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The 99 Laws Of TG free porn video
The 99 Laws of TG
(Or, My Excuse For Not Actually Having Any New Material)
By Tanto
1) The Laws of Quantum Reality favor TG. Of all
possible outcomes to a situation, most will result in
TG. Unknown containers, curious knick-knacks, and
strange devices will all cause TG. Odd stores
appearing, dispensing such items, and disappearing are
an example of quantum realities overlapping in order
to facilitate TG.
2) TG is highly contagious. There is never any
isolated TG.
3) All ancient cultures worshipped the female body and
knew how to induce TG.
4) 85% of magic practitioners specialize in TG.
5) At least one of any three wishes granted to any
person will involve TG.
6) Law of Wish Invariability: Any wish made anywhere
by anyone will inevitably be granted, unless it is to
reverse TG (See Law #1).
7) All wishes are granted in the most ironic way
possible.
8) Every group of women on the planet contains at
least one witch.
9) 77% of non-TG women are witches.
10) Any mistake made during a scientific or magical
procedure will cause TG.
11) Any mistake made in a process to induce femininity
causes more femininity, not less.
12) Any and every sensation possible is pleasurable
when emanating from the breasts. Women (especially
those who used to be men) purposely avoid watching the
ground ahead of them so that they can trip and fall on
their breasts, thus bringing themselves to orgasm.
13) Any procedure that would increase the femininity
of a women (i.e., by increasing the size of her
breasts) invariably turns men into women.
14) If someone believes a potential source of TG is
bogus, it will work. If someone believes a potential
source of TG is authentic, it will work on someone
else, while they aren't looking.
15) Evil and stupidity have a strong relationship to
TG. The bigger an asshole a man is, the more feminine
he becomes. Normal, everyday nice guys always become
normal, everyday girls-next-door.
16) Any group of women contains at least one lesbian.
17) All men eventually enjoy and appreciate TG, even
if they're being turned into women so they can be sold
into a slave ring.
18) There are no less than three ways to spell "come".
19) Fact: The average woman masturbates 637 times
daily. For men that have been the subject of TG, this
number is increased by 35%.
20) All men masturbate within an hour of being turned
into a woman.
21) Fact: Each day hundred of acres of rain forest are
cut down. This is a shame, because 95% of unknown
plant species cause TG.
22) 83% percent of nerds know how to induce TG.
23) 68% percent of men currently in existence are
nerds and the constant target of abuse from every
other human on the planet.
24) All nerds have memorized every law and theory of
science ever conceived by humans. Spanking new
scientific practices just being tested in top-secret
governmental laboratories have no doubt been mapped
out and improved upon by your local nerd. In the rare
event that a nerd has not heard of a scientific
process, he can pick it up in about three minutes,
tops.
25) 22% percent of men currently in existence are
nameless and have no defining characteristics
whatsoever.
26) 10% percent of men currently in existence are
actually supernatural, all-powerful beings who get off
on turning men into females.
27) There are no true female nerds. All females who
appear to be nerds are actually witches, or have been
the subject of TG.
28) First Law of Feminine Leadership: Any
large-breasted girl in a school must take
advanced-level courses in ring-leading, antisocial
behavior, and the public humiliation of
non-conformers. A girl found to have any level of
conflict resolution skills or tolerance of others will
be forced to transfer to a new school in the middle of
the year.
29) Any male turned into a large-breasted girl in a
school must endure daily humiliations by every
flat-chested girl in the school.
30) Second Law of Feminine Leadership: If a student is
transformed into a large-breasted girl, every popular
girl in the school is as flat as a board, and is
secretly jealous of the student. If a student is
transformed into a small-breasted girl (read: a C-cup
or less), every popular girl in the school has breasts
the size of pumpkins, which she flaunts in front of
the student at every opportunity. Students who have
been the subject of TG are invariably at odds with the
popular girls regardless.
31) First Law of Relocation Requirement: Any girl made
to transfer to a new school in the middle of the year
must first pass an advanced level course in witchcraft
and its uses as an implement of revenge. She must also
pass courses in alienation, and conspicuous
non-conformity. No girl may come to a new school and
simply vanish into the crowd.
32) Second Law of Relocation Requirement: Any male
made to transfer to a new school in the middle of the
year exudes an aura which is the social equivalent of
a bulls-eye. He will invariably become the target of a
TG scheme before the end of his first week.
33) Research scientists are the clumsiest and most
forgetful people on earth. Coincidentally, they're all
involved in TG schemes, directly or indirectly.
34) Law of Liquid Similarity: Most TG formulas are
utterly indistinguishable from milk or beer. Research
scientists store them in gallon and quart jugs or
six-packs and glass bottles and bring them home for
storage in the family refrigerator.
