Way Out Of The Depression
- 4 years ago
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Sucking My Way Out Of Depression free porn video
My wife, Gwen, and I were born and raised in a small farming town in Kansas. Our parents are successful farmers and were able to send us to college at KU in Lawrence, Kansas. We both got degrees in business administration and found good state government jobs in Topeka, which is only about twenty miles from Lawrence.
I worked my way up to become a deputy director in one of the state agencies. Gwen quit working at the age of twenty-five to raise our children. Our son and daughter are now attending college in Lawrence. Our kids come home when they can, but we are becoming used to being intermittent empty nesters.
My name is Dan, and although we've had a good life, I was beginning to feel restless, bored and depressed. I was then forty-five years old and beginning to think that I would never get any farther in my career. One of the other deputy directors, who is my age, was appointed to the director’s position over me. The only positive thing about being overlooked is that as a deputy director, I'm able to work from home three or four days a week. With the kids out of the house most of the time, Gwen was also depressed, and she had little or no interest in sex.
We were always a religious family, and I had never had an interest in porn, at least not since Gwen and I became serious in college. I have to admit that I did experiment briefly with boy on boy sex in my senior year of high school. That was all but forgotten until I began my mid-life crisis. Then I started thinking about the old days, maybe to recapture those enjoyable and less stressful times of my youth. I’ll briefly describe those events from my senior year since they directly impact this story.
I suppose that I was considered to be a nerdy boy in high school. I'm five feet and ten inches tall and weighed about one hundred and fifty pounds when I was a senior. I'm smart and was a good student, belonging to several academic oriented clubs and the band. The band traveled to some of the away football games, which sometimes required us to stay overnight in motels.
On one of those trips we were staying at a motel and I was in a room with three other senior boys, sharing two double beds. We got back to the motel at around 10:00 pm, after the game and picking up some burgers. My best friend, Jimmy, snuck out to a convenience store next to the motel and bought us two six-packs of beer. We were already tired from the trip and our performance at the stadium, so we were feeling no pain after drinking three beers each.
We were all goofing around and trying to keep the noise down, when one of the boys, named Kendall suggested that we play a game of circle jerk. I had heard of it before, but never participated. I recently looked it up online and found that there are many ways to have a circle jerk competition. While there can be a homoerotic element to it, it is also a way to establish heterosexual, masculine dominance within a group of boys or men.
In Wendell’s version, we were standing around and jerking off into a cup sitting on the edge of a small end table. The winner would be the one to ejaculate first, and the loser would be the last. The loser would then have to suck the winner’s cock for only a minute and drink the contents of the cup. If I had been thinking clearly, I would never have played the game. But, I masturbated a lot back then, and really thought that I would win.
I had seen the boys in the showers after band performances, but never when their cocks are hard. I was surprised to learn that I have the smallest dick after we all took off our pants and underwear and started stroking. My dick is circumcised, and is then and still am four inches long and thin, with a tight ball sack. My best friend, Jimmy’s, cock is uncircumcised and almost eight inches long. It's also very thick, and he has huge balls swinging between his legs.
Wendell’s cock is also uncut and the biggest at over eight inches long and very thick, with huge hairy balls. The other boy, Clark, has about seven inches of cock meat. I was feeling self-conscious about my little dick and Wendell sure didn’t help when he and the others laughed as he said, “Hey, guys, look at Dan’s little dick. We’ll have to call him ‘needle dick the bug fucker’.”
After drinking those beers and being embarrassed by Wendell, I could tell that I would not be able to cum as fast as usual. That was the first time in my life that I remember feeling humbled around other boys. It was also hard to concentrate looking at the other boy’s cocks. I had never had an attraction to other boys or their cocks, but I was fascinated with them, especially Jimmy’s and Wendell’s with those foreskins sliding over their big cock heads that were wet with precum.
