Gidget Surfs Up At Bikini Beach
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The One Time I Get To Be With A "10"... free porn video
everything you're about to read is true. names have been changed to protect the wicked, but this is a true, alcohol-fogged account of what really happened. believe as much or as little as you wish, but if you ever meet me i'll tell it exactly the same way because it really happened like this.
somewhere around my 30th birthday i moved to milwaukee, wisconsin. prior to that i had lived nearly my entire life about 100 miles south, in chicago. the 3 years i spent in milwaukee were filled with adventures of all kinds, and some of them involved me meeting and fucking a lot of women. some of them were hot, some were sexy freaks, a couple were married or otherwise taken. but tanya was, and in my mind still is, the first "10" i ever fucked. it was also the worst sex i've ever had.
i was still new to town when a coworker of mine, ray, took me out on a saturday night. we bar-hopped around a few places in "the hood" that were not quite safe but fun, and after i found myself several sheets to the wind, he thought we were ready to check out this place a little further out. it was a hip-hop club and i'm not too much into hip-hop, so i was mostly interested in finding the bar so i could have something to hold onto to keep me upright as i was past the point of no return. once inside i staggered and stumbled to it behind ray, got us a couple of beers and sipped slowly as he roamed the room looking for a cut buddy for the night.
after getting reached over and around and spilled on a few times, i figured i'd better move around a little bit so as not to smell completely like a still if the cops pulled me over on the way home. i started to manouver my way over towards the dance floor, figuring my unsteady gait wouldn't look out of place to folks dancing, and there she was.
the place was dimly lit and filled will all kinds of smoke, legal and i*****l. it was also crowded, probably a thousand people more or less. through the darkness and smoke and crowd, and with my advanced state of inebriation, i saw across the room one of the most beautiful women i've met before or since. there even seemed to be a light shining on her as the crowd parted ever so slightly so that i couldn't help but see her. it was like something out of a movie, only there were no violins or angelic voices singing, just a k**ney-rattling thudding bass. somehow the sea of people parted just enough for me to stagger through without ending up in a fistfight (or worse) for stepping on an expensive pair of shoes, and i made it over to her, most likely looking like a well-dressed hobo, ready to accost her for some spare change.
amazingly enough, when i slurred out "hello there", she replied with a blushing smile and said "hi". i knew i had rapidly diminishing speech and motor skills, so i figured i needed to go with a bare-bones, cut-to-the-chase approach so i could get the rejection over before i fell over, because more than the bass was causing the room to move for me. i said, "hi, i'm myssterymann and i apologize for having had too many drinks but i had to talk to you so that we can talk again when i'm a little more myself. tomorrow or any day soon, i'd like to meet you for coffee and get to know you." she kept smiling and blushing and the i realized that she was with several other women who were smiling and giggling a little as well. and surprisingly enough, she introduced herself and the women she was with, who turned out to be her older sisters, and she wrote her name and number on a napkin and told me to call her the next day.
at some point the next day, i'm pretty sure it was late afternoon, my head woke me up pretty angry with me about how i had treated my liver the night before. once i had gulped down all the aspirin i had in my apartment with as much water as i could drink, i went through the pockets of the clothes i still had on from last night, and found her number. now that i knew she existed, i found my cellphone and called my wingman, ray, to find out what really happened. "yeah dude, you must be living right" he said, "she's just as fine as you remember, and you couldn't remember where you parked your car." this immediately lifted the fog in my skull, and now i had to see if i had fallen victim to the oldest trick in the book: the dreaded wrong number on a napkin scam.
as it turned out, the number was correct and she was excited to hear from me. her sisters thought i was handsome and they didn't think i was that drunk at all. we chit-chatted for a while about the little things that people who have just met chit chat about, and then she invited me over to hang out for a bit as long as i didn't mind hanging out with her two year old son as well.
i don't have any k**s but i understand that most women past the age of 25 have at least one, and i'm pretty good with them (although i'm much better with dogs). so i agreed to stop by and make a better second impression.
she didn't live far and i showered a few times and gargled a few more to wash the booze off of and out of me, then i stopped and picked up a red rose along with some altoids as i headed her way. once i arrived, we sat on the couch and got to know each other. in broad daylight, she was every bit as beautiful (not cute, not pretty) as i thought, and she was pretty sexy too, with just enough curves to be enticing. and then i found out she was 19.
