A Great Relief free porn video
Dan is relieved to be back in his body. Those losers at
Fictionmania will now see the upside to being a man.
A Great Relief
By Dawna Thomson
June 2001
Jun 14 - Now that I'm back I thought it might be a good
idea to keep a journal. I'll keep it for a while at least, so I
can record how great it feels to be Dan again.
My first impression of being back? A great relief, satisfaction,
"euphoria," wouldn't be too strong of a word. I was so looking
forward to getting back. Toward the end I couldn't wait. I felt
so small and helpless. And I had to get that monthly curse one
last time just before coming back. Now I feel great. My body is
strong. No, STRONG! I love testosterone coursing through my body.
My muscles feel so powerful. I feel immense. I'm forty pounds
heavier than two days ago. I tower over everyone. I can reach up
and do chin-ups on the doorframe. Hell, I can rip the door off
its hinges!
I think I'll look up Karen again and see if we can get back
together. God! She sends shivers down my spine. I'll bet I can
get her in the sack before the week is over with.
Jun 16 - Man! Karen was great. It didn't take a week. Hell,
not even a couple of hours. I'd forgotten what a combination of a
good solid hard-on and a sex-crazed woman could do for a man.
After a year as Nikki I was certain that I'd lost my touch. But
it's like riding a bicycle, you never forget. When I was Nikki I
always felt "squishy" inside. I can't believe that when I was in
that body I actually preferred sitting in the living room staring
at the fire in the fireplace to what we did last night. It feels
so right to be driven by one single thought. I seem so much more
focused. Nothing else matters while you are doing it.
With Nikki there always seemed to be so much to think about while
having sex. Am I pleasing him? Is his touch caring enough? The
music is too loud, or not romantic enough, etc. Yeeech, Richard.
I hope I never see him again. I can't believe I ever did it with
him.
Jun 20 - Dr. White called today to ask me if I was
interested in returning to Nikki's body. She's gotten the body
back into perfect shape. She even healed the cut on her knee from
that night I knelt on the wine bottle while blowing Richard. God,
how embarrassing to even think about that now. I can't believe I
could have enjoyed that thing in my mouth or his stuff all over
my face.
Dr. White insisted that many men actually want to return to their
female body after a few weeks. I can't see how that could be
possible. I told her not only no, but HELL NO.
I should have never listened to those losers at Fictionmania.
Following that link to bodyswap.com was my undoing. I fell for
their pitch and ended up doing an incredibly stupid thing. I
can't see myself ever doing such a dumb thing again. I blew an
enormous amount of money and wasted a year of my life. For what?
To be a woman for a year? What did I learn? How to give good
head? That's useless now. How did I ever get so stupid?
July 1 - I looked up Todd and Pete today. I thought we
could kick back and have a few brews together again. It's been a
while. But I was a little bit disappointed. Todd hardly even said
hello and Pete hit me with "Where the hell have you been
asshole?" That made me feel bad. What kind of person would treat
a friend like that? Anyway I hung around for a few minutes but
they didn't want to talk to me about anything. I asked about
Marge and got a grunt from Todd. Pete just shrugged when I asked
if he was dating anyone. So I left. I mean they didn't care
enough to even ask me what I'd been up to or how I felt. They
just sat there looking at the Cubs game and swigging beers. They
actually seemed to be enjoying themselves. I'd forgotten how
boring those guys are.
Also, I almost walked into the girl's bathroom at work today.
I'll have to be more careful.
Jul 4 - I got into a big argument with Karen. We went to a
party at Adam and Sharon's house. It was the usual backyard
barbecue thing where all the men crowd around the grill, drink
beer, and talk about cars and sports. I hung out with the guys
for a while but I got a little bored. Maybe it's because I hadn't
been keeping up with baseball or basketball or any of that stuff.
I just wasn't interested. Since I've been back I've been so busy
screwing Karen that I haven't had time to catch up.
