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Furinkan Tsubasa! By Ron Dow75 The child homeroom teacher Hinako-san said in her most grownup voice, "Students, let's give a big Furinkan High welcome to Class 1-F's newest student, Tsubasa Kurenai!" Ukyou cried in panic, "Tsu, Tsubasa!?!" Ranma groaned, "Not that pervert." Even Akane had a nervous sweatdrop, "Don't I have enough trouble with one guy who looks like a girl?" Hearing those remarks, some in the class had to ask, "Who's Tsubasa Kurinai?" Others asked, "WHERE'S Tsubasa Kurinai?" Hiroshi asked, "You don't think it's those newspaper boxes, do you?" On the teacher's platform was newspaper vender with four boxes and newspapers in the windows. Daisuke said, "The one with the necklace draped around the two upper handles?" Hinako-san said to the only thing that seemed out of place in a classroom, "Come out, Kurinai-san. Don't be shy! Remember, if you have any problems, I'm also this class's counselor!" Ranma had something else to comment on, "One nobody ever goes to." A pretty girl long light brown ponytail hair broke out of the top of the machine. (Somehow, she was now wearing the beaded necklace.) She smiled charmingly, "Hello, everybody! I hope I will have even MORE friends at this school!" Ranma commented, "Don't count on it." Hinako-san said, "Kurinai-san, you will sit in the seat behind Kuonji-san. Kuonji-san, could you raise your hand?" That got a reaction from Ukyou. But not one that made the girl in the boys' uniform want to raise her hand. "That's okay, Ninomiya-san! Ukyou and I are old, OLD friends!" The newspaper boxes gone now, Tsubasa in could be seen in a long-sleeved, green-and-white sailor suit. Now, Ukyou raised her hand, "Hinako-san! Do we HAVE to be seated alphabetically?! After all, we're not in elementary school!" Ranma commented, "Even though you wouldn't know it, looking at the kid Hinako-san." Akane raised her hand, "Hinako-san, there's an empty seat next to Ranma." Ranma cried, "What!!?" The teacher smiled, "That's right! That way, nobody else has to change seats!" It was Tsubasa's turn to raise his hand, "Hinako-san? Is this the way Ranma NORMALLY looks in class?" Hinako-san misunderstood, "If I make Saotome-san wear a school uniform, I'm going to have to make you wear one to, Kurinai-san." "Which one?" It was Ukyou's turn to make the comment. /// Ranma was grateful the crossdresser paid no attention to him. (And he kept looking over at him to make sure.) Instead, the girl boy checked out the girls, but he always returned to Ukyou. This made the boy girl with the white ribbon extremely tense. (It didn't help that she kept looking over him.) When the first free period came, the boys started gathering around the new "girl". This only mad Tsubasa mad, "I'm not interested in boys!" And she raised her threatening fist to emphasize, "I HATES boys!" The girls gathered among themselves to talk about the new 'girl'. "Does Tsubasa really hate boys?" Akane, with a crosshatch on her forehead, said, "Oh, Tsubasa hates boys, alright." ("Eww!") Yuka asked, "Then why does she seem interested in you most of all, Kuonji?" Ukyou told her, "Because I'm a girl!" Sayuri said, "But you don't look or act much like a girl." Ukyou got steamed, "Are you saying something I don't want to hear!?" More than Sayuri raised their hands in denial, "No, of course not!" Akane actually relaxed, "You know, they may have something there, Ukyou. Tsubasa DOES seem most interested in girls that don't look or act like girls." Ukyou struck her open palm, "Oh, yeah!" She got her smile back, "Then all I have to do is dress like a girl!" Akane shook her head, "Poor Ranma." But then she got her frown back, "Hmh! It ought to teach him a lesson. Be a pervert, and attract perverts." /// Ukyou came back wearing a Furinkan High blue jumper and white blouse uniform. She also came back to the second period class late. The teacher asked, "Miss, who are you?" "I'm Ukyou Kuonji." Nemoto-san said stiffly, "Kuonji-san is registered as a male." "I'm registered as a male. But I AM a female. Everybody knows that!" "You are registered as a male. As such, you must dress appropriately." "WHAT!?? What about Tsubasa!?!" Nemoto-san misunderstood as he looked out at the class, "If you mean the new student, er..." he looked at his notes for the day, "...Kurinai-san, came into this school wearing civilian clothes, and therefore can remain out of uniform." Ukyou all