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“I love you, Beth. I love you."

The sudden awareness of the time snaps out of my daydream. Three years ago, Mark Taylor told me he loved me and became the first boy to say those three magic words to me.

We lasted two years together, braving the perils of a long-distance relationship with me in Boston and him in Chicago. Before the summer of 2012 kicked in, Mark was offered a prestigious internship in a law firm in Hong Kong and accepted it without telling me.

The last time I saw him was when I left his college dorm in tears, with the heavy thought in my heart that he obviously didn’t care enough for me to tell me his decision.

As I put on my make-up, I look at the invite to my high-school reunion on my table. The sparkling glitter on the invite doesn’t brighten up the idea of me mingling with people that have moved on with their lives.

A knock on the door distracts my attention.

“Beth? Are you ready?” my sister Sarah asks, poking her head around the door.

“Getting there,” I sigh with a sad smile.

“What’s up?” she asks, catching my mood and sitting on the end of my bed.

“Part of me doesn’t want to go. It’s just going to be crap,” I confess, turning around to face her.

“How do you know that? Your friends will be there."

“I know, it’s just…it’s at the hotel by the marina."

Her eyes straighten with realisation. She knows the significance of the hotel in question.

“Are you worried that he will be there?” she asks gently.

Shaking my head, I look at my knotted hands.

“I doubt it, he's probably living the high life in the Far East."

Sighing, Sarah takes my hands and rubs them softly.

“Hey, don’t dwell on the past. I know how important he was to you but he shouldn’t stop you from enjoying yourself. Now put on that dress and get ready. I’ll prep the car,” she smiles, nodding at the short midnight blue dress with a cutout back laid out on my bed.

Smiling back, I feel relieved by her words.

“Thanks, sis."

******************************

An hour here and I am already wishing I had stayed at home. The hotel is tastefully decorated and there are boards with our high school profiles on them. All my former classmates are laughing and drinking merrily, but I notice that they are mainly couples.

I mingle with my old friends but as soon as they start talking about diapers and real estate, I feel empty, like I don’t belong here. Making my excuses, I grab my champagne glass to be refilled. As soon as I have been served at the bar, I notice an open patio door that leads out to the balcony overlooking the marina.

Taking a breath, I walk out and deeply inhale the salty tang in the air. The balcony is deserted and I am thankful - if I had to see those former jocks smoking cigars and talk about their size of their business portfolios, I would go nuts.

Reaching the edge, I lean on the railing and look over the marina. The sun has already started to go down, making the sky a summer-set orange. Looking at the champagne glass in my hand, a sense of deja vu comes to mind. I have a sharp memory of senior prom all those years ago. That was when Mark invited me to spend the night with him. The night I lost my virginity. The night I fell in love with him.

My hair blows gently down my back, the sea-tingled breeze hits my senses and sadness overcomes me. I bite my lip to stop myself crying and with a couple of deep breaths, I manage to regain my composure but my moment of calm is interrupted.

“Reminiscing?”

Hearing it, I tense up. He isn’t supposed to be here. I idly think it is my imagination, a deep hope that a dream is coming true tempting me but closing my eyes, I force myself to take a breath and remind myself that he isn’t here.

“Well?” the same deep voice asks me.

My palms begin to sweat as I realise that he is actually here. Moistening my lips, I grip onto the railing edge to resist the urge to slap him.

“What if I am? You should know that I’m a sucker for sentimentality,” I reply, keeping my back to him.

“I remember. It’s one of the things I love about you,” he replies and from the volume of his voice, I realise he is standing right behind me.

I tense up at the sound of the L-word coming from him but before I can move away, I feel him gently take a strand of my hair in his fingertips.

“Just as soft as I remember. You’ve grown it longer.”

“Haircuts aren’t cheap and I’m unemployed,” I bitterly say, still looking into my champagne glass.

“It looks great,” he says, moving next to me. I feel him looking at me, catching the sight of a near-empty tumbler of bourbon in his hand in the corner of my eye.

“I thought you were in Hong Kong?"

“I came back earlier today. How could I pass up my high school reunion?” he says.

I keep my eyes down, fearing what will happen if I look at him so I start to turn away to avoid his gaze.

“Beth, come on, please look at me,” he asks with a hint of frustration.

Sighing, I realise he isn’t going anywhere. Downing my glass, I turn to look at him and my breath catches in my throat.

Mark Taylor is dressed in a dark suit and white shirt, his hair slightly longer but his eyes are still piercingly green. A warm smile graces his sculpted lips and I awkwardly smile back.

“Hi,” he gently says, taking my hand before I can snatch it away.

“Hey,” I barely whisper. I watch him kiss the back of my hand, keeping it close to him.

I don’t make an effort to pull it away. I want to be hopeful, as sad as it sounds, that he still thinks about me.

“How have you been?” I ask.

“Busy, y’know,” he wistfully replies.

“Not really,” I shrug, causing him to smile.

“I’ve missed your wit,” he remarks but his warmth feels wrong, even after all this time.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” I murmur, looking down at my feet.

“Why not?” he asks, stroking the side of my hand with his thumb.

“It just gives me hope.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being hopeful. You look beautiful,” he admires me.

“Thank you,” I manage to smile, causing him to tilt my chin up so I can see his returning smile.