So I wandered over to the girls and found myself engrossed in a
conversation with Sharon and Wendy. Wendy is having trouble with
her new boyfriend and she needed someone to spill all her
problems to. I was just there for moral support, listening as she
dumped on Sharon and the other girls. Karen was horrified at the
faux pas I committed; I was the only guy in the kitchen with all
the girls. But I didn't DO anything! I was just listening. What
was the harm in that?
I think I made up for it though. I apologized, even though I
didn't do anything, just to make her feel better. After that
things were okay. We had sex with her on top most of the time.
That more or less mollified her too. You know. Her being on top
is kind of symbolic of being in control. Besides, I kind of liked
it.
Jul 9 - I took the day off from work. I just didn't feel
like going in today so I called in sick. I needed the break. The
guys at work seem so childish and immature. Always horsing around
and acting like they never got out of Jr. High School. All
because Sue wore a spaghetti top that showed off her boobs
yesterday. Hell, I wore the same one a couple of months ago and I
have to admit I looked a lot better than she did.
Anyway, I called Wendy just to see how she was doing. We started
talking about her boyfriend Mark. I guess she's gotten everything
all patched up now. Something she said reminded me of today's
date. If I had remained as Nikki I would have started my period
today. I don't miss that at all. The first time was bad and it
never seemed to get better. I had the cramps, a headache, and I
would feel like crying for three or four days a month. It was no
fun at all. Yes, it's much better being a man.
Jul 14 - It's been a few days since my last entry. I have
to confess that instead of writing in my diary I've been coming
home watching my soaps. I've setup the VCR to record them during
the day. Nikki was so into them and I assumed that I wouldn't be
interested once I got back. But All My Children has me hooked.
They are just silly though. I'll probably quit watching them in a
couple of weeks.
Jul 15 - I went to the mall yesterday with Karen. We walked
through Mervyn's on the way and stopped at their perfume counter.
I caught a whiff of "Passion" from the tester at the counter.
That was the same perfume that I wore all year. I always liked
that fragrance. I wondered out loud if Karen would like to have a
bottle. She said it was the kind of perfume only cheap whores
would wear. That was a pretty mean response. But I just kept cool
and said nothing. It's probably better to let her have her say
and just keep my feelings to myself. That way I won't upset her.
Karen was impressed that I managed to stick with her without
being bored. Actually, I really enjoyed shopping with her. I even
helped her pick out a cute top.
Jul 17 - I found something in the closet today. I'd
forgotten about the little plastic bag that Dr. White gave me the
day I swapped back. It had a few of my old personal items in it.
It had my earrings, my wallet, and the bra and panties that I was
wearing just before I came back. There was even my small bottle
of Passion at the very bottom.
I guess seeing those things made me feel a little guilty inside.
I have to admit I left a few things undone when I swapped back.
That breakup with Richard had been so messy, I could have done
something about that before I came back. It was probably just
knowing that I was coming back that drove me to do it.
I held her panties to my face. It's been over a month and I could
still smell my scent on them. Of course I meant to write "her
scent", mine is strong and musty now.
I confess (but only here in my diary) that I rubbed those soft
cotton panties all over my face for a few seconds. The bra looked
so small. Could I have ever been that small? It doesn't seem
possible.
Jul 18 - I woke up today on the wrong side of the bed I
guess. My face is so full of stubble and shaving is such a drag.
I guess if there was any upside to being Nikki it was that I
didn't have to scrape a blade across my face every morning. But
then there was all that other stuff with make-up and curling
irons and shaving my legs and making sure I had a pad on so I
didn't drip Richard all over my panties all day. Somehow though,
all that stuff seemed more natural than shaving. I can't bear the
thought of growing a beard though.
Jul 20 - Things have gone from bad to worse with Karen. I
think it is finally over. She is sex crazed and I just don't feel
like servicing her all the time. I feel used. Besides, I think my
body needs a rest. Or maybe I need some new stimulation. She just
doesn't turn me on like a couple of weeks ago. Maybe if she would
just slow down a little and enjoy just the two of us together. I
mean I love sex, but we don't need to be obsessed with it, do we?