but called her teacher a jackass, "Is that supposed to make sense!?" The teacher shrugged his shoulders, helpless, "I was told that IS Furinkan policy. Saotome-san, too, must not wear a uniform. Once somebody does, they forfeit their right to wear anything but the official uniform." Ukyou was furious: That jackass Headmaster! He has a problem with haircuts, but not with the way some of his students dress! Nemoto-san asked, "Now, Kuonji-san, do you forfeit your right to wear the male student uniform?" Fuming for a moment, Ukyou turned and headed for the door. She paused before leaving to ask, "Nemoto-san? What is Tsubasa registered as?" "Let's see... Oh! Er, well, it says here that Kurinai-san is a... male(?)" Tsubasa told anybody who was staring at him, "That's right! I'm one hundred percent guy!" /// Later, in the girls' locker room, Akane was getting ready for gym class, "Tsubasa let's everybody KNOW who asks he's a guy?? That's weird." Sayuri noted, "I'll say. Even weirder than somebody registered as a guy changing with the girls," as she glanced over at Ukyou. Ukyou was getting out of her boys' uniform, "It makes as much sense as Tsubasa's capable of making. Remember, I told you he went to an all-boys school. Looking like he does now: Like a girl!" Yuka said, "Wow! Talk about a committed crossdresser." Former girl gang member Na said, "Before anybody says the guy OUGHT to be committed, think about it. To be the only one wearing a dress, surrounded by guys!? The guy's gotta have SOMETHING to be able to survive. Even Ukyou was dressed like a guy." All eyes turned to Ukyou. She looked up from unwrapping the bandage around her breasts that helped her look more like a boy. Her frown got deeper as she thought about it for the first time. "Tsubasa survived by hiding. He HAD to learn to hide. I see that now. That's HOW he became an unbelievable master of disguise. (Really unbelievable.)" Yuka was puzzled, "Tsubasa insists on wearing girl's clothes, but to wear girl's clothes the boy has to wear something different than girl's clothes??" Akane had some unpleasant memories, "Oh (Hehe), Tsubasa manages to always wear girls' clothes." Ukyou snorted, "All of Tsubasa's disguises have nothing to do with clothes. He disguises himself as things! Mailboxes, vending machines, signs, trees--" "TREES!??!" "How can he make himself look like a tree?!!" Ukyou realized for the first time, "I don't know. His folks, maybe, work in a movie studio wardrobe department?" Akane was troubled by the same thought, "He's rich enough to afford his own sets and prop crew?" More than one girl cried, "He's RICH!?!!" Ukyou knew Tsubasa the longest, "The jackass has to have SOME money to afford that wardrobe of his. I don't think he wears the same outfit twice." Akane said, "Unless his parents are designers." But those same girls weren't thinking of that as they smiled dreamily, "There are WORSE things than a guy being a crossdresser." "Money papers over a lot of faults. As long as it's paper money." "Maybe he can get US new clothes!" /// The girls came out of their locker room in the standard one-piece, navy blue swimsuit of Japanese girls. There was no mistaking Ukyou for a guy now. That got Akane, Ranma's tomboy fianc?e, showing off her own figure, to wonder, "How is Tsubasa going to be able to take swim class? There's no way he'll look like a girl, even IN girls' swimsuits." She HAD seen him in his underwear. Ukyou told her, "Please, Akane. Don't make me lose my lunch. I don't want to think about him in a...." Her mouth dropped open when she saw WHAT was coming out of the boys' locker room. Akane exclaimed, "Oh, my lord!" The other girls all had similar reactions. Wearing the standard one-piece, navy blue swimsuit was a female mannequin. It had a figure at least as good as the adult Hinako-san, but it had the face of Tsubasa! /// Ranma hadn't changed in the boys' locker room. It wasn't until they got to the pool that Akane and Ukyou caught up with the redhead. She, TOO, was showing her gender in the stupid standard swimsuit. And she, too, had to wonder when she saw the Tsubasa mannequin, "How in the world??" Ukyou hurried over to her. The Tsubasa mannequin got to the pigtailed girl ahead of her, "Ranma, darling!" The plastic woman didn't move very stiffly at all. Girl-Ranma cried, "Aaaa!" doing the pose. (Ukyou's first reaction was to swing her spatula. But since she wasn't carrying a spatula, she spun around