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The Bet By Susan Fraser CHAPTER 1 It had been the strangest day of my life! I had woken up at 7.30 and after having a quick cup of coffee, during which time I had time to collect my thoughts, I had started on the things I had to do. I had many things to do on what was going to be a very important day in my life. Amy, John's girlfriend, came around at 8 o'clock to help me. She had been fantastic ever since this whole business started and had helped me with many of the things that I had needed to know. Without her help I would have had real problems coming to terms with my new life. The first thing she did was to collect all my old clothes, everything, all my footwear, ties, socks, etc. These she bundled up in plastic bin bags to take to Oxfam for me. When she had finished the only thing I had left was what I was wearing, a towelling dressing gown. Underneath I was completely naked as the day I was born. Well not quite as the day I was born. "I have put all you new clothes away for you," said Amy, "except what you will be wearing tonight." While Amy was busy with my clothes I took a long hot bath. On Amy's advice I had put some body lotion in the water first and when I stepped out of the bath to dry myself my skin felt wonderfully soft and fragrant. When I was dry, I slipped my dressing gown on and returned to the bedroom where Amy was waiting for me. I sat in front of the dressing table while Amy cut and coloured my hair Auburn. My hair had grown almost shoulder length in the past few months and Amy now styled it into a "bob." When it was dry she then began putting in "barrel" curls by wrapping the hair around her fingers and wetting it with setting lotion. While she waited for my hair to dry she turned her attention to my eyebrows. Theses she plucked until she was satisfied that she had achieved the right shape for my face. Amy was a qualified beautician and hairdresser and I was glad of this. I would never have had the nerve to go to a proper salon, at least not yet. As she finished plucking my eyebrows she smiled down at me, "Your face is really smooth now, no trace at all of any beard." I knew what she meant. I had lost so much hair over the last few months, my face, arms and chest were now smooth and soft and my legs had been shaved only the night before and were now as smooth as Amy's. After checking my hair was drying, Amy set to work on my fingernails. These she manicured and buffed and, because they were still a bit short, she added artificial nail tips. Amy filed these until they looked as if they were part of my real nails and then she began to paint them with red nail polish. While they were drying she also manicured my toenails and painted these for me. When my hair was completely dry Amy brushed through my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror and was pleasantly surprised at how pretty I already looked with my new eyebrows and my hair styled into a "bob." My hair framed my face nicely and made me look really feminine. "I know I have shown you how to put your own make up on, but seeing as how this is such a special occasion I will do it for you." Amy said. I was somewhat relieved, as I was so excited that my hands would have been shaking and I did not what to do some thing stupid like having my face look a mess. Amy proceeded to apply foundation to my face and neck and then face powder. She took a soft brush and began to put some light blue eye shadow on my eye sockets followed by a darker blue on the eyelids. When she was satisfied with the result she used liquid eyeliner to paint around my eyes. Next she brushed and coloured my eyebrows before telling me to close my eyes as she applied mascara to my eyelashes. Amy said that my eyelashes were long enough not to have to wear false ones. The finishing touch was to line and then apply lipstick to my lips. The colour she used matched the red of my fingernails. "You can look now." Amy said. and I turned to look at myself in the mirror. With my face fully made up and with my new hairstyle I looked and felt beautiful. I smiled at Amy and said quietly, "Is that really me?" "Yes Dea.r" Amy replied, "That really is the new you. I think the others will be very surprised don't you?" I felt sure that they would, that is if they even recognised me. "And now all you need to do is to get dressed." said Amy. I stood up from the chair. I was a little shy of removing my dressing gown, even in front of Amy, after all the only people to have seen my body naked in the last few months had been the staff at the clinic. With a deep breath I took of the dressing gown and stood before Amy naked. She looked at my body and smiled, "Don't worry, you have developed a really nice figure and your breasts have come on very well indeed. You had best start by putting this on." Amy took the dressing gown from me and handed me a black lacy bra. She told me to put my arms through the straps and watched as I gingerly eased the cups over my breasts. I put my hands behind my back and with only a little difficulty fastened the hooks at the back. Amy then adjusted the straps for me and grinning asked how it felt. I was surprised at how much more comfortable I felt wearing a bra and said so. For the last few months as my breasts had begun to develop I had found it increasingly uncomfortable. The bra was under-wired and supported my breasts so that they appeared even more ample. My nipples, which had increased in size as my breasts had developed, did not rub against the bra in the way that they had against my shirts. All in all wearing the bra felt really good. The next item of clothing Amy gave me to put on was a suspender belt. This was also in black lace to match the bra and as I fastened it around my waist I realised for the first time how slim my waist had become and how much wider my hips and how much more rounder my bottom now were. "I think you had best wear a G-string for now." said Amy and I took this from her and put it on. I knew what she meant and it did indeed help to hide the embarrassing little bulge between my legs. Next she handed me a pair of sheer black stockings and sitting on the chair I slid them up my smooth legs and with a little difficulty fastened them to my suspenders. Amy them passed me a pair of black silk panties, which I wriggled into. She smiled at me and told me to look in the mirror. I did so as Amy said. "You do make a very pretty girl, you know." I gazed at my reflection and had to agree that the image before me was that of a girl and a pretty one at that. To think that only months before such a sight of a girl clad in bra and panties would have aroused me. Now all I could feel was pleasure that it was me standing there wearing stockings and suspenders. After a little while Amy handed me a black silk full-length slip, which I put on. The feel of the cool silk next to my soft skin was delightful as it hugged my body. Then I put on the dress, which was of black chiffon. It had puff sleeves and an elasticated waist. The hem and the low neckline were trimmed with gold braid. Around my waist I fastened a wide gold belt that Amy gave me. Finally I put on the shoes. These were black suede with ankle straps and a 4 inch heel. I glanced at my legs. They looked very shapely indeed. "You do look very nice, dear." said Amy, "But I think you need these to finish you off." Amy handed me a gold cross and chain, a gold bracelet and a pair of gold clip on earrings. I put them on and they did indeed add the finishing touch. "Tomorrow I will take you to have your ears pierced. You will be able to wear much nicer earrings then." smiled Amy. "Now let's have a proper look at you, twirl around." she said. I twirled around in front of her feeling very feminine in my new clothes and hairstyle. Amy nodded her approval