Angel Beckys 1st time together
- 4 years ago
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Sad Perv’s 1st Times free porn video
I’ve been a wanker such a long time, it’s difficult to remember all my experiences. But the 1st Time Round always sticks in your mind, like the 1st Time I saw girls bare in magazines, the 1st Time I saw a girl pose for real, the 1st Time I spontaneously spunked in my underpants. These are some of my 1st Time Round experiences, to the best of my memory.
Go-go girls
Just thinking about skimpy-dressed girls dancing go-go sends shivers down my spine. I first saw this on Ready Steady Go! A pop programme from the 60s. Miss Sandy Sarjeant and Her two friends danced in very short skirts, showing their knix all the time, making me pants-spunk every time. I’d never seen anything like it – even though miniskirts were the fashion you had to be very lucky to get a flash of knix – and even in my favourite miniskirt mags where girls in the photos were dancing, it’s not quite the same.
It’s the early 70s and I’ve discovered go-go pubs. There were several in London, and in those days it was normal to wear a donkey jacket or other non-fashionable wear. My big green jacket, shabby, was long enough for me to get stiff unnoticed when I was out and about ogling girls, and it was fine to wear in the go-go pubs – in fact, I began to spot other pervs like me, just there to ogle the girls dancing, and wearing similar attire.
But the very 1st Time I saw a girl go-go dance for real was Miss Jenny in the Green Man. I’d read in the paper about these pubs that started laying this on, but there was no sign outside the pubs and I had trouble finding them. To be honest, I didn’t really believe I’d ever see go-go for real – sad pervs like me just weren’t meant to be that lucky. So when I saw Miss Jenny, there was no indication She was the dancer, or even that there was any dancing in this pub.
She was behind the bar, talking to a barman, and I thought She was a barmaid. In fact I didn’t think anything other than – sex-queen! She was wearing a purple micro-minidress that could only have been an inch or so below Her knix, and She was as leggy as all the girls in my Spick & Spans. These situations are always a problem, because I don’t know how long She’s going to be in sight – She could easily have gone through the door behind Her and been out of sight for – how long?
Obviously I’m not touching myself – this is before my mac-wanking days, I don’t even have holes in my pockets, but if She’s in sight long enough, She’ll easily make me cum in my underpants just looking. All I do is press gently against the bar (it’s painful to cum spontaneously with no pressure on your penis – I know), I don’t have to hump it, just press gently and ogle, and thankfully, She remains there for the next 2 or 3 minutes, long enough for Her to make me fill my underpants with perv-cum, in joyful, grateful perv ecstasy.
It’s rare that you get an uninterrupted sight of a skimpy-dressed girlie-goddess like that, it’s a special treat for a wanker like me. I subside, feeling the spunk-wetness soaking into my underpants and trousers, loving the feeling while my eyes are still on Her, seeing Her move and talk and laugh, toss Her blonde hair, change the position She’s standing in so I see Her shapely hips move. The minutes pass, and then I hear the DJ, at the front of the pub, make some sort of announcement, and a dancey-type record starts to play as Miss Jenny walks up to a podium at the end of the bar and starts to go-go dance, Her purple micro-minidress so short Her black knix show non-stop.
I don’t know how many times I saw Miss Jenny dance, or how many times She made me spunk in my underpants, but it was a lot. Every time I set off for the Green Man, I still didn’t believe I was actually going to see Her dance again – what if the motor broke down, what if there was no dancing there on this night, what if they wouldn’t let me in, and so on.
Then there was the time I turned up and there was no Miss Jenny any more – but there was Miss Carole.....who go-go danced....showing Her knickers in Her short skirts.....making Perv cum in his underpants. But that 1st Time I’ll never forget – I actually saw a lovely leggy blonde goddess dance in a short short dress and show Her knix, while I stood a few feet away, time after time after time, ogling in disbelief and pumping a whole load of spunk into my underpants in pure pervert ecstasy. Heaven.
