TURKISH DELIGHT
by Geneva
As we finally crested the last ridge over the hill, and the
panorama of the valley unfolded, my father held up his hand to
halt our little party in the muddy track. The spring afternoon
was hot and humid, and my Uncle Otto, riding beside me, gulped
down some water from a flask at his saddle, wiped his mouth with
the back of his hand, and turned to me.
"So, Franz, we finally get to your father's new lands!"
I nodded. "Yes, and that must be our new home." I pointed to a
castle on one of the mounds above the valley floor. The view was
pretty, the river winding through the valley, the gray castle
above the village, the fields on the valley floor, fresh green
with the new crop, the dark wooded hills above, then, far in the
distance, the peaks of the Transylvanian Alps. In a minute or so
the carriage carrying my mother and my sisters, Anna and Sophia,
caught up to us. My father was excitedly pointing to the castle,
and I felt pleased and proud for him. My mother was trying to
look pleased too, but I could see her heart was really not in
it. That was the trouble with the scion of an impoverished noble
family, like my father, marrying the daughter of a wealthy
merchant.
When my parents were married, about thirty years before, my
mother was seventeen and my father was almost thirty. My father,
although from one of the oldest families in Austria, was not
very well off. My mother's father, a Swiss originally, had made
a fortune in trade, and, with aspirations of nobility for his
descendants, had been glad to marry his daughter to my father.
Of course, he had also supplied her with a large dowry that
allowed us to live well, back in Vienna. Then, a year ago, the
emperor had awarded my father some lands in eastern Hungary for
his services in the army.
I knew my mother loved my father very much, but she had been
used to the excitement of Vienna, the presence of the imperial
court, the company of society women like herself, and an
exciting life of balls, operas and concerts. Now she was faced
with travelling with her family to take up our station in a
'wilderness, filled with barbarians', as she sourly described
it. Although it was now the 1770's, and Hungary had been free of
the Ottoman Turks for many years, Turkish raiders were still an
occasional threat in this isolated eastern region. I proudly
looked on these beautiful new lands as an outpost of the
expanding Austrian empire and I was confident the peasants would
welcome us.
My father was now beginning to show his age, but he had been
enthusiastic about travelling East to take possession of the
lands and live on them, 'As befits our ancient family', he had
proudly announced. I was the oldest surviving of their family.
Three of my elder siblings had died earlier in a fever epidemic
in Vienna. I was now sixteen, but I was full of the confidence
of youth that I could help him govern the lands. Fortunately,
the emperor, showing a measure of prudence, had sent along six
troopers to help us for a few months.
Otto was my mother's youngest brother. A bit of a black sheep,
Otto had acquired a reputation in Vienna for drinking, gambling
and rowdy behaviour. My father only tolerated him because my
mother was fond of Otto, but had she known more of his
activities, it might have been a different story. Despite his
faults, I liked Otto too. He was an amusing and cheerful
companion, and occasionally he had smuggled me away with him to
savour the distractions of Vienna, under the pretext of art
gallery and museum visits. It was Otto who had introduced me to
taverns and even the whorehouse in Vienna where I experienced,
just before we left on our journey, a 'going-away present', as
he had called it. In retrospect, I think Otto had really been
more concerned with his own gratification than any initiation of
mine.
I nudged my horse over to the carriage to speak to my sisters.
The younger, Sophia, was looking flushed and excited, but Anna,
the elder, my twin, looked pale and ready to faint. I commented
on it to my mother. "Anna does not look well. Is she ill?" While
my sister gave me a mildly hateful look, my mother shook her
head and gave a faint grimace, muttering something about 'time
of month'. As she waved me away, I tried to keep from grinning.
It made me glad I was a man, and not have these problems.
After a short rest we wound our way down onto the plain by the
river, and by a gypsy encampment. I noticed a girl, about my
age, staring at us insolently from one of their wagons. She was
pretty, with her tanned olive skin, dark hair and bright eyes,
but I wondered if we would have much problem with these people.
We might have to take a firm hand with all that were in our
lands, and gypsies had a bad reputation.
The road eventually led to a village, set on the plain just
below the castle. We passed by an open area covered with rough
patchy grass and with what appeared to be a burned part in the
centre. Towards one side of this area was what appeared to be a
church, the largest building in the village. We stopped by a
shabby building bearing the sign of an inn. I looked at it
skeptically, but my father painfully dismounted from the saddle
and helped my mother and sisters from their carriage. Otto and
I followed him in the creaky door.
"Yes, sirs, what can I do for you?" A bearded man of about
middle height came out to meet us, wiping his hands on his
apron. He was heavy-set, but well muscled and fit. He must have
recognized that we were not Hungarian, as he had spoken to us in
German. Perhaps he had noticed our style of clothing, or heard
us talking.
My father drew himself up. "I am Count Carl von Steiffen. By the
grace of the Emperor, I have come to take possession of these
lands. This is my wife, Countess Thereza, my son Franz, and my
two daughters, the Lady Anna and the Lady Sophia." As befitted
my rank, I nodded curtly to him, while pleased, even smug,
expressions passed over my sisters' faces when they heard my
father use their new titles.
By contrast, a brief look of unpleasant surprise passed over the
innkeeper's face, but he bowed deeply. "Welcome to the valley
and my humble inn, my lord. My name is Stefan Rakovy." A
stoutish woman came and stood behind him. "And this is my wife
Elisabeth." My father acknowledged them with a suitably haughty
bow. "Now, Stefan, do you know what the situation is at the
castle. I mean, is there anyone living there? Also, we have had
a long journey and we will need provisions. In fact, my party
would welcome a meal as soon as you can provide it. Do you have
sufficient supplies for us and our party?" The inn keeper
inclined his head again, only a little deeper than my father
had. "Certainly my lord, I can feed you, and your party,
although with your number it will take some time. I will have to
slaughter a pig and some fowl."
He said something in Hungarian to his wife and she bustled off
to the kitchen. He stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I believe
there are now only two people at the castle, George and his wife
Elsa. They served the last count, God rest his soul. I do not
see them often. I believe the castle needs much repair." I had
been told that the last owner of the land, a minor Hungarian
noble, had been killed in a skirmish with Ottoman raiders.
The innkeeper continued. "If you wish, you or your servants can
contact me and I will arrange for supplies for you, your
attendants and for the castle. It was my honour to do this for
the previous count, but, may I ask, my lord, how you will be
arranging payment for this?" I was annoyed, to have my father's
authority and credit questioned so soon, and by a peasant like
this village innkeeper, but my father ignored the implied insult
and answered, "Ferdinand is my chamberlain." He gestured to the
exhausted Ferdinand who was mopping his perspiring brow. "He
will contact you about payment and starting an account."