35) Law of Gastronomic Indifference: If food or drink
tastes funny a man will consume it regardless.
36) Uncontrollable arousal in the most intimate level
of romance that can possibly exist between two people.
37) Any group of women contains at least one slut.
This may or may not overlap with Laws #9 and #16.
38) DD-cup breasts are the size of cantaloupes.
39) All men spend their life waiting for TG to occur;
therefore, when it does, they are neither shocked nor
frightened, but rather immediately seize upon the
opportunity as an excuse to have the greatest sexual
experience of their lives.
40) No two women in a group may have the same hair
color, unless that color is blond.
41) Most women are blond. Black, Asian, Hispanic, and
Irish women are all natural blonds in most cases.
42) Law of Histamine Reaction: The most common
symptoms of an allergic reaction to a substance are
redness, irritation, difficulty breathing, and
spontaneous gender swaps.
43) While it is possible in certain rare circumstances
to reverse TG, it is not possible to do so once the
breasts have grown past a DD-cup, nor is it possible
or desirable to shrink the breasts past this point.
This is known as the DD-barrier.
44) It is never possible to reverse TG until the
subject of the change no longer wants to have the
change reversed. The body-swap machine is never
repaired until the victims have grown used to the
transformations and learned to love their new lives.
45) Having sex always cancels out any way to reverse
TG. Transformees are almost always warned of this, but
they get caught up in the moment and have sex anyway.
46) Only women are capable of exercising prudence and
judgment when making wishes. Males always make
carelessly worded wishes to the effect of "I wish I
had the body any women would die for", which can, of
course, be twisted to mean TG. Females occasionally
wish with common sense and forethought.
47) Genies actually only know how to change men into
women. Everything else is a fraud-that's why no genie
actually grants the true intent of a wish.
48) The first wish anyone makes is always either
related to TG, or is utterly frivolous.
49) All males, even incredibly macho, sexist, and
chauvinistic ones, have incredibly fragile psyches and
instantly turn into bimbos at the first hint of TG.
50) All chauvinistic males either end up undergoing
TG, or sleeping with a male who has undergone TG.
51) If anyone undergoes any change, the probability
that s/he and everyone else in the immediate vicinity
will undergo random, spontaneous transformations rises
exponentially.
52) TG creates spatial warps in a person's mouth and
torso so that s/he may accept any penis regardless of
how much collateral expansion it undergoes. A man
experiencing TG can easily accept a penis the size of
a nuclear submarine.
53) Copious, unexplained lactation/breast growth is
one of the most common side effects of TG. Indeed, it
is one of the most common problems affecting women
today. Lactating men who have undergone TG invariably
have breasts the size of basketballs.
54) The path between the vagina and the uterus in
unimpeded.
55) Breast milk is generated at no less than one
gallon per hour.
56) The numbers and letters in bra sizes are not
discrete quantities referring to torso and breast size
respectively, but rather both refer directly to breast
size. As one increases, so does the other. After 36D,
the next size is 44DD, and so on until 999ZZZ. Bras
are made for a single torso size that universally fits
all women.
57) 34DDD, 34EE, and 34F are all distinct,
increasingly larger cup sizes.
58) All men experiencing TG are perfect models of
feminine beauty.
59) Science interests seldom clean up chemical spills
or abandoned research facilities. 83% of chemicals
left in such places will cause TG.
60) The average breast is adorned with nipples roughly
the size of women's thumbs. Cantaloupe-sized DD-cups
have nipples the size of soup cans.
61) The average woman is capable of producing no less
than 10 gallons of breast milk, and 2 gallons of
vaginal lubrication without stopping to drink.
Incidentally, the average man produces at least one
quart of sperm with each orgasm.
62) Any device that could potentially cause TG will
malfunction and do so (see Law #1).
63) Humans exert incredibly magnetic force. Ray guns
allowed even brief periods of free movement will
immediately swing to aim towards the nearest male.
Objects as light as syringes will almost hurtle
through the air to meet any man in their immediate
vicinity.
64) Any man will invariably fumble while holding a
syringe that could cause TG and jab himself, even if
he's handled hundreds in the previous hour without
incident.
65) Any sort of radical new lifesaving process
involves TG. If a doctor decides that a male should
undergo a brain transplant, there will never be any
available male bodies.
66) Most men, after undergoing TG, would gladly trade
their intelligence for larger breasts.
67) Any scientific process that would cause TG should
it misfire never has a failsafe. If it does, it
doesn't work.
68) The leader of any group of men undergoing TG will
inevitably receive the most and purest feminization.
