The Case Of The Mauve Database free porn video

Some of you may remember my postings as Kokepelli. After a 2600 mile move to a new job, I decided to go back to using a human name. Getting settled left little time to write, but here is my first offering from my new home. It was intended as a comedy, but didn't seem to end up quite that way. It was inspired by a Dilbert cartoon, and went downhill from there :) Enjoy ----------------------------------------------- The Case of the Mauve Database by Sarah Miller ***************** "Oh, God, not again!" thought Henry as his rotund, balding, suit wearing boss approached. Gerard Lopford was wearing his normal vacuous smile, and making a beeline straight for Henry's cubicle. "Good morning, Henry!" Gerard boomed. "I've got a great idea for a project I want you to tackle." "But I'm already swamped!" "Just work a little more overtime. Come on, Henry, I can't trust anyone but you with this." "Gerry, I'm working 60 to 70 hours a week now. I can't do any more." "Well, maybe you could be replaced, then." "Shit," Henry muttered. Louder, he replied, " OK, what's this great idea." "I think we should build an SQL data base." Henry frowned severely, and almost drew blood when he bit his tongue. It was obvious that Gerard had been reading trade magazines again. It was his most dangerous past-time. Gerard had no clue that he was asking for something that went on daily within the group. Its what they did for a living. But Henry knew that his pinhead boss really would fire him if he didn't go along. He really should go find another job, but this one paid exceptionally well. It had to. He sighed. "OK, boss, what color would you like that database?" Henry asked, fighting to keep from laughing. "I think it should be mauve. That's supposed to have the most RAM." Henry nodded, and Gerard waddled back to his office. Henry was at a complete loss as to what to do about this. He was leaning back in his chair staring at the ceiling when Sylvia came into his cubicle and sat down in his visitor's chair. "I heard the whole thing, Henry. What the Hell are you gonna do to satisfy this weirdness. He'll throw your ass out on the street if he's not happy with whatever it is you do." "Yeah, I know. This sucks. Maybe I should just kill him. Run a stake through his chest and let all the air out. I can't afford to lose this job. You can't afford me to leave either. Eighty percent of my hours are for your projects." "I know. I work for him too, ya know. Well, let me know if you think of something. I'll do what I can to make it fly." "OK, thanks. But he really does need to go. I'll come up with something." Henry pretty much forgot about the phantom project for the rest of the day as he worked like a demon to get his highest priority job finished. The code was supposed to go to testing in two days. He finally got up and went home. He pulled in his driveway at 10:00, swallowed the sandwich his wife handed him, and collapsed on the couch. He missed his wife, and wished he could spend more time with her. Within 45 minutes of parking the car, he was already in bed, trying to get some rest before another grueling 14 hour day tomorrow. **************** Henry pulled into the company parking lot shortly before seven, puzzled at the large number of police cars with their lights flashing, and puzzled at the ambulance with no lights flashing. He hurried inside, where he was immediately accosted by a uniformed cop and some guy in a suit. "Henry Jenson?" the suit asked. "Yeah, who are you, and what the hell is going on here?" "Detective Quirk. Malcolm Quirk. We'd like to ask you a few questions." "You can ask away. I can't stop you. But I'm not gonna answer any until you tell me what's going on. I've got a lot of work to do." "You don't like your boss, Gerard Lopford," stated the detective. When Henry didn't respond, the detective's face flashed red with anger. "I asked you a question, I need you to answer it," he spat at Henry. Unflappable, Henry merely stated, "You made a statement, you didn't ask a question. And I've already told you I'm not in the mood to answer any questions unless you tell me what's going on." "OK, wiseass, here's a question. How bad did you hate your boss, Gerard Lopford?" Henry shook his head sadly. "You hard of hearing? What the fuck is going on?" "You wanna play that way? Fine. Your boss is dead. Knocked over the head with some kinda statue, then had a metal rod pushed through his chest. Sound familiar?" Henry sat down, stunned. As much as he hated Gerard Lopford, he still couldn't believe the bastard was dead. And it sounded like the cops thought he did it. So he asked the only possible question. "Why would that sound familiar. This is the first I've heard that he was dead." "Smartass, huh? Would you care to come down to the station to finish this conversation?" "I think it _is_ finished. I gather you think I had something to do with this. Well, I didn't. Gerry was already gone when I left work yesterday, and I went straight home and went to bed. I got up and came here. That's it." "Well, you had the most to gain from killing him. We know about this mauve database thing. I don't pretend to know what that is, but