Dressed as a young lady for my step-sister's dinner-party. Phoebe's
glac - k** long gloves. My parentage and boyhood. I am left under the
guardianship of a girl. How "Dennis" was transformed into "Miss
Denise."
************
Phoebe the maid, though she was as big and strong as a grenadier, had
the deft, neat hands of a French woman. She threaded a pink satin
ribbon amongst the shining curls of my coiffure, buttoned the last
button of my very long glac-k** evening gloves, and dusted lightly with
a powder-puff my white bosom and shoulders. Then she tucked a tiny
lace handkerchief in my corsage and said:
"There, now you are ready, Miss Denise. Stand up!"
" Miss Denise indeed!" and "Stand up!" The insolence of it! I remained
seated.
"Ah!" said Phoebe with a malicious smile, 49 you don't like being
ordered about by poor servants, do you? You are the young master of
Beaumanoir, the wealthy aristocrat, the great landlord, Dennis Evelyn
Beryl," and she uttered my name with amused contempt.
"Bah! - I do not trouble my head about your position-you are in your
own house-it is true, but you are under the control of your beautiful
step-sister who very properly stripped you of your foolish trousers two
years ago to punish you for your impertinence. You are over eighteen
years old - I admit it, but for two years you have been mincing in
petticoats in a girls' school. You are a young gentleman, are you?
Nobody would believe it. You hair reaches clown below your waist. You
have the figure, the face, the soft limbs, the hands and feet and the
breasts of a girl." I was dreadfully ashamed at Phoebe's outburst. I
could not deny a word of it.
"You are a very important person, I suppose," she went on jeering at
me, " with a great career in Parliament! Heavens how you used to
plague my ears with your boastfulness! It may all be true. What I am
concerned with is that you should he beautifully dressed for the
dinner-party which your step-sister Miss Deverel is giving on her
twenty-third birthday. Stand up at once, or I will lace you into a
corset one inch tighter than the one you are wearing now."
"Oh Phoebe," I cried, "I can hardly breathe in this one."
I was alarmed. Her tone was so menacing. She was much stronger than I
was. She could carry out her threat if she chose. I stood up. I had
a special reason for being obedient to-night.
"That's better, Miss Denise," she said.
I was dressed in an exquisite decollet frock of white transparent
chiffon glittering with silver embroideries over an underdress of soft
white satin. The corsage was cut very low, the sleeves being merely
shoulder straps of flashing silver bugles, and my tight unwrinkled
white k** gloves reached up to my shoulders. A sash of white satin
encircled my small waist and was tied in an enormous bow looped through
a huge diamond buckle on my left hip, whence the broad streamers
fringed with silver floated down to my feet. A bunch of pink roses was
pinned on the right of my corsage at the waist. The sheath skirt
molded my legs in its gleaming satin and chiffon, outlining the girlish
curves of my figure and was caught tightly in at the ankles by a scarf
of tulle passed through a big sparkling diamond buckle in front of the
dress and tied in a great bow behind. My legs were quite bound by
these dainty fetters of satin and tulle. The skirt was hemmed with
tulle and was bordered with a festoon of tiny pink roses, and on the
left side a row of flat diamond buttons sparkled up to the knee. The
skirt had a long train of white satin, lined with pleats of tulle which
rustled deliciously at each movement. Phoebe arranged the train in a
gleaming swirl about my feet, and stood up.
" Now Miss Denise, those smartly-gloved hands behind your back!"
" Behind my back! Like a c***d!"
" Don't argue. Behind your back with them at once, palm to palm, the
fingers pointing down."
I obeyed. How humiliating it was!
Now lift up this pretty face.
She took my chin and tilted back my head.
"I must say, Miss Denise, your governesses have done wonders for you at
your school. You always were a pretty girl of course, but you are
quite lovely now."
I blushed - was it altogether from shame, or was there not some thrill
of pleasure and of girlish vanity in the blush? Oh my two years at a
girls' school had left their influence upon my disposition.
"Now put the high heels of your satin slippers together under your
frock."
She looked down to the billowy satin and tulle of my skirt.
"Have you done it? Are the toes daintily turned out?"
"Yes Phoebe."
"I'll make sure."
She stooped and thrusting her hand under my dress, felt my feet. The
blushes deepened on my face, and let me be frank - a soft wave of
voluptuous delight swept over me. I am to write the truth here, at the
order of my guardian and step-sister Helen Deverel, and she knows me so
well that I could not hope to deceive her. Therefore I am frank about
it. The thought that here was I dressed with all the dainty luxury of
a very fashionable girl, standing obediently with my hands behind me at
the bidding of a maid, while she adjusted my satin-slippered feet in
the attitude of a school-girl troubled my passions. There was
something sensuously bizarre in the contrast which fascinated me.
Besides, apart from the queer mental impression produced in me, the
actual touch of Phoebe's hands on my insteps and ankles gave me a
delicious physical sensation. For she was wearing long white glac-k**
gloves. I asked her why, and she glanced at me shrewdly.
"Miss Priscilla's orders," she answered, "No one is to touch you, or
dress you without long glac-k** gloves on their hands. But why do you
ask, Miss Denise?"
I was confused.
"Did the feel of the gloves on your silk stockings please you? Answer
at once."
"Yes Phoebe," I replied shyly.
Phoebe nodded her head.
"Miss Priscilla is a very wise lady. Now stand without moving until
she comes to inspect you."
Miss Priscilla, then, that old maid whom I had once been fool enough to
despise, had foreseen that the touch of the k**-gloves would make its
sensuous appeal to me. She had deliberately intended that it should.
Why? My old fear returned to me - a fear that she and Helen Deverel
her niece were in a plot together to nullify me, to make me of no
importance, perhaps by some enervating system to reduce me to perpetual
subjection. If so I had reason to shiver; they were so clever, they
had shown such insight into my character and failings. On the other
hand there was the promise of Helen Deverel given to me in the most
emphatic way two years ago that the day after I returned from the
girls' school I should be allowed to resume the dress of my sex, if the
head schoolmistress sent me home with a good report. Well I had
returned this afternoon with an excellent report. Tonight I was to be
Miss Denise Beryl, a cousin of Evelyn's. But tomorrow I was to resume
my liberty. I was to be once more the master of Beaumanoir.
I was turning over these doubts in my mind when Phoebe interrupted my
reflections.
"You have moved your feet, Miss Denise, she said sternly. "In that
tight pretty satin frock, every tremor of your limbs is visible."
"I wasn't thinking Phoebe," I said humbly, "I am sorry.
Phoebe was appeased by the humility of my voice.