don't get me wrong. age really is just a number for most folks and there's nothing like a 19 year old body. i wish i still had mine, as skinny as it was, but there's very little that a 19 year old and a 30 year old have in common, but the age difference would turn out to be the least of our problems.
we went out on a couple of dates, i met her sisters again a couple of times and they liked me and i liked them. even her son seemed to like me, and things were going well...until we decided to have sex.
one night after a date, we went back to my place. it wasn't fancy but it was a nice apartment and, being a bachelor, it was part game room, part seduction suite. my spare bedroom had my tv and xbox and my bedroom had the canopy bed and uber count sheets. then there was the fireplace.
we sat by the fireplace sipping wine and talking and i was determined to let her make the first move. i didn't have much experience with women this much younger than me and i didn't want to be overbearing or intimidating. i didn't have to wait long, as there was a point when i was talking and she stopped me mid-sentence with a kiss, and a firm hand on my crotch. "you're not like the other guys i've gone out with, they're so busy trying to get me naked they never even talk to me." i lied. "at the end of the day if something more comes out of this i'm cool with that, if not, i'm cool with that too." it's amazing what you will say to a beautiful woman with her hand on your crotch. i felt like the clock was expiring and i was pulling up for a jump shot to win, she was ready and all i had to do was not do anything stupid.
she smiled the biggest smile and started to unbuckle my pants as she tried to stick her tongue down my esophagus. needless to say, once she released me from my pants and underwear, i was harder than diamonds, but i needed to make it past 30 seconds. hell...15 seconds would have been good, as attracted as i was to her. but i had a thing for her, and i didn't want this to be a one-time thing, and i needed this to be an epic performance on my part, so i turned the tables and started undressing her, kissing her neck and nibbling her ears all the while.
once we were both naked, i took her hand and led her to the bed, where i laid her down gently and kissed her from her neck to her sweetness, and this is where i sensed i was in trouble. some years before, a friend of mine who was a lesbian taught me how women like to be licked, and i was a willing pupil (unlike the rest of my life's schooling). so when i felt tanya wiggle and giggle, while she whispered "that tickles", i figured i would have to go to plan C (plan B is classified).
knowing that i was so turned on by her, penetration could be over before she knew what happened, i started trying to think about any and everything else besides how good she was going to feel wrapped around me. and then i made up my mind that i was going to perform my masterpiece, my sistene chapel, my mona lisa of lovemaking. i was going to fuck her so well she would get wet watching a mystery movie.
so i opened her legs, laid down over her and moistened the tip of my dick on her pussy as i kissed her neck. she moaned and i knew i was about to win the world series, nba finals and super bowl in about an hour (or 15 minutes, depending on home field advantage). i started with the dot-dot-dash, two short strokes and a balls deep long one, then followed up with pulling out so that the tip was barely in before plunging deep into her again. next i tried stirring the pot followed by pulling her legs up, holding her behind her knees with my elbows. i was tearing this pussy up and i hadn't even broken a sweat. now came time for me to bring the intensity to a fever pitch, and i looked down at her, wanting to lock eyes with her, but hers were closed. and she wasn't moving. or saying anything.
at this point i got a little scared and stopped what i was doing to figure if she was breathing, which she was, but she was just...there. "baby?" i asked. and she replied, "don't stop baby." so i kept going but she was just laying there. at this point, i'm starting to shrivel up faster than a 90 year old in an epsom salt bath, so i ask, "is everything ok baby?" and she says, "did you cum yet baby?" and now i'm pretty much done for the night.
while i'll never win a trophy for sex, and i know not every woman i've been with thought i was mind-blowingly good in bed, but this would be a bust of monumental proportions. was her baby-daddy hung like a herd of elephants? not that i'm even hung like a baby elephant but i've learned to work with my shortcomings. i've always had requests for encores, but this was me getting booed off the stage. i was bewildered, hurt and demoralized. and my dick never looked so small as when i went to the bathroom to clean up before i took her home.
after i cried myself to sleep in the fetal position, i woke up to my cellphone ringing and it was...tanya? her sisters were cooking out and she wanted me to come. i said yes before my mind caught up to my mouth and after i hung up i sat there staring at the ceiling. and then my confidence returned. no woman i know who has ever had bad sex with a man will call him again - ever. so it wasn't me, but i felt so sad for her. she could stand naked without moving a muscle and 30% of heterosexual men (and about 3% of homosexual men) could cum all over creation, yet she was a living, breathing blow up doll.
