The Grass Is Greener
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The Grass Is Never Greener free porn video
The following story is sadly lacking in sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, strong
language, or even just an explicit transformation scene. It is also rather
metaphysical, philosophic, and mildly depressing in an odd sort of way. If such
things bother you then I advise you not to read it.
You have been warned...
The usual conditions apply. Free sites loopy enough to want it in their
collection may archive it as-is with my blessing - Though I would appreciate
being notified. Pay sites may not archive it or otherwise get their slimy paws
on it without my expressed permission. Anyone violating these conditions risks
bad karma and the somewhat remote possibility of finding a lawyer-type snake in
their stocking when next Santa comes to visit. Constructive criticism is welcome
and begged for, flames go to /dev/null/ - whatever in the world that is.
YMMV, No deposit/No Return, and all that...
The Grass Is Never Greener
By Myria
I sighed as I reviewed the history of my next case. Last case of the day,
thank the gods and goddesses, but it wasn't going to be a fun one. Most people
are glad to see a facilitator, only too happy to be going back. It puts them one
step closer to moving on and, let's face it, going back can be exciting. Even
the not-so-fun trips have their purpose, everyone knows that. But this case? No,
I had my doubts that this woman would be happy to see me at all.
Setting the file aside on my desk, I rose and went to the door. She was
the only one in the waiting room, no one to see her off. "Mia?" I said, "I'm
ready to see you."
She looked up, startled, and then quickly looked away. Wordlessly she
collected her things and followed me into my office. She had surprisingly
little, especially for one so old. Most people have quite a bit, things they've
collected over time that they wish to keep. A big part of my job as a
facilitator is cataloging and storing these things while they're away. In her
case there wasn't going to be very much to store at all.
One needn't have looked at her file, I thought as she followed me into my
office and sat in front of my desk, to know that she was an old soul. In this
place where beauty of all kinds is the norm, she was beyond any normal
definition. Tall, she had an amazing regality and grace about her and an unusual
economy of circular motion. Her every step, her every movement hinted at some
complex dance. She appeared to be very young, in her early twenties at most.
Surprising, as we don't revere youth in the same way as the living. On someone
else it might have seemed an affectation, perhaps a mask to hide some secret
pain, but on her it seemed perfectly natural and simply the way she was.
Her face was almost round, framed by long brick-red auburn hair that fell
in waves of large curls. Her eyes were dark green and almost sad. Her full lips
were turned down in a frown and I could almost imagine how much more beautiful
she would be if she would only smile. Her body was a symphony of full, soft
feminine curves. Enhanced, rather than hidden, by the white gauze dress she
wore. Beautiful didn't begin to describe her.
She quite literally glowed, so powerful was her aura. A soft argent light
that surrounded her and enhanced her beauty. Life's energy gained through the
experience of more lifetimes than I could yet dream of. She was the closest to
goddess-hood of anyone I'd ever known. I knew that someday I too would reach
such a state; I could only hope that when I did I would wear it half as well.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and started with the usual
speech. "Mia, you have been called to return to..."
"I know why I've been called." She said, interrupting.
"I'm sorry," I said, more than a bit flustered, "I know you understand all
this. It's just that there is a standard ceremony, it's important to a lot of
people."
"Miss..."
"Please, call me Teague." My turn to interrupt.
She nodded. "Teague, I've been through this more times than I would ever
want to count. Could we please just dispense with the formalities?"
"Okay," I replied, trying to shift mental gears. "There's a life for you."
"Is it an 'op?" She asked, for the first time looking directly at me.
I nodded slowly, knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear. "An oriental
boy. American, I believe. Other than it being an 'op it's a pretty normal life.
You'll be famous for something. Poetry?" I reached for the file and opened it,
more to buy myself a bit of time to collect myself than to look anything up. In
all the time I'd been doing this I'd never had a calling go so wrong.
She put her hand on the desk as I flipped through the file. "Don't bother,
it doesn't matter. I'm not going."
"No one..." I sputtered. "No one's ever refused a calling!"
"No one's ever refused a calling on your watch, but it has happened. Look
it up. I'm not going and you can't make me."
I sat back in my chair, stunned. Make her? I wouldn't ever try and make
anyone do anything. Besides, with all her power only a god or goddess could make
her do squat, and that isn't in their nature. I was at a loss for words; I had
no idea what to say to her.
