The Perfect Episode Of Benny Hill (Story Not My Ow free porn video

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This is something I pulled off one of the Yahoo club sites. It says it was written by someone named Wallace Mason. It's a dream edition of the Benny Hill Show. All I can say is, "Bravo, Wallace!"

The Ultimate Benny Hill Show No. 1 by Wallace Mason

It’s the mid 1980’s. British policewomen still where the white and black caps with chequered bands and nurses still wear blue uniforms and caps. The unaired Benny Hill show is about to start. It does include some of Benny’s real sketches, some stolen from other programmes, and others from my twisted mind.
Opening shot Benny lies in bed ill, moaning to his wife that he doesn’t want night nurse. She says it will help him sleep, he refuses. His wife opens the door to a young nurse in a nurses cap, baby doll style nurse outfit and tells the young lady to go.
Cut to a musical item, some of Benny’s songs in the setting of the old Wild West with all of Hill’s Angels dressed as cowgirls.
End of musical item.
The music strikes up cut to a wall with the following: -
“Bill Stickers Will Be Prosecuted”
Move down to show: -
“Bill Stickers Is Innocent”
Benny walks past dressed as a police inspector. He passes a sign that read “Police Cadet School”.
Cut to a line of young policewomen standing to attention in their uniforms. It is a parade. Guests are seated on a podium. Benny and a major walk up to each WPC in turn chatting to them. Henry McGee follows with a cushion with a medal on it.
Cut to two workmen hauling an enormous fan. They are Benny and the little guy. The little gut drops his end and Benny gets it on the foot. He slaps the little guy on the head.
Cut back to Inspector Hill, he is now talking to and exceptionally well endowed WPC whose young breasts stick right out. He takes the medal from the cushion and tries to put it on her chest, not sure where to place the thing. He eventually holds her tit and pins the medal on. As he walks away a hissing sound can be heard. Benny looks into the camera bemused.
Cut to the police cadet band. They are getting read on a small stage. Two young WPC’s stand on a higher level with cymbals. Two tuba players just underneath them. Benny the conductor with the thick glasses taps his baton on the baldhead of Bob Todd. He says “a practice” and the tubas blow blasting up the young WPC’s skirts to show stockings and suspenders underneath. The two WPC’s try to push down their skirts.
Cut to Inspector Hill now in front of another large chested WPC having medal trouble, he tried to pin it when the mayor taps him on the shoulder, he turns suddenly ripping the front of the young WPC’s tunic to reveal her boobs in a white bra.
Cut to the two workmen, they are resting eating their sandwiches. The fan is behind them. They laugh pointing at the above scene. The little guy bites into his sandwich and tomato ketchup sprays out.
Cut to the exposed WPC, the ketchup hits her cleavage.
Cut to Conductor Benny moving the young WPC’s he moves them so they are in front of the trombone players. They start again; the trombones play down obviously hitting the WPC’s in the bottoms. This happens several times, and then the trombones get caught up in the policewomen’s skirts. The trombone player’s pull back tearing the WPC’s skirts off showing their black stockings and suspenders, the WPC’s try to cover themselves.
Cut to Inspector Benny he is now with the WPC Sergeant who is a stern faced young woman, but has enormous breasts. He talks to her, then shakes her hand. He tits wobble as he shakes hands with her. He watches her tits bounce up and down in the confines of her uniform. He stops shaking goes to walk away then moves back, talks some more, then shakes hands again. Her tits bounce and dance once more. He stares again. Then moves off. The mayor then shakes hands with her, he is the little guy and is in direct eye line with her bouncing tits. He just won’t stop shaking; his head follows her large boobs as they bounce up and down. Henry McGee sees what he is doing and pushes him away. Talks to the WPC Sergeant, then shakes hands with her staring down as her knockers shake about.
Cut to a view of the parade ground. We hear a voice say “One two.....erm......three!”
The band starts playing. We cut to them the WPC’s still have no skirts and play above the tuba players.
Cut to the two workmen, they finish their sandwiches.
Cut to the young WPC’s, headed by their large chested sergeant as they march along.
Cut to the WPC’s in the band.
Cut to Benny the workman, he nudges the little guy gesturing to the two skirtless WPC’s in the band. The little guy falls back, hits the switch on the large industrial fan which comes on. Benny hits the little guy on the head.
Cut to the marching WPC’s, they are hit by the air from the fan, which starts tearing their clothes off. They fall to the ground struggling to keep their dignity.
Cut to the little guy who switches the fan off.
Cut to the WPC’s only in their bra, knickers, stockings, and suspenders and police caps. They are trying to cover themselves.
Inspector Benny walks over to the WPC Sergeant who is in a large purple half cut bra, purple knickers and suspenders with her black stockings and police cap. She has a deep full cleavage. Inspector Benny talks to her for a while then garbs her hand and starts shaking it watching her bra encased boobs jump about. The mayor grinning watches, as do the other men.