“Gets me every time,” he murmurs, stroking my chin with his thumb.

“How’s life in Hong Kong?” I ask with curiosity, trying to distract the conversation. Even with my ABC roots, I have never been. My heart drops as his smile falters slightly.

“Honestly, it’s really lonely."

“Really?” I mumble, trying to ignore the fact that he comes closer towards me.

“The truth is, I miss you,” he murmurs but his endearing tone touches a nerve inside me.

“Don’t, Mark,” I say, my smile dropping.

“What? Tell the truth? It’s me you’re talking to.” His gentle coaxing riles me up, causing me to look him square in the eye.

“That is precisely why I am being this way,” I almost snap.

His warm smile also disappears, only to be replaced with a look of frustration. Running his hand through his hair, he fidgets with his tie to loosen his knot and I begin to feel warm. It is indeed deja vu.

He catches my eye and something about me must have given it away. Drinking the slither of liquor left in his glass, he takes a deep breath.

“Beth…can we go back to my place? I want to talk,” he asks, putting a hand softly on my elbow.

“I don’t think dredging up the past is very wise,” I start, trying to move away but Mark tightens his hold to keep me close to him.

“Please? I just want to be with you for a little while,” he pleads, moving his hand to cup my face so I am looking into his eyes.

I wanted to avoid this, the awkwardness of a reunion that seemed too good to be true. But Mark knows me so well and no matter how hard I try and remind myself that he was the one who broke us up, I cannot resist.

“Okay,” I nod.

**************

Mark’s studio apartment surprises me. A converted warehouse, his place is surrounded by exposed brick and it is minimally decorated. A white sofa faces a flat-screen TV on the wall, while behind it is a huge, king-sized bed with white sheets with a thin curtain of muslin acting as a separator.

Looking around, I see the kitchen to the side of the bed and the bathroom behind it.

“How come you didn’t stay with your parents?” I say as he heads off to the kitchen.

“As much as I love them, I didn't want to face the constant questions,” he replies.

“Questions?"

“You know, 'have I met anyone?' 'When are you coming home?' 'Are you eating enough?’ The usual stuff.”

“No, I mean - why do you have your own place if you live in another country?” I ask, curious.

Mark turns to me as he shrugs off his tie I cannot hide the loud swallow from my throat at the sight.

“Dunno, investment, I guess,” he shrugs.

Crinkling my eyebrows at his comment, I take off my heels and feel the heated, laminated floor underneath my feet and glance up to see Mark taking off his tie and jacket and placing them on an armchair by the bed. Everything seems like a twisted memory come to life. Is Mark trying to relive prom night? His voice distracts me.

“Would you like some wine? I have rosé,” he asks, knowing that I preferred that to white or red wines.

“Please,” I reply, heading to the window where there is a small balcony.

I open the doors and look out to the view of the town. It is a quiet evening and now that the sun has set, I can see the streetlights in the twilight sky. It is peaceful and the moon is shining brightly in the navy abyss.

He reappears next to me, handing over a glass of clear pink wine.

“Thank you,” I say, taking a sip. I let the alcohol sit on my tongue and allow the fruitiness of it glide down my throat.

“You’re welcome."

“I hope you didn’t leave the reunion on my account,” I awkwardly say.

“No, it’s fine. Besides, everyone seemed to be having a good time,” he said.

I look into my glass, knowing that feeling all too well - of everyone moving on ahead of me.

“I saw Ben there,” I quietly say, referring to my former BFF and the boy who I thought would be in my life forever.

“So did I,” Mark says, his tone hardening slightly.

“Have you spoken to him since prom?"

Looking up, there is a look of expectancy in his eyes. I smile at the assumption.

“He emailed a couple of times and met up for coffee, but nothing really recovered from that night. Besides, he has his wife to make him happy."

“I would say I’m sorry to hear that but that would be a lie,” he smiles, causing me to smile in return.

“I appreciate your honesty,” I softly say, taking a sip of wine.

"So, how have you been?” he asks. His question causes my smile to falter, which he immediately picks up on and straightens up ever-so-slightly.

“Fine. Considering,” I start, walking further onto the balcony to sit on the comfy chairs on the deck. He joins me on the chair next to me.

“Considering what?”

“My mom had an accident shortly after I graduated,” I reply. Mark’s face falls, moving to sit closer to me.

“Oh, Beth. I’m really sorry - what happened?"

“A drunk driver crashed into her and broke her leg. She got stuck in a wheelchair and couldn’t go back to work, so I moved back home to take care of her."

“How is she now?"

“She is okay, thanks. She is out of the wheelchair but I haven’t been able to find work. No-one wants to hire a graduated psychologist,” I add, saddened.

“I’m really sorry to hear that,” he says, before moving to sit a little closer towards me.

“Are you… seeing anyone?"

My eyes dart up, surprised at the question. Part of me wants to lie out of spite but in the end, I realise that wouldn’t change anything.

“No, not really. My mom has taken up most of my time. Tonight was the first night away I’ve had in months."

“I see,” he starts, sitting back.

Taking a deep breath, I steel myself for my next question.

“Yourself?"

Looking at me, he drinks the remains of his glass and places it on the table in front of us.

“No. I have dated but…there is no-one special in my life right now,” he murmurs.

“I would have thought that you have settled down with someone by now."