for a few times.) Ranma-chan yelled at the dummy, "Tsubasa!! What'd you think you're doin'!?!" The lips, at least, didn't move, "We ALL need a swimming buddy! Dibs on you!" Ranma-chan slipped his arm out from the thing's arms before they snagged her. She confronted it, "And why ME!?!" It didn't blink as it said, "We're both guys who like to look like girls." "I don't LIKE lookin' like a girl!!" And she swung for the frozen face. The fist stopped just short of it. Ranma-chan struggled like a mime against the wind. Even holding onto her wrist with her other hand and pushing didn't bring the fist any closer to the still-life face. Ranma-chan finally couldn't hold her balance any longer, and fell against the doll's plastic boobs. Akane screamed, "RANMA!!" Ranma hurriedly backed away, and stumbled all the way into the pool: Splash! Akane had no problem connecting with the other dummy's face: Smash! Akane's anger vanished, as she got an ashen look at the headless imitation female. It seemed like something out a horror movie. And she hated horror movies. Tsubasa's own head popped out of the long, swanlike neck. He smiled, "Akane-dear!" Ukyou yelled, "Tsubasa!! HOW can you do that!?! This isn't a DISGUISE!" Tsubasa's attention was diverted to his "Dear, dear Ukyou!" Ukyou also had no problem hitting the fake female. Splash! The mannequin floated. Ranma-chan swam up to it, and sat cross legged on the dummy as if it were a raft, "All right, you picked up a technique: Out with it!" Tsubasa smiled sweetly up at her, "If you go out on a date with me, I'll tell you how I learned to assimilate with inanimate objects." "How about if I just turn you around to where you float face down?" "Oh, DEAR Ranma! How can you learn how I look like something else, then?" "I AIN'T goin' on a date with you!" "We went on a date, before. In fact, you're the one who asked ME out, dear Ranma!" Ranma-chan imagined everybody in the pool area hearing that. "I only asked because I thought you were a GIRL!!" "But as long as ONE of us is a girl, it's okay, right?" That did it: How could he fight with the pervert's sick logic? Ranma-chan fell off. But she then took the plastic woman by one of the ankles and swam with it for the bottom of the pool. Once she had held Tsubasa down to give him a scare, she let go. The buoyant doll shot to the surface and completely out of the water. And it didn't come back down until after Ranma-chan had stuck her head back up out of the water: Klong-kk! /// Ranma-chan woke up with the mannequin on her back, pushing the water out her lungs. Ukyou was squatting beside her, "Ranma, Honey, are you okay?!" As soon as Akane saw the redhead was awake, she was scolding her, "HmH! That's what you get for going against your Code and fighting anybody who LOOKS like a girl." With the last of the water out of her mouth, Ranma-chan groaned. She knew it would be a while before she could overcome her life-time of martial arts conditioning and do anything violent against that pretend girl again. Getting whomped so soon after doing it had reinforced the conditioning. The doll asked, "Remember our little contest to see who could sell the most okonomiyaki for Dear, Dear Ukyou?" His tone became a little scornful, "The only way you beat me was wearing that tacky bunny costume. Hmh! Boys see a little cleavage and they lose what little sense they have. That's why I hate them. They can't appreciate--" Ranma-chan got up, sending Tsubasa on his plastic butt. "Was there a point to bringing up our contest!?!" The mannequin rose up, "I believe I heard somebody say, 'accepting challenges is what the Saotome School is all about'." (Akane let Ranma know she remembered, "You idiot!!") Ranma-chan glared at the crossdresser with the model body, "Are you CHALLENGING me!?!" (Ukyou cried, "Don't do it, Ranma-honey!") Tsubasa issued the terms, "If you are properly dressed for a date tonight, then you have to take me out on a FULL date." And he got a dreamy look, "Oh, yes, a date: A dinner, a show, a stroll in the--" The pigtailed girl said, "Alright! And when I DON'T, we don't date--Ever! You leave me alone!" With that Ranma stormed away. Akane and Ukyou went with her. Ukyou said, "Don't be a jackass, Ranma! You KNOW he wouldn't make a challenge like that unless he has something up his frilly sleeves!" Ranma-chan told them, "Anybody with half a brain has a plan when they make a challenge. It doesn't mean it's a GOOD plan!" Akane