Chapter 1
The year was 2002, it was summer and I wanted to take a canoe camping trip. There was no one I knew who would go with me except one.
Betty and I had met on the internet on a dating site. I had looked at her profile where she had posted a picture of herself. I looked at that picture and she looked like an old schoolmarm from the early 1900s. I read her profile, she had stated, “If you are looking for a real woman then look no further.” “Humpfff,” I thought to myself, ‘I’ll bet. She is probably so straight laced butter would not melt in her mouth.’ and closed it out. Never looked back just went to the next one and the next one sent a message to several and finally turned my PC off and went out to my shop to work on a project I had started.
A couple of months went by and the site Betty and I were on set up a compatibility program to assist us in picking a partner. I received this profile hit one evening and it said, “We are 80% compatible.” and some more stuff I forgot what. I looked at this message for a few moments and thought, ‘I bet that is that old schoolmarm.’ I pulled up her profile and sure enough it was. “Humpfff” and closed it out.
I was looking at some others and sending messages and a couple of weeks go by and I am not getting any replies, so I think, ‘heck I’m not getting anywhere and she lives in Kansas and here I am on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. 1900 miles or so apart, so what the heck, I’ll contact her. Should be safe enough. So I did.
Camping was not on my plate during this time, but fishing was and later in the fall hunting in Eastern Washington was coming up and I was in no hurry to get into anything serious. Betty hits me back a couple of days later and we begin typing messages back and forth and get into some interesting conversations.
Turns out Betty is no schoolmarm at all. Her picture looked kind of nice, not one that would attract much attention but nice smile. What transpired from that point you can read in another story I posted.
Well I was saying I wanted to go on a canoe camping trip and no one around wanted to go with me. My mind wandered toward Kansas and I sent Betty a message and asked if she would like to see some of the Columbia River from a canoe. She was all for that right off. And I sent her half her airfare and she supplied the rest.
She said she had a pop-tent that should be great for us and I told her she could only pack 35 pounds of personal gear and to bring her tent. (That tent proved to be quite small, almost too small). It was a k**s backyard kind of thing. If it had been any smaller either our feet would stick out or our heads. With luck on our side it did afford just enough space so we could get all of us inside and room to set our clothing to one side and no more.
I hooked up my travel trailer and packed everything for the trip. Drove to Tacoma to Dash Point State Park just north of there and set up in a camp site. Drove to Sea-Tac to meet Betty’s flight and headed for the terminal. As I sat down at the gate she was to arrive at I opened the newspaper to read while waiting. Checked the weather report and read the comics section and some of the news. Her flight arrived on time and she came walking off and as she approached me she was all smiles and carrying her carry on bag. We hugged and kissed like old lost lovers, which was not too far off the truth for that matter. This would be our second meeting. The first you can read on an earlier posting.
I asked if she were hungry and got a negative so we headed for baggage claim, picked up the rest of her luggage and tramped on out to my truck and drove to the park.
I had planned to stay there for the night as I did not want to be driving The mountain pass at night.
Once Betty’s gear was stowed I fixed something to eat and Betty headed for the showers after while I washed dishes. There was still plenty of daylight so I took her to the park beach and picked up some drift stuff while renewing our acquaintance. The air temperature began turning cool so we headed back to the trailer. Once there we sat on the divan holding and kissing each other until we could not stand to be in our clothes, they had to go. Didn’t take long for us to become nude and we got on the bed and began fondling each other. It wasn’t long before she found my hardon and began stroking it and I was fondling her tits sucking on her nipples alternating time to time and found her pussy and was fingering it sliding my fingers along her slit until I felt some moisture.
I pulled my hand away and tasted her on my fingers and she tasted every bit as good as the first time we were together. I began kissing down her chest and around her belly button and on down to her slit.
Licking along her slit I could taste her juices on my tongue and sucked in one of her lips letting my tongue enter her slit to find her love tunnel opening missing her clit and sucked on it lightly.
In the mean time she had sucked my cock into her mouth and was working her magic on it. Gawd the felt so damn good. I dove right onto her clit and licked and sucked it and ran my tongue down to her love tunnel opening and back to her clit. Gawd she had a strong orgasm and her legs clamped around my head, like a wrestlers head clamp, holding me tight and close with my nose nearly in her rosebud, but my tongue was still mobile and I was driving her crazy as she seemed to be having an ongoing orgasm bucking into my face hard like a bucking bronco. Her pussy juice was flowing freely not really gushing but more like it was free-flowing. I could feel her stomach tightening and relaxing and retightening.
I was not going to last much longer but already knew she wanted me to shoot my load into her mouth. Been there before when she was in total control and she swallowed it then, so I was good to go. Gawd she could suck super good. I unloaded a huge amount as it had been a very long time since I had a BJ. Betty just seemed to hum on my dick as she sucked it until there just was no more.
I went back to licking and sucking and stuck two fingers into her cunt and found her sweet spot and worked it and tickled her clit strumming it with my tongue like it was a banjo string and my tongue was a guitar pick trying to make it sing one continuously note. Gawd did she explode, her pussy juice just came out like someone had opened a water tap to full flow. My mouth was filled almost faster than I could keep up with it as I began sucking on her love tunnel opening like I was thirsting for moisture and needed a lot of it or die from dehydration.
Finally she dropped her butt back down on the bed and pushed me away, she had become too sensitive for me to keep on stimulating her cunt and clit. I sat back on my thighs and licked my lips wiped the rest of my face with my fingers and sucked them in my mouth tasting her sweetness, as she lay there gasping like a fish out of water, gasping for air until she got her breathing under control again.
As we lay there together holding tightly to each other feeling flesh against flesh, I asked if she was doing OK. I got the assurance she was well pleasured for the moment.
We were kissing again Frenching, our legs entangled, arms wrapped tightly around each other so as to not lose each other. But then where would naked people go to? This was no nudist park, just did not want to break contact ever it seemed.
Betty began searching for my dick and fond it kind of soft and began fondling it bringing it back to life little by little. I had one finger diddling her cunt lips and slipping in between them off and on finding her love tunnel entrance and her clit running my finger around it and then retreating out along the lips.
