Don t Shoot the Messenger Chapter 13
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There is something inevitable about the way the male bladder works when stimulated by enough alcohol. Anthony stirred at about five am, needing to pee but still mostly asleep.
Julie, in the spare room, was woken by his footsteps as he crept to the main bathroom.
He's trying not to wake Laura, she thought, not using the en-suite. She lay still wondering if he'd look her way. She heard the door close and relaxed. Should she try to go back to sleep? No, wait at least until he goes back to bed. For a second she considered sneaking into the other room and snuggling up to Laura. A wild idea, the bed was big enough for three. Would Anthony realise in the dark that there were three in bed? Should she risk it? Was there time?
How long does it take a guy to pee? She heard footsteps but going the wrong way. She heard him ease the door closed and then almost silent footsteps going downstairs. Damn. Was he getting a drink? More likely he was cleaning up. Oh well, this would be less fun, but she could go and shock him out of his mind. Was that the best plan?
She could easily get into bed with Laura now, or she could wake Laura, maybe have fun with Laura and hope Anthony came back to bed. No that would be too confusing, she could catch up with Laura later. Let her sleep, for now, she might be a card to play if things got too heavy with Anthony. She slid out of bed. Should she put the corset back on? Hell, why not. She crept downstairs trying to imagine an opening line. Maybe silence would be the thing.
The living room door was open, and Anthony was standing over his laptop. The wire to the TV had already been pulled out, and he was staring at the headphones that she'd left plugged in. At that point, she almost giggled. She could see him puzzling, that lawyer brain with all it's attention to detail trying to make sense of what he saw.
"What are you doing?" she whispered.
He spun around and in the dim light, his own eyes still slightly blinded from looking at the computer screen all he could see was a slim figure wearing that leather corset. The only other light came from the streetlight filtering through the hall window. The laptop screen illuminated his face but not hers.
"Laura?" he said a hint of doubt in his voice.
"No, it's me," she said. "Julie… remember her… your wife."
"Oh God," he slumped into a chair.
"Destroying the evidence? Really? Is that ethical?"
She watched as his self-control collapsed into a vulnerable mess.
Julie walked over to him, pulled another chair next to him and wrapped her arms around him.
"It's okay love, I know all about it, and I know a lot more about her than you do."
She waited for an answer, but all there was were sobs.
"I watched the whole thing when I got home. You were brilliant darling. Most guys would have been all over her and screwed her there and then on the table. You defended my honour very well. I'm proud of you."
She paused again.
"I guess you fucked her in our bed. I hope you did, you deserved a treat after your brilliant performance yesterday. I should have been home to give it to you. I'm not sure I'd have done that trick with the strawberries, but maybe we can try it another day."
"You'd still…?"
"Oh yes, of course, I would. I expect Laura's taught you a lot."
For a second the sobs stopped, and Julie could almost feel his brain whirring.
"Laura?"
"LBG, Laura Bethany Graham, you know, the girl in the bed upstairs."
"But how do you know her name?"
"Good to see the lawyer brain getting back in gear, I thought we'd lost it for a second. Now dry your eyes and answer me one question."
Anthony looked at her for a moment and then struggled to his feet before going into the kitchen. He washed his face with cold water, dried his eyes and turned back to her.
"There's stuff going on here that I don't have a clue about isn't there?"
"Yes dear, for five in the morning you're doing very well. Now, will you answer my question?"
"Go on."
"Do you need to go back to bed or shall we start the story now?"
"What story?"
"Laura? We can wake her if you like or we can start without her. I'm curious about one thing though."
"What?"
"Do you think you would have fucked her in the morning before I got back?"
She watched his face start to collapse again.
"Sorry, not a fair question. Do you think you could fuck me now, forget all the stories, forget Laura, unless we're so noisy that we wake her up, I'd like to have you right now, I've missed you- with all the cases and the TV you watch I've been missing you too much for too long. You owe me."
She pulled him towards her and kissed him before turning him around and forcing him to sit on the sofa. A second later she was on her knees with his cock in her mouth. Anthony collapsed back against the cushions, confused and unsure what would happen next.