Just then a smallish man came through the inn house door. By his
dark dress he was obviously the parish priest. Before he could
speak, the innkeeper spoke to him. "Father, this is the new lord
of these lands, Carl von Steiffen, come to take possession of
the castle, in the name of our beloved Emperor." There was just
a slight touch of sarcasm about his tone. Obviously these
Hungarians were not exactly enthusiastic subjects of the
Austrian empire. I began to think we might need to be careful of
the innkeeper. I got an impression of shrewdness and cunning
from him. The priest bowed deeply. "Welcome, my lord. I am
Father Michael. I have the honour to be priest of this area and
to serve its spiritual needs, and I will be at your service too,
for the spiritual well-being of you and your family."
Like the innkeeper, I did not trust him. He had smiled at us,
but his eyes had a calculating look.
It found it hot and stuffy in the inn, and I wandered outside
while my father and Ferdinand were discussing arrangements with
the innkeeper. Otto was already slaking his thirst with some
beer. The six soldiers of our escort had dismounted and were
watering their horses at the well. Ignoring some curious
villagers standing in front of the inn, I walked between them
out onto the waste ground and onto the burned patch. There were
still ashes and partially burned pieces of branches lying around
a central iron post. Idly I kicked the ashes and some small
white pieces came to light. I bent to examine them and a chill
went through me when I recognized them as human teeth. Someone
had been executed recently, by burning at the stake. I knew we
were in a primitive area, but this was barbaric.
When I burst in with my discovery my father's face went red, and
he immediately confronted the priest. Indeed it was as I had
thought. Two months previously, at the instigation of the
priest, the villagers had burned an old gypsy woman for supposed
witchcraft. I have rarely seen my father so furious. The priest
was initially indignant in defending his action. In fact he
seemed rather proud of it, but my father berated him sternly,
and forbade him to do anything further without the authority of
the empire, of which he was now the local representative. During
this, I noticed that the innkeeper standing to the back, a grin
on his face. He seemed to be enjoying the priest's discomfort.
At length the priest bowed and backed out of the door, giving me
a hostile glare as he did so.
After a subdued meal we finished the journey to the castle,
where, once they had recovered from their surprise, we were
welcomed by George and Elsa. The had kept their own quarters
fairly neat, but the rest of the castle was badly neglected and
would give us neither security nor comfort without much work. My
father sent my mother and my sisters back to the inn for lodging
that night and we made ourselves as comfortable as we could on
the stone floor of the castle's great hall.
Over the next month we were kept busy with cleaning and repairs.
Not that our party did much of the actual work, but through the
innkeeper, who was a kind of village headman, two dozen of the
local men were conscripted and set to cleaning and repairing the
castle. The cleaning and restocking of the armoury we left to
the six soldiers of our escort.
As we got established, it became obvious that we were in a
wasp's nest of conflicting forces. Our family, along with our
adherents, represented the authority of the Austrian empire. The
priest seemed to think that he should also have a say in the
local administration, but it was also obvious that many of the
parish gave the church, as represented by the priest, only lip
service. The villagers themselves, especially the innkeeper,
were restive under Austrian control. Their desire for
independence was only kept under control by the continual threat
of the Ottoman Turks, and my father would maintain effective
control of the area only with a lot of good fortune.
Our family attended the village church each Sunday for mass.
After the sophistication and style of Vienna, the village church
was mean and shabby, and the conduct of the priest in the
services was appalling. He seemed to have forgotten much of the
Latin and ritual he had ever learned, and badly mangled the
rest. I complained to my father, but he insisted we had to
attend church regularly to show our position and authority. The
priest was coldly polite to us, and took pains in his services
to emphasize his religious authority.
During this time I began to get more and more worried about my
father's health, and the effect of the competing forces on it.
I could see he was not well, and seemed to get easily tired. I
think it was only that the priest and innkeeper mutually
disliked each other, and that we had the emperor's forces with
us, that we maintained our position. Despite all this, after
three months, we had become reasonably settled. I had started
sketching in Vienna, and now I even had time to do a little
more, drawing the beautiful landscapes, the castle interiors,
some still-lives and some portraits of my friends. I found it a
challenge to get the character of Otto's penetrating blue eyes.
Eventually we thought we could relax with a feast to celebrate
my father's sixtieth birthday. We had all dressed in our best
clothes and my sisters were wearing new gowns for the occasion.
Anna especially was looking very pleased with herself in an
elegant blue silk gown, but occasionally a strained look passed
over her face. My eyes were drawn to her lovely narrow waist,
her straight posture, and the two globes of her breasts heaving
up and down in her low neckline. I laughed to myself. Obviously
my mother had laced Anna into a tight new corset. I thought it
made her a very pretty young woman, and I caught my mother
occasionally looking at her with pride. Sophie, who was only
twelve, was now also more narrow waisted, but was looking at
Anna in a way that could only be described as envy. I was glad
I was a man and not have to wear such garments.
Our celebrations were going well, when we were disturbed by the
priest and some villagers demanding an audience with my father.
He groaned in exasperation, but allowed them into a room off the
castle courtyard. Otto and I accompanied him. The villagers were
holding a young woman, who I recognized as the gypsy girl who
had looked at us so insolently as we first made our way into the
village. They were accusing her of witchcraft, of poisoning some
of the village children, and a mob of the villagers was
screaming for her execution. My father was sceptical, and I
certainly did not believe them. Children were dying all the time
in villages, even in Vienna. I only had to think of my own
family.
I watched as my father wearily questioned the girl. Her name was
Meera. She had been already badly beaten. Her clothing was torn
and one of her breasts was visible through a rent in her dress.
Her left eye was closed shut and she was bleeding from her
mouth. Painfully she was denying the charges. She seemed to be
looking at me intently, and I felt sympathy for her. It seemed
to me that she was innocent and that the priest had cynically
initiated the whole affair to test my father's authority and
enhance his own. He was continually interrupting to proclaim the
girl's guilt and my father was becoming very impatient.
Haggard with the strain of the last few months, and to give
himself some time, my father had the girl locked in one of the
castle cells. At least it gave her a respite from the wrath of
the mob and the malevolence of the priest. I felt sorry for the
girl and later that night I took down some soap and warm water
to bathe her wounds. I even brought her a clean blouse, a
blanket and a small cupful of brandy. I had noticed earlier that
she spoke German and Hungarian surprisingly well, even
Roumanian, and I asked her about her language skills. She spoke
slowly through her swollen lips."We Romany have to travel much,
and we have learned many tongues."
I kept thinking of the way the girl had looked at me, and sick
at the thought of what might happen to her, two days later I
arranged for a bottle of brandy to be found by the guard. When
he was well drunk I borrowed his keys and released her. I had no
particular affection for gypsies, but I knew she was innocent of
the ridiculous charges. She did not say much as I allowed her to
slip out through a side door, but she briefly clasped both my
hands in hers in gratitude. I went back and re-locked the cell
door, then put the keys back with the guard. I went to bed
feeling very pleased with myself.