Cumming in my pants looking at photos
I was doing a paper-round before school and saw these mags on the top shelf in the newsagents. I could see scantily-clad girls on the cover, but didn’t really know what to expect inside, I just knew I had to have some of those. So the 1st Time I secreted a Parade into my newspapers bag, and it wasn’t until lunchtime I had the opportunity to go to my room and look at it. There was a lot of writing in the magazine, and flicking the pages you suddenly come to a picture-spread, maybe two or three pages, and the centre pages are all of photos. This lovely girl was sitting on one of those cane-type chairs with a metal frame, wearing a skimpy outfit which She removed part of for the next photo, then the next.
I’d never seen a girl deliberately show all Her legginess and knickers like that, and at first I didn’t know what was happening to me as sensations built up in my willy, and then I was just wetting myself with cum, unbelievable feelings washing over me.
Of course that continued to happen every time I looked at photos, and later videos, and it still does to this very day. Every now and then, in what I call the golden age of mags in the 70s and 80s, when girls weren’t too exposed for me, along would come a new Goddess, and I’d be obsessed with Her for weeks, even months – Miss Danica, Miss Donna, Miss Lisa, Miss Stacey, and many many others.
If I knew She was in a mag I was buying, I’d be beside myself, desperate to get the mag back to my van for what I knew would be the exquisite ecstasy She’d give me as I ogled Her photos. During the next week or so, I’d gradually make my way through Her photo-set, cumming in my underpants on each page, so if it was a generous spread that might be 6 or even 7 wonderful pants-spunks.
...and – cumming in my pants in the shop the 1st Time....
When a girl gives you that sort of heavenly pleasure, you can see why I’m so utterly crazy about Her, wet-dreaming and everything. So to see Her on the cover as I’m pulling mags off the shelf to buy in my favourite dirty bookshops is like lighting the touch-paper. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised that time when, for the 1st Time, I saw the mag, saw Her on the cover, my heart jumps and my already-erect willy pulsates, I grab the mag and ogle it close-up, trying to get my head round Her pose, what She’s showing, and then my head and shoulders jerk forwards and She’s making me do it all in my underpants, in the middle of the shop, oblivious to anyone else around (rarely anyone in fact), before I’ve even bought the mag.
How I LOVED telling Miss Danica all about that years later when I was allowed to worship Her personally.
Bare girls on film
I often saw adverts for films with bare girls in them, either the ones you played on a home movie projector, or the ones they showed in cinemas. The cinemas were always in cities, and I’d have to make s special journey to go. That hurdle often stopped me doing things I’d have loved to do, but didn’t have the nerve to. I loved the ads and still collect them today whenever I see them, and I saw in my mags ads for Russ Meyer films, featuring bosomy bare girls.
I was living above a pub in the city then, so it was a short journey to the cinema and my lust overcame my nerves and off I went. How I wished I’d done this before, as I turned up at the kiosk in my dirty mac, looking like a perv, which I was and am. The girl took my money, obviously knowing that while they were showing this film She’d see a whole troop of dirty old men like me coming along to get their voyeur sex pleasure.
Obviously you’ve got strip clubs and other places like that – this was the early 80s – but usually pervs in dirty macs like me can’t go to those places, so seeing bare girls on film was very special - obviously as a solo-sex wanker bareness for real is not something you’ve got any sort of easy or regular access to.
So that 1st Time I’m sitting in the dark cinema in my mac, already getting stiff at the thought of seeing girls showing, and I can see dotted round are other pervs in macs or long coats or whatever. I imagine that over the next 90 minutes or so, while girls appear on screen in various states of undress, several perv penises will jump and ejaculate into underpants, their owners moaning softly under their breaths as the girls show and give them all the sex pleasure they need.
The film starts and the opening scenes show snatches of bareness as the plot plays out. I didn’t know what to expect but I’m hopeful girls will be on screen long enough for me to get my perv pleasure. The scenes change and suddenly there’s one in a petrol station and a girl emerges from the kiosk and saunters across the forecourt in this tied-up top, so bosomy I gasp. She walks, in a taunting sort of way, Her big bosoms swaying in that top and I’m trying to get my breath as knobby pumps and pumps and pumps into my underpants.