“Yeah, well - I thought the same. Maybe I should have settled down with someone a long time ago,” he adds wistfully, before turning his gaze directly at me.

Those green eyes pierce right through me and I cannot hide the thumping beat of my heart. Desperate to break his gaze, I quickly drink the rest of my wine and placing the glass on the table, stand to move by the edge of the balcony.

“Beth, are you okay?” he gently asks, standing up to move next to me.

“Yes, I am fine,” I practically snap but I am anything but. He is bringing up the emotions I thought were done and dusted and it is starting to cause havoc in my mind.

"Why did we break up?” he says, shuffling so that he is touching me. My side feels like it is burning from touching him.

"You know why," I whisper.

"Remind me," he murmurs, turning towards me.

“Because you chose to move to another country without telling me," I say, treading lightly on my temper.

“Because you would have stopped me.”

Raising my eyebrows, I take a deep breath and turn to directly face him.

“You don’t know that! I was your girlfriend and you didn’t even consider asking me!”

“If I were to have declined it, I would have regretted it...” he starts but in light of his feeble excuses, I am just getting started.

“So you chose to cut me off without working things out?"

"You're putting words into my mouth," he angrily snaps back but I stand firm.

“No, Mark. Let’s be honest, you saw me as a fling to get you through the first years of college and then you found something more worthy of your time, you didn't want to be tied down to anyone."

“That’s not true…” he starts.

"I wanted us to have time with each other, but instead, you destroyed us and broke my heart!” I shout.

His eyes widen at the strength of my anger and I can no longer stand his shocked stare. I quickly move away as tears well up in my eyes, leaving him by the balcony railing to go back into the warmth of the apartment, but that doesn’t stop me hug myself to stop shaking.

“I cried for months after you left. You made me miserable. I hated you for tainting every happy memory you had of us,” I murmur, keeping my back to him.

“Beth, stop, please,” he starts, but I spin round, allowing him to see my anger and the devastation on my face. He looks fearful and panicked but I refuse to back down.

“No, you don’t understand! Do you know what it's like to love someone who doesn’t want you?” I sob. Mark’s expression sobers as he sadly looks down, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I am getting a clear idea now,” he breathes. His confession stuns me.

“What?”

He looks up and I see his eyes reddened with unshed tears. Rubbing his face in frustration, he exhales sharply.

“I made a mistake,” he gruffly says.

"What do you mean?" I say, hugging myself.

Without a word, his expression becomes heated and determined before moving towards me. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I have to remind myself to be strong - I need to leave.

“No," I say, taking a step back.

"Let me explain," he starts but I put my hands up.

“It’s too late,” I shakily say, causing him to stop.

“What? No…” he starts, his face falling.

Feeling the tears welling up in my eyes, I grab my shoes, not having the time to put them on, turn away and speed walk towards the door.

“Beth, please don’t go!” his anguished voice echoes in my ears. Ignoring him, I hastily turn the handle to open the door.

“No!” he firmly says, reaching me quick enough to push the door closed.

“Let me go, Mark,” I murmur, my hand trying to pull the door. I need to leave, if only to avoid him seeing me start to cry.

“No…no, I beg you; please stay with me,” he whispers, keeping the door fully closed while caging me with his arm. If only I was a little stronger.

“Why should I?"

“Because if you walk out this door, you’ll walk out of my life forever and I can't let that happen."

“You never called or emailed me, I’m no longer in your life,” I retort, my hand tightening around the handle.

“Then just give me a chance to make that right!” he quickly says, catching my hand and pressing it on my stomach, so he pulls me against him. I breathe in a sharp breath from the feel of his strong body. So warm and comforting, my anger and hesitation is the only thing stopping me from my knees giving way.

“Please, Beth."

I can feel his deep breaths by my ear and the slight bulge by my back. He smells so good, my mouth begins to water. Biting my lip to stop it trembling, I solemnly drop my shoes by the door.

“Baby, turn around, please. I need to look at you,” he pleads, brushing his nose by my hair.

Closing my eyes, I slowly do so. I feel his fingers across my cheek but I am so angry that I flinch away.

"God, I'm sorry. Please open your eyes," he asks, but I don't.

“No, I can't,” I whisper, shaking my head. I hear a small groan as he tenderly cups my face, causing me to gasp.

“I miss you so damn much,” he breathes, stepping closer to me so my back is pressed against the door. I can tell he is upset, close to tears, and the tone of his voice saddens me.

"I didn’t even expect to see you at the reunion and I was about to leave when I saw you on the balcony. You were just standing there, the wind blowing your hair, looking out to the marina…it looked like you were waiting for me, like I was given a second chance. Being with you again just proves to me that you are irreplaceable.”

“Why are you saying these things?" I whisper, trying to get him to move his hands from my face but he doesn’t.

"You know why."

"No, Mark. I really don't," I tearfully say. I need to hear why, if only to reassure my dwelling insecurities. My breathing becomes shaky as I feel his lips press against my forehead.

"It’s because I am still hopelessly in love with you."

My heart stops. He actually said it. Surely that can’t be right - it sounds wrong. I don’t want him to say those words while he is forcing me to stay.

"Mark, no…” I weep, shaking my head.

"It's true. I am still in love with you, Beth. It's always been you,” he whispers, resting his forehead on mine while cupping the back of my head to keep me close.