also saw the trap, but had her own way of arguing a point when it came to her so-called fianc?e, "I bet Ranma accepted the challenge because the pervert's jealous of the Tsubasa's wardrobe! It'll give him another excuse to be seen in a girls' clothes." Ranma-chan screamed, "Take that back!!" Akane pushed: Splash! Then stormed away. Adult Hinako in her bikini ordered, "Saotome! Kurinai! It's obvious you two are the troublemakers here: Leave and get your clothes on! They'll be no pool time for you two today!" /// Gym class was the last one of the day. The girls had just reached their locker room when the door flew open: Out raced a little man with a kerchief over his head and tied under his nose and a large, cloth sack, "What a haul! What a haul! Not a pair of panties or brassieres left!" Happosai bounded over the heads and between the girls before they could get over their surprise and stomp him. As he made it past the girls and were headed through the gauntlet of boys gathered to go into their locker room, he cackled, "Better watch your skirts, girls! It's windy out today! Ha, ha, ha!" Already dressed and waiting, Ranma-kun heard and had an instant plan. He pushed the real Tsubasa forward, now back to wearing his fuku, "Hey, Freak! Here's somebody's underwear you haven't stolen, yet!" Happosai cried, "You HAVE to be kidding! My expert's eye tells me this guy doesn't wear ANY lingerie!" He landed on Ranma's shoulder. "YOU, on the other hand," and he reached between the fasteners into Ranma-kun's Chinese shirt. Ranma screamed as Happosai stole the weapon he kept tucked away in reserve to distract the Freak, "I DON'T wear girls' underwear!!" He grabbed the creep and slammed him down over to were the girls could--And DID--stomp all over him. While the girls took the bag with their belongings into their locker room and away from the eyes of the disappointed boys, Ranma turned on Tsubasa, "That technique of merging with things is WAY out of your league: You learned your Object Lesson from Happosai, didn't you. You're in this with the OTHER freak, aren't you!" Tsubasa squared her shoulders and said indignantly, "I don't tell lies! I DID say I would tell you!" "For a date!!" Battered, Happosai had recovered, "I only perfected his technique. It was his OWN inclination and proficiency at camouflage that allowed me to enhance his abilities." Ranma yelled, "Why didn't you ever tell me about the technique!!?!" Just as loud and angry, Happosai yelled back, "Because it's not in your nature to hide under or AS a rock!" Having made his point, he looked away from Ranma and crossed his arms, "Besides, why would I want to do anything that doesn't let me see the cute body of your female side." Ranma punted him for the window, "This whole challenge idea was YOUR idea!!" Crash! Tsubasa, true to his word, didn't hide the truth, "In return for completing his treatment, I have to make you a crossdresser, too." Ranma headed for the guys' rest room, "Well, you've got a real challenge on your hands, then: I'm becomin' a girl, and stayin' away from you!" A minute later, standing in front of the long sink before splashing his face Ranma looked into the lav mirror---and saw his future: He looked just LIKE Tsubasa!! "AAAA!!" Wait a minute. It WAS Tsubasa. "What are you doin' in there!!?!" The girl boy smiled back, "When you can enter objects, walls and doors count as objects. Nothing can stop me. Are you ready to give up and put on a dress?" Crosshatches on his head, Ranma said, "'Objects', HUNH? They don't count as girls, or even people, do they?" And he smashed his fist into the mirror! After that Tsubasa could be heard but not seen, "Are you going to break everything around you? That'll become expensive, you know." Ranma made a several large divots in the places in the concrete wall where he thought the voice was hiding in, "I'm USED to those expenses! Why do you think we're poor!" "MR. Saotome!!" It was the very adult Hinako-san in her classroom clothes again. "It is not right to destroy school property. Only delinquents do that!" Ranma ground his teeth in frustration. Out of the nearest stall came Tsubasa. "It is my fault, Hinako-san. If Ranma is to have detention, I should also have detention." Ranma-kun charged the less solid form, "What'd you got planned!?!" He felt the familiar blast of one of Hinako-san's Happo Satsu attacks just before he slammed full force into the steel stall wall. /// Ranma-chan