your boss thought it was important. And you didn't want to do it. We know you threatened to kill him." "Everybody in this office has threatened to kill him. He was a moron, a mean-spirited jerk. Whoever did this has my best wishes. But it wasn't me." "We think it was. And we'll prove it. Don't leave town." With that Detective Malcolm Quirk turned and strode from the scene. It was several hours before the police finished. Henry learned from his coworkers that Gerard had been killed in his office sometime between 9:00 and midnight. Henry knew it had been after 9:30, because that's when he left, and he was sure everyone else was gone. He hadn't checked every office, but all the other lights were out. So he'd simply turned off the lights in his area and locked the door behind him. And now this. Lots of people had heard the threat, and it looked like the time frame left him vulnerable. This worried him to no end, so he worked rather listlessly through the rest of the morning. "Hey Henry, feel like lunch?" Henry jumped seven feet when he heard Sylvia's voice. He was completely preoccupied. But he decided it would be wise to get away for a while, and left with her. They got in Sylvia's lemon yellow Geo and pulled out of the parking lot just as a police car pulled in. Henry looked nervous, Sylvia just looked angry. She was positive Henry was innocent, and those asshole detectives were looking to pin this on him. It was the easy way out for them. She made a call on her cell phone, and confirmed that they'd come back for Henry. They were pissed because they'd just missed him, and they were camping in the office until he showed up again. Sylvia digested this, and came to a decision. After a lunch at her favorite Mexican restaurant, she drove back toward her house. It didn't take Henry long to realize they were going in the wrong direction. "Where are we going? I have a lot of work to do, and the sooner I can get the cops out of my hair, the sooner I can get it done." "Henry, sometimes you amaze me. They were at the office to arrest you. They think they can prove you killed that moron. They're not gonna get out of your hair. You, my friend are in deep shit." "Yeah, I know. So where are we going?" "My house. We need to get you hidden, and I do have a plan. I'll explain when we get there. And I want to call Laurie when we get there. Cell phones are not secure. I want to get both of you away from the office and away from your house." They drove in silence. Henry had no idea what Sylvia was planning, but it couldn't be legal. He appreciated her help, but he sure didn't want her arrested as well. But he had learned long ago to just shut up when she got like this. Sylvia lived in a rather large house on 6 acres just outside town. Henry had been there once, at a party, and was grateful for the seclusion. With the car in the garage, they went into the living room, where Henry waited for her to call his wife. She arranged for a car to pick Laurie up and deliver her here. The driver was skilled in losing tails. Henry wondered where she met some of the people she dealt with. It was all highly irregular. ***** Henry and Laurie sat on the sofa, facing a grim-faced Sylvia. Laurie now knew the situation, and was just as nervous as Henry. They faced a very uncertain future, possibly no future at all. "OK," Sylvia started, "This is going to be hard to explain. Henry, you know you're now a wanted man?" "Yeah, but I'm innocent. Surely they can't convict me?" "Hah! They can and they will. Look. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to set you up. I want to find out who it was. But in the meantime, we've got to hide you. Make no mistake, they'll look everywhere, including here." "Then why are we here?" "Because very soon you'll be unrecognizable. I'm going to change your appearance so drastically your own mother wouldn't recognize you!" "Then lets get started." "Well, there's something you ought to know first. I'm going to turn you into a woman for the duration of this problem. I just wanted to make sure both you and Laurie were OK with that." Henry sat there looking at Sylvia like she had told him she was from Mars. If he'd had the presence of mind to glance to his right, he'd have seen Laurie with a similar expression. "You want to turn him into a woman?" Laurie finally asked. "It'd never work. He's too big and ugly." Henry shot her a dirty look for the last comment, but inwardly agreed with her. But Sylvia just shook her head. "Yes. I mean it. Not dress him up as one, but turn him into one. You see, dears, I'm a witch." Now Laurie looked confused, and Henry just buried his head in his hands. "I'm doomed," he thought to himself. "I've placed myself in the hands of a complete lunatic." But he wisely did not voice his opinion. "I can see you're skeptical," continued Sylvia in a slight understatement. "I guess I would be too. But lets just go ahead and do it. If you decide you can't stand it we'll turn you back and think of something else. But we need to hurry, the cops could show up here any moment looking for you." After Henry nodded she had them follow her down the hall to what appeared to be the bedroom of an aging hippie. The light was dim, but