There were a few Russ Meyer films like that, I saw them all and always went home with wet pants, and things moved on with the liberalisation of cinema and the advent of VHS tapes. Nowadays I can go onto websites and track down films like the ‘nudie cuties’ from the 60s, girls like Miss Virginia Bell who did a strip on stage and wore those lovely tassels that meant I could see Her all but topless, see Her shape and how big She was but not see Her nipples, which for me is perfect.
But that very 1st Time I’ll never forget – and though that girl went topless later in the film, I only had to see Her cleavage for Her to make me do it all in my underpants.
The 1st Time seeing a girl pose for real.
1st Time Round memories stick, but this experience is ingrained in my mind like no other. I’ve told the story many times so I won’t repeat it, but just celebrate what for me was a life-changing experience- if it wasn’t for Miss Melanie, I may never have seen a girl pose. It was several 1st Times – seeing a girl pose, showing Her my case full of tissue-packed soiled dirty mags, cumming in my underpants and trousers in front of Her.
I was in my 40s and had dreamed for years of seeing a girl pose for real, and though I’d sometimes gone to somewhere where that was happening I could never go through with it. I’d told Miss Danica about this, because She used to do those seminars with Aunty Jayne from Escort magazine back in the 70s. I’d looked longingly at the photos from those sessions, seeing Miss Danica there posing in front of a crowd of blokes, I always imagined they’d be pervs like me – yes, one or two maybe normal blokes, keen photogs or whatever, but mostly pervs who only need to look.
Funny thing was, when I told Miss Danica I was too nervous to go, She said that’s a shame because Miss Jayne was very good with the nervous pervs, putting them at ease and so on. It was a fluke when I saw Miss Melanie pose, as my many stories on the subject explain. Pathetic really – She was a 19 year old nude and glamour model, who later I learnt was also an escort, I was a middle-aged inadequate wanker who’d only ever seen girls bare in his huge collection of magazines, and She gave me one of the most wonderful experiences of my life – posing with Her knix showing and making me spontaneously cum in my underpants right in front of Her.
So that 1st Time was surreal, but utterly unforgettable. I still worship Her to this day but haven’t seen Her in years and years.
1st Time spunking while watching a girl I knew (and secretly worshipped)
This was a girl from school, and I found if I was at my window at the right time – I spent every afternoon and evening at my widow watching girls walk by - I’d see Her walk along, and pull my foreskin back and watch till She made me spurt spunk. Every time I saw Her soon after doing that, I had the most delicious guilty feelings of perviness. Of course, though She was the 1st Time, this was something that I did many many times throughout my life, and still do if and when I get the opportunity. There’s something very special about getting totally pervy about a girl, dreaming about Her, wanking thinking about Her or ideally on photos/video of Her, then having to face Her. There’s no feeling like it. Girl-worship at its best.
Meeting a goddess from my magazines
This 1st Time doesn’t go down as one of the best, or even good in many ways, simply because I was so nervous all the time, and I’d not had the nerve to ask Her if I could bring worship sheets, my laptop, a video camera etc etc. That’s not to say it was a bad experience – it wasn’t, it was surreal.
I’d worshipped Miss Danica from the moment I first saw Her on the cover of Escort magazine in the late 80s. She was the girl who made me spunk in my underpants more than any other. I saw Her in mags and I saw Her photos online. Meeting Her was not something I ever thought could happen, but what I didn’t know was that She had a bunch of Her ‘chaps’ as She called them – obviously worshippers – that She said were like me, so I didn’t need to worry. I gather they were allowed similar Sessions too.
I thought that 1st Time meet was to be a just a photo-session, and I daren’t ask for anything else because of that. But I got some lovely photos and She was just lovely, so kind and understanding, - She knows the effect She has on us wankers and how in awe of Her we are.
