This story is dedicated to my three net sisters. Joan Banks, Julia
Manchester and Terry Sarkel who keep me sane and constantly help me with
my writing. Thanks also go to Kelly Davidson, Prue Walker and Mr. Man
and many others too numerous to name who encourage my writing at every
turn. I could not do it without them. My thanks and love go to them all.
Additional thanks to Julia Manchester for editing the story.
The Real Emily Bowers
By Genni Smith
I guess if you have to be a 15-year-old boy with the worries of the
world on his shoulders, as I am, then my job gave me plenty of time and
the perfect opportunity to ponder the meaning of life.
Riding my bicycle through the suburbs around my house early in the
morning was my time to relax, to think and to steel myself for the day
ahead. All I had to do was throw a paper onto a front lawn every now and
then as I pedalled. Yeah, I am a paperboy, pretty dorky eh? Well I know
I get teased about it constantly at school but I figure that I am the
sort of kid who's always going to be teased so I might as well make some
money and have some "Jason time", as I referred to the hour and a half
that I spent each weekday morning delivering the town paper. Yep, that's
me, Jason Alexander Johnson -- J.J. to my family and few friends. I'm
small for my age, a bit of a brain, which is always a dangerous thing to
be in high school, and alas, I am totally uncoordinated in anything that
resembles a bat and ball. In short, I guess you'd call me a nerd. Sure I
have my good points but I have trouble letting people close enough to
see them. Once bitten, twice shy.
The weird thing was that I wasn't even meant to be working that Saturday
morning. I woke up early when my mother angrily knocked on my door at
5:30 am. "J.J. Phone," she grumbled and then headed back to bed.
"Yeah?" I said, only half awake as I picked up the extension next to my
bed.
"Jason?"
"Ah ha."
"Sorry to wake you so early on your day off son, but I'm in a real jam
here. There's some sort of virus going around and half of the paper boys
have called in sick."
I knew what was coming and tried to say no. "I really need to sleep Mr.
Garner. I've got a shit load of homework to do and I want to get it all
done today so I can enjoy tomorrow. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry kid, be here. I'll double your pay."
Damn, he had to go for the jugular. "Double?" I asked hoping he might
add a little more to the pot.
"Ah ha, and you can have any morning off during the week."
The man is vicious. "Well I dunno."
"Take it or leave it Jason, I don't have time to dick around. Not this
morning."
My bed was comfortable and sleep was at a premium, but so was money and
he'd hit all the right buttons. "Okay," I said reluctantly, "I'll be
there in twenty minutes."
"Good on you Jason. I knew I could rely on you."
Yeah, good old reliable Jason. Always there in a crisis. My eyes tried
to fight with my brain and they almost won as they closed. I could feel
that if I lay there any longer I'd drift off to sleep and good old
reliable Jason would become good old unemployed Jason.
Looking outside as I climbed into a pair of jeans and a rugby top I
could see, or more to the point, couldn't see that it was still pitch
black out there and even standing by the window I could feel the dark
tendrils of cold air lick at my body. "Virus my arse," I grumbled and
grabbed a brush to make my hair look halfway decent.
Five minutes later I was up and out, pedalling like a maniac to get to
Mr. Garner's news agency a few kilometres away.
His shop was in a row of 10, but all of them were dark as I parked my
bike out the front. Only the news agency showed any sign of life.
Newspapers and magazines had already been delivered to him and he was
stacking them on display shelves as I walked in. "Jason!" he said
sounding shocked that I actually turned up. "Your blood is worth
bottling kid."
"But not worth more than double the week day rates?" I asked half in
jest and half as a challenge.
He looked at me evenly for a few seconds. "I tell you what Jason. If you
do two of the routes I'll give you an extra $20 a week for as long as
you work for me." Did I mention that Garner was a great fisherman? He
knew the one bit of bait that I couldn't turn my little piscean nose up
at. "And I don't want to be opening this store everyday," he continued.
"I'm gonna need some help in here, an assistant manager one day soon."
Hook line and sinker. "You're on." I figured that even if the assistant
manager position was a pipe dream that I'd still be ahead when it came
to money and the extra time it'd take to do one of the other routes
would give me plenty of time to spend it a thousand times over. I always
had these grandiose schemes for my money but usually I put at least 50%
of it into my bank account and only ever thought about it when I looked
at the balance creep up.
"That's my boy. You can do Danny's route. You know that one pretty well
don't you?"
"Yeah no sweat. I'll do my normal route first Mr. G., and then come back
and pick up the extra papers for Danny's route."
Garner just nodded, motioned to where the two bundled lot of papers sat
and then went back to put the magazines out.
-oOOo-
Well I'll say one thing for the cold, it always made me pedal faster. At
least it wasn't raining. Rainy days are always the pits and I'm
generally more worried about the papers getting wet than I am about
myself. I've lost track of the number of colds I have had due to riding
in the rain. A trail of mucus running down from my nose was another
reason I tended to be a target of the jerks at school.
I finished doing my route and then went like hell to get back to the
store. If I were lucky Mrs. Garner, who was usually in the store by that
time, would take pity on me and make me a lovely hot chocolate and let
me sit in front of the heater in the back of the store while I drank. I
usually knew when she'd got laid the night before because she had an
extra spring in her step and I found two marshmallows floating in my hot
chocolate. Unfortunately for me Mr. Garner seemed to have far more
interest in his newspapers getting delivered on time than he did in his
wife.
"Thank God you're back kid," Garner grunted. "I've already had five
calls from people on Danny's run asking where their papers are."
So much for Mrs. Garner's hot chocolate. "I'm on it," I groaned as I
grabbed the second bundle of papers and lugged them out to the carrier
basket on the back of my bike.
Danny was Daniel Jacobson and he wasn't too bad, not that I knew him all
that well. I'd only met him at a couple of the Garners Christmas
parties. Danny was only 13 and so he had a smaller route and a very much
smaller pay packet than I did, I hoped. It was also a shitty run because
it took in a lot of the suburbs in the foothills where you had to pedal
like the devil to get up some of the hills and hang on like crazy to get
back down the other side. I used to ride around the area when I was a
kid. It was close to the nature reserves where if you sat quietly you
could watch the Superb Blue Wren do aerial gymnastics in pursuit of its
insect lunch. Unfortunately I was too young to appreciate it. I'd just
ride my old BMX bike around there like I was Evil Knevel himself.
The one big problem is, it was full of cul de sacs leading up to the
nature reserve, and as I found out, it was very easy to get lost. I am
not stupid -- I knew I was lost just long enough after I happened to
lose myself. Isn't it always the way? First thing I did was ignore my
cub scout training. Yeah, I was a cub scout too, branded as a nerd from
a young age, and didn't stay put. Mr. Garner wouldn't understand that I
was just following the rules I'd learned when I was camping in the
Flinder's Ranges when I was 10. He'd just want his papers delivered, and
I wanted to go home so I ignored the rule and tried to retrace my steps.
