Jokes and GigglesChapter 113
- 4 years ago
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Southbound Ch. 15-16 free porn video
Originally edited by ErikThread and DaveT with my thanks. I have since massaged it somewhat, so any errors are mine alone.
*****
Chapter 15 Without a Hitch
‘Good morning, Mr. Andrews, it’s Oren Kavanagh. I thought you should know that I had a call from a Mr. Brant Morrisey in Los Angeles, representing Messers Ventriss. He has assured me that they will forthwith cease to spread ‘misinformation’ as he called it, about Flex-Tek. Will that be to your satisfaction?’
‘Only if he puts it in writing,’ I said. ‘I want a copy of it to circulate to anyone who they have been in contact with.’
‘Goes without saying, Mr. Andrews. I’ll make sure the statement meets our needs and forward a copy directly to you.’
‘Thanks, and it’s Andy, Oren. I think we’ve done enough business together now to be on a first name basis.’
‘Yes, of course. I hope this ends your problems, Andy.’
‘Me too. I think the letter will help if we run into any doubting customers.’
I called Leo and let him know what had transpired. He was pleased that it was handled well and that we got the result we wanted.
By the end of May, all of the new equipment was installed and operational. We hadn’t yet reached optimum performance on the new pouch machine, but that was to be expected. It was a very complex piece of equipment and it had to be set up exactly right for the film to form the pouch correctly at the speeds we were expecting. Nonetheless, we were producing good product and had taken a big load off Langley at the same time.
‘East Bay is still having problems setting the filter inside the Keurig cup,’ Fiona reported. ‘Our press and slitter are waiting to produce more product, but our customer is having a technical problem that’s holding back their production.’
‘Can I make a suggestion?’ I asked. ‘Ask Grant if we could have Wick look at the machine. He’s good at problem solving. He may be able to help them. We could take the video camera over there and see what’s really going on with it.’
‘Great! I’ll call Maureen right away. Are you sure it’s okay with Wick?’
‘Yeah… pretty sure. I’ll talk to him. Getting him away from the pouch machine would probably be a good idea right now.’
In fact, Wick was happy to be helping a customer. A short while later, I had a call back from Fiona.
‘That was quick,’ I said. ‘Grant’s okay with us getting involved?’
‘More than okay. He was beginning to think it wasn’t going to get solved. He’ll take any help he can get. What about Wick?’
‘I was right. It’ll be a relief to get off the pouch machine for a while. You arrange for the timing and he’ll be there.’
Fiona led Wick to East Bay later that afternoon. She was late for supper that night. Tina and I were on our own. My fiancée didn’t show up until nearly ten o’clock, looking tired.
‘So… what happened?’ I asked as she came into the kitchen.
‘I think Wick’s got if figured out. By tomorrow morning we’ll start up and see if the filters seat themselves properly. That was the main problem and so all our efforts were in that direction. Mind you, we spilled a lot of coffee on the plant floor getting to that point,’ she grinned.
‘Okay, make sure you keep Grant informed.’
‘No problem with that. He was there with us all the way. I think we got some serious brownie points today.’
‘Well, let’s keep our fingers crossed that Wick’s got it solved.’
‘Have you done this before? I mean, lending our people out to help customers with their equipment?’
‘Sure. It’s all part of the service. There are some things we can’t help with, but any time we can be of use, we try and make the service available.’
She looked at me and shook her head. ‘Damn that’s good to hear. We can’t miss, Andy. We just can’t.’
Wick and Fiona were back in our plant the next afternoon. I knew they were coming because I had a very nice phone call from Grant Loren telling me that they were now in production on the coffee pods and Flex-Tek was the reason. He thanked me for making Wick available and for going the extra mile. Those are the kind of phone calls I’ll take any day of the week.
We had heard no more from the Ventriss family and we had the letter from their lawyer outlining the agreement to cease and desist. Nothing was coming back from the customers, so we assumed that little exercise in harassment was over.
That evening, Fiona walked into the kitchen, took a large, red marker pen, flipped the calendar to July, and circled the 14th. She turned to me.
‘See that? That’s our big day. West Langley United Church. Don’t be late,’ she laughed.
‘So… after all the discussion, it’s finally decided when we get married. Hallelujah!’ I cried in celebration, folding Fiona into my arms.
‘What about the reception?’ I asked.