Her resolve seemed to soften at the distress that must have been obvious
in my face. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment, and then looked away, "I just
can't. Not again."
She looked so sad, there were tears in her beautiful eyes. Crying? Here? I
wouldn't have thought that possible. I'd never seen someone so sad before, not
even in my lifetimes.
I stood and went around the desk; sitting next to her I took her hand and
tried to be comforting. "I'm sorry, Mia, I know it's been hard for you. I've
read your file."
She shook her head. "You have no idea, none at all."
"Maybe I do. I was a suicide once."
"An 'op?"
"No, just a bad start."
She nodded. "We all have those." She sighed. "I've been an 'op twenty-
seven times. Can you imagine what that's like, Teague?"
"No, I can't. I've only been alive five times."
"They always give these jobs to the young ones," she said with a sad
smile. "Nine of the times I've been an 'op I was pretty horrible, you know? But
I got through and I learned. But this? I'll never make it, I just can't do it. I
won't do it, and you can't make me."
"I don't want to make you do anything, Mia, this isn't my choice."
"I know that, and I'm sorry I'm taking it out on you. It's just... I can't
do it."
"You can do it, everyone has to."
"And what if I don't, Teague, what then?"
I shrugged. "I don't know for sure. You'll be stuck here for a while, I
know that. You won't be called again for a long time, and you know it'll be the
same. You might not be called again for a thousand years, or maybe not forever.
You could be stuck here forever, is that what you want?"
"No, of course not. I'm so close to moving on, I can feel it pulling at
me. It's just this one thing, I can't do it."
"You can, I know you can." I stood, still holding her hand. "Mia, I'm
sorry, but it's almost time. You have to go soon."
She hesitated, and for a moment I thought she really would refuse the
calling. But finally she stood and I slowly led her across the room and opened
the door. The portal was already forming, the snow-white energies of an
impending birth latticed across the doorway. "Maybe it won't be so bad this
time," I said hopefully.
She smiled wanly then kissed me softly on the cheek. "The grass is never
greener, Teague, not for me."
+++
Those words stayed with me as I put away her things, closed up the office,
and made my way over to the bar. I wished I knew what she meant, and why this
was so hard for her. But she was right, I really had no idea. There had to be a
reason for all that she had been through, but I couldn't imagine what it might
be.
Prelay was sitting alone at a table by the window, as was usual, and I
made my way over and sat down. I really needed someone to talk to and he was
always a good listener.
"Hard day at the office, Teague?" He asked as I ordered a beer.
"Very. My last case was a real bear."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Old soul in for an 'op life."
"You're kidding? Here? I didn't know there were any old souls still here,
I thought they'd all moved on."
I shrugged. "There's still a few around."
The waiter returned with my drink. Prelay raised an eyebrow as I drained
the beer in three long gulps and ordered another before the waiter got away.
"That bad?" He asked a bit reproachfully.
I nodded. "She refused her calling at first."
"But she did accept it?"
"Yeah, eventually. A few more seconds and it would have been too late."
"What was the problem, major neg-'op? Was she supposed to be the next Jane
The Ripper or something?"
I didn't get the reference, but it didn't matter and asking would only set
him off on another boring history lesson followed inevitably by a lecture on the
meaning of opposite lives. "No, just a simple gender 'op."
"That's not so bad, I've been a woman twice now."
"Really?" I keep forgetting how much older Prelay is than I. "How was it?"
"Not great, not horrible. Those lives aren't my favorite memories, but I
learned a lot. That is the point of all of this you know."
"I know, but I'm not sure it's the same for her."
"Why do you say that?
"She's been a gender 'op eighteen times now, this will be the nineteenth.
Seventeen of those have suicided."
"You're kidding? Seventeen times? In a row?"
I nodded. "She goes way back, almost five hundred lives. But no gender
'ops until recently, and they've all been early self-ends. Except the last one."
Prelay whistled, drawing a few annoyed stares from those around us. "Five
hundred? Wow! I didn't know anyone got that high. She must really be destined
for something big."
"I've never seen higher, but I've heard of a few. Not many, you're right
there. There must be a reason, you're probably right. You should feel the power
and beauty she projects, it's incredible."
"I can imagine. So what about her last 'op?"
"Huh?"