She actually accused me of seeing another woman. I know what
brought that on. She said she could smell perfume in my bedroom.
She recognized it as "Passion." She remembered me mentioning it
the other day and assumed that it's because this other woman
wears it. She assumed I was screwing her too. I couldn't tell her
how I ended up with the fragrance in my room. I didn't think that
just opening the bottle up and smelling it for a few seconds
would be detectable hours later. I guess I didn't help my case
much with my limp dick. Lately I've been real tired or something
and I guess she thought that was further evidence that I was
screwing someone else. But I swear that's not the case.
Maybe it's better that we break up. I'd like a relationship that
is based on more than just sex. I'd like some mutual respect and
compatibility. As icky as it sounds, Richard was better than
Karen in that department.
Jul 21 - I took Wendy out to lunch today. She was hesitant
to accept at first. After all, she's had a stormy relationship
with Mark and I've just broken up with Karen. But it's not like
that with us and I'm glad she finally accepted. I just wanted to
talk and she was willing to listen.
On the way out of the caf? we ran into Sharon and her baby. He's
so cute and chubby. I picked him up and he seemed to like me. He
even squeezed my little finger. She is so lucky to have a little
baby like that.
The three of us went for some iced tea and just gabbed and
gabbed. I hate to admit it, but that is one thing I miss about
being Nikki, the support of caring friends. Can you believe that
I sat there and listened while Wendy told us all about her
experiences with Alfred frosting her hair? I must have really
needed some one to talk to because I sat there engrossed in the
conversation for more than an hour.
Jul 23 - Bad day at work today. Earl has really been on my
case lately. He doesn't believe my story about being on a foreign
assignment for a year. Well, it was a lie. But why should he
care? He keeps saying that I'm different than I was a year ago.
How the hell would he know anyway? I'm still Dan. I'm still the
same old guy. Why does he think I'm different? He said I've been
acting queer lately. He actually used that word!
It made me so mad I started to cry. Why do guys have to be so
mean to each other? They all call each other names like that. It
means nothing to them. I'll bet Earl has already forgotten it. I
won't though, he hurt me and that's not easy to forget.
Jul 24 - Things are getting unbearable at work. I showed up
today with a fanny pack to carry my wallet in. Big Deal. I'm sick
of my wallet pressing against my bottom every time I sit down.
You should have heard them carry on about my purse and my "fag
bag."
Jul 25 - An upbeat day. I met a new guy today and we seemed
to really hit it off well. He's a customer that I'd talked to on
the phone a few times but I met face-to-face for the first time
today. His name is Steve Farber. I need some new friends and he
seems like the kind of guy I can hit it off with. We went out
after work to an interesting uptown cafe to listen to a Jazz
combo. He also introduced me to some of his friends.
I met this girl Heidi. I think she is a lesbian but I can't say
why. She looks pretty nice and has a good figure and stunning
legs. She was dressed almost too feminine in a short leather
skirt and a silky white blouse. She has a very deep voice. Her
nails were done perfectly but she has very large hands for a
girl. I'll bet they are nearly as large as mine are. She's also
very tall; I'd say 5'10 in her stockings and well over 6' in
those wild heels of hers. I liked the way she applied her make-up
but something about it made her face seem manly. She is very
interesting, just like all of Steve's friends. She isn't what I
ever considered to be my type though. Yet in some unfathomable
way I found myself attracted to her. Maybe she isn't a lesbian
after all.
Jul 26 - I have a confession to make. I went to Target
today to look for an outfit for Sharon's baby. I wandered into
the women's lingerie section. Well, I guess I did sort of make a
detour to get there. I enjoyed walking among all those feminine
things again. I've read somewhere that it is a fairly common
fantasy for normal men to want to wear women's underwear
occasionally. It's something I got used to last year and I kind
of miss the soft fabric against my skin. I don't think of it as
unmanly.