"I will forgive you this once," she said. "There's no doubt Miss
Denise that you ought to be kept in girls' clothes all your life."
"All my life I" I exclaimed horrified.
"You are so much easier to manage," she replied. What a selfish
argument! All she thought of was her comfort, not one consideration
did she give to me, my position, the career which awaited me. No! As
a youth, I should give her orders. Under discipline and dressed as a
girl I received them from her. That was all she cared about.
I was careful not to move again, and Phoebe busied herself in putting
away the school-girl's dress which I had laid aside to appear as a
grown up young lady in a decollet gown with a long train.
While I am waiting thus for Miss Priscilla, let me explain briefly the
circumstances which brought about my present position.
My father, who was probably the wealthiest commoner in England, had
inherited the great estate of Beaumanoir in Hampshire, a house in Park
Lane and a large fortune in the Funds, which by skilful business he had
greatly increased. He married late in fife and I, his only c***d, was
born when he was fifty-two. I was baptized Dennis Evelyn, and the
second name, which is given to girls as well as to boys, I always
resented. I resented it all the more, because in complexion, features,
limbs, and figure I was, alas! As the taunts of my school friends
assured me, more like a girl than a boy. My father lost his wife when
I was twelve and a year later married a second time whence came all my
troubles. He married a middle-aged widow Mrs. Deverel, who bad a
daughter Helen, a girl just four years older than myself. She was a
beautiful girl with dark hair, a pale sweet face and a slim figure.
She had the most winning manners and at once set herself to charm
everybody. She succeeded with everybody except me.
I resented my father's marriage, and the intrusion of these new people
into our house. I would not call the new Mrs. Beryl, "mother," nor
Helen "sister." Mrs. Beryl was considerate and Helen laid herself out
to please me, but I distrusted them both. I always had a fear that
they meant to take my place in my father's affections and oust me from
my inheritance.
I remember particularly one day when I was home for the holidays. I
was thirteen at the time, Helen s*******n; she stopped me as I went out
of the drawing-room, and as she came in, she laid her little hand upon
my arm and said wistfully:
"Evelyn, can't we be good friends ? I am so unhappy that you dislike
me. "
The name Evelyn irritated me. I looked at her ironically and replied
"I suppose that you really want to marry me, to get hold of my fortune,
don't you?"
It was a foolish answer. If it had not been uttered I might not be
standing now in the fashionable ball-dress of a wealthy young lady,
waiting the moment when I should take my place at her birthday dinner
party, a living tribute to her domination from the Louis Quinze heels
of my smart satin-slippers to the pink ribbon in my curls. For to that
foolish answer I attribute the beginnings of her hatred and resentment.
She turned away deeply wounded and never made advances to me again.
That same year in the autumn my step-mother died and the shock of her
death prostrated my father. He was then sixty-five. He had a great
affection for Helen and a great faith in her capacity; and at her
suggestion, Miss Priscilla Deverel, an Aunt of hers, was introduced
into the household to act as companion to Helen and to assist her in
the management of the house. Miss Priscilla was really a remarkable
woman. She was a fully qualified doctor and had amongst lady-doctors a
great medical reputation. She gave up her practice to join us. But to
me at this time she seemed merely a harmless, slightly ridiculous old
maid. She was forty-seven or so when she came to Beaumanoir, a
wrinkled thin ungainly woman, who dressed very badly, was very patient
and submissive, and whom I treated with the utmost disregard. I did
not resent her presence in the house, as I did Helen's. For I looked
upon her as of no importance whatever. The first time I had any doubt
about her was a year later when I was ill with a cold: I was then
between f******n and fifteen, and Helen brought her to my bedroom. At
first I would not allow her to examine my chest, but Helen threatened
to tell my father of my refusal and to send for a doctor from London.
That for a special reason I dreaded. I let Miss Priscilla open my
night-gown and I saw at once - for my pride was on the look-out - a
flash of wonder on her face. I flushed scarlet. I had a secret which
I had always tried to conceal. My bosom was much too developed for a
boy's and developing as I grew. I had not merely the nipples of a boy,
but the white globes of a girl's breasts threatened to become
prominent. Miss Priscilla examined them carefully. Then she turned to
Helen and exchanged with her a significant look. When she looked again
at me a slow smile of triumph was spreading over her face. It seemed
to say: "I have got you," and when she went out of the room I thought
with some discomfort of the impertinences which I had showered upon
her. However, I soon took courage. She could do me no harm, I
thought. What a fool I was!
The next term an episode occurred of which it is difficult for me to
write. But I must refer to it, because it affected my future
tremendously. I was, as I have confessed, girlish to look at although
I took my part in the games of the school and my appearance brought
upon me a great deal of chaff and ridicule. It also brought upon me
the attentions of the bigger boys in the Sixth Form. One of them, a
youth of nineteen called Guy Repton, pestered me. One afternoon I
struck him, and gave him a black eye. He attacked me, a master caught
us struggling. Guy Repton was expelled in disgrace, and my father was
asked to take me away. The head master wrote to my father as follows:
"Dennis is not to blame for the scandal at all, but he looks so much
like a pretty girl that I think him unsuited for a boys' school."
Accordingly I returned home, and nobody knew what to do with me. I
could not go to another school. I was too young for the University. I
stayed at home for six months. My father was already sickening with
his last illness. There was no one to control me; and no doubt I
bullied the servants, was tyrannical and threatening to the tenants,
was rude to Helen and contemptuous of Miss Priscilla. Miss Priscilla
bad precise old-maidish neatnesses which it was a pleasure to me to
offend. To stamp about the drawing-room in noisy muddy boots, to fling
myself on delicately upholstered sofas in dirty football clothes -
these things I delighted to do because I saw how much they shocked her
and offended Helen. Finally Helen made a suggestion to my father that
I should be sent round the world with a tutor for a year. My father
was delighted with the idea. He was very ambitious for me.
"There is no reason, my boy, why you should make money. I have done
that. You must make a famous name. Marry and begin a great family
which shall be associated the history of the country."
Oh, how well I remember him saying that! Helen and Miss Priscilla were
both at his bedside at the time, and both looking at me with a quizzing
enigmatical smile which I did not understand.
" You must go into Parliament, become a Cabinet Minister, perhaps Prime
Minister. Therefore go round the world Dennis and improve your mind."
I went, grateful to Helen, but after I had started I began to wonder
whether Helen had not some ulterior purpose. Whether she had not
removed me from my father's neighbourhood in order to oust me by
slanders from his affections and rob me of my inheritance. I wrote to
him therefore warning him against Helen and Miss Priscilla.