She began pushing her pelvis toward me and backed away and thrust back again, her breathing getting more rapid little by little, my breathing was following right along with her’s, my dick was getting stiffer with her playing. I reached the point where I could not stand it any longer and rolled her onto her back. As she rolled her legs spread and her knees came up creating a space for me to line up my dick with her love tunnel and enter by just dropping my hips down. Gawd did that feel good (GOOD is just an euphemism that just does not really say what it feels like. Anyone who has never fucked while making love would hardly understand). There was no way I could have not drawn back and thrust in again slowly as it was just involuntary on my part. That action just happens like water will always run down hill. There is no stopping that from happening by your willing it to stop when the heat of sexual lust has peaked.
We had a rhythm going that was like something we had practiced forever it seems. Betty was rolling her head back and forth stopping when our mouths contacted and tongues met. Her hips were rising to meet mine as they dropped down pressing hard into her and our pelvises ground hard together on contact. She had another orgasm stronger it seemed than her first. That drove me over the edge and I pushed hard into her and pinned her to the bed as my orgasm exploded and I shot my semen into her. Gawd it was intense, I lost my senses, “GAWD Betty, OH MY GAWD MY GAWD,” I yelled as her cunt walls squeezed my cock milking it for every drop. I thought my back bone had gone out the end of my cock. I fell exhausted on top of her as she grabbed me holding me tightly against her so it was impossible to pull out.
“Gawd sweetheart leave it in there don’t you dare pull out now. You feel so good in there, its exactly where you should be. My gawd that was sooooo gooood, you just do not know how good that was for me.”
I lay there on top of her my dick shrinking and dripping the remnants of cum into her pussy. We were sweating the air was starting to feel cool. Betty was not feeling anything like that with me covering her. I had to tell her I was getting cold. She let me up and I grabbed a couple hand towels to wipe with handing her one before I turned the bedding back. When we were covered up we were still flesh to flesh and exhausted for now.
We fell asleep in each others arms and slept until around 3 AM. I woke with an urge to pee and got out of bed. As I did I had to go over the top of Betty waking her. “Wuhhh, you getting up?”
“Yes. Gotta pee Hun. Back in a minuet.”
When I had finished I returned to the bedroom and Betty got up to relieve herself. When she got back in bed it was like the tryst had not been finished. We were right back at each other for a repeat performance. That did not last as long as it had just as we got on the bed last evening but it was intense.
Some time around 6 AM we were both awake almost like we had practiced waking together. It was uncanny the way our timing seemed to be. As we lay there we were fondling kissing and looking into each others eyes like the lovers we had become.
I got up and turned the furnace up a few degrees and before long tossed the bedding back and was going down on her to see how she tasted for breakfast. She grabbed one of my legs and pulled me on top of her to get my dick into her mouth. I was hard already and she wanted my cock and what it had to offer. I wanted to taste that wet pussy again and it was wet. We just began eating each other, no other preliminaries were needed. We were both ready our lust in full bloom. Betty got off first and I just kept sucking and nibbling and sucking her pussy getting all her juice into my mouth swallowing it all.
Then I raised my head and, “OH GAWD, OH GAWD Betty,” I shot my load into her mouth yet one more time and collapsed on top of her with my mouth still covering her love tunnel opening and my tongue digging as deep as it would go.
Chapter 2
We finally got up put on just enough clothing to keep from getting arrested and headed for the showers. Women one side of the building, men the other. So nothing was ever going to happen there.
When I had finished I walked back to our nest on wheels, Betty was not here yet, I began getting stuff out for breakfast and set the table then began cooking our meals on wheels - Betty returned about then, we kissed as she passed by on her way to put on traveling clothes - I kept up with food prep. Both the food and Betty were ready at the same time so we sat down to eat. Betty asked how long I had owned my pussy den on wheels and I told her just over 6 years. I had bought it 9 years after I retired - traveled to the Southern California desert every winter and back when the temperatures reached 80 in the desert and appeared to want to stay there.
She wanted to know where the Columbia River was and how long it would take to get there. We could travel south toward Portland or east toward Spokane. East was closer and the lower Columbia was not what I wanted to paddle anyway so I said, “It will take the best part of the day to where I want to put in and we will paddle up river to a nice camp ground where few people ever go. The only access is by water, there are no road access. We will make one more camp at Kettle Falls before we put the canoe in the water.”
“Are the falls very big there?” she ventured.
“No there are no falls there now. Once Coulee Dam was finished the river backed up flooding the falls, ruined a very good fishing spot for the native Americans who use to fish there about twice a year, no one ever took any pictures of them either - so as long as the dam remains they are lost to anyone who might have been interested.”
That made her frown.
I noticed it and told her the river has some very nice scenery and wild life and the trip on the river will be fairly easy to paddle so there are tradeoffs.
Having finished eating Betty said, “I will wash our dishes and you get ready. So I got out something to travel in and dressed. When finished I walked up behind Betty and wrapped my arms around her waiste and slid a hand down under her waist band under her panties found her pussy hair and slipped my finger into her love tunnel. It was wet by the time I reached my prize and slid my finger out and over her clit. She jumped back toward me and stopped as I pulled my hand out. I sucked her juices from my finger and kissed her on the nape of her neck - told her how good that tasted and I would be outside hooking the truck to the trailer and not to lock the door when she came out. With that I left.
Once I had double checked everything we were set, I drove off Betty setting beside me. The sun was well up and it was getting warm. Five hours later we were in Kettle Falls heading toward the river and the State Park to find a camp site. It was too early to worry about vacationers so there should be lots of empty first come first serve sites. I was right, we had our pick of about fifty sites. We could stay f******n days and I had a free veterans pass good for the time and registered. I could leave the trailer in a storage area there until we returned from the river.
I decided we should then go see if there were any orchards near by. The area is noted for peaches, apples, cherries, pears, plums and a few other kinds of fruit. Sure enough we found a peach orchard selling last years crop they had stored. Those were nearly as good as fresh due to the way they are stored.
Back at the trailer Betty was getting her panties wet and I had a boner pressing against my trousers. It was getting very uncomfortable for me. Once inside I unzipped my pants and Betty heard that and spun around reached through the fly and grabbed my cock still in my shorts and licked her lips. I undid my belt and the button and my pants fell to the floor. Betty let go and took her blouse off and then her slacks and I was right behind her as she headed for the bedroom and stripped the rest off. Needless to say I was following suite. We were both naked including our shoes and socks and on the bed hugging and kissing and fondling each others bodies like it was all brand new territory to us.
