CLEANER
By Emma
PART ONE
Once I had eaten the breakfast my cook had made for me, spent an
hour or two picking out the clothes I wanted to wear for the day
and lounged by the pool for a while, I caught myself looking at
my reflection in the wall high mirror in my dressing room. And
yawned. Not because I was tired.
I was very beautiful you see. Actually I was gorgeous. Many men
had told me so. But this (though very flattering at first of
course) was starting to become very boring. I was beginning to
realize that the ivory box I had built up around myself kept me
in as much as it kept other people out.
What I decided I needed was a return to something a bit more
real. There were thousands of real lives out there in the world
that I could have lived.
One morning I was scanning through the satellite channels
looking for anything to amuse me and I found myself more
absorbed in what my cleaner was doing. I started to watch her
all the time.
Melissa wasn't that much older than I but she was my opposite in
almost every other way. Whereas I had long slim beautiful legs,
hers were fat and stocky as much as the rest of her body. My
small but elegant breasts were dwarfed by the huge ones that
hung from her chest. She wore thick glasses when I could see
perfectly. As for her hair, it was a little bob, swept back from
her face, the base of her neck shaved close to the skin, while
my luxurious blond hair was forever dropping seductively (and in
a way I found utterly irritating) over one eye.
She'd be down on her knees, swabbing, or dusting around me, or
Hoovering the floor. She felt uncomfortable doing these things
with me watching but I liked to, and I was the boss. It made me
feel funny to imagine someone doing something like that for a
living. It was so simple.
I lay, imagining what it would be like having such a simple
purpose in life - something to occupy my time so completely. It
made me want the same thing, curiously. I wanted to live with
such purity.
Of course I could have fired her and done my own cleaning, but
there would have been no necessity. I didn't want to just do it.
I wanted some kind of transformation to occur. I wanted to have
to do it.
So one day I went up to her and I stood there, long legs smooth
and slim in high heels filling her field of view as she
scrubbed, and I asked if she wanted to trade places with me. For
the day.
She thought I was joking. As I continued to insist she thought
I was crazy. I could see the fear in her eyes that I was setting
her up for some kind of practical joke. I reassured her and
offered her money to go along with it.
In the end she agreed.
We went up to my dressing room, huge, plush, warm and furry. I
knew it was probably bigger than her whole house. I told her to
go into the wardrobe, the massive, corridor long wardrobe, and
choose anything she could fit into to wear.
She chose a silk, slinky trouser outfit held up by elastic that
left her arms bare. It barely fit but made her look almost good.
I helped her with her hair and make-up, showing her how to do
it.
Then I turned my attention to her clothes.
I disrobed and climbed into them: the shapeless dress that
looked sack-like on my slim body, the clunky shoes. I brushed my
hair out straight and lank and then I slipped her pebble glasses
on, going instantly blind.
It felt so good to undergo this transformation - to become her.
We stood there gawking at each other and then I demanded that
she take my place and I hers - that she call me Melissa.
And for the rest of the day, I scurried round doing the cleaning
while she watched television and swam in the pool.
She was greatly bemused by the whole thing but I paid her a
whole lot of money to keep it to herself. We even hid our
escapades from the other servants...
* * *
For the following weeks this is how it went.
Whenever she came we switched places, her languishing while I
worked. Spending so long as Melissa was therapeutic. It was
great to be someone else for a while.
It wasn't enough however.
I started to insist that she spend her days working out on the
extensive exercise equipment I had in my mansion. She grumbled
at first but seemed to like the idea, as if she'd always wanted
to get trim but had never had the willpower before.
I, meanwhile, started grossing out on junk food. Cream, chips,
burgers, bacon, chocolate, crisps. And the pounds started adding
up. It only took a couple of weeks for my perfect figure to
become just average and then start to lean towards plump.
I managed somehow, with constant obsessional effort, to be able
to see through Melissa's glasses, my brain making the necessary
adjustments. Then the headaches began in the evenings that only
went away when Melissa came next morning and I stuck her heavy
frames on my nose.
I became Melissa's personal trainer, bawling her out if she
didn't do enough exercise. I gave her money for contact lenses.
And all the while I made sure she kept it a secret at home,
although they must have noticed her starting to slim. I
meanwhile stopped seeing my boring old friends. I only wrote or
spoke on the phone. But I kept promising a comeback.
After about six weeks of this I had Melissa tell her husband
that I had asked her to accompany me on holiday for three
months. Apparently he was put out but the money I offered
persuaded him to let his sweetheart leave.