and said. "Very nice, now all you need is a suitable name. After all a pretty girl needs a pretty name. Let me think." she added then exclaimed, "I think you look like a Susan, so from now on you are Susan, okay?" I thought for a moment, Susan sounded fine to me, it was feminine and I did feel oh so feminine. "Susan I am then." I said. "Well I am pleased to meet you Susan." said Amy and I nodded in reply. Now that I was fully dressed and at last had been named, Amy and I sat in the living room and had a cup of coffee. In no time at all I found myself responding to my new name and realised that Amy was talking to me as she would to any girl. I felt a warm glow all over my body at this thought. The plan for the rest of the afternoon was for Amy to take me shopping. It would be my first time out dressed as a girl and she said it would help to relax me when I saw how readily other people would accept me as a woman. "As far as I am concerned Susan, you are every bit a woman as I am now. I cannot think of you as anything else any more, you are far too pretty." Amy's words were very comforting and pleasing to me. I knew that I did look very feminine but could not help feeling nervous at the idea of going out dressed as a girl. In the past few months, as my body had begun to change and my breasts develop, I had increasingly been "mistaken" for a woman. On those occasions I had been wearing unisex clothing like a tracksuit but this would be the first time that I would be going out dressed entirely in women's clothing, with my hair done and my face made up. "Before we go out, Susan," said Amy, "there is just one last thing you need." As she spoke she handed me a parcel wrapped in pretty gift paper. I unwrapped it, taking great care not to break my new long nails, and found it was a handbag! I smiled at Amy and thanked her. Of course as a girl I would need a handbag. I opened it and found a purse already inside. I had not even thought about carrying things like money and keys and such like especially wearing a dress with no pockets at all. Amy helped me to sort out all the things I would need to carry in my handbag. These were: a compact, in case I needed to powder my nose, a lipstick, hairbrush, nail file, tissues, my door keys, purse and a small bottle of perfume. I had not realised how many things a girl needs to carry with her! It was nearly time for us to go out and I still felt nervous. I told Amy so but she just laughed. "You really do look just right Susan. No one will ever suspect." "But what about my voice?" I asked, "Surely it still sounds like a man's?" "Nonsense." said Amy, "You have been taking the medicine the clinic gave you for over a month and your voice is every bit as feminine as the rest of you. Look I can prove it to you, have you got a tape recorder?" I did have a tape recorder and handed it to Amy. She made me recite, "Mary had a little lamb" to her and when she played it back I was amazed at how my voice had altered. The pitch was now definitely female and I had to agree with Amy that I now had as nice a girl's voice as I could have wished. "Right." said Amy, "It is time to go. Come on Susan get your coat and handbag and let's go to town." I picked up my coat, which of course was also new, and put it on. The coat was white and came down to just above my ankles. As I fiddled with the buttons to fasten the coat I realised that I would have to get used to fastening things the "other" way around now. I swung my bag onto my shoulder and looked at myself in the mirror once more. I looked and felt very feminine and was suddenly full of confidence. As I followed Amy out of the front door and turned the key in the lock I could just about hear the click as the video cameras, which had been recording all my movements and action since I woke that morning, switch off. Still feeling a little bit nervous I followed Amy to her car. Of course I had practised walking in high heels in the past few months and had tried on women's clothes at home, but this time I was actually going out fully dressed as a girl and if everything went alright I would never again dress as a man. I could feel the light breeze around my legs and beneath the skirt of my dress. It was a wonderful feeling, far better than I had thought possible. I loved the way my heels click-clicked on the pavement. As we got to Amy's car she turned to me and whispered, "Now Susan, just get into the car the way you practised. You look fine, dear." she added. I opened the car door and got in the way Amy had shown me. I lowered my bottom onto the seat and, keeping my legs together, I swung them into the car. Amy watched me and smiled, "Very good, Susan, very ladylike indeed." She then got into the car and started the engine. As we drove off towards the town I snuggled into the seat. I was really out in public now as a girl and there would be no turning back. The gentle draught from the car's heater was blowing up my legs and I was enjoying the feel of the warm air around the tops of my stockings and through my panties. I began thinking over all that had happened to me in the past seven months. CHAPTER 2 It had been exactly six months and three days before that I had been out for the evening with several friends. We met up regularly for a pint and we had all known each other for many years. We all worked in different occupations, I was a Management Consultant with my own small firm, and amongst us were a Doctor, a Writer and an Engineer. I was the only one who was either single or did not have a partner at the time. This fact was to be very important in what followed. As was usual we argued over almost everything, sport, politics and of course women and sex. On this night we got into an argument over why men and women acted so differently. John, who was the writer, argued that it was all to do with Hormones. This was contested by Steve who felt that it was as much to do with conditioning from birth. I sided with John and said that if a man was given female hormones he would eventually begin to think and act like a girl. The others laughed, all but John that was. As we were leaving the Pub John offered to run me home. In the car he put forward a bizarre idea. This was that if he could persuade some one, a man, to take female hormones for a period of time, he could monitor the effect it had. "It would make a tremendous book." he said and sounded very serious about it. I asked him how he could persuade a man to do this and John's answer was that there could be a great deal of money in it for whoever did it and besides it would only for a short time and once the man stopped taking the hormones everything would return to normal. "You could do it," said John. "You're single and you can take a long holiday any time you want from your business. Beside it would prove our point to Steve." At first I rejected the idea but John kept pleading that I give it a go. Without realizing the implications I found myself giving in and agreeing to his daft idea. John said he would make some enquiries the following day and fix me up with a course of tablets. And very simply that is how all this started. Two days later John came round to see me. He brought with him a course of Hormone tablets. I would have to take one a day for the next six months. John's idea was that he would regularly interview me to see how my "personality" changed as the Hormones began to take affect. John also explained that I would probably experience some physical side effects but that these would be reversed when I stopped taking the tablets. Because he sounded so sure of this I agreed to take the tablets. For the first two weeks that I took the tablets I did not feel any different nor notice any side affects. However when I had been taking the tablets for over three weeks I began to notice that my skin felt