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Angela by am Outside I heard the Taxi driver beep his horn, I looked through the window and acknowledged him. Then, after putting my handbag over my shoulder, making sure I had my keys, purse, tickets etc., I picked up the 2 suitcases I'd packed earlier that day. It felt like an age since I'd rung the taxi and I'd been sat round in my business suit. I walked down the steps in front of my flat and nearly slipped. The heels I'd chosen to wear weren't too high but I still managed to make a fool of myself. The taxi driver got out of his car and helped me with the cases, probably thinking I was a weak, helpless woman as he did this. Oh well, a good backhanded compliment to start the week. After getting into the back seat of the taxi I asked him to take me to the railway station, then I sat back and relaxed for the 10-minute journey. It had already been the longest Sunday and it had only really just begun. 2 hours before the taxi arrived I was stood in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom, not long out of the bath. I was dressed only in my underwear, matching black bra, panties and suspender belt with black lace top stockings. My long auburn hair was tied back as I was applying my make up. After much deliberation I had decided on a charcoal grey business suit, the skirt was of a reasonable length, just above the knee, a burgundy silk blouse and a pair of court shoes. These were laid out neatly on the bed. I'd spent a long time getting ready on that Sunday afternoon, a long relaxing bubble bath, applying and re-applying the make up. I wanted everything to look right for the long journey on the train from Leeds to London. After sorting out my hair I finally put on the suit, shoes and jewellery and checked my appearance in the mirror. I even made sure that when I sat down and crossed my legs that my stocking tops didn't show. I didn't want to look cheap, well at least not today. With me being in such close proximity to the same people for such a long time, the last thing I wanted was to be discovered. Eventually I was satisfied with how I looked and then rang for a taxi. I'd better explain, my name is Andrew but for the next week I would be better known as Angela, at least in the evenings. I'd never spent so much time in the role of Angela before and was very excited about the prospect. During the day I would be spending my time attending a course on programming that my company had decided to send me on. I have been a transvestite for 20 of my 30 years. I am secure in the knowledge that I can pass successfully dressed as a woman in public, having proved it for many years now. I also take some hormones to assist my appearance, voice etc. I'm fairly slim (size 12 if you must know) and about 5 ft 7, so I'm fortunate in that I don't stand out and draw attention to myself when I'm dressed as Angela. It's also a big advantage when it comes to shopping for clothes as I'm not limited to specialist shops and can buy a wide range of fashionable clothes from regular high street shops at reasonable prices. I take a size 8 shoe, which is, usually, the size which most regular shoes go up to. This also allows me to be able to buy from regular rather than specialist shops. In the taxi, the driver obviously hadn't realised that his passenger was a man dressed as a woman. That first encounter is always so important, it lets you know whether you can pass in public. I was eventually dropped off at the station, went onto the platform and stood waiting for the London train. There were several other people also waiting but it being a Sunday afternoon, it wasn't too crowded, mainly business people also travelling to London for the working week ahead. It must be said that most of the other passengers were men and I couldn't help but notice getting some appreciative sidelong glances as I walked towards the train. That filled me with confidence and put me in a good mood for the journey ahead. I was struggling with the 2 suitcases, 1 for each person I was to be this week ahead and a kind man helped me put the bags on the overhead rack. As I thanked him and settled into my reserved seat I wondered ruefully whether he would have helped had I been a man. The carriage started to fill and I noticed a striking blonde woman sitting facing me, 2 rows down and across the aisle. I had a table to myself. She was dressed, like me, in a business suit and skirt and looked about mid thirties. She was wearing a white cotton blouse. Her hair was tied back and she was wearing glasses. She looked quite tall, about 5 foot 8. To me she looked stunning, a very good figure. As she sat down and crossed her shapely legs I couldn't help noticing the skirt riding up a little, she was wearing very thin natural tights and quite high heeled court shoes. She must have noticed me looking at her and she smiled, I guiltily smiled back and looked away. The train pulled out of Leeds station and I tried to read my newspaper, she, I noticed, was reading a book. I found that I couldn't take my eyes off her, and several times our eyes met, again I looked away. As the train pulled out of Wakefield a man had sat opposite me across the table and tried to make small talk, I politely replied but made sure the conversation didn't go anywhere. I wasn't ready for that just yet. Anyway, he got off at Doncaster, the next station. As we pulled out of Doncaster the blonde woman came up to me and asked in a quiet voice whether I minded if she sat opposite. I smiled and said that it was fine. After 5 minutes of silence she said "I hope you don't mind me saying this but I couldn't help noticing you looking at me earlier, do we know each other from somewhere?" "No, I don't think so" She looked as though she was about to say something else, but then went quiet. She was sat directly facing me across the table and kept looking at me, accidentally her leg brushed against mine. "Sorry" she said and moved her leg, again she looked as though she was about to say