Again, I only realised that not only was I lost but also that I couldn't
find my way back to the original spot I had been when I first realised I
was lost. The only saving grace was that it was now light so I could see
where I was while I was lost.
That little fact also became my downfall when I noticed a familiar car
drive towards me and I could see that he could see me. I tried putting
my head down and riding past him as unobtrusively as possible but he was
with friends and therefore saw me at the perfect target to not only help
him exercise his muscles but also impress his friends.
I knew I was in trouble as soon as the car slowed down as I passed it
and heard the gears change to reverse. "Well, well, well..." he said as
he paced me. "If it isn't little Jason. Look guys, it's Jason."
"Hello Jason," someone said from the passenger seat, and I noticed
movement from the backseat in the corner of my eyes.
"Hi," I said weakly keeping my eyes on the road ahead. Another rule I
learnt at cub scouts, never look a wild animal in the eyes, they'll
think you are threatening them and will attack. Mark Perry was about the
wildest animal I knew.
"How lucky is this?" Mark asked rhetorically as he leaned out of the car
and somehow managed to steer the car at the same time. "Here we are on
our way to footy training, all ready to get into battle, and we run
across young Mr. Johnson."
Don't look him in the eye, my mind screamed. Do not look him in the eye.
"Piss off Mauler, I'm not in the mood," I said, looking him in the eye.
I knew it was a mistake as soon as I said it. I really knew it was a
mistake when he braked and I heard his car door open. "What did you call
me?" he said in his most menacing tone, and as my underpants could
attest, it was pretty bloody menacing.
"Uh -- Mark."
He was so thick he was almost fooled but I could smell the rubber where
his brain should be was burning as he tried to make sure what I had
said. "No you didn't, you called me Mauler. Didn't he guys?"
Three other equally large and equally stupid guys had joined him, two of
them were standing in front of my bike on either side of the front wheel
to make sure I couldn't move. When they worked out there was a question
there for them to answer they all had the same pained expression on
their face as they got the grey matter into gear.
"Yeah," one of them finally said.
"He definitely called you Mauler, Mauler."
Mark Perry nodded, glad that he'd been vindicated. "See? No one calls me
Mauler, do they guys?"
"No, they don't Mauler," said a guy I knew was Mauler's cousin, Craig.
It was as if some unspoken signal passed between them as they started
laying into me. In a second I was on the ground being used as a stage
for their tap dancing routines. It's strange, but I remember lying there
in pain thinking that they shouldn't be doing it because it was the
weekend. Not because I didn't deserve to have the crap beaten out of me
anytime, but only because it was the weekend. How weak am I? I didn't
lift a finger to stop them, I just tried to roll into a foetal position,
which wasn't easy when you are laying on top of a bike and watching the
day's news flutter past your eyes on the morning breeze. I tried to tell
myself that I had no hope, that there were four of them and I didn't
stand a chance against them, but I wasn't buying it. Why aren't you
fighting back Jason? Fight damn it! Fight! But I didn't. I just lay
there. "I wish my life was different," my mind screamed out. "Why can't
I be different?"
-oOOo-
I don't know for sure what it was that I noticed first; it could have
been the absence of a harsh metallic bicycle under me, or the sudden
lack or blows and kicks from the four tough guys or any one of the
myriad of things that suddenly just didn't seem right. At first I
thought I must have blacked out and awakened in the ambulance, but I
discounted that when I realised there was no motion. I dismissed the
idea I was in a hospital as soon as I sniffed at the air and didn't
notice that strange hospital smell.
"Are you okay honey?" a woman asked.
Tentatively I opened my eyes and adjusted my focus from the medium
distance I expected the woman to be from me almost to the immediate
foreground. Something was definitely not right. The woman, a smiling
blonde lady who looked to be around 30 years old, appeared to be
kneeling down, but it sure as hell felt as though I was standing and I
was looking at her an inch or so below eye level.
"Did you make a wish sweetie?"
Make a wish? It was only then that my attention was directed to the
small cupcake she held in her hand, a cupcake that sported a solitary
candle which was extinguished, little ribbons of smoke rose from it like
delicate crystal.
The woman continued on her merry way. "You'll get your big cake at the
party later on honey, this is just a special cake between us."
Okay, now I wondered if I was so damaged that I ended up in the psyche
ward with this crazy woman who, it appeared, had birthday fantasies.
I wanted to look away, to look around the room and find out where the
hell I was, but there was something in her eyes, her big blue eyes that
made me give all of my attention to her. Maybe it was self preservation,
if she had a cake she might very well have a knife and I was kind of
hoping her eyes might indicate if she intended to plunge said knife into
my chest.
"So," Psycho woman said bending forward just a little and looking at me
even closer, "what would you like to wear today?"
So now this is really getting nuts. Either I had done one and a half
paper delivery routes naked, in which case I didn't blame Mauler one
little bit for beating me up, or this lady was under the illusion that I
needed to get changed into something more comfortable. I am a teenaged
boy for crying out loud, the only thing more comfortable than jeans are
shorts in the summer and even those I only wear around home, not wanting
to inflict my legs on anyone who didn't have to put up with them by
accident of family.
"Something pretty?" she asked.
Yeah Lady, what the hell, let's go for an evening gown, elbow length
gloves and a tiara shall we?
All jokes aside I only began to have grave concerns about my sanity when
the woman stood up, and up, and up. She literally towered over me and by
breaking the eye hold she had on me she allowed me to look around and
more importantly look at myself.
The room I was standing in was made for the giantess of a lady who was
now moving off to my right. All of the fittings were huge, wardrobes
seemed to stretch on forever, I could just peek up at the tops of
dressing tables and chests of drawers and even the bed was well over
waist height on me now. I didn't remember selling a cow and getting
three magical beans for it but somehow I had entered the land of the
giants.
I noticed the pink comforter on the bed around the same time that I saw
the delicate little rose buds on the white wall paper and not long
before I saw the collection of dolls up towards one wall of the bedroom
sitting on top of what appeared to be a large toy chest.
That's about when I saw the mirror, one of those full-length jobs that
hung on a frame so it could be tilted. My eyes first saw a blur of
movement behind me. The woman was happily flittering from gigantic
wardrobe to the colossal chest of drawers. Then, when I had satisfied
that reflex urge to work out what was moving, I noticed the only other
human figure in the room. That didn't make sense, I thought as I looked
at the little girl. Where was I?
Only the giantess and this little girl appeared before me, and my mind
tried to make sense of it all as I continued to look at the smaller of
the two. She appeared no older than 5 years of age, and from what I
could see she had every appearance of just waking up, right down to the
little clumps of sleep at the corner of her blue eyes. She had blonde
tresses that messily curled their way down and spilled onto her
shoulders. She was wearing a large red T-shirt with some strange,
undecipherable writing and a picture of a ballerina on it.
