Agatha Allbut & The Bimbo Squad Ch. 04: Vacation free porn video

"Did you bring a bikini?" Lars asked as he handed their tickets to the gate agent.

Aggie laughed, unconsciously grabbing his hand so tight that her knuckles went white. "You know I don't own one," she said, smiling at him, "but if you buy me one, that’s not a thong or ultra-tiny, I just might wear it." Lars smiled at her and kissed her forehead as they walked onto the ramp leading to the Air Canada Jet 2 Airbus A321.

Aggie understood the physics of flight and the safety statistics regarding accidents, but ever since her Grandparents had died in a plane crash, she hated the thought of flying and was borderline aerophobic. When Lars told her they would be flying to the Caribbean, Aggie was filled with dread. She wanted to make him happy because ever since that night in the hotel Lars stopped asking her to do the weird kinky shit he liked. She decided that to thank him she would swallow her fear, and join him in to fly the friendly skies.

She had a death grip on Lars as she walked on unsteady legs onto the aircraft. She had researched Air Canada, and this model plane, and found that Air Canada was one of the ten safest airlines in the world, and the A321 had only one fatal crash. That plane was owned by a Russian Airline with one of the worst safety ratings in the world. Despite her fear, she was slightly reassured by the numbers. They had never let her down.

Once they were in their seats, Agatha closed her eyes and thought back to her conversation with Dr. Monroe last week when she knew she had to fly. That chat and his tips did alleviate her fears, but she was still more than a little anxious. The plane started moving again, and Aggie closed her eyes, not opening them until her ears started to pop as they flew up into the clouds.
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The flight was uneventful, and the plane landed with a thump five minutes ahead of schedule. Aggie was grateful to be on the ground again and even happier that he never mentioned the mile high club.

Lars looked over, and kissed her, as the doors opened, and passengers deplaned. Aggie stood up, stretched, and kissed Lars, feeling excited to be on vacation with him. She had convinced herself that this was a dress rehearsal for their honeymoon and bought some very white, very innocent, very sexy lingerie for their first night. It was diaphanous, and mimicked a wedding dress, right down to the veil. Aggie couldn’t wait to get to their room and have her man all to herself.

Lars led Aggie through the airport to the pick-up area. Lars pointed to a tall, handsome black man wearing a chauffeur's uniform, holding a sign with his name on it. As they approached the man he smiled, "Welcome back, Mr. Hardy."

"Hi, Chester, how are you?" Lars asked, shaking his hand. "This is my girlfriend Aggie, it's her first time."

"I'm sure she'll love it," he said, nodding at the young woman as he took their luggage, and put it in the trunk before opening the back door for them. They drove for about half an hour, pulling up to a large fence with a gate that opened automatically. The car drove up a long, winding, secluded driveway, coming to a stop under a large ornate portico.

Aggie and Lars entered the lobby, hand in hand, and headed toward the front desk. Suddenly, Lars was jerked to a stop. Glancing at Aggie he saw she was frozen in place, her mouth hanging to the floor, and her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Are you okay," he asked her.

"Those ... the people ... their umm uhh they're na ... na ... naked," Aggie whispered to him in shock and confusion.

"Of course, they are. This is a clothing-optional resort," Lars replied reasonably.

"A ... a ... a what," Aggie stammered, as she watched an elderly couple strolling hand in hand through the lobby, and into the gift shop, with nothing covering their wrinkled old skin.

"A clothing optional resort," Lars said, enunciating each word.

Aggie spun around and glared at Lars. "You expect me to walk around naked! In front of strangers! I bet you even thought I would fuck you in front of some asshole jocks so you could high five each other, right!" Aggie hissed at him.

"No ... no, nothing like that," Lars said defensively, "I was hoping to show you that people can enjoy their bodies and that spending a little time around people comfortable in their skin would help you reduce your inhibitions, and make you curious. Besides, there's no sex allowed in public. You don't have to ever be naked. You can wear whatever you want. No one will judge you."

Aggie glared at Lars, remaining silent. Lars stood still, uncertain of what else he could say. He knew it was a huge risk bringing Aggie here, without warning her. But like his parents always told him, "the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward."