I saw this cute pair of red nylon panties that I just had to
have. I bought them and even joked with the girl at the checkout
stand that they were for me. She started telling me about a sale
on Circo bras and panties they are having all next week. I got so
excited. That's my favorite brand. They are so comfortable. I
promised her I'd be back next week.
I have them on right now. They are so comfortable and smooth
against my skin. They feel natural. My boxers seem so boorish
compared to these. All that hair on my butt detracts from the
smooth look of the panties. And my skin is so rough. I wish it
was a little smoother. I've had to put lotion on everyday just to
try to make my skin feel normal. Lately it just seems so dry and
rough all the time. I'll have to pay more attention to my skin. I
suppose that's something that I did learn from Nikki.
Jul 28 - I was out of the office today on a business call
and ended up downtown. I drove by Dr. White's office. I wonder if
she still has Nikki's body waiting or if she's swapped in a new
client? If she did I hope he's is taking good care of her body.
At lunchtime I went across the street to Food Mart for a salad
and picked up a copy of this month's Allure at the checkout
stand. I wanted to read the article on that new low-carbohydrate
diet everyone is talking about. I guess I should have known
better than to bring it back to my desk to read it. Those idiots
started in on me again. It was just bad luck that they walked in
while I was glancing at "50 Sex Acts Guaranteed to Make Him
Yours." It wasn't like I read the whole article or that it meant
anything to me.
Aug 6 - Steve and I have been hanging out together quite a
bit. Mostly we go to some interesting place after work to eat
diner or listen to music. He's such a fascinating guy. He knows
all sorts of interesting bistro's, small cafes, and oddball bars
with Jazz or Blues bands playing. He's introduced me to theater
and even took me to a dance recital. He knows some of the guys in
the recital and he took me backstage to meet them. They are all
very artistic. I kind of liked them.
Those jerks at work would probably insist that they were all fags
just because they're dancers. You know I get sick of them and
their homophobia. I think I'm more open-minded than that. I'm
confident in my masculinity. It doesn't bother me to be around
men who might be attracted to me.
Aug 7 - This was a weird day. I wanted to thank Steve for
introducing me to all of these new experiences. I had him over
for dinner. I actually became a pretty good cook last year. I
hadn't used it much while I was together with Karen, but lately
I've been cooking a lot more. I had everything set out just
right. A linen tablecloth, fine wine, a perfect place setting. I
even went out and bought some new china for the occasion. The
fresh cut flowers I put on the table and the smooth Jazz music
provided just the right atmosphere. I served a spinach salad and
Italian linguini with a white clam and mushroom sauce. I'm
certain that Steve appreciated the meal and the effort I put into
it. We had a wonderful discussion about art and our favorite
artists, the paintings we both like, and people that's he's known
from the art world. To tell the truth, I think I enjoyed the
night with him more than any night I ever spent with Karen. At
least there is a bond of friendship that was missing between
Karen and I.
Well, here is the weird part. (I would only confess this to my
diary.) After Steve left I cleaned up the kitchen and got ready
for bed. The room was dark. I could barely see myself in the
mirror. When I stripped down to my panties I glanced up and for a
moment I thought I saw Nikki's reflection. I didn't really, but
it seemed like I did for just a second. Maybe a better way to put
it was that I momentarily expected to see Nikki's reflection. The
whole experience had a strange effect on me.
I stood for a while looking in the mirror. Maybe it was the
excitement I felt over making a perfect dinner and entertaining a
close friend. I took some of the perfume I still kept and applied
some behind my ears and inside my elbows, just like I used to.
The smell seemed to put me into a trance. Everything about the
night was so wonderful and perfect. It all seemed to merge
together into a very sensual experience for me.
I couldn't get to sleep right away. I started seeing different
scenes inside of my head. I kept seeing Richard's face and then I
started to imagine him on top of me when I was Nikki. Then all of
the sudden it was Steve on top of me as Dan! Talk about strange
huh? I mean where did that come from? What was worse was that he
was naked and aroused. I couldn't seem to get that image out of
my mind. It was really weird. I guess it must be residue left
over from last year. I'm sure it won't happen again.