Where was I? Where the hell was Jason?
I moved my head ever so slightly down and saw that I was dressed in a
red item of clothing and more alarmingly that curly blonde hair appeared
on my left shoulder and continued on until it was somewhere near my
armpit. I reached down and pulled the t-shirt up a bit to look at the
writing, this time it made sense, sort of. Grandma's Little Prima Donna
it read upside down, I worked out that it was the mirror that warped it
so much that it was hard to read.
"Come on Emily," the giantess said as she looked down at me. "You've got
a big day ahead of you princess, and it's time to get you all clean and
dressed for it." With that a big hand scooped up a small one that for
all intents and purposes was attached to my arm and she led me out of
the room and into an unfamiliar house.
I felt the hair dance across my shoulders through the t-shirt and tickle
what skin the red cloth didn't cover as we walked down a long corridor
and into a bathroom.
"Do you need to pee?"
It wasn't a question I was expecting. I would have been ready for, "Are
you happier now that you're insane?" Or, "Do you have any idea you're on
the new and improved candid camera?" Or maybe even, "Weren't you warned
that all of that junk food was bad for your health?"
"Do you need to pee?" It wasn't even in my top 100 of expected
questions, but now that it had been asked I did notice a "bloating," I
guess you'd call it.
Too afraid to talk I simply nodded.
"Okay honey, you might as well take off your nightie and panties while I
get the bath running."
Run? Yes, what a good idea. I should make a run for it. But my mind was
in some weird state of total shock as it slowly processed that this was
all too real and my feet might as well have been bolted to the floor.
The blonde looked at me with a funny expression playing on her face.
"You're still half asleep aren't you?" she asked. "Here, let me help."
The sound of the tap water running into the bath now spurred some more
primal instinct in me, and as the woman took off the shirt and helped me
balance to get my undies off I noticed I was shifting my weight. No, I
was almost hopping from one foot to the other.
I turned and looked at the toilet from hell. The bowl came up to my
waist, and as I looked down for my dick I came to the conclusion that I
would need a step to stand on, even if my penis was there, which it
wasn't. I turned, put my hands on the seat and pretty much lifted my
bottom into place. Then, without warning, I relaxed the right muscles
and heard the trickle of water flowing into the bowl, a trickle that
felt like a flood coming from somewhere deep inside of me.
"Ooh, it sounds like you really needed that. You are a good girl," Big
Blondie cooed as she pulled off a few sheets of toilet paper and handed
them to me.
'Lady,' I thought, 'if you reckon that pissing makes me Einstein you'll
be doing cartwheels when you work out that not only can I read, I can do
all of my times tables by heart.' Still there was plenty of time to show
off later, right now I needed to attend to something else.
I must have waited too long to do it because she gently took the paper
back and in the next second I felt something so totally foreign to my 15
years of experience as she wiped me between the legs, right where I
didn't really have anything there until that fateful extra shift for Mr.
Garner. I almost jumped out of my skin at the strangeness of it.
"I don't know what's wrong with you this morning Emily. I guess turning
six is a big day in any girl's life."
SIX?
"Well come on then, this bath isn't getting any warmer." She picked me
up like I was a rag doll and placed me in the luke warm and very bubbly
water.
"Mum?" I asked, taking a pretty educated guess at the woman's identity,
and was stunned to hear a tiny voice echo around the tiled room, I don't
mean tiny as in volume, I mean that it was so obviously that of a little
girl.
"Mummy! Yeah baby?"
"What day is it?" Again that voice was the only voice I heard aurally
even though the voice in my head was unmistakably that of Jason.
"It's your birthday silly," the mother said in that annoying voice
adults reserve for small children and animals.
"No, I mean what DAY is it?" I said a little more forcefully.
"It's a Saturday sweetie, otherwise you'd be getting ready for school."
I ventured only one more question before I intended to shut up and let
my brain go to work on the problem. "What time is it?"
"A little after eight. Why?"
"I just wondered." The time line all fitted in, as long as it was the
same Saturday that I had been doing the paper route. The word wish
loomed in my mind. I had made a wish at what must have been pretty much
the same time as this Emily girl. That left two questions, well actually
it left me with two million questions but there were two real standouts.
What had the little girl wished? And what sick fucker In charge of the
great control room of the universe or whatever the hell it was had
thought that this life is what I had meant when I asked for different?
When the bath was over I had been scrubbed from head to toe, shampooed,
and smelled like some sort of flower. I climbed out of the tub,
"climbed" being the appropriate word, and stood there shivering with
cold I had never felt as strongly. When I looked down at the pipe
cleaner like legs and arms and the thin frame of my new body I guessed
that there was no longer as much of me for the cold to get through so it
stood back, laughed briefly at my poor defences and then attacked with a
vengeance. Every part of me was shivering so much that it would have
looked like I was having some type of seizure. The mother, as I took to
calling the blonde lady in my mind, smiled sweetly at me and wrapped
what I first thought was a blanket around me. It completely covered me
and with shock I realized it was only a towel.
The mother, not my mother mind you, my mother was probably still in her
bed which is where I should have been. Oh hell, now I have you thinking
that I share the bed with my mother, I meant my bed. Where was I? Oh
yeah, the mother patted me dry and then rubbed the towel into my hair.
She gently placed the towel around me again and walked me back to the
little girl's bedroom.
By now the much finer hair was only damp to the touch so the mother
rubbed it just a little more and then reached over, above my line of
sight and grabbed something she'd taken out earlier. I don't know why
but I didn't expect to see her holding a pair of panties, but that's
exactly what she had in her hands. They were white cotton, with some
sort of lace around the waist and leg openings. I decided I had no
option but to grin and "bare" it. In the end I forgot about the grin as
she held them open for me to step into and pulled them up my legs until
they cradled my flat crotch. Next came a little matching undershirt.
Whistling some little tune that was annoying the fuck out of me, she
reached out of my line of vision again to the top of one of the larger
chests of drawers, and this time I did a double take when I saw what the
had retrieved. It was a dress, a real honest to god little girl's dress.
It was light blue with short puffy sleeves, a white round collar, a
white sash at the waist, white trimming about 2 inches up from the hem
and right in the front, in the middle of the sash were three cross
stitched, no appliqu?d tulips. To say I didn't like the look of the
dress would be like saying that I was only too happy to bump into Mauler
that morning. Shit, he was the arsehole, why wasn't he in the little
girl's body, about to have such a feminine little dress being lowered
over his head? Now that would be justice.
"What's the matter Emily?" the mother asked upon seeing the stunned
expression on my face. "Would you prefer the pink dress today?"