" They are both of them designing women, I am sure. They wish to
intrigue me out of my proper position as your son."
It was an unfortunate letter, for it came into Helen's hands
ultimately. But at the same time it had its influence on my father.
For a couple of months later, I received a telegram announcing my
father's death and that he had bequeathed the whole of his immense
fortune to me, with a request that I should make Helen such an
allowance as I thought sufficient for her and Miss Priscilla. There
was however a thorn in that as in every rose. I was not to come into
my inheritance until I was twenty-five, and until that time Helen was
appointed my guardian. I resented extremely the idea of being subject
to Helen who certainly disliked me and at this time was only twenty
years old herself. However I reflected that I had the whip hand of
her. For she would be absolutely dependant upon me and my money for
her meals. I returned to London where I found a letter from Helen
asking me to go and see Mr. Willowes the solicitor. Now Mr. Willowes
was a friend of Helen's and she had removed the entire affairs of the
family from our old solicitor, who had looked after them for twenty
years, into this new man's hands. I went to see him in a haughty mood
of displeasure.
"I don't approve of the change," I said foolishly, "and I shall restore
the business into the hands of our old solicitor when I come of age."
Mr. Willowes, a young sardonic looking man, twirled his moustache with
an ironical smile.
"It is very kind of you to give me warning. Meanwhile here is your
first-class railway ticket to Beaumanoir. I have paid off your tutor.
Miss Deverel expects you this afternoon and if you will take a word of
advice, young gentleman, you will change your tone with her. You are
sixteen and a half. She has complete control of you for the next eight
years and I rather think that she has had enough of your ill-manners.
Good morning."
Wild with rage I was shown out of the office. I had hardly any money.
I had to go down to Beaumanoir, and at once Helen threw off the mask.
I arrived late, and I noticed that all the footmen and men-servants had
been dismissed. There were only the women now and new women-servants
in addition, all big and handsome and strong.
"You have just time to dress for dinner," said Phoebe, "if you will
hurry."
"I shall be late," I replied. "How is it that there are no valets?"
"You must ask Miss Helen."
I had my bath and coming back into my bedroom I found Phoebe still
there.
"What are you doing here? You can go," I said and I saw to my surprise
that she was holding up a dainty corset of white satin.
"I must lace you into this first Master Evelyn," she said impudently.
"How dare you? What impertinence!" I began and I saw her move to the
bell. "What are you going to do?" I cried.
"Ring the bell for some of the other servants if you are going to be
silly. I have definite orders from Miss Helen to lace you into a
corset and smarten you up."
I remembered with a sinking heart Mr. Willowes' advice. I couldn't
have a struggle with a lot of women-servants. It was a question I must
settle privately with Helen. A minutes conversation would settle the
matter and put a stop to the repetition of any such nonsense. I
allowed Phoebe to lace me up in a woman's corset. What a strange
luxurious sensation it was! An enervating, captivating sensation
against which I felt the need to struggle. I had a feeling now of
being really in a woman's power. The delicate thing, all lace and
satin outside, but relentless as steel in its grip, seemed to me an
epitome and a symbol of women. The rest of this story will show that
my intuition was correct. My hair I had carelessly allowed to grow
long. Phoebe curled it. I noticed that my new dress trousers had a
line of little effeminate black satin buttons running for a few inches
from the hem upwards on the outside of each leg. They were short too
and exposed my ankles which were clad in very fine black silk stockings
fixed up to my corset instead of in socks and my shoes were
patent-leather girls' pumps with neat flat bows and the straight
American heels, higher of course than those which men wear. But I
thought I could easily hide these. Helen was already at table when I
went down with five or six of her friends, Mr. and Mrs. Kivers, old
General Carstairs, a regular degenerate and some others.
"Ah here's the androgyne!" Helen cried as I entered the room. "Come
and sit down! How do you like your corset and your bright little
shoes?"
The company tried not to laugh. I was so confused that I wished the
floor would open and swallow me up. I ate my dinner not knowing where
to look.
"We have just been discussing your future, Evelyn dear," said Helen.
" I prefer not to discuss my future with acquaintances," I replied
haughtily.
" There's no reason why you should," said Helen, "for we have settled
it with a unanimous vote. You are too young still for College. For
reasons of which you are aware, you cannot be safely sent to a boys'
school.
I grew scarlet.
"And you are too overbearing and untidy and impossible to remain at
home with a tutor. There is only one thing left for you, dear, and
that's a girls' school.
I started up in a rage.
"This is really too much."
" Come with me," said Helen, with a look on her face which frightened
me. She had absolute control of me for eight years. She took me up to
my bedroom.
" I am quite serious about this Evelyn," she said in a gentle voice.
"It is the only thing to be done. I don't know whether you are aware
that I can, if I think you fit for your position, let you come of age
when you are twenty-one. If you behave very obediently as a girl for
two years at the girls' school to which I am going to send you, I may
perhaps shorten your minority."
It was a strong inducement. Besides, she need not have offered any
inducement. She had the right to do with me what she liked. I saw no
escape.
"Of course if I go as a girl to a girls' school for two years, I shall
be allowed to dress as a man at the end."
"If your school-mistress reports favourably. I don't want to seem
unkind."
I had to consent. During the next day, I was busy with Helen's
dressmakers, Helen's milliner, Helen's bootmakers, Helen's corsetire.
In ten days I was fetched by a governess. I went by train in the
summer uniform of the school - a pretty pink frock of ninon, ankle
length, a big white straw hat, long brown glac-k** gloves, and patent
leather button boots with very high heels. At the school I had a
bedroom to myself, no one knew or found out that I was not a girl and I
went through the most rigid system imaginable all designed to make me
completely girlish in mind and body. Hair was removed from every part
of my body, except my head, by electric needles and depilatories.
Every morning and every evening I was massaged for an hour to reduce my
waist and develop my bust, and soften my limbs. Exercises with the
same object were carefully supervised. I wore face-masks for my
complexion, gloves at night to whiten my hands. My skin was carefully
tended, my hair treated with lotions and so successfully that it grew
extraordinarily thickly and in two years hung down below my waist. I
was never allowed to see myself in a mirror, for fear, I suppose, lest
I should revolt against the system. But of course I was none the less
aware that curves were coming where before there had been angles, that
the muscles were all vanishing from my legs and arms which were
naturally round, that my breasts were developing into the pretty white
round delicately-veined apples of a girl. I was now back at home,
waiting for Miss Priscilla to inspect the result. I was in a bedroom
which had been altogether refurnished in mauve. Over a thick carpet a
covering of mauve glac-k** had been tightly stretched, delicious to
feel under one's feet. The room was a girl's bedroom, the
dressing-table covered with feminine bottles of perfume and lotion,
jewelled powder boxes, gold-backed brushes. Why I asked myself since I
was to be a youth again tomorrow? A beautiful little marble-tiled
bathroom led from it on one side, and a dainty boudoir on the other.