Maybe I should tear out this page and flush it down the toilet. I
can't believe I even had such thoughts much less wrote them in my
diary. I doubt that Steve has ever had thoughts like that about
me. Has he?
Aug 8 - I took off work today to go visit Dr. White. It was
something I felt I had to do. I wanted to make sure that she
finds an acceptable client for Nikki. I didn't want some lummox
who wouldn't appreciate her to swap in. After all, I did spend an
entire year in her body and it's only right that I check up on
her.
Surprisingly, Dr. White had not yet offered her out. I can't
believe she is still holding onto her. She is in top-notch
physical condition. It's quite an investment to keep her and I'm
sure she could get a small fortune for a swap. But she still has
her body, just as if she was asleep, lying there zipped in that
cold plastic body bag. I caught a glimpse of her face through the
clear plastic window. She looks beautiful. I just wish that she
didn't keep her in that bag. It seems so cold and remote. She
deserves a better environment than that.
Dr. White told me that it wouldn't be long before she must make
her available again. She's been having trouble acquiring new
first generation cloned bodies. The copyright fees are so high
for bodies so young, beautiful, and full of vitality as Nikki.
She was certain that Nikki would be swapped soon but assured me
that she would carefully screen any potential clients.
She reminded me that I could still have first choice. I politely
declined. Even if I wanted to I couldn't afford it. Well,
actually I probably could, considering the large discount that
she offered. But I don't want to do that again. I think I'm just
now really getting used to being Dan again and going back to
being Nikki would be so hard. Besides I don't want that. I want
to continue to be Dan, just like I've always been.
But am I really the same old Dan? I think so, despite what all my
friends (or rather former friends) tell me. I've had some time to
reflect since coming back and I'll have to admit that I did gain
some useful experiences as Nikki. But I like being Dan.
Aug 9 - Earl was on me again today. I swear he harps about
the strangest things. This time it was the way I've been greeting
my female customers. He said it was unprofessional to hug them
and give them a little pat on the back. It's just a formality
that women expect. He never complains when Sue does it.
Can you believe he also had the audacity to tell me to offer a
firm handshake to our customers? When I asked him what he meant
he said that my wimpy handshake makes our clients uncomfortable.
Can you imagine that? I don't have a wimpy handshake. Why did he
say that?
He even complained about the way I walk. I walk normal most of
the time. Okay, so I take small steps and my hips roll a little
once in a while. One day I was trying to show Steve how Heidi
walks. Now, every once in a while, I slip back into it
unconsciously. Earl said that I'd drive away customers if I keep
acting like that. Come on. Do we even want clients that would be
so petty? Is this anything to get so upset about? Who is Earl to
tell me anything?
Aug 10 - I talked to my investment broker today. My stocks
are doing pretty good. I wasn't too sure I'd have much after
selling most of my portfolio to pay for the swap last year. If I
sold everything today I would have a modest pile of cash. Of
course it wouldn't be enough to live on for long. In fact it
would be just enough for Dr. White's discounted swap. Not that
I'm considering it. It's just odd that it works out that way
though, isn't it?
Aug 14 - Dr. White called. She wanted to let me know that
she has a serious prospect in line for Nikki. As a favor, she
said that she could introduce him to me. She could pretend I was
a colleague. That way I could meet him and assure myself that
Nikki would be going to a good client. It would only be a small
breach of etiquette, but she was willing to do it to put my mind
at ease.
Aug 15 - I did a crazy thing today. I quit my job and sold
all of my stock. I'll get a check in a few days. I just couldn't
take the harassment any more. Besides, I think Earl was going to
fire me anyway. He said that I was bad for morale and that
customers were turned off by my behavior. That's a pile of
rubbish.
I've spent some time thinking this through. I considered, just
for a moment, that Earl might be right. Maybe I have changed
some. But he's mostly full of shit. I'm still my old self. I've
just been exposed to new experiences and it has widened my
horizons. That's simply growing up isn't it?