After several minutes, Aggie exhaled hard, and snarled, "get me into a room, any room, right FUCKING NOW!"

Lars hurried over to the desk and registered. He scooped up the two key cards and led Aggie up to their room. As they got on the elevator Lars tried to take Aggie's hand, but she pulled away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. Her anger was palpable in the elevator, and Lars had no idea what to say to fix his error in judgment. As the doors began to shut, a male voice shouted, "hold it please!"

Without thinking, Aggie put her arm between the doors stopping them from closing. When the man walked onto the elevator Aggie gasped in shock as a huge, ebony man, wearing only what he was born with and a light sheen of sweat, stepped onto the elevator.

"Hi, I'm Muhunnad," he said, holding his hand out to Aggie.

"I'm Lars, nice to meet you. This is my girlfriend Aggie," Lars said, taking the giant's hand, as Aggie stood there frozen, her mouth agape as her eyes followed the largest, and thickest cock she’d ever seen as it pendulated across his muscular thighs.

Muhunnad winked at Lars. "First time," he asked, nodding at Aggie who eyes had stopped swinging to and fro and locked on his apple-sized scrotum hanging low from his crotch, as the elevator rose.

"Hers, yes. Mine no," Lars replied, smiling inwardly, hoping this would be the icebreaker Aggie needed to cool down and enjoy their time together at the resort.

"You kids have fun," Muhunnad said as the elevator dinged. "This is where I get off." Aggie took a step back, afraid of his meaning. Lars chuckled at the look of horror and desire on her face. When the doors opened, Muhunnad stepped off and waved making his equipment sway harder. As the doors closed again, he called out, "I hope to see you around."

When the elevator got to their floor, Lars led Aggie to their room. Aggie began to unpack, ignoring Lars completely. Once her clothes were put away, she picked up the remote and turned on the TV flicking through the channels until she found a Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon, she left it on, not because she liked it, but because she knew Lars hated it.

After letting her stew in silence, for almost an hour, Lars asked: "Do you want something to eat?"

Without any indication that she’d heard him speak, Aggie picked up the phone and dialed room service. "This is room nine-six-nine. I would like to order dinner. Please send up a chief salad with an Italian vinaigrette dressing, a club sandwich on whole wheat, and a pitcher of pineapple juice."

When Aggie started to order, Lars stepped closer to her. "I'd like a shrimp cocktail, and the surf, and turf with a Baltic Porter."

Aggie looked Lars dead in the eye, and with an icy fury in her voice, clearly, and distinctly said, "No, nothing else. Nothing! At! All! Thank you." Then placing the handset on the receiver. Lars threw himself on the couch and watched her lay on the bed and stare at the TV. They both remained motionless until room service knocked on the door. He walked over to the door, threw it open, and stormed out.

The attendant rolled in the cart, "Just leave it,” Aggie said as she signed the bill.

As soon as the door closed, Aggie began to cry. Internally, there was a war raging, part of her wanted to just strip down, and spend the week naked. But the emotional damage she suffered and her resulting insecurities, wouldn't let her be the libertine woman she knew Lars wanted. After a long hard cry and a few bites of her food, Aggie decided to take a shower. The warm water and tropical scented soap let Aggie imagine she was naked under a remote waterfall. She closed her eyes and pretended Lars was there with her, his hands started to cup her...

A loud knock on the door interrupted Aggie’s daydream. She jumped out of the shower, and tightly wrapped a large white fluffy towel around her wet naked body. When she opened the door, a local girl was standing there in a housekeeper's uniform.

“Maid service,” she said in heavily accented English.

Aggie nodded and stepped out of the doorway to let her in. As the domestic collected Aggie's dinner remnants she asked: “Turn down service?” Aggie nodded and watched as she got the bed ready for use, and put some mints on the pillows.

