Skin Deep II - Chapter 14 free porn video

Chapter 14 Second Wind The next morning Michelle sat at her dressing table preparing to attend the memorial service arranged by William's peers. She was wearing a simple black dress. It was taking her what seemed an incredible amount of time to finish preparing for what had to be done today and again tomorrow. She slowly picked up the string of pearls that Gary had given her just last year as an anniversary gift. There was something about them she felt she should remember but couldn't seem to pull recollection of her emotionally swamped brain. They were modest pearls, not large or expensive. A simple single strand that looked nice. She loved them so. She was a simple person at heart without need or desire for a lot of flash. She rarely thought of herself as beautiful and all the jewelry in the world wouldn't have changed that. But she did feel beautiful whenever Gary looked at her that way he did. It had been like that since that first weekend. All she had to do was soften her eyes and his would glaze over. A deep look of contentment would wash over his face and she would feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. How many times had she caught him stealing glances at her as she dressed here? She stared in the mirror in the vain hope that by some miracle he would be standing behind her... Mrs. Shipley, you shouldn't be sitting here nude at your dressing table. Why is that pray tell dear man? Is this not my home? She would turn slightly to a profile and cross her legs. He would notice the black high heels she was wearing and with a slight blush and smile she would notice he wasn't standing quite as erect as he had just been standing but she would make no mention of it. Because you know I can't resist you... he would slip an arm round her waist from behind and bend to kiss her neck oh so gently. No, I cannot resist the need to touch you. You're not supposed to resist Sir. One exploring hand would glide up her soft skin and trace the underside of one breast. That always caused waves of excitement to course through her; reducing her to a puddle of weakness and overwhelmed nerve endings. It was different at different times. Sometimes at parties he would sneak up from behind her and just lightly teethe her earlobes sending her in to wild and unfulfilled sexual desperation. If he got to her before she knew what was happening she was his to play with for the night, and oh how he would tease her, driving her crazy until she was practically begging him to leave and take her home. On nights like this he would just gently suck on her earlobes until she began to shudder uncontrollably. That's good then. I won't try to. She fancied herself being lifted up into his arms and carried to the bed. He would lay her gently on a pillow and lie down next to her. She would be breathing hard already by this point but it's just what he did to her. She could not imagine herself with anyone else or him without her. She opened her eyes and the fantasy was gone. It left her feeling empty and hollow. I miss you Gary. The tears were close to the surface. I'm dead inside without you. She shook herself mentally. She couldn't do this... couldn't think this way. All she could allow herself to think about now was just getting through the fake ceremony for William. Downstairs and outside, Kit was dealing with William's school buddies and girl friends. Upstairs close friends, Jimmy, Frank and Amanda and a few others were arriving to attend with the family. This would be the first of two ceremonies. How could she turn them away? They were her and William's friends. For them her son's death was a very real thing. It would have to remain real now too. There would be no coming back for him. He was as lost as Mike Vello had been. At least she wouldn't have to continue to hide what had really happened from Frank, Amanda and Kit. But there were hundreds of others. She and Gary had lots of friends, they would all want to express their concerns and condolences at her lost of not only her son but also her beloved husband. Michelle fingered the pearls on the dressing table nostalgically as she tried to remain focused and unaffected by the by the whirlwind of activity in the adjacent room and downstairs. She absentmindedly put the pearls on her neck and fastened the clasp behind her. She looked at the strand on her throat and gently touched them. Michelle suddenly looked behind her expecting to see him there leaning against the door jamb, that crooked smile pasted on his face. She loved the way he always seemed too happy to see her. No matter what they were doing, no matter how long they had been together on a given day, whenever they were apart it always looked to her that he felt he had been away from her for a million years and was just so happy to see her again. Game over everyone, I want out now. If I can't play the way I want to then I'm going home. She was ashamed of the thought, but this is not what she had signed up for. OK she had fallen in love with Gary all on her own. No, she hadn't bargained for that. When they first walked back to her dorm room after first being sealed in a girl's body, she hadn't counted on actually falling in love with him too. She hadn't counted on not being able to get back out either, but she adapted. She took the bad with the good. Had she been able to see the last few pages of the chapter she might not have gone along so willingly after all. "I still love you Gary. God help me I don't think I'll ever escape that either." She hung her head and fought back the tears. There would be plenty of those later. Not now. She didn't want to face the next two days in that state. But she was already numb from the idea that he was gone. The next level of hell was not that far away so why not give in to the tears now? Michelle won the fight with her tear ducts and beat back the flood. What is it about these pearls? OH NO! NO! NOT TODAY! This time she was helpless to hold back the memory. It came crashing into her as an out of control HOV might smack into the side of their home. She was jolted by the abruptness of it and her body convulsed with the shock of it. In her mind she saw him in the rowboat on the lake. He was there right in front of her rowing out across the lake. She was in the bow of the boat. "I'm surprised," he said. His eyes roved over her body that was partially concealed by a gauzy and sheer sundress covered with purple and red flowers on a white field. "At what are you surprised?" she responded craning her neck back to allow the sun to warm her. "That you didn't bring your parasol. You look every bit the 19th century lady stretched out over that bow seat the way you are," he said as he rowed. "I want to take you to that German place down the road tonight? to celebrate." "Oh Gary, This is the first anniversary we've had alone in a long time. Let's just stay in the house and ravage each other." She lifted her head and smiled sweetly at him. "Doesn't that sound better than Sauerbraten and onion pie?" Gary smiled and suddenly tossed the oars overboard. "Gary what are you doing?" She sat bolt upright grabbing at first one then the other paddle as they floated out of reach. Michelle almost went in trying desperately to grab the second paddle. Gary grabbed her by the white sash about her waist and hauled her back into the boat. She peered out around the wide expanse of Bear Lake fearful of what she might have to do to get to shore. The deeper parts of the lake scared her badly. "Now you've done it," she scolded him fretfully. "Now I've done it!" Gary mocked. "Well, we're stuck out here now!" She said angrily. "Mmmmm? We're stuck out here," he said. She softened. "No phone." "Nope," he confirmed. "No neighbors." "They don't know we're out here," Gary responded "No rescue," she said now mocking distress. "No hope of