The second and last time I saw Her I’d done the job right and laid the groundwork over the previous months, with worship sheets, stories and so on, and She was happy for me to bring a printed worship sheet, my laptop and video camera. And it was a proper Worship Session. Miss Leigh tells me how much Miss Danica laughed telling Her about the point in the Session when She came into the room in skimpy lingerie – barer than I’d ever seen a girl, at least close up, and when She posed in it, making me spunk into my underpants (which Miss Danica guessed She had). I was so gob-smacked I couldn’t speak, just gawp in disbelief.
So it came good in the end, and the lovely full Worship Session would not have happened without that 1st Time. Who’d have thought it?! Years of spunking my pants seeing Her magazines and then I see Her pose for real?! Mind-boggling!
1st Time falling in love – perv-love, not romantic love
Odd experience for a genuine perv. All you’ve done all your life is wank, or in my case cum in my underpants. You see a girl showing and unlike normal men, there’s no thought of approaching Her, no thought of chat-up or anything like that – all you can think of is a way of seeing Her, for long enough, to either rub yourself into pathetic perv ecstasy or, in my case, watch Her for long enough for Her to make me cum in my underpants. And I’ve been lucky enough to do that many, many, many times in my life.
Of course I’ve loved and worshipped all the goddesses in my magazines, films, videos, online who made me spunk my underpants. I never knew there was any other emotion until I met Her. I’d worshipped Her for 6 years already and knew somehow that this worship was different, but I couldn’t identify how, in what way it was different until I met Her. Even then, I was walking away afterwards before it dawned on me.
It wasn’t until the Internet era that I had any way of communicating with the girls I worshipped – apart from Miss Melanie – so it was a joy to email the girls online I worshipped, send worship sheets, poems, stories and lots of other things. Unlike face to face, it was a lot easier to say things in emails, and for the first time in my life I was able to tell girls how I worshipped them, how lovely their photos were and so on.
But even in emails, there were things I didn’t have the nerve to say, I was always so worried about causing offence, knowing that a goddess can cut you off just like that, and you’ve lost Her forever. So I used mechanisms like stories, ‘newspaper articles’ or even ‘Explicit Messages’ to convey the more controversial things. I was probably a bit paranoid about this, but back then things weren’t as open as they are now, at least not to every girl online, even if She did model nude.
So I used an ‘article’ in ‘Girl-Worship Weekly’ to tell Her about that experience. I used a publishing program to mock-up my imaginary newspaper and told the story of this timid perv meeting the Goddess he worshipped, and how he realised he’d fallen in love with Her, explaining the difference between ‘perv-love’ and normal love. I sent it to Her and She replied that it was a good thing, telling Her that way and about what a wonderful experience it was for me.
Over subsequent years of worship and worship material I told Her many times, and then, at the first full proper Worship Session I was allowed with Her, She said after watching one of my worship videos – “ohhhhh, Graham Wanker!” and laughed. I’m so glad that for once I was able to respond immediately, saying “Wanker loves you Miss”. Normally at Worship Sessions I’m so slow on the uptake, and can rarely think of the right thing to say, partly because it takes a while for it to sink in that She did actually say what She just said, and then not being sure how naughty or rude I can be in my response.
Later in that Worship Session She talks about my huge collection of Her photos on my laptop, not just from Her site but all the earlier ones I’ve found elsewhere online, and again I’m impressed that I just said on impulse “that’s how much I love you Miss.” She said “ahh” so nicely. Obviously I’m in awe of all girls that pose and show, and love them for it because without them, pervs like me would never get to see girls show. But having that feeling of being in love, alien though it is to solo-sex pervert wankers, is really special.
It doesn’t change anything else – all I want to do is look at Her, or Her photos and videos, and spunk my underpants, that’s all I need for my perv sex pleasure. But never before has what I feel for a goddess meant that I don’t cum looking at any other girl now, I worship Her to the exclusion of all others, and She knows that. She knows every detail of my worship of Her, I’ve told Her over and over using all sorts of different worship material, as well as in my emails.
I guess one difference is that I would happily be Her slave, be part of Her life in whatever way I could, but I never found a way to even broach the subject, apart from making it a theme of many of my worship sheets, but She would have seen that as just more fantasy.