I awoke to my mother shaking me. She was in tears. My father's
heart had given out during the night. After my initial shock and
grief, I realized that I was now the inheritor of our lands,
with all its responsibilities. Heavy at heart I rode out with
Otto to see the priest, to arrange the funeral. At that point I
was too grief-stricken to bother with further conflict with him,
and I allowed him to take charge of the funeral arrangements.
Several days later my family had to suffer through the
linguistic farce of the funeral mass before my father was buried
in the small village churchyard.
The funeral was only two weeks over when the priest had the gall
to come enquiring about the gypsy girl. By this time I was
totally tired of this mean-spirited, incompetent man, and I
announced that as I was now lord I had released her for lack of
evidence. The initial fury in his eyes was replaced too soon by
a calculating expression, and he hurried away.
Late that night Otto came to see me. He said that he had been
out in the village "getting some relaxation, of the female
kind", but had heard that the villagers were being stirred up by
the priest and innkeeper. Indeed, soon afterwards, we were
disturbed by a group of villagers shouting at the castle gate.
When I appeared, the shouting increased and I was pelted with
stones. Suddenly the hail of stones ceased and the innkeeper
advanced to the castle gate. "I am asked by the citizens, and by
our blessed priest, to give you our demands, that you submit to
the charge of aiding in witchcraft." "Witchcraft? This is
ridiculous. I have merely released a girl who was falsely
accused." The innkeeper continued. "The good father says you
conspired with the witch to have your own father murdered, so
that you could take his place. In return you released her."
"That is totally false! You surely do not believe this stupid
charge?" I asked him. "I do as Father Michael wishes," he
replied. I knew he did not really, but this would be a
convenient way to get rid of me and the emperor's authority. The
innkeeper went on. "We demand that you stand trial on these
charges. Your family may leave this land under safe conduct.
Even the emperor's soldiers may leave freely. But you must
submit to our trial." He bowed sarcastically and left as the
hail of stones started again. Trembling, I called my mother and
Otto for a conference, but my mother was terrified and almost
incoherent. I had Anna take her to her chamber and I outlined
the demands of the villagers to Otto and Ferdinand.
Otto thought for a minute, then spoke slowly, weighing his
words. "Franz, we are in a serious situation. We are better
armed than the villagers, but there are many more of them and we
will run out of food in two weeks. Unless we can get help we are
at grave risk. Also, we have no way of contacting the emperor in
time, even if someone could slip past these rebels. We can
resist them, but they will eventually win. We can die fighting
as soldiers. I am prepared to do that, if that is your wish.
Unfortunately your mother and sisters may die as well."
I was wrestling my dilemma, when a guard ushered in a cloaked
and hooded figure. "This woman came to the gate. She wishes to
see you." I was taken aback when the figure threw back the hood
and revealed herself as the gypsy girl, Meera. Her face still
bore some traces of her beating, but she was mostly recovered.
"I need to see you," she said. "Alone." "What are you doing
here? The villagers will kill you. How did you even get past
them?" She held up her hand. "These matters are of no concern at
this moment. The first thing is your survival." She looked at
Otto. "Please, I must speak to your master. Alone." I nodded to
Otto and Ferdinand. Warily they left and closed the door. The
girl looked at me.
"My lord, You have put yourself in danger because of me, now I
feel I must repay you." "But how did you get in?" I insisted. "I
was able to slip past the villagers." She spoke carefully. "They
sometimes do not have the skills to see all there is in the
dark. Now, my lord, I hear they wish to take their revenge on
you for letting me free. I hear that your retinue may go free,
but you are to remain." "Yes," I began. My voice broke. "But I
will kill myself rather than fall into their hands." "Burning is
a terrible death. My grandmother must have suffered terribly.
Yes!" she looked at me, tears in her eyes. "It was she they
burned several months ago. My lord," she hesitated, "My
grandmother was not a ... witch, but she had certain powers and
knew spells." She drew out a small book from a pocket in her
cloak and handed it carefully to me. "This is nonsense," I said.
There are no such things as spells" She shook her head in
disagreement. "I copied this from a book of spells that my
grandmother possessed. I found it in her belongings. One of the
spells may be of use to you now."
I opened it up. She had written on only one side of the pages.
The words were strange. They were in no language that I knew. "I
cannot read it. What does it say?" "These are the sounds you
make for the spells. They come from an ancient language." I
began to sound one out. She put her hand over my lips. "Care,
not now. You must first listen carefully to what I say." I was
getting annoyed and impatient, but she caught my arm, and looked
at me directly. "Please, my lord. I am sincere. Look at the
book. You see the cover?" "Yes, what of it?" It seemed like a
type of thin pale leather or hide. "Do you recognise it?" I
shook my head. "It is the skin of a man, an executed criminal."
I felt nauseous. I knew they had used the skin from executed
criminals in the past, but this was the late eighteenth century.
"Where did you get this horror?"
She shook her head. "We Romany are sometimes used as
executioners, but all you need know is that the skin is what
gives the spells much of their potency." She opened the book.
"You see I have written the words of the spells on one side of
each page. I will tell you what each does and you should write
this opposite each incantation as you wish. I do this so that
you understand them exactly. You will also notice, my lord, I
have used a Gothic writing for the spells. It is also supposed
to help their potency." Wondering, I went to my desk for a pen
and ink, and also using a Gothic script, I started to write the
effects of the spells as she explained each to me. I reflected
on the irony of this whole mess. It resulted from my dispute
with the priest over witchcraft. He had believed in it. I had
not. Now I might have to use magic to escape.
The first spells seemed to be designed mainly for appearance, to
remove warts, to remove smallpox marks, to heal cleft lips, to
cure baldness, to remove wrinkles. Then, towards the end, they
were more serious, to aid in childbirth, to reduce fever, to
cure cattle of illnesses, then, to my shock, how to make a woman
into a man, to reverse it, to make a man into a beautiful woman,
and to reverse that.
"I have given you a number of spells, my lord. You may find them
useful at some time." She pointed to the last one. "But this
spell. It may help you in your present trouble." "Why does it
need to make a man into a 'beautiful' woman?" I asked. "Why
would any man want to become a woman?" She looked at me and gave
a faintly superior smile. "My lord, you are young, and a man,
but a beautiful woman, if she knows how to use her beauty, can
acquire much power and influence. Perhaps it could be used for
spying. When men are lying in bed with women after making love,
they will sometimes let slip all kinds of confidences. Although,
if a woman does not know how to use her beauty carefully, she
herself can be at much risk." "Franz, are you all right?" I
heard asked from outside my chamber door." It was Otto checking
on me. "Yes, Otto, I will be with you in several minutes."