Fade out.
The ad break.
Back again cut to a woman in a US Calvary uniform tied to a tree, her uniform is torn at the front showing her white bra covering her ample bosoms.
Benny a cowboy walks on.
“Oh,” she cries, “it was terrible, there were ten of them all Apaches!”
Benny starts undoing his trousers; “This just ain’t your lucky day!”
Cut to an airport a young brunette air stewardess in full British Airways uniform stands at a ticket desk.
Benny is there as an American tourist.
“How would you like to pay?” says the uniformed lovely.
“American Express,” Benny holds up his card.
“That’ll do nicely sir,” the stewardess rips open her blouse showing him her dark blue bra, “And would you like to rub my tits?”
As Benny reaches for them a voice over says, “Put you head in between them and go blubble, blubble, blubble, with American Express.”
Cut to US Calvary parade ground. A young woman in a Calvary outfit stand waiting, the theme from branded starts up. An elderly General played by Benny walks into view. He takes out her sword and ties to break it over his knee, hurting himself. He takes off her hat a throws it weakly down, he rips off each of her epaulets, then starts ripping off her buttons, as he gets to the last one he keels over.
Cut to a Hills Angels dressed as nurses singing and dancing provocatively around a hospital ward. Ends with the girls doing a can can.
Cut to the WPC Sergeant less her jacket from the earlier sketch running after a crook. She catches up with him, takes out some handcuffs, there is a struggle and the crook runs away the handcuffs are on her breasts.
An ad break.
The final part opens with a shot of a Battleship. The words HMS Venus on the side of it.
Cut to Benny in the water drowning, two Wrens walk up, see him and start stripping off their uniforms until they are down to two lovely lingerie sets red and blue and their caps. Benny lifts and camera from the water and takes a few pictures.
Cut to the deck of the ship, Benny and the little guy are sailors walking along. A few Wrens pass them. The captain Bob Todd comes up and talks to them pointing to a sign that says “Visit by USAN Crockett.” And Todd points out.
Cut to a shot of a US aircraft carrier.
Cut back to Todd who hands Benny and the little guy mops and buckets.
Cut to the men later cleaning a deck; a Wren walks past, stops and adjusts her suspender. Benny accidentally hits the little guy in the face with the mop, making him spin around and smack into the chest of a WAVE (played by same busty woman who played WPC Sergeant) who is with the captain and the US Captain (played by Henry McGee). He tries to pull away but his jacket is caught to a medal on her chest. Every time they try to pull him away his pings back his face smacking with her boobs until she eventually falls over and he lands on top of her, face sandwiched by her tits.
The captain has a go at Benny who takes out a pair of scissors. He joins the two on the ground, snipping is heard.
The little guy stands up; free with the Waves uniform stuck on his face. The Wave turns to show the front half of her uniform cut away, she has no bra on and quickly covers her boobs with her hands. The US Captain tries to pull her away, pulling her arm releasing a boob, which pops out and is quickly covered.
The captain shouts at Benny and the little guy.
Cut to the Wave in her quarters putting on a bra with nothing on top, a skirt and her Navy hat. She hasn’t quite finished it. There is a knock on the door, she turns, Benny stands there with a parcel, throws it to her, and she lets go of her bra, which falls, as she catches the parcel showing Benny everything.
Cut to the Wrens changing room, the Hills Angels are half in uniform half out. Benny walks in and they all throw their bras at him. He grabs them and runs out. The Wrens realise he now has their bras.
Cut to the deck of the ship, the Captains stands on a podium doing a speech, the US Captain is next to him. The five US Waves including the original one stand on the podium.
Ten Wrens stand in a line listening to their captain.
Cut to Benny and the little guy on a higher level with a huge fan, they giggle and turn it on.
The Wrens clothes are torn away by the fan, they have no bras and struggle to cover themselves and hold their hats on. Cut to Benny laughing.
Cut to captain shouting, he waves his fist.
A chase starts. Benny and the little guy being chased by the Us Captain, the captain, five Waves and ten topples Wrens in stockings and suspenders, still with their hats on and holding their arms or hands over their tits.
Benny and the little guy run along the deck. Benny grabs a bucket of soapy water and throws it over the deck. The U.S. Captain and U.K. Captain sk** on the water and end up falling over the side of the ship. The first four Waves fall arse over tit; their skirts riding up showing their knickers and stockings. The ten Wrens slip over revealing their breasts, some land on their bosoms, sliding across the deck. Finally the first Wave sk**s right into Benny pushing him on the floor, she is on top of him, her tits right in his face. He holds her there and rubs his face in her tits.

