Sharing Claire, The Agony & The Ecstasy, Part 15 free porn video

I stood in the departure area watching Neil’s back walking away from me, and I felt a deep pang of regret and loss. We’d spent most of Sunday and Monday together, just the two of us, but now this time together seemed all too short. Even as the pain of loss and separation spread throughout my body, I sighed as I thought about the dilemma that had caused our separation. I’ve always been a curious mix of stubborn and caring, and the challenge to make things right with the school had been something that neither Neil nor I could walk away from.

And even as I thought about this worthy thing we were doing as an emergency antidote to my sadness, it had the opposite effect. It just reminded me of how wonderful Neil was. Not only had he managed to get the bank to give the money, but then he’d put my happiness first by letting me stay to supervise the renovation. Thinking about this just made me miss him all the more, as I remembered the sadness in his face as we’d said our goodbyes. The next month was going to feel like a very long time indeed.

Jason picked up on my mood and gave me a conciliatory hug. “Cheer up, babe, the time will go by faster than you think. You’ll see Neil again before you know it.”

I smiled weakly at him, looking into his handsome face. I was glad for his company and well-intentioned efforts to cheer me up, but I still ached with loss. But at least I had Jason with me these next few weeks. If I had to be without my beloved Neil, then at least I had the other man in my life to dull the pain.

“Can we find somewhere to watch the plane from?” I asked. Over the years, I’d held many children’s hands as their sad little faces watched their parents' car drive away on their first day of school. And now I was asking Jason to find a vantage point so I could do the same.

I’d thought it might help, but it had the opposite effect. As the plane climbed and then turned North, its slowly winking navigation lights symbolized distance and remoteness. Bringing home to me all the more our separation.

Jason held my hand as we walked to the car. As I buckled up, he turned my face to him and kissed me softly as our eyes met. “It’ll be okay, love. I promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the wonderful smell of the fish and fritters Alvita was frying for our breakfast. I felt Jason’s soft lips on mine as he smiled down at me, handing me morning coffee. Last night, our love-making had been tender and sweet. The sensation of being wrapped in his arms and feeling so small and powerless next to his bulk temporarily helped me forget my aching for Neil. But this morning he could see that sadness in my eyes.

I don’t know if Jason or Alvita had said something, but all of Jason’s family seemed sensitive to my mood. Even Joel, normally so flirty and amorous, was considerate and on best behavior.

Breakfast over, Jason gently reminded me that we had work to do, and we headed out to have our first meeting with the contractors. Even though this was a community project, the contractors seemed intent on ripping us off, and I was glad to have Jason there helping out. Construction projects weren’t really my thing, so Jason’s more practical experience was invaluable.

By lunchtime and our third meeting, I’d given up any semblance of trying to control or influence the various building discussions and contributed what I could while allowing Jason to take the lead. He was obviously better suited for it.

At lunch, we headed to the little restaurant run by Hannah’s sister Kalisa and her American husband Duane. They both seemed delighted to see us, and chatted for a while, before apologizing that they had to head back to their duties. As I watched them working as a team, I smiled to myself as I noticed all those little signs of their love and closeness as they worked together. But the smile gave way to a deep ache within as it made me remember how much I was missing Neil.

I’ve always loved ‘people watching’, and when they were out of earshot I asked Jason a question that I’d been wondering about, ever since I’d first met them.

“Honey, what’s their story? They seem so different, from two different worlds and with such a big age gap? How come they ended up together?”

Jason didn’t answer immediately, as he considered his answer. “It’s a long story. You’d better ask them, really.”

The conversation moved on, but something in Jason’s answer and the manner of his answer rankled with me. Normally he’s happy to share gossip, so why all of a sudden this reticence? Most un-Jason-like, and I made a mental note to see if someone else might explain.

Halfway through the afternoon, Jason’s brother Joel, the six-foot, nine-inch man mountain, turned-up at the school buildings. The truth is I was a bit bored, as Jason was handling most of the work, so I was quite pleased to see Joel. At breakfast, he’d been respectful of my subdued mood, but with my smile telling him I was in a better place, he gently flirted.