softer. I mentioned this to John when he was doing his usual check up on me and he said that he had noticed that my face looked younger, more boyish. Over the next few weeks my skin became even softer until even I knew that it looked and felt more like that of a woman's. The hairs on my arms and legs felt finer and when I shaved my beard was less and less noticeable. By the end of two months I had the complexion of a young boy or young girl. Even so I did not feel any less masculine, not that is until John asked me if I still got aroused. I realised that it had been over a month since I had had an erection. After three months I noticed more changes to my body. Though I should have been alarmed by them I was also fascinated at how they would turn out. The first thing I noticed was that my hips and bottom seemed to be getting bigger. My trousers still fitted around my waist but were getting tighter around my hips. If any thing I had even lost weight around my waistline. The other changes were even more startling. I found that my shirts or sweaters had begun to chafe against my nipples and when I looked at myself closely in the mirror I discovered that my breasts had started to swell. I used a cream hair remover on my chest and found that if I applied moisturiser cream across my developing breasts the irritation was less. As the shape of my body changed I found it was harder to fit into many of the clothes I had. I started to wear tracksuits and these at least helped me to conceal my developing breasts. I had known John's girlfriend Amy for some years and had always got on well with her. She of course knew of John's intention to write a book based on my taking the hormone treatment. The fact that she did know meant that I was able to ask her advice on how to cope with my body's changes. Amy proved to be very helpful to me and our relationship became even friendlier. It was nice to be able to talk to her about things, which I suppose. A girl would normally have been able to ask her mother. John kept making regular notes of how the hormones were affecting me. He too was amazed at how noticeable the physical changes were becoming and asked me how I felt emotionally. I replied that in many ways I had never felt so relaxed and at peace with myself. John said that he had noticed this too and thought that perhaps I was changing mentally too. John said that he believed that we had proved our point and that I could stop taking the hormones when I wanted to. For some reason I found this idea upsetting. He must have noticed this and said. "Unless of course you want to carry the experiment on a stage further." I asked what he meant and John replied that his book would be an even greater success, if I was to let the hormones really take full affect and even live for some months as a woman. The story of my "transformation" from man to woman would be most interesting he said. It did not take much to persuade me to go on with the experiment. I did not tell John that I was finding it harder to think about returning to being a man. Amy would help me, he said. to learn how to dress and to wear make-up and all the other things I would need to know if I was to spend some time as a girl. There were of course many things I needed to do before I could try living as a woman. I first of all had to arrange to be away from business for an indefinite period. As I was my own boss this was quite easy to arrange. In many ways it was a relief not to have to go to work as I was finding very difficult to wear any of my suits. The next thing was to start attending a proper clinic were my hormone treatment could be controlled properly. John said he could arrange this for me. John was as good as his word and two days later I attended the clinic for the first time. I was first of all interviewed by a Doctor to ascertain my reasons for taking the hormone treatment. I did not tell him the real reason of course. Then I was given a full physical examination and a physiological examination. When the Doctor called me back in to discuss the results he told me some thing, which was to completely alter my future. First of all he told me that I fitted the physiological profile for gender reassignment, as they called it, and that the hormones I had been taking had already resulted in irreversible changes to my body. This latter piece of information would have alarmed me months before but now I accepted the news quite calmly. It appeared that the dosage had been too high and that as a result my penis had begun to atrophy and that even if I was to stop taking the hormones I could never again have an erection. My testes could no longer produce sperm. The fact that he considered me to fit the physiological conditions surprised me at first but as we discussed my thought processes it became clear to me that I had indeed began to think more femininely. It appeared that the tablets I had been taking contained the female hormone oestrogen. I had been taking them for so long now that my body was no longer producing male hormones. The result was that every aspect of my sexual identity was being changed and being changed irrevocably to female! I had begun to feel and even think like a female and I even found that my moods and emotions were fluctuating as if my body was responding to its own menstrual cycle. I knew then that if I wanted to have a full sex life again it would have to be as a woman, not a man. I would have to fully complete the transformation from man to woman. Arrangements were made for me to attend the clinic fortnightly for them to check my progress. In the mean time it was suggested that I spend the next month or so learning more about what living as a woman would involve before actually doing so. I could also allow my hair to grow longer ready for the next step. I did not tell Amy or John what the clinic had said to me. Over the next two months Amy taught me about using make-up and all about women's fashions. We spent many hours looking through catalogues and choosing the clothes I should eventually wear. I took to wearing tracksuits nearly all the time and as my hair grew longer and longer I started to tie it back in a ponytail. I was out walking in the park one day when I accidentally bumped into a man coming in the opposite direction. To my surprise he apologised and said. "Excuse me Miss?" This was the first time that I had been "mistaken" for a woman and it sent a thrill down my spine. In the weeks that followed I tried even harder to make myself look as feminine as I could before going out and even started to wear tracksuits designed for women rather than men. The tracksuit bottoms helped hide the fact that I had more between my legs than is usual for a woman. I now had a very feminine figure and found I had little difficulty in being taken for a woman. The clinic continued to monitor my progress and John kept up his diary on me. Amy helped me to learn how to walk like a girl, especially in high-heeled shoes. As the weeks went on I found that I had to tell Amy the whole story, that I intended to go all the way and become a woman as fully as was possible. I would need Amy's help and guidance. In addition it was also a relief to be able to confide in someone else. I asked her not to tell John about my decision and she agreed. John was going to get an even bigger story than he had ever imagined. Now that Amy knew of my intentions she proved herself to be a real friend indeed. She made me learn all those little female mannerisms I needed to know about if I was to become really feminine. Amy also started to tell me what I would need to know about men. Although I had decided to become a woman I had not considered what this change was going to mean in my relationships with other women and men. It was quite a shock when Amy pointed out to me that I would have to