that, no Ma'am." She inched her way forward to him and pulled the dress she was wearing over her head. She pulled herself to him on her knees bare and beautiful and enfolded him in her arms. She lifted his T-shirt over his head and off his body and rested her head there for a moment listening to his heartbeat. It was then he slipped the stand of pearls about her neck and fastened them. That was just one short year ago. The phrase echoed in her head. One short year. One short year. One short year. One short year. The reality slammed into her that, time is only measured because of loss. If there were no such thing as death or seasons or aging we would not find it necessary to mark the passage of time. As it is, it marks the distance between ourselves and what we have lost. It also marks the perceived distance between what we have and what we stand to lose, our family, our lovers and our own lives. Were these things not an issue the passage of time would not matter, may not even exist. For it is only what we perceive that truly exists. She leaped up and dashed to the VID and pulled up her personal calendar, and there it was, May 23rd, their anniversary. She held her head in her hands and rubbed it all around as if massaging away some massive migraine. She suddenly knew she wasn't going to make it to the end of the day. She was going to collapse or her head would explode but she wasn't going to make to the end. "Michelle?" It was Kit. She tried to wave him off without looking at him. She cradled her lowered forehead in one had and waved at him with the other indicating that she wanted him to leave. She did not want him to see her about to fall apart yet again. Kit took a step in the room, "No Michelle, I'm not leaving? talk to me. Tell me something I can believe. If I think you're going to be OK I'll leave." She turned and ran too him, startled him by throwing her arms around him and cried: "Oh Kit. It's our anniversary." The statement caught him as much by surprise has the realization had caught Michelle. Kit looked at the display and there in its little square marking the day of the 23rd was a graphic with balloons and smiley faces, streamers and confetti. He wrapped her in his arms and held her tight. Kit's heart broke for her. This woman had become such a different person than the harsh and bitter man she had been born as. It was almost hard to like Mike Vello at times. But he had always gotten along well with Mike. This girl, the person she evolved into was so sweet and tender and kind, it was impossible not to like her. She never had a harsh thing to say of anyone, her spirits were always light and happy. She behaved like she was a person without a problem. The attitude was often infectious to those around her. It was Kit's contention that she had been through enough growing up. That nature was making up for her misery the best way it could figure out. And that was by giving her an opportunity to make an entirely new life for herself with someone she was suited to be with. But something had gone wrong with nature's course correction. Kit didn't think that anything like this could have been intended. Kit was not a firm believer in God or Karma or anything else of supernatural origin. The pain she was being asked to face was unreasonable in Kit's estimation. Most people would never be forced to face this level of complex pain and loss; most would not ever have to sacrifice so much. Yet, deep in his heart he knew that people had and do face pain like this in their personal life. He understood that in the face of this overwhelming and pointless loss her life had been and still could be a very good one. She must make of it what she could now, without Gary as she had done with him. It was the on going story of life. Some never saw this kind of tragedy while others saw three and four times their fair share. It made Kit angry however. This anniversary could have slipped by without anyone knowing. It probably would have in most cases in a situation like this, but her love for Gary was so intense that there is no way it would have gone unnoticed for too long. But to spare her the day, maybe two or three days, would that have been too much to ask? Kit held her close to him. It was easy for her to blend into the illusion that it was Gary holding her. Kit used the same after- shave as Gary; he was roughly the same height and build. It felt good to be held. She shuddered as sobs racked her body. Kit didn't talk, he had allowed her to snake her arms around his waist. It was a dream he had had for many years but would never speak of to anyone else. She belonged to his best friend. He would never have done anything to destroy that trust. Besides, she loved Gary. He knew there was no hope for any other man to ever have her while he lived and she would be different, so much different now that he was gone. But still, it was nice to think about, if only for a second, what she would be like if she were his. Kit thought, God rest your soul Gary, but I don't think you'd ever blame me for thinking about what it would be like if she were mine. I promise my friend. I'll make sure she's taken care of, and I'll never touch her. She's yours forever pal. She snuggled in a little closer and calmed down some, her head resting on his shoulder, her face buried in his neck. "I'm not going to be able to do this Kit. Please figure out a way for me to not have to go this service today." "Everyone will be expecting you Michelle." She obviously didn't like his answer, she slapped at his shoulder with one open hand. "I'm sorry, but I believe you're stronger than you think. Besides, I'll be there with you the whole time. I'll be there for whatever you need." "You won't leave me will you? I think I'm going to need someone to cling on to today I think." She paused, seemingly embarrassed by her request. Then she turned her angelic face to up to his and peered at him with those deep green pools. To Kit it felt if he were to continue to look in to them that he would just fall in and drown. "You really don't mind?" she asked looking into his face. "Mind?" Kit said starting to sweat a bit." I'd be honored to serve you in that capacity my lady." She didn't reply at first. Then after looking into his eyes for a period she asked: "How is it that you never got married Kit? Good-looking guy like you." "You know, I'm just not the marrying type," he admitted falsely, shrugging his shoulders. "I like that lone wolf life style. You know I'm more of a rogue predator." "Who said anything about marriage? I just think a man as sweet and as kind as you, needs to have some pretty girl taking care of him. Besides, I know you have the bank account to treat a girl right too mister." She touched one sculptured nail to the tip of his nose. He looked at her face, red eyes, mussed up hair and thought, God could this woman ever look bad? He didn't think so. "If I find her then I'll be sure to let her know what you said." He smiled and he suddenly felt the need to get away from her. This was his best friend's wife. He had always respected that, no matter how he had felt ever since that day the three of them hand run from the Police Services back to the warehouse that one grueling and horrible weekend. But he could never deny that he had loved her ever since then either. He had been in love with the sight of her the minute she came around from the bank of warehouse offices holding up Mike's pants around her too small waist. He had lightly flirted with her that night, playfully teasing her, but his advances had gone unnoticed for the most part. He might even have balked at the idea they had been advances if he had been caught or confronted. He acted disgusted later at what had happened to Mike when Rod had jeered Mike and defamed Mike after their brief altercation. He felt guilty about that the whole weekend. And it had indeed lasted