I continued beating my dick as Wendell was the first to shoot a huge load of cum into the cup, followed by Jimmy and then Clark. I just gave up at that point, but I loved the smell of their cum as it permeated the room. Wendell waved his softening cock at me and said, “Get busy, Dan. It’s only right that the guy with the smallest dick gets to suck the biggest one.”
Jimmy was looking down at me almost in disbelief as I moved to my knees in front of Wendell. I had no desire to suck his cock, at least not at that point, but I thought that I had to honor the game and suck him. I took his thick meat into my hand and liked the thickness and weight of it compared to my little dick. Then I took the cock head and foreskin of his half-hard cock into my mouth, and it was still oozing cum.
It only took me moments to realize that I enjoyed the taste of his cum and sucking his cock. I liked the smell of his sweaty and musky teen crotch and the taste of his foreskin. Just the feeling of his thick veins sliding into my mouth was awesome too. I instinctively reached up to hold and fondle his big, hairy balls.
Wendell then held my head on his cock and fucked himself into my mouth as he said, “Look, guys, Dan really seems to like sucking me. He’s even rubbing my balls for me, and I’ll feed them to him next.”
Being a teenager, it only took Wendell a few seconds for his cock to get fully hard again. The rules for the game were that I only needed to suck his cock for a minute. Wendell held my head in place as I sucked him several minutes after the minute passed. Not only wasn’t I struggling to get away, I was eagerly sucking, tonguing, and slurping on his big cock. The guys were talking and laughing about me being a hungry cock sucker as I continued sucking until Wendell’s big cock started throbbing in my mouth, and I swallowed his fresh load of tasty boy cum.”
Wendell pushed me away as I tried to continue sucking his softening cock. He laughed and said, “Damn, Dan, that’s enough for now. I had no idea you’d be so hungry for it. Now it shouldn’t be a big deal for you to drain the cup.”
I didn’t want to admit what the other boys already knew. I had discovered that I liked sucking cock and the taste of cum. I took the cup and ceremoniously tipped it up and swallowed, enjoying the different tastes and textures of still-warm cum in the mixture as I swirled it around in my mouth. The guys recoiled and had sour looks on their faces, like they had just bitten into lemons, watching me swallow their cum.
Right after I sat the cup down and licked my lips, Jimmy looked at me and said, “Holy shit, Dan, didn’t you know that this was all a joke? We never expected you to suck Wendell’s cock all the way and then drink our splooge from the cup. Damn, man, you swallowed our fuck slime without any hesitation, and seemed to enjoy it. I never knew you were a cock sucker.”
I was embarrassed at first and tried to convince the boys that I wasn't gay. I had no attraction to them in a romantic way. I just loved the feeling of sucking a cock and then swallowing the cum. At that point I was definitely feeling subservient to my friends and their big cocks, and I liked that feeling for some reason.
We stayed up most of the night with me sucking all their cocks and balls several times, and of course eating all their cum. I loved the feeling of serving them sexually. I even enjoyed having them sit on my face to teabag me to feed me their balls. By the end of the night I was laying back on the bed with them on top of me, fucking my mouth and throat like a cunt. In just that one night I went from being their friend, with equal standing in the group, to their hungry, submissive cock sucker.
Following that night, I sucked those three boys at every opportunity, until we graduated from high school. I thought about finding other boys to suck, but I knew that only those three friends would keep my cock sucking a secret. Although, I always wondered what it would be like to suck other boys and men. I didn’t want to risk finding boys to suck in college, and I soon moved on to girls, and eventually met Gwen.
Now, back in the present, those old memories from high school immediately perked me up. My dick got hard just thinking about what it was like those many years ago, sucking my friends. I wanted to find some pictures and videos showing cocks and cock sucking and started doing searches on the internet. The internet didn’t even exist when I was in high school.