After filling her mouth for a few seconds, she released him and grinned wickedly.
"So you did fuck her. I know it wouldn't stand up in court by I think that taste is proof enough."
She returned to the task and in a few minutes had him hard.
"Have I got to do all the work?"
"What's come over you?"
"Can we discuss that after you've fucked me? What about the table? Did you fancy her on there?"
Julie stood up and ran to the dining table, leapt on it and spread her legs.
"Like this? Have I got the pose right?"
"Please don't."
She turned over and lay face down on the table. "From this view, with this corset, I bet you can't tell which of us it is."
"I give in," he said. "I can't take any more. I shouldn't have done it. I'll leave. That's what you want isn't it?"
She pushed herself back up from the table.
"No you idiot, that's not what I want. I'm the psychologist, I'm the one who does the hidden messages but right now I want to be fucked, and if you won't do it I'll go and find someone who will."
"At this time of night?"
She turned to face him. "I'm not going walking the streets looking for horny studs, I mean upstairs in our bed. If you won't have me, I bet Laura will."
"What? You can't mean…"
"I told you I knew more about her than you do, but I was saving that part for later."
She stopped, searched his face, watching the confusion deepen, and then she laughed, relaxing, letting her own tension out; enjoying having the upper hand and revelling in it. She pulled him towards her, kissing and hugging him, feeling the tension in his body.
"I guess it was too much to ask. This is going to be harder work than I thought. So back to question one, do you want to sleep first and have all the explanations later, or start now?"
"Jules I feel awful. I have no idea what is going on, but I doubt if I'll be able to sleep. Does that answer your question?"
"Poor you. Laura's nice isn't she. She was very helpful at the court," she paused, thinking and her voice changed, slowing, levelling out, trying to hide the strange feeling as she said, "Angela was very grateful."
"She came to find me because she was worried about Angela," he said. "So was I until you called. I almost came to town but I thought by the time I got there it would probably be way past useful."
Julia nodded and for a minute looked thoughtful.
"Anthony I think you'd better sit down. I don't know how to tell you this, but I think you'd better sit down."
He slumped into one of the armchairs.
"You are leaving, I knew it."
"Anthony stop saying that. I am not leaving unless you throw me out."
"Why would I do that?"
"That's what I'm coming to."
She sat on the sofa, looked at him and then stood up again and started pacing around the room, finally turning towards him again.
"I don't know where to sit."
"Sit anywhere."
"I'm a psychologist, I should know where to sit."
Finally, Anthony laughed.
"I don't want to seem confrontational."
"Jules it’s us," he said, beginning to smile for the first time. "It doesn't matter where you sit."
She sat on the floor beside the chair, leaning against the arm and looking up at him.
"It's about Angela."
"Are you going to have to go to her again? You could bring her over here."
Julia started laughing, descending into giggles and clutching her sides. "You have no idea how funny that is." She stopped to catch her breath. "Angela doesn't exist."
"She was in court yesterday."
"That was me."
Anthony sat slumped in the chair, had he heard what she said?
"I've wanted to tell you this for a long time. I feel bad that it's gone on so long,” she said, putting her hands on his thighs and pushing them apart so that she could force herself between them. “Please don't interrupt, don't say anything until I've finished."
"I invented Angela. She's a sort of alter ego. I found a lot of clients needed personal help— you know what I mean by personal; you heard some of it in court. I invented Angela to make sure nothing was ever traced back to you. When I said, I knew a lot about sex I wasn't joking."
"After the case yesterday Laura gave me a lift back to my office, though she thought it was Angela’s place. She was curious, I showed her a few things, and she did the same for me. She's very good— well you know that don't you. I think I should employ her."
"Oh wow," said a voice from the doorway.
"Now you know why you might want to divorce me, it's not the sort of thing a partner's wife does." She looked quickly at Laura as she stepped into the room.
"I suppose if I employ her you won't be able to marry Laura either, but we could keep you entertained," said Julie, "You probably get a discount."
"Free even," said Laura, sitting down next to Julie.