Gawd she felt good, so soft and warm and her tits though sagging some (comes with age) felt very nice and her nipples stood out proud as could be but pointed toward the floor. My dick wasn’t pointed that direction by any stretch. It was aimed up at about 45 degrees where if I didn’t move just right it would hit her belly button dead on.
We moved apart some and Betty pushed me indicating I was to be on my back - she wanted to dominate the day - I was willing as I knew she would be giving me pleasures unheard of. I roll easy on command when naked with a naked lady having her way with me. So there I am naked as a “Jay Bird” flat on my back with Betty hugin and a tonguein with her well experienced tongue to find the way as she moved south on my torso. She finally found pay dirt and was kissing and nibbling my dick - the pay dirt - then in one final push she had it in her mouth to the very base and more. Gawd she was good at deep-throating and that tongue of her’s was magic. In less than a minuet and I loaded her mouth so full I was sure it would not hold it all. But it did. Left me panting for air.
When I could breath again Betty was on top with her pussy right in my face kneeling with a knee on either side of my head and sitting so I either had to eat or suffocate. Not much choice and with a willing tongue what else was a guy to do? She leaned back a little giving me better access and she was already dripping vitamin C into my mouth. Good thing I had taste buds for her vitamin C or I’d have drown for sure. Betty was all primed to orgasm and almost before I started she squirted. Should have put a swim-nose plug on before she sat on my face. There was so much cum I was gasping for breath and not finding much air. Betty rolled off as soon as she noticed my predicament, and laughed at me as I rolled my head to one side.
That night was very much like our first night. Make love kissing, hugging, sucking and licking every protuberance and hole and fucking our brains out beginning at 9 PM then 2 AM and again at 6 AM.
After the 6 AM sex period that morning we drove to the trailer storage area and parked the trailer there and then to the boat dock setting the canoe on the grass where it could be slid it into the water when loaded along side the float. When everything was loaded in the canoe I slid it into the water and tied it to the float and drove the truck back to the storage area and parked it in front of my trailer - headed back to the float where Betty was waiting and had her get in the front end - paddle in hand. I pushed the canoe off the grass and stepped in and over the rear seat and sat down. We had drifted a little and I told Betty to begin paddling and I matched her stroke for stroke as we moved though the boat bay toward the open river.
Since the river is back-up water from the dam very little current was noticed, it was almost like a lake though there was some current and we could have drifted down stream if we had just sat there in open water. Well we headed off up river as planned and toward the Kettle River. On the way we spotted a mama duck with 6 babies strung out behind her paddling along with heads held high scooping bugs off the water as they went.
I steered the canoe toward them and when we got inside their comfort zone the whole family dove under the water. I told Betty to stop paddling and I did the same and we waited and sure enough they surfaced just ahead of us bobbing up and paddling away from us. They sure did look cute and mama was quacking and counting and then steered them away from us.
We continued on for another two miles to the mouth of the Kettle River and entered it paddling on toward a camp ground I thought might be a nice stop for some lunch and snacking on pussy and maybe Betty might even snack on my tally wacker. But alas there were four other campers in the this very small campground so it was just lunch and go.
Heading down stream to the Columbia River again we then turned up river again until Betty needed to find a ladies-room, there was one within just a few minuets and we docked in another campground and beached the canoe so Betty could get out. I decided I might as well do likewise since I had to wait for her any way.
It was only another hour to the campground I had decided on staying in and was well within easy reach. We paddled slowly so Betty would not be too tired to help set up camp. As we made the last bend the current had picked up some. It was noticeable with a loaded canoe to paddle but still we were making good time.
As we rounded the bend there is an opening into a backwater bay and the campsites are on the right as you entered with a float to tie up your boat and lots of nice beach to land our canoe. I picked the site that was right on the point. It was clean where most of the rest of the sites were trashy and needed lots of cleaning. Piles of firewood were in every site left behind by power boat campers. I gathered all of it and placed it alongside our fire ring. Betty was busy digging out our camp gear - when I had the firewood stacked I helped set up the pop-up tent. Until now I had not seen it - OH MY IT WAS SMALL! It was round and by the time I had it set up when I lay down in it my feet just did reach the entry door, and this was going to be our home for five days? OH WELL! We’ll see how this is going to work out.
I set our gas stove on the picnic table and arranged to stow our food boxes so any black bears in the area
would not be able to get to them. Now let me tell you that if you do not stow food properly by morning if a bear finds it and can get at it you will go hungry in the morning.
So I strung a line between two trees that were far enough apart that no bear could jump from one and make it to the middle. Then tied a drop line dead center. By lowering one end the center would descend so we could get at our food and pull it back up and tie the rope off at the base of one tree. The food containers were air tight also helping to keep odor drift inside as to not attract bears in the first place. But that is only good as long as no bears come around while food is being prepared. That is not usually a problem as bears are rather shy unless they are really hungry. Doesn’t happen like that usually. Everything worked according to plan on this trip.
Betty asked me where I’d like the alarm clock set.
“Alarm clock? What need we of an alarm clock, Betty?”
“I just thought we might need one,” was her reply.
“Oh well I suppose in the tent then, but I do not want to here it even ticking. OK?”
“OK.” was all I heard back.
We were all done with our evening meal and everything stowed for the night and it was a nice warm evening - maybe a little on the warm side - we were sitting on one side of the table talking and watching stars appear. When a power boat entered the cove and tied up at the float. We had been the only ones in this campground until then. “I wonder if this will just be the start of the campground filling up for the night,” I mused. I hadn’t been able to hear it coming until it rounded the bend. As good fortune was on our side there were no more.
Then we noticed this good looking woman walking toward us. Her hair blowing in the light breeze as she walked. “Wonder what she wants?” Betty mused. “If she wants her pussy licked she’s out’a luck you’re my pussy licker.”
When she got close she asked, “Would you happen to have an alarm clock?”
“What?” I asked back.
Looking kind of foolish for even asking she repeated herself. Betty said, “Yes as a matter of fact we do.”
I chimed in, “For what reason I have no idea, but yeah we do.”
Then she asked if we needed it and I told her no of course not. Turns out she wanted to borrow it and would return it in the morning. She had the afternoon off and so did her boyfriend and they had to be back to work the next morning and no sure of waking on time. Betty retrieved her alarm clock and handed it to her. She said she would place it on the table in the morning if we were not up. Sure enough next morning it was on the table. We never heard them leave that morning, either we were that sound asleep or they paddled their boat back to the river.