get used to the idea of men being the opposite sex. To illustrate her point Amy hired a "blue" video and made me watch it with her. As I watched the sexual act being performed Amy made me realise that I had to get used to the idea that I would be the one being fucked if I did indeed become a girl. Even if I did not I would not be able to make love to a woman again. As realisation sunk in I found that rather than being perturbed by the idea I actually felt a pleasant tingle run down my spine. Soon the time came when on my visit to the clinic I was told that the time had come for me to start to live completely as a girl. It was with a sense of excitement that I told Amy my news and that I had decided that it was time to tell John the truth. When I told John of my decision he was struck dumb. I pointed out that the hormone treatment had already caused changes that could not be reversed and that the only way I could possibly lead a full life was to become a woman. I explained to both Amy and John that after living as a girl for several months I would undergo surgery to "convert" my male genitalia into the female equivalent. I also said that he was welcome to write his book based on all my experiences. After John had recovered from the shock he admitted that the changes he had seen in me had made him wonder, I now seemed so feminine to him. It was decided that Amy would help me chose a complete new wardrobe of female clothes and that I would begin living as a girl just as soon as the clothes could be obtained. I told John that I intended to sell my business and use the money to set myself up in a new business more in keeping with being a woman. Amy helped me chose my new clothes from a "Next" catalogue and these were to be delivered the following day. She would come to my house and help me to transform myself into a girl, she would style my hair and accompany me on my first outing dressed as a woman. John had now got used to the idea that I was to become a woman and asked if he might set up a video camera to record all the details of my change and I agreed. CHAPTER 3 So here I was, sitting in the passenger seat of Amy's car, looking and feeling like a beautiful girl. I was about to face the outside world for the first time dressed from head to toe as a woman. I would have to react as a girl and get used to being thought of as a girl. All these thoughts sent a tingle through my body. Amy drove us into the main shopping centre and parked the car in the multi-storey car park. "Are you ready Susan?" she asked me, and I nodded. I got out of the car and waited for Amy. There was a slight breeze blowing through the car park and I could feel it lifting the hem of my dress. This made me even more conscious of the fact that I was dressed as a girl. I followed Amy as we walked out of the car park. My heels made click-click sounds on the concrete floor and made me feel feminine. Passing in front of a shop window I could the refection of Amy and myself, we looked just like any other pair of pretty girls out on a shopping spree. It did not take me long to realise that men who passed us usually gave us a second look. Amy perhaps sensed that I felt self-conscious and turned to me and grinned, "Relax Susan, Relax, they are just looking because you are so pretty. You will soon get used to their lustful glances." I smiled and tried to relax. I knew that I did indeed look very feminine and that it was most unlikely that any body would guess my secret, but I had not expected men to pay me so much attention. We walked for a while looking in the shop windows before Amy suggested that we go into Marks and Spencer's to have a look at the clothes. I soon found myself wandering between the racks of dresses and lingerie discussing with Amy what would suit me or her. It was quite a unique experience looking at dresses, underskirts and pretty frilly panties and realising that I was choosing ones that I could now wear myself. Amy was very helpful to me and told me how some of the garments would feel to wear. For example she told me just how warm certain denier Tights or Stockings would be and how soft they would feel. She explained again about skirt lengths and what sort of underskirt best suited what sort of skirt or dress. Although Amy had purchased me quite a full wardrobe of clothes she said I should still buy more. After all, she said. a girl can never have enough clothes as unlike a man a girl is expected to wear something different every day. Besides it would be nice for me to choose a full outfit for myself. By full outfit Amy meant Shoes, Lingerie and accessories such as jewellery and a bag. We looked again at the skirts in M&S and I found a lovely long skirt in patterned voile. It was a mixture of pinks and grey and Amy said that she had seen a pretty silk blouse that would go with it. The blouse was very pretty, lovely soft silk with three quarter length sleeves and a frilly trim around the neckline. "Try them on first." suggested Amy to my surprise. I whispered that I would feel self conscious about using the Ladies fitting rooms but Amy just laughed. "You have nothing to worry about, Susan. You really do look so feminine no one will ever know any different. Stripped down to your slip all you will do is to make them jealous of your beautiful figure." grinned Amy as she led me to the Fitting rooms. I queued with the other women waiting to use the Fitting rooms, my heart thumping as my turn got closer and closer. Then the sales assistant was handing me the token and I found myself in the cubicle and removing my dress. Quickly I put the skirt and blouse on and looked at myself in the mirror. The skirt felt wonderful and made me feel very girlish indeed. The blouse too was a perfect fit and if any thing it emphasised the ampleness of my bosom. I changed back into my dress and put my coat back on. Amy could tell from the grin on my face that I was happy with my choice of skirt and blouse. Amy took me by the arm and said. "Now you want some sexy underwear to match." We returned to the Lingerie section and I ended up choosing a pretty silk "Teddy", which had frills on the shoulder straps and around the legs. Next I picked a pair of white 7 denier tights and then Amy and I went to have a look at the shoes. I ended up picking a pair of pink satin sling backs with a 3 inch heel. The final item was a matching pink satin shoulder bag, which Amy insisted on paying for. I left the shop with the first full outfit of women's clothes that I had ever bought and I know understood the enjoyment of buying clothes to look pretty in rather than simply to wear. Amy and I then went to a cafe and had a cup of coffee. I found myself chatting girlishly with Amy, in just the way any 2 girls would out on a shopping spree. "It is funny, Amy." I said. "But I never realised that a girl bought sexy clothes because she felt good in them. I always thought it was so as to please men." Amy laughed, "Well we do dress to please men as well, you find that out in due course. But it does make you feel good to wear sexy lingerie, do you not agree?" I nodded, Months before the idea of suspenders and frilly panties would have given me a hard on but now, full of female hormones, the same items appealed because of their softness and the way they emphasised the femininity of my body. Amy then asked if I had thought about men now that I was all but a complete woman. I had to admit that I had not really thought about how I would interact with a man. After all I had started this change believing it to be only temporary. Now I had committed myself to going all the way with the change to womanhood I would have to start to think of men as the "opposite" sex. I had asked Amy how it felt to have a man make love to her. She giggled and touched my hand. "It is much nicer for the woman than the