‘Taken care of. Leo insisted.’
‘Leo? Wow, that’s a surprise.’ Leo and Bernice lived on acreage south near the U.S. border. A large two storey home with and huge back deck and grassed area. It was ideal for the reception.
‘Not according to Bernice. She said he’s strutting around like a rooster, telling everyone how smart he was to put you in charge of Tracy.’
‘You’ve been talking to Bernice?’
‘I have. She’s the chief hen in the henhouse. I told you, I’m marrying into royalty.’
I shook my head in disbelief. It seemed impossible that it had been barely six months since we had met and I had been lassoed like a lonesome steer. A few months of the single life and I was already destined for domestic life once more. There was a difference, however. I was going willingly, without hesitation, happily.
‘I’ve made the plane reservations for the five of us,’ she said. ‘We go from Oakland to Seattle, then to Vancouver. Okay?’
‘Sure. Where are we staying?’ I asked.
‘You will stay at your parents’ place. My parents, Tina and I will stay at Leo and Bernice’s home.’
‘This is all arranged, is it?’ I asked, wondering why I hadn’t heard anything about this.
‘What do you think our mothers and Bernice have been doing for the last month? You just sit back and let us handle it, dear. I’m sure you’ll be happy with the way everything turns out,’ she said with an air of confidence.
‘So, I don’t get to sleep with you until we’re married, is that it?’
‘You can handle a couple of nights on your own, big boy. Just remember, I’m being deprived too.’
‘Okie dokie,’ I said with a decided lack of enthusiasm.
Fiona made sure I knew what I was going to be missing later that evening.
~***~
‘There’s a Mr. Simon Rheinstad to see you, Andy,’ Donna announced over the intercom. ‘He’s from the INS.’
I had a brief moment when I wondered what we might have done wrong, but nothing came to mind. I got up and went out to the reception area.
‘Mr. Rheinstad?’
‘Yes, and you are Gordon Andrews, General Manager of this plant?’
‘That right. How can I help you?’
‘I have a federal authorization to check you employee files and interview some of your employees regarding their citizenship status.’
‘I don’t understand. All the documentation on our employees has been filed with your office as recently as April. What has changed?’
‘We received some information that there may be illegal immigrants working in your plant. We are duty bound to investigate the allegation,’ he said in an officious tone.
‘May I ask who gave you that information?’
‘No. Under the whistle blower act, we cannot divulge the identity of the person or persons.’
‘Well, nothing has changed since we last filed the report, so I’ll have that file brought to you.’
‘Thank you. I appreciate you cooperation.’
Donna pulled the file and handed it to me and I took it to Rheinstad. I showed him to a small open office and left him to peruse our file. I was worried, but
I wasn’t sure about what.
Donna offered him a coffee but he declined with thanks. An hour later he came out of the office and handed the file back to me.
‘I don’t see anything out of order here. I’d like to spend some time on the plant floor and talk to some of the employees. Who can help me with that?’
‘I’ll ask our plant manager, Bobby Lee Turpin, to do that. I’ll have him paged.’
Ten minutes later a surprised Bobby Lee guided Mr. Rheinstad to the production floor after having him don a hair net and smock. It was mandated apparel for all visitors and staff.
It was almost lunch time when the two reappeared in the office and I saw Rheinstad shake Bobby Lee’s hand and thank him. That was a good sign in my book.
‘I don’t know why anyone filed that complaint, Mr. Andrews, but I can find no evidence that your employees and your employment records are not completely in compliance with the act. I will write a formal report closing this file and rejecting the complaint. Thank you again for you cooperation.’
‘You’re welcome,’ I said, wondering what the hell had just happened.
I sat at my desk thinking about who might have thought we were using illegal immigrants in our plant. Then it hit me: Rod and/or Rob Ventriss. The whistle-blower legislation prevented their names from being revealed, so they could make these accusations without fear of discovery. I picked up the phone and left a message for Oren Kavanagh.
I had a talk with Bobby Lee and let him know that there was nothing to worry about after the INS inspection.
‘Ah dohn spose thay would be. I bin though this b’foe an I know wut thay lookin’ fo. We dohn have illegals here and we ain’t gunna have none neither.’
Bobby Lee’s accent had become more pronounced, telling me he was agitated by the visit and the accusation.