That’s a really special 1st Time though, easily the best. Life-changing in fact. And persists to this day and forever.
Go-go girls
Just thinking about skimpy-dressed girls dancing go-go sends shivers down my spine. I first saw this on Ready Steady Go! A pop programme from the 60s. Miss Sandy Sarjeant and Her two friends danced in very short skirts, showing their knix all the time, making me pants-spunk every time. I’d never seen anything like it – even though miniskirts were the fashion you had to be very lucky to get a flash of knix – and even in my favourite miniskirt mags where girls in the photos were dancing, it’s not quite the same.
It’s the early 70s and I’ve discovered go-go pubs. There were several in London, and in those days it was normal to wear a donkey jacket or other non-fashionable wear. My big green jacket, shabby, was long enough for me to get stiff unnoticed when I was out and about ogling girls, and it was fine to wear in the go-go pubs – in fact, I began to spot other pervs like me, just there to ogle the girls dancing, and wearing similar attire.
But the very 1st Time I saw a girl go-go dance for real was Miss Jenny in the Green Man. I’d read in the paper about these pubs that started laying this on, but there was no sign outside the pubs and I had trouble finding them. To be honest, I didn’t really believe I’d ever see go-go for real – sad pervs like me just weren’t meant to be that lucky. So when I saw Miss Jenny, there was no indication She was the dancer, or even that there was any dancing in this pub.
She was behind the bar, talking to a barman, and I thought She was a barmaid. In fact I didn’t think anything other than – sex-queen! She was wearing a purple micro-minidress that could only have been an inch or so below Her knix, and She was as leggy as all the girls in my Spick & Spans. These situations are always a problem, because I don’t know how long She’s going to be in sight – She could easily have gone through the door behind Her and been out of sight for – how long?
Obviously I’m not touching myself – this is before my mac-wanking days, I don’t even have holes in my pockets, but if She’s in sight long enough, She’ll easily make me cum in my underpants just looking. All I do is press gently against the bar (it’s painful to cum spontaneously with no pressure on your penis – I know), I don’t have to hump it, just press gently and ogle, and thankfully, She remains there for the next 2 or 3 minutes, long enough for Her to make me fill my underpants with perv-cum, in joyful, grateful perv ecstasy.
It’s rare that you get an uninterrupted sight of a skimpy-dressed girlie-goddess like that, it’s a special treat for a wanker like me. I subside, feeling the spunk-wetness soaking into my underpants and trousers, loving the feeling while my eyes are still on Her, seeing Her move and talk and laugh, toss Her blonde hair, change the position She’s standing in so I see Her shapely hips move. The minutes pass, and then I hear the DJ, at the front of the pub, make some sort of announcement, and a dancey-type record starts to play as Miss Jenny walks up to a podium at the end of the bar and starts to go-go dance, Her purple micro-minidress so short Her black knix show non-stop.
I don’t know how many times I saw Miss Jenny dance, or how many times She made me spunk in my underpants, but it was a lot. Every time I set off for the Green Man, I still didn’t believe I was actually going to see Her dance again – what if the motor broke down, what if there was no dancing there on this night, what if they wouldn’t let me in, and so on.
Then there was the time I turned up and there was no Miss Jenny any more – but there was Miss Carole.....who go-go danced....showing Her knickers in Her short skirts.....making Perv cum in his underpants. But that 1st Time I’ll never forget – I actually saw a lovely leggy blonde goddess dance in a short short dress and show Her knix, while I stood a few feet away, time after time after time, ogling in disbelief and pumping a whole load of spunk into my underpants in pure pervert ecstasy. Heaven.