came to leaning against somebody's back while they lifted her by her thighs. The kid teacher Hinako-san was saying, "...Yes, you were right, Kurinai-san; it was easier to give Saotome-san a piggyback ride as a girl." The girl-Ranma opened her eyes in time to see them going through the door of Classroom 1-F. She groaned, "Detention. And with some of my least favorite people." Behind him, Akane cried, "Ukyou! WHAT did you say!?!" Ukyou told her to, "Calm down, Akane! We're here to help Ranma, Honey." Akane crossed her arms and snorted, "Hmhh! It wasn't MY idea! You're the one who dragged me into the boys' rest room in front of the teacher and threatened to copy graffiti from the girls' rest room over the guys'." Tsubasa set Ranma-chan down on her feet. Checking herself out, Ranma saw that despite having the body of a girl, she wasn't wearing any clothes of a girl. She even opened the top buttons and peek under her shirt to make sure a bra hadn't been put on her. (Nope, none there.) The teacher said, "Saotome-san! That is not permitted, even AFTER classes!" Ukyou said, "Yes, Ranma-honey, that ISN'T a cool move." Akane called Ranma a "Pervert." Grumbling, Ranma-chan went to a front desk and sat down to sulk while keeping a lookout for any funny business from Tsubasa. (And Hinako-san. He was sure she didn't know nothing about Happosai's plan, but that didn't mean she couldn't be used to HELP the plan.) While everybody was being seated, Little Hinako-san noticed the packages piled up on and near her desk, "Do any you know anything about all the boxes?" Ranma-chan commented, "Let me guess. They're from dress shops." Tsubasa hurried to open a couple, "They're donations I'm giving to the Furinkan Drama club! I SO hope to be in one of their plays!" Ranma-chan said, "Just as long as it's not 'Romeo and Juliet'. Akane got mad enough when *I* was Juliet. Having you have her role would really make her snap her corset." Akane said, "What are you saying!?!! I'm not as cute as a GUY!!?!" "Draw your own conclusion." Ranma was out of Akane's reach. Hinako-san seemed hardly aware they were there, "Oh, how Pretty!" It was a princess gown like something out of a classic Disney cartoon. Tsubasa said, "Why don't you try it on, Hinako-san? It's large enough to go over your clothes!" Hinako-san squealed with little-girl delight, "Dress up! It's been ages since I had anybody to play with!" She had resigned herself to having to play mostly alone. Despite all of her toys, parents tended to get the idea that her VERY grown-up version was interested in them growing up too quickly. The mothers were the most suspicious. And the reactions her adult self got from the fathers didn't help, either. Tsubasa told the others, "I have MORE than enough for everybody!" Ranma-chan told them, "Count me out. I ain't joinin' in no girl games." Teenage Akane and Ukyou also declined to participate. From inside the dress, Hinako-san looked out from the wide, square neckline, chided, "Ranma Saotome! As the leader of Tendou-san and Kuonji-san's clique, you have to set a better example for them. You have respect your elders, and DO what your teachers tell you to do! As your school counselor, I think it would be a good idea for all of you to try out for drama! And as Drama Club Advisor, I ACCEPT your application!" So that was the plan. Ranma looked at her steadily, "You can get all the authority you can on your side, I ain't doin' it." The little girl's tone changed, "Please, Saotome-san! Pretty please! Please! Please!" Uh, oh! She was getting hyper. "It'll be fun! We can make it a party!" Any more movement and she'd come out of her dress. "If you don't want to be a princess, you can be Rosalind in 'As You Like It'! SHE dressed like a boy? Kurinai, you do have tights?" Tights!? Ranma looked at the English Teacher, "Ain't things weird enough without me pretending to be a girl pretending to be a boy?" Hinako-san added, "Who pretends to be a GIRL!" Ukyou said, "*I'll* say that's more than weird enough." Akane just fumed at the idea. Suddenly a gown and petticoats like from "Beauty and the Beast" was thrown over Ranma-chan's head. Under the hoopskirt Ranma was out of the desk-seat, throwing fists and feet at it, trying to get it off of her. Unfortunately, it was like trying to punch her way out of a paper bag! Every time she hit, it yielded. Because of Ranma-chan's anger and frustration, it was half-a-minute before she realized