‘Calm down, Bobby Lee. I have a feeling this is right out of the Ventriss dirty tricks bag. I’ve got a call in for our lawyer and I’ll see if I can find out if it’s them. If it is, we’ll sue their sorry ass,’ I spat.
That brought a big smile to Bobby Lee, despite the fact that he had never laid eyes on either Ventriss. He knew of them by reputation from the other plant people.
Oren couldn’t think of any way to find out if the Ventrisses had filed the accusation with the INS. It was a federal government department and worked to a hard and fast set of rules. We would just have to be satisfied that we had passed and could expect no further trouble from them.
A week later, we had a call from the California Environmental Protection Agency requesting a meeting that same afternoon. I wasn’t about to say no, but I alerted Bobby Lee and Wick that they were coming. I was getting the distinct feeling that we were a target for someone, and that someone was named Ventriss.
‘Mr. Pride is here to see you, Andy,’ Donna announced.
I walked out to the reception area and welcomed Mr. Richard Pride, Field Inspection Department, California Environmental Protection Agency.
‘How can I help you, Mr. Pride?’
‘We’ve had a report that your firm has an unsecured hazardous materials area. I will need to inspect the plant to determine what remedies need to be taken.’
‘Your department has already inspected our plant in early March and found us to be well within your guidelines. However, we will certainly cooperate with you. I doubt you’ll find anything out of order,’ I said, a tinge of anger in my voice. ‘Can I ask who filed this complaint?’
‘I’m not a liberty to disclose that, Mr. Andrews. All complainants’ identities are kept confidential.’
‘I understand, but I do have a question when you finish your inspection. Please come and see me before you leave.’
‘Certainly,’ he agreed, as we waited once more for Bobby Lee to conduct the tour.
Oren Kavanagh had made a worthwhile suggestion when we discussed the possibility that the INS inspection was provoked by the Ventriss men. I waited impatiently for Mr. Pride to return.
It must have been a thorough inspection because it was almost two hours later that Bobby Lee and Richard Pride returned to my office. As had been the case with the INS, I saw the inspector thank our man for his help.
‘Can I assume you found everything in order?’ I asked.
‘Yes. There is absolutely no substance to the complaint. You are in complete conformance in your storage and use of hazardous materials.’
‘I know you can’t tell us the name of the person… or persons… who filed the complaint, but I do have a question. What if you learned that the person… or persons… filing the complaint was doing it as a method of harassment?’
‘We’d take that very seriously, I assure you. It is difficult to prove, but our resources are limited and being sent off on a wild goose chase is very frustrating. This inspection was a waste of both your and my time.’
I reached down into my bottom desk drawer and pulled out a piece of paper.
‘This is a copy of a letter from a Los Angeles law firm stating that the named individuals in this letter will cease and desist spreading misinformation about our firm. You might want to know if the named individuals were the same as those who filed the complaint.’
Mr. Pride scanned the letter and I saw his eyes widen as he read it. I suspected he recognized the names.
‘Leave this with me, Mr. Andrews. May I keep this?’
I nodded. ‘Certainly.’
‘My apologies for disturbing your day, but I suspect we might be able to put an end to this… problem. Thank you again for alerting us to this situation. I assure you, we will take action.’
‘Thank you, Mr. Pride. I’m pleased you found everything as it should be.’
When I saw our visitor drive out of the parking lot, I punched in Oren’s phone number and left a message. I was sure he’d call me back. Sure enough, ten minutes later he was on the line.
‘So… did our strategy work?’ Oren asked, coming right to the point.
‘Better than we guessed. If I’m any good at reading facial expression, he recognized the Ventriss name and I saw him stiffen when he realized he was being used. If I were him, I wouldn’t play poker.’
‘I think your troublesome family is going to go away now. I doubt a state agency is going to be happy about their little game. I wonder who else they might have called?’
‘I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I hope that’s the end of it.’
‘Let me know if it continues. We may file suit anyway, just to harass them.’
‘I just want it to go away, Oren. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, and I don’t need the aggravation.’
‘Understood. Good luck and stay in touch.’
I sat back once more, wondering if it really was over with.
~***~
I hired Tina as an intern/gopher for the summer. The pay was small, but she was happy to have a job and what she did earn gave her money that didn’t come from her mother’s pocket. I didn’t need to worry about her getting along with the staff. Her personality made that a foregone conclusion.