“Afternoon, Claire. See you’re looking as gorgeous as ever! You know all these workers won’t be able to concentrate with you around. Wouldn’t surprise me if some of them even offer free overtime. Or maybe ask for payment in kind!”

“Don’t be so wicked! What would your big brother say if he heard you talking to his girlfriend like that?” I told him off, but my smile told him I’d enjoyed the flattery and flirting.

Joel continued the game. “Claire, he’s not my ‘big’ brother, he’s my older brother,” he grinned, and after a suitable pause said, “You know that better than anyone.”

Joel held me in his gaze, and I felt flustered as I wondered if he was going to make a pass at me, unsure of how I’d react. Joel and I had already made love twice, but both times with Jason’s consent. But Jason was nowhere to be seen, and I wasn’t aware of the etiquette for how an already unfaithful wife should respond to a pass from her boyfriend’s brother. I’m pretty sure that one wasn’t in the lady’s guide to good manners.

I think Joel was just about to make his move when we heard a baby’s cry. A moment later, Jason’s sister Delores opened the door, with little baby Ife in her arms. The moment was gone, and if I was honest with myself I felt a little disappointed, my body’s rush of adrenaline telling me the truth. The old me would have been relieved. The new me had few boundaries and craved the new and exciting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of us drove back to the Campbell family home at the end of a long but productive day. Work details had been finalized and prices agreed, and everything was set for the workers to arrive on Tuesday. As we rode back, Joel sat up front with his brother and I sat in the back with Delores and baby Ife.

I asked to hold him, enjoying the feel and smell of the little bundle of life, feeling quite broody and nostalgic for the days when I’d held Amy and Kaitlyn like this.

“Penny for them?”

I looked up, my nostalgic day-dreaming interrupted by Delores’ question. We shared a smile, two women united by the bond of motherhood, albeit at different ends of the rainbow.

“I was just thinking back to when my girls were this age,” I confessed. “I miss it, sometimes.”

“You’re not too old. You’re still a beautiful woman.”

I smiled at Delores’ youthful innocence. She’d taken my wistful nostalgia a little too literally.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I don’t really want another child. I was just remembering, that’s all. All the good times. I think my next baby will more likely be my grandchild rather than my own child.”

She looked a little downhearted as she held little Ife. “That’s a shame, little Ife could do with a playmate.” And then she looked at the back of her brother’s head as he drove and leaned over to whisper. “Jason never really got over the loss of Jayden. I’m sure making a baby with you would help make him whole again.”

I looked at Delores, stunned and totally lost for words.

Before I could speak she smiled softly and put her hand on my tummy. “I remember how good it felt when little Ife was inside my tummy. The way his father used to look at me. The way the three of us felt so close.”

I just about recovered enough to say something, and I gently removed her hand from my tummy.

“Delores, I’m forty-three-years-old, with a husband and two grown daughters. Sweetheart, it a lovely kind thought, to help your brother. But if he wants another child he’ll have to find himself someone who’s younger. And preferably not already married!” I added trying to lighten the conversation.

I was relieved as the car pulled into their home. Delores’ earnest conversation about how I could help make Jason whole again had unnerved me. She seemed a sweet young woman, and I’m sure she hadn’t meant to unsettle me, but that’s exactly what she’d achieved.

With all of the family gathered around the big table, dinner passed quickly. Mainly because my mind was somewhere else, still unsettled by Delores’ conversation. I was actually a little angry with her. Before the conversation, I’d been looking forward to my call with Neil. But now I was preoccupied and I knew the call wouldn’t be as satisfying.

At least, that’s what I expected. But I underestimated the power of love and longing. As soon as I saw Neil’s face, it was like I felt a warm balm spreading throughout my entire body. I’m normally the more talkative one, but he was very chatty and I was happy to just listen and look at his face. The face and the man, my cornerstone these last twenty years.

After a while, he stopped and asked. “Claire, honey, is everything alright? You seem very quiet. That’s not like you.”

“I’m fine, baby. It’s just I miss you and I was enjoying just hearing you talk and looking at your handsome face.”