"I went away so I could get a career and make something of myself. I wanted to build up a life for me...for us. But it's meaningless without you. I need you, Beth."

“You can have anyone, I don’t understand,” I murmur.

“I dated loads of women in Hong Kong to get my mind off you; they were stunning, loaded or successful-"

“God, stop!” I tearfully whisper, but Mark pulls me in closer.

“But none of them smiled for me. Whenever they smiled, it was for everyone else in the room. Their smiles were never mine."

Unable to contain my emotions, I cannot stop the tears spilling out of my eyes, blinking them away to stop them pooling. His thumb softly catches one, sweeping across my cheek before running across my quivering lip.

“What do you want?” I finally ask, bravely opening my eyes to look at his wide-eyed expression.

“For a long time, I wanted someone to smile like you did. But everyone else paled in comparison. That’s when I realised that I only want to see your smile. That’s when I realised how much I love you."

I shakily breathe, biting my lip to control my sobs. Mark’s eyes gaze over my tear-streaked face, before running the backs of his fingers across my cheek. He straightens and steps slightly back, giving me a little more room to breathe. He holds my face in his hands but I keep my eyes down. I cannot look at him.

“I’m going to ask you a couple of things and if you say no again, I promise you can leave and you'll never hear from me again,” he says.

“Go ahead,” I murmur.

“Have you thought of me while we've been apart?” he quietly asks. I nod gently.

“Do you miss me?” he asks, moving closer to me.

Moistening my chapped lips, my voice comes out as a hoarse whisper.

“Yes.” By now, we are so close that I can feel the heat radiating from him. He smells like body wash and that clean, sharp cologne that never fails to intoxicates me.

“Do you…Beth, do you still love me?” he whispers.

A sharp breath escapes me as I look up to his face. His eyes are now closed, yet I can see him silently begging. Don't say no, don't say no.

"Why are you crying?" I ask, running a fingertip to gently wipe a tear away.

"Because I am scared of what will become of me if you walk out of that door," he whispers.

"Open your eyes, Mark," I gently ask, softly caressing his wrists.

He does so and I meet his darkened gaze. The hope and anxiety etched in his face emboldens me, knowing that I cannot deny what has been in my heart for all these years.

“Of course I still love you. Being with you is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

His expression changes slightly to become warmer, more affectionate. His anxiety all but disappears but I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. But my insecurities cause me to deny what is in my heart.

“But we cannot be together."

His smile fades instantly.

“Why not?"

“I have to put my family first. They need me and we’re in two different countries. Two different worlds - I don’t belong in yours. Not anymore."

“Beth, don’t do this-“ he starts, desperately, but I shake my head.

“No,” I whisper and with that tiny word, my heart breaks. I will myself to look at Mark and it kills me to see the devastation on his face. Nodding, he gives me a hard kiss on my forehead before letting me go and steps back.

“Okay. Let me take you home,” he murmurs.

*************

It is one in the morning and I am lying on my bed in shorts and a vest, still milling over Mark’s words in my head. We didn’t say anything in the taxi and he didn’t try to strike up a conversation. As I say goodbye to him and go into my house, I feel my soul breaking with my heart, with the knowledge that I have turned him away.

I can’t believe he said he still loves me - how is that possible? As much as I want a future with him, I have to disregard my feelings to save myself the heartbreak of a ill-fated, long-distance relationship.

A gentle knock on my door disrupts my thoughts.

“Beth?” It is my mom but I stay still. I don’t want her to see my tear-blotched face.

“Are you okay? You haven't said anything since you got back,” she gently asks, coming into my room and sitting on the edge of the bed. I turn around to immediately help her, but she manages to get in without stumbling.

“I’m sorry I didn’t check in on you-“ I start but she stops me, instantly seeing my face.

“Honey, have you been crying? What happened?"

Unable to keep my tears, I find myself laying my head on her lap and sobbing as I recount the whole evening. How Mark and I met up and what he said. All the while, she remains quiet, stroking my hair slightly as I cry.

After a while, she strokes my cheek to wipe the tears away.

“Sweetie, why did you say you couldn’t be with him?"

“I…I thought it was best,” I whisper.

“You are the most honest person I know, but not speaking your heart - that’s not like you,” she says, sweeping my hair behind my ear.

“I can’t be with him, Mom,” I start, sitting up to defiantly wipe away the tears that won’t stop falling.

“You need me and I can’t be with him while he’s in another country, hanging out with people who are better than I am."

“Now you stop right there,” my mom says in a such a firm voice, it startles me.

“You have always put yourself down and prioritised other people all your life, and it pisses me off."

“Mom!"

“I know you love him, you wouldn’t be crying so badly otherwise."

“But-"

“You have one life, Bethany, you need to live it,” she urges me, and seeing as she calls me by my first full name, she is serious.

“But…what do I do? I’ve screwed this up,” I say sadly, looking down.

“Then go over there and sort it out. Talk, fight or…do whatever you need to do. Be happy, sweetheart - that’s all I ever want for you,” she smiles.

Looking at her serious expression, I realise what she is saying. Looking back at my life, I have never experienced real happiness until Mark. Taking a deep breath, I immediately put on my trainers and my zipped hooded sweatshirt.

“Okay. Call me if you need me,” I quickly say, kissing my mom’s cheek before dashing downstairs.