"Did you guess?" Julie said, turning briefly to Laura.
"When I saw that picture of you on the kitchen wall I wondered. Before that, I hadn't a clue."
"Why did you come here?"
"I thought you'd be here and I'd say I was worried about Angela. Well, you know what... um... what Angela and I did. What I did to Angela. Then you weren't here, and I saw the picture..."
"What did Laura do?" said Anthony, trying to find a way into the conversation.
Julie ignored him, facing Laura. "I was going to stay in town but Marion my hairdresser helped sort me out."
"Really? Your hairdresser?"
"Ice baths and Arnica and then I came to my senses."
"Hang on a minute."
They both turned to look at Anthony.
"Don't I get a chance to ask questions?"
"Not until we're ready." said the two women together.
Julie turned back to Laura.
"Marion is a hairdresser, she's very good but more than that, she's done a lot of makeup work for movies, so I used her to transform me into Angela, and the plan was to meet after the case to change me back."
"Only I messed it up. Sorry. I got carried away." Laura blinked and for a moment looked forlorn, sitting on the floor against the side of Anthony's chair and holding her head in her hands. "You were going to come home to Anthony and own up to the biggest secret I've ever heard, and I know he was ready to tell you what a heel he'd been ignoring you and working too hard." The words came rushing out so fast she had to stop for breath. "I completely messed it up because I wanted to impress you. I was so carried away with what you did in court, you seemed so self-assured, so together, I wanted to be like you."
Julie reached out and took her hand. "You succeeded."
She turned back to Anthony.
"Sorry love, this must be a lot to take in. Between us, we've turned your world upside down. You can ask anything you like now."
There was a long silence, while Anthony lay back in the chair, eyes closed, breathing in spasms. The two women looked at each other unsure what to do next. Laura pointed at Anthony's cock slowly deflating like a plant needing water. She shrugged her shoulders, held her hands together in a kind of supplication and circled her fist on her chest, signing I'm sorry. Julie smiled, moving her hand in what she hoped was some sort of sign for 'Don't worry,' or 'it's okay.'
"I'll make some coffee," Laura said, slowly rolling away from the chair and getting to her feet.
"I didn't plan this," said Julie. "I always meant to tell you one day but the chance never seemed to come up, and then with that ridiculous detective I knew I had to come clean."
"It's all my fault," he said, his voice little more than a hoarse whisper. "You tried to talk about sex, and I blew it completely."
"You would have got there."
"When?"
"Maybe today, you had the day off, you hinted on the phone, well I think you did, you know— you said we'd have a day to ourselves— you bought flowers…"
"I wanted to be nice to you, to make up to you."
"I know. It's been years since you bought me flowers."
"What do we do now?" he said, finally opening his eyes.
"Have breakfast?" Julie said.
His head rolled back, and this time he really smiled, relief flooding through him, finally on ground he understood.
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"I thought we might all spend the day in bed," she took his cock in her hand and gently squeezed. "We've never talked about a threesome, but now might be a good time."
"I don't know."
"I get that darling, but for now I'm going to keep pushing you way out of your comfort zone. I want you to at least know a lot more before you kick me out."
"I don't want to kick you out."
"I know, but you need to think about your job, your life. What would your partners think about your wife being a high-class whore? We can be friends, we'll always be friends, I'll always love you, but could they cope with us being married?"
"Don't," he said. "Please don't. Right now I can't cope with this."
"Can you eat?"
"I could try."
"Sit there and wait, I'm going to cook and then you're going to eat."
Julie made her way to the kitchen and Anthony slumped back in the chair. Julie left the door to the kitchen open so that she could keep glancing in his direction as she worked. Laura had made the coffee and then stayed in the kitchen, uncertain about what she should do.
"Should I go?" she said when Julie arrived.
"Why?"
"You two need space don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess, but you're part of this."
"I don't get why you're being nice to me."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because I whipped you without asking, didn't give you a safeword, fucked your husband behind your back; you know, all the usual things that get a girl a boot up the you know where."
"I get all that, but I like you, and Anthony must have too. I can't exactly be jealous, I'm not that much of a hypocrite."