Our night began at 9 PM. Betty tasted just as good out in the wild as she ever did in our mobile nest. She was still deep-throating just as enthusiasticly too. Talk about one hot mama Betty sure is that. Sure did not act like an Ole Schoolmarm.
Don’t know the exact time but sometime during the very early morning long before daylight I awoke with this raging hardon. Betty was sound asleep and on her back. I felt I had to pee something horribly bad and my dick sticking out like a sailboat spar. But pee I just had to, so I crawled out of our tent and found a spot and turned loose, then got back inside our tent.
Well that woke Betty and she had to go. She just had to slip on a flimsy night dress before going outside. We slept with our heads toward the entry flap so she had to crawl over my head to get out. The moon was high and lit up the whole area, and as she moved out she said, “No looking. You do not want to see my moon.”
Well I did look and what I saw was exactly the same twat I had been looking at when eating it. Looked good to me as I reached up and gave it a pet as she crawled out. She says, “No that is naughty, you naughty boy.”
“Yeah, it looked so nice I just had to feel it as it went by. Yummy too, got some kitty juice on my finger and its finger lickin good.”
When she returned she was on all fours crawling into the tent (That is the only way one could get into this pop-up) and her pussy was still just as bare and closer to my face. Her knees were one on either side of my head, so I did what was only the most natural thing I could do, I reached with both hands on either side of her butt cheeks and pulled my face into her pussy which made her collapse onto my chest with her face right on my stiff cock. I had my mouth right on her pussy lips and my tongue darted into her love tunnel. She squealed with delight as I found her clit and tasted her slightly salty crack. With her feet still outside she struggled to gain some kind of balance and take my cock into her mouth.
When she had managed to get it into her mouth I began humming on her clit with my nose stuck into her love tunnel and pressing it in as deep and as hard as I could. The tip of my tongue was busy strumming the tip of her clit as I hummed on it at the same time. Juice was beginning to drip from her vagina and I was getting it all into my mouth and loving it. Then all of a sudden she clenched my head between her knees and gawd did the juices flow. I could feel her belly as it convulsed against my chest and I was balls deep into her mouth shooting cum down her throat.
Betty had collapsed onto my chest and was breathing hard. I was doing what I could to catch my breath but with her weight on me I was having a hard time of it. Betty finally got up on her hands and knees again and crawled on in turning around she said, “I told you not to look. Now see what happens when you don’t listen?” and she laughed with me as we hugged and kissed again.
She had grabbed my cock in her hand and I was fingering her slit finding her clit on every pass. We were French kissing and I could taste my cum in her mouth and I know she could taste her cum on my lips. I was getting hard again and her pussy never dried. She was on her knees again only this time straddling my legs and sat down on my cock and was shifting back and forth teasing me inside her love channel. Wasn’t long and she began crying out, “GAWD SWEETHEART, GAWD what you do to me, GAWD WHAT YOU DO TO ME.” I was pushed over the top and could not hold back as I filled her hole full of my cum.
She fell forward onto my chest again but supporting herself with her arms and her tits in my face, then rolled off falling onto the bedding. I grabbed a flashlight to find a rag to dry us off with. That done we fell asleep in each other’s embrace.
Chapter 3
Morning broke as it seems to do every day. The sun rose across the river and it was going to be a very lovely day. Warm and not a cloud in the sky. We were all alone in the campground again. Our alarm clock sitting on our table and the boaters gone. Betty was just laying there naked as she had been the night before. I was totally exposed to her viewing also as we rolled toward each other pressing our chests together and my dick was hard again. Betty had a hand hold on it and was pulling me on top of her.
“Hey, you trying to **** me or something?” I asked.
“You are so easy to **** honey, I need you in me,” was her reply.
With that I rolled on top of her and plunged back into her. She was still wet or wet again so entry was easy. We fucked for what seemed to be another hour. Well not having set a stop watch who would know, or care for that matter. Time was irrelevant anyway during our mating and we were enjoying our sexual joining. It was the best sex I had for some time anyway and I was loving it. Betty appeared to be doing the same. I had emptied my prostrate during the night to the point there was very little left and the urgency of our coupling had diminished considerably but it felt so damn good anyway we just enjoyed going through the motion of making a baby. (Neither one of us were capable of creating a new life so we never gave that a thought. She was past menopause and I was and am V safe. No need for condoms or pills between us so we could just enjoy the lustfulness of adults who liked each other a lot).
Once we had achieved our goal of orgasm we grabbed a towel and wash cloth and stepped into the river water and rinsed off. Good gawd that water was cold, but we did the deed and needed to rinse off. Then time for breakfast and once that was done it was off to explore the hills and river around us.
While eating we sat so we were facing the lagoon and a small herd of deer came down to drink on the opposite side from us. The dry grassy hill behind them made it slightly difficult to make out their shapes but they were close enough to view quite well once we had them spotted.
Once breakfast was done and everything stowed we set off walking toward the end of the lagoon and around to the side the deer had been and up the hill we walked. It was an easy walk and we were in no hurry. As we crested the hill we saw more deer grazing in the grasses so we stopped and took some pictures. There was a wagon trail in front of us so we took that as walking would be easier. We did not go very far due to the air temperature rising and thought better that we should return to the river where it was cooler, I had not taken the day packs out and loaded them with water and food. Something I had learned a long time ago I should do in the wilderness.
Once back at the campground we sat and drank some cold sodas I had packed and placed in the river. Sure tasted good. Not as tasty as Betty however.
I had some cut-offs I slipped into and sat down on the table top. I had not known I had cut them too short until I had sat down. Betty was sitting on the bench facing me and noticed my dick was sticking out. I had not put on any undershorts, but why would I? No one around to embarrass anyway. Betty leaned in and before I knew what was happening she was sucking me again.
“Nice shorts you have there sweety,” and she had her face buried in my crotch.
I tried to coaxes her into getting on the table after she had blown me, but she would not. Well I’d make up for that later then.
We spent the day just lazing there under the trees, ate lunch and I did some fishing, caught enough fish for our evening meal.
Chapter 4
That evening our boater friends returned. Why would they be coming back and so soon? I hope they remembered to bring their own alarm clock. I had just built a nice campfire as the air had a slight chill on the wind. A light jacket seemed to do the trick and the fire gave off enough warmth so we were quite comfortable. This young couple were just tying up to the float and she was bent over lashing the line around the cleat. I noticed because she had a very nice set of buns held in place by the very tight shorts she was wearing. How could a guy not look at a display like that. Her boyfriend was still at the helm steadying their craft with the throatle.