"You said she'd gender 'opped eighteen times, but only seventeen were
suicides?"
"Oh, yeah. Last one was a sex change. She lived it out fine but I guess
that invalidated the gender 'op."
"Sex change?" He made a scissors motion with his fingers. "You mean they
can do that now?"
I laughed. "You haven't been back in a while, have you?"
"Eighty-three years since my last time."
"Well you'd be surprised what they can do now."
"I guess."
The waiter returned, bringing me my second beer. I thought about downing
that one too, just to see Prelay scandalized, but I decided to be nice.
"Do you see that a lot?" He asked after a moment.
"What?"
"Problems with 'ops."
"Oh. No, not very often. A lot of people think 'ops are fun. Different,
anyway. Some people do get kind of get upset about them. Usually with the really
nasty neg-'ops, but those are pretty rare anyway."
"But it does happen?"
"With gender 'ops?" I nodded. "Yeah, I've seen a couple of minor problems
with gender 'ops and I've heard about it from other facilitators. It happens,
but it's even more rare than neg-'ops. I've never had someone try to refuse a
calling before, nothing like this."
"Any idea what causes it?"
I thought about it for a moment, a glimmer of an idea sparking in my mind.
"I think they remember."
"What do you mean?"
"Haven't you ever had a life where you remembered some of this?"
"Sure, we all remember some, what do you think religion is all about?"
"No, I mean more than that." I sighed, trying to think of some way to
explain the idea. "Okay, think of it this way... You're a very handsome man..."
"Why thank you," he interrupted with a mischievous smile.
"Stop it!" I reached over and smacked him gently on the shoulder. "I'm
serious. You're a nice looking man, but you don't have to be. You can be
anything you want here, so why do you look like that? Why aren't you a woman?
You could look like me, you could look like any woman you wanted to. Ever done
it?"
"No."
"Why not?"
He shrugged. "Because this is who I am. I'm not a woman, why would I wish
to appear as one?"
"Exactly! Souls are fundamentally male or female, there couldn't be gender
'op lives if that wasn't so. For that matter there couldn't be gods and
goddesses if that wasn't so. We represent opposite forces. You chose that when
your soul was first born. Or maybe even before, or maybe you were even created
that way. I don't know, it doesn't matter, what counts is that you are
fundamentally male."
"You haven't been around long enough, Teague, not all souls are
fundamentally gendered."
"Okay, I'll take your word for it, but how many aren't? My point still
stands. Most are. You are, I am. She obviously was, you should have seen her!
I'll bet every soul in this place is, even every soul in this city."
"Granted, but I still don't see your point. It doesn't change the fact
that we all have 'op lives of different kinds so that we can grow and have
balance."
"Yes, exactly, and balance is important. Especially in someone as powerful
as her. But what if..." I struggled to find the words as the idea finally came
into focus for me. "What if you went back on a gender 'op and could still
remember who you were?"
"Ah! I see. So you're saying that she somehow knows she's female even
though her current lifeline is male?"
"I think it happens both ways, but yes."
He thought about it for a second, the idea sinking in. "That would be
pretty horrible."
I nodded. "I think that's what she meant."
"Hmmm?"
"Nothing, just something she said before she went through the portal. I
have a feeling she'll be back to collect her things far too soon. Either that,
or she'll fix it herself again and it'll add up to the same thing."
"And then what? She just keeps doing this until the end of time? I can't
believe that, there must be a reason for this. There's always a reason."
"I think there must be, but I don't know, Prelay, I really, really don't
know."
+++
Only a few hours old, John Henry Onaka had just finished feeding from his
mother's breast for the first time. The warm milk filled his belly, nourishing
him, satisfying his one overriding need. The warmth and closeness of his mother
comforted him, made him feel safe. He should have felt happy.
"My beautiful little boy," his mother said as she gently rocked him in her
arms, "I'm so glad to see you! You're going to have such a wonderful life,
you'll grow up to be big and strong and successful and you'll marry a beautiful
woman and have children of your own and your mommy and daddy will be so proud of
you!"
His mother continued to speak, though John Henry's infant mind was not yet
sophisticated enough to understand any of the words. Her soft voice was
comforting, yet somewhere inside he knew that something was wrong.
Something, he had no idea what, was very, very wrong.
John Henry started to cry...
Fin
Nanette
- 28.01.2023
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