Since I had never searched for porn before, I was surprised at the almost infinite variety of cock-related material that is available. I eventually came across a story site that has dozens of first-time stories. I liked reading about the mental transformation men go through when they discover in midlife, their bisexual desires to suck cock. I was able to relate to the cock sucking characters because of my previous experience, small dick, and feelings I remembered at being submissive to my friends.
Some of the stories emphasize how eager some white men are to suck and be subservient to black and Latino men with their big, black and brown cocks. Even more arousing to me are those where the men of color dominate the white men and make them suck their balls and even their asses, in addition to their big cocks.
I remembered how much I enjoyed tasting and swallowing cum, and my favorite stories are the ones where the submissive character, who I pictured as being me, is always hungry for cum, and in some cases even the piss of the black and Latino men. As sick as that sounds, it appealed to my feelings of wanting to be dominated and demeaned by those men. That’s when I continued my search for photos and videos of dark cocks.
There were thousands and thousands of pictures and hundreds of videos of white men sucking men of color and being abused by them. I was becoming obsessed with trying to find a way to meet with men like that. I did a lot of research on ways to meet men for sex, but I was never comfortable with the safety of it. I wanted to be able to find married men who are clean and disease free, and just not getting what they needed at home. I'm not attracted to men, per se, and wanted nothing to do with any huggy, kissy stuff.
I started several times to advertise on Craigslist or one of the other sites, but always lost my nerve. I knew that it would be hard to find the right situation for me, and I was worried about exposing my identity due to my public position at work. I resigned myself to just keeping my eyes open for any opportunities that might come my way, hoping that I could think of a way to approach a man at that time.
Gwen and I live in a nice subdivision in Topeka, which borders a prairie area that has a nice walking/jogging/biking trail that goes for miles in either direction. On the days I work at home, I take long walks on the trail, which helps me stay in shape, and probably helps my depression. The open prairie area is a strip of land about a half mile wide with a stream running through it. Part of the trail is in wide open areas, but several sections follow the stream through nicely shaded areas with big trees and thick bushes.
One day in mid-August I was walking on the trail by the stream, and saw a pickup truck parked off the path. There was a Latino man working by himself who looked to be a little older than me. He was fencing off an area by the stream with bright orange, plastic fencing and pounding survey stakes into the ground. He seemed like a pretty normal guy at maybe five feet and nine inches tall and a little overweight with a small, pot belly.
We were out in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t see anyone else using the trail for at least a half mile in either direction. I watched him working for a few moments and then thought about all the stories I read and pictures I saw of big, thick Latino cocks. That seemed like that perfect situation I was hoping to find where I could approach a Latino man about sucking his cock.
I walked up next to where he was working and said, “Hi, it sure is a hot one today. What are you marking off this area for?”
He looked up at me and replied in English, with a strong Mexican accent, “Yes, senor, it is hot today. We’re running water and sewer lines across the prairie to a new subdivision being built about a half mile across over there. We're building a concrete structure here to route the pipes under the stream. This is a big job and will take us almost two weeks, but it should only affect your trail use for two days.”
I wanted to keep him talking so I asked, “Do you have a few minutes to talk? There’s something I’ve always been curious about. By the way, my name is Dan.”
He stopped pounding in the fence post and shook his head 'yes'. I wanted to find a way to talk about sex, without revealing my intentions too soon. He moved over behind some thick bushes and sat down on a big log to rest, as I sat a couple of feet from him.
I was more nervous than I thought I’d be when I lied and said, “One of my friends works on a construction crew. He told me once that they are sometimes propositioned by women, or even men, when they're working in remote areas like this. Have you ever had an experience like that?”
I waited as he looked up searching the overhanging trees for his answer. Then he laughed as he replied, “Nice to meet you, Dan. My name is Hector, and much of the work my company does is in out-of-the-way places like this. I’m sorry to say that I have never had a pretty young woman approach me. There have been a few maricons though.”
I know that maricon is the Spanish word for ‘gay’, but I wanted to feign ignorance to keep the conversation going. I said, “Sorry that there were no ladies, Hector, but what is a maricon?”