all she had to do was grab it. It grabbed back: And hung onto her hands. "Tsubasa, you trans-SOMETHING! You became the dress!!" Ukyou cried, "That's Tsubasa in there!?!!" Akane cried, "Talk about identifying with girls' clothes!" Hinako-san said, "Talk about method acting." Tsubasa's voice answered, "Now you see why I HAVE to have Master Happosai finish his treatment!!" "You're WAY beyond a pervert!!" Ranma-chan declared. But before she could do anything about it, Ukyou and Akane attacked the dress. With Ranma under it. "We'll help you, Ranma-honey!" The two girls naturally preferred to hit. Especially Akane, "Ranma, you idiot! Stay still! You're getting in the way!!" Hinako-san was horrified, "You're ruining the princess gown!" Ranma-chan had had enough and ripped out of the satin gunnysack. The gown became loose, limp and lifeless. With growing fear, Ranma cried, "Tsubasa!!?! Are you alright?!! Where are you?!!" Suddenly Ranma-chan knew as her Chinese shirt became binding and messaging at the same time. "I'm sorry, my girl-like Ranma! But the temptation is TOO great. What did you THINK I wanted to do with a sweetheart I could share my affections with?" "You CREEP!!" Ranma-chan screamed. Grabbing the front of her shirt, she pulled. Ukyou warned, "Ranma, you DON'T want to rip your own shirt off!" Angry Akane said, "Why NOT? He's ALWAYS exposing himself!" As on cue, the fasteners of the Chinese shirt came loose. Ranma flung open her shirt like Superman. Except she didn't have any costume on under it. And she wasn't a man. That last was obvious because the undershirt was up around her armpits. Hinako-san cried, "Youthful hormones! I must weaken their power. --What did I do with my purse??" Ranma-chan stood there in an embarrassed sweat, unable to decide WHAT to do. She couldn't keep exposing herself like this. But if she didn't, the pervert shirt would grab her again! Tsubasa told her, "If you get in one of the costumes I brought, I will leave you alone. I promise!" Ranma would not hear of it, "And LOSE the challenge!!? I'd rather let you paw me all night until after the deadline!" As she wrapped the shirt around her with clear determination, the sash that held up her pants fell off. Ranma-chan's pants crumpled around her smooth legs. Tsubasa wouldn't go near her boxers, WOULD he!!?! Ukyou spoke up, "Tsubasa! Leave Ranma alone, and I, *I'll* go out on that date with you!" Tsubasa stepped out of Ranma-chan's clothes, "Really!?! Do you really, really mean it, my dear, dear Ukyou?!" Holding back her anger with a fist, she bowed her head and forced herself to say the awful vow, she said, "Yes. Tonight. In exchange for never asking Ranma for a date again!" Tsubasa headed back inside Ranma's shirt. Ukyou said, "Alright! Leave Ranma alone for one WEEK!" Only one thing would could make Tsubasa happier, "And you'll wear the outfit of my choice? I have it here in one of my boxes!" The jackass was really pressing his luck. But Ukyou said through clenched teeth, "Yes. I'll wear whatever you want me to." Then she looked at the crossdresser in his pretty face, "But you must swear to never, EVER be in any of my clothes!" "Oh, YES, dear, dearest Ukyou! I will never wear or enter into any of your clothing! This I most SOLEMNLY swear!" Ranma-chan cried, "Hey!! What am I, a handrag!!? Why won't he touch her, but it's okay for him to grope me!!?!!" Akane told the jerk, "Tsubasa's afraid he'll lose the special feelings he has for Ukyou. Don't you know ANYTHING about crushes." Ranma told her, "Of course I know about crushes! You're ALWAYS puttin' crushes on me, you super-jock tomboy!!" "WHAT did you say!!?!" Hinako-san interrupted everything, "Kurinai-san! Did I hear you refer to a 'Master Happosai?'?" Tsubasa looked down at his pumps, "Er, yes, Ninomiya-san. The Master is giving me a special treatment." That was a sore subject with the little girl, "A treatment! You're letting that Happosai TREAT you!?!! "As your counselor I want to talk with you alone. AND as one more victim of that evil, little man's 'treatments', I want to STRONGLY advise you AGAINST having anything more to do with him..." /// At home in the Tendou house, shortly before suppertime, Happosai received the news, "Betrayed! Betrayed!" He wept, "How could a student turn his back on his master like that?! And for what!? A woman!!" Akane glared at him, "You're one to talk." Nabiki said to the dirty, old man, "I'm surprised you didn't