Aggie kept telling herself ‘Drop the towel, Drop it now. DROP! IT!,’ She even reached for the tuck several times, but just couldn't expose herself. ‘If I can’t go naked in front of a maid in my room, how the fuck am I supposed to fo nude in front of throngs of people on a public beach?’
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Lars had gone down to the bar and tossed back a few drinks. He was angry that Aggie had refused to talk to him but even angrier at himself. ‘I should have told her about the resort first, instead of letting it be a surprise.’ He shook his head in anger as he stared at the TV in the bar without really seeing it while waiting for the food he ordered.

He ate dinner at the bar while watching some local sport he didn’t understand. Once he finished his meal, he had a few, well, more than a few, drinks to give Aggie time to calm down. Determined to make things right, he headed to the gift shop to look for a gift for Aggie to make up with her.

He drunkenly stumbled around the small retail space, until he tripped over a display, knocking dozens of boxes onto the floor. Looking up and blinking in confusion, he saw a mannequin wearing a fairly conservative all-black bikini. ‘The perfect present,’ he thought. ‘Aggie asked me to buy one for her, and she promised to wear it. It’ll prove I don’t want her to go around naked.’

Lars drunkenly scooped up one of the boxes and looked at it trying to figure out if it would fit his petite girlfriend.

Shaking his head in disgust and annoyance, the clerk came over, “Can I help you, sir?" he asked, trying to stop Lars from destroying the display that took him two hours to build.

"I wan one dese. Small, tiny small," Lars slurred.

"Of course, sir," The clerk smiled at the drunken fool, “This one should fit the lady you're with perfectly," he told Lars, remembering the hissy fit she’d thrown in the lobby as he was starting his shift.

Lars paid for the bikini took the box, without a bag, and headed back to his room. When he got there he saw a housekeeper leaving with the dinner dishes and trash. In his drunken state, he thought, 'don wanna messy up a clice nean room.' He took the bikini out of the box and dropped the package onto the floor. Holding the swimsuit in his hand, he struggled with inserting his card key, and eventually got the door open.

Aggie was lying in bed, reading over a list of rules she’d found on the nightstand when she heard the door open. She thought about feigning sleep but decided that they needed to hash out their latest disagreement to salvage their first vacation. They both started to speak at the same time. Lars not realizing that Aggie was talking kept going, so Aggie stopped.

"Aggie, I thought about it n I sorry. I shoulda tole you bout da rezzort beefur we kaym heer."

Aggie listened to him, patiently as he drunkenly attempted to mansplain the resort's rules, and ended with, "I brung ya heer cuz iss my favurite playse to relaxe." He awkwardly shoved the balled up bikini toward her. Aggie took the wad of cloth from him and examined it. She decided to try it on, to see how it fit. It seemed to be one she would consider wearing.

Aggie put the bikini aside and looked at the strong handsome man she had secretly loved for years, and her heart melted. There was no way she could stay mad at him. She forgave him and decided to surrender her body to him. Aggie threw the covers off her body and knelt on the bed. She leaned forward and kissed Lars. "Thank you for the apology. I was pissed, I thought you expected me to go naked, and be in orgies, and gang bangs. You know how I feel about salacious behavior like that."

Lars nodded drunkenly and moved in for another kiss. Aggie put her hand up and pushed him away. "Go take a shower, and brush your teeth first, then maybe, just maybe, I'll kiss you again," she said teasingly.

Lars stumbled into the bathroom tossing his clothes off along the way. He almost fell twice while Aggie watched, amusement replacing the last remnants of her anger. Aggie thought about joining Lars in the shower like she heard some of the other girls at school talk about, but she just couldn't bring herself to do something so dirty.

While Lars took his shower, Aggie took off the flannel pajamas, and granny panties she had put on in anger. She pulled out the and took out the alabaster teddy she bought for tonight. The negligee didn't have a bra, just a sheer white baby doll embroidered with a tiny looping design. Each set of four loops looked like a stylized Celtic cross, the center of each loop was cutout. The baby doll was held up with two spaghetti straps and draped just below her panties. The baby doll was mostly opaque. It almost, but not quite, hid her nipples, and areola. But as it draped down her body, it became more translucent. By the time it covered the matching boy short panties it was as clear as the water surrounding the island. The panties covered her front adequately, but the back of the panties was made of a very loose weave that left more skin exposed than it hid. There was a veil attached to a circlet making the ensemble look like a risque wedding dress.