The end.

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Series: Tom Welling SeriesTitle: Shooting the first episode of the new seasonSummary: Something incredible happens after finishing shooting the very first episode of the new season.Rating: NC-17Disclaimer: Only own the other character, which will remain nameless. That's right, no Jan! Now you can imagine YOURSELF in the story... if you're male. Feedback: Pretty please? *puppy dog eyes* Even if it shocked you, or it was totally ridiculous.Note: This will be very different from the other fics. I...

3 years ago
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Maa bani Sautan 8211 Episode I

Hi , all reader. Mai RKV ek regular reader ISS ka. Maine yaha par bahot sari kahani pathi. Maine itani kahani pathi hai ki ab mai ek achchi khasi kitab likh sakata hu.Iskeliye mai ab kahani likh raha hu mujhe yakin hai ye tumhe pasand aayegi. ” Maa bani sautan” ek aisi samaj ki kahana jaha chodna jaruri hai. Yaha par ek parivar hai jiski taraqi uski saas ko biwi banane par hai. Mai ise ek hindi serial ki tarah pes kar raha hu jaise TV par hota hai. Mujhe yakin hai aap isko superhit banao ge....

3 years ago
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The Story Of Barbara Episode 5

Confession: Me Barbara transvestite - How I became the sub of a Master Help for the reader. This confession is based on real facts. Episode 5 - The quest I was thirty years old and already had a lot of lovers and experiences with men, often straight, bi, but rarely with real gay men. The men I met, through classified ads on the Internet were in need of sexual fantasies and they knew that we tgirls loved men and we do them refused anything in sex. My lovers had all perceived, in...

3 years ago
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Dark Hill

My name is Ted Howard and my wife's name is Beth. We have three children; Carl aged 10, Mike age 8 and Beth age 5. It all started so very innocently with my wife and me enjoying our first vacation by ourselves in over ten years and evolved into something that seems like a fantastic dream than reality. Over the past ten years we have had three children and every vacation had included each of them as they came along. Now, with the children staying with my wife's parents for the summer, we were...

1 year ago
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I Seduced My Dads Law part

So these won’t really be like stories. At least not yet since I don’t really know how to make up stuff like the writers on here. It will be more like a diary or a blog to tell you about the sex things and other things in my life. This first diary entry I’m gonna give you some background so you understand why I picked this guy for my first time. So this happened yesterday and I’m writing quite fast because I’m so excited so if I spell stuff wrong or whatever, hey it’s my first story ok? So...

First Time
2 years ago
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The Sex Rehab Diaries Broo

“I’m Brooklyn, and… whatever… I guess I’m a sex addict.” I glared at the group of pathetic faces in the circle surrounding me. This is so fucking lame. Why did I sign up for this? It was bad enough that I’d had to endure public humiliation when the scandal broke, but being away from the city in this touchy feely rehab centre set my nerves more on edge than they did to soothe them, which I’m sure was their original intention. From the moment I’d checked into The Belleview Retreat for Sexual...