already know. Why weren't you using that peeping- tom, dimensional trick of yours?" The mercurial Happosai yelled, "I got distracted, okay!? The Fashion Design Club was making lingerie!" Nabiki said, "To replace the ones you took from them and the other girls, no doubt." The front door slid open, and Ukyou called out, "Ranma- honey! Everybody! We decided to stop here before our date." Everybody but Happosai and Ranma went to greet the couple. He was upstairs in his room as he'd been ever since he got home. Happosai denounced the traitor from the other side of the wall, "Your mission WASN'T to get yourself a date!! That's what I get for leaving the method up to you!!" He then disappeared into the night, unable to stand the thought of another's happiness being put over his own. When Kasumi saw what the daters were wearing, she said, "Oh, my!" Her father said, "Are you SURE that is appropriate for a date?" Nabiki said, "Akane wasn't kidding. Tsubasa really DOES prefer girls who dress like guys." Other than her long hair still being tied in a large white ribbon, Ukyou could very well be mistaken for a boy. From her black oxfords, black slacks, blue blazer and white shirt with a necktie with circles that looked like okonomiyaki. Unusual for a guy or a girl, she was also wearing her bandolier of spatulas and her giant one slung to her back. "Where's Ranma? I'm doing this for him, I'd like to have him to know." Akane said, "Oh, you know Ranma. He's in his room sulking. It was his fight, and doesn't like that YOU finished the it, not him. It's all about his stupid ego." Tsubasa said, "Dern! And I was SO hoping we could make it a double date." He was in an ankle-length pink-and-black dress that went all the way up to his neck. Akane shook her head, "Ranma doesn't date unless there's something in it for HIM. (And I don't mean the something boys are usually after on a date.)" She considered Ranma a pervert, but a selfish one. Tsubasa sighed, "Oh, well." And he slipped his arm around Ukyou's as if he were the girl, "Shall we go then, my dear, dear Ukyou?" The gesture was not lost on the girl. She immediately changed things to where she put HER arm around his, like she was being escorted by HIM. Then she realized, "What am I doing!?" Grabbing the front of the dress she dragged him with her, "C'mon, let's get this whole stupid thing over with, jackass!" As soon as the door was closed, Ranma-chan appeared at the top of the stairs. "Are they gone, yet?" she whispered. Frowning again, Akane said, "Yes, they've left! You stop hiding now, and--" She had to stare at the girl. The redhead coming down was dressed in a rental tuxedo. Kasumi smiled, "Don't you look nice, Ranma." Akane said, suspiciously, "Why are you dressed that way?" "You saw the way Ukyou was dressed! *I* have to look better than her!" Akane cried, "You WANT a date with Tsubasa!!?" Her father also cried, "Say it isn't so, son!" Ranma-chan said, "It ain't so." Nabiki said, "You just can't stand not winning on your own, can you." Ranma-chan told her, "That's right! I'm gonna follow them. And when they get to wherever they're goin', I'm gonna MAKE Tsubasa wish he'd picked me! THEN I can get the satisfaction of turnin' him down!" And she started laughing at the idea. Akane yelled, "Idiot!! If you go on a date with Tsubasa, HE'S won!" Ranma-chan yelled, "It AIN'T a date!! I ain't goin' with the guy, I'm just runnin' into him!!" Akane yelled, "In a tuxedo!" "So he can see I'm definitely not, no-way crossdressin' for him!!" Nabiki commented, "The Saotome School of Martial Arts Logic." Ranma-chan said before sliding the front door closed on the conversation, "That's right! I'll do anything to win a challenge!" Slam! Nabiki said, "Ranma's already lost." Her father said, "What do you mean!?!" Ranma's father said, "Yes. What?!" Nabiki said, "Didn't you say Tsubasa's challenge was he could get Ranma properly dressed for a date?" Akane said, "So!? Ranma dresses like a guy... But NOT like this! Now he's PROPERLY dressed for a date!" Nabiki smirked, "It may have been Happosai who set the mission, but it was Tsubasa who set the terms. And as shown by Ukyou, Ranma meets that girl boy's definition of a crossdresser. Not a guy who dresses as a girl, but a girl who dresses as a guy." Akane wondered, "And Tsubasa's definition of a date?" Nabiki shrugged, but continued smiling. "I think Ranma's just bought himself MORE attention from Tsubasa." The End.