Once tied up he came off onto the float and began walking toward us carrying some firewood. Now that seemed kinda nice. She had a blouse tied just under her tits and no buttons showing being buttoned and her chest really filled that blouse out quite well. I looked at Betty to see if she was noticing her too, and she evidently was by the look on her face. I could not quite read Betty’s facial expression as I had never seen her looking like she was watching this young woman approaching with her guy tagging slightly behind about two discrete steps back.
When they got close enough he said, “I see you two are still here and your fire looked inviting, may we join you?”
With the size of that armload of wood who was I to object. “Sure come on and sit a spell. I’ll make some coffee if you’re a mind to have a cup.”
He replied, “That would be nice.” He placed his load of wood on our pile we had gathered and sat down on the table bench. She sat next to him.
“That’s a nice boat you have. Where’d you put in?”
“I have a slip at Kettle Falls State Park. So I don’t have to take it out until mid-winter usually. We noticed you two are traveling kinda lite.”
“Yeah I have been traveling by canoe for some time now. I get to see new to me wilderness and experience the thrill of white water. You can not do that in a powerboat like yours, the bottom of a river changes rapidly at times.
Camping in a true wild area can be challenging at times and viewing wild life close up in their natural habitat is very different than zoos.
Then there are natural trails leading from wherever you take out for lunch or the night. Taking short day trips away from the water you happen to be traveling on makes for some very great photos-shoots. And you can pick and choose a larger variety of trips. I have a trailer back at the Kettle State Park that makes it freer to travel to places and spend time at places that afford access to canoe camping.
When you were here the other evening you said you had to be at work the next day, what do you do for a living?”
“Well I work for a logging company and drive truck. Some times those mountain roads get kind-a tricky but so far in 7 years no problems.”
“That is a pretty good record. Reminds me once meeting a log truck face to face as it came around a bend on a one track road while hunting. My son was driving a four wheel drive and had all the wheels locked in, he drove his rig up the side of a hill one heck of a lot faster than it took to tell it. I was sitting behind him in back and watched those tires roll on by me at eye level. I could read the brand and size of those tires as they went by. Too damn close for me, I could have reached out and touched them, that rig was that close.”
“Never had that happen to me yet, and hope it never does.”
“I hope you never do either, the driver had no place to go except over a bank into a beaver pond. I bet he was pooping his pants. Does you wife work too?”
“Oh we are not married. Just real close friends and love to be on the water together, kind of like you and your wife do.”
“Well to tell the truth we are very close friends too, though we have just met a few months ago. By the way my name is Ron and this is Betty. Betty is from Kansas and I live on the Olympic Peninsula. We met on the internet.”
“I see. Well my name is Paul and this is Carol. We live in Kettle Falls together and have known each other since highschool. We didn’t date while in highschool, but when I graduated from the community college near here I ran into her at the grocery store one day and we got to talking and now we are pretty much a couple”
“Sounds kinda romantic. I’ve been showing Betty around the state and along the coast as far as San Diego and north to Neah Bay. I retired from being a civilian navy employee at Bremerton. Ever get out to the coast? Lots of logging out there too you know.”
“No never been past Snoqualmie Pass skiing.”
Chapter 5
After getting somewhat acquainted and a couple of cups of coffee or so, the conversation kinda drifted to sex. Seems Betty has a talent migrating topics to sex. I don’t know how she does it but I get embarrassed by that. I’m rather shy because growing up in my home we shunned sex as a topic. Mom never discussed it nor did dad. My folks were sort of Victorian so even if my brother or I had a question it was glossed over rather quickly and not even simple explanations were satisfied.
Betty was raised somewhat the same, but with her being a girl she was able to find out things from her girl friends at school and the boys of course were bolder because the girls she hung with were horny and with willing boys..... things got out of hand or into hand depending on how you look at things - like her girl friends did. Might explain her boldness. Well that is what attracted me to her in the first place.
Once Betty had broached the subject Carol chimed in to. She was also new-school when it cums to sex. When they arrived I had on my short shorts that my dick stuck out of so I very carefully adjusted it so that little devil would stay out of sight.
Carol asked, right after Betty had told her story about the first time I met her at the airport, and how red my face got upon seeing her walk toward me, “Do you two ever swap mates? We have and it is fun if everyone is ok with it. I know Paul and I just love to swap couples.”
Paul’s face lit up like a neon sign upon listening to Carol talk about swapping. “I have a very nice bed on the boat if your interested Betty.”
It was Betty’s turn to become red faced now. She had told about another guy she was dating from Alaska while she was back in Kansas and had gone to Alaska with him and some of the sightseeing she had done but kept away from telling me about their sex lives - though she did let me know in a roundabout way they did fuck. Betty began to stutter and mumble something I did not quite get. It sounded like - ‘Maybe I would’. Then she did say, “Yes I’d like a guided tour of your boat. My first husband loved boats and all that kind of rubbed off on me.”
Then she looked at me with a kind of quizzical expression, I suppose to see how I took that. I nodded and smiled at her to give her the go-ahead. She got up and set her cup on the table and gathered the others and set those alongside hers, turned and smiled at Paul and waited for him to get up, which he did.
Paul asked, “Would you like to come along Ron?”
I answered, “Maybe later Paul it is getting rather dark and a tour this time of day would make it hard to get around if all four of us got on your boat. Its not a very large boat. Perhaps in the morning would be better.” With that Paul took Betty’s hand and off they went to see his boat. Carol came over and sat next to me not touching mind you but close.
“How do you two fit into such a small tent? Its not big enough to hardly kneel in.”
My response was, “Come on and let us see, it is better than trying to explain it.” So she followed me and I crawled in with her right behind. Once inside I sat toward the very back giving her room to enter and sit in the doorway. I could hardly make out her features as it was gloomy dark inside the sun having set behind the hill to the west but still getting some light refractions from the sky.
I began removing my shirt and then my shoes and socks. Carol just sat there looking toward me and had not moved as yet. I laid my clothes off to one side against the tent wall, she noticed what I had done and then began stripping and placing her clothes alongside of mine. Didn’t take long and we were both naked head to toe. Carol maneuvered around to get next to me and we laid down and embraced.