The bed was an exquisite thing in the shape of a swan. It was
altogether a lovely suite of rooms - for a girl.
"I shall not sleep here tomorrow, "I said to myself, and then the door
opened and Miss Priscilla entered carrying a number of leather
jewel-cases in her hands.
Chapter Two
Miss Priscilla inspects me. In silk stockings and slippers. I am to
be punished. Helen's delight at my changed appearance. What two years
at a girls' school can do. My bosom and Miss Priscilla's theory.
Helen tempts me to subjection in vain.
************
I had despised her two years ago. I shivered with alarm now. Yet she
had not changed. She was the same neat, precise, thin, elderly
spinster with the patient air of submission. It was I who had changed
and at her bidding. At an age when even the poorest of youths begin to
gain their liberty, I probably the very richest in the country, the
head of one of the oldest families in the country had been calmly
stripped of mine by this old maid and her niece; and they had been able
to do it through their insight into my character. That is what I
suspected at the time. What I was soon to know was the truth.
Miss Priscilla was dressed in a high-necked plain gown of grey silk;
she wore the flat square-toed ugly shoes which used to excite my
ridicule. The solitary touch of luxury about her was a long pair of
glac-k** white gloves which she wore upon her arms. She looked at me
coldly, critically; there was no expression upon her face and so much
had my two years at the girls' school done to effeminatize me that I
became curious as to what she thought of my looks and a little hurt -
yes, let me admit it - a little hurt that she was not betrayed into an
expression of admiration. She opened the leather-cases and a rippling
fire of jewels at once made the room glorious to my girlish eyes. She
advanced to me. They were for me then those glittering streams of
diamonds, those lustrous rows of pearls! Oh I loved jewels! She fixed
a high collar of diamonds round my throat with a diamond bow and a tiny
diamond tassel dangling from it, just behind the left ear. She passed
a double row of magnificent pearls round my shoulder which hung down to
my waist. She fixed earrings of big pearls set with diamonds in my
ears which had been pierced. She fixed a diamond star amongst my
curls, a diamond brooch in the roses at my waist.
"Give me your hands, Denise," she said and on my wrists she fastened
lovely bracelets of gold flashing with diamonds and pigeon-blood
rubies. They were very tight, and then she fixed another similar pair
above my elbows smoothing up my long gloves carefully before she
clasped them on.
"They will keep your pretty gloves tidy and smooth, she said. "Now you
can join your hands again behind your back." With each movement the
soft fire of the flashing stones ran over me like water. Oh now I
wished to see myself in them! There were a couple of big full-length
mirrors with three panels each such as one sees in a dressmaker's
atelier. But the panels were closed.
"What is Miss Denise's waist-measure?" Miss Priscilla asked of Phoebe.
"Nineteen inches, Miss," replied Phoebe.
"And the height of her heels?
"Four inches."
Miss Priscilla nodded her approval; she turned to me
"Have you your big diamond buckles on your satin slippers?"
"Yes Miss Priscilla," I replied blushing.
"Lift your skirt and let me see!"
With a shy smile of pleasure - I could not help smiling - I raised in
my delicately-gloved fingers the exquisite satin frock. There came
into view a pair of small slender feet in exquisitely-cut, new,
glistening, white satin slippers with wonderful arched narrow Louis
Quinze heels, pointed toes embroidered with pearls, butterfly bows of
dainty white tulle and mounted on the bows big blazing diamond buckles.
The slim little slippers were posed with the heels together and the
toes turned out as Phoebe had arranged them. The skirt rose higher, a
pair of round arched insteps and small finely molded ankles showed
prettily pink through tightly-strained stockings of white silk with
lace insertions. I had never seen such stockings, never even dreamed
of things so beautiful. They were of the finest gossamer, transparent
as cobwebs, filmy delicious ornaments rather than coverings with a soft
sheen upon which was lovely. Stockings and slippers were fit for some
blushing beautiful dbutante of high birth and enormous wealth, to make
her curtsey in before her Queen. No one else could have afforded them.
Miss Priscilla stooped and held out her hands.
"Give me those pretty feet."
Coquettishly I hesitated, just like a pretty girl who pretends modesty
the better to display what she knows to be her best points.
"Oh Miss Priscilla," I said.
"At once, Denise."
I extended a foot. She took it in her hands, tried the buckle to make
certain that it was secure, felt the slipper to see that it was tight
enough and measured the heel.
"They are very pretty, she said with cold content.
"Put them together again Denise. You disobeyed me."
"Miss Priscilla, I only hesitated.
"You were trying your little coquetries on me, Denise," she said with a
shrewd smile which brought the blushes to my face. "But I punish
coquetry. You were indulging your vanity by making play with your
dainty slippers and I punish vanity Denise. You will go down to dinner
and sit through dinner with your pretty mouth gagged.
"A very good thing for Miss Denise," said Phoebe delightedly.
I was startled.
"Oh Miss Priscilla! I am to sit amongst the guests at a dinner-party -
in this lovely frock - in these satin slippers and stockings - with my
mouth gagged!"
"Yes Denise!"
"Diamond shoe buckles and high heels for my feet and a gag for my
mouth. Oh, oh!" I gasped.
Poignant emotions stirred me, troubled me, provoked my passions. I am
to tell the whole truth. I was ashamed but I anticipated the
punishment with a strange secret thrill of delight. Ever since I had
been a boy, I had been from time to time besieged with queer fancies
which at first I had laughed at, which afterwards at once fascinated me
and frightened me. I recognized in them a danger to my character, to
my ambitions and an obstacle to the great career which lay before me.
I had dreamed, in a word, of a world in which ladies to punish me,
dressed me as a girl in the most exquisite of frocks and high-heeled
shoes, gloves and corsets and, then laughing at my pretensions to a
career, kept me in bondage and subjection as a toy for their amusement.
I had fought against these fancies because I felt them to be
enervating, effeminatizing, and likely to sap my will. I had ridiculed
them as preposterous. Yet they seemed part of my nature, they returned
and now - they were translated into fact, and being translated into
fact fascinated and obsessed me with a force a thousand times stronger
than ever. If it had thrilled me with strange delightful emotions to
imagine myself dressed in the luxurious gowns of a fashionable girl,
undergoing punishments and humiliations and dainty tortures at the
hands of a laughing beautiful woman deaf to my prayers, how much more
was I of necessity thrilled and excited when the dream became true as
it was true now!