all weekend. He had been forced to deny his feelings for how could he tell his friends that he was falling in love with a girl that only last Friday evening had been Mike Vello? What was worse was that Gary had separated her from the crowd and had her alone. Kit wanted to go and be with her but he had no real idea where Gary had taken her. Gary was alone with her someplace and when Kit got the Call from Gary to meet them in front of Mikes old Dorm and pick them up when they all met at the warehouse, he could see her sleeping on Mike's bed, her bed in the back ground. They had at least, slept in the same room together. When they did hook back up, they, Michelle and Gary were in love with each other. Kit had tried to act surprised and mildly repulsed at the idea of their cooing for each other, the whole while his heart was being dissolved. He had been morally wounded when he let his heart rejoice at the idea that Gary may have actually drowned in the harbor during that chase leaving him alone to care for Michelle. Then the incredible guilt at the disappointment he felt when Gary and Michelle came around the corner holding hands after she had tried to run from the building. His heart had never been so badly broken. She was with the man she was truly in love with and he realized in a flash that it was the whole thing he wanted, her, her love, her body, all of it! He would never be happy, not truly happy without every thing he knew Gary could have right then, if he only asked. Even with the knowledge that this was in reality ole' self-centered Mike Vello, that somehow didn't seem to matter just then. In protecting her and comforting her, he had fallen in love with her and hoped that she might choose to stay with him seeing him to be a fine and honorable man. He was even more brokenhearted later when the fates had revealed themselves to all and Michelle was to be part of the world in which they were to live, forever. What she did next surprised him; she cocked her head sideways and kissed him full on the mouth. It was not a passionate kiss. It was a kiss of gratitude. It was for his friendship in the past and for the strength he was going to provide for her today. In her way she came to understand that Kit was waiting for the impossible. She would never speak of it and only hope it would not ruin their friendship, but she still wanted to reward her champion. A kiss, a simple warm and heartfelt show of emotion would have to do. In such a time of sadness she would at least be able to bring a smile to the face of someone she loved very much, even if that smile lasted only for five minutes. Kit didn't resist. He held her tightly by her arms, which were held tight to her sides and kissed her back lightly. It was a short kiss, and even so Kit felt that it was more than he could have ever hoped for. He felt he could be happy with that and with the love of the friendship they shared. Because it would be easy to be angry that he was denied such a love. One might lose all contact by killing the friendship. Kit decided that being in her life in whatever any capacity would be better than losing her altogether. "We're going to have to go now," he said to her while brushing back her hair with one hand. "You really don't mind my being on your arm all day?" "You're going to have to brush your hair first. Besides, who else could do it? Everyone else you know is married. I don't think their wives would like it that much." "No, other women don't like me much for some reason," she admitted. It seemed to be yet another pain in her heart. Friends of her own gender were not easily found for her. Jealousy seemed to rule the day in the hearts of the ladies she might make friends with. "I think you know the reason but I'll respect your modesty." Kit looked down at his watch. "Well, I came back here to see if you were ready. Let me take a look at you." Michelle stepped back and Kit winked. "You look as beautiful as ever. As much as I hate to say this, it's time to go. You have people waiting on you. Not the least of whom, Shelly. She wants her mom. How about if I start earning my keep and give you that arm to lean on that I promised you?" Michelle, brushed out her hair, smoothed out her black dress and straightened. "I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Let's go," she whispered. Kit placed a supporting arm around her waist and they left her bedroom together. -*- It was the sound of rushing wind in the shapeless white void that woke him. For Gary the passage of time had stopped. He felt that only seconds had passed, or had it been centuries? He found he didn't know or care. He was trapped in a place where he would be alone for all of eternity. It was, however, not just any company he wanted. If someone were to walk up right now, it would matter little to him. He would remain curled, as he was, silent and brooding. It was his wife he wanted above all things, his wife and his family. Without them there was nothing now that would turn his head. Then something did catch his attention. The sound of the air rushing over him seemed so alien in this environment. He knew he had no real body now. That was someplace else being cut open to determine why it had stopped functioning, as if it wasn't completely obvious. It had a hole it. My God doctor! Here's the problem. Someone tried to shove a basketball through this man's chest! Even with that knowledge, there was still the sensation of air rippling over his hospital jonnie. The sound of it was growing more intense behind him. He rolled to see what the source of this sound and sensation might be. As he turned, his body slid in the direction of the noise slightly. When he got completely around there was a great gaping black hole before him. The distance from his body to the hole was still appreciable, maybe 300 feet or more but the enormous size of the hole made it seem much closer. It was from this hole that the sound was coming. The hole was sucking the air from around him deep into it someplace. Gary's body slid again. This time it traveled some two feet before stopping. Gary clutched at the surface he was lying on but could gain no purchase. "Help!" he cried, but the sound of it was dragged into the hole. "God Help Me!" In response to his plea for help, his body lost another six feet of ground. "Arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh" Gary declared as he scratched and clawed for some leverage. "Please God! I know you must be angry with me for complaining, but I love her. You gave that to me. Now I can't help it." He slipped some more, maybe four feet. "Shit!" he declared then said, "Oooo Sorry God! Please don't suck me into that black hole. Please Lord! Please!" With that, the suction caught Gary's body full force and swung Gary's feet around toward the hole. "Oh my God!" he shouted. "Not even with a please? What about 'Ask and ye shall receive?' was that just propaganda?" Gary lost nearly 30 feet with that one. "OK! OK! I'm sorry, is that what you wanted to hear? Huh?" He paused and then thought, "No, wait! I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry at all for feeling the way I do about her. I need her! I'll never deny that, or my love for her for that matter. I love her and I'll never be sorry that she was brought into my life. I don't even care if I was to blame for it. In fact, I'm proud I caused it. Proud I tell you! I asked! I asked to have my wife back and what am I going to get? I'm about to be sucked into the black hole of hell? Thanks! Gary slipped again and the defiant look on his face vanished. His chin hovered above the surface of where his body lay prone. "Please God, don't do this to me." He pleaded in a whisper. Gary's body finally took off across the barren white vista. It shot toward the hole as if it had been fired from a cannon. Gary tried to say two words as he was hurled toward