Her earnest manner was beginning to convince me. "We can use
this spell to disguise you as a woman, then you should be able
to escape from the castle along with your family. When you have
reached safety, you can reverse the spell. But be warned, it is
well to recover fully, and wait several days before attempting
to change back, as the changes severely weaken you." "Does the
spell have any time limit? I mean, do I have to use a reverse
spell within a certain time. Or does the spell last for only a
certain time, and then I will change back?"
"I believe the answer to each of these is 'No', but my
grandmother was killed before I had a chance to learn all that
she knew. Now, another warning. These spells affect all who hear
them, so you must only sound them out when you are completely
alone. This spell will make you insensible for over a day, as if
you had a severe fever. You recover rapidly, but you have been
changed completely into a woman, of your own age."
"Will it make me think like a girl, have the emotions of one."
I certainly did not want to cry like one. Anna and my mother
always seemed to be crying sentimentally about one thing or
another. "I do not know. My grandmother never instructed me
about that either. Anyway, you will only need to be as a woman
for a few days until you change back." "How do I know you are
telling the truth about these?" "You do not. But would I have
risked my life to get back into the castle otherwise? There is
one more thing, my lord, the woman you are changed into will be
a girl of your own age. You are, how old?" "I am sixteen."
Her hand, surprisingly soft for a peasant girl, stroked my chin.
"I see that your chin is slightly downy, but you have not yet
grown a proper man's beard, and I expect you will not have much
other body hair." She gave a slight smile. "But a girl your age
would be much further along the path to adulthood. Thus, if you
were to delay in turning back, you would start to grow the body
hair appropriate for a girl of sixteen." I flushed at her words,
but I understood them. My twin sister Anna had started to grow
breasts and get a woman's figure just after she was fourteen,
but my own voice had only broken a few months ago, and I was
beginning to have some wispy hair on my lower belly. I shrugged.
I would have to use the spell for only a few days anyway.
"Meera, how will you escape? The rebels will be surrounding the
castle. They will recognize you." "I have my grandmother's cloak
this time. It hides me well. She did not have it when they took
her. Neither did I when they captured me earlier." "Could I not
escape with you, using your cloak?" "Alas, my lord. It is only
sufficient to cover me." I was thinking desperately. She looked
at me impatiently. "Now, my lord, we are delaying too much. Do
you wish to try this, or take your chances with the mob?"
She was right. I had no alternative. When I explained the plan
to my mother, the good Christian that she was, she was horrified
at the idea of using magic. Eventually I convinced her, and I
called for Otto and Ferdinand to explain the plan to them. I
could see the doubt in their eyes, but they were willing to try
it, for me to escape.
"I will try this spell tonight. I will become insensible, go
into a fever, and after a few hours, I will have changed
completely into a girl. Then you can take me with you when you
leave the castle. I will negotiate with the rebels tonight and
say that I will give myself up when you have been gone for a
day. I should have awakened when we are on well our journey,
then after some more days I will use the reversal spell. When we
get to Vienna we can seek the emperor's help to recover our
lands and punish these rebels."
The next morning I went to the gate and shouted that I wished to
speak with the innkeeper. At length he and the priest stood
before me. "I will surrender myself to you. But I still demand
to be tried by the Emperor." "The emperor has no further
authority here," said the innkeeper quietly. "But our offer of
safe passage for your family and household is still open. For
them only," he added. I pretended to hesitate. "My family will
need some time to make ready. They will leave at noon tomorrow,
but I need to ensure their safety. Only a full day after that
will I surrender to you." "Very well," he said. "But one day
only." The rest of the day was filled with frantic activity as
we scurried about to get our supplies and the most important of
our possessions loaded on some wagons and carriages for the
journey. Then, after a cheerless evening meal, I met with the
gypsy girl, my mother and Otto.
"Mother, I will go alone into my chamber and recite the spell.
Meera says that I will soon become insensible, then the changes
will start. These should be complete by daybreak, but I will be
still insensible. So be sure to dress me as a girl to disguise
me. You can use some of a serving maid's clothes." I stroked my
chin and upper lip. "I am just beginning to develop a beard, but
I will shave it to help my disguise. My hair is too short for a
girl, but you can put a it under a head scarf. If the rebels ask
about the unconscious girl you will have to say that she is ill,
possibly with a plague. That may keep them from examining me too
closely. Meera says that she will slip out tonight and make her
own escape."
I looked at Meera. "If this succeeds, I thank you with all my
heart. Before a year is out I hope that we will be back here
with reinforcements from the emperor. Then these rebels will
suffer for their actions, and I may be able to reward you
further." I had in mind a set of new high gallows for the
ringleaders.
With a thumping heart, I entered my chamber and opened the book.
I soaped my face and shaved the wisps on my chin and upper lip,
checking carefully in the mirror. I cleaned up slowly,
apprehensive at what might follow. "Now, Mother, Otto, you must
leave me, be out of hearing while I use the spell." Tears in her
eyes, my mother embraced me. Otto looked worried. Meera left
with them, giving me an encouraging look.
I closed the door firmly and, in a trembling voice, I slowly
sounded out the words of the spell. I do not know what I was
expecting, but it seemed as if nothing had changed. I opened the
door and shrugged to my mother. Nothing seemed to be happening.
"It will start in a few minutes, " said Meera quietly. Then
imperceptibly, I began to feel cold. I began to shiver slightly,
then stronger and stronger until I was shaking, as if with a
severe fever. I was vaguely aware of my mother holding me
tightly. Then I remember nothing.
I awoke slowly, to a rocking and jolting. At first I had only an
uncomfortable sensation of movement, dimly registering through
my aching body and head. I tried to lift myself, but I fell back
with a groan. It dimly registered in my confused mind that my
voice sounded different. Almost immediately my mother was at my
side, but I could only see her hazily. I tried to speak to her,
but my mouth was dry. It felt strange. It even seemed to have
changed its shape. I only managed a croak.
"Franz, my...son." My mother stroked my hot brow. Her puffy
eyes, red from crying, were filled with concern. She held a cup
of water to my lips. I seemed to have trouble drinking and much
spilled over me. She handed me another cup and, drinking slower,
I finished that too. I felt alternatively hot and cold, my back
and thigh muscles ached and my body felt stiff. Drifting in and
out of consciousness, I hazily wondered why I was not in my bed
in the castle. Gradually, as I recovered my senses, I became
aware I was lying on a pad in the back of a moving carriage or
wagon. Then slowly I began to remember the events of the last
several days and with a shock, the plans we had made from the
Meera's book of spells, to change me into a girl. The thought
jolted me awake.
I seemed to be dressed in some unfamiliar garment. I squeezed my
eyes several times to try to focus them and looked down. I found
I was dressed in a loose linen gown, typical female night
attire. Moving my hands hesitatingly, I began to explore my body
under the nightgown, curious and afraid as to what I would find.