something else but then went quiet, after a small pause she leaned over the table a quietly said, "I don't know how to say this but I noticed that several of the male passengers were looking at you. They obviously thought you looked very good. I'm only saying this because?" another pause "because? um, I've never seen a man look so? convincing as a woman before" "Excuse me?" I spluttered, knowing I'd been discovered for the first time ever. My heart was pounding; I'm glad I was already sitting down as my legs had gone weak. Going pale in front of her I didn't say anything else. "You are a man aren't you?" she said and then hurriedly added "Don't worry, you look very convincing. It was only small give-away signs that nobody else would notice and your secrets safe with me, my name's Maria by the way" Still shaken and not knowing what to say I went into automatic answers. "What signs?" "Hold on, can you move over, I'll sit at the side of you so we can talk without being overheard" I moved over and she sat beside me. "Well, the way you were looking at me seemed odd. I'd seen that look before but couldn't recognise it, then I placed it, it's the way a man looks at a woman he finds attractive. That wasn't proof enough on its own though. For all I know you could have been gay, a lesbian. So then I sat opposite you and noticed your hands and feet, just a bit too large for a woman and your voice was a little too deep. None of it on it's own is so far out it would have aroused suspicion and I still wasn't sure so I decided to take a gamble" she smiled at me as she said this. "I've never been discovered before" I replied. "It's obviously my biggest fear and thought about what I'd do should I ever be discovered but, now that it's happened I'm completely at a loss for words". "You could start by telling me your name" Maria said with a smile. "Angela" "Well, Angela, relax" she said, patting my knee "We've got quite a long train journey ahead of us, why don't you tell me a bit about yourself and I'll tell you about me" After getting the usual questions out of the way quickly (No, I'm not gay. No, I don't want a sex change. Most people don't know that I dress as a woman. My real name is Andrew, I'm 32 years old and separated from my wife.) I then told Maria about how transvestism had figured in my past. Dressing up since the age of 11 or 12, first of all borrowing my elder sister's clothes and how she is the only member of my family who I feel I can trust with the truth. The confusion, the secrecy, the trying and failing to stop dressing up. Followed by the eventual acceptance of who I am and how I then became much happier with myself, the all too common story of a transvestite growing up. I then told her about my marriage, which ended a couple of years ago. Maria wanted to know whether the break up was related to the cross-dressing. I told her that it wasn't, she knew about my transvestism before we were married and the marriage ended just because we grew apart. Nothing more exciting or as sad as that reason alone. Fortunately for us, no children were involved and after this time I rarely see her anymore. I told her that this time down in London is the most I will have spent in the role of Angela and was a bit of an experiment or learning experience for me. To see how I felt living and being accepted as a woman for such a long time. Maria seemed really interested in my story, it passed the time of the train journey and, after the shock of being discovered, I found that talking to someone about it was doing me some good. After realising I'd been talking about myself for much too long I asked Maria about herself. She told me that she was a sales rep for a stationary firm and was travelling down to London for 3 days to visit clients. She was single having finished with her long-term boyfriend not too long ago after finding out he was seeing someone else. It all turned very messy but has now started to settle down. The break up made her to a fresh look at her life though and she found she felt very unfulfilled, same job, same group of friends for so many years now. She is 35 years old, unmarried, no children. She volunteered for the trip when it became available because she felt she was getting stuck in a rut in Leeds all the time. She felt she needed a few days away to see somewhere different to help lift her mood. She asked why I was travelling to London so I told her I was on a course for a week and staying in a hotel, the Euston Plaza. Which, by coincidence, is the same hotel she is booked into. I guess that with the hotel being so near Euston and Kings Cross station that it's a popular choice with business people. The rest of the journey down to London seemed to pass quickly with Maria and myself chatting away like old friends. We got on very well and for all our obvious differences, had a lot in common. By the end I'd almost forgotten that she'd discovered my secret and it was almost like 2 close friends, Angela and Maria had all along planned to travel to London together. As the train started to pull into Kings Cross, Maria turned to me and said "Angela, I've an idea, Why don't we meet up this evening for a meal and a few drinks after checking in and freshening up. Unless you'd rather not, it's just that I don't know anybody down here and from what you say, neither do you" "OK" I said, "That's a good idea, I'd like that" The train stopped and we both got off, deciding to share a taxi to the hotel. After checking in we decided to meet in the hotel bar at 8 o'clock and we hugged, gave each other a friendly kiss exchanged room numbers and then I went up to my room. * * * * From my point of view this week had started off much better than I dared hope. Maria seemed a really nice person. I must admit I was very attracted to her both in looks and, as it turned out, also in personality. She seemed to really like me as well and seemed completely relaxed with who I am. After unpacking I decided that this evening would be one of the best chances to wear my