My Brother, The Sister I Never Had free porn video
My Brother, The Sister I Never Had
By Cowgyrl
August 4, 2068
A year ago today, my brother, Tom, passed away from
pneumonia. I am still amazed that modern medical science
can cure most cancers, and even helped my brother conquer
Parkinson's, but a simple cold turned into pneumonia, which
turned out to be too much for his 95 year old body to take.
It was his fault really. He could have gotten it taken care
of sooner, but I think he felt it was time to go.
He had what many would consider a full life, but something
was always missing it seemed. He was never truly happy.
Yes, he took great pride in his children and the two
generations thereafter, but there was something missing.
There was a seeming hole in his existence. Of course, I
long ago knew about it, but I had not given it much thought
really until his passing gave me time to reflect.
Growing up I often envied my brother. He had it made. Mom
always favored him. He was the first born, and he was her
son. Sometimes, I hated the very fact that I had been born
a girl because of it. It was as though my mom resented her
womanhood and was determined to take it out on me, but I
digress.
My brother and I were fairly close even though he was three
years older than me. We would often play together. I can
remember times when we were younger where we would get
dressed up and pretend to be sisters. As a young child,
that never really seemed odd, and eventually, we grew out
of that stage, and I forgot about it until we were in
college.
In high school, I could see that my brother was very
unhappy. He never really fit into any one group. He was
often ridiculed for his country-bumpkin way, and it only
got worse when he tired to blend in. I often worried that
he would snap, but he made it through without any major
incidents. He later swore that he would never go to a class
reunion, and he never did.
He seemed happiest in the summers when 4-H was all he had
to think about. He had three close girl friends. The four
of them were nearly inseparable. They did everything
together during the summer, and we used to tease him about
being just another one of the girls, never considering how
true that might be.
It was when he got to Ohio State that he began to explore
who he was. I thought he was finally happy, but there was
something in his eyes. Something that I couldn't explain.
He began to embrace fully the Country way of life. He wore
Wranglers, brush-poppers, and lacers everyday. Even at
work, he would wear Riatas and boots instead of Dockers and
loafers.
He even pledged to an Ag fraternity. By all outward
appearances, he was a typical country-boy, but one thing
remained constant. His core group of friends were always
girls.
When I finally graduated from high school, I joined my
brother as a Buckeye. I would hang out with him and his
friends. I noticed how he interacted so naturally with the
girls.
What always bothered me was how he would be so self-
effacing. His level of self-esteem was awful, and he rarely
dated because of it. He felt that he was not desirable
enough for any girl to want to date him. Still, the one
steady girlfriend that he did have though was very
beautiful but also very young.
The summer after my freshman year, I was involved with the
junior fairboard. Unlike my brother, I did not get elected
as president, but I was in charge of the entertainment
committee.
One event we decided to try was called the "Mad Man
Makeover". The event was a beauty pageant where some of the
guys would get dressed as girls. I conned my brother into
participating to ensure we had participants. He acted as
though he was not enthused, but he later confessed that he
was quite excited about it. He borrowed a white satin dress
from a girl friend of his at OSU. She was a perfect match
for him size wise. Both of them were six foot, and she was
as we used to say, "an Amazon".
It was funny watching all the guys try to walk in heels,
but Tom was an exception. He had grace.
The girls and I were in awe at the poise he possessed. One
girl even remarked that he walked in the heels better than
she could. Tom was surprisingly attractive and feminine as
a girl, which was surprising given his masculinity. If he
had shaven his legs, he might have actually passed as a
girl. Little did I know that he wanted to do just that, but
he was afraid of the questions that might come from it.
Still, he won the best legs by unanimous decision even with
hair.
When Tom finally graduated from OSU, he continued on to
Auburn for his Master's degree. It wasn't long until he met
a girl and began dating her. She was probably the worst
thing to happen to him. He was miserable. The only friends
he had were her friends, and they were all guys.
Seems, she was allowed to keep her guy-friends, but he
couldn't have his girl friends. I was relieved when they
finally parted ways after graduation.
It was when Tom got to Illinois for his Doctoral studies
that I noticed some subtle changes in his attitude. He was
a bit happier. He was living on his own without any
roommates. There was no girlfriend. He was still dressing
as he always had. He was even wearing his hat more often,
but questions arose when he got his ears pierced.
Tom and I got to talking one day, and he confided in me
about the one secret he had kept. He was a crossdresser,
but more than that, he confessed that he envied me. Here I
was utterly confused by the fact the very brother I envied
was likewise envious of me. I asked him if he was gay. He
said no, but he did say that he wished he were a woman. He
felt as though that was what he should have been all along,
and he often wished that he'd wake up one day with the body
that was right for him. I never understood it entirely, but
I could empathize since I dreamed of being a man.