His expression changed. “I miss you too, darling,” and he sighed deeply. “I’m proud of you, and I get it, but I really miss you. I wish you were here right now, in my arms, so I could hold you and make love to you.”

If Neil’s face had been a balm to my spirit, these words lifted my heart, at the same time as they made me sad and frustrated at the distance that separated us.

“Me too, honey. If you were here, we’d slip under the sheets and I’d press your hands to my breasts. And I’d kiss you so softly, taking you in my mouth. Teasing and tormenting you until you give me your seed. And when I’d swallowed all you can give me, I’d caress your body and let you play with me until you’re ready again. My legs would draw you in, wrap you in my web until you make me yours again.”

As I made love to him through my words, the look on Neil’s face was priceless. I knew he wanted to reach out and grab me, and I felt excited that I’d roused his passion with my words. How much more if we’d not been separated by fifteen hundred miles of ocean. We looked at each, not speaking, each aware of how much we wanted the other. The moment went on and on, neither of us wanting to break that magic moment.

But the spell was broken by a firm knock on the door as Jason’s dark tattooed face peered around the edge of the door. It was his room, but he knew Neil and I were talking and had respected our privacy.

“Can I speak to Neil? Or would you rather I come back in a while?”

I was a little angry at being disturbed and losing the moment, and it must have shown in my face.

“I’ll come back in a while. Just tell me when it’s okay,” Jason told me in an apologetic tone.

After a brief hesitation, I summoned him in. “It’s okay, Jay. I’m sure Neil’s happy to say hi.”

The bed sagged under his bulk as he sat next to me and waved to Neil.

“Hey, buddy, how’s things? How’s Wall Street and our favorite city?”

“Hey, bro, good to see you.” I smiled at Neil’s unfamiliar choice of words, aware he was now often aping the language of his younger and cooler new friend.

“Right back at you,” Jason smiled, his arm snaking around my shoulder.

My two men talked about various things and to be honest I tuned out, my mind wandering off and contemplating the strangeness of our current three-way set-up. Wondering what my friends or family would think if they knew the half of what had happened these last months.

Jason didn’t stay more than a few minutes and then kissed me before disappearing off, telling me to call him when we were done as he said he had a surprise for me.

As he shut the door behind him, I was happy to have Neil back all to myself. My earlier anger at Jason’s interruption had gone, but I wanted and needed Neil all to myself. I didn’t want to share him with anyone.

We talked for another half an hour or so. Neil asked me about my day, and I told him about all of the mundane building stuff, before sharing with him how down I’d been feeling earlier. I toyed with sharing the strange conversation I’d had with Delores but decided against telling him just yet. I would tell him, but we needed to be face-to-face and for Neil to understand the context. So that he’d see it as the ‘funny strange’ thing that I saw it as. Shared in the wrong way he might take it as a serious thing, which certainly wasn’t how I saw it.

As we signed off, we told each other how much we loved each other, and I made him promise not to be late the following night and to make sure we had another full hour to chat. I could see in his eyes that he was happy to be so needed by me.

As I clicked the end button, all felt right with the world, and I smiled as Jason’s face appeared around the bedroom door again. I almost laughed. All we needed was his two brothers heads to appear below his head and we’d have had a passable impression of the three stooges.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was so peaceful as we walked along the deserted shoreline, hand-in-hand and looking at the blinking lights of the ships plying their way across the Caribbean.

Jason’s surprise had been a romantic evening on the beach, complete with chilled white wine, a blanket to sit on and a collection of my favorite romantic music.

As I sat with my back pressed into his muscular chest, it felt good to have his strong arms wrapped around my waist, my arms on top of his own my contribution to our closeness.

“How are you feeling now? I know you miss him,” his velvety voice asked with genuine feeling.

“Better. A lot better. Talking to him was just the tonic I needed.”

“I’m glad. What you’re both doing is a wonderful thing. You should both be really proud of your love and unselfish sacrifice for those kids.”

I smiled. I did feel good about what we were doing. But sometimes it’s nice to hear someone else say it, that what you’re doing is something to be proud of.