“We won’t, don’t worry!” she jokingly shouts.

************

Racing my bike to Mark’s apartment block, I am wheezing by the time I get to his place. Locking it at the bike rack, I try and catch my breath and calm my fiercely beating heart before going into the building.

As I reach his door, my heart is still beating really fast. I try and take a couple of deep breaths but nothing relaxes me.

Here goes nothing, I think and knock on the door.

Silence.

Taking another deep breath, I knock a little harder.

Silence again.

But I soon hear the chain being pulled back and I see Mark’s dishevelled face. He is wearing his suit shirt and trousers but his bloodshot eyes widen at me. I can’t tell if he has been crying or if he is just jetlagged.

“Beth, what are you doing here?” he quietly asks.

“I’m sorry for coming here so late but I need to talk to you. Can I please come in?” I nervously ask, twisting my fingers to stop my shaking hands.

“I think you made things perfectly clear earlier,” he bitterly remarks but I need to tell him.

“Five minutes and if you want me to leave, I can cycle myself home,” I interrupt, looking straight into his eyes.

Sighing, he lets me in and I immediately walk in, not bothering to take my trainers off just in case. The apartment is now dimly lit, with the moonlight coming in from the undrawn curtains.

“It’s a little late to be working,” I remark, spying his laptop still on while keeping my back to him. I can’t handle the cold expression on his face.

“I needed to distract myself. So, you have five minutes,” he reminds me while keeping a distance. I deserve that - I broke his heart by rejecting it. Taking a deep breath, I cross my arms and begin rambling.

“I came here because I am still in love with you, Mark. I miss you so much, everything feels weird and scary without you. I said we couldn’t be together because I thought it would be easier to not risk anything than to entertain the idea of a future with you, which is the only thing I want. And I can’t sit at home without you knowing that or doing nothing about it."

The following silence is horrible, and I have the crushing feeling that I am too late. I can’t bear to look at him, his bitter expression is engrained in my mind. As I turn to leave, Mark’s strong arms immediately wrap around me like ivy so I am crushed against him. I begin to feel overly warm but his embrace are so tight around me, I can’t unzip my sweatshirt.

“Really? You mean that?” he whispers, his lips close to my ear.

“Which part?” I murmur, gently nuzzling towards him.

“A future with me. Do you really want that?"

“Yes, more than anything,” I reply, biting my lip. I hear his deep breaths and the way he skims his lips up my throat causes me to shiver.

“Does that sounds crazy…or naive?” I ask.

“Far from it. Come here, let me see you,” he gently asks.

Looking up, I see the look of relief in his eyes as he stars intently at me. His hands softly cup my face, so I cannot escape him.

"What made you come back?" he asks, looking like he has never seen me before.

"My mom told me to," I reply sheepishly, bringing out a huge smile on his face as he embraces me. A sigh escapes me as I return his hug, and relish how right it feels.

"I owe her a huge kiss for bringing you back to me," he murmurs against my hair.

"As long as it's not on the lips, I might get jealous," I joke. He quietly chuckles as he pulls back slightly to see my reddened eyes and blotchy cheeks. The tears now falling are of relief and joy, yet I cannot seem to stop them.

"Stop that,” he gently says, watching one fall before running his index finger down my cheek.

“Sorry, sentimentality,” I try and lighten the mood, causing him to smile. Closing my eyes, I sigh as he presses his lips on my flushed cheek, making my heart jump at his touch. My hands hold his hips so I stop them from trembling.

“I have never wanted to make you cry,” he murmurs, softly kissing a stray tear away from my face.

“You’re doing a good job of it now. Mark, what I said earlier tonight, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you,” I whisper, cherishing his touch against my skin while his lips brush over my forehead and eyelids.

“Shush, none of that matters now. Nothing matters but you and me,” he whispers. Raising my gaze, I blink the remaining tears away to look into his gorgeous green eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks so quietly, I can barely hear it.

I nod gently and he immediately lets out a breath before catching my mouth in a deep kiss. Quietly groaning, he treasures my lips in that all-too familiar way that make me feel like the centre of his world. I lose my breath with his kiss in that unique way that has my toes curling.

He slightly breaks away but his thumbs continue caressing my cheeks. I notice his stunning eyes are dilated. His breathing is as deep as mine. I begin to feel warm and with every stroke along my cheekbone, my heartbeat quickens. His eyes flicker between my mouth and my eyes, leaving me wanting for more.

In a beat, I tangle my fingers into his hair and push my mouth onto his, capturing it in a passionate kiss so suddenly, he stumbles slightly but quickly and insistently kisses me back. With a desperate groan, I feel his tongue stroke along my lips and I open my mouth to eagerly meet his, intensifying the kiss. Mark buries a hand into my hair while indulging in my lips. Bracing my arms around his strong back, my heart swells in reconnecting with the only person who has ever captured my heart.

“God, I love you,” he moans. His hands move to unzip my sweatshirt, while he starts urgently kiss my throat.

“Sorry, I smell a bit from cycling,” I hoarsely say, trying not to pounce on him.

“Does it look like I give a fuck?” he quickly says, pulling my sweatshirt off before bringing me in to deeply kiss me.