She found my mouth and we Frenched together right away. Gawd she tasted rather nice. I found her tits which were quite easy to find and then her nipples which were sticking out well from the coolness of the air is my guess, but then some ladies are easy to stimulate or maybe they are stimulated by the thoughts they are having. I know I can get stimulated just by thinking. Sex begins in the brain I am told and I think that is true.
Carol was caressing my chest feeling the hair and playing with my nipples and kissing my neck. My dick was becoming a cock the way she was working her hands and mouth. Of course my playing with her nipples was helping some, they were very nice, nicer than Betty’s but then Carol was 30 some years younger. Betty was still my girl and I knew it, she just loves sex. She loves it so much that if her head was ever ex-rayed they would only find penis’ instead of the normal gray matter.
I allowed my hand to move down Carol’s side and onto her hip and back, my mouth had navigated to her nipples and they were hard but in a soft kind of way. Skin has that affect on things that feel hard but soft all at the same time.
My cousin I hunted with loved to tell this story every year it seems - “If you see this trailer rockin, please do not be knockin. But if you have to be a knockin please knock firmly but softly, I just love soft firm knockers.” Well that comes as close to describing soft firm things covered in skin as I ever heard.
That is what I discovered about Carol’s nipples and tits. As we lay there caressing each other’s bodies my hands migrated to her pussy mound just above her slit and discovered she was clean shaven. No hair, nada, nothing but soft skin. I continued on down finding her slit and ran my hand on down not letting my fingers part them in the slightest until I reached her buns and then my hand came back up to the top of her slit. Still not allowing them to part those lips and my head was face down on her bellybutton and I was tongue fucking it licking in and out. My hand was still exploring her slit and her inner thighs and knees. Seems like there is a lot of exploring to do the first time a lady and I get together.
Carol was breathing harder and stroking the top of my head and running her fingers through my hair what little hair there is on my head. She asked me, “Are you going to lick my pussy?”
“Oh yes I am, it smells so good, I know I will enjoy the taste of it. If it tastes as good as it smells I may never stop eating your pussy.”
I got a, “Oh GAWD hurry then. I just love to have my pussy licked and clit sucked. OH SO MUCH I DO.”
Well I turned around so my head was between her legs and my nose in her crotch getting a really good sniff of her pussy. “”OH SHIT IS THAT EVER NICE.” as I let my nose rub into her slit and against her clit. My nose got really wet from her creamy juice coming from her vagina before it made contact with her clit.
When contact was made she jumped a little and made a Mmmmmm kind of sound. “GAWD Ron THAT FEELS SOOOO GOOOOD.”
She began bucking her hips up off the sleeping pads. I kept my tongue in contact with her clit and stuck two fingers into her cunt. They slid in easy as pie and juice was flowing and my tongue was stumming her clit as I sucked on it. I ran my tongue down to her fuck hole and got a real good taste of her juice. Tasted very good, gourmet in fact. A lot like Betty’s making me feel right at home. Yummy yum yum.
When Carol climaxed her stomach muscles tightened and her head came off the pillow and her legs went straight up into the air spread wider too and I was able to place my whole mouth over her vaginal lips and clit and fuck hole all together and suck her juices into my mouth. GAWD she nearly squirted there was so much of it.
When she settled down I asked, “Have you ever squirted?”
Her reply was, “No but I think I have come close to doing it a couple of times and this was one of those times.”
“Should we rest for a moment and then I’d like to try something else as I eat your pussy. I want to try to make you squirt, if at all possible. I think you’d really like that. Want to try?”
“Oh yes I would. I would think being able to squirt would be the icing on the cake.”
We lay there holding each other kissing and stroking but not saying anything. Until I spoke up. “You must have been planning this night before you and Paul came back. Is that so?”
“Well if you must know, ‘YES’ we were. Paul likes older women and I just love sex. Does not matter if with a man or woman. I must say though you are as good or maybe even better than many of the women I have ever been with and definitely better than any man who has performed cunnilingus on me.”
“Why thank you honey. Not many women have complimented me like that.” then I kissed her and kissed her eyelids and her nose and held her close hoping to make ner feel wanted and needed. I cupped her buns and pulled her close to my hardon, which by the way was demanding attention and relief like it had to happen right now or else. Don’t know what the or else might be but I was feeling that need and bad.
Carol moved away a bit so she could get her hand around my cock and began stroking it slowly a few times and stop. She was driving me crazy it seemed. I was gulping for air and swallowing saliva and snorting and farting all at once, or I sure felt like I was. My cock was pulling my hips toward her and she would push me back or lose her grip. Then pump it slowly but firmly and stop and restart.
Gawd I had not been this hard since last night. I always got hard like this when Betty first arrived but she took the starch right out of it by morning light. By the time I had cum in her three times during the night I needed the time to recharge. Carol was working on me just right.
Then all of a sudden Carol stopped and said, “I think I am ready to try to squirt if you are ready to try.”
I could not think of anything I rather be doing than working on that unless it was fucking and that was top priority for me at that moment, but I used all my will power and told her, “Yes, I’m ready.” hoping my voice was not giving anything away, like being disappointed. Well I knew I most likely would get fucked some time tonight and maybe even several times, so I got down between her legs again like before.
I used all the same techniques as before but this time I actually licked her rosebud and transferred as much lubricant as possible to it. I stuck two fingers in her vagina getting them lubricated really good and then I just had to taste that juice again sucking my fingers clean. Back into her vagina they went but this time I had her clit between my lips and my tongue was working on it as fast as it could, strumming it like a banjo pick at top speed as I finger fucked her vagina. I stopped fingering her there and checked the juice at her rosebud and added more and stuck two fingers in at the same time. Slowly that is until I could not get them in any further and kept working on her clit then let my mouth slid down to her love canal and stuck my tongue in it and then licked back to her clit sucking it in between my lips strumming it again with my tongue and kept sucking and ramming my fingers in and out of her rosebud in slow motion gathering more moisture as it ran from her vagina to her butt hole.
Things were getting slipperier and slipperier in her ass as my fingers were slowly being moved in and out. I could her moaning with pleasure and she was saying something I could not make out. I do have some hearing lose and with her thighs against my ears it is harder to make out what is coming out of her mouth.
She began bucking up against my mouth again only higher and harder and the vagina juices were flowing more freely and she was squeezing my head between her legs muffling her vocalizations even more. I think she was nearly screaming, but I could not hear any noise from my position.