I called Dr. White to see about the swap she is planning for
Nikki. She's offered Nikki to me again, for an even lower price.
I declined again. But I'm so fed up with work and the betrayal of
my friends that it's half crossed my mind to take her up on it.
Actually, I'm very worried about this new guy she has lined up.
She told me a few things about him and I think that he wants her
just for sheer sexual pleasure. I know. I know. That was the main
reason I wanted to swap, but I learned that swapping just for sex
is a big mistake. Nikki deserves better but I'm afraid that if I
don't act quickly he'll take her and start screwing every guy in
town. (I'd never, ever, admit this to Richard, but that's pretty
much what I did the first couple of months.)
Aug 16 - I went to see Dr. White again and offered to pay
her expenses until she finds a more suitable candidate. She is
not sure that would be ethical. I don't know what to do. I don't
want some jerk ruining her body. What if he gets her pregnant?
Would he be willing to stay in her body for eighteen years and
take care of the baby? If not, her body might have to be
destroyed. Of course his permit would be revoked, but she'd be
gone. I just can't see that.
She let me see Nikki again. She looks so beautiful. I unzipped
the bag a little way and touched her beautiful breasts. They were
so cold. Yet they were familiar. I came home feeling like a
monster. My body is so big and rough compared with her delicate
features. She is so beautiful. I held my hands up to my breasts.
They are nothing. I don't even feel any sensation when I touch
them.
Seeing her reminded me of Richard. I wonder if he would still
like to see me again? I'd sure like to try to patch things up
with him. We were really quite compatible.
Dr. White said that she has all the paperwork ready to be
submitted to the government. It will take a couple of more days
for her to obtain a copyright extension, obtain the swap registry
forms from the courthouse, provide the police the notification of
a pending swap, and complete the other legal work. She still has
not removed my DNA tags from Nikki. I'm not sure why not. She
hasn't filled in the name on any of the paperwork either. She'll
have to finalize all of it soon.
What am I going to do?
Aug 20 - I've been thinking seriously about going back to
Nikki. I know some people will say that I am obsessed with going
back. But that isn't true. I like my male body. It's just that I
feel a sense of obligation to Nikki. Any right-minded man would
take care of the woman he loves, wouldn't he? I can't stand the
thought of someone else inside her. This would be the best way to
insure that she is cared for properly. It's a sacrifice I feel I
need to make. It would be temporary, of course.
There is a problem though. The money from the stocks is barely
enough to pay for the swap. What am I going to do with Dan's
body? I'd either have to arrange a swap or pay for the cryogenic
storage. I don't know anyone who'd like to swap into his body.
It's a problem.
Aug 21 - I just read about a recent Supreme Court case
concerning swapping. Some guy in California swapped into a
woman's body and then went to the cryogenic storage facility and
pulled the plug on his old body. She was convicted of murder. She
appealed and the Supreme Court ruled that a swapped body is a
legal person as long as the original DNA markers are placed in
the new body. The other body was just property. She had the right
to dispose of it.
Nikki still has my DNA markers. I told Dr. White to go ahead to
finish filling out the paperwork in my name. She wants me at her
lab in the morning. She assured me that I can still back out of
this if I want to. I wrote a check to her for the full amount. I
have just enough cash left over for the cremation.
Aug 24 - I attended the cremation service yesterday. I wore
a simple black dress with my black pumps. I cried. I couldn't
help myself. The ceremony that Dr. White arranged was so
touching.
Everything seemed to happen so quickly. I'm not sure how this all
happened. I thought I was certain that I wanted to remain in
Dan's body. Toward the end I was feeling so confused and
helpless. I feel great now though. I'm beginning to think that
maybe I just never stopped being Nikki.
I don't know. It seems too hard to think logically about it right
now. I think I'll look up Richard and see if we can get back
together again. God! He sends shivers down my spine.
Lynne
- 04.01.2023
- 6
- 0
