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Parasited

I got Parasited once as a child. It happened pretty innocently: I dropped my Fruit Roll-Up in the sand, and I wasn’t about to let that delicious, rainbow-colored tube of sugar and smashed pears go to waste just because it had become filthy. It’s a rule I still live by to some extent, as I’ve grown to be a proudly filthy man, but I certainly learned my lesson about eating sand when the doctor told me I had worms. These days, I avoid becoming the host to foreign organisms, but I was weirdly...

Adult Empire Horror

I really wasn’t looking forward to reviewing AdultEmpire’s horror section, until I saw Lexi Belle on the very first results page and thought that maybe there’s some potential here. Look, if I haven’t made it abundantly clear already, horror porn used to be very fucking boring back in the day. It was uninspired. It felt exactly like every other type of smut, except it claimed to be horror themed.AdultEmpire has videos on backlog from over two decades ago, so as you can imagine, most of the smut...

HotMovies Horror

What’s up, you naughty little pervert!? Are you tired of jacking off porn videos with half-assed scripts and a single camera? After spending so long the world’s sluts slamming their slash for you in front of a £1000 camera, you’ve got to wonder… Is there more than this? There’s got to be content with some kind of depth, right?I mean, these girls are more than just bags of meat for you to beat your own meat to. Sometimes, you want to immerse yourself in a story! You want to experience the kind...

Dancing Bear

It’s about fucking time I reviewed DancingBear. I know; you’re on the edge of your seat for this one. So sit your ass down and check out this amazing review that I’m about to lay down. This is a website you’ve most likely already heard a lot about, and if you haven’t, well, you’ve certainly seen some of their videos on XVideos and similar tube sites, even if you didn’t technically know where they were coming from. Well, I’m about to mansplain to you in great detail how DancingBear is taking...

Texas Bukkake

The concept of TexasBukkake may come as a surprise to anybody who thought the genre was strictly a Japanese hobby. But, come on, my dudes! Not only are American pornstars just as freaky as their Asian AV idol counterparts, but our porno movies don’t censor all the sperm-squirting dongs and cum-catching twats. Now that’s what I call freedom!Anyway, Texas is known for doing things big, so why wouldn’t they go big, wet, and messy when it comes to the gangbangs? That’s the entire premise behind...

Loan4K

Loan4K is a relatively innocent name for a website. It really sounds like it might be a place to borrow a few grand to start your own business or finally buy that high-end sex doll you’ve been drooling over. I wrote the URL down, forgot what it was, and then loaded the site up this morning while trying to figure out how to pay off my bookie. He’s on his way to break my kneecaps, but I’m too busy jacking off to care.Loan4K.com, in case you haven’t figured it out, ain’t actually a loan site,...

Hunt4K

Hunt 4K sounds kind of like it could be a site for ravers looking to snort some horse tranquilizers after the molly wears off. Has anybody seen any of that K around? Honestly, though, you know I wouldn’t be talking about it here at ThePornDude if the site was aimed at the festival set. No, this hunt is aimed solidly at the masturbators of the world, whether they’re cranking it from home, the office, or a tent in a middle of the desert. I hope your WiFi is strong.In case you haven’t guessed...

Horror Porn

HorrorPorn! Hey, pervs, I’ve got something special for the extra-freaky freaks out there. This ain’t for everybody, that’s for damn sure. If you’re scared of horror movies or turned off by rough sex, hit the back arrow on your browser now. The rest of you can check out HorrorPorn.com. That is, if you’re brave enough.The Last Whorehouse on the LeftBefore you even get to look at HorrorPorn’s landing page, a big warning covers the screen. You’ve got to agree you’re an adult and won’t get offended...

Crack Whore Confessions

Heard any good Crack Whore Confessions lately? I guess that might depend on if you’re the kind of guy who gets his rocks off safely to the sexy girls of the Internet or if you’re the kind of guy who risks infections and robberies getting a piece over on the sketchy part of town. Hey, I’ve been there before. Sometimes when you’re hard up, the girls who hang out around the hourly motels start looking a hell of a lot more attractive. I’ll tell you this much: they’re even sexier when it’s your...

HelplessTeens

Helpless Teens are arguably the best type of teens, at least if you’re the sort of depraved pervert who drives around in a windowless van stocked with ropes, handcuffs, shackles and blindfolds. That could be the setup for a horror movie, but you already know what kind of subject matter I talk about here at ThePornDude. Sure, it might be some rough stuff, certainly not for everyone, but in the end, we’re always talking about porno movies. The question is, how kinky do you like to get while...

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