Melissa was getting into this. She loved pretending to be me.
As soon as we left town we switched places. She became me
(Nobody out there recognized me) and I became her servant and
travelling companion. We went to Los Angeles and as she lay on
the beach and went swimming in the pool I scurried about
fetching her things.
All the while though, I porked out on fatty foods while making
sure she exercised.
After the first month I found that I could hardly see now if I
removed my glasses. I say "my" because twenty-four hours a day
now, I was Melissa. And I was fat. My breasts were becoming
enormous, my chin had dissolving into a large fold.
Then the final stage came.
We both had plastic surgery. Working from photographs of our
original states, we had the surgeons reconstruct our faces until
we looked identical to one another. My eyes were pushed closer
together, my nose hooked downwards. My ears were enlarged. We
had our hair done, hers now long, straight and blond, mine
thick, dark, short and cut straight in a bob just below my ears.
After we had recovered she looked beautiful.
She looked exactly like the retired model Topaz.
And I looked like her cleaner.
I stood in my hotel room, staring in the mirror at a face I
recognized. It was Melissa's face. I had been transformed
completely. I looked exactly like her from the fat legs crammed
into high heeled shoes, past the bulging hips and stomach, the
enormous breasts, all crammed into a shapeless short sleeved
dress; her face with its gaping little eyes and saggy chin, the
thick glasses.
I was no longer the woman I had been in any way.
Even our voices, through long and arduous practice had come to
resemble the others'.
I was her.
* * *
It was then that we returned.
When we got back to the house my butler remarked on how Topaz
was back to her real self. He had become a little worried that
she had been putting on weight. He was relieved to see she was
"back to normal."
I loved the anonymity. The butler treated me exactly as though
I were a lowly servant. I was scum beneath his shoes. He saw me
as Melissa.
I was Melissa now.
We had sorted it out while away. Now we were back she was to
take my place completely. I had briefed her on every little
detail she needed to know. Anything else she could improvise. I
had even told her intricate details about my finances. I wanted
her to have complete control.
I wanted to leave my old life behind completely. Not completely
obviously. This process was strange - I'll admit that it was
obsessional - but I still had my head glued on. Before we
proceeded with the final stages I had insisted that Melissa sign
an agreement to keep my private details secret and that she
didn't actually retain rights to anything of mine. I decided
that the swap would go on for six months. After that time we
would reverse the process. I'd give Melissa a generous bonus to
take away with her and I might even write a book about my
experiences.
It was going to be a fantastic busman's holiday, superior to any
that had been taken before. I was a different person now. It was
so relaxing!
I just didn't realise that the new Topaz was getting far too
used to her new life...
CLEANER - PART TWO
I put the mop and bucket away and walked back across to where
I'd left my shoes.
They formed an inverted reflection in the marble floor at the
foot of the wall mirror that stood next to the cloakroom and I
caught a glimpse of myself lumbering towards them as I got
close.
It wasn't long since the bandages from the plastic surgery had
been removed and it startled me seeing this other woman - this
fat woman. I moved closer, touching my face and watching the
mirror woman doing the same. Melissa's face, the fold of soft
skin hanging from her chin making her face round, her thick
glasses, doubling the size of her eyes beyond them - these were
mine now. It was my face. Even my hand and my arm were such a
complete contrast to my old form, bulging and round. In the kink
of my elbow the doughy flesh pressed outward, seeming even
chubbier than it was.
My dress was a new one I picked up abroad. It was blue and
straight, stopping high enough to reveal my chunky calves and
knees, leaving my arms bare and displaying some of my monstrous
cleavage. Through the fabric I gripped the bulge of my stomach
and squeezed it in. It was months since I started this little
experiment, to assume the guise and daily working persona of my
cleaner, but every SINGLE time I had cause to look down at
myself or see myself in a mirror or window, it startled the hell
out of me.
I was Topaz. As a model there was a time when I was on the cover
of at least one glossy magazine every month. I had been voted
Vogue top model of the year twice running. I was the "face" of
a perfume called Diabolique. I was the perfect embodiment of
beauty and the poster girl of anorexics everywhere. But looking
into the mirror, I could see that I wasn't Topaz anymore. If
there was a slim supermodel behind this face she was covered in
rivers of fat. Not even the face was hers anymore with its
slightly hooked nose and close-set eyes.