69) Any spell being held in reserve as a
countermeasure against TG will inevitably be forgotten
or bungled. See Laws #44, #45, and #67.
70) All handheld objects capable of causing TG exude
fields which prevent any but the most tenuous of
grasps by people who hold them. As such they are
snatched away quite easily.
71) It is remarkably easy for a man to miss the fact
that he is undergoing TG. Most men who incur
unexpected TG will not notice that anything has
happened until their penis is completely gone or
they've received confirmation from a doctor, whichever
comes first.
72) If a man is asleep when he undergoes TG, it is
impossible to wake him until he is completely
transformed.
73) Breast size is the universal standard by which a
woman's beauty and desirability may be measured, hence
the woman with the largest breasts is automatically
the most attractive. Men will always choose a woman
with large breasts over a woman who possesses smaller
breasts, regardless of other qualities she might have.
(I.e. personality, common interests or history, lack
of a temperament based on all-consuming evil, etc...)
74) No man who will undergo TG may have sex until he
has done so. Corollary: He may have sex if and only if
it is necessary to facilitate the TG. This is yet
another application of Law #1.
75) Any man who is even slightly unhappy for any
reason has secretly sought TG his entire life. He
agrees that TG is the only solution, and immediately
seeks TG. He will invariably become depressed until he
finds TG, at which point he will become so ecstatic
it's embarrassing to listen to him.
76) Being a female has no drawbacks.
77) Females live in a constant state of euphoric high,
the only reasons being that they're female, have
breasts, and can have multiple orgasms.
78) If a man secretly longs for TG, all the women
close to him are supermodels so as to further his
suffering.
79) Mass is generated or eliminated as is convenient.
The excess mass released from turning a 6'7"
linebacker into a 4'11" sex goddess simply disappears.
80) The barriers preventing people from altering
reality with small electronic devices such as TV
remotes, home computers, and jury-rigged ray guns are
minute at most, and quite easily surmountable.
81) The most common results of a lightning strike are:
the direct altering of reality, magical powers, or
technological omnipotence.
82) Breast tissue by nature has exactly the same
texture as Jell-O.
83) Any substance used for anything other than its
intended purpose (and not uncommonly even then) causes
TG.
84) If a shampoo or deodorant has "Just for Women" on
the label, it invariably induces TG on any male users.
85) TG, while inevitably pleasurable, is also the
world's most popular method of revenge.
86) All pills look exactly alike and cannot be
differentiated in any way. No one will ever notice one
pill having been switched with another.
87) Women's erect nipples are the hardest objects
known to human science. The next hardest are men's
erect penises with diamonds following up at a distant
third.
88) If a man is transformed into a female, it may very
well go unnoticed by other people in the immediate
vicinity.
89) If a man is agonistic towards another man, he will
invariably become that man's love slave.
90) If a man is antagonistic towards a woman due to
her breasts being either notably small or large, it
will result in his being transformed into a woman with
enormous breasts. If the woman is a lesbian, he will
become her sex slave; if she is straight, he will
become a nymphomaniac. In most cases, the woman will
be conveniently bisexual.
91) Any group of woman contains at least one tomboy.
This tomboy is usually also the witch.
92) Any group of both men and women will contain men
and women of at least two of these three archetypal
pairings: a jock/a tomboy; a geek/a witch; a generic
man with no defining characteristics/a blonde.
93) If a substance or object is capable of causing TG,
the rashness of decisions of any man in its immediate
area concerning it will be increased by a factor of
10. Men will mockingly take huge doses of pills and/or
wish for assorted foolishnesses such as "breasts I can
play with any time I want" and "the body every woman
desires".
94) All governments wish to see each and every one of
its citizens to be a brainless, cock-sucking bimbo who
will have sex with you if you look at her funny. This
is why they are coming up with a new plot involving TG
every month. These plans are usually not very well
thought out and extremely short-sighted, and thus are
inevitably derailed by a small group of people, but
not before one of them undergoes TG.
95) Men are never transformed into ugly women. In the
rare cases that they are, it's only temporary.
96) All victims of TG end up sleeping with either
their best friend, their worst enemy, or a total
stranger.
97) All males are susceptible to blackmail, and
someone always uses TG as a form of blackmail.
98) No one ever suspects deceit in deals, bets, or
dares involving TG. Males will instinctively trust
anyone who changes them into a female with their
consent, even if the evidence suggests they plan to go
back on the deal. This usually results in the TG being
permanent and the victim becoming a sex slave and
loving it.
99) All aliens are single-sexed, and whenever they
capture a male they must "correct him" by changing him
into a female.
Angelica
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