I shook my head and swallowed a few times. I guess it's pretty silly
really; I was going to be seen as little Emily no matter what colour
dress I wore but my male ego, given the choice of blue or pink went
straight for the blue one.
The mother took the dress off the hanger and fiddled around at the back
of it for a minute, then told me to put my arms up, which I did and she
guided my skinny little arms into the correct holes and did the same
with my head. When she was done fussing with the hem and petticoats at
the front she asked me to turn around and I felt the dress slide against
my legs. Then I worked out that she was buttoning up four or five
buttons and tying the sash in what I could only imagine was a perfect
bow. I was trapped in the dress until someone released me.
"Sit down sweetie."
I reluctantly did as she asked thinking the worst was over. The mother
bunched up a sock and then steered the toes of my right foot into the
right place and continued up over the heel and up my calf. There was
lace at the top of the damn sock and I noticed the sock itself was quite
thin with diamond shaped little holes running up the right and left side
of it, from where the shoe would go, all the way to the frilly top. She
repeated the same routine on my left foot and then reached over and
grabbed two black shiny leather Mary Jane shoes.
Gently pulling me to my feet she scooped me up again and placed me on
chair that looked to me as if it was a long way off the ground. Making
sure I stayed as still as possible to rule out a fall, I looked up and
saw the same girly face looking back at me from a different mirror as I
had just a little earlier. She had most of her baby teeth, but still had
one missing left of the larger front teeth, a charming fact that made
her look all the more like a little girl. She had dimples on her chubby
cheeks and a sprinkling of freckles on her cute little button nose and
under her eyes that took nothing away from the fact that the rest of her
skin was flawless peaches and cream. The freckles if anything added to
the Rebecca of Sunny Brook Farm appearance of her.
I sat there for what felt like forever as the mother went to work on
Emily's hair. She brushed it like a million times and I squealed
sounding like any other little girl when she hit some tangles. A huge
weight was lifted from me when she stopped brushing and combing only to
flatten me when she started plating and styling my hair. It was obvious
to me now that the mother was intent on dressing little Emily like a
princess for her birthday, which would be fine if I wasn't stuck inside
of little Emily's body. The mother was plaiting a long braid at the back
of my head and had separated some hair from the left and right of my
face when one word hit me like a tonne of bricks. Party! The mother had
said that the little cake was just special between her and Emily and
there would be a bigger one at the party. Oh shit.
When my hair was braided in one long plait down the back and tied off
with some sort of elastic band the mother took the two long locks of
hair from either side of my face and proceeded to plait them as well,
then she did some sort of girlie hair shit that I couldn't see, but
which I knew hurt, and she pulled both smaller strands of plaited hair
around behind my head and attached them to the larger plait at the back.
After all of this had been done I was surprised to feel there was still
a lot of hair that tickled my back and shoulders, and when I gingerly
turned to the left I could see that the mother had left most of the hair
the normal length and the plaits were there for decoration.
Thinking that it now had to be over I was about to hop down and wondered
if I should employ a sharper for the descent. "Hang on Emily, we're not
quite done."
"We're not?" I asked in that childish tone.
"Uh uh."
What the hell else can there be? A question that was answered when the
mother reached into a jewellery box and pulled out a little silver charm
bracelet which she attached to my left wrist, a pink Barbie wrist watch
was fastened to my right wrist and two small silver earrings in the
shape of love hearts. A thought crossed my mind fleetingly as I pondered
if my ears were in fact pierced but I needn't have worried. She tilted
my left ear up first and deftly placed the spike through then added the
backing and did the same for my right ear. Next came just a little pink
lip gloss and the tiniest little bit of blush. "A treat," she told me.
"Just for today. You can wear make up when you're older, okay Emily?"
I can't wait. "Yes Mummy."
"There you go pumpkin. All done," the mother told me as she helped me
down from the chair and carefully set me down on my feet. She handed me
a little light blue handbag that matched the dress and said, "We'd
better get going."
"Going? Go where?"
"We are meeting grandma for morning tea sweetie, and then we are going
shopping. Don't worry though, we will be back in plenty of time for your
party. You must be hungry sweetie, you didn't even eat your cup cake and
you haven't had breakfast."
Food was the last thing on my mind.
"No matter," she continued, "we can get something for you at the Mall."
Taking my hand she walked me through parts of the house I hadn't had
time to see, and then outside to a car, only stopping to grab her
handbag and her keys. As we got into the car I looked all around, half
of me was worried there would be people who would see me and laugh at
Jason in the little girl's dress, and the other half was trying to work
out exactly where I was. No one was around apart from one old man
walking a dog and two boys in their early teens who wandered past on
skate boards so I shifted my attention to my surroundings.
It all looked so familiar, and as I was placed into the back seat and
the seat belt was clamped firmly in place, I could see my petticoats and
dress all fighting to beat gravity and I suspected my panties were
showing to the world. I was shocked to realize that I wasn't too far
from where Mauler and his mates had stopped me that morning. Maybe two
blocks, maybe three. My suspicions were confirmed as the mother started
to drive through streets I knew all too well. I appeared we were heading
for the Mall where I spent a bit of my hard earned money trying to beat
the baddies while playing arcade games.
It was only when I was helped out of the seat and out of that car that I
saw how big the world looked to a small child. A large number of other
people were parking and then walking to the mall, and most of them were
even taller than the mother. Cars were huge, doors were huge, even
shopping trolleys were huge. I took the mother's hand out of a sense of
self-preservation and fear this time, and we walked into the Mall where
the crowd of giants moved around me. It was strange and disheartening to
notice how many of them didn't even see me, and the few that did simply
smiled at me like I was brain damaged. I kept wanted to shout 'look down
for crying out loud I am a person too, just a little one.'
My legs were already tired from trying to keep up with the mother's long
strides as we turned into a large cafe on the first floor of the mall. I
wasn't looking forward to using the escalator again to get back up to
the car. The moving stairs had sent terror down my spine when I saw not
only how big they looked but also how crowded. The mother had walked
onto it like it was nothing, and as she moved off still holding my hand
I was pulled onto it and almost toppled down a single step, a step that
I hadn't given a moments thought to the day before. Next came what I can
only describe as claustrophobia as more people hopped on behind me and
seemed to close in on my like a wall. I was trapped looking at a fat
man's butt, and there was a large elderly woman behind me. The old woman
had looked down at me and smiled that smile again. "Hello there
precious," she said. I was glad at first to turn away from the fat butt
that was inches from my face but stretching my neck around and up was a
strain. I smiled weakly back at the old woman who was grossly obese.
"Aren't you a pretty little thing?" she asked rhetorically.
The mother who obviously didn't know what rhetorical was grinned at the
old woman. "Thankyou. Say 'thank you' Emily," she said to me.
"Thankyou," I parroted.
"Emily. That is a beautiful name for a such a pretty girl in a lovely
dress."
"Emily is six today, aren't you Emily?"