I tried however to struggle against the strange sweet pleasure which
invaded me. For I knew that Helen hated me, that she thought I had by
inheriting my father's fortune, robbed her; and I was afraid that she
and Miss Priscilla were seeking by mastering me completely to get it
back. I was afraid that Miss Priscilla, with her knowledge of
psychopathia, had guessed my secret fancies and by translating them
into fact was seeking to reduce me to a willing servitude. Was I
right? Let the reader read on. Meanwhile the pleasure mastered the
fear as it had done before. For it was the enervating pleasure of a
dream fulfilled which made me offer so miserable a resistance to my
first corset and my banishment to a girls' school. There! The truth
is out.
Miss Priscilla had one more question to ask of me as I stood there
before the mirror with my ivory ankles together and the big buckles
flashing on my glistening slippers.
"There was a third, tight white k**-glove I arranged for you to wear.
Have you it on?" I went scarlet. But if I did not answer I should be
punished. I hung my head.
"Yes Phoebe buttoned it on," I replied in a whisper of confusion. Miss
Priscilla was content.
"It will teach you to be modest in the presence of women, Denise, and
to remember that you are under their authority. You will wear it
always."
She pulled down my skirt and arranged it so that the toes of my
slippers and an inch of silk-stockinged instep were exposed. As she
finished, Helen, looking beautiful in a sweeping dcollet gown of black
velvet and shoulder length white k**-gloves entered the room.
I had not to complain of any want of admiration on her part at all
events. A look of wonder and delight shone in her face. She uttered a
little rapturous cry. She ran to me, hugged me and with passionate
kisses bruised my lips.
"Denise! I am proud of you."
I hung my head, conscious for a moment to the full of my humiliation.
I was her victim.
"Oh Denise!" She laid her face against mine with a bubbling laugh of
delight. "Your cheek is as soft and fresh as a peach. You are a
lovely girl."
"I am not a girl," I protested.
"Aren't you darling? You shall decide for yourself."
One of the great mirrors was placed behind me. Oh, how excited I
became! At last after two years I was to see what they had made of me.
The second was placed in front of me unfolded and the bulbs of electric
light which surrounded the frame of the mirrors and were so shaded as
to throw the full light of their rays upon the person standing in front
of them, were turned on. I stood in a blaze of light. I stared at
myself. I uttered a cry and covered my face with my hands.
"Oh I am! I am a girl!" I admitted with a sigh.
I saw a girl, fair face, mine but refined, softened, improved out of
knowledge. A wealth of fair glinting hair, done up in the most
fashionable style crowned it. A broad white forehead and arched
eyebrows darker than my curls, big wistful eyes of dark blue with long
dark eyelashes, a delicate nose, cheeks in which the colour came and
went. The colour of pale rose-leaves, red lips in a Cupid's bow
smiling (alas! they were smiling now) and showing a perfect set of
small white teeth, a small rounded chin, little ears - such was Evelyn
Beryl when he came back from school. Thus Violet Hind described me in
a letter. Violet and Doris Hind were cousins of Helen. They had come
to live with Helen just before I had gone away with my tutor. Violet
was a very pretty auburn-haired girl six months younger than myself.
Doris was fifteen. I spare myself the humiliation of describing myself
by quoting from her letter which Helen has given me to use. It goes
on.
"The small dainty head is supported on a slender white throat which
rises from a dimpled lovely white girl's bosom and shoulders. He has
the round white breasts of a girl. The pretty valley between them, the
little rose-petals, everything. His figure is slender, the legs long,
the feet and hands delicious. He is tall, in his high-heeled shoes
taller than Helen and about the same height as Miss Priscilla. He is a
girl."
This is what I saw in the mirror - this girl sparkling with jewels from
her feet to her curls, and dressed for a ball in the London season.
Helen was in raptures. She might well be, since this was her doing.
"You have exceeded all my expectations, darling," she said.
With little cries of delight, she ran her gloved hands over me, feeling
and pinching me behind until I was scarlet.
"Oh Helen, You mustn't," I protested.
"Nonsense, dear! I am your guardian, keep still, else I will whip the
big soft girlish thing."
"Oh, oh!"
An excruciating sensation made me blush more than ever.
"Whip it - in this lovely frock," I said shyly.
"Ah," cried Helen enthusiastically, "you love your exquisite satin
frock darling, don't you?" It rustled delightfully under her hands.
"And the tulle band here with the big sparkling buckle in front and the
big bow behind?"
"It ties my ankles delightfully," I stammered.
Oh was it I who was speaking ? "It is like a soft caress upon my
limbs."
Helen applauded me with a radiant face. She ran her daintily gloved
hands down the dress behind feeling through its thin texture my legs
and calves.
"They're charming," she cried. "They are as soft as butter. And you
love your stockings too, Denise, don't you, the exquisite stockings I
deck you out in?"
The feel of her hands pinching affectionately my calves, her dainty air
of mastery - as though she owned me - intoxicated me.
"They are deliciously cool," I said.
"And your white satin slippers with the high-heels and the pretty bows
and the sparkling buckles, you love them too? Lift up her dress to the
knees Phoebe. You love your little girl's shoes, Denise?"
Phoebe raised my skirt until the knees, the white satin garters with
the big bows and buckles and the dainty frills of my batiste pantalon
were visible.
"Look in the mirror Denise and tell me gratefully that you love them!"
"If I have got to wear girl's shoes," I replied blushing deeply, they
may as well have high-heels and diamond buckles." Something stronger
than myself made me speak. In the midst of her delight Helen exchanged
a quick glance with Miss Priscilla. It was a glance of triumph and it
put me on my guard.
Phoebe let fall my dress and Helen took me round the waist. You are
delightful Denise. You are quite a girl now with that pretty white
bosom."
"Yes, Ma'am," said Phoebe, "the breasts have come up wonderful. I
think Miss Denise ought to be grateful to Miss Priscilla for the
trouble she has taken in arranging the proper exercises and massage and
medicines.
"Oh there was no difficulty," said Miss Priscilla, "the moment I
discovered that Denise had the milk vessels of a woman, I had no doubt
that we could fit him with as pretty a pair of girl's white breasts as
any young lady could wish for."
"The milk vessels," cried Phoebe with a laugh, "then Miss Denise is a
freak?"
"Not at all," said Miss Priscilla calmly. "The men of the primitive
tribes used to have the milk-vessels. Miss Denise may be a chance
return to the primitive type. Or originally it might have been that
nature was going to give Evelyn a twin sister, and that their embryos
got mixed. That happens not infrequently.