She relaxed her legs all of a sudden and let out a scream like an Irish Banshee and I felt a fountain of water gush out nearly drowning me it seemed. With my mouth I tried to catch it all but that was an exercise in futility. My ears were wet, no filled with water and my hair was soaking wet. Her thighs were wet and the bedding was wet. It seemed like water was everywhere. Might even had a steam from the tent to the river over 200 feet away for all I knew. GAWD DID She squirt. The lights would be brighter in Spokane tonight.
She collapsed onto the bed and her legs dropped like a meteor. I raised up and got a flashlight and turned it on so I could see her face, it was glowing like I had never seen a face lit up like that. She was still heaving and trying to catch her breath and her hips were still bucking up with each breath as she let it out. I could hear her saying OH GAWD, OH MY GAWD, OH GAWD OH MY GAWD MY GAWD. WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME. GAWD OH GAWD!!!!
I just smiled and said, “You just soaked the whole damn bed honey. And you are all wet and I’m all wet and I’ll lick you clean and then I will fuck your head off. OK?”
“Oh gawd Ron, yes clean me up and I’ll clean you up too, then yes I want you to fuck my head off. I never knew I was getting into something like this when Paul and I started to talk about doing you two. Think Betty is doing him as good as you did me?”
“Well I can not vouch for her with your boyfriend but I do know he will be well fucked before the night is over. That I do know.”
We both had a little chuckle over that and I got started licking her juices off her legs and cunt and buns and her belly and her thighs. And specially her clit making her orgasm again and nearly squirted again too so much pussy juice came running out. Had a hard time keeping up with the water supply she was producing but with a lot of willpower and effort I did.
Chapter 6
Carol walked over to the boat and retieved a couple of blankets and returned while I pulled the wet bedding out and d****d them over the table found a couple of rocks large enough I hoped would keep the bedding off the ground if a wind came up. And that worked as the bedding was still where I had put when we got up the next morning in time for lunch.
Once we had the dry bedding in place I decided it might not be a good idea to fuck this lady on the dry cloth so I retrieved a couple of towels and placed them folded under her butt. I was hoping that would absorb enough moisture we might produce and still have dry bedding. Then Carol said, “Now just get on and put that cock of your’s right on in and start fucking, I am still wet enough and horny enough and want you in me as deep and as often as you can and as fast and as strong as you can. Just fuck as hard and as fast as you can. You can cum in me as I am on the pill and won’t get pregnant.”
To which I told her, “I am surgically safe and clean so you are protected twice now. I think that is just super great. I’m going to fill you so full of cum you won’t be able to hold it all. I’m as teased up as much as I can be and fully charged.” with that I got on top of her and plunged right in and started fucking as hard as I could, like a jackhammer I was ramming in so hard and fast.
Carol let out another scream but not as loud as when she squirted but it spooked me she was so loud. She didn’t squirt but gawd she might have and we would have a wet bed again.
I slowed up and she said, “Keep doing it to it honey you feel so damn good.”
I hammered into her again and then stopped. “Gawd Carol you feel so damn good I gatta stop a minuet or I’ll explode.”
“OK.”
I just lay there with my cock inside her, kinda soaking it inside her. I could feel her kaggle muscles squeezing around my cock. I had only one other lady do that and it felt ooohhh sooo goood. I just involuntarily pushed in and pulled back a little. I just could not stop that motion. She was moving in unison with me. Slow and deliberate our motions were. That is one of the hardest things I find near impossible to do is lay still while my cock is inside a vagina.
Then before we understood what was happening we were pounding at each other as hard as we could. Carol came again and I was right behind her. I exploded with so much force it felt like my backbone had discharged out through my urethra. Carol wrapped her legs around me so I could not pull out. Her arms were wrapped around me too pinning me in a death like grip so if I moved she moved with me. Our breathing was heavy and air was hard to get it seemed. Panting like two dogs who had run for too long.
Once we were able to breath normal again she let me get off her. “Gawd Ron you are good. How old did you say you are?”
“I’m 72. Why?”
“I never met a guy that old who could even match your fucking let alone your pussy eating technique. I know Paul does not do as well and he is only 36. But he is still very good. You will have to give him some pointers on pussy eating to make me squirt. Gawd I loved squirting. I’d like to stay over another night and have you make me squirt again. Mmmm gawd I just loved it.”
With that we embraced holding onto each other and fell asleep.
2 AM and I woke up to find a strange lady in my bed. I was a little foggy for a moment and then I realized who she was. My dick had become a cock again all on its own like normal. My hands began to roam allover this lady and she woke up with a start. “Wa? What? What who are you?” And she dropped her head back on the pillow and said, “Sorry Ron. I must be groggy.”
“Oh do not feel bad I woke up the same way. Goggy and hard. Want ot fuck?”
“ What? You want to fuck? What time is it?”
“Its sex o’clock Carol.”
“HAHAHA now that is funny. Yeah come to think about it, I want to fuck.”
We French kissed and hugged and caressed and made love and we fucked for a while. Carol orgasmed a few times to my one and we dropped off to sleep again.
Guess what, at 6 AM I was awake with a hardon. Carol was still sleeping. I rolled over toward her wrapped an arm around her and got hold of her tit. Rolling the nipple between my thumb and index finger it started to get hard and she woke, looked me in the eye and said, “Fuck me please. Is your duty since you woke me playing with my nipple and poking me with your stiffy again.”
She rolled over on her back spread her legs and I mounted her and drove my cock back into her vagina and we fucked for some time. After cumming twice last night my stamina improved and Carol had several more orgasms. When I unloaded this time my cock returned to being a dick almost immediately. Carol held it in her by wrapping her legs and arms around me and squeezing my dick with her kegel muscles again. But then all good things must end sometime. As we lay there we heard an alarm clock ringing next to the tent door and Betty and Paul smiling bending down looking in at us.
Betty was closest to the tent entrance nearly standing on the floor. Since my head was right there looking up her skirt I just reached up and pushed her panties to one side and I had a finger in her quick as a wink. She let out a scream of surprise and backed away about ten steps, and yelled, “That was not fair.”
To which I came back with, “Oh yes it was you had your pussy darn near in my face. Come back here and I’ll treat it to a good licking.” At that she giggled. Betty did come back and drop her panties and straddled my face facing the river so my nose was on her clit and I began licking her love box. She was moaning and dripping and I could taste Paul’s cum as it dripped onto my tongue. I cleaned her out really good and just about had all there was to clean when she had one of her orgasms and really loaded my mouth, I nearly chocked. Betty rolled off when she stabilized.