I inwardly groaned as the mother said it but nodded nonetheless.
"Six? My you're getting to be a big girl aren't you sweetie?" The old
woman smiled and reached into her purse. "Here you go darling, here's 20
cents for you."
Gee, I can retire on that lady, you tight arsed fat old moll.
"That is so kind of you," the mother said as we reached the bottom and I
was shit scared that the crush of humanity coming behind would fall on
me. "Say, 'thank you,' Emily."
"Thank you." I smiled, anything to get out of the way of all of the
giants heading my way.
The old woman smiled and thankfully turned right, as we turned left.
The cafe wasn't all that busy at that time of the morning, and most of
the people sitting at the tables appeared to be early shoppers getting
their morning coffee fix. The mother guided me to a table at the back of
the cafe, where a woman who looked to be in her early 50s sat. The
mother leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Hi mum, sorry we're
late."
"No worries honey, you're here now. How was your day yesterday?"
"Not too bad. I only worked for five hours while Emily was in school and
then I did some grocery shopping. What about you?"
"I played tennis with the girls."
"Yeah? Did you win?"
"I lost my singles match, but Wendy and I thrashed them in the doubles.
6-0, 6-2."
"Good one," the mother smiled. "Have you ordered?"
"Not yet. I was waiting for you."
'Hello,' I thought. 'I am here too, you know? Don't ignore me because I
look like I can't even tie my own shoelaces.' I needn't have worried.
Anonymity was nice compared to public embarrassment.
The Grandmother finally turned her attention to me. "Hello baby. Have
you got a kiss for your old Grandma?"
'Sorry love, can you wait until my herpes reoccurs first?'
"Give her a kiss," the mother prompted, pushing me forward a little.
I tried to turn my cheek, but her lips were like a lip-seeking missile,
and eventually they found mine. Christ almighty, the woman could suck
start a Harley Davidson, and had more slobber than the average St.
Bernard!
"You look adorable," the grandmother said when I finally escaped her
clutches. "Is that a new dress?"
I was about to answer that she looked like the love child of
Frankenstein's monster and Katherine Hepburn but it appeared you didn't
have the right to answer people's question unless you were over 10
because the mother jumped in. "Yes, I got it for her last week. Isn't it
sweet?"
"It sure is. Give me a twirl honey."
A twirl? Bloody hell! I couldn't twirl you if I had a forklift," I
thought, but then I realised what she meant and reluctantly spun on my
heels for her, feeling the skirt and petticoats of the dress flare out
as I did.
The mother smiled at me like I was a genius and then turned back to the
grandmother. "Well she needs some new panties and a bathing suit today.
Oh, and a proper party dress too. She's grown out of her old one."
"What a shame," the grandmother replied as the mother lifted me into a
chair. "That was such a pretty dress. Still, we'll find another one for
you Emily, don't you worry."
'See this look on my face lady? Well it indicates that this is one
little girl who isn't going to ape shit over some dumb dress.' "Great,"
I said with what feeling I could muster.
A waitress came over and they both ordered a cappuccino, and I was about
to open my mouth when the mother said, "She'll have a small glass of
lemonade please. We've got a busy day and I don't want to be taking her
to the little girl's room every three minutes. I swear she has a bladder
the size of a walnut." The waitress looked at me and giggled.
'Hey! Why don't you say it louder for crying out loud? I don't think
everyone in the mall heard you.'
The next hour or so was spent listening to them talk, for the most part,
and answering some inane questions. At one stage the mother looked over
at another table and then back at me. "Sit like a lady please, Emily."
"Huh?"
"Close you legs honey. That little boy is looking at your panties."
I followed her gaze to a boy who looked around my new age and he was
laughing like mad. 'The rotten little prick,' I thought. But I closed my
legs and kept them closed for the rest of the time we were there.
The mother ordered for me again, from the children's menu of course, and
I ended up with the smallest slice of ham and pineapple pizza you can
imagine. I didn't like pineapple and I sure as hell didn't think it
would fill me up, but I was in for two surprises. The pineapple wasn't
too bad at all, and I couldn't even finish the tiny piece of pizza on my
plate before I was full.
When the bill had been paid we headed off to the bathroom with each
woman taking a hand. I almost had to run to keep up with them and my
arms were sore form keeping them held up for so long. When we got into
the ladies room the Grandma headed for one cubicle and the mother took
me to another one. Without asking if I needed to piss she lifted the
dress and petticoats, then pulled the panties down until they were
around my ankles and unceremoniously placed me on the toilet. I was so
pissed off at her that I didn't even realize I needed to go. Again she
took off a few pieces of paper and handed them to me but I wanted to
avoid a repeat of that morning's shock when I first felt the paper
wiping between the puffy lips. Knowing what was coming didn't make the
task any easier this time around but at least I could do it relatively
slowly compared to the sand paper effect that occurred when the mother
did it.
The mother smiled at me again like I'd won the Nobel peace prize, pulled
me to my feet and pulled my panties up. She fluffed the dress and made
sure it was all in place, then gently moved me away. I was stunned when
she undid her skirt and pulled it down along with her pantyhose and
panties, then sat and did her business. That is something I wasn't
expecting. When she'd finished and had her clothes back in order we
headed out and both washed our hands, with me needing to be lifted to
reach the basin. The grandmother was already waiting for us, so we moved
out and towards the first of what I found out was many stores.
I was tired and annoyed at trying on the huge number of clothes that the
women wanted to see me model, and even more annoyed that I didn't get a
say in what they bought. The party dress was even girlier than the one I
had on. It was white with more lace and petticoats than most wedding
dresses I had seen. We moved from shop to shop like some consumer
machine, and when I complained about my sore legs I was lifted up and
placed into the kiddie seat of the shopping trolley where I was unable
to get out unless one of them lifted me.
Finally after what felt like a week, or three, the Grandmother walked us
to the mother's car, and I was even happy when she carried me up the
escalator, sparing me the anguish of another ride at ground level. Again
I was strapped into the back seat, but this time the grandmother climbed
into the front passenger seat and the mother assumed her seat behind the
steering wheel.
All of the way home the Grandmother sung nursery rhymes and encouraged
me to sing along with her.
Here's one for you, I thought. 'There once was an old lady who sat in a
car, she pissed someone off and now she's dead.'
Okay, so it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
When we were back at Emily's house I was placed in front of a Barbie's
dream house and told to play quietly while they got ready for the party.
Play? Sure, got any matches? In the end I just waited until no one was
watching and moved Ken up and down on top of Barbie making them look
like they were shagging each other's brains out. Sure it wasn't much but
it was my little way of rebelling.