new evening dress I'd bought specially for the trip. I had a shower and started to get changed. The evening dress was a long black lace dress with short sleeves, and I decided on a long black jacket to wear with it. I also chose to wear black stockings, with all black underwear. I'd also chosen a pair of high-heeled sling backs to wear. A pearl necklace and matching drop earrings completed the outfit and I sat and waited for 8pm. Eventually I left my room and wondered down to the hotel bar. It was fairly quiet, not too many people around. The lighting was fairly low and a pianist was playing in one corner of the room. Sat at the bar talking to the barman was Maria. She had also changed. She now wore a wine coloured satin dress, black tights and high-heeled shoes. She'd let her hair down and I noticed it was quite long. She turned and noticed me, smiled and waved me over. "Hi, Angie" she called over, she sounded a little bit tipsy but I thought nothing of it. I went to join her. "What can I get you two ladies to drink?" Maria looked at me and smiled. "White wine please", I said to the barman as I sat down. "Another Gin and Tonic for me please" "You look gorgeous, that's a nice dress" she said to me "I thought you might get dressed up so I thought I'd better make the effort myself. Couldn't have you showing me up now could we? Shall we go and sit at that table over there?" We sat away from the bar and near a couple that sat quietly listening to the pianist. "You look very good yourself, that dress is a nice colour" "Thanks. I got here a little early and have had a couple of drinks while I was waiting, I hope you don't mind but I've booked a table in the restaurant for 8- 30. I managed to get a quiet table in one of the corners, so we can talk freely without being overheard" "That's fine" We sat and talked for a little while, ordering more drinks and then went to the restaurant. We got taken to the table in the corner and we sat opposite each other. Maria ordered us more drinks and I was getting a bit concerned she was getting louder and drunker as the evening was going on. She leaned over to me and whispered, well, to be honest, she thought she whispered, but actually said quite clearly "It's quite exciting this, nobody but me knows the truth, that you're a man dressed as a woman" I looked around when she said this, but nobody heard. "It's like we know a secret and nobody else does" "It's not really a game for me, if I get caught it could be disastrous" "Don't worry, nobody will be able to tell" The meals arrived, as did more drinks. I must admit I was starting to get worried, she was dropping what she thought were subtle clues to all around, fortunately we hadn't been caught out yet. "This might seem an odd question" she said "but are you wearing tights or stockings?" "That a personal question. Stockings, why?" "I thought so. It proves my theory. It's just that men, not just transvestites, like you, but men seem to think that women wear stockings all the time, where as the only time I ever wear them is for a man's benefit, and that goes for most of my friends" "I happen to like stockings, but if I'm wearing a mini then I'll wear tights. For me what's important is I want to look as convincing as possible when I'm dressed up and that means not looking like a tart as you walk down the street. It's why I don't wear heels that are too high either. What about you then, what are you wearing?" "Ha, wouldn't you like to know" she said with a smile. It was then that I felt her foot rubbing against my leg. She'd taken her shoe off under the table. Fortunately this act was hidden from the other guests by the length of the tablecloth. "What do you use for breasts?" she then asked. "Silicon breast forms, they look and feel quite natural" At this she leaned over and pressed one of my breasts. She laughed and said "They do, don't they?" "Do you mind?" I said, but it was more out of embarrassment from other people seeing than her actually doing it. "I've got so many questions about you dressing up I don't know where to begin. Do you take hormones?" "Since leaving my wife I have done, yes. It helps shape out the figure, gives a better, more natural bust and softens the voice a little" "Isn't there a risk though?" "Yeah, a small risk. I'm on a fairly low dosage though" "OK then, how do you hide your, er?, your bulge?" "I tend not to wear really tight clothes so there's usually no noticeable bulge there anyway, but you can make sure it's kept out of the way. It's uncomfortable but you make do" "Have you ever been with a man?" "No, I'm totally straight." "Aren't you curious though?" "Well, I don't know, not really I suppose, it's nice to get good comments and it's a good feeling when a man looks at me and finds me attractive but I wouldn't want to take it too far" "What's too far?" "I don't really know, I've never allowed things to go in that direction. Sex with a man is definitely out of the question." She kept firing question after question at me until the meal finished. The questions getting more and more personal. The meal eventually finished and we left the table at about 10pm. I was about to say goodnight and head back to my hotel room when she suggested one final drink before retiring, so we both headed back to the bar. I said I had to go freshen up so I headed towards the toilets "Don't go in the men's by mistake!" Maria shouted from the middle of the bar. I was mortified; I couldn't believe what she'd just said. I felt everyone in the bar was looking at me. I went into the ladies and locked myself in a cubicle and sat there thinking about what I should do. She was getting much too drunk. After a few minutes spent trying to collect myself I decided that I'd have one drink and head to my room. So after checking my make up in the bathroom mirror I headed back to where Maria was sat. I saw she was sat talking to an older woman near the bar. Both women were looking at me and Maria turned to her and said "See, I told you that you wouldn't be able to