Fingerprints and dental records were the only thing that said
who I really was beneath it all now. Even my past wasn't purely
mine anymore. I had given it to my cleaner. While we'd been away
I had drilled stories into Melissa's head, filling her mind with
anecdotes that only I could have known and getting her to fill
my mind up too. I wanted our disguises to be perfect. I wanted
that because the next stage was for both of us to step out into
the light of day for all to see. There couldn't be any slip-ups.
So in almost every way I wasn't Topaz anymore. She was.
I was Melissa. The cleaner. The fat one.
It scared me actually - to look at that face gaping back at me.
I knew Melissa would never cheat me - the fortune I had offered
her to switch temporarily would hold her in check - but it made
me a little edgy to think that if something happened to her,
people might not believe who I really was.
It was a delicious feeling. I grinned. I'd never had a high like
this or felt so alive.
I looked down at my chubby bare feet, pulling my dress clear.
I'd painted the toenails pink to match my fingernails. Another
shiver of shock to look at them and think they were mine but a
shimmer of delight too.
I tried to push them into my heels. It was a strain. I had to
hook my fingers into the backs to act as a shoehorn and that was
a further strain. I wheezed, trying to crease this fat body.
Finally they were in and I took another glance at myself.
Melissa.
Me.
I straightened my bob, trying not to be too surprised as I
always was when I saw straight dark brown where it had once been
curly blond, then turned and walked into the depths of the house
looking for my "boss."
* * *
Topaz was climbing out of the pool as I approached, reaching for
a towel. She scowled at me as she threw the towel over her
shoulder. "Melissa, I thought I told you to scrub the hall floor
by hand. I just had Roger check up on you." He was the butler.
"He said you were using the mop."
I was taken aback by her tone. It was imperious and patronising.
She'd never used it before.
"If you expect to clean for me then you'd better get used to
doing it right. I expect that marble to gleam, do you understand
me?"
I mumbled "Yes."
"Do you understand me Melissa?"
I lowered my head. "Yes miss."
I hadn't prompted this. Her hostility was purely of her own
making. It made me feel subordinate - inferior.
I loved it!
Topaz slipped her feet delicately into her heels and walked
gracefully round to the near side of her sun lounger. She looked
gorgeous, smooth long legs and slender arms. Her stomach had
only a slight roundness to it that accentuated her femininity.
Her curly blond hair was tied up into a bun at her crown. She
sat, then casually slinked one leg over the other.
I nervously twiddled my fingers, waiting for her to dismiss me.
"As you're aware Melissa," she said, "today the two of us will
be truly swapping roles. I will be attending a party where I
will announce my intention to make a comeback. You will return
home to your squalid little house."
"Yes," I said, kept off balance by the way she was suddenly
taking control of our interactions.
"Obviously it's important that you don't break from character at
any point."
"Yes."
"Is that clear Melissa?"
"Yes miss."
"Your 'husband' hasn't seen you for several months - that will
help matters - but if I hear that you have bungled things up
then there's going to be hell to pay."
I made a flicker of eye contact but looked away. She was glaring
right at my face and I didn't like to meet her gaze.
"What that means," said Topaz, the temperature of her voice
dropping, "is that if you make any mistakes you might end up
living my old life forever."
I gaped at her. She sounded serious.
It was genius. I loved it!
I hadn't prompted any of this. She was embellishing the
situation with her own ideas. I knew she wasn't really serious
obviously, but it added an enormous amount of spice.
"Is that clear?" she snapped.
"Yes miss."
"Good." She uncrossed and recrossed her legs the other way. "Now
get out there and scrub that floor. Once it's done you can go."
I turned to leave, relieved that I didn't have to face her
anymore.
"And Melissa?"
I looked back.
She picked up a magazine and started scanning it. "Do a good job
this time. Your work has been really slack lately."
I grinned. I couldn't help it. "This is great!" I said, "You're
really playing the part. You'll get a healthy bonus at the end
of this Melissa."
She turned her eyes up to me and glared. The muscles in her
cheeks hardened. "Don't presume to speak to me like that
cleaner," she snapped, "I think if you look in the mirror you'll
see who Melissa is and who is Topaz."
"But I-"
She threw down the magazine and came up to me, grabbing a chunk
of hair at the back of my neck. There was a free-standing mirror
to my right and she swung me round, my face wincing from the
needles of pain in my scalp. "Look!" she said, "Look there in
the mirror!"
The reflection showed both of us, my chubby body cowering, face
contorted with pain and fear, her athletic form standing over
me, her features hard-edged with anger.
"Who's fat?" she demanded.
"Me," I whined.
"Who's ugly?"
"Me."