In the end I lifted myself onto the sofa, well climbed onto it would be
a better explanation, and turned on the television. I was happily
watching Jerry Springer, just like I did when I was home from school
sick, when the Grandmother entered the room, grabbed the remote and
switched it over to some puppet show. "You shouldn't be watching this
trash sweetie," she said. The puppets didn't swear or hit each other,
talk about their transvestite boyfriends or an aunty who was sleeping
with her nephew's girlfriend or anything. How boring.
Around 40 minutes later the doorbell sounded and the mother called Emily
to the lounge room where another lady and a little girl around Emily's
age were standing. The girl was equally well dressed and held a big
present wrapped in paper with ballerinas all over it. "Happy birthday
Emily," the girl and woman said in unison as the girl handed the box to
me.
More and more parents and children poured into the house, and the
children, including me unfortunately, were all ushered outside where a
large table was set with fairy wings and pink ribbon. I noticed there
were a few boys there who weren't too happy about being with all of the
little girls. Personally I couldn't blame them.
We ate sugary food and played various games such as pin the tail on the
donkey, musical chairs and pass the parcel, then the girls dragged me
into a game of skipping. Somebody kill me.
The presents were all pretty damn boring, actually. Well I am sure the
real Emily would've liked them, but the dolls, doll's clothes, more
clothes for Emily and little girl's books were nothing that I could go
ape shit over. I smiled politely and thanked whoever had handed it to
me. Even the biggest present of the day, a pink bicycle just the right
size for Emily, complete with training wheels was shrug material to me,
even though everyone else oohed and aahed over it.
I had one thing going for me and that was my brain that appeared to be
unchanged with the swap or change or whatever the hell it was. As soon
as I heard someone call someone else by his or her name I could remember
it and address him or her correctly from then on. Even with the adults I
could work out who was who either by the way their son or daughter acted
around them or by family resemblance.
After a pink cake was brought out from the kitchen with six candles,
flames fluttering in the light breeze. It was promptly dispatched to
around 15 little stomachs and 6 or 7 bigger ones. The mother revealed a
Pi?ata hanging from a nearby tree, and handed the birthday girl a very
thick piece of wood. Well it felt very thick but it turned out to be a
piece of broom handle that was big to my tiny hands.
A blindfold was put around my head with the mother making sure she
didn't mess up my hair, and I took out some of my frustrations whacking
away at the pig shaped papier Mache Pi?ata. All of the other kids had a
turn and one boy bragged he'd be the one to split it open. He almost did
too, but then it was my go again and I just pictured the Pi?ata was
Mauler, a thing made all the easier because of the resemblance between
the captain of the football team and the pig, and belted the crap out of
it. The excited screams of little boys and girls and they dived to the
ground to retrieve the sweets told me I'd scored a direct hit.
None too soon for my liking the party was over and the house was emptied
of guests, leaving the mother and the grandmother to clean up. One good
thing about my new age, I guess, they didn't even think about asking me
to help. The bad thing was I was placed in front of the TV and made to
watch Sesame Street. Can you believe that Big Bird still hasn't learnt
to fly? And who the hell is Elmo? Jeez, things have changed since I was
a kid. The last time I was a kid that is. Mind you I still think Bert
and Ernie are gay.
-oOOo-
The day drifted away with more trips to the toilet and a very small
dinner. I had a little bit of time to look around Emily's room while the
mother was on the telephone to one of her friends, and I found that most
of the books had "Emily Bowers" written on the inside of the front cover
in a childish scrawl. When she finally got off the phone the mother
ushered me back into the bathroom and thankfully helped me out of that
stupid dress. I had another bath and then she made me put on a pink lacy
nightie, a clean pair of panties and before the big hand was on the 12
and the little hand was on the 8 as they say on Sesame Street the mother
took me to Emily's bedroom, placed me in the bed and tucked me in. She
placed a large doll next to me and read Snow White.
'Hey,' I wanted to scream. 'I know the story already. A woman gets
booted out of the castle and moves in with a bunch of short arses who
make her cook and clean up after them. Then some old bag gives her a
drugged apple and she goes into a coma and the only person who can wake
her is some gay looking guy named Prince Charming. He can't get a
girlfriend the normal way so he sees this bird that can't say no and
gives her a kiss, probably cops a feel as well. I bet she scared the
hell out of him when she woke up. He felt so guilty that he married her
Blah blah blah. Happily ever after. Yadda yadda yadda. The end.'
But I guess this little body tires faster that my old one, because
before she even got to the apple I was fast asleep.
-oOOo-
The next day I woke hoping against hope that it had all been a bad
dream, but one look into the doll's big eyes and its grin that was
almost laughing at me was enough to tell me that I was still stuck as
Emily, and another day was about to begin. I couldn't make out the clock
on the wall, but it looked pretty light outside, so I hopped out of bed
onto the cold floor and made my way to the door, only to find that I
wasn't quite tall enough to reach the door handle. 'Stuff this for a
joke,' I thought, and headed back to bed.
Sometime later the mother woke me in that sing song voice, and walked me
again first to the toilet and then to the bath where I had my second
bubble bath for as long as I can remember. I was worried about another
girlie dress when we went back to Emily's bedroom, but instead I was
dressed in light pink cotton panties and a cotton crop top undershirt
and then a bright pink t-shirt and lavender short overalls with a large
rabbit on the bib, topped off with pink socks and sneakers. Better than
yesterday, but still not that great.
A small bowl of rice bubbles was placed in front of me and again I
doubted that it would even touch the sides on the way down but again I
was full before the bowl was emptied. Some television followed as the
mother did some more housework, and later she walked me around to a
local playground where I was encouraged to play on the equipment with
the other kids. I was a little unsure about it because I was one of the
smallest there and some of them, especially the boys or so it seemed,
were pretty rough. Eventually a girl who looked a year younger than
Emily asked me to play with her and I spent a very boring 40 minutes
playing tea parties with her in a cubby house. It was almost a relief
when the mother offered to push us on the swings for a while and watch
us while we played on a slide.
I wasn't wearing a watch and when I asked the mother the time I was
amazed to hear that it was only just after 10:30 am. Time seemed to go
very slowly when you made almost no decisions for yourself.
I was tired when I got home, the playground wasn't all that far away but
one thing I already knew is that the combination of smaller legs and the
mother's longer strides made walking even short distances a challenge.
"Are you tired honey?" the mother asked, and I stupidly nodded. "Well
you're a little old for a nap, but you did have a big day yesterday, so
maybe an hour or two won't hurt."
"No Mummy," I said.
"Yes Emily." The mother retorted in a tone that made me know without a
doubt that she wasn't about to listen to me.
She helped me strip down to my panties, which was a help because I found
that my little fingers couldn't undo the straps of the little overalls
without a great deal of difficulty, sat me on the toilet again and
waited while I wiped, then took me back to Emily's bedroom and tucked me
into bed, pulling down the blinds to darken the room. I didn't want to
sleep. In fact I told myself that I wasn't going to have a nap like a
good girl but then reality hit me, the room was dark and I was too short
to reach either the blind, light switch or the door, so all I could do
was lie there. Soon enough my eyes began to close and I'd fought it for
as long as I could, but after too many times of jerking from a half
sleep my tired body won and sleep claimed me until the mother woke me a
few hours later.