the hole but was only able to get one out before the hole swallowed him. "SCREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Y...." Gary vanished within the dark recesses of black spot with a hollow, tube like sounding THWUMP. The hole collapsed immediately behind him. -*- Click The sound echoed in the stark white room that was tiled from the floor half way up the walls. The walls continued with stainless steel from that point to the ceiling were bank after bank of sterile while florescent lights blinked into life. The room was as yet so quiet that the hum from the computerized light ballasts could be heard through out the room. Dr. Louis Berdini walked to his desk at what was nearly the center of the room. There case folders were stacked neatly on his desk which was an impressive feat to begin with since each file folder had been brought down here by a differently orderly. In most cases, other medical examiners would have preferred a Case Peg, but Berdini was stuck on the idea of a paper trail being the most efficient and reliable means of tracking and researching a case or problem. He could often be heard telling any one he could corner, "Hell son... if it was good enough for my grandparents, it's good enough for me." Richard Straton, Berdini's assistant (for what felt like a thousand years now) entered the room and began busying himself making right all the things that he knew were out of place and would eventually drive Berdini crazy once they were noticed. Straton whistled and hummed as he worked moving multicolored containers of fluids from shelf to shelf and metal instruments and tools from one sterile box to various work trays. Dr. Berdini reviewed the two newest cases on his 'to do' stack. The first was another HOV jet-wash accident, a young man that had been pulled into the turbines and spit out the bottom on takeoff. The second was Gary Shipley. "Pity." "What's that doctor?" "That man Shipley died I guess, he's one of our guests this morning," Berdini said with resignation in his voice. "I hope this doesn't change quality of the food at the Red Fish." Richard raised his eyebrows at the doctor's seemingly callous statement then let it go. "Yeah, I heard he had passed on my HOVs SR." Straton went back to his busy work while Berdini pulled Gary's cold corpse from the freezer where it had lay for the last 32 hours and wheeled it out to the staging area. He pulled back the sheet that covered the body and made a cursory visual examination of the body. As a 30-year veteran of postmortem surgery, it didn't take long for Dr. Berdini to see that this man's color was all wrong for that of a cadaver. Out of instinct he lifted the cold and stiff arm to check for a pulse. In the past people had been mistakenly pronounced dead but usually didn't survive this long in the cooler. He patiently waited to get feel anything that might suggest that this man was still alive but after a few minutes he was convinced that he would not find it. He put the arm back down and geared up with protective clothing to prevent being infected by whatever killed this man. Berdini began speaking so the room dictation device would start printing paper copies of his narrative. "The subject, a 39-year- old Caucasian male approximately 6 feet in height, name Gary Allen Shipley, rule-out cause of death: septic shock. Patient was being treated for an apparent systemic infection brought on by a wound received while in the custody of the Rouston Police. The wound was inflicted from a projectile fired from a .44 caliber handgun." Berdini shook his head and muttered: "A handgun of all things. It like we're back in the middle ages," as he lifted Gary's right shoulder to examine the exit wound. What was there made him want to investigate a bit deeper. "Richard! Come here and hold this guy's shoulder up. Something's not quite right here." Richard obeyed and shuffled over in his whisper quiet shoe covers. He took Gary's shoulder and arm from the other side of the table and pulled back rolling Gary's body on its side. From Gary's nose and mouth came a breathy moan that might have startled someone who had never been in a working morgue before. But Richard knew that sound to be the trapped air in Gary's useless lungs being forced out by the weight pressing down on them as he was rolled over on his side. "What do you see Doc?" "I'm not sure..." "Maybe if you describe it..." Berdini looked over Gary's shoulder with a 'let?s remember who the doctor here is shall we?' look, and then returned his attention back to the exit wound. Touching the wound with his gloved index finger he said: "It almost looks like there's been some advanced healing here." Dr. Berdini checked the charts and records sent down with the body. "He was shot... No... that couldn't be right... three days ago? OK Richard... I want to check the entry wound." Richard let the body roll over and Dr. Berdini ran a finger around the entry wound. He checked the records again. "I thought I'd read it had been a .44 and that's what is says right here. But this looks more like a smaller bore weapon, more like a .22. This is damned strange Richard." "If you say so Doc," Richard agreed. "I did. I do and once more. I'm going to have to have a better look at this. Are those sterile?" Berdini asked pointing at a tray of scalpels and clamps. "Yes Doctor, They're still warm. Just came out of sterilization." "Good," he picked out a blade and gently applied it to the skin. The edge of the metal sunk into Gary's lifeless body as a hot blade might part cold butter. But what welled up out of the incision surprised both the assistant and the pathologist. The cut filled to the top with a pool of blood. In a second it formed a dome of blood and the incision was invisible beneath it except for its rough shape outlined by the bubble of blood. Then the pool of crimson gore spilled over the side of the cut and down the side of Gary's cold lifeless body. "That's not supposed to happen is it Doc?" the baffled lab assistant asked. He could not take his eyes off the amazing phenomenon. "Not unless..." "... The heart is beating, No," finished the doctor. Neither man moved for the longest second in both their lives. Then both men were making for the closed VID that stood on a small portable cart that went everywhere the doctor did when he was working. Neither man got to the VID unit. Gary's hand shot from side on the table and grabbed Doctor Berdini's wrist as his hand was almost at the VID. Berdini's eyes widened as he saw that both of Richard's hands were free. There could only be one other person holding his wrist. Berdini allowed his eyes to follow his own arm to the extent of his wrist. There, clamped about it were the pale cold fingers of a corpse. Berdini jerked his wrist about trying to free it but the dead man's grip was surprisingly fast. Gary started making a "Muah Muah" sound but neither man could understand it. Richard thought hysterically but silently, He's going to sit up and say mummy! I know he is and that's when my sanity will head south. Yes Sir, south for a nice long vacation. Berdini was looking at Richard with that 'Ok! We have a situation here!' as he continued to attempt to jerk free of the grasp of the zombie. Berdini knocked over the entire cart of surgeon's tools. The crash could be heard two floors up. Richard was now badly shaken. "Jesus!" He whispered. Then he realized that the corpse had Doctor Berdini and he then screamed "JESUS! JESUS CHRIST!" He started to run for the door when Berdini shouted. "Crash cart Richard!" Richard was able to rope his bucking bronco brain, rein it in and subdue it. He understood that 'crash cart' meant a code blue situation. Someone was in a trauma situation. He turned to react as he had been trained to and realized that the man everyone thought was dead was really still very much alive. Not only that but