they could see psychedelic posters lining the walls, a few strobe lights scattered around, and a stereo in the corner. Sylvia sat him in a rather comfortable, if somewhat worn, recliner. "Since this will be a rather mind twisting experience for you, I thought I'd have some fun and let you change over about 18 minutes to some music. Have a seat and relax." She pulled Laurie out of the room and closed the door. They'd watch the transformation via a hidden camera. As the two women closed the door, Henry heard the opening organ notes of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida coming from the speakers. The lights went out and the strobes began flashing in time to the base notes. The posters came alive in the splashes of ultraviolet light. Henry felt his skin tingling, and knew it wasn't from hearing this music. As the song progressed through the instrumental part, Henry felt his clothes get larger. He finally realized that he was shrinking. Then the drum solo kicked in, echoing in his head, and his breasts shook with the beat. Breasts? Yes, there they were, and getting larger by the second. The music was quite loud, and he almost imagined himself in a concert some 30 years ago. The flashing of the strobes almost made him feel as though the changes were occurring in bursts. And as the organ finally started into a fugue in minor chord, he felt a slow, inexorable constriction as his testicles shrank and retracted, and his penis slowly shrank. As the guitar and base came back in, penis disappeared. For the next few minutes he continued to shrink, his hair grew out, and he could feel movement within his abdomen. Less obvious changes continued as the song reacquired its rock beat. His voice changed, though he wouldn't know it for a while yet. His eyes became hazel, and his skin finally got to its final complexion. When the stereo fell silent after 17 minutes, Henry was no longer recognizable. And he was no longer a man. Laurie came flying through the door, absolutely flabbergasted. "Wow!" was all she could get out. Henry jumped to his feet and tripped within his own shoes as he tried to move, falling flat on his face. As he picked himself up, Sylvia glided into the room, holding a bundle of clothes. She commanded Henry to strip. Reluctantly, he did, and was grateful when they allowed him to put on the new clothes. Blushing, he turned his back as he slipped the panties up his legs. He had to admit, the silk felt nice on his newly soft skin. Laurie had to help him with the bra, but he managed to get a pair of hose on without ruining it. Thankfully, the rest of the clothes were not overly feminine. He was handed some navy slacks, a white silk blouse, and navy flats. He put them on in a daze, not really believing what his senses were telling him. This was impossible. He couldn't possibly have been turned into a woman. "Now do you believe me?" asked Sylvia as she led them back to the living room. She was wearing a slight smile, unnoticed by Henry. "I guess so," admitted Henry. "But why did I have to be a woman? Couldn't you have just changed my appearance?" "Yeah, but then you'd want to go back home with Laurie. And guess where they'll be looking first? It's better this way. I know it's a bit of a shock, but you'll get used to it. You'll probably even enjoy it." "Well, I guess it _is_ interesting. But I don't think I can do this. I don't know the first thing about how to act or anything." "I know. You'll stay here tonight. I'll teach you as much as I can. Laurie needs to go home and act the distraught wife. Tomorrow she'll pick you up at the airport as her sister. You can then go home." "Well, how am I supposed to earn a living? I can't very well go to work like this. Or any other way I guess. Shit. I don't like being unemployed." "You won't be. I'll give you a few days to get used to this, then I'll hire you to replace Henry. You ought to be able to pick his job right up." Sylvia smiled. "That kind of implies I'll be stuck like this for a while. I'm sure the cops'll figure out I didn't do it, and find the real killer." "Kiddo, I like your optimism. But prisons are full of people the cops decided were guilty. Sometimes they weren't. I'm gonna work on it, since they won't, but it may take a while." "But I'll get to go back to being Henry, won't I?" "Sure. As soon as they arrest someone else, you can go back." "That means that asshole Quirk has to quit looking for me, and do his job." "Yeah, that would make the annals of porcine aviation history." Chuckling, Sylvia got up and summoned her driver to take Laurie home. She reminded Laurie to pick up her sister Helen at the airport the next day at 2:30. They would fake her coming in off a flight from Seattle. Once Laurie left, Sylvia grabbed Henry and led her to her car for a trip to the mall. Helen would need a few more things to wear for the next week or two. Luckily, there weren't too many men out and about at this time of day. Henry studiously ignored the lustful glances of those few who did watch them enter the mall. They seemed to be mostly high school-aged punks, so it really wasn't much of a chore to ignore them. What was a chore was the work that went into obtaining a woman's