I have to admit that my energy was restored, and I felt even better
again after I had re-dressed and eaten half a cheese sandwich and a
stick of celery. I was in a mood to run and play but the mother informed
me that she had an appointment at the 7-day clinic to get some sleeping
tablets. The Doctor's office was a bit of a shock because one of the
kids from my school was seated in the waiting room as we walked in. I
kept looking at him to see if he showed any sign of recognition but he
ignored me and continued to look bored until his name was called.
A boy around Emily's age, on the other hand, greeted me and he asked me
to play with him. I didn't want to but the mother accepted his
invitation for me and we both went into a plastic cubby house, where he
told me he was the dad and I was the mum. He then proceeded to play out
every sexual stereotype from asking me where his dinner was to demanding
I keep the place clean. What the hell was he being taught? I told him
about women's lib but he wasn't buying any of it. In the end I kneed him
in the balls and walked out crying, telling the mother that he had hit
me.
When the mother was called in to one of the Doctors' offices he smiled
at me and then ignored me for the rest of the 10-minute consultation. I
had that feeling of being invisible again but I was almost getting used
to that. We left with the prescription and stopped off at a chemist shop
to get it filled. The Doctor had called the Mother Lorraine, and the
woman who served her at the chemists called her Mrs. Whitney, so I
finally knew the mother's name. At the mall and at the party everyone
seemed to call her Loll. The difference in Emily's and the mother's
surname didn't phase me. Half of the kids in my high school had a
different last name than their mothers, who tended to be divorced and
using their maiden name or remarried and using their new husband's
surname.
Back at Emily's house I was dumped in front of the square baby sitter
again while Lorraine went and did something. This time I was relegated
to watching a video of Disney's Peter Pan, which I had to admit, was a
little bit better than Sesame Street. Mind you I always tended to root
for Captain Hook and the Crocodile, but again they lost and drippy Peter
Pan won. I'm sorry, but from my point of view a kid who didn't want to
grow up was a load of crap.
When the video had finished I wandered up from the family room to see
what the mother was up to, she'd only stuck her head into the room a few
times while I was watching, and I was a little curious to see what she
was up to. I was surprised to see she was showered and dressed to the
nines, a wonderful smelling meal was in the oven and the house was
spotless. Something was up and the Mother seemed to be anxious, watching
the clock again and again.
"Are you hungry Emily?"
"A little," I nodded, taking in all of the wonderful smells that filled
the kitchen.
"Good, because I've made you some sausage rolls."
'Sausage rolls? You've got something in that oven that I'd kill to eat
but all you offer me is sausage rolls? Get over yourself woman.'
"You like Sausage rolls, don't you pumpkin?" the mother continued. It
was more a statement than a question.
"Can I have some of that?" I asked as sweetly as I could.
"Oh I don't know baby. There's lots of garlic in the lasagne. I think it
might be a bit too rich for your little tummy. Leave it to the adults
ok? You can have some when you're older."
Adults? Plural? I think the mother is going to get laid. Well that
explains the dopey grin on her face. I thought about asking who the
other adult was but decided against it and ate the sausage rolls with
more than a hint of jealousy.
The mother wandered off to do something outside and she assumed I was
watching television again, but I used that quiet time to grab a phone
and dial my old number.
"Hello," a voice said on the other end of the line. It was Mum, my mum.
Not the one who has spent the past two days treating me like a six-year-
old girl but my mother, the lady who did my washing, cooked my meals and
even bought my undies. Hell, my mother hadn't been doing all that
differently to the new one I thought somewhat guiltily. At least Emily
had an excuse that she couldn't reach the stove, wasn't tall enough for
the washing machine, and had no money to buy her own undies. "Hello," my
mother repeated, always the same impatient pain in the arse. God I miss
her.
"Ah, hello," I said quietly, in case Emily's mother was coming back. "Is
Jason there please?"
"I'm sorry sweetie," my mum said using the same tone of voice that
Emily's mother used when humouring me. "I think you have the wrong
number. There's no Jason here."
"Jason Johnson?" I asked again, only too aware of my little voice.
"Yes this is the Johnson house, but there's no Jason here honey. Maybe
you should ask your mummy to check the number again."
I hung up without any more discussion. I was trying to work out what
this all meant, and I figured a 6 year old could be excused a little
rudeness now and then, anyway. It would just be put down to the
impetuousness of youth.
"Who were you talking to?" the mother asked as she re-entered the house
with a bunch of flowers she'd taken from the garden.
"The Queen," I said as nonchalantly as I could manage, and it had the
desired effect, because she just laughed patronizingly, shook her head,
and kept on going into the kitchen to put the flowers into a vase.
-oOOo-
I'd been put into the same nightie as the previous night, and was lying
on my bed pretending to read some of Emily's books, but I knew them all,
so it was all a little boring when I heard a car park out on the street.
I didn't think anything of it, because cars were coming and going in the
street all of the time. However a short time later the mother called for
me.
"Looks who's here," the mother said proudly when I entered the lounge
room, not even realizing that I was carrying one of Emily's dolls.
I looked over to see a young man sitting there smiling at me. He was
obviously the mother's boyfriend. 'Yeah? So?' I thought. 'What do you
want me to do? Dance a highland jig?'
"Hello Emmy," the man said, holding his arms out expecting me to give
him a hug. "How are you princess?"
"Well? Give Darryl a cuddle," the mother prompted.
"Hi," I said reluctantly, hugging him.
Darryl scooped me up like I weighed nothing, hugged me to him tightly
and then laid me across his lap and proceeded to tickle me.
Okay, so I will admit I laughed. I laughed like a maniac, but Emily's
skin was so sensitive that I almost wet myself. Luckily he finished
tickling me and sat me on his lap. "Sorry I missed your birthday,
honey."
I shrugged, still smiling from the tickling, despite myself.
"I wanted to be here," he continued, and I wondered if he was Emily's
father. "But I was working. I bought you a present though."
I looked at the large gift that he pulled out of a suitcase and quickly
unwrapped it. Surprise, surprise, it was another doll. Jeez, I really
need more of them. A cheap doll at that and I knew then that he wasn't
Emily's father. A divorced or separated father would spend big money for
his kid's birthday just to assuage his guilt. This guy was just boning
Emily's mother. My reasoning confirmed when I saw the label on his
suitcase. Darryl Murphy. Murphy was neither Emily's surname or the
mother's.