Helen laughed.
"In any case, Denise has a girl's bosom - for life. She touched them
with her gloved fingers and daintily caressed them with little
titillations of the nipples, sending waves of delicious sensation
through my veins. "They are a real punishment, dear, for all the
trouble you have given us. You can't get rid of them as you could of
your girl's shoes and stockings if we were to let you. They are a
permanent proof to you of the wisdom of being gentle and obedient to
women."
"But you are going to let me get rid of my girl's shoes and stockings
to-morrow. You promised faithfully, Helen," I said.
Helen held me firmly, caressed me, bruised my lips with burning kisses.
"You don't want to get rid of them Denise. You love them! You love
your dainty frocks. You will be much happier as a girl."
She pleaded with me, her voice, the perfume of her breath, the feel of
her limbs through my dress against mine tempted me. I felt inclined to
let myself go in her arms, to say, "Helen I belong to you." But I
remembered my ambitions.
"No, no I have your word," I cried. "I must be a man. I am to marry
and begin a great family."
The three women burst out laughing, confusing me dreadfully.
Helen cried:
"Oh Denise I would love to see your wife's face when she first
discovers your girl's bosom. No, no my dear, you shall love your
pretty frocks, your smart corsets, your long gloves and your lovely
little high-heeled slippers."
"No, no," I insisted obstinately, and Helen with an exclamation of
annoyance let me go. She had after all only pretended to be
affectionate, though she had very nearly deceived me. Now her face
became stern with anger. She looked at me with threatening eyes.
"Very well," she said, "but I warn you Denise, you will come on your
knees to me to ask me to put you back into girl's clothes. Now go down
to the drawing-room, and take care how you walk. Point your toes, arch
your feet. Here's your fan!"
She gave me a lovely fan of ivory and gold. I turned from her towards
the door when Miss Priscilla called me back.
"You forget that you have to be punished, Denise, she said calmly; and
she told Helen of my coquetry and of the punishment she meant to
inflict.
Chapter Three
A humiliating preliminary to punishment. Gagged at my step-sister's
dinner-party. Lady Hartley's views about young ladies. "They should
be dressed beautifully and treated as dainty convicts." I am bound,
fettered and caned in my evening frock and high-heeled shoes. In the
corner, like a c***d under Miss Priscilla's observation.
************
"Certainly she must be punished," said Helen. She pushed towards me a
gilt chair with a white satin seat.
"Lift your skirt carefully, Denise, and kneel on this chair," she said
sternly.
A little frightened, I obeyed at once this humiliating order. Helen
dipped a pen in the ink upon the writing-table.
"It is the rule in this house, Denise," she said, "that one punishment
always involves a second to be inflicted later on; and so that we may
not forget it we make a note of it upon the sole of one of the
culprit's smart shoes."
"Oh!" I protested. "I am to be punished twice for the same fault."
"That is the rule. It teaches pretty young ladies to be careful to
avoid punishment altogether."
She took my instep in her hand and stooped over my feet. My position
was of course extraordinarily humiliating. But the feel of her gloved
hand on my round, warm, silk-stockinged instep, and the sight of her in
the mirror as she wrote down in a tiny hand on the new white sole of my
dainty satin-slipper the punishment I was to endure, fixing upon me the
evidence of my disgrace, sent a voluptuous thrill through my blood.
"Now stay as you are, Denise, until the ink is dry, she said, and,
laying down the pen, she adjusted my feet, taking care with her usual
love of neatness, that my ankles were pressed together, and my
high-heels and pointed toes exactly level.
Miss Priscilla meanwhile squeezed and rolled into a ball a small lace
handkerchief which she had been soaking in Eau-de-Cologne. She came
over to me with the ball in her hand.
"Open your mouth, Denise!"
I obeyed. She thrust the handkerchief into my mouth.
"Close your mouth now, dear!"
The Eau-de-Cologne burnt my tongue and the roof of my mouth in the most
painful way. Tears rifled my eyes.
" Oh! Oh!" I cried in a stifled voice, wringing my hands.
Miss Priscilla smiled at my sufferings.
"The Eau-de-Cologne will keep your mouth fresh and sweet, darling," she
said and she took up a bigger handkerchief of the finest lawn and
carefully folded it. This she adjusted over my lips and tied the end
very tightly behind at the back of my hair, binding my mouth so that I
could not utter a sound.
"Now stand up Denise!"
I stood up and Miss Priscilla carefully smoothed down my shining skirt.
What a bizarre spectacle met my eyes in the mirror! I saw a grown-up
girl in an exquisite evening gown of white satin with her mouth gagged,
her white throat and bosom flashing with jewels, her white-gloved hands
toying with a pretty fan, the delicate bows and bright buckles of her
luxurious little slippers, peeping out from delicious billows of white
tulle.
But what made the spectacle so piquant and seductive to me was the
knowledge that the pretty girl was myself, an effeminate youth in
corsets with his k**-gloved hands quite free. He could have torn the
gag from his lips in a second. There were only two ladies to prevent
him. But he did not dare. He was undergoing discipline in girls'
frocks and pearl-embroidered satin slippers at their hands. He was
being punished by them. He was in subjection.
"Now go downstairs into the drawing-room, Denise," said Helen. "Our
guests will be arriving in a minute."
I was to be seen by her guests in this ignominious condition. The
shame of it came home to me. I looked piteously at Helen. But there
was no sign of relenting in her face. Luckily, I thought, the guests
will not recognize me. It is only Denise the girl whom they will see
with the gag in her mouth and Denise disappears for ever to-morrow. I
picked up the train of my frock and went sadly out of the room. As I
turned to latch the door, I heard Helen ask:
"Well, what do you think?"
And Miss Priscilla reply:
"... In a few weeks he will be the prettiest fetichiste-du-pied in the
world." And then they both laughed heartlessly.
I was troubled by the words. What was a fetichiste-du-pied? I must
find out. I had an intuition that phrase was the secret to the riddle,
was the clue to the plot they had concocted to nullify and ruin me.
But I had no time to think about it now. My heels were so high and
thin, my skirt so tight, that I had to be extremely careful in going
downstairs. There were two big maids like Phoebe waiting in the hall
to receive the guests and they both burst out laughing when they saw
me. They knew who I was at all events and my cheeks grew hot with
shame.
There was no one as yet in the drawing-room, but my heart sank at the
ordeal in front of me.
I heard a light quick step outside and Doris Hind, now a lovely girl of
fifteen in a smart little short frock of pale pink mousseline de sole
with black silk stockings and patent leather slippers ran into the
room. A bright fire was burning in the grate; I turned to it, to hide
my gag as long as I could.