had survived a day and a half in a freezer in the morgue. "Crash carts are all upstairs!" cried Richard. "Well?" Berdini was saying as he freed himself from Gary's grip. Gary struggled to get up grasping at Dr. Berdini's wrists and lab coat again. Berdini fought to free himself, trying not to hurt the 'patient' but at the same time trying to restrain him all while calling out instructions, ?Call up there and get us one, stat!" He spoke now the tortured man on the autopsy table: "It's OK Mr. Shipley. You're fine!" he assured the former corpse. But the man continued to show a desire get up and leave, apparently unhappy with the treatment provided a paying customer at this facility. "Mr. Shipley, you have to lie down." Berdini fought with the man to get him to lie down but the former dead man was surprisingly strong. Adrenaline no doubt, but it was odd that this man possessed this kind of strength after being sealed in a refrigerator for so long. Berdini could hear Richard negotiating for a crash cart. Richard was in the inter-office VID shouting at Ronda the Chief NEOMed on duty. "Ronda... I'm telling you we neeeeeed that God- damned cart. This is not a joke!" "Is one of your customers trying to leave without paying the bill?" Berdini could hear Ronda, a typically silly blonde giggling at her own poor joke. Richard turned the VID screen toward the good doctor and the still struggling Gary Shipley. Berdini looked up from his struggles just long enough to say: "As matter of fact ..." Richard, now out of the picture could her scream, "JESUS CHRIST!" "I don't think so..." said Berdini, "But I have to admit, he's doing one hell of a good impression of Lazarus." -*- In the living room a few mourners had gathered. Beth and Randy were together along the far wall against one of the long bank of tall windows. Beth had been crying and Michelle could only guess. It was about Gary or this service for William or any other of the litany of curses brought upon this family recently. Michelle understood she had not been attentive to her children's needs or pain, only her own. It was a horribly shameful and empty feeling. It would have been easy to make excuses but that's not what Gary would have done. He would have stepped in and quietly taken control of the situation. Without complaint, without making a big deal of it, he simply would have seen it as his job, his place within his family to be the protector. She turned to Kit and said: "I thank you for everything Kit, but I'm leaning too much. I need to be more like Gary would want." She lowered her head. "I used to be like that, and I can't for the life of me figure out when I lost that." She withdrew her arm from his and he let it go with a look of understanding on his face that made her want to kiss out of gratitude again. "Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I just have to get over it." Michelle took Kit's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Thanks!" Kit reverted back to his silent self and simply nodded with a sad and brokenhearted smile. She turned away from him and walked first to Beth. As Michelle crossed the room she saw that Beth noticed she was walking her way and quickly wiped tears from her cheeks. Randy stood and straightened out his jacket and smoothed out his trousers. Randy took Michelle's hand and she was silent. She looked down to two strong male hands had swallowed hers. Randy could tell she was struggling to say something. The curtain was closing a new act about to begin. Randy understood that as long as she didn't say it out loud the future might be delay. At least it wouldn't seem as real if she didn't speak of it. Randy also got the feeling she was struggling for words. The fight to say what she wanted Randy to hear and keep herself from saying was becoming too much and she were breaking down. Randy quieted her with a few simple words: "You don't ever need to thank me. You are all my family, and I love you all so much. How could I not?" Michelle brought her free hand up and laid it on Randy's cheek. "I have to say it anyway because it's all I can do. So thank you so very much for making sure that we are as together as we hope to be. You've come a long way with us recently. I... ", She paused and then said: "Thanks." Randy tried to step to the side sensing that Michelle now wanted to talk to Beth but as he moved out of the way, Beth ran one hand down the length of Randy's coat sleeve where it settled in his hand. She then pulled him close to her and refused to let him back away. She turned to face him. "Please stay," she whispered. Randy nodded and Beth's hand stayed tucked securely in Randy right hand. Michelle looked at Beth, "This may seem like a very stupid question, but is everything OK? You were crying." "Just sad Mother. Sadder than I think I've ever been before." A new tear leaked from the corner of her eye and Beth attacked it with anger and wiped it out of existence. She took the girl in her arms and Beth, for a minute, released her grip on Randy's hand. "It will get better!" Michelle said. "It may not seem like it right now but it will." "Will it Mother?" Beth asked. "OK then, it'll get better. But right now, you're right; it sure doesn't feel like it." "I think I know what you're thinking. This is not your fault. Not one ounce of it." "Oh yes it is," she said weakly. "Yes, all of this is my fault." "No!" Michelle insisted. "You are an unwitting player in something I can't even begin to understand. You're a victim. If anything we should have told you everything a long time ago." "How would that have stopped what happened? No Mother, this is my fault, and Dad is dead because of me." "Beth..." Michelle was aghast and Randy was vehemently shaking his head 'no.' Michelle tried to assure her daughter that what she was feeling was not so. "Your father would not want you thinking things like that. Please try to understand and see..." But Beth held up her hand, the tears long since dried. "I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt Dad or you. I can't tell you how bad I feel with him gone...how much I'll always miss him. But it's going to be even harder to live with knowing that I was the one that took him away from you. I hope that you can forgive me somehow." The pain in Michelle's heart was the largest thing she had ever known. How could she tell Beth what she'd done, the pain that she, Michelle had caused by putting that SKIN on Gary to selfishly keep him here with her, now this. She had broken her daughter's heart and led her to believe that she was responsible for her father's death. Michelle wanted to tell Beth that none of what she was feeling was true. That in no way was any of what had happened over the last week her fault. There were ears and eyes about that shouldn't know what she wanted to confess. There were people here, all friends yes, but they were not part of the inner circle. They had not been there, they did not know. Still her need to relieve her daughter of this burden had driven her to the point of confession. Michelle was about to confess in fact when there was a pleasant distraction. Michelle heard someone walk up behind her on the hard wood floors. She could hear the tap, tap, tap of shoes, women's from the sound of getting closer behind her. Instead of turning to see who was approaching, she continued to watch Beth and anguish over when and what to tell her so that Beth could release some of her pain and guilt. As she watched Beth's face, she saw it brightened just a bit as the sound of the foot steps got closer and came to a stop behind her. In her mind she saw him. Oh God was this going to happen every day for the rest of my life? He was coming toward her in his black tux. Everything on him looked so tight and buttoned-down. His graying hair combed back. He had this intense look in his soft eyes, like granite beneath clear water