Cumming in my pants looking at photos
I was doing a paper-round before school and saw these mags on the top shelf in the newsagents. I could see scantily-clad girls on the cover, but didn’t really know what to expect inside, I just knew I had to have some of those. So the 1st Time I secreted a Parade into my newspapers bag, and it wasn’t until lunchtime I had the opportunity to go to my room and look at it. There was a lot of writing in the magazine, and flicking the pages you suddenly come to a picture-spread, maybe two or three pages, and the centre pages are all of photos. This lovely girl was sitting on one of those cane-type chairs with a metal frame, wearing a skimpy outfit which She removed part of for the next photo, then the next.
I’d never seen a girl deliberately show all Her legginess and knickers like that, and at first I didn’t know what was happening to me as sensations built up in my willy, and then I was just wetting myself with cum, unbelievable feelings washing over me.
Of course that continued to happen every time I looked at photos, and later videos, and it still does to this very day. Every now and then, in what I call the golden age of mags in the 70s and 80s, when girls weren’t too exposed for me, along would come a new Goddess, and I’d be obsessed with Her for weeks, even months – Miss Danica, Miss Donna, Miss Lisa, Miss Stacey, and many many others.
If I knew She was in a mag I was buying, I’d be beside myself, desperate to get the mag back to my van for what I knew would be the exquisite ecstasy She’d give me as I ogled Her photos. During the next week or so, I’d gradually make my way through Her photo-set, cumming in my underpants on each page, so if it was a generous spread that might be 6 or even 7 wonderful pants-spunks.
...and – cumming in my pants in the shop the 1st Time....
When a girl gives you that sort of heavenly pleasure, you can see why I’m so utterly crazy about Her, wet-dreaming and everything. So to see Her on the cover as I’m pulling mags off the shelf to buy in my favourite dirty bookshops is like lighting the touch-paper. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised that time when, for the 1st Time, I saw the mag, saw Her on the cover, my heart jumps and my already-erect willy pulsates, I grab the mag and ogle it close-up, trying to get my head round Her pose, what She’s showing, and then my head and shoulders jerk forwards and She’s making me do it all in my underpants, in the middle of the shop, oblivious to anyone else around (rarely anyone in fact), before I’ve even bought the mag.
How I LOVED telling Miss Danica all about that years later when I was allowed to worship Her personally.
Bare girls on film
I often saw adverts for films with bare girls in them, either the ones you played on a home movie projector, or the ones they showed in cinemas. The cinemas were always in cities, and I’d have to make s special journey to go. That hurdle often stopped me doing things I’d have loved to do, but didn’t have the nerve to. I loved the ads and still collect them today whenever I see them, and I saw in my mags ads for Russ Meyer films, featuring bosomy bare girls.
I was living above a pub in the city then, so it was a short journey to the cinema and my lust overcame my nerves and off I went. How I wished I’d done this before, as I turned up at the kiosk in my dirty mac, looking like a perv, which I was and am. The girl took my money, obviously knowing that while they were showing this film She’d see a whole troop of dirty old men like me coming along to get their voyeur sex pleasure.
Obviously you’ve got strip clubs and other places like that – this was the early 80s – but usually pervs in dirty macs like me can’t go to those places, so seeing bare girls on film was very special - obviously as a solo-sex wanker bareness for real is not something you’ve got any sort of easy or regular access to.
So that 1st Time I’m sitting in the dark cinema in my mac, already getting stiff at the thought of seeing girls showing, and I can see dotted round are other pervs in macs or long coats or whatever. I imagine that over the next 90 minutes or so, while girls appear on screen in various states of undress, several perv penises will jump and ejaculate into underpants, their owners moaning softly under their breaths as the girls show and give them all the sex pleasure they need.
The film starts and the opening scenes show snatches of bareness as the plot plays out. I didn’t know what to expect but I’m hopeful girls will be on screen long enough for me to get my perv pleasure. The scenes change and suddenly there’s one in a petrol station and a girl emerges from the kiosk and saunters across the forecourt in this tied-up top, so bosomy I gasp. She walks, in a taunting sort of way, Her big bosoms swaying in that top and I’m trying to get my breath as knobby pumps and pumps and pumps into my underpants.