My proportions seemed to have changed somehow. Wondering, I felt
two soft yet firm mounds on my chest. I had grown breasts. My
mother was watching me and began to cry as I pulled the gown up
to my neck, exposing my new body. I was struck with amazement.
Immediately in my view were two jutting breasts. Below these, my
waist was now narrower, higher somehow, and flaring below to
wider hips. I swallowed as I examined my flat belly. It now
ended, not in the familiar dangling parts of my manhood, but in
a slight mound, and feeling cautiously below that, I felt folds
of sensitive skin with a fissure in the centre, the parts of a
girl. The spell had worked. I had been changed into a girl.
I felt my blushing face. I was not sure, but the skin felt
softer. I held up my hands to examine them. They were smaller,
more delicate. My veins were much less noticeable. My wrists and
arms were smoothly rounded, slimmer, much less muscled, even
fragile looking. I was awestruck. True, I had been warned what
would happen to me and I knew what the female body looked like.
I had even caressed a naked whore before in the brothel I had
visited with Otto, and I had studied statues and paintings in
the Vienna art galleries, but to be now faced with the physical
evidence of the drastic changes on my body was overwhelming. I
hoped I had not made a terrible mistake.
I tried to lift myself further, but my body still ached too
much. My mother held another drink to my lips, of diluted brandy
this time, and I must have fallen asleep again. When I next
awoke were stopped and I was alone in the back of the wagon.
I struggled to stand up. I was now aware of the unpleasant smell
of fever, and I still ached all over, but at least now I felt
more alert. Hesitatingly I eased up the nightgown again to
examine my new body. I now knew what to expect, but even so I
was astonished at the extent of the change. The proportions of
my body had changed completely to that of a girl. My broad
shoulders were much narrower. My angular muscled male torso was
now curved and softly rounded, with generous, firm, shapely
breasts tipped with pinkish brown nipples and areolas, twice as
large as they had been before.
Trying to ignore the distraction of the breasts, I saw a neat
slim waist below, curving out to wide female hips. My legs were
long and smooth with rounded thighs, knees, and calves. I
noticed that they still had some of my male hair on them. I had
not thought to shave them. My feet and toes were now small and
delicate, those of a woman. I stood up unsteadily and ran my
hands over my rear . My buttocks too, now had the contours of a
woman, full, well-shaped, prominent. I was reminded of the
graceful nude statue of a Greek or Roman goddess I had seen in
one of the Viennese public buildings, one that had caught my
adolescent male attention.
Just then my mother climbed back into the wagon. She looked in
wonder at me, then she burst into tears again. "Franz," she
began. My face flushing, I let the nightgown fall and took her
hand in mine. I noticed we were now about the same height. I
must have shrunk by about the length of a hand.
"Hush mother, " I began. I stopped abruptly. I was now speaking
differently, in a higher pitched female voice. I had not
expected this. My mother's hand went to her mouth. On the edge
of panic I forced myself to continue and to keep my voice even.
"It will be only for a few days only, then I will reverse these
changes. " I felt drained, exhausted, and I did not look forward
to the reverse spell if its effects were as bad. "Now, please
hand me a mirror. I have yet to see my face." My mother shook
her head. "I think you need to do something else first. But now
you will have to sit down, like a girl." She handed me a chamber
pot. Blushing, I sat down and relieved myself. This was
ridiculous, to have to sit down! Discreetly my mother turned her
back on me, but then handed me a cloth and pointed meaningfully
to a wash basin.
She handed me a small round mirror. "Are you really sure you
want to look at yourself?" Taking a deep breath, I took the
mirror and studied the reflected face. I gasped in awe. The
reflection was that of a pretty young woman. She had the same
colouring that I had. She even looked like me, but her features
were entirely feminine, softer somehow. Her lovely face had
flawless skin, beautiful proportions, arched eyebrows, delicate
nose and ears, full lips, and slightly prominent cheeks. Her
green eyes, with dark lashes, still sleep encrusted, were
definitely those of a girl. The only flaw was that her dark hair
was too short for a girl. It hung only to the middle of her long
elegant neck. My mother and sisters had hair that hung to their
waists when they did not put it up.
I thought the girl looked very beautiful, but I was overwhelmed
that I was now this creation. I swallowed in dismay, and saw the
smooth contours of my throat were no longer broken by the bulge
of an Adam's apple. I examined my chin and upper lip. I thought
I had shaved carefully, but I still had small traces of facial
hair. I rubbed my chin, and found some small flecks of hair in
my hand. When I rubbed my chin and lips again with a cloth, the
rest of the hair stripped off, leaving me as smooth as a girl.
It completed my disguise, but I wondered how long my sparse
beard and mustache hair would take to reappear when I had
changed back.
I forced myself to think on other things. "How did our escape
go?" I asked. My mother thought for a moment. "When you went
into the fever, your body seemed to start rippling, as if we
were viewing you under flowing water. When the ripples had
stopped, you were as you are now, but still totally insensible.
Before we left the castle we dressed you in one of Anna's
nightgowns. We had a little trouble when we left. The rebels
seemed to only want you, but they counted and searched our
carts, even the one you were in, lying insensible. The
disgusting ruffians even lifted up your gown and examined you,
but it was obvious that there was no man present. They did not
hesitate to seek you out after we left. I saw them break into
the castle as we moved away, but no one hindered us further, and
we have been on our way for a day now." "What about the gypsy
girl?" "She seemed to disappear very soon after after you had
become insensible. I wanted to reward her with some gold, but I
could not find her." I thought that Meera must have slipped
away, just as secretly as she had come to our help. I was elated
that we had escaped.
My mother offered me more water. I drank it eagerly and even
sipped at some thin soup she brought. "Now Franz," she said, in
a motherly tone, "I think you would feel better with a wash. You
smell of fever and sweat." In some minutes she brought some hot
water in a bucket with some soap and a cloth. "Lift your arms,
Franz". I did so and She pulled off my sister's nightgown and
scrubbed vigorously at my back, arms and legs to remove the
stale smell. "Let me do it," I said. I did not like this
helpless feeling. Besides, I did not like the sensation of the
breasts on my chest bouncing from her vigorous scrubbing on my
back.
She handed me the cloth. "Careful," she pointed to the nipples.
"It is more delicate there, and down there," pointing to between
my legs. She was right. These parts were very sensitive, but I
consoled myself with the thought that I would be a woman for
only a few days. I found I was very weak and I did not object
when she offered to wash my greasy hair. After she had wiped me
dry, I began to feel fresher. It was wonderful to be clean
again. My mother had been combing my hair, when she stood back
and looked at me critically. "Actually, Franz, you make a very
pretty girl, even prettier than Anna. Oh, don't worry, we won't
make you dress as one, or start behaving as one," she said, her
eyes twinkling.