As his tongue strokes alongside mine, he unclips my hair so it tumbles in a mess around my shoulders. He runs his fingers through my strands, pulling me closer. I kick off my trainers and socks and he swiftly lifts me off my feet to move us towards his bed, pulling aside the separator curtain of muslin in the process. His deep breaths follow each reverent kiss, stirring my blood with each brush of his lips. He sits down on the bed with me straddling him. His hands roam restlessly around me, stroking my bare back under my shirt and running his fingertips through my tousled tendrils.

I pull away slightly, trying to catch my breath.

“Beth? What’s wrong?” Mark asks, brushing his lips against mine, causing tingles across my mouth.

“It’s been so long...” I start, wrapping my hands round his wrists but his strong forearms tense.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he breathes, pressing his forehead on mine. Closing my eyes at his touch, I instinctively rub my face next to his. His heat flushes my cheeks and my breaths become deeper.

“We can take our time. Just stay with me, Beth. Let me love you,” he gently urges me, tracing his thumb along my lip.

The hoarseness and sultry tone in his voice stirs something inside me. Unable to resist, I turn my head to deeply kiss him. I run my hands through his hair, causing him to moan quietly. His lips move to the spot beneath my chin, causing me to shiver in his arms.

“I’ve always liked this spot,” he purrs.

“I like it too,” I breathlessly reply.

His quiet groans reverberate against my throat from his kisses as his ardent fingers reaches for the hem of my shirt. While I fumble with his shirt buttons, he pulls up my top. I raise my arms for him to throw my shirt onto the floor, and I immediately finish undoing the buttons, exposing his honey-brown torso. I can’t resist gliding my hands up his warm skin - even after a year apart, he still looks incredible.

“Beth,” he breathes as he unclasps my bra, running his hands up my naked back and his lips across my bare chest. My self-control dissipating, I immediately push him down onto the bed so I am sitting over him, allowing me to cover his throat and collarbone with kisses. His deep pants flow through me, spurring me on.

“Oh,” he sighs as my teeth gently graze across his skin.

“Come here,” he groans and as he pulls my head up to recapture my mouth, he flips me onto the bed and his legs force mine apart to rest in between them. While his kisses overwhelm my senses, my ardent hands strip off his shirt to reveal his warm biceps. Never leaving my lips, he frees himself of the white fabric and his hands immediately caress my bare skin. He runs his fingers up my hip and my side, causing me to giggle from ticklishness.

“I’ve missed that sound, I want you so much,” he whispers against my lips.

Deeply kissing me, his fingertips reach my shoulder bra strap and begins to pull it down. My giggles stop and are replaced with quiet moans. After he discards my bra, he moves to kiss my chest. My breath catches in my throat as he suckles each of my nipples until they harden in between his lips. His kisses move south and his tongue and lips caress my belly while his hands peel the clothing off my body.

As soon as my shorts, trainers and underwear hit the floor, his hands spread my legs wider and he lies down between them. Looking down, all I can do is watch, the voyeurism of him looking at me with a hunger in his eyes causes me to bite my lip.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmurs before burying his face in between my thighs. A strangled moan escapes me as his tongue circles my clit. I feel his hands immediately pin my hips down as he lets out a low, deep groan while he pleasures me. Entangling my fingers in his hair to hold him next to me, I bite my lip as he sucks my clit. I am breathing heavily with each sweet moment and as he buries a finger inside me and gently rubs that sensitive spot he knows all so well, I give into the pleasure built up within me. Tilting my head back, a moan erupts from my throat and my orgasm takes over my body.

I am still shaking when Mark, panting heavily, takes me into his arms. Bringing me further up the bed, he lays me down and softly kisses my flushed face while I slowly come back down to Earth. When my sanity returns, I notice he has removed his pants and he is hard and ready for me. Taking the initiative, I gently guide him down onto the bed and I straddle him.

He looks at me with hooded eyes, his hands stroke my thighs as I settle on top of him. I, in turn, admire him. His shoulders are broader and his arms, more muscular. Feeling his warm skin and strong chest under my trembling fingertips, it seems strange - he has haunted my dreams while we have been apart but now that he is with me, wanting me.

With slight hesitation, I position myself over him and holding him in my hand, I gently lower myself onto him. He moves to stop me but I shake my head.

“I’m on the pill,” I murmur and with that, I push myself onto him. I am so aroused, he practically slides into me.

“Oh, Beth,” he groans, tilting his head back as he is hilt-deep inside me. For the first time, I feel him deep and bare inside me and the feeling is wonderful. I have always been so careful in the past, swearing on using condoms, but now, I want to feel all of him as we make love.

I slowly raise my hips and catching my hands, Mark lifts himself up to meet me as I lower my body, going deeper inside me. A desperate moan leaves me as he buries himself within me, at how good it feels. We move in a steady rhythm, losing ourselves in each other. Closing my eyes, I feel myself trembling until two strong arms wrap around me. He continues to thrust into me and his groans are deep and agonised in my ear. Enclasped in his arms, I let go of the emotions within me and our orgasms quickly take over. H e loudly groans against me and I come apart on top to him, smelling his clean sweat against my sensitive skin. I feel our strong arousal trickling out of me but as I start to move, Mark tenderly grasps the nape of my neck.

“I’m not done,” he growls and moves to guide me onto the bed. Breathing heavily, I open my eyes and see Mark on top of me, sweeping my hair aside from my flushed face.