"You mean because you've had loads of guys?"
"Something like that."
"Did…um…" Anthony stood in the doorway, hesitant, stumbling over his words, "Did you have affairs as well as…"
"As well as professional clients. No love. Just like lawyers, I only screw people for money…" She paused, glanced at Laura and back to Anthony. "I won’t deny that some of it was fun, but they all paid."
"How many men have you had?"
"You only want to know about the men?"
"Oh, God."
"If I say I've lost count would you be upset?"
"I just want to know."
"I can't tell you off the top of my head, I don’t keep the score in my head but if you really want to know you can come to the studio and see the evidence. I keep immaculate records; you can see everything. Would you like that? Sorry, like may be the wrong word. I could go and get them right now if it helps."
"I guess," he said. "Maybe I should." He held out a hand, and she took it without hesitation.
"You might not like it, but at least you'd know there weren't any other secrets."
"And you've never seen any of these people outside of work?"
"None at all. Some of them would have liked that. I had some amazing offers, but I always said no."
"I'd love to see those tapes," said Laura, "I bet I'd learn loads."
"What offers?" said Anthony.
"One guy offered me ten thousand pounds to come on holiday with him for a week."
"Where did he want to take you?"
"I never asked, I wasn't going to go, so I kept it simple. If I'd asked for details, he'd have thought I was interested and kept upping the price until I said yes."
"What would you have gone for?"
"I have no idea, I guess if it had been into the hundreds of thousands I would have asked you what you thought."
"But I..."
"We are being theoretical here love. If he offered something totally ridiculous, I'd have said to you that I'd met this man through work and he'd made me this crazy offer — what did you think? You're always telling me that your colleagues are jealous of your sexy wife, I'd have made the story fit with that."
Anthony stood leaning against the wall shaking his head.
"Let's eat," Julie said. "This looks ready, and then you can spend the whole day asking me whatever you like."
"Couldn't we just fuck, or talk and fuck?"
"Laura you are incorrigible." Julie turned to Anthony. "Was she good?"
"How can you ask me that?"
"I think she could be a good friend. I think she has potential, and I could teach her a lot more. So that would mean she and I would see a lot of each other. If you fancied her, that would be something we'd have to deal with. On the other hand, if it was no big deal for you— sorry to be so blunt Laura— then it all works differently. Does that make sense?"
"Have you any idea what you're doing to me?" For the first time since Julie came downstairs Anthony looked alert.
"Yes. I'm turning your nice predictable world upside down. I'm sorry about that, but it's about time. You know that, if all this hadn't happened last night you would have been bringing me flowers, feeding me chilli and strawberries and telling me how you wanted things to be different. Right?"
Anthony turned and walked back to the dining table.
"You're right about the food, I need to think, and I can't cope with all this and smelling that bacon."
The two women exchanges knowing looks and started putting food on plates. Pancakes, great bacon and maple syrup along with good coffee does a lot to mellow anyone, and it had the right effect on Anthony. As he finished his second pancake, he found the energy to say something.
"Yesterday I had an epiphany. I spent the evening by myself and had no idea what to do. I realised that there was no reason why I couldn't do what I always did, read papers and watch TV; but it didn't feel right. I needed you as well," he said, turning to Julie. "I needed you when you weren’t here, and yet when you are with me, I mostly ignore you. Crazy. Right?"
"But did you wish you were screwing me? Did you wish I was walking around the house naked, or in that leather corset, or tied to the dining table?"
"Is that what you want?"
"For the moment darling, we are talking about you, not me. I want to know what's going on in your head."
"But I just want to please you."
"I get that, but you don't notice me. What was I wearing the last night I was here?"
Anthony looked completely blank.
"We had apple pie and cream for dessert."
Still, the rabbit in the headlights look.
"Long silky, dark pink? Ring any bells?"
"Oh yeah. You looked amazing."
"What underwear?"
"You had a dress on."
"Bra line? Panty line?"
Anthony looked blank again. Laura giggled.
"I was naked underneath the dress. I snuggled up to you twice while I was serving the food."