Wow,” said Carol, “That was hot.”
“Must be time for breakfast,” chimed in Paul.
“I agree,” was my response.
“After eating all that?” was Betty’s input. And Carol was all in too. Carol had retreated to the back of the tent on her heels and had bent down to suck my cock again cleaning it of any evidence left from our coupling.
Following breakfast we sat around getting better acquainted, as if we were not well acquainted already. Paul offered to run over to the State Park across the river and bring back more drinking water which we were getting low on. We all boarded his boat for the run.
I looked the boat over pretty good on the trip over and it seemed to be rather new. The bed had been made up - one of Betty’s traits everything needs to be straightened and proper - but for one thing, the pungent aroma of cum hung in the air.
Back on deck the girls were in some serious discussion. Carol was saying, “Your Ron sure is some lover. I’d like to stay over and do him one more time. Could you part with him one more time? Gawd I’d give almost anything for that.”
Betty looked surprised but answered, “Maybe half the night. I missed him last night. Paul was very good but I’m in love with Ron so there is a difference there.”
“Well how about we do a foursome tonight under the stars then,” I got in.
Betty looked at me with disbelief in her eyes. Then a smile emerged and her eyes began to sparkle. Carol thought that a great idea. Paul was busy at the wheel so he missed out with any input. But knowing Carol as I do now I am sure Paul would be all in. Since they had been involved in swapping before it was a sure bet.
When we had made our crossing Paul grabbed the water cans and set them on the float stepped off the boat and helped Carol off, Betty wanted to stay onboard and asked me to stay with her, so Paul and Carol trudged up to fill the cans.
Betty wanted to talk and asked, “Think you want to fuck Carol again?”
Now that is a silly question. But I was gentleman enough to say, “I’d rather be making love to you Hun.”
“Know that was sweet of you, I can see it in your eyes you’d like to do her again.”
“Since you put it that way, weeellll - yeah - I guess I would. Well damn right I would, since you asked. But just remember it is you I love and Carol is just sex for sex sake. I’ll admit she does have a tighter pussy than you but you are more than pussy to me, and do not forget that. OK? I most certainly like your pussy and love to eat your kitty and love fucking you.”
“HA caught you, you devil you. How did Paul’s cum taste to you?”
“Just like cum. You made it better though because you held it in your pussy until you sat on my face this morning. Even my cum tasted better when I ate Carol earlier to. Pussies seem to make cum taste better.”
“Now I want to know how does a foursome work? I have never had more than one guy at a time.”
“Well it is hard to explain. Two guys can begin by eating pussy on one girl and the other girl can suck one of the guys at the same time, or one guy can have one girl suck him and one girl sit on his face and the other girl can stand so one of the guys can eat her or suck on a tit. There are many scenarios to chose from. Even one girl can eat out the other girl while being fucked and the girl who is being eaten can suck a cock. So what would you want to do?”
“My gawd I never have messed with a girl before. Not my flavor, so if a girl is going to eat pussy then Carol will have to eat mine, but I’m not going to even touch her.”
“OK. Then we should talk about that with them if you are interested in a foursome still, you just have to be comfortable with it and we will draw some lines not to be crossed.” With that I Frenched Betty and gave her a big hug. I knew it was a huge step for her to be involved in a foursome.
Chapter 7
Paul and Carol returned with our water and boarded the boat. He backed out into the river and turned north. “I’m going to take you two on a sightseeing tour north. Much easier with a motor than a paddle.”
With that we sat back to enjoy the ride and the wind in our faces. The river seemed to be deep when we started out but in about twenty minuets we could see the bottom and some fish swimming away. Still plenty of water under the keel as the river narrowed a lot and the current became stronger. Paul said we will be in Canadian water very soon and sure enough there was a sign on the bank announcing we had entered Canada and to put in at the next town to register.
Paul turned around and headed back, the current seemed to help pick up speed though the wake had not changed any. We were back at the campsite in under 30 minuets on the way back and tied up, set the water cans out and carried them to our campsite. There wasn’t anyone in sight and Carol stripped out of her clothes and set a bikini out in case. Betty and I were really surprised by her move and Paul followed suite. They were both naked as Jay Birds and spread out a blanket on the grass and lay down head to toe or cock to mouth and pussy to mouth and began to lick and suck with total abondonment.
I looked at Betty and Betty looked at me and we stripped and spread another blanket right next to their’s and assumed the position. We seemed to have gotten a head start on the foursome bit.
One of my favorite things to do was eat Betty’s pussy and she seemed to enjoy sucking my cock. That way we both got what we liked. Betty was the best cock sucker I had ever met. Now Carol would not have to take a back seat to her but their techniques were different. They both could deep throat without gagging and they both took just the head in and out a few times which really set me to groaning and moaning and bucking my hips into their mouths. Betty was more straight suck but did something with her tongue that made me jerk spasmodically where Carol twisted her head around as she sucked on just the head sending me into outer-limits. And they both swallowed.
Well there we were sucking and licking and licking and sucking side by side on the ground. Paul had a head start on me and exploded into Carol’s mouth. “GAWD CAROL,” he shouted, and grabbed Carol by her legs and pressed his face into her cunt as hard as he could muffling any more sounds he emitted.
Then Carol orgasmed and screamed like only she could. I think the campers across the river could hear her. “Paul! MY GAWD!! What you do to me. Oh shit I’m cumming again. Suck that clit damn it. SUCK IT!!
That sent Betty over the top. “Ron oh Ron your doing it just right. DON’T STOP DAMN IT DON’T YOU DARE STOP!!!
It was my turn now as Betty resumed sucking my cock. I noticed Carol and Paul looking at us as Betty did her tongue swirling thing and I unloaded into her mouth screaming OH MY GAWD Betty OH Betty MY GAWD OOOHHHHhhhh Gawd you know right where that sweet spot is my gawd oooohhh!
Betty was swallowing all of my cum and sucking out as much as she could until there was no more to get. Carol looked at Betty and asked, “Would you tell me just what it was you did? I want to make Paul scream like that.”
“Sure Carol I’d be glad to show you and then maybe the next time you give Paul a BJ he will really blow his nuts. I made him scream last night. Din’t you hear him?”
“No, I never heard a thing coming from the boat last night. Ron and I must have been too busy screaming ourselves. You sure are lucky to have him, he sure does know how to lick and when to suck and tongue fucking sending me out of this world