with autumn leaves floating on the surface. He was coming for her across the room. He loved her, his hand was reaching out... Michelle gasped, as a hand slipped onto her shoulder, "Mom?" It was Erin. Michelle shook her head a bit in surprise, just a split second then turned with a smile on her lips. Michelle reached one hand up and took hold of Erin's. "Hi Honey." Michelle offered a sympathetic smile to Beth who signaled for her to turn and talk to Erin with a stirring motion of one hand. Michelle nodded and turned. "Are you OK Mom?" Erin asked. The rough abrasive teenage selfishness was completely wiped away. What was left was a strikingly beautiful woman, a grown woman. The realization that her oldest daughter had grown up and now could pass as her sister was a humbling thought. "You look all grown up!" Michelle said in total amazement. "When did this happen? I don't remember telling you that you could grow up." Erin smiled, pleased that the recognition had finally come. She said nothing; instead she took her mother in her arms and hugged her. When the embrace was done Erin said: "I'm sorry if I've been a selfish brat Mom. This isn't an excuse but, sometimes it's very hard to realize how others see you, when all you want is what others have." Michelle smiled at the cryptic statement. The puzzle of it was clear to her. She had felt the same way growing up and watching people that had so much take it all for granted. She had become guilty of the same condition and perhaps it was a human condition. Perhaps she had condemned that which she had no right to condemn. She had judged where she should have been judged. Michelle smiled and Erin knew she understood. Michelle was about to reply when the front door chime on the VID lit and sounded. "I'll get it Mom," Beth said. She moved over to the VID and turned it on. There, on the screen, was Captain Martin. Over Beth's shoulder, Michelle could see the image of Rouston's top cop. She mumbled "What now?" and lowered her head. She could hear Beth was saying, "Yes Sir. No, please come up, she's here." Beth buzzed the door open and on the open landing below she could hear the steps of two people. He has an officer with him. Martin came up accompanied by an older woman who hung behind. In his hand was an old style manila folder. "Captain?" Martin extended his hand and Beth gently shook it. "Is something wrong?" "No, at least I hope not... I'd like to talk to your mother however. " Michelle turned to face the Captain as he made his way to where she stood near the far west wall of the living room. Behind him was a small person. The identity of this person was not clear to most in the room but Michelle was very familiar with her identity, even obscured as she was by the Captain's large and robust frame. Michelle started to walk to the Captain, trying to keep the concern in her head from showing up on her face. The possibilities of why Captain Martin had brought Mike Vello's mother here circled her, menaced her and threatened her sanity. She had been found out. William had been discovered. Maybe both. She tried to smile as he approached Captain Martin but no matter what she did it felt strained and unnatural. Oh God, It's never going to end. But she decided that it was going to end, today, right now it was going to come to an irreversible close. Her children could take no more of this. She would plead for the day, maybe the next to bury her husband and then face whatever waited for her. How was she going to handle this though? It was clear that he knew and had brought her mother as evidence so she would give herself up. Or perhaps this was a confrontation. Maybe her own mother had gone to the police. Gary, I need you! "Mrs. Shipley, " started Captain Martin, "I want to start by saying how sorry I am that my department had anything with the untimely demise of your husband. I really didn't want this to be a public admission as much for your sake as much as for the department. However, I'm not trying to hide from my responsibility in this matter. I failed you and your family. As a police officer, my first job is to protect the citizens of Rouston by upholding the law, no matter how painful or close to home it may hit. " Michelle nervously shifted from on foot from another. There was a bomb that was going to be dropped here. She knew it as much as she knew she was really Mike Vello. But what else was there to do but wait. There was always hope that she was wrong, however thin that hope was, it was still there. The Captain continued, "After your husband was..." he stammered not wanting to say and finally found a way around the problem. ?...well, we wanted to see if there was some clear way to define for you what had happened." Captain Martin now waited for Michelle to talk. It was a tactic that was used in interrogation. Offer a little and then wait. Usually people crack under the pressure of silence. There was nothing to crack here it was just force of habit. Suddenly Michelle launched into a brief statement, "I know what happened. That man has had it out for Gary since his best friend disappeared. He's always felt that Gary had something to do with it." "Well, Mrs. Shipley, there's more to it than that, and I know that you know that too," Captain Martin chided. Michelle wanted to flee, the bomb was coming and it was going to land on her. How could she have hoped Captain Martin didn't know? Michelle was silent; Captain Martin could see the fear in her eyes so he proceeded. "Something quite unexpected has happened. The focus of our investigation shifted when we found fingerprints in the rubble of a smoldering building about eight blocks from here. In a way it was very strange that we found them at all, they should have been destroyed by the fire that took the building they were in, somehow they survived. It wasn't until we started putting the two investigations together that we found a link between you and our long presumed dead local hero Mike Vello." The blood was gone from Michelle's head. It was true she thought; she had been discovered. "Are you alright Mrs. Shipley?" Martin was asking from the end of a very long tunnel very far away. "Yes..." She said and swallowed. Her mouth and throat were very dry. She wanted to cry, but she had no more tears left. She wanted to confess and end the whole thing right now. Yes! It's me I'm Mike fucking Vello. Now go and leave my family alone please. Haven't we all suffered enough? But her throat was too dry. Within seconds she was sweating. "We found some photos Callahan had stashed during the original investigation. Since the case never went to a Grand Jury, there was no discovery process and the photos remained pretty much unknown." He held out the folder he had been holding out to Michelle but she refused at first to touch it. Michelle glanced back at Beth and Randy. Both were silent but staring with wide-eyed disbelief. Beth shrank back from the visage of her grandmother and that of the Captain. Michelle knew she had to keep the focus off Beth and now Randy. They deserved to have a life. Everything had changed with Michales death. Beth could not go back, no one could go back. If she had to fall on her sword she would. She would not like it, but it's what a mother does. She protects her children. She returned her gaze to Martin's extended hand and the folder it held. Still she would not take it. Finally his persistence won the day and she took the cursed folder. Her hand visibly shook as she held it. "I'm supposed to look at this?" she asked weakly, her voice was barley audible. Erin came to stand next to her, as did Beth and Randy. Each put a loving hand on either an arm or a shoulder and Erin asked, "Mom? You don't look well. Do you want to sit down?" She almost laughed out loud and thought, No need dear. Soon I'll be flat on my back on the floor resting, just be patient. She shook