Lars walked out of the bathroom naked and saw what Aggie was wearing. He stopped in his tracks, and his jaw dropped. Lars felt himself getting hard as he stared at his petite lover in her white lingerie. Lars stepped forward to get to the bed and tripped over the clothes he left on the floor.

Aggie moved to his side to see if he was hurt, Lars grabbed her, and kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Aggie remembered their first kiss and shuddered at the memory. After a second she reminded herself, this time Lars was kissing her, not mistaking her for someone else, and she kissed him back as her body melted against his.

Lars picked up Aggie and carried her to the bed. He laid her down and began to slide his hands all over her body. He played with her tits, kissing them through the material as he ran his hands over her legs, and up her thigh. As Lars kissed and bit Alpha, and Mu, his hand began to rub Aggie's wet pussy through her panties.

Aggie tried to stop Lars so that she could get naked, but he wouldn't let her. Once Lars could feel the moistness seeping through the material of her panties, he slipped his fingers past the elastic on the leg, and into her arousal. Aggie gasped as she felt his finger penetrate her folds, loving the sensations his fingers gave her. She laid back, and let Lars caress her insides as she ran her fingers through his hair, and moaned.

Lars tried to shift positions to keep in contact with Aggie while getting his rapidly swelling manhood some attention. Aggie was able to reach it and began to fondle it the same way she always did. Lars, realizing tonight would be the same as always, pushed the panties to the side, and entered her.

Aggie's body went rigid, "Yes, YEs, YES, OH MY GOD YES," she screamed, as her body began to thrash about uncontrollably. Lars continued thrusting deep, and fast as Aggie was deep into the throes of the most powerful orgasm she’d ever had.

When Aggie had recovered from her climax, she felt Lars was still thrusting into her, and that there was another orgasm building within her. Lars felt bigger than ever and was driving into her with an animalistic force Aggie loved. Lars had his eyes fixed onto Aggie's body, and his sweat was dripping onto her. Aggie was turned on by this and began to thrust her hips into Lars demanding that he go deeper, and fuck her harder.

Lars and Aggie had been reduced to animals with one goal in mind. For the first time, they weren't making love, they were fucking. This was base hard, fast, and powerful. Aggie just wanted to feel his cock spasm with his milk of life shooting into her, and Lars was almost there. Aggie reached down, and slipped her hand into her panties, and began to rub her clit trying to cum again before Lars shot his load into her.

Lars growled long and deep. The sound came from his chest and aroused Aggie even more. She felt his cock tighten up as it got ready to fill her. Aggie rubbed her clit harder, and faster, and her hand lightly caressed Lars for a moment. That was all it took. Lars' growl turned into a full howl as his cock began to jerk, and spasm. The sensation of his shaft making those uncontrolled gyrations sent Aggie over the edge, and she joined the howl, cumming even harder than before as Lars emptied himself into her. Lars collapsed, spent, and drained. He was soon asleep. Aggie had just enough strength to roll on her side before she fell asleep, drained from the intensity of her two orgasms.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Aggie woke up and couldn’t feel Lars pressed against her, and she felt lonely. She quietly went into the bathroom, peeled off the sticky, sweaty baby doll, and panties. She washed clean, relieved her bladder. Then she put on one of the complimentary robes the resort provided. Returning to the bedroom, she realized that she wanted Lars inside her again. She climbed back into bed, dropping the robe onto the floor. She reached for his manhood, pleased to find that it was semi-erect.

She wrapped her hand around it and tried to stroke it to full hardness. Unfortunately, the earlier session had left it all sticky, gooey, and glue-like. Aggie was disgusted and pulled her hand away as she climbed off the bed and soon returned with a warm damp washcloth. On her way back to Lars, she saw her makeup case. She opened it and took out a small bottle of baby oil. She got back into bed and began to clean him thoroughly with the washcloth.