"Who's nothing but a worthless cleaner?"
"Me!"
She threw me forward and I fell to the floor at the foot of the
mirror. She came up behind me, dominating the glass, hands on
hips. "And who's beautiful - hmmm? Who's a rich and famous
model? Who owns all this?"
Under my breath I mumbled "You."
"I can't hear you Melissa!"
"You do."
"That's right." She folded her arms. "Now I told you not to slip
up and give the game away. You just called me Melissa. That's
your first life gone. If it happens a third time then you can
say goodbye to ever getting your old life back."
My knees were stinging from where she threw me down. I wiped my
eye with the heel of my hand. "Yes miss. I'm sorry miss."
"Now get up and get back to work. What do you think I'm paying
you for."
I struggled up, still not used to the extra bulk. I was carrying
almost my own body weight again in fat. Any kind of challenging
movement like that was difficult.
Topaz took her seat again on the sun lounger, laying back this
time, legs crossed, magazine resting on her thighs. She ignored
me.
I started to speak but decided not to. It was tempting to blow
my last two "lives" here and now and see what she said and did.
My face was tingling. But I didn't. To be honest, I was afraid
of her. I didn't want to make her mad again. So I just backed
slowly away and went out to scrub the hall floor on my hands and
knees.
CLEANER - PART THREE
I stopped in mid-scrub, bent over, knees cold on the hard marble
in the hallway, face less than a foot from the floor.
There was a pair of pale feet in front of me suddenly in gold
high-heeled sandals. The skin was delicate and white. Each nail
was perfectly varnished in pale rose pink.
I lifted my head, slowly tracing up the smooth line of her legs.
She was close - very close to me. I could smell the scent of the
Diabolique, dabbed into the backs of her knees and the scent of
her skin itself.
Topaz stood right over me, dressed now in a short flouncy skirt
and a sheer, multi-layered, patterned vest top. Her hair was
down and divinely "done," wisps jetting out to the sides. Her
face was a picture.
My old face.
My eyes moistened to see her dressed up like that, ready to
return to the world.
For the last two years I had withdrawn to the sanctum of my
home. I had grown weary of the parties and the glitter and
although I had been tempted many times to return to it all, I
never had.
To see her now, going in my place, cut me in some small way but
made me very proud too. I had created this woman. Now, with
absolute confidence, she was ready to assume my former glory.
"The floor's much better now Melissa," she said, "You've done a
good job. Well done."
I smiled feeling real pride at the compliment. "Thank you
Topaz."
"I was a little hard on you earlier and I should really
apologise."
"It doesn't matter," I blurted, still craning up at her.
"No, it does matter," she said, "You work very hard and I
appreciate it."
I felt a surge of contentment then checked myself. It seemed
ludicrous that I should take pride in cleaning well while my
cleaner pranced about in my clothes. But I did. I felt proud of
myself.
"Now get out the way will you," said Topaz, her voice cooling
again instantly, "You're blocking the door and Roger's waiting
to drive me to my party."
I got to my feet, my back creaking and shuffled out of the way,
remembered the bucket and scurried back to clear that too. Topaz
waited impatiently, arms folded, foot tapping. "I'll just be a
moment miss," I said.
Then I dropped the scrubber and it splattered drops of water up
Topaz's legs.
She lurched back from shock, arms up. Then the expression of
surprise on her face was consumed by her fury. "Look what you
did you stupid fat bitch! Look at me! Can't you do anything
right?"
I mumbled several apologies, adrenaline pumping into my
bloodstream leaving me wired.
"I'm sorry miss. Let me help dry you off."
"Don't - touch me!" She held out her palm to face me. I stepped
back. "Fetch a clean towel!"
"Yes miss."
"Now!"
I scurried to the airing cupboard and returned as fast as I
could, wheezing from the exertion.
"Quickly," snapped Topaz.
I handed her the towel.
She swiped her legs with it briefly then threw it over the top
of my bucket. "Be more careful in future idiot!"
"I'm sorry."
She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, you will be if it happens again."
She stalked past me. I watched her open the door, leaving it
carelessly open, and go out to the waiting car.
All the glory and fame that had been mine was waiting for her.
The car would take her to the photographers and celebrities and
bright lights and inane conversations. I only wished I were
going in her place for a moment. Then I remembered why I left
that world in the first place.
Topaz threw me a glance as the door was shut for her. For a
second a shiver of what could have been disgust passed over her
face before it was replaced by a sneering smile which broke out
into a grin.