tell. Angie, this is?" But by then I'd gone, I stormed off towards the lifts. I was nearly in tears. All I wanted to do was escape from there and the lift was taking ages to arrive. Walking towards me I saw Maria. "Angie, please wait" "Go away" "Angie" "Please, just leave me alone. You shouldn't have told her" The lift door opened. I stepped in, followed by Maria. I pressed 3, my floor. "Just go, you're drunk, you shouldn't have told her" I was getting more angry as I kept repeating this. Maria looked hurt, shocked, drunk. "I'm sorry, I never thought? please, look can we still be friends" "Just go to your room, please. I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone" She was crying. The lift door opened and I stepped out, she started to follow me but then decided not to. The lift door closed and I ran down the corridor, crying to my room and locked it behind me. I couldn't settle down. I was still angry, hurt, upset. I felt betrayed by someone who I thought was a friend. I wasn't ready to accept logic just yet, but I knew deep down it was just because she was drunk, very drunk, by the end of the evening. I made myself a black coffee and tried to watch some television before getting ready for bed. I was still angry and upset. I still hadn't cleaned the make up and I must have been crying myself. I had smudged makeup all around my face. The telephone rang. I answered. "Angie? It's Maria. Don't hang up. Please" "What is it Maria?" "Can we talk, I mean can we meet and talk?" "OK" "My room number is 507, do you want to come up" "I'll be up in 5 minutes" "OK, look I'm really sorry, OK, see you" She hung up. I knocked on her room door and she opened it. She, like me hadn't changed or anything. "What a pair we look" she said "Tip for both of us, waterproof mascara next time. We look like a couple of Pandas" I know she was just trying to break the ice but I wasn't ready for small talk just yet. I kept quiet. She continued "I just want to say I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to do that. I don't want to lose this friendship because I've grown really fond of you. We have a lot in common and we get along really fine. I've never got on with someone as quickly as I have with you, male or female or, in your case male AND female" "I still want us to be friends as well. I know it was just because you'd had a lot to drink. You must promise me not to do that again though. Like I said earlier it's not a game for me" "Friends then?" "Yeah, friends" We then hugged, held each other for a long while as we sat on the bed together. Eventually we separated and held each other's hands. We talked some more and eventually she leaned over and kissed me full on the lips. I responded and we kissed some more. My tongue meeting hers. We fell back on the bed together and she started running her hands over my body. She stopped and looked at me with a suggestive smile. "Stockings" she said "Excuse me?" "What I'm wearing. I told you that women only wear them for men. Wait there" She got up and went to the bathroom. After a couple of minutes she emerged from the bathroom and was wearing just her underwear, black stockings and high heeled shoes. She came over and kissed me "Your turn now" I stood up and she started to remove my dress. Her hands running up and down my body. We both stood caressing each other; both dressed in stockings and high heels. She rubbed her leg against mine and pressed herself against my erect member, straining at the skimpy lace panties. "Let me help you with that" she said and pulled my panties down. She sat down on the bed and took my penis in her mouth, her tongue running up and down the shaft. I then climbed on the bed beside her and removed her bra; I started flicking at her nipple with my tongue and played with her clitoris with my fingers. I pulled her panties down and she rubbed against my leg with her leg, Nylon on nylon. "Hold on" she said and reached into her bag, taking out a condom. Pushing me onto my back she broke the seal and rolled the condom down my length. She then climbed over me and inserted my penis; I sat up and took her breast in my mouth as she was riding me. After several minutes of this we were both heading towards an orgasm which we hit simultaneously and loudly, both collapsing on the bed next to each other. We spent the next hour or so holding each other, kissing and caressing each other. She then went down on me again and coaxed my penis back into life. Her head was between my legs and mine between hers, my tongue working hard against her clitoris. She climaxed a second time and then brought me off with her mouth. After settling down I turned to Maria and said. "Shall we meet tomorrow night?" "Yeah, and don't worry, I'll stay fairly sober then" "OK, look I'm glad we sorted this out. I don't want to lose your friendship. I know we've only known each other a short while but?" "I know Angie. I feel the same way" "Listen, I'm going to go back to my room fairly soon though" "'s OK. I understand" After a little while I got out of bed, got dressed again. Kissed Maria and left her room. It was about midnight when I got to my room, changed out of my clothes and fell into a deep sleep. * * * * I went down to the restaurant for breakfast at 8 o'clock the next morning. Dressed as Andrew for the day ahead, spent on the course. As I entered the restaurant a waiter came and sat me at a table near the entrance. I looked around the room and noticed Maria sat on her own, reading a newspaper and drinking a coffee. She had obviously just finished her breakfast and was getting ready to leave. She hadn't noticed me, or more probably, hadn't recognised me. She stood up and was walking to the exit in my direction. As she passed my table I looked at her, smiled and said "Good morning Maria" She looked puzzled for a brief second and then recognition. "Oh, sorry, didn't recognise you. Er, good morning? Ang? Andrew, look I'll see you later OK? I'm in a bit of a rush" And with that she left quickly, looking a little