Once all the gooey mess was gone, she poured baby oil on her hands, and started to stroke Lars' shaft with long slow strokes, trying to get it firm enough to be inside her. Lars moaned in his sleep and shifted his hips around as she continued to stroke his growing cock. Lars was still a little drunk, and mostly asleep. He had no idea what was going on, he just knew he didn't want it to stop. He felt Aggie try to pull him on top of her, and he decided to feign sleep to see if she would climb on and ride him.

Aggie continued to stroke her lover's shaft but was unable to get him on top of her. Feeling desperate, she straddled his body, kneeling over him. Lars felt the bed shift and opened his eyes a crack. When he saw her in this position a smile flitted across his face. Aggie lowered herself onto him, using her body, and legs she was able to get Lars to roll on his side, his cock half-buried in her.

"If you want more," she said, seeing Lars's eyes open, "then mount me properly."

Lars mentally cursed, as they shifted into their only lovemaking position, missionary. He began slowly, and lovingly sliding in, and out of Aggie while kissing her tenderly. Aggie caressed his body, looked into his eyes, and breathed deeply. She enjoyed the feeling of the powerful pole inside her and the weight of her man on top of her.

As Lars continued to thrust into her, Aggie realized that she was head over heels in love with him and that she would marry him tomorrow, if he asked. Lars kept thrusting and leaned down to suck on Alpha. Aggie whispered, "Lars, I love you."

Between being drunk, and half asleep, her words didn't register with Lars. He rocked his hips, and gently nibbled on Alpha while his other hand reached for Mu. Aggie gasped as he bit one nipple, and pinched the other. Lars released her nipples and kissed Aggie again as he reached his orgasm. Aggie felt Lars stop thrusting, roll-off her, and was instantly asleep. Aggie was worried something had happened but was couldn’t get Lars to wake up. She didn't realize that between the booze, and the power of his earlier climaxes, Lars had had a very weak orgasm.

Aggie snuggled up against the warm naked body, of the man she loved, kissed the back of his neck, and laid awake the rest of the night, worried that her profession of love had scared him and that’s why he stopped making love and didn’t respond to her admission of love.

When Lars woke up in the morning, Aggie was in the shower. Lars got up and took some aspirin for his headache. He felt ravenous. Looking at the clock, he understood why. It was 1:30 in the afternoon. Aggie got out of the shower and walked into the room wearing her new Bikini. It was fairly conservative for a regular American beach, never mind for a clothing-optional resort. It was all black, and the top tied around the neck, and back. The bottoms were one piece, no ties, and pretty much covered everything.

Lars leered at Aggie, and she giggled, "Let's go eat lunch, and then go to the pool."

"Sounds like a plan, I'm famished," Lars said, and quickly took care of his morning ablutions. As they left the room Aggie grabbed some towels. "The hotel provides towels at the pool, and beach, so guests can keep towels in their rooms," Lars told her. So Aggie put down the towels, and they left the room, hand in hand.

They went to the dining room wearing their swimsuits, and sandals. They ate and talked about school and their professors. Once they finished eating, they walked hand in hand to the pool area. "I just want to catch some rays now," Aggie said, "and maybe soak in the hot tub later," as she put her cell phone, earbuds, and room key in a waterproof pouch that hung around her neck.

"I want to do some laps to help get rid of this hangover," Lars said.

"Before that, can you rub some suntan lotion on me?" she asked. Lars smiled in agreement and spent almost an hour "rubbing" lotion into Aggie's supple flesh. The warm sun, fresh air, and powerful hands working on her exposed flesh relaxed Aggie to the point she fell asleep. hen he realized Aggie was down for the count, Lars slipped off his sandals and took a running dive into the deep end of the pool. Lars swam laps for almost forty minutes before taking a break, to rehydrate. While he sipped some non-alcoholic fruity concoction, a resort employee came around offering guests a free para-sailing session if they left for the beach right now. It was a new service at the resort, and they needed some promo pictures for marketing purposes. Lars glanced at Aggie who was still asleep and agreed to go.
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“Princess... a princess...wake up before you burn.”

Aggie's eyes slowly opened and she felt a hand on her shoulder lightly shaking her.

“Sorry to disturb you, I was afraid you’d burn.”