Hearing Jason’s words, I suddenly felt very loving towards this man, and I turned my neck and offered my mouth to him for a kiss.

Our kiss was soft and long, full of meaning. “Sorry if I’ve been a bit down today.”

Jason smiled sympathetically. “It’s okay, I get it. The main thing is you’re feeling better now.”

I smiled back at my lover, feeling his arms tighten around my waist. After five months as lovers, Jason and I knew each little nuance and hint, and I knew exactly what that little squeeze around my waist meant. And I wanted it to. I wanted to give something back to this man who’d been so patient with me today. And I wanted it as some kind of anaesthetic for the dull ache of separation. And I wanted it as a flesh and blood woman, neither married nor single, just a woman who knew the pleasure my black lover would give me.

I didn’t care that we were on the beach, I just wanted that Jason and I would consummate our feelings and love. I sighed in contentment as he entered me and then drove all the way in, marvelling again at how he filled me and went so deep. Our mouths fought in our mutual hunger, and I placed his big fingers to my breasts as he started to slowly pump me.

We’d made love many times before, but there was something very primal and raw as we made love on that beach. My legs pushed as wide as I could as I gazed up at Jason’s brown soulful eyes as he made love to me. Even more, than all the times before, it felt like two people joined as one, maybe fueled by the beauty and naturalness of the beach. We were just a man and a woman giving themselves to one another in that most basic of human acts, the act in which all life begins.

As we made love, I gazed into Jason’s handsome face and ran my hands up and down his taut, muscular chest and abs. I couldn’t help but compare him to the husband I’d spent so long gazing at earlier this evening. The two men in my life. So different, and yet united in their love for me.

Jason so muscular and virile, with his array of tattoos like a warrior’s war paint. The embodiment of maleness. And Neil, the man whose face shone with love and intelligence, who’d fathered my children and helped me raise them. As I felt the pleasure from having Jason deep inside me, I realized how lucky I was to have two such wonderful men in my life.

As we recovered, I lay with my head on Jason’s broad chest and felt his seed seeping out of me, the fitting and perfect end to such a natural and raw act. I touched my hand to my pussy and felt his sticky seed, and Delores’ earlier conversation came flooding back to my mind.

At first, I thought I’d say nothing, but it was one of those times when I couldn’t stop myself.

“Jason, I had the strangest of conversations with Delores today.”

“Really. Do you want to tell me about it?”

I paused, trying to find just the right words, in the end deciding to repeat what she’d said word-for-word.

“She put her hand on my tummy, asked me if I remembered how wonderful it felt to have a baby in your tummy and how close it made you to the father. And then she said how you’d never been whole since Jayden and that having a baby with me would make you whole again.”

There was a long silence, neither of us speaking. I wondered if Jason knew I was expecting him to speak, or was he waiting for me.

Finally, he spoke. “This is a conversation I don’t want to have, Claire.”

I looked into his face and saw a hardness and determination he’d never shown to me before. His expression told me he didn’t expect any further discussion.

“Jason, that’s not good enough. That just tells me there’s something we have to discuss.”

“No,” came his emphatic reply. “Because once something’s been said, it can’t be unsaid. It can never be forgotten, and the damage can’t be undone.”

I knew what he was hinting at. But hints and half-truths were no good to me. “Jason, please don’t speak in riddles. It’s me, Claire.”

His expression softened, and he reached out to hold my hand, in a gesture that mixed apology and need.

“I’m sorry, it’s just I’m afraid,” he replied in a nervous voice.

I wasn’t used to the idea of my intimidatingly large boyfriend being scared, and I squeezed his hand to reassure him. “Afraid of what.”

“Of losing you, Claire.”

“Why would you lose me?”

“Because if I do as you ask and spell it out, then I’m afraid I’ll lose you and Neil.”

I knew what he was driving at, but I was like a dog with a bone and wouldn’t let go until it was all out in the open, for good or bad.

“You talked to Delores about having a baby with me?”

Jason looked at me as if deciding what to say next. Fight or flight?

“What’s so wrong with that, Claire. It’s what people who are in love do, isn’t it? It’s what you and Neil did?”