uncomfortable with the encounter. Something seemed to have happened then but I couldn't work out what the problem was. I finished my breakfast and caught a taxi to the training centre. The day went pretty well. The course seemed useful and challenging. It kept me occupied for the day and helped take my mind off this morning's episode with Maria. The other people on the course seemed friendly enough. As with most computing courses the vast majority of people on the course were male. Throughout the day I found out that nobody else on the course was staying at the same hotel as me, which is a relief. It saves me having to be too careful and with a drunken Maria round shouting her mouth off it's definitely a good thing. Admittedly I smiled at the thought of that. No real damage was done and the whole thing seemed to have brought us closer together. Although her mood this morning seemed odd. The course finished at 4.30 and some of us went for a quick drink before heading back to our respective hotels. At 6 o'clock my phone rang, it was Maria. I asked what the plan was for this evening and we agreed to go to go to the West End, act like a couple of tourists for the evening. She said that she would come to my room when she's ready. It was a warm evening and I got changed into a long black skirt, nylon natural tights, heeled sandals, white long sleeved blouse and a small jacket. I was ready by the time she turned up at my room at 7 She came into my room and turned to me, "Before we go out, can I explain what happened this morning. I've been thinking about it all day and think that I've sorted out why it felt strange. It felt as though I didn't know you. I feel as though I'm a friend of Angela first and foremost and that Andrew is a complete stranger to me. So when you said good morning I didn't know where to put myself." It sounded as though Maria had thought about this and planned what she was going to say I decided to let her finish and not interrupt. "I know that, after what happened last night, it sounds an odd thing to say but to me you're a woman, Angela, not Andrew. Last night shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, that sounds bad. I'm glad it did, but it felt kind of wrong. I was drunk and upset. I'd made a complete fool of myself and embarrassed you. I was desperate to hold on to the friendship and that's why I did what I did. "I didn't come down to London to look for a relationship. I'm not ready for that yet. I consider myself lucky to have found a friend in you, that in itself is more than I could have expected and THAT is what I want to retain." I took her hands "I was worried after what happened this morning and I'm glad you told me. Don't worry, I'm not offended. Let me explain my position to you now. "My company sent me down to London to attend this course. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to spend the week as Angela. I intended to spend the week as a woman and being treated as a woman. When we met on the train and agreed to meet last night I couldn't have asked for anymore than that. Spending the week as Angela and having a friend to spend the time with, who was happy to treat me as a woman. "What happened at the end of last night seemed to go against that a little bit, not that I'm complaining though. In some ways I'd be happier if you didn't meet Andrew again this week, never mentioned him again and it would just be Angela and Maria. That would be fitting in exactly with what I wanted from this week and, from what you say, fits in better with what you want. "So, what do you say to Angela and Maria, 2 friends enjoying a night out together in London?" We picked up our handbags and got the tube to Leicester Square, went for a drink in one of the bars near the station, then Maria bought a camera in a local shop and started taking pictures of us both. Accosting passers-by to take photos of us both together. We used up the entire roll of film in no time at all. Eventually we tried to get tickets for a show. We managed to get tickets for a Shakespeare play in a small theatre which turned out to be a really bad production but it didn't spoil our evening at all. The evening seemed to fly by. No embarrassing incidents to report. Maria was on her best behaviour and stayed sober all evening. We got a wolf whistle as we walked down one of the streets and then spent a couple of minutes playfully arguing as to who it was aimed. I conceded that it was probably Maria, as I was much more conservatively dressed than she was. Once back to the hotel we headed straight to our rooms. I asked her about the next night and she said she'd give me a ring. She didn't know what was happening with her clients yet. As it was to be her last night in London before heading back she said she'd make an extra effort to meet me and go out. * * * * "Angela?" "Hi, Maria, are we on for tonight?" "I've a favour to ask you, I'll understand if you say no, but I'd really appreciate it if you could help me out" "What is it?" "Two of the people I saw today, Robin and Gavin, asked me out for a drink this evening before I go back to Leeds first thing tomorrow morning. I said I couldn't as I've agreed to go out with a friend of mine who's in London. They suggested bringing you along as well." "Hold on" I said, "I'm not sure about this" "That's what I told them, they said to ring and ask you anyway. If you don't want to, I understand but if you would do this for me I would really be grateful. They're really important clients and could send a lot of business my way. It's only going to be a few drinks at a club and some dancing, nothing else. I'd make sure they know nothing is going to happen. "Listen I'd really like to see you again this evening but I can't turn these clients down" "It's asking a lot" "I promise you they won't try anything on, they're both really nice people. Think about it at least. I'll call at your room later on" "OK, I'll think about it" "Listen, if you do decide to come along, wear your business suit. I told them you did