man, you know, Susan." she replied. "A girl's orgasm lasts much, much longer for a start and you can lie back and enjoy it while they do all the hard work." The thought of me lying back with my legs apart while a man did to me what I had used to do to a girl made me tingle, partly with fear at having my body penetrated and yet with a sense of excitement too that soon I might willingly allow it to happen. We finished our coffee and looked around some more of the shops. Amy gave a guided tour of the cosmetic counters and I bought some nail varnish and a manicure set. Amy then suggested that I have the girl on the Estee Lauder counter to recommend what types of foundation and face powder suited me best and I ended up buying my first compact and lipstick. Becoming a girl was a very expensive business indeed. It was while wandering around the shops that I was to have yet another "first" as a girl. I had to go for a wee! It was with a little anxiety that I followed Amy into the ladies toilet but I need not have worried, none of the other women there gave me a second glance and I even felt composed enough to put on some fresh lipstick after I had washed my hands. When we got outside Amy grinned at me and told me that I had acted just like any girl. Soon it was time for Amy and I to leave the shops and meet the others in the wine bar. John, Steve and his wife Carol would there and the idea was for Amy to say that she had met me, an old school friend and that she had asked me to come to the wine bar with her. John would of course know who I was, although he had never seen me as a girl before. Steve and Carol would not know. I was nervous at the idea of meeting them. The thought that Steve or Carol might recognise me terrified me. Even meeting John would be difficult. How would he act towards me? We returned to Amy's car and she drove to the wine bar. She told me that I had nothing to worry about. She said that she could only see me as a girl now even though earlier that morning she had helped me to get transformed. "Even John meeting you like that will just treat you like a girl." she said and added that Steve and Carol would never guess my secret. Amy parked the car outside the wine bar and after I had checked that my make up looked alright I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I followed Amy as she led the way into the bar. John and the others were already there and John looked up as we entered. He kissed Amy on the cheek as she introduced me as her friend, Susan. Steve and his wife nodded Hello but John actually kissed me on the cheek too! I believe I actually blushed. While John went and got Amy and myself a glass of wine, Carol began talking to Amy and I, asking had we enjoyed our shopping spree. I could tell from Carol's reaction towards me that she had not guessed who I was and soon found that although I had known her for several years, she was actually talking to me like a stranger. Steve acted differently too. It was if he was flirting with me and then I realised that this was the way he always talked to a girl that he had just met. The evening went off very successfully and by the time that Steve and Carol left I knew that I had been completely accepted by them as Susan. I felt relaxed and enjoyed myself. After Steve and his wife left John turned to me and just grinned, "It is just incredible, Susan. I look at you and all I see is a pretty girl." I had already felt that John had accepted my new gender as he spoke to me differently some how. He kept looking at my bosom and my legs when I sat and crossed them. I could sense that I was really turning him on and this was one of the few people who knew my secret. John drove me home in Amy's car and they both came in for coffee. John took the videotape of my "transformation" earlier that morning. He said he would erase the tape after he had made some notes from it for his book. I promised to keep up the diary I was writing chronicling my change. Amy and John then kissed me Goodnight and left me go to bed for the first time as a woman. And then I was alone. Alone for the first time as a girl and I knew that this was now the start of the rest of my life. Over the next few months I would get more and more settled to living as a girl and then I would have the surgery that would turn me into a complete woman. I suddenly realised that I was impatient for that day to come. I removed my make up and got undressed. Slipping on a long white silk nightdress and negligee I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and lay on my bed musing about how my life would be as Susan. Chapter 4 I woke the next morning to the feel of my soft silk nightdress on my smooth skin and instantly experienced the feeling of sheer contentment. I lay there watching my breasts rise and fall beneath the frilly neckline and felt pleased that my breasts had developed so nicely. After a few minutes enjoying the feeling of being a girl I got out of bed and put on my negligee and slippers. I looked at myself in the mirror and marvelled at how feminine I looked. Then I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee which I drank while I made my plans for the day. The clinic had given me a pack containing all the forms and documents I needed to fill in and send to the various official bodies to inform them that I intended to live as a female. Amy had "christened" me Susan, and I had already come to accept this as my name. I filled in the several forms, using my male name for the very last time and requesting that in future I was to be known as Miss Susan Fraser. Once I had posted them I would officially become Susan and things like my driving licence would be amended. When I had finished filling in all the forms I washed and put on my make up and brushed my hair the way Amy had told me. The result was very pleasing and filled me with confidence that my transformation would be total. Next I got dressed. I looked through the wardrobe at all the clothes that Amy had bought me and decided to wear a pink and white patterned skirt and pink silk blouse. Underneath I wore a pair of Dior tights in "burnt coffee" and a pink body shaper and underskirt. On my feet I slipped on a pair of black patent leather shoes with a 3 inch heel. Once dressed I looked and felt very pretty. Slipping the envelopes into my handbag I put on a short white jacket and went out. It felt odd walking down the same road that I had walked down so often in the past, dressed for the first time as a girl. I walked as demurely as I had been taught at the clinic and listened to the clicking of my heels on the pavement. I was in seventh heaven! I became aware that I was being looked at and found that it was some men working on a building site. From their wolf whistles I knew that they could only see a pretty girl when they looked at me. With out realising it at first, I felt pleased at their reaction and walked even more sensually. Reaching the Post box I opened my handbag and posted the letters that would make me officially Susan. I felt a tingle run down my back at the thought that I had now told the "Establishment" of my intentions. I turned from the Post box and walked towards the little group of shops nearby. I had used these often in the past and hoping that no one recognised me I entered the Newsagents to buy a paper. Mr Ogden, whom I had spoken to for years looked at me and smiled, "Can I help you, Miss?" I asked for the Newspaper and as he took my money he smiled again and made some remark about the weather. His reaction to me was so different to before, he was actually responding to me as Susan and I began to understand more about the way men talk to women as opposed to other men. When I went into the Chemists to buy some make up cleanser I also discovered that women talking to other women was different to the way