There was a long silence.
"Get it?"
"I'm hopeless aren't I."
"Not exactly. You're fit, you have a lovely cock and a great mouth, and I love your brain."
"But you need more sex."
"Need is a tricky word. I like sex. I didn't get into the work I've been doing because I wasn't getting enough. It was an intellectual decision; a therapeutic decision. It was an accident at first. I had a client who seemed to need it, actually a woman. It seemed to work. I spent a lot of time afterwards thinking about it. There are lots of problems, ethics to think about, so I took down the psychology certificates and made it clear that I was up for whatever worked. I didn't screw people I fancied; I did it if I thought it would help them, but I did like doing it."
"So you wouldn't want to give it up?"
"It depends."
"On what?"
Julie glanced at Laura. "On a lot of things."
"What if I fucked them for you?"
Julie's eyes remained fixed on Anthony. "She's quick on the uptake isn't she."
"That's all it would take? Someone, to do that part of the work with your clients?"
"It’s much more complicated than that, but we could see what we could work out."
"Would you want me to fill the gap."
"The gap between my legs?"
Anthony looked shocked.
"Sorry, that was cruel," she said. "You mean you making up for the fun part of what I'd give up. Could you do that?"
Anthony visibly shrank, avoiding her eyes, looking at the table, staring at the remains of the maple syrup with his fork.
"I don't know."
"What do you think Laura, could he do that? How was he last night?"
"He was scared about cheating on you, so he needed a lot of work. Really he needs the kind of therapy you do. It's kind of funny isn't it— you've helped a load of couples and guys and yet not Anthony."
"She has tried," said Anthony, suddenly looking up and becoming animated. "I hadn't realised that I needed it."
"Why?"
Julie for a second didn't know which way to look. How much should she let Laura intrude? In that second she knew that she wasn't running this conversation, but nor were Anthony or Laura for that matter. She was thrown, looking at Laura and Anthony and seeing only questions and confusion.
"You mean why did I not realise?" he said.
"Yeah, well more than that," Laura said. "You're living with an amazing woman who's been running a successful practice sorting out other people's lives, and you didn't even know."
"I didn't know I needed anything."
"You didn't need anything darling," said Julie. "Need is the wrong word, but there was more you could have had. There still is. That's the point. It's my fault too. I could have told you what I was doing. I didn't because you were busy working hard and I didn't want to distract you, or at least that's what I told myself."
For a moment she looked at the two of them, expecting a question, but they were waiting for her to go on. She smiled.
"Is that really true? I can see the question in your eyes. Both of you. Of course, it's true, at least partially but it was also a convenient get out. I wasn't sure what I was doing, and I thought that if I talked about it, I'd have to stop."
"Why?" Laura asked, but Julie could see the same question in Anthony's face.
"We were younger, knew less, were less secure. If we'd discussed it, I think we would have decided the risks were too great, and anyway I didn't know what I was doing."
"But you wanted to find out?"
"Yes, and the only way to see where the road went was to go further down it. The further I went, the more I learned, but at the same time I watched you progress up the legal ladder, make more money, gain more status and security. The more I understood myself, the higher up you got. The elephant in the room got bigger, and the risk to you increased in step."
"Would you ever have told me?"
"I always meant to, when the time was right?"
"And when would that be?"
"Anthony love, I'm going to take that as curiosity, and not a backhanded criticism. You're entitled to be upset, but I've already apologised so I'll stick with the curiosity. Right?" She glanced at Anthony for a flash but kept going anyway. "If I'm cynical about myself, maybe I never would have told you; it was always easier not to tell, so why would I ever tell? I guess I always knew that some crisis might force it into the open, but I never imagined it being like yesterday."
She shrugged her shoulders, gave Anthony a wan smile. "I'd have had to own up if I'd bought a place in the sun somewhere, but I could have retired at the same time.
She sat a little straighter, squaring her shoulders. "I'm glad it's out in the open. Where this leads I don't know, but I do know I'll still love you."
"What do you think we should do?"