Supporting himself on his elbows, I see the tenderness in his eyes, which convey so much emotion by looking at me. He affectionately rubs his nose next to mine, bringing out a smile across my face.

“What you do to me, Beth,” he breathes, resting his arm by me while his free hand cups my face to deeply kiss me. Moaning, I desperately return his kiss, my tongue ardently caressing his. My heels dig into the soft mattress, while my arms envelop him as he slowly and deeply thrusts into me. My fingers reacquaint with the softness of his hair, the coarse strands tickling against my skin.

"Please go faster,” I plead, my fingertips dancing down his biceps as his kisses slowly move across my jaw up to my ear.

“No,” he whispers, my nipple hardening with a brush of his thumb.

“Please, Mark,” I beg.

“No…no. I’m not ready to let you go. I want to keep you here, with me, for as long as I can,” he moans, sucking my earlobe. His gentle movements intoxicate me and I give in to the emotions he is stirring within me, his arms bringing me closer so I can feel his thumping heartbeat next to my breast.

Quietly moaning my name, he dots soft, sweet kisses around my jaw, chin, collarbone and face while he tenderly moves in and out of me, taking his time. I run my hands down his strong back, the curve of his fantastic ass, his tense arms...all the while, revelling in him loving me.

I hear his quiet breaths in my ear and my arms wrap around him, curling my hands up to his shoulders. He bends down to run his tongue up from the base of my throat to my chin, pursing his lips into a kiss, bringing out a loud moan from me. I bring my legs up to surround his waist and quickly feel him take me deeper.

“You don’t know how much I need you,” he breathes. I hear the desperation in his voice. All this time I thought that he had moved on, but has he been as broken-hearted as me?

My eyes meet his and he rests his forehead on mine.

“I go to sleep dreaming of you. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you,” he whispers, as he continues to move gently in and out of me.

“Oh, Mark…I love you,” I murmur, running my fingers into his hair.

“Say that again,” he groans, his eyes widened and his voice deepens with lust.

“I love y-" I start, but he interrupts me with an intense kiss and he begins to thrust so hard into me that I whimper against his mouth. I hear our moans become louder with each sharp plunge and I tilt my head back as he passionately makes love to me. I feel his lips caress my throat, kissing and licking my skin, and I drag my nails across his back, slightly marking him.

"Mine...you are mine," he moans as one of his hands squeezes my breast. I roll my eyes back at the feeling of his ardent fingertips teasing my nipple and his mouth on my neck, while he continues to move deeply inside me.

I feel my orgasm brewing within me and as Mark enclasps me in his arms to kiss me again, he starts to shake under my fingers. But he doesn’t stop moving. He doesn’t stop loving me.

“Mark, I’m coming…” I urgently break our kiss to whisper in his ear, fisting my hand in his hair. He, in turn, rests his lips by my earlobe.

“Then let go. Please surrender to me, baby,” he begs as he violently trembles in my arms. His fervent plea is like a key to my freedom and with a cry of his name, I succumb to the strongest orgasm I have ever experienced. Endless waves of intense pleasure wash over me as blood flows throughout my body.

As my orgasm takes over, Mark screams my name and stills, coming so hard inside me that I feel it. Panting, he collapses on top of me, resting his cheek on my chest. I immediately run my hands into his hair, holding him close. All sorts of thoughts scatter through my mind - wondering how he still can bring me to a blubbering mess to how I can still evoke such passion within him after all this time stuns me.

I am content with having him in my arms but he kisses my chest moving his lips up towards my collarbone.

“Oh,” I quietly moan.

“Oh, Beth...you're perfect," he whispers, before deeply kissing the crook by my shoulder. H is arms move to hold me so tightly that I wince.

Sensing my discomfort, he turns us onto our sides and closely embraces me, entangling his fingers in my damp hair, as we revel in our release.

We lie in each other’s arms, never wanting to let each other go. Panting heavily, I rest my face on his hard chest and he presses a soft kiss on top of my head. I want to indulge in his touch and the sweet things he starts whispering in my ear but I soon fall asleep in his arms.

*********************************

I am dreaming of Mark gently caressing my back with kisses when I wake up unexpectedly short of breath, only to see the shimmering rays of dawn in my eyes. Turning my head, I smile at the sight of him sound asleep next to me. He looks so unguarded and sexy, and his ruffled hair and swollen lips so tempting to the touch. I want to snuggle next to him, but nature calls.

Pulling on Mark's shirt, I button it up as I make my way to the bathroom. After washing my hands, I leave and see the sunlight starting to beam into the apartment. I pad over to the window and quietly draw the drapes to avoid the light disturbing Mark. Leaning against the window frame, I gaze through the muslin and look at the town slowly come to life to face a new day.

Breathing with a sense of contentment, a smile crosses my face. Mark is back in my life and he still loves me. But the sudden thought of a relationship one or two years into the future crosses my mind, causing my smile to fall slightly.

Can we survive the long-distance thing again? We barely got through it last time.

Before I start over-thinking, two warm hands hug around my waist from behind and soft lips kiss my neck.

"If this is a dream, I don't want to ever wake up,” Mark whispers. Stifling a smile, I run my hands over his.

"Good morning, handsome," I murmur, turning in his arms and look at his beaming face. He still looks sleepy, wearing only in his boxers but his expression is warm with infectious joy. Smiling, I run my hands up his toned chest to feel his lovely body under my fingertips.