that they talked to men. Walking back from the shops I made a point of going near to the building site again. I wanted to be whistled after! When I arrived home, I ate some cereal, I had been very careful about my diet for some months now, after all I now had to watch my figure. I fully intended to be as slim as I could be as a girl. I now had to sit down and think through my plans for my new life. Of course I would not be a complete woman until after my surgery but even so there was little that I could not do as a girl as I was. I intended to do as much as I could as a girl. For a start I was going to enrol at an Aerobics class. I needed to exercise like any other girl if I was to keep a good figure. Also it helped me to meet other girls and I could learn from them. I also had enrolled myself for a Training course doing Secretarial work. This was not because I intended to become one but again because it would give me a chance to be working with other women. Evening classes for dressmaking and Hairdressing where also intended to make sure that I developed a good feminine personality. These last two had been suggestions from Amy. Amy called around to see me later that day and to satisfy herself that I was coping as a girl. She then drove me to have my ears pierced. This was quite painless and I left the shop wearing gold studs in my ears and eager to see what sort of earrings I could now buy. Amy said that I would suit long drop earrings and pretty gold hoops. On the way back home we stopped at the Jewellers and I bought several pairs. Over the next 6 weeks I became more and more settled as Susan and I could feel my thought processes become ever more feminine. This became noticeable from the way I began to change things about the house. Amy and John both said that it looked more and more as if a girl lived there. I had replaced curtains and had put up lots of lacy nets. My use of colours was much more feminine and the little things left lying around where the sorts of things a girl would have. Instead of car magazines I now read fashion and beauty magazines. I even felt the desire to begin reading all the classical girl's books that any young girl would have read. In a way I was quickly moving from girlhood to womanhood. I was now quite at home wearing women's clothes and my handbag was always at hand as I got used to wearing dresses and skirts with no pockets. In those first few weeks I must have spend over a thousand pounds on clothes as I indulged myself and bought the most feminine items as I could. Lingerie was a real weakness for me and I bought all sorts of bras, suspenders and basques as well as slips of all lengths and colours. To be able to choose between satin, silk and lace was wonderful. I really enjoyed driving dressed as a girl. The only drawback was that I now found that my car, a BMW, felt too heavy for me to drive. I had lost nearly all my masculine strength with taking the hormones, my weight had reduced from 12 st to just over 9 st, and I regretfully decided to swap my car for a smaller Peugeot 205 GTI. It made sense after all. My car could hardly be a symbol of my masculinity because that had all but gone. I would sometimes put on my flimsiest dress and just cruise up the motorway letting the breeze from the air vents blow up my dress. My hair, which was now quite long, would blow in the breeze and I would feel my earrings being buffeted and making clinking sounds. It felt wonderful and made me think of the Nissan advert on the TV. I looked and felt just like the girl on the advert. The other nice thing was the reaction that I got from other motorists, men that is, they would wink or smile at me and I would take pleasure in the fact that I was certainly becoming attractive to the "opposite" sex. I really had started to consider myself female. I began to meet lots of people, both male and female, on the Training course or at night school. To all of them I was simply Susan. I was treated as one of the girls and learnt how to gossip like any woman. The men treated me just like one of the girls too and I even found myself being chatted up by some of them. As the weeks went on I found that my attitude towards men was becoming entirely female. I was vulnerable in their presence, I allowed them to open doors for me and discovered too that I was becoming attracted to certain parts of men's bodies. One man, Neil, was on the Training course with me and he paid me a lot of attention and kept asking me for a date. At first I refused, as I was still a little unsure of how I would react to him in a more intimate setting. Neil was, however, very handsome and as I became settled more and more as Susan, I agreed to go out with him on a proper date. Friday night came and I took extra special care getting ready for my date with Neil. I had my hair set on the way home from college. My hair had now so long that it now came half way down my back. I felt it made me look very pretty when it hung over my bare shoulders. I had slowly got used to having to spend a lot of time brushing it but the results were very satisfying. I experimented by wearing it in different styles and with ribbons and hair bands. It all served to make me feel more and more feminine. I put on my make up and combed through my hair before getting dressed. Neil was going to take me to the pictures and then for a meal and I wanted to look nice for him. I had told Amy about my date and she helped me chose the right clothes to wear. Amy said that it was time for me to go out with men and that I should not worry because I would be fine. "You are a real girl Susan." she said. My only worry was if he tried to put his hand under my skirt. My penis was now atrophied and caused hardly any bulge in my panties but if he put his hand between my legs he would feel it. Amy said that he was unlikely to be so forward on the first date and that I was soon to have my operation I should be able to make him wait till then. I suddenly longed for the weeks to pass and for my operation to happen. I longed to have my body as feminine as my desires. For my date with Neil I wore a white bra with matching suspender belt and panties. I had on a long white silk underskirt trimmed with lace at the hem. The feel of the silk on my skin made me feel soft and feminine. My dress was long, made from pink chiffon and with a sweetheart neckline and short puff sleeves. I had by now had my ears pierced and wore long dangling gold earrings to match my necklace and bracelet. I sprayed myself with "Anais Anais" perfume and sat on the settee waiting for Neil to call. I was very nervous as I sat there waiting to go on my first date with a man. The doorbell rang and I jumped up with a start. Nervously I opened the door and let Neil in. He looked at me and whistled softly. "You look very beautiful Susan." he said and handed me a bunch of flowers. It was the first time a man had ever bought me flowers. Instinctively I thanked him by kissing him on the cheek. As my lips touched his skin I felt myself becoming aroused, not like before, this time I felt a glow spread through me and knew that I was responding as a woman would. Neil helped put on my coat and walked me to his car. Like a Gentleman he opened the door for me and I got in. He got in his side and started the car. As we drove we talked. He kept paying me compliments and I found this very pleasing. He was quite charming and made me feel like a princess. We arrived at the car park and as we walked to the cinema Neil took hold of my hand and we walked hand in hand. It felt nice being treated this way and I liked Neil more and more. I cannot remember what the film was about, what I do remember is that part way through it Neil put his arm around me and I moved closer to him until my head was on his shoulder. He began to gently stroke my breast