Anal
3 years ago
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Jennifers Eggnog

The first shot struck Jennifer under the chin. That one came from Lawrence. She was still yelping when Trent’s delivery took her full in the face, filling her mouth and blinding her in an explosion of thick white. She spat and wiped her eyes clear, then pursued her boyfriend, scooping snow as she ran. Trent taunted as he fled, but stumbled knee-deep in a drift. “Bastard!” She laughed as she pelted him, then pushed him over while he was still off-balance. He pulled her with him and they rolled...

Group Sex
1 year ago
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Lonely Housewife

She needed to have her senses challenged, to feel nature close to her; she didn’t want to hug-a-tree, she wanted the trees to hug her. Feeling more at home sitting on the wooden staircase than anywhere else, she observed the door that lead out into the front of the property. She stared, admiring the beauty of the oak grain, before raising her head to look up to the small window above the door frame. Before she arrived at her new home in a new state with her family, watching wispy clouds drift...

Masturbation
3 years ago
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The Lavender Hill Ladies and the Kenton Manor Maids

THE LAVENDER HILL LADIES AND THE KENTON MANOR MAIDS by enduringshades This is the second Lavender Hill Ladies adventure, the first was the 'The Lavender Hill Ladies Luncheon Club'. For new readers, or as a reminder, I start off with a brief description of each of the Ladies. Otherwise you are welcome to skip to the beginning of the story. THE LADIES The Lavender Hill Ladies started as the Lavender Hill Girls, when four straight crossdressing undergraduates shared a student house...

4 years ago
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Nights To Remember

I escaped my fucked-up life into late-night erotic fantasies for years as waves crashed onto the sand beneath my balcony. I frequented my favorite site and started writing stories after becoming enamored with an author. Her stories had dirty, rough stuff I loved but also sensual and tender in a way I tried to emulate but couldn't master. I fantasized she spent hours getting aroused reading my words as I did hers. When she joined a new site, I quickly followed, seizing an opportunity to become...

Straight Sex
3 years ago
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Altered Fates The Missing Episode of the Fugitive

As always, any comments or criticism is welcome. Feel free to email me at [email protected]. This story is dedicated to the creator of the Altered Fates Universe, Jennifer Adams and to the cast and crew of the 60's television series The Fugitive, still perhaps the finest drama series made for television. I also want to thank Steve Zink for his editing and general story help. Author's Note: Thank you to the original creators of the Fugitive TV series. Below is the cast, mostly...

1 year ago
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The Sex Rehab Diaries Kyli

“I’m Kylie, and I’m a sex addict.” I tried not to cry. It would have made things exponentially more embarrassing than just standing in front of the room telling a group of strangers that I was basically a sexual deviant. I bit down on my lower lip instead, producing just enough sharp discomfort to keep the girly tears back. I couldn’t believe I had really committed to this. Of course, I guess one could argue that I wasn’t very good with commitments, as it was. Ever since the depraved incident...

Group Sex
2 years ago
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Shelbys Dirty Vacation

“You’re such a whore, Shelby! But that’s still fucking hot…” Chelsie said as I briefly mentioned one particular aspect of my vacation to the Cayman Islands. “How were they? Big? Muscular? Come on, Shelby, details!” “Geez, let’s not be too demanding here. It was just sex on the beach with three incredibly hot guys! After all, I was on vacation…” I just stared at Chelsie, hoping she wouldn’t judge me for spilling the contents of my wild and dirty vacation. “Oh, please do tell! And you couldn’t...

Group Sex
3 years ago
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Billion Dollar Booty Call

Chelsea was late, the victim of a failed alarm clock and cab shortage. She silently cursed her tight skirt and heels as she flew through the lobby, skidding across the polished marble floor just in time to catch the elevator. Breathless, she jumped in, glanced at her watch, and exhaled in relief. The button to the fifth floor was already glowing, pressed by the elevator’s only other occupant. When she turned to say good morning, the words stuck in her throat. It was Liam, the gorgeous new...