“Oh! Thank you,” Aggie said smiling at the young resort employee. as she rolled over.

She began scanning the pool area for Lars but didn't see him anywhere. She figured he was in the bar getting a hair of the dog and would be back soon. She stood up and stretched, she found that she had slept in an awkward position, and had a kink in her neck, her back muscles were sore, and she was stiff all over. Looking around again for Lars and not seeing him anywhere, she headed over to the hot tub. She sank gratefully into the hot water, lowering her almost naked body to her neck.

As soon as she sat down, Muhunnad walked over. ‘He's wearing even less today,’ Aggie thought, ‘he hasn’t started to perspire yet.’ Stepping into the tub, Muhunnad said, "Well hello, Aggie. So very nice to see you again. Where’s Lars?"

Aggie swallowed hard trying not to stare at his shaft. ‘That thing is thicker than my wrist and longer than my foot’ she thought, before replying. "He should be here any minute with our drinks," she replied, feeling nervous being alone with a naked man.

Muhunnad sat down across from her and sighed. "I truly love this place. I just retired and moved here. This is paradise," he sighed contentedly.

Aggie, unsure how to respond to a naked man she barely knew, asked; "You live here full time?"

Muhunnad chuckled as he replied, "I have a cottage a few miles away. I can't afford to live here full-time, but the annual pass is reasonable... What’s that,” he asked, pointing to a piece of black material floating near Aggie.

Aggie and Muhunnad watched as the material got smaller and smaller until it disappeared before either of them could grab it. Aggie wondered about the black fabric, as she felt that her breasts were not as secure in her top as they had been. She reached down to adjust the top of her suit when she felt something tickling her leg.

Jumping up she screamed, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Heads whipped around looking at the naked girl standing in the hot tub, screaming at the shocked black man sitting there with a bewildered look on his face. A breeze kicked up, and Aggie felt the wind blowing across her nipples, which were standing up loud, and proud, and across her exposed womanhood. Looking down, she screamed and tried to cover herself as she ran for the safety of her room.

"Ciṭē kukaṛa a..." Muhunnad muttered as he reached into his day pack, and pulled out a Cuban Cohiba Behike 54, that according to legend is rolled on the thighs of female virgins.

As Aggie streaked through the lobby, wearing nothing but the waterproof pouch, she saw a mannequin wearing the same suit she used to own. Grabbing a towel off a nearby cart, she marched into the gift shop, about to raise hell with the clerk, when she read the banner over the display.

Water Soluble Bikini - Dissolves in 3 min

€39.99

Aggie saw red and was ready to kill. The clerk on duty looked up, and Aggie controlling her fury, barely, asked, "Did the guy in room nine-six-nine buy one of these last night?"

"If he's the tall, blond, drunk, American who comes here every few months, then yes, yes he did," the clerk told Aggie. Looking a the display, she saw that the bikini came in a box with a large yellow circle, and the bold black words WATER SOLUBLE on the box, she completely lost control of her anger.
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Lars returned from Para-sailing, having made some new friends. As they pulled into the resort, he wondered why security was forcibly removing Muhunnad from the property. Figuring it was none of his business, Lars headed to his room to rinse the saltwater from his body. As he passed the pool, he saw that the lounge chair Aggie had been napping in was empty.

Lars used his card key to try, and open the door, and found the security latch was on. "Aggie, hon, it's me. Open the door." He could see her sitting on the bed. She didn't move at the sound of his voice. "Aggie, it's Lars, are you okay?"

Aggie turned her head, and Lars took an involuntary step backward, seeing the look of icy hatred on her face. Aggie stood up, and walked stiffly to the door, and pushed it closed. When it didn't open again, Lars used his key card and found the security latch still on.

"Aggie, this isn't funny. I need to pee, and get this suit off." Aggie appeared in the crack of the door and stared at Lars with a look of utter loathing on her face. "Is there a problem?" he asked, figuring he was in trouble for leaving her alone at the pool.

"The bathing suit was evil. Too bad you weren't there to see it," Aggie hissed at him. "I never want to see you again. Either get me a flight out today, ALONE, or get yourself another room," and she closed the door.