i went to the cookout with her sisters that day, but left early, pretending to have a headache. me and my wingman ray went out later that night and went to another club where we never even made it to the door. ray got a ride home from one of the women we met outside and i got ridden by the other...and all was right with the world.
somewhere around my 30th birthday i moved to milwaukee, wisconsin. prior to that i had lived nearly my entire life about 100 miles south, in chicago. the 3 years i spent in milwaukee were filled with adventures of all kinds, and some of them involved me meeting and fucking a lot of women. some of them were hot, some were sexy freaks, a couple were married or otherwise taken. but tanya was, and in my mind still is, the first "10" i ever fucked. it was also the worst sex i've ever had.
i was still new to town when a coworker of mine, ray, took me out on a saturday night. we bar-hopped around a few places in "the hood" that were not quite safe but fun, and after i found myself several sheets to the wind, he thought we were ready to check out this place a little further out. it was a hip-hop club and i'm not too much into hip-hop, so i was mostly interested in finding the bar so i could have something to hold onto to keep me upright as i was past the point of no return. once inside i staggered and stumbled to it behind ray, got us a couple of beers and sipped slowly as he roamed the room looking for a cut buddy for the night.
after getting reached over and around and spilled on a few times, i figured i'd better move around a little bit so as not to smell completely like a still if the cops pulled me over on the way home. i started to manouver my way over towards the dance floor, figuring my unsteady gait wouldn't look out of place to folks dancing, and there she was.
the place was dimly lit and filled will all kinds of smoke, legal and i*****l. it was also crowded, probably a thousand people more or less. through the darkness and smoke and crowd, and with my advanced state of inebriation, i saw across the room one of the most beautiful women i've met before or since. there even seemed to be a light shining on her as the crowd parted ever so slightly so that i couldn't help but see her. it was like something out of a movie, only there were no violins or angelic voices singing, just a k**ney-rattling thudding bass. somehow the sea of people parted just enough for me to stagger through without ending up in a fistfight (or worse) for stepping on an expensive pair of shoes, and i made it over to her, most likely looking like a well-dressed hobo, ready to accost her for some spare change.
amazingly enough, when i slurred out "hello there", she replied with a blushing smile and said "hi". i knew i had rapidly diminishing speech and motor skills, so i figured i needed to go with a bare-bones, cut-to-the-chase approach so i could get the rejection over before i fell over, because more than the bass was causing the room to move for me. i said, "hi, i'm myssterymann and i apologize for having had too many drinks but i had to talk to you so that we can talk again when i'm a little more myself. tomorrow or any day soon, i'd like to meet you for coffee and get to know you." she kept smiling and blushing and the i realized that she was with several other women who were smiling and giggling a little as well. and surprisingly enough, she introduced herself and the women she was with, who turned out to be her older sisters, and she wrote her name and number on a napkin and told me to call her the next day.
at some point the next day, i'm pretty sure it was late afternoon, my head woke me up pretty angry with me about how i had treated my liver the night before. once i had gulped down all the aspirin i had in my apartment with as much water as i could drink, i went through the pockets of the clothes i still had on from last night, and found her number. now that i knew she existed, i found my cellphone and called my wingman, ray, to find out what really happened. "yeah dude, you must be living right" he said, "she's just as fine as you remember, and you couldn't remember where you parked your car." this immediately lifted the fog in my skull, and now i had to see if i had fallen victim to the oldest trick in the book: the dreaded wrong number on a napkin scam.
as it turned out, the number was correct and she was excited to hear from me. her sisters thought i was handsome and they didn't think i was that drunk at all. we chit-chatted for a while about the little things that people who have just met chit chat about, and then she invited me over to hang out for a bit as long as i didn't mind hanging out with her two year old son as well.
i don't have any k**s but i understand that most women past the age of 25 have at least one, and i'm pretty good with them (although i'm much better with dogs). so i agreed to stop by and make a better second impression.
she didn't live far and i showered a few times and gargled a few more to wash the booze off of and out of me, then i stopped and picked up a red rose along with some altoids as i headed her way. once i arrived, we sat on the couch and got to know each other. in broad daylight, she was every bit as beautiful (not cute, not pretty) as i thought, and she was pretty sexy too, with just enough curves to be enticing. and then i found out she was 19.
don't get me wrong. age really is just a number for most folks and there's nothing like a 19 year old body. i wish i still had mine, as skinny as it was, but there's very little that a 19 year old and a 30 year old have in common, but the age difference would turn out to be the least of our problems.