I was glad to see my mother's spirits beginning to lift, after
all our misfortunes, but I certainly did not want to hear that
I was a pretty girl. The sooner I was able to use the reverse
spell the better. Blushing, I pulled the towel to me. I was now
beginning to feel slightly chilled and I felt my skin prickling.
Worse, my prominent nipples were growing hard. The sooner I got
dressed to hide this female anatomy the better, and I looked
around for some clothes. "Mother, where are my clothes?"
At that she even had a slight smile. "Your male clothes will not
fit you. Try them." She rummaged in a box and handed me my
breeches and shirt. I pulled them on quickly, but now they just
looked foolish on my new body, my breeches especially, too wide
at the waist and too tight elsewhere, barely able to contain the
female hips. The shirt hung loosely over me, except where it was
pushed out in front by my breasts. Even worse, it showed small
peaks from my prominent nipples and I quickly pulled it more
loosely at the front to hide them. Indeed, I just looked like a
woman dressed in badly fitting men's clothing, like a character
from some low theatre production.
Trying to muster some bravado, I laughed at her. "Well, I shall
only have to put up with ill-fitting clothes for a day or two,
then I will use the spell to change back when I am strong
enough, Mother. Now, where is the book with the spells, for my
reversal, I mean? You are guarding it carefully?" She nodded. "I
have it very safe, locked in a box in my own carriage. It is
just up front."
I rested in the wagon for the remainder of the day. I still felt
weak and I thought that the less the others of our party saw of
me, with my changes, the better. Most of the male hair on my
arms and legs was now also falling out, so that my limbs were
more like a girl's. Now, when I changed back, I would have to
put up with the smooth limbs and hairless chest of a girl until
my body hair grew again. All of that day I was rubbing short
hairs from my cheeks as my eyebrows lost hair and formed a
girl's slim delicate arches.
That evening Otto came into see me. His eyes widened in shock,
almost disbelief, when he saw me. "Well, Franz," he said
carefully, "you are well disguised indeed. How does it feel?" I
was uncomfortable with the way he was looking at me. His eyes
seemed to be resting everywhere on my body, but especially on my
chest. "Awkward, annoying, embarrassing. I will be glad when I
am strong enough to change back." I fastened my shirt higher up
on my neck.
He spoke slowly, twisting the ends of his mustache. "Perhaps you
should not be in too much haste. I do not trust these rebels.
They may yet try to capture you. We should put more distance
between us before we can feel safe." For an hour more we
discussed how we would present our case to the emperor to
retrieve my possessions. Obviously we would have to hide the
exact circumstances of my escape. I began to get uncomfortable
with Otto's eyes staring at my face, and roving over my body. I
felt exposed and vulnerable. Then, as he was about to leave, he
gave a mischievous grin. "I should say, Franz, that if you do
not get your castle back, you could still earn a lot of money.
There are many establishments in Vienna that would pay well for
a pretty wench like you to work in them. You remember, we
visited some of them." Furious, I threw a book at him as he
slipped out of the wagon. I started to shout at him, but it came
out as a woman's screaming, and I had to keep quiet.
As our small caravan continued on its way the next day, I spent
the time mostly with my sisters. Despite our misfortunes, their
first reaction on seeing me was a fit of giggling. I suffered
continual embarrassment. I knew my male clothes just looked
ridiculous on me. I was unbalanced in the wide female hips and
small feet and usually staggered when I walked. They laughed at
my lurching gait. "Now that you are a girl, Franz," they
laughed, "we will have to teach you to walk like one,
gracefully, not like a drunken lumbering oaf." They were even
more amused that I now had to sit on a bucket to relieve myself,
and taunted me. "Do you want us to teach you how to wipe
yourself now." They dissolved into more giggling.
Their teasing was finally starting to annoy me." Be quiet. Stop
your insolence, you silly girls. I am now the head of our
household," I threatened, "and if you do not behave, I will
marry you to some old men when we get back to Vienna." I was
only pretending. I loved my sisters, and I only wished for their
happiness. "What do you mean, girls? You are now one too." said
Anna, sticking her tongue out at me. "Maybe we should hide the
spell book from you so you cannot change back, and then we will
marry you to an old man, an ugly one too. How would you like to
lie in bed with an ugly old man, have him fondle your breasts
with his bony old hands and push his hard male part into you.
That is, if he is able to. Then you can have his babies." They
both howled with laughter.
I was speechless at their words. I had always thought my sisters
were so innocent. It seemed they knew much more than I had
thought. Then I thought of my new female body and I flushed
thinking of what they had said. I had absolutely no wish of
remaining a girl, and I tried to put out of my mind the thought
of an old man using me. The thought of being in bed with an old
man, or any man, submitting to him as a woman, my legs parted,
was too awful to contemplate. Then there was the possible
aftermath. I thought it must be terrible being a woman and
having children. I still remembered my mother's swollen figure
and then the cries I heard from her chamber when she gave birth
to Sophia. I resolved that I would use the reverse spell as soon
as I could, perhaps in two days.
Anna was not done with her teasing. She gave a mischievous
smile. "At the least, with your pretty girl's body, we should
put you into a girl's clothes. Maybe a pretty dress, with a
corset underneath to give you a nice slim waist. Oh yes! and
curl your hair and put pretty ribbons in it, rouge your cheeks
and redden your lips." I had had enough. I leaped on Anna and
started wrestling with her. She and I were now about the same
height and build but I was still weak from the fever and I found
I could not now subdue her. In a minute she had gotten the upper
hand and was sitting on me, kissing my face, squeezing these
vulnerable sensitive breasts and taunting me about my new body.
"See Franz, this is what it will be like when an old man forces
himself on you, with his slobbery kisses, and groping hands." I
tried to tickle her waist to make her stop, but she was too well
protected by the rigid bones of her corset. At last she rolled
off me and we lay panting and giggling on the wagon floor. I
caught myself with a start. What was I doing giggling? That was
only for girls. I was really a man.
I heard shouting and the wagon came to a sudden stop. In a few
moments my mother burst in. "Danger, Franz, Otto has seen some
riders in the distance coming our way. He thinks they will
overtake us in less than an hour. It may be the rebels." "I will
have to hide." I looked round. My mother shook her head. "There
is no place to hide here, and anyway, you are now a girl, indeed
you are perfectly disguised, except you are wearing male
clothing. You should get it off and hide it, and we should put
you back into female clothes."
She looked up to my sister. "Anna, get Franz some of your
clothes." Anna pointed a finger at me and gave a gleeful grin,
but in seconds she pulled out one of her gowns from a chest in
the wagon. I blushed as my mother stripped off my shirt and
breeches and pulled Anna's gown on me. She groaned. "It does not
close properly. Your waist is slim, but not enough. Quick, Anna,
get Franz one of your corsets and some undergarments."