“But that was different. We were young and married to each other. Now I’m in my forties, and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m married to Neil.”

“Women in their forties have children all of the time. My mother had Delores and Leon when she was your age. And these days people have babies out of marriage all of the time.”

I looked at him, totally exasperated, unable to make him see how crazy what he was suggesting was. Just as I thought I might explode, he backed off, his mood changing from argumentative to peace-maker.

Jason’s voice was no longer belligerent, it was sad and resigned. “This is what I meant, Claire. This is what I was afraid of. I know, however much I might want it, you and I can never have a child together. I know that. But by being honest with you, I’ve probably lost you now. Now that you forced me to share this thing I wanted to keep hidden.”

I stroked his cheek and tried to cheer him up. “Why do you say you’ve lost me?”

“Claire, come on. What’s Neil going to say. How do you think Neil’s going to react when you tell him this? Or are you saying you’re not going to tell him?”

I was so stunned by the discussion we were having, I’d totally forgotten about Neil. I was sure I’d have to tell him, and I wondered how he’d react. Jason saw the light going in my brain.

“Neil’s going to insist we stop seeing each other, as sure as night follows day. What man wouldn’t?” he stated with certainty.

“Jason, I don’t know what Neil’s going to say, but you’re right, I’ll have to tell him. But I don’t see why he’ll stop us seeing each other. He’s been pretty cool with everything so far, and you know he loves watching us together.”

Jason locked his fingers between mine and kissed my hand. “Claire, I’m frightened of losing you. All I ask is that you think about not telling Neil. After all, I didn’t want to say anything, but you made me. And we both know this can never happen. So what’s the point in telling him something that’s just going to hurt all three of us, and that’s irrelevant anyway.”

Put like that, he had a good point.

“Claire, just promise me you’ll think about it. I don’t want to lose you, and I think you feel the same.”

I said nothing, not replying to his request. I just smiled sympathetically.

As we headed back to the house, I realized just how much this intense conversation had sapped my energy. I was brushing my hair before bed when Jason appeared behind me and tenderly placed a single kiss on my shoulder blade.

“Claire, I think it’s best I sleep in another room tonight.”

I looked at those sad eyes.

“Jason, there’s no need for that. Couple’s fight all the time. Neil and I have had our share,” I smiled softly. “Besides, I want to feel you next to me, to feel your arms around me. Maybe we both need that tonight?”

A smile flickered to his sad face. “If you’re sure you're okay with it?”

“I’m sure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day the work teams came to the school and started the various jobs that needed doing. I had little to keep me occupied, as Jason was doing most of the supervising and the kids were temporarily being taught in the church buildings half a mile away.

With nothing to keep my mind occupied, I started thinking back to the conversation from the night before. I knew I needed to tell Neil about such a significant conversation. But Jason had made some good points. I’d been the one to force him to talk, and he was right that little good could come from sharing this with Neil.

Thinking it through, I knew I still needed to tell Neil, but I needed to tell him at a time and in a way that he’d see it as I did. A silly irrelevance.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I was startled by the voice from the door. “Anyone at home?” I suddenly remembered at breakfast Delores had said she’d come over and keep me company. With little baby Ife so young and needing constant attention, she had time on her hands and was glad of the company. He was gurgling away happily to himself as Delores sat next to me, and he gave me a lovely smile that distracted me from my earlier dilemma.

“Can I hold him? Would that be okay?”

As I cradled him in my arms, he continued gurgling and smiling at his Aunty Claire, and all felt well with the world. All of the drama and stress from the previous night washed away in something as beautiful and natural as a young infant child. As I rocked him back and forth, his little hand came out and squeezed my finger, and it was like I was twenty years younger and cradling my own daughters. I smiled at Delores, and I’m sure she knew what was in my mind as I enjoyed this beautiful moment and the memories it brought back.

As we were chatting, I received a text from Hannah’s sister Kalisa, inviting Jason and me to lunch. I accepted and said I’d get back to her with a time when I’d spoken to Jason. The text took my mind back to the question I’d asked Jason. About how a couple so different as Kalisa and Duane had ended up together, and how Jason had avoided answering the question.