He smiled and replied, “You know…how you say, a man who sucks cocks.”
I said, “Wow, that must have been disturbing. What did you do when they approached you, and how old were the guys?”
Hector replied, “Well, most of them are men about our ages. I don’t know what causes it, but it seems like some gringos get a taste for brown cock when they get to middle-age. I think most of them are otherwise happily married, but they just need a little brown, or even black, meat to suck on from time to time, and they like the cock juices.”
I tried to act surprised and said, “Damn, man, that sounds fucked up. What do you do about it when they let you know what they’re after?”
He started unfastening his belt and pants as he replied, “Listen, gringo, my wife doesn’t give up her pussy like she did when we were younger, and she always thought it was nasty to put her month on my cock. So, when I get a chance to fuck a gringo mouth, I always go for it. You seem like a nice guy, and I haven’t gotten my nut for over a week now. I might even give you two loads if you do a nice job working on my balls and ass after you eat my first load of hombre leche (man milk).”
Well, so much for thinking that I was fooling him with my approach. He seemed like a nice guy too, and his matter-of-fact, assertive approach appealed to my submissive desires. He stood up and dropped his pants and underwear, before sitting back down on the log. I didn’t say a word, but just got on my knees in front of him.
I lifted the front of his work shirt and saw his very thick, brown, uncircumcised cock that was still soft and over seven inches long. His scrotum was long, hairy and even darker brown, and his testicles were the size of eggs.
Hector was smiling down at me as I leaned in to lift his big cock to my mouth. That’s when I got my first whiff of his sweaty, musky and piss stained crotch. It was so nasty and yet so arousing knowing that I was taking the cock of a sweaty, Mexican, working man into my mouth and planning to swallow his sex fluids.
My first taste of his damp cock head and foreskin brought back memories of sucking my friends in high school. I opened my mouth as wide as I could to take more of his quickly-hardening cock into my mouth. His foreskin is long and chewy, and I was guessing that he didn’t shake his cock too well after his last piss. I tasted and smelled a mixture of precum, sweat and piss as I hungrily sucked his fuck meat.
He held my head in place as he spread his legs wider and his cock reached its full nine inches. I wrapped my arms under his hairy thighs to get a better grip sucking him. Hector was rocking his hips on the log, fucking my mouth, as I aggressively sucked his big, brown Latino cock.
It seemed like I had only been sucking him for five minutes or so when he held my head more tightly and ejaculated into my mouth. His was skull fucking me with short, convulsive thrusts and his cock was throbbing as it filled my mouth with his thick fuck cream. His semen tasted a little bitter and was thicker than I remembered my friends having in high school.
I loved the taste of his cream and I continued to suck his softening cock, tonguing the foreskin and swallowing the remaining cum oozing from his urethra. I was so turned on and crazy with lust from sucking my first cock in twenty-seven years.
I kept sucking and licking him until he pushed me away saying, “Take it easy, gringo. Damn, you’re sure a hungry cock sucker. I’ll have more fluids for you in a little while. You can work on my balls for me while I churn up another load of cum for you. Man, you’re nasty enough sucking my sweaty cock this way that I might have another disgusting surprise for you.”
Hector pulled his pants up for a minute while he went to his truck to get a canvas tarp. Then we went a little deeper into the bushes where he laid the tarp on the ground and told me to lie down on my back. I wasn’t quite sure what he was doing until he stood straddling my chest, with his feet on either side of me, and facing my feet. Then I saw his big ass cheeks as he squatted down over my face like he was going to take a shit or something. He pressed his sweaty balls and perineum to my mouth.
I began sucking his huge, aromatic balls and loved it when he sat down a little harder, pinning me under him. I had sucked the boys that way, but then he added something new by slowly moving his crotch forward until my face was in the hairy, sweaty, crack of his fat, brown ass.