" Who are you, you pretty thing?" she asked.
I could not answer.
"What's the matter ?
She turned me round and saw the gag over my mouth. She stared at me
astonished for a moment. Then the truth broke in upon her and she
clapped her hands with pleasure.
"You are Denise. And Helen has gagged you. How delicious! You are a
perfect girl now, Denise."
I blushed to the roots of my hair, and u*********sly I placed one foot
upon the fender to warm it, lifting my skirt an inch or two. Doris
uttered a rapturous cry.
"What adorable feet! And, oh Denise, what divine little satin
slippers. Let me see!" I blushed again, but this time it was with
pleasure.
"What lovely buckles and what fairy-like bows! And those dear little
pearl-embroidered toes! And what jolly high-heels. Show me your
ankles!"
I raised the skirt higher, and the delicate cleanly rounded ankle in
its shimmering cobweb of silk and lace came into view. Doris went into
an ecstasy. "I should like to perch you on still higher heels dear,
and keep you in a glass case to show to my friends. That's really all
that you are fit for now. Walk across the room you exquisite thing,
and let me see how daintily you can do it in your beautiful high-heeled
shoes." I was delighted with her admiration, but I shook my head at her
request.
At once she stamped her foot peremptorily. "Quick, or I'll punish
you," she cried. "Pick up your train and let me see those buckles
flashing on your dainty butterfly bows this instant."
I submitted. I was beginning to learn that one of the inevitable
consequences of allowing myself to be dressed as a girl was that
everyone, even young girls like Doris, who knew the secret, treated me
as a little c***d in spite of my long dcollet gown and fine jewels. I
walked daintily across the room and back. Doris applauded me laughing.
"I don't know a girl, Denise, who wouldn't envy your figure and your
feet and ankles. Oh, but you must be kept in high-heeled shoes all
your life! It would be ridiculous now that Helen has got you so smart
and pretty to let you go back into stupid trousers."
At that moment Helen and Miss Priscilla came into the room; and the
guests began to arrive. There was Mrs. Dawson the clergyman's wife,
Lady Hartley and her pretty daughter who was just out; Mr. and Mrs.
Charles Rivers, about twenty people altogether, mostly young and all of
them neighbours whom I had known as a boy. I was introduced to them as
Denise Beryl, a cousin, and Helen explained how I came to be punished
with a gag. I had to stand and listen, but my cheeks burned with
shame.
"Denise is unfortunately very vain," said Helen. "I had to punish her
because she would show off her feet in an unlady-like way."
"She is very lucky to have got off so easily," said Lady Hartley with
severity looking down at my feet through her glasses. "I should not
only have gagged her, I should have taken her pretty slippers away from
her altogether," and then to my amazement and my horror, "Mr. Guy
Repton" was announced and my old schoolfellow came into the room.
He had been expelled in disgrace because of me. How did Helen come to
know him ? Her first words explained.
"This is my new steward and agent," she said as she introduced him. I
was horrified. He was the new manager of my estates. He was a young
man of twenty two with a fair moustache. Helen had given him a fine
position, a good income. She must have sought him out on purpose,
because I had caused his disgrace. She wished to surround me with my
enemies, I felt sure. A subtle stroke of hers was thus brought to my
notice. Guy Repton would be grateful to her and already he hated me.
Helen did not even pretend to conceal the reason for her choice of him.
She darted a triumphant look at me. I felt more and more helpless in
her hands.
We were waiting for dinner to be announced, when Lady Hartley, a
handsome matron of forty-five, came to me, took me by the arm, and led
me into a little drawing room which led off from the big one. She
pointed to a sofa.
"Lie down there on your face, young lady," and as I hesitated, she
pinched my ear painfully. "At once." Reluctantly I stretched myself
out on the sofa. Oh, what did she mean to do with me ?
"I saw something written on the sole of your slipper, as you walked
across the room," she said. "A punishment of course." She felt for my
foot under my satin gown and lifted it up, read Helen's note. She
looked puzzled. "I wonder what it means," she said. "You can get up."
We went back into the big room. Violet, Doris's elder sister had just
come down.
"I am very sorry for being late," she faltered breathlessly, with a
frightened appeal to Helen. She looked perfectly lovely in a chiffon
gown of nattier blue, which set off her white skin, and her fair hair
to perfection. Helen looked sternly at her, but did not answer.
Dinner was announced.
"Mr. Repton, will you take in Denise," said Helen. "I am sorry to
have to give you so silent a companion."
I sat gagged at the dinner-table bright with flowers, amongst those
smartly dressed people, unable to eat, unable to talk. I felt terribly
humiliated. It was cruel to make me come down to dinner at all. I
found it difficult to breathe. I was very hungry besides. It was all
I could do not to burst into tears. To make things worse the company
began to talk about me Evelyn Beryl. "It is such a pity that he is
coming home to-morrow," said Mrs. Dawson." It has been so pleasant and
peaceful here while he has been at his girls' school." Everyone agreed.
It was a revelation to me how thoroughly unpopular I was. I felt
ashamed of my past behaviour.
"I think you will all find him greatly changed for the better," said
Helen with a smile. "His head-mistress's report speaks most highly of
his docility and his ladylike ways." How I blushed. Luckily no one
knew that I was present except Helen.
"I can quite believe it," said Guy Repton with a hateful snigger. "I
think that you are all a little unjust to poor Evelyn. I don't think
that his nature is really bad, but as a boy he was not in his proper
position. He must have known that dressed in male clothes he looked
silly and ridiculous, and no doubt he felt uncomfortable, and that very
probably made him arrogant and intolerable. But dressed and treated as
a girl he would no longer have that feeling of discomfort. He would
probably be quite charming." I could have boxed Guy Repton's ears for
his impertinence. "Very likely you are right," said Lady Hartley, "but
then he ought to be kept a girl an his life."
"Oh yes," cried Mrs. Rivers turning enthusiastically to Helen. I had
thrown a stone through the drawing-room window of her house, just after
she and Charles Rivers had got married. She had never forgiven me.
Helen shook her head.
I promised him that he should not have to wear girls' clothes after the
two years if he behaved himself." She made a sign to Netta one of the
parlor-maids. Netta took the handkerchief from my mouth and the second
one from between my lips. My face was revealed, and Mrs. Rivers cried
out enthusiastically, "Oh what a pretty girl!"
I blushed with pleasure, and then the most unfortunate event occurred.
I had been sitting with my napkin on my lap, although I had no dinner.