There were a few Russ Meyer films like that, I saw them all and always went home with wet pants, and things moved on with the liberalisation of cinema and the advent of VHS tapes. Nowadays I can go onto websites and track down films like the ‘nudie cuties’ from the 60s, girls like Miss Virginia Bell who did a strip on stage and wore those lovely tassels that meant I could see Her all but topless, see Her shape and how big She was but not see Her nipples, which for me is perfect.
But that very 1st Time I’ll never forget – and though that girl went topless later in the film, I only had to see Her cleavage for Her to make me do it all in my underpants.
The 1st Time seeing a girl pose for real.
1st Time Round memories stick, but this experience is ingrained in my mind like no other. I’ve told the story many times so I won’t repeat it, but just celebrate what for me was a life-changing experience- if it wasn’t for Miss Melanie, I may never have seen a girl pose. It was several 1st Times – seeing a girl pose, showing Her my case full of tissue-packed soiled dirty mags, cumming in my underpants and trousers in front of Her.
I was in my 40s and had dreamed for years of seeing a girl pose for real, and though I’d sometimes gone to somewhere where that was happening I could never go through with it. I’d told Miss Danica about this, because She used to do those seminars with Aunty Jayne from Escort magazine back in the 70s. I’d looked longingly at the photos from those sessions, seeing Miss Danica there posing in front of a crowd of blokes, I always imagined they’d be pervs like me – yes, one or two maybe normal blokes, keen photogs or whatever, but mostly pervs who only need to look.
Funny thing was, when I told Miss Danica I was too nervous to go, She said that’s a shame because Miss Jayne was very good with the nervous pervs, putting them at ease and so on. It was a fluke when I saw Miss Melanie pose, as my many stories on the subject explain. Pathetic really – She was a 19 year old nude and glamour model, who later I learnt was also an escort, I was a middle-aged inadequate wanker who’d only ever seen girls bare in his huge collection of magazines, and She gave me one of the most wonderful experiences of my life – posing with Her knix showing and making me spontaneously cum in my underpants right in front of Her.
So that 1st Time was surreal, but utterly unforgettable. I still worship Her to this day but haven’t seen Her in years and years.
1st Time spunking while watching a girl I knew (and secretly worshipped)
This was a girl from school, and I found if I was at my window at the right time – I spent every afternoon and evening at my widow watching girls walk by - I’d see Her walk along, and pull my foreskin back and watch till She made me spurt spunk. Every time I saw Her soon after doing that, I had the most delicious guilty feelings of perviness. Of course, though She was the 1st Time, this was something that I did many many times throughout my life, and still do if and when I get the opportunity. There’s something very special about getting totally pervy about a girl, dreaming about Her, wanking thinking about Her or ideally on photos/video of Her, then having to face Her. There’s no feeling like it. Girl-worship at its best.
Meeting a goddess from my magazines
This 1st Time doesn’t go down as one of the best, or even good in many ways, simply because I was so nervous all the time, and I’d not had the nerve to ask Her if I could bring worship sheets, my laptop, a video camera etc etc. That’s not to say it was a bad experience – it wasn’t, it was surreal.
I’d worshipped Miss Danica from the moment I first saw Her on the cover of Escort magazine in the late 80s. She was the girl who made me spunk in my underpants more than any other. I saw Her in mags and I saw Her photos online. Meeting Her was not something I ever thought could happen, but what I didn’t know was that She had a bunch of Her ‘chaps’ as She called them – obviously worshippers – that She said were like me, so I didn’t need to worry. I gather they were allowed similar Sessions too.
I thought that 1st Time meet was to be a just a photo-session, and I daren’t ask for anything else because of that. But I got some lovely photos and She was just lovely, so kind and understanding, - She knows the effect She has on us wankers and how in awe of Her we are.
The second and last time I saw Her I’d done the job right and laid the groundwork over the previous months, with worship sheets, stories and so on, and She was happy for me to bring a printed worship sheet, my laptop and video camera. And it was a proper Worship Session. Miss Leigh tells me how much Miss Danica laughed telling Her about the point in the Session when She came into the room in skimpy lingerie – barer than I’d ever seen a girl, at least close up, and when She posed in it, making me spunk into my underpants (which Miss Danica guessed She had). I was so gob-smacked I couldn’t speak, just gawp in disbelief.