wardrobe for Henry. Sylvia dragged him through every store in the mall that carried anything remotely feminine. Even wearing flats, his feet were complaining. Four hours and $2,432.14 later, they emerged staggering under the load of bags. Any delusions Henry had as to the quick resolution of his problem faded with the number of items of clothing Sylvia had bought for him. He had dresses and suits for work, he had pants and blouses and jeans and t-shirts for after work. He had panties and bras galore, and almost as many shoes as Imelda Marcos. He had nightgowns, and earrings, and necklaces. He had makeup, and no clue how to use it. He was completely overwhelmed. But Sylvia wasn't through yet. With a short meal break ( a salad and a bowl of soup), they spent the rest of the evening putting Henry through his paces. He learned how to walk, how to cross his legs, how to apply makeup, and even how to sit and stand. He had his mannerisms and his speaking style criticized and feminized. The lessons were short and to the point. Tomorrow afternoon he would be in public as he supposedly got off the airplane and met his wife. Any mistakes he made there would have to be minor or they would attract unwanted attention. Sylvia suspected that Quirk would be following Laurie to see if she met her husband. Helen would have to be convincing. ***** It was time. A tired Henry and a smiling Sylvia arrived at the airport in time to get into the gate area before the flight arrived, with Henry carrying a garment bag and oversized purse. Laurie, loitering in a gift shop and wearing a pager set on vibrate, felt the pager go off as Helen's 'flight' began disgorging passengers. Looking startled, she glanced at her watch and took off down the terminal, a grim- faced Quirk trailing behind. Helen and Laurie embraced, and headed back down the concourse. The passed a frantic Quirk, who received a swinging bag in his crotch. As he doubled over, a smiling Helen walked blithely onward, seeming not to have noticed the impact. Sylvia took advantage of his preoccupation to slip by him unnoticed. ******** "I can't believe you did that to that guy," complained Laurie. "It looked like you did it on purpose." This was a repetition of the argument they'd had for the 45 minute drive home from the airport. "I did. Look, calm down. That _guy_ was a cop. A Detective. A real jerk, who's trying to get me a date with the electric chair. He's obsessed with arresting me instead of looking for Gerry's killer. You already know this. Why are you defending him?" "I'm not. I just thought it was rude, that's all." "Yeah, it was. But not as rude as following you around. Look out the window. Carefully. He's out there again, just spying on you." Laurie finally broke down, and began crying on Henry's shoulder. He was somewhat used to it, as Laurie was slightly on the Mercurial side, but it felt odd with her pressing against his own newly minted breasts. He was beginning to get used to the sensation of having them, but they still got him distracted from time to time. After Laurie had cried herself out, they went to the guest room, where Sylvia had laid out all of the clothes they'd bought the day before. Laurie was flabbergasted by the shear number of items. It looked like they'd bought a mall. "Just how long do you plan on being a woman, Henry?" she asked. "You've got as many clothes as me!" "I hope not much longer. This is really weird for me, ya know. All these new parts are sending some strange sensations. And I couldn't get used to all the men staring at me. The airport was horrible. I felt like a freak. I just want to get back to normal." "Good. I'd hate to think you're enjoying this. I just want you back." **** Henry's alarm had gotten him up at the usual time, but he discovered in short order that it would not allow him the time needed for a woman to get ready and still enjoy his paper and coffee. He spent 15 minutes smearing makeup around his face before Laurie took pity and gave him some help. Ten minutes later he was brushing his hair, wondering what to do with it. He finally decided to just let it float loosely. It kept getting in his eyes, but he thought it looked sexy. He struggled into a pair of hose, then slipped on a maroon linen suit. A pair of black pumps and some silver earrings completed the ensemble. He was running 40 minutes late. Sitting down to eat a bowl of cereal, he only had time to scan the front page of the paper, where he noted that no new leads had been produced in the sensational Lopford murder. Police were still searching for the prime suspect, Henry Jenson. Slightly out of breath from over exerting his unexpectedly weak body in the rush to get to work on time, Henry pushed open the door to the personnel department. He explained to the receptionist that he was to start work today for Sylvia. As he waited for Sylvia, the whole building took on a surreal appearance. It was all very familiar to him. After all, he'd worked here for six years. But this new body made things seem strange. None of his familiar coworkers recognized him, and he couldn't tell them who he was (not that they'd believe him anyway). He was starting over. **** Henry's week had started slow. He