I had been consumed with curiosity to know what strange punishment it
was which Helen had written down on the sole of my foot. So, while the
rest were talking I had slipped off my left shoe. Then dropping my
napkin I had stooped to pick it up and at the same time I picked up in
it the dainty high heeled slipper. I held it carefully in my lap and
read on the white smartly shaped new sole the words "The glass-boxes."
I was wondering what strange punishment the punishment of the
"glass-boxes could be with a thrill of awe, and believing that no one
bad seen my manoeuvre, when Mrs. Rivers uttered her admiring cry; but
Lady Hartley had been watching me and she said at once severely: "Yes,
a very pretty girl who has kicked one of her dainty slippers off."
I hung my head in confusion.
"Is that true Denise ? Let me see!" said Helen.
"Yes Helen," I said humbly and lifted up the slipper.
Helen called to Netta.
"Take a shoe-horn, and put on Miss Denise's shoe."
Netta turned round my chair, and drew the slipper on my foot and put me
back at the table. Then she took the bracelets from my wrists,
unbuttoned my gloves there, slipped my hands out and turned the gloves
back.
"Yes, a very pretty girl," said Lady Hartley severely, "but if you were
my pretty girl, I should tie her gloved hands behind her back, and
stand her in the corner with her face to the wall, and her dainty heels
together." My cheeks grew red with shame. But underneath the shame I
was suddenly conscious of a passionate longing to be punished in that
c***dish and humiliating way before all of these gaily dressed people.
I tried to shake the obsession off. It was dangerous, enervating,
effematizing. But the venom was in my veins. I tried to think of my
ambitions, my career. I could only think of the little new shining
satin slippers which so daintily imprisoned my feet under the table,
the fairly-like bows, the big blazing buckles, the pointed
pearl-embroidered toes. I felt the high Louis Quinze heels sinking
deliciously into the thick carpet. Oh to be made to stand upon them
publicly in a corner with my face to the wall, and my gloved hands tied
behind my back like a naughty c***d. I a grown up young lady in a long
satin frock with my white shoulders and bejewelled throat rising from
the lace and ruffles of my gleaming corsage! I rubbed my legs together
in a spasm of desire. And then as Netta placed my dinner before me and
filled my glass with champagne, Helen cried out with a laugh.
"But dear Lady Hartley, that is exactly what I am going to do with
Denise."
The men looked sympathetically at me, but all the ladies were
delighted. For myself I had to bend my head over my plate to hide a
smile of delight. Mr. Rivers actually pleaded for my forgiveness, but
Helen would not hear of it.
"And I think Helen is so right," said Lady Hartley. "I am very
interested in the punishment of young ladies. People allow them such a
ridiculous amount of liberty nowadays that it is quite refreshing to
find someone like Helen. To dress them beautifully and treat them like
dainty convicts. That is the only way to keep the silly creatures in
good order," she said sternly.
I ate my dinner quickly, the longing to be punished tingled through my
veins. Already I felt Helen's quick little daintily-gloved fingers
binding my wrists behind me with satin ribbons and adjusting my feet in
exquisite finery. As soon as dinner was over, cigarettes and coffee
were handed round. I lit a cigarette. It was two years since I had
smoked one. Oh how I enjoyed it now! I leaned back in my chair, a
smile of delight upon my face.
There was to be a dance for the people of the village after dinner in
the village hall. We were all to go in to it. Helen rose.
"Mr. Repton," she said, "will you take the gentlemen down to the hall
when they are ready. There are two motor-cars. They can come back for
us. If you will start the people dancing we will come in for a little
while later. Then we can all come back here, have a little dance
ourselves and some supper."
"Certainly, Miss Deverel," said Guy Repton respectfully.
The other two ladies rose and Helen said to them: "Bring your
cigarettes, all of you except Denise. I can't have you standing in the
corner Denise, with a cigarette between your lips."
Blushing I laid my cigarette on my plate and followed the ladies from
the room. As they crossed the hall, I heard Lady Hartley say to Helen:
"I thought that I read on the sole of Denise's slipper that you were
thinking of a different punishment for her."
"Yes," replied Helen, "standing in the comer I look upon as a
preliminary. The real punishment will be inflicted later on after
supper."
"It sounds a curious one - 'The glass-boxes'."
" I think it is interesting and ingenious. You shall see it."
I was curious myself as to what the punishment was going to be -
curious and frightened.
We all went into the small dressing-room, a lovely little room
decorated in white and gold with a polished parquet floor s**ttered
with thick white rugs of Persian silk. It was brightly illuminated
with shaded electric lamps and a cheerful fire burned upon the hearth.
The ladies took their seats in comfortable chairs about the fire with
an air of eager expectation, smoking their cigarettes. Helen placed me
in the middle and handed a little silver button-hook to her young
cousin in the smart short pink frock.
"Doris, put Denise's hands back into her gloves and button them
carefully," she said.
I gave my hands to Doris, who smoothed the tight white k**-gloves on
over my fingers and fixed the buttons while Helen went over to a
bureau. She opened a drawer and came back carrying a large leather
case and a number of strong white satin gleaming straps with big oval
diamond buckles sparkling upon them. She placed the leather case on
the mantel-shelf and the straps on a chair. Her face was radiant, her
eyes danced with pleasure.
"Now Denise, we will truss you up tightly and prettily," she said with
a thrill of delight in her voice. She removed from my arms the gold
bracelets above the elbows which I wore to keep my gloves stretched
tight and round each arm just where the bracelet had been she buckled a
broad white satin strap very tightly. Neither the diamond buckles nor
the eye-holes were at the ends of the straps so that after the ribbon
had been fastened two broad ends hung from each arm. These ends she
tied in big bows and passed them back through the oval buckles which
thus flashed daintily in the middle of the bows. The bows and buckles
were on the outside of my arms, and on the inside of each strap a
little steel ring was stoutly sewn. Helen then took a tiny bar of
polished steel with a spring-hook at each end of it. She snapped the
hooks on to the steel rings forcing my arms together with a strength of
which I should never have believed her capable.
"There," she said, "I can now tie the wrists comfortably." She sat
down.
"Stand with your back to me Denise." My elbows almost touched in the
small of my back. My shoulders were drawn most painfully back. An
extraordinary sense of helplessness, delightful and at the same time
alarming overwhelmed me. Slowly and with hesitation I obeyed my cruel
little tyrant. I stood in front of her chair with my back towards her,
and I crossed my daintily gloved wrists for her to bind. There were
mirrors let into the wall panels and I could see myself in my
glistening white frock, which delightfully reflected the lights, from
the buckles and pearls gleaming on my satin slippers to the curls of my