Hector moved back and forth fucking my face with his ass, as I continued sucking and licking whatever he put against my mouth. I knew that my tongue and lips had to be sliding back and forth across his asshole. I wrapped my arms around his thick thighs to help him stay balanced and to hold him in place. I loved the nastiness of being pinned under him that way. He continued rubbing his ass across my face for a few minutes and then I felt him spread his ass cheeks with his hands, and press his asshole to my mouth. I tongued and sucked his tangy, hairy hole and twisted my face to the side periodically to get a little air.
I knew that Hector liked what I was doing because he kept squirming and pressing down on my face as he said, “Oh, fuck yeah, gringo. Push your tongue right up inside my dirty hole. I’ve never had someone as disgusting as you hold me in place like this, to hungrily eat my smelly ass. Fuck, man, I have another surprise for you now.
My tongue was still probing his asshole when he finally pulled off my face and got on his knees behind my head. Then he leaned over me and pushed his thick, soft cock back into my mouth. He held still as his cock throbbed a little and I felt his cock throb a little and I felt a strong stream of piss shoot into my mouth.
Hector laughed and said, “You better swallow fast, gringo. My piss should clean up your cunt mouth after sucking my dirty asshole the way you did.”
I was nauseated when he first started pissing into my mouth. Then I realized that I not only loved the taste of his strong piss, but I like the feeling of having him shooting it into my mouth. I realized at that moment that I loved the taste and feeling of any bodily fluids being injected into my mouth. He peed for over a minute, and then leaned over me and started fucking my mouth and throat as his cock quickly hardened.”
The feeling of being on the bottom under a horny, overweigh, brown-skinned man continued to feed my submissive feelings. I loved being used as a cum and piss dump by him, and hungrily sucked him as his big balls slapped against my head. He had been fucking my face for about five minutes when I thought I heard and felt the vibrations of a truck door closing.
I struggled to wiggle free and let Hector know, but he kept feeding me his brown cock. In just a few seconds Hector was moaning as I felt his cock pumping another load of cum into my mouth as a deep voice said, “Hot fucking damn, Hector, you always seem to attract these white cock suckers for us. It looks like you’re a little busy feeding him right now, so we can talk in a minute.”
Hector kept fucking my mouth until his cock was fully soft and I had long since swallowed his second load of seed. Then he pulled back and said, “Hey, Jeremy, this is Dan. He’s one filthy cock sucker. He not only sucked my cock off twice, but he sucked my sweaty balls and ass and even tongue-fucked my hole. Then I fed him a quite a bit of my stinky ass piss.”
Jeremy is a big, black man standing about six feet and two inches tall and weighing about two hundred pounds. He laughed and said, “Fuck, man, that’s great. I haven’t had any pussy in a week or so, and I can use a good sucking. What do you say, Dan? Do you have room in that belly for another load or two of cum? My sweaty balls and ass could use a good cleaning and sucking too.”
That was like a dream come true for me. I had been fantasizing about sucking both Latino and black cocks, and I was going to be able to get both in one day. I sat up on the tarp and said, “I just want you guys to know that this is the first time I’ve done anything like this in over twenty-five years. I started out thinking that I would just suck Hector’s cock, but then learned that I enjoyed the other stuff we did. So, fuck yeah, let me see that big, black cock of yours.”
I didn’t know what Jeremy would want to do first, so I laid back on the tarp while he took off his pants and underwear. His uncircumcised cock was soft and starting to harden and was already about nine inches long and as thick as Hector’s. His balls are also huge and were hanging down as far as his cock. He is very hairy and looked sweaty from the heat of the day. He positioned himself over me and squatted down just as Hector had done, and I had his strong smelling, funky balls in my face.