As the car pulled away she was laughing loud enough for me to
hear her through the glass, her head back, slender neck exposed.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL MELISSA
I laughed until my throat got sore. I had to make myself stop.
To see my stupid ignorant arrogant boss reduced to the state she
was now - standing there in my old fat body, watching me leave.
I hated my body and life as Melissa. She was welcome to it.
All the years I had worked for Topaz, scurrying round while she
lounged by the pool reading magazines, I'd felt the envy turn to
bitterness and then to hate.
I hated her arrogance, the air of superiority she always
carried. I hated the fact her life had reached a point mine
never could. I hated the irritation and impatience she had
around her trainer when she put on the slightest amount of
weight.
Now she'd put on a bit of extra weight. She was every bit as
huge as I had ever been.
How surprised that after all that hate and jealousy, she had
come to me with a request to swap places? How eagerly had I
accepted, pretending to be scared and surprised?
To be honest I had been surprised. Surprised at how foolish and
short-sighted she could be and how happily she could give away
everything she possessed to me.
I played along. I insisted she pay me for the trouble I was
going to, all along not believing that she'd push all the way.
Despite my desire for a thinner body, my depression had always
drained my resolve to slim. With her pushing me and the hope
that she would give it all up spurring me on, I trained harder
than I could have believed possible.
And all the time, she loved pretending to be me - loved putting
on weight and looking worse and worse each day.
When she asked me if I would have plastic surgery and
temporarily assume her life completely, I had to bite my lip to
stop myself laughing in her face.
You stupid stupid woman, I thought. Don't you realise that I'll
never let you take it back from me?
And now I had it. I was the model. I was Topaz. It was my long
legs and slender body that languished by the pool. It was her
chubby form that bent down on hands and knees to clean.
Every day was a pleasure that outdistanced the last. I gloried
in the punishment I gave her, each belittling remark and
put-down a thank you for the years I'd suffered under her reign.
And now I was on my way to meet her fans and her friends while
she was about to find out just how bad my old home life was.
Except her fans and friends were mine now. If she were there
she'd be a laughing stock.
I was going to be a queen.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL TOPAZ
As a model I had quite a large staff.
Anything I wanted or needed I got instantly. I owned a car and
hired a jet if I needed to go anywhere.
I wasn't used to public transport.
Or the two-mile walk to the tube station.
I had notes in my big black short-handled handbag detailing
exactly where my new home was, the layout of the interior and
details of its other inhabitants. I ran my eyes over these,
trying to ignore the overpowering odour from the dirty man
pressed up against my right and the perfume stink from the woman
on my left. Two small children sat opposite pulling faces at me.
They kept whispering to one another then looking at me and
giggling. Their mother leaned over to them and said "Shhh. She
can't help being so fat." He voice was low. She hadn't meant for
me to hear. But I had.
I sighed, feeling for the first time a bubble of depression at
my new state. I saw myself in my minds eye how they saw me. The
concealed sneers of disgust. Thank God I'm not that fat. The
private smiles. At least my glasses aren't that thick.
I drew my handbag closer and buried my face in my notes.
It was stupid to take any notice. This was who I wanted to be
for now. I'd spent months of effort getting to this state. I
shouldn't feel ashamed of myself. And I could return to my
former beauty whenever I wanted. This fat nobody they were
seeing wasn't the real me. Beneath the bulges I was still as
gorgeous as ever.
All it would take to return to my former persona would be a word
with my double. She was probably feeling way out of her depth.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL MELISSA
How many people told me I was looking better than I ever had?
I smiled at them all, swallowing what seemed like never ending
praise from all around me.
It was unnerving at first but looking so different made it
infinitely easier. I was disconnected from all my old neuroses
and fears because they had gone with the old body. Now, looking
like this goddess, I was completely free! I couldn't stop
talking and mixing, greeting celebrities as though they were old
friends. I'd never been as charming or erudite. I'd never had
the confidence. But inside me there must have been a socialite
all along, waiting for this opportunity to emerge.
The eyes of the men were all over me. Not since we had been
abroad for the switch had I felt this and the intensity was a
hundredfold. This was fame. This was life like I had never
experienced.
I would never go back.
I would kill her first.
I would never let that bitch anywhere near this life again.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL TOPAZ
I opened the door to my new home, my skin tingling.
I'd never seen even the exterior before but I knew it intimately
from the descriptions Topaz had drilled into me. I hung up my
coat on the line of brass pegs to my right, fearfully keeping my
eyes on the dark corridor leading to the rest of the house.