her head no and proceeded to open the folder. The hard copies of the photos there were of a young girl that had not changed a bit in 20 years of time. In front of her was the men's dorm at Rouston State University, a ghost now a building demolished long ago. She was making the right hand turn down the alley that ran behind the building. She wore a light colored sweater and a plaid skirt and beach sandals. The next showed her in the window of the dorm room of one Mike Vello. There was an old red marker line pointing to that very widow and the words Vello's room scrawled above it to prove that yes indeed it was Vello's room. The next was a reverse of the first, the girl was leaving the alley, she was moving directly across the street this time however not the way she had come. The next was of a man whose face she had not seen since that weekend. It was Gary Tonto. The man she had first made love to as a woman. The man she had in some ways blamed for trapping her current body. Martin spoke as she looked through the photos. "I had not seen these before. It wasn't until we searched Callahan's office for clues that we discovered them." He paused and waited. "It was clear that you knew Vello. Callahan may not have been as crazy as we all thought all those years ago. With the emergence of the fingerprints I thought it would be best to take these photos to Mike's mother and find out what she really knew. See if she had ever seen you before that night. It was information that had never come up before because there was never a serious investigation." Martin had taken on the tone of an investigator now. He would not be deterred. He was waiting for a confession before he was forced to speculate any further. "Your mother explained quite a lot when we went to her yesterday about these. Everything in fact and the picture makes more sense now. At least we know what happened to Mike now, don't we?" He looked down at the smallish Michelle. She was cornered. They had her, and more over, Captain Martin knew it. The fact that Captain Martin had referred to Rose as 'your mother' only now began to sink in. The impact hit her and her oldest daughter hard. "Mom?" Erin whispered. "This is your mother?" Even with the knowledge of who her mother had once been, Erin had not been able to put the pieces of the puzzle together that this was actually her grandmother standing here, perhaps it was also the malevolent banner she seemed to come sailing in under that had also been a distraction to this fact. The full force of what was happening came down on her like the brick wall of a burned out building falling free of its weakened supports. Even her noble idea of confessing to save her children had not brought the impact of what being discovered my really mean, of what confessing would mean to all of them. Michelle began to confess spontaneously. "Captain... I ... I can ... Oh God..." Michelle began to shudder. If she was going to jail then who would take care of her children. What would happen to Beth? Did they know about her too? She didn't want to cry but there seemed to be nothing else to do. "Please don't get upset. I understand why you kept it a secret." Michelle allowed a brief burst of hysterical laughter to slip out. "I bet you do!" she cried. Undeterred, Captain Martin continued, "Being the bastard daughter of an already poor family in this world has to be hard. Especially when you've come back for some sort of a welcome or acknowledgement and are turned away for a second time." Michelle looked up surprised. What was this? That was not the explanation she would have ever expected. She was so comically stunned that she almost corrected the Captain in his assessment of her situation but she could not find the words to do it. She stood there, her mouth open and her eyes wide with surprise. Rose picked up the thread before her daughter was given a chance to ruin the story. "I told him everything after he came to me with the pictures. I had to. It's time to stop hiding Michelle. I told him how you found me and wanted to know why I had abandoned you." Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she reopened them she said, "I also told him that after I begged you to go away, after I told you that we had only just a few years before lost a daughter that you tracked your brother down and told him that you were his half sister." Michelle stood listening in absolute shock. There was nothing for her to say. She stood in silent shock, a state that others confused for the calm in the face of an overdue justice. The words were scary because to her. Loosely knit, her mother was justifying the hard copy photo-images taken by some device that had been across the street when all this had started. Rose hung her head and said with gloom, "I also told him that Mike is still alive." There was a pause from those still listening. It was a dead but physical silence that everyone in the room could have reached out and touched. To feel it, however, would have been to touch a cold deceased and rotting shame. Rose played the part of a neglectful parent so well in fact that Michelle fully expected for either the Academy come and present her with her 'Best Actress' award or Captain Martin arrest her before it was all over. "I told how upset Mike was with me, with you, angry at the world when you told him that I had another child." She turned to the Captain. "He was already close to the edge after Erin was killed. Mike loved her very much. The idea that I had betrayed a family he had once believed in ... he must have felt his entire life was a lie." Rose wept and to Michelle they seemed like very real tears. She was voicing the pain of an old wound for her, a wound that was there before she had been. Now the pain of it was resurfacing and Michelle could feel the hate she had once felt. She wanted to kill it. She wanted to smother it in the love she had found in her new family. She wanted Gary back! When Rose had calmed herself she continued, "After Erin died, he got his own place and proceeded to get an education that we could not afford for him." She pointed to the pictures in Michelle's hand. "I have to admit, I was surprised when he ran off. He had put his world together. He was so talented. I always had a feeling he and his sister were destined for greater things. But when he trashed everything and just went away, well I knew what had happened when Gary started dated Michelle. I thought he'd cool down and come back. I couldn't have known how disturbed he really was." "Yes," said the Captain, "indeed." "I had wanted to tell Erin and Mike how lonely I was with his father interred only a few miles away in a Canadian prison camp. I wanted to tell him that what happened had started out as a favor to make sure his father was well taken care of while he was there." She hid her face in her hands. Michelle wrung her hands at the story waiting for it to collapse. Michelle knew that her neighborhood had once been occupied by the Canadians and had been converted to a concentration camp used not for soldiers but for able-bodied men who might have enlisted against them. Many were taken back to Canada and held. In fact, many were still there it was rumored. Mike's father had been held shortly after Mike had been born. It was a matter of public record. Everything else was conjecture. Nothing else was recorded or saved. Robert Vello didn't talk much about it to his kids. There were stories and both kids got the feeling later in life that they were watered down renditions of the truth. They never pushed though. Each could see it was a hard thing for their father to talk about. Now, here was Rose was confessing sexual favors for her husband's safe treatment. Rose was confessing that it had turned to something else and resulted in a child, Michelle. "My husband would not have understood. I loved him though and would have