"What about the bathing suit?" Lars asked in confusion. "Aggie, can I at least get some clothes?" he asked, opening the door yet again.

Aggie looked him up, and down, and said, "Go around naked like I did," and slammed the door in his face. Before Lars could try to open the door again, he heard something being pushed in front of it. When he tried to open it, it wouldn't budge. No matter what he said, or how hard he knocked there was no further response from the room.

Not entirely sure what Aggie was so upset about and why she had to run around naked, he went down to the Gift Shop to see if he could find an answer there. Lars walked into the shop and stopped dead in his tracks. He saw the banner he hadn't noticed through the alcoholic induced haze. As soon as he saw the sign he knew exactly why Aggie was so pissed.

He ran to the closest house phone and tried calling his room. There was no answer. He walked up to the front desk the clerk addressed him, "Mr. Hardy, your companion called down and said you were no longer welcome in her room until she's on a plane. I took the liberty of trying to find a flight for her, but everything is sold out for the next few days. I was able to put you in a different room. Of course, there will be additional charges for the second room."

Lars waved his hand at the fee, "What about my clothes?" Lars asked, hoping that security could get him into the room so he could talk to Aggie.

"Well, you can go naked if you don't get them," the desk clerk chuckled. Lars looked at him in annoyance. "Of course, we will try to get them for you as soon as possible," he added hastily.

Aggie remained in her room for the rest of their vacation speaking to no one. Lars spent the whole time trying to get word to her that it was an accident. He even had a bellhop deliver a letter to her. It was returned to him shredded to confetti. When it came time to check out, Aggie was gone before Lars woke up. He figured he would be able to talk to her on the flight home. He had to try, and make her understand that it was a drunken mistake, another drunken mistake he admitted to himself.

When Lars got to the airport, he was running late, and Aggie had already boarded the aircraft. When he boarded, he saw that Aggie was sitting next to some ‘Karen’ type middle-aged lady. Lars checked his ticket and saw that he was in row seven, and Aggie was seated in row two.

Lars stopped and tried to speak to Aggie, the Karen next to her looked at him, and asked very loudly, "Is this the asshole?" Aggie nodded and turned her head away to look out the window.

Before Lars could say anything else, a flight attendant walked up to him, "You need to take your seat, sir," The last word dripping venom.

"My girlfriend and I were supposed to be seated together," he told her, as he held up his ticket, still hoping to talk to Aggie.

"Your EX-girlfriend, told us how you brought her to a nudist resort without warning her, then gave her a bikini that dissolves in water, and left her alone to be groped, and fondled by strangers while you were nowhere to be found," she said, staring at him coldly.

"I was drunk when I bought it, I didn't see the sign," Lars tried to defend himself, " Wait...WHAT!? Groped? Who?" Lars asked in confusion.

The flight attendant and Aggie's neighbor exchanged glances, and the flight attendant said, "Sir, go to your seat, and stay there! If you get up to do anything but use the bathroom, I'll have you removed from this aircraft, in mid-flight if necessary."

Lars looked at her for a moment and saw that she was serious. He sat down, and stared at Aggie’s seat the entire flight home, as he desperately tried to figure out how to salvage their relationship. When the plane landed, Lars jumped up before the seat belt sign was off, hoping to get to Aggie and talk to her. As soon as he was in the aisle, a burly man tackled him and put handcuffs on him. Lars was escorted in a holding cell at the airport.

Forty-five minutes later, a man in a suit walks in.”Mr. Hardy, I am Detective Foley. You were detained for violating FAA regulation 14 C.F.R. 121.317(k) Failure to obey a crewmember.”

“I...” Lars was quickly interrupted.

“Let me finish! After speaking with the flight crew, he Air Marshall that detained you, and the available witnesses it was decided that there will be no criminal charges filed and no civil penalties will be imposed. You’re free to go.”

Lars stands up and grabs the doorknob, as he opens the door, Detective Foley says, “Your Ex has already gotten into a cab and left. No reason for you to stay here. Have a good day.”

For the rest of the summer, Lars did everything he could to contact Aggie. Aggie ignored every attempt.
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