Still, Darryl made himself pretty much at home, and from the little bit
I heard before I was dispatched to bed so they could have a romantic
evening of sex, sex and more sex, I learnt he worked at the Moomba gas
field, and worked for a fortnight and then had a fortnight off, most of
which seemed to be spent with Emily's mother.
-oOOo-
The next day, Monday, my third day as Emily Bowers, I was reintroduced
to grade 2. The weather had come in cool, so the mother dressed me in a
little red jumper, a white skivvy, white tights and the same black Mary
Janes I had worn on my first day as Emily. To top off the little girl
look were the two pigtails that my hair had been put into. For some
reason Cindy Brady kept flashing through my mind whenever I looked into
a mirror
The schoolwork itself was boring because I could do it in my sleep. What
did surprise me was how segregated the school seemed to be and it was
self-segregation. The boys stayed with the boys and I, as a girl, was
relegated to playing with the girls, hop scotch, skipping, those silly
clapping games and a myriad of other equally inane stuff. It was
probably the same when I was at that age the first time, but when you
get to high school and all of your thoughts turn to trying to impress
the opposite sex the days when you worried about "boy germs" and "girl
germs" all seemed like a bad dream.
I was actually glad when the mother came and picked me up at the end of
the day and took me to Emily's house, and I was hoping to get out of the
tights as soon as I possibly could. They were hot and tended to droop,
causing me to go to the bathroom a lot of times just to pull them up.
Darryl had done a bit of work around the house and was half asleep on
the sofa, but I had to endure another cuddle session and spend 20
minutes sitting on his lap while he asked me about my day. What was I
supposed to say? 'Well I learnt how to read words of more than two
syllables and make clay pots that looked like something that Pablo
Picasso might make while on speed.'
More time was spent in front of the television until Darryl decided that
he would buy some take out junk food, and I got a McHappy Meal with a
toy that some poor Chinese kid had probably made for 20 cents a day. I
almost envied that Chinese kid, as long as it was a boy.
Sure enough, at 7 o'clock the mother told me it was time for bed, and I
went through my evening ablutions. Sleep came fast again as my little
frame was worn out from the day's activities, and the mother observed I
was running a little bit of a fever and had probably caught one of the
multitude of ailments that kids are exposed to. I'd been given a child's
aspirin and some foul tasting cough mixture that helped me fall into a
deep sleep. That's how it would have stayed until morning, until a small
crack of light appeared my bedroom door, waking me around 11 pm.
At first I thought it was the mother just checking on me as she did now
and then, but as the small crack of light grew wider, spilling a soft
yellow glow further and further across the room, I could see a
silhouette of a large man. Darryl stood there for a minute, I guess he
was trying to sense if I was awake or not, and then he entered the room.
I guess the mother was worn out from being on her back so much since
Darryl's return, and she'd asked him to check on little Emily. Then the
door closed behind him and I could hear footsteps as he walked across my
room in just the small amount of moonlight that filtered in through the
window. I had no idea what he wanted. Maybe the mother's birthday was
coming up and he wanted to tell me what he was getting her. Maybe he'd
been called back to work and was coming in to say goodbye, or maybe he
just wanted to check my temperature again to get into the mother's good
books.
A small night-light was turned on and he smiled down at me and sat on my
bed. "How are you feeling Emmy?" he asked as he placed his huge hand to
my little forehead.
"Okay," I shrugged. "Tired and a little hot."
"Would you like me to put the fan on sweetie?"
I shook my head. "I just want to sleep."
"Okay," he smiled. "Your mother is fast asleep. She's had some of her
tablets, and she's sleeping like a baby."
I never understood that line. Sleeping like a baby? What does that mean?
That they wake up every hour crying their tits off and they wet the bed?
"Okay," is all I said as I looked up at him.
He continued to look at me and I kind of got the impression he wanted to
say something but I really wasn't in the mood for a heart to heart.
Eventually he said, "Would you like to play a game?"
'Sure,' I thought. 'Let's play hide and seek. You go hide and I will
count to twenty million and then come and find you.' "What sort of
game?" I asked.
Before I knew what had happened he'd taken my hand in his and placed it
on something that was warm, hard and soft all at the same time. It took
me a few seconds to realise what it was. "Eeeew!" I said sounding every
inch the little girl as I pulled my hand back in disgust.
He took my hand again and more forcefully he put it back on the
disgusting smelling thing between his legs. "Go on, play with it."
Play with it? I don't even want it in the same room as me. I shook my
head.
"Play with it," Darryl snarled. "Play with it or I will hurt you."
I couldn't run because he was sitting on the bedclothes, which more or
less pinned me in place, and even if I could I already knew I wasn't
tall enough to open the door. "Mummy?" I said as loudly as I could
before his hand clamped hard around my mouth and nose, making it
impossible to breathe.
"Don't scream," he said angrily, and then changed his tone to sound a
little softer. "Promise me you won't scream?"
I was running out of air so I nodded just to get a breath in.
"Good girl," Darryl smiled. "It won't help anyway, your mummy's sound
asleep."
The warm lump of meat had got smaller as I held it and Darryl took my
hand off it and slipped it back into his jeans angrily. "Now look what
you did." He growled. "I'm going to bed. Remember, not a word about this
to anyone or I will hurt your mummy. Got it?"
He was a big man, and I had no doubt that he could do the mother major
damage, let alone what he could do to Emily's tiny frame. Hell, some of
the teddy bears in Emily's room could beat me in a fight at the moment.
Darryl continued. "Besides, we've done this before and your mummy will
believe me when I tell her you made me do it. You're a bad girl Emily."
I was stunned. Rooted to the spot. Incredibly I found myself nodding and
I didn't know if it was to keep him happy or because I believed it.
"Say it. Say I am a bad girl."
"I -- I am a bad girl," I said.
Without another word he got up, turned the night-light off and stormed
out of the room, leaving a thousand emotions flip flopping in my brain.
-oOOo-
At last I had a reason to enjoy school if only to escape the eagle eyes
of Darryl as he sat at the kitchen table the next morning. The mother
fussed around making breakfast for both of us, and Darryl himself,
despite his evil eyes, was acting totally normal to me. The problem is
that normal included a morning hug and kiss. The mother gave me a quick
look over and announced that my temperature had subsided enough for me
to go to school, so she ordered me into the bathroom and then started
running a bath.
Darryl popped his head around the corner. "Do you want me to give her a
bath this morning Lori?" he asked.
"Would you? I need to get dressed for work, and I will pick out
something for her to wear too."
"No sweat love." He smiled down at me. "Don't forget your coffee is
getting cold."
I tensed up as soon as she left the room, but if Darryl saw it he didn't
show it. "Okay missy mouse. Arms up."
"No!"
"Come one Emmy, honey, I just want to help you take your nightie off."
"No!" I snapped.
"Emily Jane, this morning is not a good time for one of your funny
moods."
Looking around I could see the bathroom door was still open and reasoned
that eve