had to pretend to learn the new job, and he kept his eyes and ears open for any hints as to who murdered Gerard Lopford. It was difficult. He was fully aware of the level of respect given by the male programming staff, which was essentially zero. Gerry was not only ignorant of anything remotely high-tech, but was a complete idiot in business matters. His only qualification for his job came from the gene pool - his uncle was the Chief Operating Officer. In spite of knowing all this, Henry was quite astounded by the opinions of all the female staff. The level of hatred knew no bounds. This was going to make Henry's job, and Sylvia's, much more difficult. The only saving grace was the acceptance of another woman into their midst. These women seemed more open to each other than Henry's male friends were, and the perpetrator would hopefully let something slip. By Wednesday, Henry was getting to know some of the women more, but was no closer to a solution. Every one of them had wanted Gerard dead, and some had some rather interesting, if less than practical, methods of killing him. They were all fantasies, of course. All but one. Henry was still amazed at the level of venom even after the guy was tossed in the ground. **** "Hey, sweetcakes, wanna go to lunch?" This inquiry came from Jason, a rather arrogant junior programmer for whom Henry had a mild dislike. Now this slight distaste bloomed into full bodied disgust. "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, Junior," replied Henry in a calm voice, "but if you call me sweetcakes, or any other obnoxiously patronizing name, ever again, or if I hear you take that tone with any other woman around here, I'll rip your balls off and stuff them down your throat." Jason backed up slowly, then turned and flew out the door. His place was taken by Denise, the project secretary. "Wow," she said. "I've always wanted to do that. I hope you don't get in trouble, though. Our old boss, Gerry, always took his side." "Well, Gerry's not here anymore. And I'm sure Sylvia will back me up." "Yeah, I heard she was gonna take his place. Maybe things'll get better around here. Well, you want to go to lunch with us?" Henry agreed, and was taken in tow by Denise and Carrie, one of Henry's fellow engineers. They had a long lunch at Nemo's, a somewhat upscale seafood place. Henry thoroughly enjoyed himself. It was the first time any group of women had treated him as an equal, instead of looking down on him as some pathetic genetic misfit. He enjoyed the gossip about his fellow engineers and their bosses. It was truly amazing what these two knew. For a while, he was able to forget that he was being hunted by the cops. He almost felt normal in this new body, forgetting that he was still arousing himself when his breasts swung and that he was tripping over himself if he wasn't thoroughly attentive when walking in heels. He almost forgot his annoyance with the way his hips swung when he did manage to walk gracefully. He enjoyed being with other humans on an emotional level. The pleasant feeling carried through the day, and even most of the way through the evening. Laurie, of course, knew who he really was, and didn't treat him as another woman. Three years of conditioning were hard for her to overcome, and she was still hoping to get him restored as soon as possible. She didn't like not having his male body around, and took her frustration out on poor Henry. Henry, of course took offense at that, and their marriage was dangerously close to ending even if Henry got his old body back quickly. This particular evening, Laurie had been even more annoying than usual, and Henry left in a huff. After driving aimlessly for two hours, he made a decision, and headed his car toward Sylvia's house. "Look, Helen," Sylvia told him after he'd explained the situation, "You've been a woman for only six days now. Surely Laurie can't be that desperate." "She is, and to be honest, so am I. I really want my old life back. It has been most interesting, but I'm not used to it, and I'm not sure I want to get used to it." "Look, you know you can't go back until we can get Quirk off your back. He's been a major pain in the ass. I've been investigating on my own, ya know. Still can't prove anything, but I'm beginning to focus on one suspect. Just hang on a bit longer." "I just don't know. Can't you change me back like over the weekend or something? I promise I won't go out anywhere." "No. They've got your place under surveillance. They'd see you. But I do have an idea. Go home. Laurie is probably frantic by now. I'll be over later to talk to her." In spite of the feeling Henry had that Laurie was less than frantic over his leaving, he couldn't convince Sylvia to let him stay in her guest room. As he left, head hanging, Sylvia picked up the phone and dialed a now familiar number. ***** Sylvia had been true to her word. Henry walked through the door only five minutes ahead of Sylvia. But it had taken only three minutes to reestablish the frosty atmosphere. Henry sat fuming in the living room as Sylvia took Laurie to the kitchen to talk. Once again Henry found himself excluded by women, even though he was one of them now. It was only a few minutes before Sylvia and Laurie came back out. Sylvia wore her typical complacent smile, but Laurie sported a wide grin. Henry felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He'd long ago learned to beware grinning women. "Sylvia just explained things to me again," said Laurie, in answer to Henry's questioning look. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch. I just wanted my partner back, and got crabby. I promise to treat you better now." "No, you two are up to something," Henry nervously replied. "And last time Sylvia was up to something I ended up with breasts - and without something else." "Oh, lighten up, Henry," ordered Sylvia. "I just finally made her realize the severity of your situation, why you had to stay female a little longer. Look, I've gotta go, its getting late. I've given Laurie some things you two can do tomorrow so you can spend some time together. Kiss and make up, and I'll see you Monday, Helen" ****** Henry opened one eye. Sunlight was streaming through the bedroom window, and Laurie was snuggled up to his back, her arm reaching over him and her hand placed firmly on his left breast. It felt odd, but quite pleasant. He was enjoying the sensuality of being held, when his other eye popped open in surprise. Double checking, he confirmed that the hand was Laurie's. If that was her, what was pressing into his ass? This was very troubling, but he didn't want to move. He was very comfortable. Then Laurie shifted slightly, and he became more certain as to the identity of this foreign object. But it couldn't be. As Henry's body stiffened from his sudden realization, Laurie awoke. She soon realized that Henry was aware of something amiss, and she grinned. "Good morning, honey," she told him. "Guess what Sylvia gave me!" As he rolled over on his back so he could sit up, Laurie threw herself on top of him. Between his reduced upper body strength and the element of surprise, Laurie threw him straight back down. She soon had her tongue down his throat, and he began to respond. Lost in passion, he soon forgot what he was now, until Laurie pulled his panties off and threw her face between his legs. She knew just the right spots to stimulate, and seemed frighteningly adept with her tongue. Later, Henry would wonder where she'd learned to do that, but at the moment was too far gone to care. Then Laurie began kissing her way up Henry's abdomen, and began sucking on his right breast. Henry had a sudden, violent orgasm. He was still lost in its throes when he felt something slide into one of his new parts. For a moment, he was horrified as he realized he was having sex with what seemed to be a man. But his body took over again, and he enthusiastically joined the rhythm. He orgasmed twice more before Laurie exploded into him. She fell asleep, her newly acquired penis still inside Henry. Henry did not fall asleep quite so fast. A churning cauldron of emotions raged inside his head. How could he have enjoyed that so much? Even if it was with Laurie, he'd had sex with a man (at least in the aspect where it mattered most). Was he gay now? Did Sylvia turn him into a queer? No, he thought. She wouldn't do anything like that. He wasn't sure if she even could. So far, every transformation he'd been witness to had been purely physical. He was sure that until this morning he hadn't been looking a men in a sexual way. So why did he enjoy that so much? He was very confused. Soon enough, he was also feeling very squished. Laurie was getting heavy, so he pushed her off, waking her in the process. That was a tactical error, as she immediately became aroused again, and they were once again in the throes of passion. Henry gave up trying to analyze his emotions, and got back into the spirit of enjoying sex. ***** Henry awoke once again, this time with a gnawing pain in his stomach. He recognized it as acute hunger. It was almost noon. He got up and took a shower, reveling in the sensuous feeling of the water flowing over his newly sensitized body. He was enjoying being a woman entirely too much for his own sanity. Feeling in a somewhat domestic mood, he went downstairs and fixed breakfast for both of them. "So, how was it?" asked Laurie after swallowing a bite of waffle. "They came out pretty good. We haven't had waffles in a long time," answered Henry. Laurie briefly wore a very puzzled expression, before realizing that Henry was just avoiding the question. "Not those. You know perfectly well what I'm talking about." "Oh, you mean the sex." Henry would maintain his innocence until the end. "I guess I really liked it," he admitted with a face red enough to pass as a fire truck. "Good. I did too. Other than that, how do you like being a woman?" "It has its advantages, I guess. But so does being a man. And that's what I'm used to being. I'm not sure I can handle this much longer." "Sure you can, honey. I've already noticed your behavior is becoming more feminine. Practice makes perfect." "That's not what I meant. I miss my strength. It's a strain to even lift a big pot of water now. I miss being able to pee standing up. I miss not having to show any emotion about every little thing. And according to Sylvia, I'll be