Group Sex
2 years ago
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Bad Habits Need Hard Measur

For the first few weeks working at Joelle’s, my feet never really touched the floor. This was everything I had dreamed of, and more. In case you don’t know about her - though I’d be curious if you didn’t - Joelle’s the woman who turned makeup into a true art. Where others only “applied” lipstick, rouge and eye shadow, she painted with an artist’s skill and turned the plainest women into goddesses, into true artwork. Nobody knew her surname, and nobody needed to. All the big stars flocked to her...

Spanking
3 years ago
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Fade to Black

Aidan Black stared at the online text that flashed up onto the screen. ‘I luv ur stories!’ He yawned, and took another sip of his Jack Daniels. He quickly typed a reply and then leaned back in his chair. ‘What do you like about them?’ He smiled at the long pause. All these fans are the same, he thought to himself. Innocent young girls that dream of being treated like dirty sluts and too afraid to tell their college boyfriends that doggy-style after a long alcohol-fused pub crawl just wasn’t...

Reluctance
4 years ago
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Jailbait

It had been five years since my wife died. I was stuck in a rut. It was as if my life had stalled the day Gina passed away. I was as emotionally healed as I would ever be, yet I lacked the will to go out and start anew. I worked, I came home. I slept, and then I headed back to work again the very next day. My life became a cycle. Rinse and repeat, ad infinitum.Maybe that’s why I allowed Christie to get so close to me. I told myself I just needed the help, but had I thought it through, I would...

Taboo
2 years ago
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Im Sorry Daddy

Kailee knew she shouldn’t be here. He warned her of what would happen if she came into his space alone again. Shane, her father in-law was a good man, but he liked things his way. He wanted everything run his way. When Kailee and his son had to move back in with him and his wife while their place was being finished, the rules had been simple. Stay out of his office. Last week Kailee had been wandering around the large house, bored and looking for something to do. She walked down the hall and...

Taboo
4 years ago
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Danis Dilemma

I watched his plane lift off and disappear into the eastern sky. As I slowly walked across the airport terminal to the parking lot, I tried to compose myself as I wiped the last few tears from my cheeks. I could still feel his lips on my lips and the lingering scent of his shaving soap was still with me, but both sensations were rapidly vanishing. As I climbed into the car, I leaned back one last time saying good-bye to the man I loved. The feeling of the strength of his arms around me in our...

Voyeur
3 years ago
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Caught in the Act

Anna had only been living with Lincoln for three months, one week and five days when he walked in on her masturbating. He’d originally left with an overnight bag swinging from his clenched fist and a casual comment thrown over his shoulder to let her know he'd be spending the weekend at a friend’s place. Ten minutes after he'd walked out the door she'd stripped down to her tank top and panties, feeling the urgent need to relieve some of the tension that being around him regularly caused. In...

Straight Sex
2 years ago
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The Cabo Connection

Damon: I’ll bet you’ll get up to some trouble in Cabo.  I smirked at the text that flashed up on our chat-log from the computer screen. He was always teasing me. Ashleigh: No trouble. At least not the good kind of trouble. I’m going with my boyfriend don’t forget. There was a pause, and while I anticipated his next words, I took a sip of the vodka soda I was prone to drinking while I spent my online hours chatting with my favorite virtual stranger, DamonX. I leaned back in my computer chair and...

Taboo
2 years ago
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Totally Unacceptable

Dedication: This story is just a bit of fun and is respectfully dedicated to all the tireless story checkers on Lush, whose hard work makes this site possible and who have to put with rubbish like this every day. Also, thanks must go to Fugly, whose story "Bag of Lush All Sorts" was the inspiration for this piece.I was in only my second month at Global Biofuels and still finding my way around the organisation. As the head of procurement in a modern, forward-thinking, ethical company, I had to...

Taboo
2 years ago
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Gregor of Hartshorn Hill

Note from the author: Jarrod of Hartshorn Hill is the First of this Series. Druesha of Hartshorn Hill is the Second of this Series. Fallon of Hartshorn Hill is the Third of this Series. Evan of Hartshorn Hill is the Fourth of this Series. Avalon of Hartshorn Hill is the Fifth of this Series. * * * * * Gregor had been born a slave. Usually when you are born a slave, you never know your parents. Slave babies are sent to the slave nursery until they are old enough to perform simple...

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