"I can't wear a corset," I shrieked in protest, but she hushed
me. "Franz, it will be better if you are properly disguised and
anyway, it will only be for a short while." In minutes my mother
and sisters had pulled the gown back off and dressed me in my
sister's underclothing, a fine linen chemise. Next, ignoring my
protests, they pulled a silk corset around my waist. I winced as
some of the bones poked into my breasts. "Breathe in," my mother
commanded, and she ferociously pulled the laces at the back,
even hooking her finger in them and jerking them from top and
bottom to further tighten them. It was like a vise closing on
me. "Now, some petticoats," said my mother, and from my waist
down I was enclosed in masses of fabric. Anna threw her gown
back on me, fastened it and beamed. "Yes, it fits now." "I am
suffocating," I gasped. I could hardly breathe.
"Nonsense" said Anna, "You are the same size as I am, and I wear
a corset with no fuss. You are just complaining, like a man
does." She made a face at me. I thought she must have had a
short memory, when I remembered the pained look on her face at
my father's birthday feast. Silk stockings, tied above my knees
with pale blue ribbons, and a pair of slippers on my feet
completed my disguise. My mother tied my hair with some ribbons
in a female style, but covered it with a scarf anyway. "Now
Sophia", said my mother," You come to my carriage. Anna, you
stay here with Franz. Pretend you two are two girls playing a
game with each other."
Anna poked her tongue out at me. "You know what they say, Franz.
You have to suffer to be beautiful. How pretty and feminine you
look now! Why, you are even blushing prettily like a girl. " The
reason I was blushing was the feel of her underwear on my legs.
It was oddly stimulating. She smiled at me smugly. "Why don't
you sit down, daintily?" I glared at her. I knew the game I
wanted to play with her, something involving making her suffer
for the indignities, but I could hardly walk anyway, and when I
tried to sit down, the bones in the corset poked into me. I was
forced to sit very straight.
As my mother and Sophia left, I looked anxiously backwards
through an opening in the wagon's cover. I had to hold myself
very carefully from overbalancing, as I could hardly breathe or
bend in the rigid corset. My waist felt hard, as if it was
enclosed in steel, and I felt faint. Desperately I felt behind
me at the corset laces. I groaned. In her hurry, my mother had
knotted them, rather than tie them in a bow, and I was sealed
into the corset until they released me. I pulled a shawl around
my shoulders to hide my heaving bosom.
It was as Otto had said. I could see now a group of riders
heading in our direction. They would be on us in a few minutes.
Curious, I wondered where the villagers had would have obtained
the horses, as I did not think that there had been that many
horses in the village. Most of the inhabitants had used oxen for
their ploughing. I noticed Otto looking back with a puzzled
expression. He pulled out a a small telescope and studied the
riders for a minute, then galloped up to our wagon. He was
shouting. "It is not the rebels. I think it is a group of
Turkish brigands. We must flee. There is a town close by. We can
get refuge there."
At his warning shouts the drivers of our wagons and carriages
whipped their horses to a gallop, but our own wagon was heavy
and clumsy and we were soon left behind. Anna and I looked at
each other in terror and held on desperately as our wagon
pitched on the rough road. I could see the riders getting nearer
and nearer, but with relief, out of the front of the wagon, I
saw the small town in front of us. We were going to make it.
Then our wagon tipped as a wheel collapsed.
I struggled from underneath the folds of the canvas cover.
Anna's legs were caught under a bar and I lifted it to free her.
We began to run to another of our wagons. Its driver had seen
our plight and slowed for us to catch up. Anna ran easily to it,
lifting up her skirts. She must have been used to her corset,
but I could hardly breathe. My chest was in agony with the lack
of air and then my feet caught in my voluminous petticoats and
I tripped on the road. Whooping, the brigands seized me. The
last I saw of my party was the carriages and wagons hurtling
through the town gate, carrying my mother, my sisters, and my
book. I was now alone with the raiders, in a woman's body, and
in women's clothing. I saw my faithful Otto galloping to my
rescue, but one of the Turks raised his musket and fired. With
horror I saw Otto fall back in his saddle and tumble off his
mount. I fainted.
When I awoke it was to even more severe jolting. I was
disoriented, but eventually I realized I was slung, face down
across a horse, in front of a rider. My hands were tied behind
my back and there seemed to be a rope round my body fastening me
to the saddle. A bag was covering over my head. When I struggled
I felt a hard blow on my thighs. I supposed I was being told to
keep still, even though I did not understand the language. The
jolting continued for what seemed like hours. Through its pain,
and lack of air in the hood and the tightness of the corset I
must have fainted several times and I lost track of time.
When I next recovered consciousness I was lying on the ground.
The bag over my head had been removed. It was late evening, but
the flickering light from a nearby campfire allowed me to see my
captors cooking a meal over it with some pots and skewers. I
tried to move, but my arms were still tied together behind me,
and fastened to a stake in the ground.
One of the brigands noticed I was awake and came over to me. He
was bearded, and had a swarthy complexion. I did not like the
way he was looking at me, but he offered me water from a leather
flask. It tasted stale, but I was very thirsty and I drank it.
Then he held my face towards the light of the fire and felt my
breasts and thighs. With horror I realised he was assessing me
as a woman. This damned woman's body was too sensitive. I
squirmed and screamed in outrage at this invasion, and I tried
to kick him but he only laughed. He shouted something and the
others laughed as well. In a minute another man came over with
a dish and spooned some kind of cooked grain into my mouth.
Despite my ordeal, my apprehension, I was ravenous and I ate it.
Soon I became aware I desperately needed to relieve myself, but
my arms were tied and I was fastened into the women's clothing.
My distress must have shown as the first man mimed to me,
squatting down, and untied my arms. For some minutes I suffered
agonies as the numbness left my hands, and, losing patience, he
lifted my dress and pushed me down. Blushing, trying to bend
despite the corset's stiffness, holding the petticoats out of
the way, I spread my legs. I had barely wiped myself with some
grass when he dragged me back to the stake. This time he snapped
a chain on my leg and fastened it to the stake. He threw me a
rough blanket and extinguished the fire. I saw the raiders cover
themselves with their blankets and settle down except for two
guards.
The full extent of my predicament was beginning to break on me.
It was not only that I had been abducted, but I was now stuck
and even more vulnerable in women's clothing in this unfamiliar
weak girls' body. I had no chance of reversing the spell unless
I had the incantation, and it was in the book, far behind with
my mother. I knew I had to try to escape, and I desperately
tested the chain on my leg. It rattled and the guards looked at
me suspiciously. Eventually sheer exhaustion overcame my
distress and I fell into a troubled sleep.
The next day we set off again, heading Southeast to the Ottoman
territories. I had been placed sideways on the saddle in front
of one of the men, with my neck attached to the saddle by a
cord. I was still fastened in the tight corset, but at least my
upright position was not as uncomfortable as the previous day.