having an actual period soon. It's been three weeks since the change. I'm not looking forward to it. It scares me, if you must know." "Yeah, I know. And I'll be here to help you through it. Now lets go do something to cheer you up." "Not again, I'm actually getting sore there." "Not that, silly. Let's go shopping!" "But what about your, ah... How are you gonna hide it?" "It's already gone. She only gave it to me for the morning. But it will be back in time for some fun tomorrow morning," she grinned. ****** Henry was starting to get the hang of getting himself dressed and made up. He was only five minutes late for work this morning. Not bad for a Monday. The first thing he found was an e-mail from Sylvia, rather cryptic, telling Henry to meet her in an office one floor up. He tinkered with some code until it was time. "Did anyone follow you?" Sylvia asked. "I didn't notice. Why would they?" "Just making sure. I think I know who framed you." "Thank God! When is Quirk gonna get here to arrest them? When am I gonna get changed back?" "Patience, child. I only have a suspect, no proof. I found some notes in Gerry's desk. He was riding someone pretty hard, I gathered he was about to fire this person. That's a pretty weak motive for murder, but it's all I've got so far. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about it. I really do want to clear your name." Seeing the look of despair in Henry's face, she continued, "Look, I know this change's been a shock. But you're doing great. I know who you are and I can hardly tell you were ever a man. And surely you've had some fun. Is it really that bad?" "No, and that's what scares me. I actually admired some guy's ass this morning. That's not me. What if I keep on doing that after I change back?" Stifling a chuckle, Sylvia replied, "Maybe you shouldn't go back. Laurie sure enjoyed herself this weekend. She wants to try out the full treatment." Henry buried his head in his hands. "Please! Just try to find out who killed Gerry." ***** Gerry's funeral had been Monday afternoon. The entire department was forced to go. Smiles were abundant as soon as they left the grave area, which was as soon as the first shovel full of dirt thudded down on Gerry's grave. The mood in the office was much lighter. Seeing the finality of Gerry's departure helped everyone return to their normal demeanor. As though some giant switch had been pulled, there was no more talk about The Death. Although Henry listened carefully, he heard not a peep for the next two days. And he had no idea about how to broach the subject without alerting the murderer. He was fitting in nicely, giggling when necessary, smiling coyly when he needed something from a male coworker, sharing the gossip, and generally becoming part of a sisterhood within the department. He knew he was taking on these feminine traits, and considered it a necessary evil in his undercover quest for justice. He was less aware that some of these traits were becoming second nature. Nor was he fully aware that his new body chemistry was producing female pheromes, and reacting appropriately to male ones. He was too busy concentrating on finding the person who framed him. Sylvia had refused to tell him who her suspect was, but he was beginning to close in on a group of four. He had no real evidence, but these four women seemed unusually devoid of scrupples, and seemed to genuinely hate men. As Henry, he'd found them cold, standoffish, and not overly bright or competent. As Helen, he found them devious, amoral, and not overly bright or competent. They blamed the men around them for all of their own failings. One of them had to be the murderer. ***** Henry was dying. He just knew it. His stomach was cramping badly, and his whole body was puffy. What insidious disease had he contracted? Nothing was making the rounds that he knew of. He would have to go see a doctor first thing in the morning. ****** Laurie was plunged headfirst into wakefulness by the piercing shriek coming from the bathroom. She ran as fast as she could, hoping Henry hadn't electrocuted himself with the hair drier or something. She found him sitting on the toilet, hyperventilating. "I'm dying!!" he whined. "What? What's wrong?" "I'm bleeding all over the place. I must have torn something yesterday when I was jogging." Laurie had to turn around to stifle her laughter. "You idiot," she mockingly said. "You're having your period. It _has_ been about a month." "Oh God, you go through this every single month? Month after month? Year after year? I can't take this." "Yes, dear. I've gone through this every month for many years. Its part of who I am. Now its part of who you are, at least for now. But if you're gonna whine like this, I sure hope Sylvia can find the murderer. This is really dragging things out." "Yeah, its kind of strange. She doesn't seem to have put much effort into it, like she said she would. I've got some suspects, but no evidence. And not much of a motive. Weird. Sylvia had more to gain than anyone but me. She got his job. I wonder... No, it wouldn't make sense." ***** "Bitch!" muttered Anna under her breath as Sylvia strode away. "Come on, Anna," replied Henry. "You did screw up. And now