He explained to me that he often dreamt of a beautiful
woman with brunette hair. The first time he dreamt of her
was in junior high school. It was a very erotic dream, but
it was a dream he'd had in college that made him realize
that he was the woman in those dreams.
I think it spooked him more than he cared to admit.
I asked him if he thought about a sex change, and he
dismissed it. He was afraid of the impact it would have on
the family. Besides, he didn't feel that would make him a
true woman. He tried to convince me that "dressing" would
be enough.
As he had gotten older, he became manlier looking, and he
no longer could pass as well as he could back when we did
the "Mad Man Makeover". That bothered him considerably, and
I think that is part of why he found himself to be so
hideously ugly even when everyone found him to be an
attractive man.
As he continued his doctoral studies, he met a girl that he
befriended and eventually married.
She knew of his "problem", but she didn't understand it.
So, he tried to suppress it. At first, it seemed as all
would be okay, but a couple of years into the marriage, Tom
was getting more depressed. He felt betrayed by her. He
began shaving his legs and trimming the rest of his body
hair in jest, and eventually, he began having his body hair
removed by laser. It brought him some release, and his wife
never indicated that she minded it. She would, however,
make snide remarks when he would make comments about
women's apparel.
The years wore on, and Tom and his wife raised four
beautiful children and had successful careers in academics.
At 40, Tom became Dean of the College of Agriculture at
Oklahoma State, and he moved on to the same position at
Texas A&M several years later. He then moved on to become
President of the University of Tennessee. He finished his
career as President of our old alma mater, The Ohio State
University. Still through all his success, I could see that
he was hurting inside.
At his retirement party, I asked him about his feelings. He
confessed to me that his only pleasure in life was his
children. He and his wife had remained together though Tom
said it was out of a sense of duty. He often entertained
thoughts of ending his life, but the thought of the impact
on his kids kept him from going through with it.
By this time, medical technology had developed a new method
of sexual reassignment. The procedure was costly and long,
but it left the individual completely transformed at the
molecular level. I asked Tom if he ever thought about it,
and he said he did every day.
When asked why he didn't do it, he simply said, "It's too
late for me, Pat." I disagreed, but he resigned himself to
his existence.
When his wife passed away unexpectedly ten years ago, I did
not expect Tom to hang in there much longer, but he did. He
maintained his outward appearance of satisfaction, but
those around him, particularly me, knew he was suffering
somehow.
In the last couple of years, his health declined rapidly as
he had stopped taking care of himself. It was then that his
pneumonia began to settle in. I spent every day of his last
week with him, and I was witness to a miracle that I nearly
did not see.
It progressed very slowly. At first, it seemed as though he
was withering away, but I noticed his winkled skin slowly
became softer. His features became more delicate. His
facial hair became a light peach fuzz. It was not until the
last day that I really noticed it.
The morning before he died I had his oldest daughter come
with her oldest daughter to help me bathe him. I saw Erica
look at her father with confusion.
"Aunt Patty, he looks... So different..." she said.
"You're right. I guess I didn't notice it since I've been
here all along."
I told her.
"Mom." Erica's daughter Jackie interjected. "Grandpa looks
like a woman."
She was right. My brother did look like a woman. There
where my brother had been lying was a 95 year-old woman.
You knew, to look at her face, that she was beautiful when
she was young.
"Oh, my God." Erica replied. "How?"
I looked at my brother and pulled back his covers. A tear
fell down my face when I realized he had somehow become a
woman from head to toe. "A miracle, my dear. A miracle." I
told her.
After we bathed my new sister, she opened her eyes. They
were the same eyes I had looked at for 92 years, but for
the first time, I saw tranquility in those eyes. She looked
at me and smiled.
"Patty." she said in her frail voice. "It's time to go
home. I'm going home." She smiled a smile of eternal peace
and crossed over into the afterlife.
I cried tears of sorrow and tears of joy. My brother's wish
was finally granted, but I wondered why it had to happen
with so little time left. I am still not sure that I
understand it, but I know one thing. He left this world as
a contented woman, and that gives me great comfort.
Jackie never truly understood what happened to her
grandfather, but I sensed Erica knew as she had a smile in
her tear filled eyes. I knew she was very close to her
father, and maybe, just maybe, she knew of his inner being.
As I sit here thinking about that day, I can't help but
wonder what growing up with my older sister would have been
like. Would we have been closer? I will always wonder but
never know.
I do know one thing though...
I love you Sis.
Angelica
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