If I took rapid shallow breaths I could keep from fainting, but
I was uncomfortably aware that because of the style of the
corset, and my sister's low-cut gown, my chest, with the
unfamiliar breasts, was heaving up and down provocatively in the
view of the rider behind me.
It became a hot day and in an hour I was almost fainting again,
mainly from thirst and lack of air, and the jagged pain of my
corset stabbing me on my hips at each step of the horse. I
wondered how women were able to tolerate being corsetted. Only
the strong arm of the rider behind me kept me upright. His hand
was placed at the top of my corset, and occasionally he squeezed
my breasts. He seemed to find this amusing, judging by his
grinning yellow teeth. His breath was foul but I was too
exhausted to object.
Towards midday, with shouting and laughing, the brigands met up
with another group in a small clearing in a wooded area. I
almost collapsed off the horse but instead I was held and lifted
down, almost gently. They laid me down in the grass in front of
a wagon, but tied the cord on my neck to a stake. I must have
lain there an hour, only partly conscious. At last when I was
feeling more revived and I looked round, I saw three more girls,
of about my age, all tethered by their legs to stakes. They
looked at me dully. All were wearing coarse peasant dress, in
contrast to my fine gown.
I tried to speak to them, but only one, a fair haired girl,
understood my German. She had been captured also, three days
before, when this group of raiders had swept through the fields
in one of the areas populated by German settlers. She was called
Gerda. She said that the other two girls were Hungarian or
Rumanian.
One of the men brought us some water and more of the cooked
grain. At least this had some flavouring in it. As we were
eating some of their dogs came sniffing around us. I shooed them
away, but one showed its teeth and snarled at me. As I was
wiping my bowl a shadow fell over me and I looked up to see a
tall broad man, obviously the chief of the group, standing
before us. In his right hand he was holding a stick,
threateningly. He spoke sharply and untied us. The girls shrank,
but began removing their clothes. "What does he say?" I asked.
I know a little Turkish," she explained. " I think he is saying
that we must remove our clothes," said Gerda, "or he will beat
us."
In a panic I tried to do the same, but I was unfamiliar with the
fastenings on the female clothing and fumbled at it. The chief
was watching me intently and growing impatient. Then he called
to another man who grabbed my arms, while he drew a knife. I
cried in terror in the shrill unfamiliar female voice as he put
it to my throat, but then he drew it carefully down my chest and
waist, cutting the fastenings on my gown and petticoats . They
slid to the ground and I was left standing in the corset, and
shift. The chief made some comment, and the watchers laughed
uproariously. Then he put the knife to my back and I felt the
corset laces parted, and it and my other clothes fell to the
ground. I saw blood on my shift where the corset bones had been
digging into my hips. Even though I was now completely naked,
exposed to my captors' gaze, it felt wonderful to be finally
free of the corset's iron clasp.
Then my body began to hurt as it readjusted and I would have
collapsed in pain had I not been held. I remembered that in the
Viennese brothel I had watched as Otto helped one of the whores
from her tight corset. She had been in mild pain too, until her
body adjusted. My distress and gasps of pain had started the
other girls crying as well, and the chief glared at me in
irritation. After some minutes I was able to hold myself
upright. The two men, and the other brigands, were looking at us
greedily. I seemed to come in for special attention and I tried
to cover myself with my hands. The first man made a comment to
the other, who held my arms firmly while the chief casually
began squeezing my breasts and nipples.
I gasped at how sensitive they were. He carefully inspected my
belly and below, examining the small oozing wounds where the
corset bones had abraded my skin. He even fingered the sensitive
female parts, paying no attention to my frenzied squirming and
screaming. He seemed pleased with what he had found. In
humiliation and frustration I started crying again. As a man I
would have been ashamed to let my captors see my distress, but
I now no longer appeared to be able to stop. The chief ignored
my tears, but motioned to the other to release me and I fell to
the sand in shame. They threw me a peasant blouse and skirt. The
material was coarse, dirty, and ragged, but I was glad to cover
myself with it.
Gerda and the others were crying too. I was angry at the
insolence of the brigands. "What were they doing that for?" I
asked, when I had recovered enough to speak. Gerda wiped her
eyes on her sleeve. "They were assessing us. You especially.
They think you will be worth a lot of money." "I hope the ransom
is not too much." I said. "My family is noble, but not very
rich. Will your family be able to ransom you?" She looked at me
sadly. "I do not think that will happen. My parents are only
poor farmers and could pay little. We are too valuable to these
men. These Turks probably do not intend to ransom us. We will be
worth more as slaves."
I was devastated. I had not bargained for this. In a panic I
tried to explain to Gerda about my noble birth and our lands.
She looked at me, puzzled, then held me as I began crying. I
heard her muttering. "Poor thing, you are hysterical. It is
making you mad." She obviously did not believe my story, but I
knew I needed her to tell me what the Turks were saying. I would
be even more vulnerable if I did not have her support and help.
I forced myself to be calm. "I am sorry. I am not thinking.
Please forgive me. Help me." Gerda embraced me. I found her arms
comforting and she had a nice female smell. I was attracted to
her but I was so exhausted I soon fell asleep.
I woke in the middle of the night. It was a clear night and I
saw a guard at the other side of the camp. My neck was tied by
a cord to a stake. I tested the knots. They were tight, but
then, running my hands over the stony ground, I found a sharp
rock. Quietly I used it to saw at the cord. Its fibres only
parted slowly and it was a while before I was free.
Unfortunately the sky was now growing lighter. I waited for the
guard to look in another direction then I made a run for the low
bushes surrounding the clearing. I was successful at first. I
was moving quietly through the trees when I heard shouting from
the camp. I began to run, trying to ignore the cuts from the
twigs on the forest floor on my bare feet.
I now heard a crashing and shouting, then barking behind me.
They had their dogs on my trail. I ran as fast as I could, but
my gait was awkward from having to hold up the long skirt, and
my breasts were bouncing and rubbing in the coarse weave of the
peasant blouse. I saw a stream before me, and, hoping to put the
dogs off the scent, I waded in it, trying to avoid the sharp
rocks. At one point I slid on some weed and I felt a blow to my
foot. When I lifted it out of the water I saw I had cut it on a
rock. I stumbled for a bit more but I was soon exhausted and I
had to lie down on a fallen tree. My side was hurting and I was
still gasping when I spied one of the men running to me. I tried
to dodge him but he grasped me round the waist and threw me to
the ground. I felt my legs and arms tied, then I was slung over
his shoulder. One of his hands was up my skirt, squeezing my
buttocks and intimate parts. The other men laughed as I was
carried back. I was afraid I would be punished, but they all
seemed in a good mood. I think they had found the chase fun.
When they had my ankle securely chained they even untied my
hands and gave me some water to wash my feet and clean the cuts.
My nipples were tender and almost bleeding from rubbing against