we went out on a couple of dates, i met her sisters again a couple of times and they liked me and i liked them. even her son seemed to like me, and things were going well...until we decided to have sex.
one night after a date, we went back to my place. it wasn't fancy but it was a nice apartment and, being a bachelor, it was part game room, part seduction suite. my spare bedroom had my tv and xbox and my bedroom had the canopy bed and uber count sheets. then there was the fireplace.
we sat by the fireplace sipping wine and talking and i was determined to let her make the first move. i didn't have much experience with women this much younger than me and i didn't want to be overbearing or intimidating. i didn't have to wait long, as there was a point when i was talking and she stopped me mid-sentence with a kiss, and a firm hand on my crotch. "you're not like the other guys i've gone out with, they're so busy trying to get me naked they never even talk to me." i lied. "at the end of the day if something more comes out of this i'm cool with that, if not, i'm cool with that too." it's amazing what you will say to a beautiful woman with her hand on your crotch. i felt like the clock was expiring and i was pulling up for a jump shot to win, she was ready and all i had to do was not do anything stupid.
she smiled the biggest smile and started to unbuckle my pants as she tried to stick her tongue down my esophagus. needless to say, once she released me from my pants and underwear, i was harder than diamonds, but i needed to make it past 30 seconds. hell...15 seconds would have been good, as attracted as i was to her. but i had a thing for her, and i didn't want this to be a one-time thing, and i needed this to be an epic performance on my part, so i turned the tables and started undressing her, kissing her neck and nibbling her ears all the while.
once we were both naked, i took her hand and led her to the bed, where i laid her down gently and kissed her from her neck to her sweetness, and this is where i sensed i was in trouble. some years before, a friend of mine who was a lesbian taught me how women like to be licked, and i was a willing pupil (unlike the rest of my life's schooling). so when i felt tanya wiggle and giggle, while she whispered "that tickles", i figured i would have to go to plan C (plan B is classified).
knowing that i was so turned on by her, penetration could be over before she knew what happened, i started trying to think about any and everything else besides how good she was going to feel wrapped around me. and then i made up my mind that i was going to perform my masterpiece, my sistene chapel, my mona lisa of lovemaking. i was going to fuck her so well she would get wet watching a mystery movie.
so i opened her legs, laid down over her and moistened the tip of my dick on her pussy as i kissed her neck. she moaned and i knew i was about to win the world series, nba finals and super bowl in about an hour (or 15 minutes, depending on home field advantage). i started with the dot-dot-dash, two short strokes and a balls deep long one, then followed up with pulling out so that the tip was barely in before plunging deep into her again. next i tried stirring the pot followed by pulling her legs up, holding her behind her knees with my elbows. i was tearing this pussy up and i hadn't even broken a sweat. now came time for me to bring the intensity to a fever pitch, and i looked down at her, wanting to lock eyes with her, but hers were closed. and she wasn't moving. or saying anything.
at this point i got a little scared and stopped what i was doing to figure if she was breathing, which she was, but she was just...there. "baby?" i asked. and she replied, "don't stop baby." so i kept going but she was just laying there. at this point, i'm starting to shrivel up faster than a 90 year old in an epsom salt bath, so i ask, "is everything ok baby?" and she says, "did you cum yet baby?" and now i'm pretty much done for the night.
while i'll never win a trophy for sex, and i know not every woman i've been with thought i was mind-blowingly good in bed, but this would be a bust of monumental proportions. was her baby-daddy hung like a herd of elephants? not that i'm even hung like a baby elephant but i've learned to work with my shortcomings. i've always had requests for encores, but this was me getting booed off the stage. i was bewildered, hurt and demoralized. and my dick never looked so small as when i went to the bathroom to clean up before i took her home.
after i cried myself to sleep in the fetal position, i woke up to my cellphone ringing and it was...tanya? her sisters were cooking out and she wanted me to come. i said yes before my mind caught up to my mouth and after i hung up i sat there staring at the ceiling. and then my confidence returned. no woman i know who has ever had bad sex with a man will call him again - ever. so it wasn't me, but i felt so sad for her. she could stand naked without moving a muscle and 30% of heterosexual men (and about 3% of homosexual men) could cum all over creation, yet she was a living, breathing blow up doll.
i went to the cookout with her sisters that day, but left early, pretending to have a headache. me and my wingman ray went out later that night and went to another club where we never even made it to the door. ray got a ride home from one of the women we met outside and i got ridden by the other...and all was right with the world.
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