She would be a senior in high school next fall and I thought at some point she might need her own transportation when she graduated. She hadn’t decided on which college she would attend, despite her mother assuring her that within reason, cost would not be an issue.
Our wedding would be one month after she was out of school for the summer. Tina was looking forward to going back to Vancouver and spending a few days with my family.
Chapter 16 Church Bells
You’ve probably heard the phrase about weddings going off without a hitch? Well, not ours. Let me see if I can catalogue all the hitches.
First, the flight from Oakland to Seattle was delayed when our plane had a mechanical problem, causing us to miss our connection. As a consequence, we didn’t arrive in Vancouver until late Wednesday evening, exhausted from sitting around and worrying about when we would act
ually get there. Thank goodness for cell phones. We were able to warn the reception party and prevent them from hours of hanging around the Vancouver airport waiting for us to arrive.
Second, one piece of luggage was missing when we finally got to Vancouver. Naturally, it was the one with my tuxedo, not to mention my toiletries and other apparel. The luggage was found in the unclaimed area in SeaTac airport and we finally got it delivered late the following afternoon.
Third, on the day of the wedding, the limousine that was to bring Fiona, her mother and my parents got lost and was a half-hour late picking them up. Phil, Leo, Dad, Angus, Neal and I stood around tapping our toes waiting for the big moment. I could see Reverend Ames looking at his watch, wondering if he was going to have to delay the next wedding, scheduled not long after ours. At least cell phone communications let us know of the problem and we didn’t worry unnecessarily that Fiona had suffered a change of heart.
Fourth, someone had left the outer doors open to the vestry and as the service neared its end, we began to have people peering into the church, wondering what was going on. Naturally, the giant wooden doors creaked noisily whenever they were opened, disturbing the ceremony. It would have been funny if everyone wasn’t so uptight with all the delays.
As a final finishing touch to this comedy of errors, the limousine driver wasn’t able to park near the church because the party for next wedding had taken up all the temporary spots. The entire wedding party had to walk almost a block to get to our transportation.
I should have been upset, I suppose, but it was such a bizarre set of circumstances that it was hard to be angry. I stopped halfway to the limousine and turned to Fiona.
‘Do you believe this? Can you imagine anything like this happening?’
I could see the smile on Fiona’s face and within seconds we were laughing. I pulled her into me and kissed her right in the middle of her outburst. It was a deep, passionate kiss and far more sensual than the light peck we shared at the altar. We were man and wife and that was all that mattered.
Our laughter seemed to be contagious as my father, Fiona’s mother and father, Bernice and several of the guests were now laughing at the entire debacle. We ultimately made it to the Cornell home and the party began. I think the main topic of conversation was the whole crazy afternoon. The phrase ‘without a hitch’ became the trigger to elicit more laughter and stories about wedding party bungles. It seemed after listening to a few, weddings without a hitch were much less frequent than we were led to believe.
Our brief mini-honeymoon was celebrated at a lovely riverside lodge just east of Mission on the north side of the Fraser River. It was warm and generally sunny, happily not raining as that would have put the frosting on the cake as far as the day went. But Fiona and I were fine. We were where we wanted to be, in each other’s arms.
I can’t say I felt any different married than single, except it was that secure sensation that comes with knowing the anticipation had ended and we were together for the rest of our lives. I never had a doubt in my mind that I had found the woman I wanted to fill that role. That she was a valuable asset in our business was just a bonus.
We flew back to Oakland and this time the flight and the luggage arrived on schedule. I drove Fiona’s parents home before we headed to ours. I thought that Tina had been unusually quiet since the wedding. I wondered what, if anything, might be bothering her. I chose not to raise the issue, hoping she would return to her usual bubbling self in a day or so. That turned out to be the case.
Tina had now confirmed that I was ‘Dad’ and that was how she chose to address me. I recounted the conversation after our engagement I had with her to Fiona. I was happy that she didn’t have any objection to her daughter’s choice of titles. Besides, I was proud to call Tina my daughter. She was a lively, bright, beautiful young woman and made her parents and grandmother proud of her.
Tina had her own laptop and I discovered she had Skype loaded on it and was using that and Facebook to communicate with her friends. It was a hell of a lot cheaper than the current cell phone rates. It was a couple of weeks after we had returned from Canada that I went up to see her about how she was enjoying her job as an intern at our office. Her door was partly open and I knocked lightly before entering.
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