"It's not up to me. You're the one with a public reputation. I guess some media hacks may come looking for Angela, but that'll blow over. On the other hand, if word gets around that your wife is a whore…"
"My wife is a psychologist who handles sensitive cases."
"Yes, I know the line, I invented it, but can you carry it off now that you know? What would you do if it was an issue? Be serious."
"I could set up on my own, there's probably plenty of work that might come from what you do. I bet you don't cure all of them and even if you do, there's bound to be some that want legal advice or end up in court."
Julie almost fell forward from her seat, her head resting on her arms, her body shaking.
"What's the matter?"
"She's laughing."
Slowly the shaking stopped, and the sobbing chuckles subsided. "I never thought of that. Would you really do that?"
"Sure. I've thought about it often enough, maybe I needed a nudge."
"And you don't want to get rid of me?"
"Why would I?"
"I think it's called adultery."
"Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse."
"Yeah, that's the thing."
"If you were a porn star would it be adultery? That's voluntary."
"How many Lawyers do you know that are married to porn stars? They’re professional too, so it's kind of different."
"You looked very professional being Angela. Did you ever have sex with anyone without being paid?"
"Ah, the cross-examination. No, I guess not, unless you count Laura yesterday."
Laura leapt up, ran across the room and returned seconds later with her purse, dumping money onto the table."
"Share it between you," she said.
"One thing," said Anthony, "one question. How many guys have you actually had sex with?"
"Don’t be obsessed with that. You already asked me once. I said I didn't keep score, but if you want to add it up you can go through the records, you can watch all the videos if you like."
"You have them all?"
"That's the beauty of digital."
"And you'd let me see them all?"
"I expect my lawyer would expect you to sign something, you know like you can't invite your friends around."
Anthony smiled and for the first time started to look relaxed.
"All that's for another day," Julie said. "You’ve had a chance to digest your breakfast, and now you’re curious about my studio so if you’re not going to take Laura to bed…"
"Couldn't we go to your studio, you know, make it a proper session," said Laura.
Anthony held a hand up, almost like a schoolchild asking the teacher a question "Can I have one more question?"
"If you agree to come to the studio and do as you're told."
"And if I say yes I can still ask my question?"
"Of course. I’m not trying to shut you up, but in my studio, it’s my rules. Okay?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Okay."
"And the question is?"
"You said something about a place in the sun. Was that a hint? How much have you made from this? I've never seen accounts from your business. I have a phone number and an email, maybe I have an address somewhere, but all I've ever seen is a salary entry in our bank statement."
"A lawyer's question. Laura’s right, we should go there, and I can show you my accounts, and you can see everything."
"Roughly how much do you make?"
"Per-session? per year?"
"No," he said."How much have you accumulated altogether? Is it just what’s been paid into our account or more than that. From what you've paid into our account it doesn’t seem worth the risk."
Julie stopped for a moment, looked at the floor, sighed. "It’s rather more than that," she said. "I’ve been saving up, I was thinking it would be nice to have a holiday place, a ski flat or somewhere sunny, you know, so we could get away. You’re so busy I thought it would be good for you."
"So how much have you saved up," said Anthony, now sounding a little irritated.
"A lot is in shares so I can’t say exactly, I’d have to look up the valuations." She glanced at him for a second, a fleeting grin crept across her face, and she shrugged her shoulders. "The last time I checked it was more than half a million, Oh, plus the value of the studio property."
Anthony sat down again with a jolt, swallowed, ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head.
"I’m sorry, it’s one shock after another," she said.
"Half a million?"
“Plus the property, that’s probably as much again. I’m expensive, it’s been almost five years, and some of the shares have done well," her voice trailed off into silence.
"Bloody hell."
"Wow," said Laura.
Julie looked at the two of them, neither seemed ready to say anything more.
"We’d better dress," she said. "We could go to the studio like this, but even with my lawyer in the car it might be risky."
Anthony still sat, eyes closed, his face a blank.
Julie snuggled beside him on the sofa, put her arm around him and pulled him close.
"Darling," she said, "You really are a dyed in the wool lawyer, you’re more shocked about the money than anything else I’ve said."
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