done anything for him. So I did what I felt I had to; God help me. Then I realized that I was so very lonely." She uncovered her face and looked pleadingly to Michelle. Even Michelle was beginning to believe that her father was truly a Canadian prison camp guard. "It didn't seem harmful. This man, this Canadian guard from the prison camp brought food for my children, and medicine and clothes sometimes. They needed so much. It didn't seem wrong. I told myself it wasn't just loneliness. I told myself that I was doing this for my children, but I know the truth of it." "Then I got pregnant. I went to them and asked for help several times but the Canadians at the prison camp thought it was funny. All they talked about was breeding the Americans out of existence. After the boy who did it found out I was pregnant, he never came back. I never saw him again." Rose trembled with the shame of it and Michelle understood that at least part of this story was true. She felt it as certainly as she knew that the sun would rise tomorrow. "Now I was pregnant with a baby by a Canadian soldier. My children were hungry and my husband was in a prison camp. If anyone found out I would have been stoned to death. Hatred of the Canadians was so harsh at the time that the people of Rouston would have killed me and maybe my children. I did the only thing I could. I remained out of sight until I had the baby and then I sold her." The last came out as a strangled whimper. Rose was silent. She could not speak. She was confessing to not just one crime but at least two capital crimes to protect Michelle. "When Michelle came back and wanted to know why? I got scared. I never expected to see her again. So much pain I had caused. So much... So much.... I never meant to. You must believe me." She was pleading to everyone now. It suddenly didn't matter how much of her story was true. The heart of everyone in the room was breaking for this frail little woman who had been through so much. "I had lost all my children. All of them! I had even sent one away by my own hand. When she came back to see if there was love there for her and to find out why I turned her away again. Such a beautiful heart she has and I sent her away both times." Michelle went to her and held her tightly. "Shush... It's going to be OK now Mom. Everything is going to be OK now." Michelle wanted to believe that. Here she was calling her mother 'Mom' for the first time since she had moved out of the house as Mike. But Michelle wasn't sure. Her mother had exposed herself to prosecution by admitting this. To Michelle it felt a false admission, despite how horrifyingly truthful it seemed, no matter how much truth there was to the story, Michelle still knew where she had come from. And yet, a deep part of her could almost imagine that this was the truth. She felt so removed from her former embodiment as Mike Vello that she felt she could easily slide into that fabricated reality. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe that was what she was going to have to do. "Mike knew I could never tell the truth and rather than run the risk of exposing me and his father to that pain he left," Rose explained. "A pretty girl too," Martin said with a sad tone to his voice suggesting that a fate such as this would somehow be less traumatic for a girl of diminished beauty. Michelle knew she had to play along now. Her mother had risked so much to set her and her family on a pedestal that would be beyond reproach that if she were to damage that credibility now it would mean the ruination of her entire family. "I don't remember much really. Most of what I do remember I really don't want to recall. I remember finding an opportunity to at a very young age to be on my own so I took it." Martin nodded and waited, he wanted more, or expected more. Michelle wasn't sure. "Once I had been told by the person who cared for me that I was not hers. She told me that I would go to a home one day where good people would take care of me, but she couldn't let me go. She hid me until I was older and undesirable to be 'adopted.' As Mike became popular, she told me that she had gotten me from that family. I remembered that. I didn't want to be with R`anaa anymore after that. She loved me but not enough to hold me to her. I left her one night. I just left her." "There was so much sorrow in the faces of the people around her. Sorrow she didn't deserve but she took it anyway and blushed. She felt like the biggest fraud on the planet listening to this, participating in this. Michelle stood there with her mother in her arms and understood; she was being given her mother back. It was as much as Captain Martin could do to say he was sorry about what happened to Gary. "Nothing will ever be said by anyone, Mrs. Shipley. A girl shouldn't have to spend her life pretending that her mother doesn't exist." He looked at Rose. "A mother should never have to deny her child either. The times were desperate during the war. You have a child left Rose. Be with her now when she needs you most."" Rose reached out and touched Michelle's cheek. "Forgive?" Captain Martin quietly excused himself. He was an intruder here. He had no business being here any longer. Only Beth noticed him as he silently walked to the staircase and descended without another word. Michelle felt the grip of her mother's arms tighten on her body. After the longest adventure of her life, after searching for the thing she desired most in either life, Michelle had finally made it home. Behind them Kit, Frank and the members of the band had gathered around waiting for trouble and to bail Michelle out if there had been any. Tommy Wilson, the drummer for Tidewater whispered to Frank: "She's Mikey's sister?" Frank nodded with tears in his eyes. "Looks like it." "Man!" Tommy said in awe. The mourners watched as a wrong that had been corrected settled into its natural place in the order of what should be, a moment of good out of such a terrible wrong. Everyone agreed, as they followed the white LimoHOV to the church, that Gary would have been pleased that even his passing had brought Michelle a rich and rare gift. Since it was that one thing that Gary had seemed to have lived for, it was fitting that the most precious of gifts be given back to her on such a day. Tomorrow, Michelle would lay to rest the bodies of her son and husband. Today however, she would have her mother back and that was could be a considered a true silver lining. Conversation eventually shifted to the subject of what would happen to Mike when he was caught. There was no question in the minds of everyone that he would now be indeed caught. No one had really been looking for him for years. Most assumed he was dead and therefore looking for him would be futile. It had always been believed that eventually perhaps a body or some remains would surface during a construction project or the digging of some road way or something. But there was no real need to go looking. But now that it was known that he was truly alive then there was no doubt that he would be found. For now it was only a matter of time. Even at the church service the buzz was about what would happen when Mike was caught. Michelle understood that with the witnesses with the fire and the confession, no one would ever suspect that she had ever been anyone but Michelle Donavon then Michelle Shipley. She was finally free of the fear of being discovered. She was finally and truly Michelle Shipley, for once and for all. Never before has a more burdensome thing been lifted from a person?s heart. She wished Gary could have been there to share it with her. -*- Pastor Jameison drew a deep breath as he stood at pulpit and surveyed this sad congregation of Christ Episcopal Church. Some of the faces he knew some he did not. In the front pew were the Shipleys. It had been he who married that happy couple,