One of his egg-sized balls just barely fit into my mouth along with part of his hairy, black scrotum, and I sucked and licked it. He tasted pungent from the sweat and piss stains which made it even more enjoyable for me. He let me spend plenty of time sucking both balls before he slid forward and had my sucking his thick and long perineum. After just a few minutes sucking him there, he began to slide back and forth, sliding my face into his sweaty and hairy ass.
The smell was even stronger there and his ass had a sharp, tangy taste. I tongued and licked his entire ass crack until he sat down harder on my face and pressed his asshole to my mouth. I licked, sucked, tongued and chewed his asshole as I had done with Hector.
Jeremy was gyrating above me and saying, “You were fucking sure right about this nasty cock sucker, Hector. He’s fucking my ass with his long tongue. It feels so fucking good and is making my cock hard. If I had known this was going to happen I might have wiped a little better before I left the gas station.
I’ll probably never understand why being demeaned and abused by those men aroused me so much. I loved sucking, licking and tonguing their dirty cocks, balls and asses and being smothered under their weight. But my favorite part was still the feeling of their cum and piss shooting into my mouth for me to taste and swallow. It seemed like the more I was debased and the dirtier they were, the better I was feeling about myself.
Jeremy finally got off me since I was almost making him cum just by sucking his ass. I stayed in the same position on my back as he shoved his huge, black cock into my mouth. Soon he was fucking me hard and slamming his eleven inches of fuck meat all the way into my throat. Because of his previous stimulation it only took his cock a few minutes to throb and pulse as he filled my mouth with the biggest load of cum I had ever taken.
He kept his oozing cock in my mouth until it was soft, and then I heard him strain a little as he began pissing into my mouth. He laughed and said, “Here you go, cock sucker, I’ll wash down my big load of baby batter for you.”
I swallowed and swallowed as his tangy piss flooded my mouth. When he was finished I sat up on the tarp and we talked. Hector said, “I don’t need to have my cock sucked again, at least not today, but I sure would like to feel your tongue in my asshole again. That feels so good that it almost makes me cum.”
Jeremy was stroking his soft cock and said, “Yeah, no shit, Hector. I’m ready again right now. I want Dan to make me cum into my coffee cup while having my ass eaten. That way he can still drink my fuck juice that he loves so much.”
He got into a slightly different position for his second ass sucking. He got over me in a kind of squatting sixty-nine position, with his back to my front. Then he lowered his ass to my face and spread both legs and moved them forward, which dropped the full weight of his ass on my face. I first licked and sucked his entire ass crack again, before focusing on his hairy sphincter. Then I sucked and chewed on his asshole for a few seconds before pushing my tongue into it.
As I continued fucking his asshole with my tongue he rocked back and forth on my face, helping me to keep up the rhythm. It only took about five minutes until he ejaculated into his cup. He put his cup to the side and turned over on me, so I could clean his softening cock of the remnants of his ejaculation. He finally rolled off me, and I brought the cup to my lips and drank his cum down.
I continued my walks by the stream for the next few days and was always able to get two loads of cum and at least one load of piss from each of them each day. When the three other workers showed up to work on the other portions of the project, I thought my cock sucking would be over. As luck would have it, two of the new men are Mexicans, and they also wanted to be sucked off every day.
By the time the two weeks was over, I knew that I must have swallowed a total of over fifty loads of cum and dozens of loads of piss. I was feeling so much better and not depressed anymore. I read an article years ago that may or may not be true. It said that some of the chemicals in semen are believed to alleviate depression in women, when taken either vaginally or orally. I had to wonder if swallowing the cum from those dominant men could have done the same for me.
During the last few days of the project, I started looking for ways to have men to suck when the men on the trail were no longer there. I joined a health club that caters to men of color, and I have been able to enjoy a steady stream (no pun intended) of men who like using me to have their sweaty balls and asses sucked, in addition to shooting their cum and even some piss into my warm, sucking mouth.
Now I’m happy with my life and even my job, probably thanks to all the semen I ingest as well as the thrill I get being dominated by other men.
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