So it came good in the end, and the lovely full Worship Session would not have happened without that 1st Time. Who’d have thought it?! Years of spunking my pants seeing Her magazines and then I see Her pose for real?! Mind-boggling!
1st Time falling in love – perv-love, not romantic love
Odd experience for a genuine perv. All you’ve done all your life is wank, or in my case cum in my underpants. You see a girl showing and unlike normal men, there’s no thought of approaching Her, no thought of chat-up or anything like that – all you can think of is a way of seeing Her, for long enough, to either rub yourself into pathetic perv ecstasy or, in my case, watch Her for long enough for Her to make me cum in my underpants. And I’ve been lucky enough to do that many, many, many times in my life.
Of course I’ve loved and worshipped all the goddesses in my magazines, films, videos, online who made me spunk my underpants. I never knew there was any other emotion until I met Her. I’d worshipped Her for 6 years already and knew somehow that this worship was different, but I couldn’t identify how, in what way it was different until I met Her. Even then, I was walking away afterwards before it dawned on me.
It wasn’t until the Internet era that I had any way of communicating with the girls I worshipped – apart from Miss Melanie – so it was a joy to email the girls online I worshipped, send worship sheets, poems, stories and lots of other things. Unlike face to face, it was a lot easier to say things in emails, and for the first time in my life I was able to tell girls how I worshipped them, how lovely their photos were and so on.
But even in emails, there were things I didn’t have the nerve to say, I was always so worried about causing offence, knowing that a goddess can cut you off just like that, and you’ve lost Her forever. So I used mechanisms like stories, ‘newspaper articles’ or even ‘Explicit Messages’ to convey the more controversial things. I was probably a bit paranoid about this, but back then things weren’t as open as they are now, at least not to every girl online, even if She did model nude.
So I used an ‘article’ in ‘Girl-Worship Weekly’ to tell Her about that experience. I used a publishing program to mock-up my imaginary newspaper and told the story of this timid perv meeting the Goddess he worshipped, and how he realised he’d fallen in love with Her, explaining the difference between ‘perv-love’ and normal love. I sent it to Her and She replied that it was a good thing, telling Her that way and about what a wonderful experience it was for me.
Over subsequent years of worship and worship material I told Her many times, and then, at the first full proper Worship Session I was allowed with Her, She said after watching one of my worship videos – “ohhhhh, Graham Wanker!” and laughed. I’m so glad that for once I was able to respond immediately, saying “Wanker loves you Miss”. Normally at Worship Sessions I’m so slow on the uptake, and can rarely think of the right thing to say, partly because it takes a while for it to sink in that She did actually say what She just said, and then not being sure how naughty or rude I can be in my response.
Later in that Worship Session She talks about my huge collection of Her photos on my laptop, not just from Her site but all the earlier ones I’ve found elsewhere online, and again I’m impressed that I just said on impulse “that’s how much I love you Miss.” She said “ahh” so nicely. Obviously I’m in awe of all girls that pose and show, and love them for it because without them, pervs like me would never get to see girls show. But having that feeling of being in love, alien though it is to solo-sex pervert wankers, is really special.
It doesn’t change anything else – all I want to do is look at Her, or Her photos and videos, and spunk my underpants, that’s all I need for my perv sex pleasure. But never before has what I feel for a goddess meant that I don’t cum looking at any other girl now, I worship Her to the exclusion of all others, and She knows that. She knows every detail of my worship of Her, I’ve told Her over and over using all sorts of different worship material, as well as in my emails.
I guess one difference is that I would happily be Her slave, be part of Her life in whatever way I could, but I never found a way to even broach the subject, apart from making it a theme of many of my worship sheets, but She would have seen that as just more fantasy.
That’s a really special 1st Time though, easily the best. Life-changing in fact. And persists to this day and forever.
Mikhaela
- 02.10.2021
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