“Delores, how well do you know Kalisa?”

“Pretty well, she’s like a big sister to me. She’s been a huge help, showing me the ropes with little Ife. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just I was a bit intrigued about how a couple so different ended up together. Jason started explaining it to me but got side-tracked, and so I was just wondering if you know the story?”

Something changed in Delores' face as I asked my question. She’d been relaxed and chatty, but now she looked guarded and nervous.

“I do know some stuff, but it’s not really my place to say anything. You’ll have to ask Jason. He’s a bit sensitive about the whole thing.”

I let the subject drop, but something in Delores’ reaction made me even more inquisitive.

A few minutes later Joel arrived looking for Delores, passing on the message that Leon and their mother were waiting outside as baby Ife had a doctor’s appointment. As Delores headed off, Joel sat himself down where she’d been sitting.

“How’s my beautiful teacher today?” he asked with a big grin.

As we sat talking, it was clear to me that Joel wasn’t going to give up flirting and pursuing me. I was his brother’s girlfriend, but that seemingly meant nothing to him. I had no intention of it going anywhere, but I was surprised to realize how much I was enjoying his attentions. I felt my pulse quicken and my nipples harden a little.

I’d been the one asking Delores about Kalisa, but Joel turned the tables on me, asking how I’d met his brother and how my husband and I had gotten into this lifestyle. At first, I felt a bit embarrassed telling him, but it became easier the more I explained, and by the end, I was amazed at how openly I was sharing. I realized it was actually giving me a bit of a sexual buzz to tell our story to Joel.

His questions got more and more personal, asking me if the other night was the first time I’d been with more than one man at a time. I found myself feeling damp between my legs as I told Joel about the night back home with Jason, Tyrell and Lewis. Joel just grinned. “I wish I’d had a naughty teacher like you when I was in school.”

Moving a little closer, he asked, “What did you like best about being with more than one guy?”

Even though his questioning had gotten me aroused, I felt myself color up at his question. “Joel, that’s not a question that a gentleman asks a lady.”

His grin just got wider. “I never said I was a gentleman.” And then I felt his hand on my thigh as he fixed me with a steely gaze. His hand worked higher until his fingers reached the damp gusset of my panties.

“Oh, Claire, you’re all wet, you must be excited by all this talking, maybe you need something else to go along with all the talk.”

I felt his large fingers pulling the damp gusset to one side and I moaned as one finger rubbed my clit while the other started working up and down my love lips.

“Attagirl, you know this is what you’ve wanted, ever since that first night at the club when your killjoy husband spoilt our fun.”

I let out a long groan as I felt Joel thrust first one and then two fingers into my body, my hand shooting out to grasp his shoulder as I steadied myself. Joel continued gently rubbing at my clit while his fingers steadily worked in and out, now going really deep each time, as my excitement started building up. Both of my arms were now locked around Joel’s neck as our mouths locked together in a deep kiss.

I wanted the sweet release of orgasm, but each time I got close Joel would back off and let me come off the boil, before grinning and then starting the whole process again. After the third time, I begged him to let me cum. He gave me an evil smile, “Only when I’m inside you Claire, I want to feel your lovely pussy wrapped tight around my big cock. Only then I’ll let you cum.”

I was torn. My body was desperate for the release of an orgasm, but I felt like I’d be cheating on Jason. Joel helped me to my feet and started pulling me towards a door. But then my phone rang, and it broke the spell. I rearranged myself and answered, as Kalisa told me off for not getting back to her with a time.

I apologized and asked her to hold on while I went in search of Jason. As I walked around the site to find him, I felt glad that Kalisa’s call had saved me. I didn’t want to become the kind of woman who was ‘easy’, open to the sexual advances of any guy who propositioned me. That wasn’t who I was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After lunch I was fearful that Joel would again put the moves on me, so I asked Jason to drop me off at the church building where Agatha and Chloe were teaching. I spent a happy afternoon helping Chloe out with some of the slower children, taking them aside in a small group for special attention.