the same job as me and was also out visiting other companies in London, they'd be expecting you to be in work clothes" Later on there was a knock at the door. I answered and Maria was stood there, she came into my hotel room. I was dressed in my business suit, exactly as I was on Sunday. I still had to be convinced but thought I'd get ready to go out just in case. Maria was also dressed in her suit. She smiled as she saw me "Do that mean what I think it means?" "Possibly, I need some answers first though. I'm really concerned about this but it sounds kind of exciting. I need to know that you won't let me down. If one of them comes onto me I need you to be in a position to stop it going too far. If that means offending them and losing the sale I don't care. Is that understood?" "Yes ma'am" she jokingly replied. "I'm serious. Also I'll head back here at about 10, I could do without too late a night. I don't mind if you stay on at the club though" "OK, the club is local anyway" "I'll do it." "Let's go then. I said I'd meet them at the hotel bar" I couldn't believe I was going through with this. My heart was pounding as I stood waiting for the lift. I turned to Maria and said, "I'm not sure I can go through with this" "Relax, you'll do fine. You look great and they'll fall for your personality as well. No worries" The lift pinged and the door opened. Out stepped the woman Maria told my secret to on Sunday night. Oh no, bad omen I thought. All 3 of us stared at each other waiting for someone else to speak. After a pause that seemed like a lifetime she looked at both of us and smiled. "I'm glad you sorted your differences out," she said to us and then to me specifically. "She's right you know, I couldn't tell, still can't. Have a good evening, both of you girls" Maria and I stepped into the lift, the door closed. We looked at each other dumbfounded. Then we started laughing. It took away my fears momentarily. The lift door opened and we walked out into the lobby. Passed reception and into the bar. Stood at the bar were 2 tall men, both over 6 foot and both wearing suits. I followed Maria's lead and went towards the 2 men. "Hi" she said to them "This is my friend Angela. Angela, this is Robin and this is Gavin" I noticed that Maria sounded nervous as well when she spoke. "Hi, Angela" said Gavin "What can I get you 2 ladies to drink?" "White wine" I said "and a Gin and Tonic for Maria" We got the drinks and went to sit at a table. Gavin was sat opposite me and I couldn't help notice that he kept looking at my legs. Robin started to talk to Maria. "Maria tells me you're also a sales rep" "Yes, I've been visiting a couple of clients today. It's been fairly quiet though. Not too stressful", I was hoping the conversation wouldn't stay on the subject of work. I was quite adept at having a cover story for my female persona but adding a make believe job on top might prove difficult. "How do you like London?" "It's been a good week so far, we went to see a show yesterday and did the tourist thing, do you live in London?" "Yes, Camden." Maria turned to me and said "Is everything OK?" "Yes" I said, "Gavin's being the perfect gentleman" Robin then says "Ha, don't trust Gav., he's never that nice without a reason" "Shut up Robin", he scowled at Robin and then smiled at me. Maria turned to me and gave me a look. I smiled. "Drink up," said Robin "We'll go to the club now" As we left the hotel bar and walked towards the club I noticed that Gavin always kept at my side. Maria and Robin walked on in front. I'm glad he and Robin were both tall, I had heels on and was still shorter than him by a few inches which at least made us look right as a couple. We reached the club doors after only 10 minutes walk and went inside. The doorman took our jackets and we entered the main room. Loud dance music was playing but not many people in the club were dancing. We couldn't easily hear each other talking. Robin and Gavin went to the bar and Maria and I sat down at a table "How's it going?" Maria asked "Fine. Gavin seems very nice, Robin seems to have taken a shine to you" "Like Gavin with you. I saw him looking at your legs in the hotel. I think you've found a fan there, he hasn't said much to me all evening" "I know" I couldn't hold my excitement "It's really flattering. All that attention, he can't do enough for me" "Are you enjoying yourself then, glad you came?" "Yeah, thanks for being pushy, don't forget though. I don't want to be left dealing with some uncomfortable situations" "I know, don't worry" I must admit I did enjoy the thought of a man finding me attractive and us being a couple for the evening. Not in a gay kind of way, just as man and woman, but with me being the woman. Gavin and Robin came over with the drinks and sat down beside us. Gavin at my side again. The club was starting to fill out and the dancefloor was getting busy, the music was turned up louder and the beat started pounding. Gavin turned to me and said something. "Excuse me?" I replied He leaned over towards my ear and said "Are you enjoying yourself?" I nodded, but couldn't help but feel a tingle as he was breathing in my ear. I also noticed his arm was stretched out behind me. I quite enjoyed him doing that so I didn't draw attention to it and anyway, that was as far as he went. It felt good to be found attractive. Maria asked me if I wanted to dance and I agreed. We left Robin and Gavin and went to the dance floor when the next song started. I noticed that Gavin kept his eyes on me for the entire dance, especially my legs again. The song eventually finished and we went back to our seats. Gavin asked us if we wanted another drink and he then went to the bar. Robin leaned over to me and said "Gavin told me he finds you really attractive" "Does he now?" "Yeah and he was wondering if you felt the same way about him" I was looking towards the bar as Robin was saying this to me. I noticed that Gavin kept looking in our direction as he was waiting to be served. "Well, I'm not looking for