with his finger and I felt my breast respond and harden to his touch. I need not have worried that he would go any further because this was all he did. We ate at a Chinese Restaurant before Neil drove me back home. Summoning up the nerve I asked him in for coffee and he agreed. We sat together on the settee drinking our coffee. I could sense that Neil was nervous and so I took the lead and moved towards him and laid my head on his shoulder. We just sat there enjoying each other's company until Neil said that he really had to go. I walked him to the door and thanking him for a nice evening and again for the flowers, I made to kiss him. This time he pulled me to him and kissed me on the lips. My head spun, I felt on cloud nine as our lips touched. A lingering kiss, for some reason I found that I had raised one foot off the floor. I had seen girls do this but never knew why. It just seemed so natural some how. I felt intense pleasure as our tongues entwined. It was the first time I had ever been penetrated by a man before. I had kissed girls this way but now it was different. Neil's tongue inside my mouth made me eager for him to penetrate me elsewhere. It was with sadness that I knew that this was not possible, yet. But soon, Oh God, let it be soon, I thought to myself. We continued to kiss for several minutes before I knew that I had to make Neil go home. I did not want him to but there was no option for me to do anything else. Sadly Neil gave me one last kiss and left, promising to see me in college the following day. I watched him walk down the road and when he was out of sight I closed the door. My mind was spinning, I had not realised how fully female I had become. My natural instincts were now those of a girl and I could feel a burning inside me that could only be satisfied by being "taken" by a man. After I had poured myself a drink, I drank wine or "Babycham" now, I just had to ring Amy and tell her all about my evening and how I had felt. Amy laughed and told me that I had best go to the clinic soon and arranged for my surgery otherwise I would go demented. I knew she was right. I undressed and put on my nightdress. Looking down at my withered penis I knew that I just had to be rid of it. I wanted my vagina soon so that I could satisfy the feminine wantonness inside me. That night I dreamt of how the evening would have finished if I had been a complete woman. I knew that I would not now have been lying in my bed alone. The next few weeks were almost impossible to endure. I had been to the clinic and it had been decided that I was ready to take the final step in becoming a woman. My operation was scheduled for September the 6th. I told John and Amy of course. Now that I had reached such a fateful step John was very circumspect and asked me if I was sure I wanted to go through with it. He felt that he had influenced me and worried that I might regret my decision later. I told John that I had no doubts at all, that I felt so female that I was eager to be a complete woman. I think that fact that I was standing there before him wearing a flowery summer dress and with my long auburn hair tied with a pink ribbon into a ponytail helped convince him that I was sincere. Amy was happy for me. She said that I seemed so feminine already that it was only right that I should be able to do everything a woman could do. She winked at me when she said that and her meaning was quite clear. Both John and Amy said that they would come with me to the Hospital when I went in for my operation. I went out with Neil twice more before I was due to go for my operation. The strain was unbearable, I could tell he wanted to do more than kiss me and I was just as eager. Some how I managed to keep things cool and that apart our relationship flourished. I told Neil that I was going away to visit my sick Aunt for a few weeks but that when I returned I hoped he would still want to go out with me. At long last the September the 6th came around I John and Amy drove me to the Hospital. I was shown into a private room and told to get undressed and put on my nightie. When I had done so and was sat on the bed Amy and John came in to see me. John still seemed worried that I was going too far but Amy was full of words of encouragement. "Just think, Susan. You will be able to wear anything soon." she said then added, "And do anything too." I knew what she meant. There were still some items of lingerie that I could not wear because of the little bulge between my legs. Also I loved to swim but this had been impossible, I could not risk getting changed in the women's changing rooms while I still had a penis. Only Amy had seen me naked, even John had only seen me on the video, he could not bring himself to see me in the flesh. I'm not sure whether he was embarrassed or if he thought I would be. John and Amy left and I lay on my bed reading a copy of "Woman's Journal" until the Nurse came in. She said that the Doctor was coming to see me and he would explain exactly what would happen to me during the operation. After that I was to get bathed and to shave all the pubic hairs from between my legs. The Doctor came in and smiled at me, "Good Afternoon, Miss Fraser." he said. "I am going to explain what we do during the operation and give you some idea of what it will mean for you." He then went on to explain that it was quite a simple operation these days and that I would wake as complete a woman as was possible. It would be painful for a day or two but that the pain would soon pass. "To be honest most of the ladies we operate on feel so good that they do not notice the pain at all." He explained that I would be given a pre-med, which would make me drowsy and would then be taken down to the theatre. There I would be put on the operating table and my legs would be put up onto a cradle, which would keep them apart during the operation. The operation itself would start with the removal of my testicles. My penis would be "skinned" and my urethra exposed. This is what I urinate through. A cavity would then be made between my legs, which would in fact become my vagina. My urethra would be "stitched" into it and the soft sensitive tissue from my penis would be used to create my labia (the lips of my vagina) and my clitoris. The Doctor smiled at me, "You will find that your vagina will look and function perfectly. Your vagina will be quite capable of penetration just as fully as any woman's. In fact you will find that because we use the nerve endings from your penis to form the clitoris you will have exquisite orgasms during sexual intercourse." I was told that the removal of my testes would mean that my body would no longer produce any male hormones and that gradually it would start to produce female hormones naturally. For the first 2 months after my operation I would continue to have to take hormone tablets until my body was producing its own. He then told me that I would wake from the operation with some degree of discomfort as they had to insert a mould into my vaginal cavity until it healed and that it would be a few days before it could be removed and the swelling go down. After that and provided that I was able to urinate through my new vagina properly I would be able to home. He told me that I should not try to have intercourse for at least a month but in the mean time I must use a dildo to help my vaginal cavity heel properly and to keep it open. The Doctor added that most women found this highly pleasurable, as the dildo would cause me to have an orgasm very easily. "You could even get your boyfriend to do it for you. Even his fingers would do instead of the dildo." The Doctor then left me to get bathed and to shave around my penis. I lay in the bath shaving my pubic hair and handling my penis for almost the last time. When I awoke from my operation it would