But the happiness didn’t last long. I’d been looking forward to my call with Neil all day. The surreal conversation with Jason about pregnancy had distracted me for a time, but as the day went on I found the previous days melancholy returning, as I thought of Neil all those thousands of miles away.

I’d made Neil promise not to be late. I called him at seven p.m. sharp and was pleased when he immediately picked up. At first, my heart leapt to see his familiar and comforting face. But a couple of seconds later I realized I didn’t recognize the backdrop. I felt a sinking feeling as he was in Hannah’s condo. He was making our nightly call from Hannah’s place.

At a rational level, I shouldn’t have been upset. I was down here in Jamaica with Jason. But Neil was my anchor, my lifeline to our real life, and he wasn’t in our family home. He was with another woman. Neil had told me that he didn’t love Hannah, but that his feelings for her were changing, but that it didn’t represent a challenge to our love. But seeing Neil sat there, happy and smiling, against the backdrop of Hannah’s lounge set all kind of alarm bells ringing for me.

I tried to stop my emotions showing in my face, but Neil saw my reaction almost immediately.

“Claire, baby, are you okay?”

I tried to put a brave face on it. “It’s nothing, honey. I guess it’s still hard for me sometimes, seeing you with Hannah. That’s all.”

Neil grimaced. Right from our early courting days, he’d always hated causing me pain.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t think.”

“That’s okay, I can’t expect you to sit at home like a monk for the next month.”

He smiled, “If you asked, hun, I’d do it.”

My spirit’s lifted as I looked at Neil’s face and saw the depth of his love for me.

“Well maybe not a monk then, maybe just a naughty priest who’s allowed out to play some of the time,” I giggled.

Neil and I chatted about all kinds of stuff, including conversations he’d had with our girls, and this just made me feel all the more homesick. I didn’t want our conversation to end. We talked on and on, and a few times the thought of the pregnancy conversation came up, but I knew now wasn’t the time.

As we talked, I was struck by the odd thought that here I was in a family home surrounded by the entire Campbell family, but I still felt lonely. It wasn’t my family. My family was fifteen hundred miles away, sat in another woman’s apartment.

When we ended the call, I felt a wave of sadness sweep over me. It was only Tuesday of the first week. I had another month of separation from Neil to go, and I wasn’t sure I could cope with it. When Jason came into the bedroom, he immediately saw the change in my mood. He tried his best to cheer me up, but in the end, the best he could do was just hold me in his arms. We didn’t make love that night. I think we both knew it wouldn’t have felt right.

On Wednesday, Jason suggested that I go and help Agatha and Chloe again, pointing out that this was probably the best antidote to my sadness. He was right, being with the children kept my mind occupied and seeing their smiling and cheeky faces lifted my spirits. Agatha and Chloe were happy to see me, the three of us really feeling like a close-knit team. On Thursday and Friday, I stayed in the church building again, helping with the kids, and it continued to help cheer me up.

On Friday lunchtime, Jason turned up to see me teaching, and I loved the loving way he looked at me as I continued with my little slow learners' group. When we broke for lunch, he took me in his arms and gave me a deep kiss. As we finally broke our kiss, he grinned at me and I knew there was something he was wanted to tell me.

He pulled out an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to me. It was a ticket for the evening flight from Kingston to New York. We didn’t speak, I just wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him the biggest kiss.

I didn’t do any teaching that Friday afternoon. Jason dragged me back to his family home and we spent all afternoon and early evening making wild, passionate love. We’d been lovers for five months now, but it was like that first night. It felt fresh and exciting all over again.

With my sad loneliness, we’d not made love much the last couple of days, so Jason was hungry for me and I gladly gave myself to him, accepting him deep into my body as often as he was able.

It was a very tired but happy lady who eventually boarded the twenty-one-thirty flight to New York. This satisfied teacher and mother of two slept well for the whole four hours of the flight.

But if I’d known what was waiting for me in New York, I wouldn’t have slept a wink. In fact, I’m not sure I’d have boarded that flight at all. You may remember, the Queen of England had a year full of family divorces and castle fires, and she called this her ‘annus horribilis’, her horrible year. I was about to have my own ‘weekend horribilis’.