anyone just at the moment. If I was I could do a lot worse than Gavin, he seems very nice, really easy to get along with and quite handsome. I'm heading back up to Leeds tomorrow morning, so it just wouldn't work.". The fact was dawning on me that I meant every word I said then. About Gavin and how I felt about him. It left me with a lot of serious issues to resolve, but that was for another day. Tonight was all about enjoying myself as Angela. "OK, I just thought I'd ask" said Robin. "Look Robin, I'll talk to him when he comes back" "Alright then, take it easy on him, though. He's a good friend of mine and I don't like to see him hurt" "Don't worry" Maria must have seen me frowning and mouthed the words "Are you OK?" to me. I nodded. She noticed Gavin coming back from the bar with the drinks. Maria then asked Robin for a dance and they left Gavin and me alone together. We sat silently together for a short while. "Is everything alright?" asked Gavin "Yeah" I said "Listen Gavin. Robin has just told me how you feel about me and I'm very flattered and everything?" "But?" he filled in for me. "But? I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment. I'm not long over a marriage break up with my Wi? Husband and I don't want to start another one just yet. "Believe me when I tell you that I've really enjoyed your company this evening. You're funny, kind, handsome and patient; everything I could want or ask for. The trouble is I don't want a relationship just yet. I'm heading back to Leeds tomorrow so there's no chance it would work anyway. Let's just enjoy the rest of this evening together as friends. OK? " "OK" "I'll be heading back to my hotel soon. I don't want too late a night, I've a busy day tomorrow" The song ended and Maria and Robin came back from the dance floor and everybody pretended as though nothing had happened. Maria and I headed to the bathroom together. Once in there Maria turned to me and apologised for the situation. I told her not to worry. It's been dealt with. I also told her that I'd be heading back to the hotel soon and I'd be OK heading back on my own. We left the bathroom and joined Robin and Gavin again. Gavin asked me for one dance before I left. I agreed. As soon as the song faded we headed to the dance floor. I noticed that Robin and Maria also joined us. The next song was a slow ballad and everybody else was holding his or her partners for the dance. I couldn't really avoid doing the same without standing out so I grabbed Gavin's hands put then around me and we danced together for the song. It felt incredible. I'm glad Gavin and I had the chat beforehand as it meant I could relax and not worry too much about the situation. He danced really well, one hand holding mine, his other against my lower back. Our steps in time together and to the music. Everything seemed perfect for the whole song. I don't think I'll ever be able to match that moment as Angela again. It was Gavin and Angela, a normal couple on a date, no hidden agendas and no unresolved issues. I don't think I could feel as female or as feminine as I did at that moment, for those 5 minutes while the song played and we danced together. The song and the moment ended. Gavin still had his hand at my back as he escorted me back to the table. I didn't mind, it felt good to have that security. I checked my watch, it was about 10.15. I finished my drink and told Gavin that I was ready for leaving and would be heading back to the hotel. Maria asked if I wanted her to join me. I told her I was OK. Gavin then insisted on walking me to the hotel and refused to take no for an answer. He went to the cloakroom and brought me my jacket. Gavin put his arm around me as we walked back to the hotel. As he held me close to him it felt comforting and safe. We talked about his life, his ex wife, children he rarely sees anymore. He wasn't being maudlin though. Just accepting and matter of fact about a lot of things. He asked me about my marriage breakdown. I kept the story as close to the truth as possible, I just reversed the genders. He told me that he's been single for quite a while, had a few girlfriends since then but none of them turned out to be the one he was looking for. He said he'd really enjoyed my company this evening and that it's a shame it is only for tonight. I agreed with him. We walked on towards the hotel, silent except for the sounds of our footsteps, my heels tapping on the pavement in time with his steps. His arms around me keeping me warm on a cool evening. On the steps of the hotel we stopped and he turned me towards him. "Thanks for a good evening" he said to me. "Thank you" I replied Pause. "If you're ever in London again and want a night out, then get in touch with me" "I will, Maria has your works number doesn't she?" "Yes" Another pause. "Are you going back to the club?" "No, I thought I'd get a taxi home now" "Oh" Another pause. "Well, I'd better be going" Gavin said but made no effort to move. "Gavin" "Yes" "Come here" and I reached up, held his face in my hands and kissed him fully on the lips, we then hugged for a long time, kissed once more and then separated. We then held hands. "Good night Gavin, thanks again for this evening" "Good night Angie" And then I left him, walked up the steps and entered the hotel. I turned and saw he was still there, looking at me. I waved and smiled. He smiled back and then headed towards the taxi rank in Euston Station. I walked into the hotel bar and ordered a drink to calm down. "Good evening?" someone said behind me. I turned around and saw the woman we met in the lift earlier this evening. She was about mid forties. "Yes, thank you" I replied. "You've smudged your lipstick a little, probably from Kissing that man earlier" She was smiling as she said this. "Thanks" I said and cleaned it up with a tissue" "I'm Angela by the way" "Janet, pleased to meet you. My husband is sat over there. He keeps looking at you. would he be in for a shock if he knew the truth? Don't worry though, it'll be our little secret