"Good morning, angel. It’s early, how come you're up?" he asks, pulling me close to him.

"I needed the bathroom. Do you mind me wearing your shirt?" I shyly smile.

"Not at all. In fact, seeing you like this, in just my shirt, has become my new favourite way of waking up," he purrs, rubbing his nose next to mine.

"You've seen me in your shirts before," I tease, running my hands around his neck.

"T-shirts, yes. But not shirts like this one, you look so damn sexy," he whispers, before pulling me in for a sweet kiss. His hands glide down my back, hooking a strong arm under my bare behind to lift me up. Giggling, I tighten my arms and legs around him as he takes us back to the bed, feeling him smile against my mouth. Planting a knee on the bed, he drops us onto the soft mattress, pinning me underneath him with his lips on mine.

His tongue is soft and sweet against my own, overwhelming my senses. Moaning softly, I run my hands up his naked back and suck his swollen lips with each lush kiss as one of his hands runs slowly up my thigh. I hear him groan quietly and he nestles closer to me, drawing my legs further apart to fit perfectly between them.

We kiss slowly, deeply and without a care in the world. I feel him harden against me and as I bury my hands into his hair, he slightly pulls away.

"You're mine, Beth, and I love you," he softly says with a smile, sweeping the hair away from my forehead.

"After all this time?" I murmur, tracing his lips with my fingertip. Smiling, he purses his lips to kiss it.

"Ever since high school. Since you first smiled at me in the diner, you have always had my heart," he says.

“Mark,” I murmur, biting my lip from shyness. He leans down to rub his nose next to mine.

“I should have said it earlier and a lot more often. I’m so sorry for leaving you and for not giving us a chance. I don’t want you walking away from me again.”

"I love you too," I murmur but my earlier realisation causes my smile to fall.

“What is it, Beth?” he quietly asks. I run my hands down his biceps, loving the comforting warmth of his skin.

"I don’t want to do long-distance again," I carefully say.

"Me neither," he starts but I immediately interrupt him, pressing my fingertips on his lips.

“So what do we do? You're leaving in a couple of days," I solemnly say. His smile also falling, he moves to lie aside me and his look becomes apprehensive.

“I know. After I dropped you off, I spent all night thinking about us and how it would work. I am not sure if I can transfer back as all my main business is based in the East. By the time I got to sleep, I only had one real solution,” he says.

“Which is?” I whisper.

Taking a deep breath, he draws me closer so our noses are touching each other. He sweeps my hair behind my ear to look me right in the eye.

“Come with me.”

My heart drops and my eyes widen. Looking at his unwavering gaze, the tension in his body is evident.

“What?” I ask, blinking rapidly.

“Come back to Hong Kong with me."

“Seriously?” He moves closer, so he is resting his forehead on mine. His hand smoothes my hair behind my ear, so I can see his jade green irises.

“Seriously. I can support us while you find work, you can learn Mandarin like you’ve always wanted and we can actually spend our lives with each other rather than do it through Skype and emails.”

The idea is tempting but how can I leave home? My mother and my sister? Everything I know?

I spend an endless moment thinking about it but Mark tilts my chin once more to meet his green eyes.

“I understand that it’s a big thing for me to ask and I will ask your mom and sister to see if it is okay but please say you’ll consider it. I am a wreck without you,” he asks endearingly.

In a flash, everything becomes clear. I see the love in his eyes, how serious he is in his plea. I soon realise that this is the second chance that I have dreamt of for the last year, my only opportunity to live my life the way I want.

“I don’t want to consider it,” I say firmly. His anxious gaze becomes saddened and horrified but then, I genuinely smile for the first time in months.

“I want to do it,” I breathe. After a brief pause, he lets out a deep breath and embraces me tightly, laughing against my neck. I sniffle as I wrap my arms around him, overjoyed in being reunited with him and as he passionately kisses me, I know that he isn’t going anywhere.

**************

Two years on and I am happily settled in Mark’s apartment in Kowloon. After a tricky few months, I manage to find a job at a private English school as a counsellor and the long school holidays and comfortable pay meant Mark and I are able to make the most of our new life together.

Shortly after starting my new job, he took me to Victoria Peak and surprised me with a gorgeous diamond ring. To my embarrassment and the amusement of tourists in the park, he bent down on one knee and asked me to marry him with the stunning skyline of Hong Kong Island’s famous skyscrapers behind us. I immediately said yes and we were married a few months later with our families in attendance.

Some time afterwards, we welcomed our little girl, Lily, who completed our family and things have never been better.

After finishing my work, I wander into the front room where Mark is resting on the couch, watching TV with our beautiful baby on his lap. My heart bursts as she coos and giggles while playfully patting his face. Seeing him smile widely, he kisses her cheek and nuzzles her nose, causing her to laugh. As I pad towards them, he smiles and turns our daughter on his lap, so she sees me directly.

“Look, Lily. Mommy’s here,” he says, finger-waving at me, which makes her smile adorably.

Sitting down on the couch, I snuggle next to Mark and he presses a kiss on my forehead, while I take Lily into my arms.

“Mmmm, my family,” he purrs, wrapping an arm around me.

I couldn’t agree more. I am where I belong. Finally.