we have to slip the schedule, _again_." "Yeah, but she acts like it's the end of the world. Like _she's_ Miss Perfect. She's even been riding you pretty hard, Helen, and you're her pet programmer. Man, I almost miss Gerry." "I'm not her pet," stated Henry emphatically. "She's the boss. I try to give her what she wants. That's the whole point of having a boss." Henry knew the last comment was a bit lame, but Anna's comment had stung. Henry was just practical. Anna hated all authority. She'd go to her grave never figuring out why the people she caused so many problems for refused to give her raises and promotions. Anna, in other words, was a jerk. But the insult still stung. He was sure now that Anna was the murderess. He had to figure out a way to get the cops to investigate her. ***** "Oh, God!" cried Henry. "That was so great." Laurie rolled off Henry, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah," she said in her new baritone. "Now I know why you were so anxious to get back your manhood. But you do seem to be enjoying yourself anyway." "The sex is great. But I miss being a man." "And I miss being a woman. But this is better than both of us being women." "But for how long? Its been over two months. I think Sylvia's just given up." ***** Henry felt a familiar sinking sensation as he pulled into the parking lot. The low overcast reflected the red and blue strobes of the police cars in front of the building. Had they found out who he was? No, that was impossible. Even if Quirk knew, there was nothing he could do. What jury would believe such a preposterous story. No, he was safe. He nervously approached the building. As Henry was about to pull the door open, it nearly burst off its hinges on its own. Out strode two uniformed cops, followed shortly by a grim looking Malcolm Quirk. Trailing slightly was a bewildered looking Sylvia, arms handcuffed behind her. Last in the parade was another uniformed cop. Henry just stared as Sylvia was led past. Sylvia didn't appear to have even seen him. Henry rushed into the building after the parade had departed. First they'd falsely accused him, now they had Sylvia. He had to find out what had happened. He'd missed the whole show. Cursing his lifelong propensity for tardiness, he rushed into the office. "Hi, Helen!" gushed Monica, the blonde receptionist. "Isn't it exciting?" "Isn't what exciting?" "They arrested Sylvia for Gerry's murder! They found one of her earrings in his office!" Henry's heart sank. Idiots. Sylvia had taken over Gerry's office. She had every right to lose an earring there. Henry had to go find someone else to ask. Monica was a sweet girl, but seemed to be a few clowns short of a circus. And Henry was beginning to panic. If Sylvia got locked away, he was stuck. He continued on toward the cubicle farm, where he found small knots of engineers milling about aimlessly. Listening, he found out that Sylvia had been under suspicion for a while. They hadn't been able to place Henry at the scene with much certainty, so they began looking elsewhere. Sylvia's name popped up with the best motive. She got his job and ended a string of harassment complaints. The sad part was that Gerry had been about to get fired. The company was worried about several lawsuits from his tormentees. The clencher came when they found an earring in a box of files moved out of the office before Sylvia had moved in. Hindsight is 20/20. Everyone knew this had been inevitable. Several people had known all along, but didn't want to risk their life by saying anything. Only Greta and Sam admitted surprise. Figured. The only two besides Henry who ever got anything done. Henry was now wondering why he had ever wanted to work with these morons. Well, he hadn't. He'd enjoyed working with Sylvia. She was the only reason he'd stayed, before the murder. Then he'd been stuck, but still didn't want to leave. Now he was in big trouble. Sylvia was obviously guilty. He had no way to get to her, and she had no way of returning him and Laurie to their former bodies. Not that she would have. As he thought about it, he realized that Sylvia had made him disappear on purpose. They would never have prosecuted him, there was no evidence to support it. But his disappearance kept the cops looking for him instead of investigating her. Damn. He was as big a moron as most of his coworkers. At least she'd left them with useable identities. ***** "So, you in?" asked Greta. "Yes." Henry had no trouble making up her mind. She didn't need a big salary at the moment, as Laurie had already landed a nice job. She knew this startup would be a lot of work. But it was work she loved, and she liked her two new partners. Henry was not the only one who'd realized on that momentous day that they were in the wrong place. Two months later they had funding and the framework for a product. Things were looking up now. Sylvia had tried to ruin her life simply because it had been convenient to use her. But she'd come to terms with being a wife, and maybe someday even a mother. Henry was content as she drove past the courthouse on her way to her new tiny little office. As it happens, Sylvia's trial for capital murder was just getting underway. The end