until I get home, then I'll surprise the lecherous old goat". She was smiling as she said this to me and it was all good humoured "Good luck with your lady friend. She seems a handful when she's had a drink but her heart is in the right place." I finished my drink and headed up to my room, stripped off and went to bed. I fell to sleep pretty quickly but was woken by the phone about an hour later. "Angie, its Maria. I'm just ringing to make sure you're home OK" "Yeah I'm fine" "Did you enjoy the evening then?" "It was one of the best nights of my life. Everything was perfect. Thanks for being pushy with me earlier on" "No worries, thanks for helping me out. Gavin's really nice isn't he?" "Yeah, he's great. Maria, I've got to tell someone, we kissed, Gavin and I kissed and it felt good, more than good. I've got quite a few issues to resolve after tonight but at the moment I've no regrets. Poor Gavin though, I hope he finds someone soon." "I think he did this evening. Better luck next time for him eh?" "Yeah" "Listen Angie, I'm heading back to Leeds tomorrow morning so I probably won't see you after today. I just wanted to let you know that I've really enjoyed your company this week. I know I let you down on Sunday evening but everything worked out OK. I thought that I'd be really lonely this week, I never thought I would find a friend as good as you. "I hope you find out who you really want to be, whether it's male, female or both. Anyway I'll let you get back to sleep. Goodnight Angela" "Thanks for that Maria, it means so much too me. Goodnight and have a safe journey home" I hung up an eventually drifted off to sleep once more. * * * * I didn't see Maria the next morning. I rang her hotel room but there was no answer. She must have left early to catch the train or avoid me. Who knows? What happened with Gavin kept playing on my mind. It raised so many questions in my mind. I really enjoy being Angela as often as possible, really enjoy being female and think I could happily be part of a male-female relationship with me as the female. I'm a man though, not a woman. And as a man the time with Maria was also great. To me Maria is the best of both worlds for me. A best friend and, for one night, a great lover. It felt as though I've lost 2 really good relationships. With Gavin, because I'm a man, regardless of how convincing I look on the outside underneath I'm still a man and, to be honest that's how I feel about sex-changes as well. That it's tinkering, major tinkering, but doesn't really change the basic facts. I am a man. With Maria, well she's gone home now without a number or address there's no way to get in touch. Maybe that's how she wanted it. Her time away from the everyday. Maybe it's for the best but I can't help but feel a lot of regret there. I spent the rest of the week concentrating fully on the course to take my mind off the issues. The evenings I still spent dressed as Angela but didn't venture far beyond the hotel bar and restaurant. Wednesday and Thursday passed without too many incidents. I kept seeing Janet around the hotel, but beyond a polite greeting she kept to herself. I noticed her husband as well and smiled at the thought of him being told the truth next week. At the end of Thursday I went up to him and said "By the way, what your wife tells you about me next week, it's all true" and left him with a puzzled expression on his face. I spent the remainder of Thursday packing my cases. My time as Angela in London was over now. Friday would be spent as Andrew on the course and then heading straight to the train station for the long journey back home. I was slightly worried about checking out on Friday morning. The hotel reception staff had only ever dealt with Angela before and the person checking out was Andrew. It hadn't mattered for the breakfast as that was just the hotel Waiters and Waitresses who just looked at the Hotel room card and didn't know who was staying in which room. I decided to bluff it out with the phrase "Can I settle the bill on behalf of Angela Mills please" which, while it is odd, at least sounds plausible. No one drew attention to it when I did check out but I'm sure the penny dropped with one or two of the staff. I then got a taxi to the training course building. The journey back to Leeds was stressful, but only because the train was so crowded. Friday afternoon rush hour had begun, the train was slightly delayed and I wouldn't get into Leeds until 8 o'clock that evening. I stayed relaxed thinking that with everything I gained from this week I didn't actually mind a little stress. I, Andrew and Angela, left London a changed person. * * * * My shoulders ached from carrying the suitcases to my flat. I fumbled for the key and let myself in. Dragged the cases into the Hall landing and left them there. Gathered up the small pile of mail, flicked through them, separating the personal letters from the rest and dropped them on the kitchen table. They can wait until tomorrow. The answer machine light was flashing. I noticed there was 5 messages waiting. I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on, resigning myself to black coffee. I hit rewind and play on the answerphone Beep. "Hi Andrew. It's Jayne, hope the course went well. I let myself in and cleaned up a little for you, see you later. Oh, by the way, I put some milk in the fridge for you" Excellent, I thought, she's a good sister, and one of the few people before this week I actually trusted enough to share my secret. Beep. Silence. Phone put down. Beep. "Andy, if you're there pick up? OK, listen, It's Dave I can't make tomorrow night, er Saturday, I'll give you a ring tomorrow" Beep. Long silence. Beep. Silence, then in a quiet voice "Andrew it's Maria. I've been thinking about you a lot since coming back to Leeds. I really missed both of you. Look, if you'd give me the chance I think I'd like to get to know Andrew as I got to know Angela last week. Anyway if you want give me a call when you get back OK, the number is?" THE END