be gone forever. The Nurse checked that I had shaved properly and I then went to sleep dreaming about my new life. The Nurse woke me up at 6 o'clock the following morning and although I was still sleepy she gave me an injection to make me drowsy. As the drug started to take effect I climbed on to the trolley that was to take me to the operating theatre. The trip to the Theatre is hazy in my memory. I was too relaxed by the drug to feel nervous and all I could think of was the fact that when they pushed me back to my room I would no longer be a man, I would be a complete girl with a vagina to prove it. They wheeled me into the operating room and lifted me onto the table. I smiled at the Doctor who was about to castrate me and he smiled back. "Just relax now, Miss Fraser, and we will soon have you back in your room. Now I am going to put your feet in these stirrups. Just relax." As he spoke he raised each of my feet and fastened them into a stirrup arrangement, the sort that women use during childbirth. My legs were held firmly apart and my nightdress was pulled up my body revealing my genitals. A sheet was placed over my middle leaving only my Penis and Testicles visible. A tube was pushed into my mouth and I was told to breathe deeply and count backwards from a 100. I focused my eyes on my penis as I took a deep breath, this was to be the last time I would see it and the last time that I could be called male. Then I was unconscious. CHAPTER 5 I dreamt, and my dreams were both pleasant and terrible. I was floating along on the clouds wearing a gossamer thin gown and feeling so at peace. Then I was plunging down and I felt my body being pulled and pulled. The pulling was centred on my groin and became so intense that I thought I was being turned inside out, then suddenly the pulling stopped and I floated free again. I woke and felt a sharp stab of pain between my legs. I lay there not knowing where I was, only aware of the intense pain in my body. I heard a voice say, "Ah you are awake. I will give you an injection for the pain now." I felt a movement between my legs and the slowly the pain began to ease. As it eased my mind started to clear. My operation was over, I was a man no longer! From this day on I would have the body of a woman and would be able to do all the things that a woman could do and have done to her. The Nurse spoke again, "You will feel better soon, Susan. Try to sleep a bit." I did sleep and when I woke a second time my head was much clearer. The Doctor was standing over me and smiled, "I just want to see how you are Susan." he said and lifted the bedclothes from me. I tried to see what had been done to me but I was still covered in dressings. A tube ran from the top of my thigh. "Very nice, Susan. You will have a very nice vagina when the swelling goes down. One of the best I've done." Although I knew my penis had gone I tried to sense it. But the sensation was strange. It was as if it was still there but inside of me instead of outside. Instead of feeling as if there was anything between my legs I now felt as if there was a void. "When can I see?" I asked the Doctor. He smiled and told me that the swelling should have eased by the morning and that I would be able to examine my vagina then. "Don't forget that it will be some weeks before your pubic hair grows again. When it does, you will look and feel just like any woman between your legs." Amy and John came to see me that night. John was still quite about the fact that I had taken the final step. Amy was giggly, She asked how I felt and I said "wonderful" I really did feel wonderful. I knew my body was just like hers now, even when naked, and capable of doing what her's could. "I've bought you a little present." giggled Amy and handed me a small parcel tied with pink ribbon. I opened it and found that it was a pair of the skimpiest panties I had ever seen. They were of pink silk and it was hard to see how they could cover anything at all. "I told you it was a "little" present." laughed Amy. "You will be able to wear them when you come out of here." I looked at the panties again. I could never have even thought of wearing anything so small before my operation, but now I realised I could. I thanked Amy with a kiss and while John went in search of a drink, I think he was embarrassed by the girl talk between me and Amy and perhaps of my total transformation. I asked Amy why John seemed so uncomfortable and she laughed, "You unsettle him, he has known you for so long but now, as Susan, he finds you attractive. He just does not know how to react to you as a girl." I giggled but at the same time I realised that what she said was true. I had known John for many years and he had been my closest male friend and I his. Now I was a girl and a pretty one. He loved Amy, that I knew, but he fancied me as well. We let the matter drop and chatted some more. Amy was eager to see my new vagina and was intrigued when I said I had to use a dildo on myself for the first month. Whispering Amy said. "I can help you if you like?" I smiled at her. I had always liked Amy, even fancied her, but over the past few months we had grown closer. Not as a man and a woman but as two women. John returned to take Amy home, she kissed me goodnight and to my surprise John lent over me and kissed me as well. I could feel his restrained ardour. Two days later I had my dressings and tube removed and for the first time was able to see how I looked between my legs. I was amazed by the difference in me. There was no bulge now and my legs seemed to be so much longer. My vagina looked perfect in every way and I could not resist touching it. As my finger touched my labia I trembled, it was so sensitive that I felt my whole body shake. "My God!" I thought, "If my finger feels like this what will intercourse be like." That morning I had my first pee through my vagina. I had long since got used to sitting rather standing to pee but this was different. I could not direct the flow at all now and I peed just like every other women. The rest of the day I was allowed to use the lounge, wearing just my nightie and dressing gown. Walking was different too. It was so much easier and I found that I now walked naturally in a feminine way. The following day I felt even better and after the Doctor had examined me I was told that my vagina was healing nicely. "You should start to use the Dildo from now for the next month. I would recommend that you do not have sexual intercourse for that time, at least not full penetration." The Doctor told me that the Nurse would show me what to do with the dildo and that I should use it at least twice a day for half an hour. He also advised me to wear stockings rather than tights for at least another week. After he had gone I was allowed to get dressed for the first time since my operation. I was delighted now with the way my new panties fitted me so tightly, no little bulge at all. Once dressed in stockings and a pretty skirt and blouse I was allowed to walk in the Hospital grounds. I felt marvellous as I stepped outside for the first time as a complete woman. Passers by could have had no idea of what I had undergone and cold only see me for the girl that I really was now. After a pleasant walk I returned to my room where the Nurse showed me how to use the dildo. She explained it's use very thoroughly and said that I would enjoy the experience. "I'll leave you to do it in private." she said as she left the room. I removed my panties and rubbed some KY jelly around my labia. Lying on the bed with my legs apart I picked up the dildo. The dildo was about 9 inches long and shaped very much like a man's erect penis. As instructed by the Nurse I began by gently stroking the edges of my vagina with the dildo. The pleasure this gave me was delectable. Then I began to gently insert