As Topaz, I had been married twice - silly six-month publicity
stunts doomed to failure. It had been champagne and hotels
degenerating into public arguments. This was going to be nothing
like that. Melissa had been married for fifteen years. Her
marriage was something old and lived in, comfortable and secure.
It was loving and tender with her husband Robert.
I could see why she had had such difficulty leaving it behind.
The house was more cluttered and dirty than I had expected but
that could be put down to the length of time it had been since
"I" was away. It needed a woman's touch. That was all.
I started down the hallway, nervous as a schoolgirl about
meeting Robert. It felt as though all my relationships had been
gaudy and shallow. It was going to be so good to feel the care
and quiet attention of a loving husband, even if it was
time-worn love.
I didn't expect fireworks or passion but that was all right. I'd
had enough of that for a while. I just longed for the quiet
smiling glances and the guiding hands, the peaceful
companionable evenings and the long warm nights lying together.
Robert was a doctor and the gentleness that that profession took
with it was going to be such a welcome change.
Robert wasn't in the kitchen. The yellow light etched the dirty
pots in the sink and on the draining board. Newspaper rather
than a cloth covered the table. It was stained and damp with
spilled food from the discarded plates. It had to have been some
kind of party because of the volume of empty beer cans toppling
out of the waste bin.
I smiled fondly and shook my head, frowning. How little men
could accomplish without a woman at home. It didn't matter. I'd
take it in hand. It would be fun to make our little home pretty
again.
From the lounge I could hear a television. I made my way
through, the butterflies getting rowdier in my stomach. None of
the lights in the house were on aside from in the kitchen and
lounge. I tripped over several dark piles or objects in the
corridor. As I reached the door I heard a man's voice cry out in
elation. "Yes!"
I pushed it open and making sure I emulated Melissa's voice
perfectly said. "Robert?"
He was standing up in front of a low threadbare armchair, his
fist in the air, the television deep into the throes of a soccer
match. Dressed in dirty jeans and a soiled white vest, he wasn't
what I expected. He was tall and very thickly built with very
hairy arms and badly receding hair. For a moment I was horrified
before I realised the mistake I'd almost made.
It would have been a huge blunder. This wasn't Robert at all. It
must have been a friend of his. I pushed the image of how
difficult it would have been if I'd embraced and kissed him by
mistake, then felt a shimmer of gratitude that I wasn't going to
have to touch him.
He turned to face me and the elation disappeared. He had a thick
moustache and it twisted up as he frowned.
"Fuck time you call this?" he said.
I gaped at him. "Excuse me?"
"You were supposed to be back an hour or more ago. Where do you
think you've been?"
I stepped back, momentarily afraid but steeling myself. This was
"my" house. I wasn't going to be spoken to like this by a
visitor. "My boss asked me to stay on to do some extra
cleaning," I replied indignantly.
"That stuck up bitch Topaz?"
"She's not stuck up!"
His expression turned blank. "I thought you hated her."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Where's Robert?"
He narrowed his eyes. "What you say?"
My stomach turned over. I could read it in his expression. I'd
made that blunder after all. I stammered. "I mean, where's the
Robert who said he'd miss me when I left to go abroad?"
He eyed me up and down suspiciously. "Fuck you going on about?"
I stepped back into the doorway, arms down by my sides. This
wasn't what I expected. Not at all.
The crowd on the television roared as another goal was scored
and Robert turned back to roar too. He was enormous. The weight
and height and the animal scent coming from him were
overpowering. Surely this couldn't be the kind gentle doctor
Melissa had described to me.
The surge of support died down on the screen. Distracted and
irritable, Robert glanced back at me. "Look at this place," he
said, "it's got like a pigsty. Why don't you go fix me some
dinner then get started on cleaning it up." He was trying to be
nice but it came over as a veiled threat.
"Alright," I said, just anxious to get out of there. I didn't
like this. I didn't like him. I closed the door after me and
stood against the wall in the darkened hall, my hand on my
chest. My system was saturated with adrenaline. I was shaking.
"Uurgh." I didn't like him one bit. I thanked God he wasn't my
real husband. I wouldn't like to have been tied to him forever.
How did the real Melissa stomach him?
That brought my mind back to what she'd said. Had I been so
desperate to swap lives that I'd filled in my own details of
what I wanted her home life to be like, rather than listening to
what she actually said? I could have sworn she described him
very differently than he was.
It made me want to cut this short now. I felt very vulnerable
here in unfamiliar surroundings, with only HIM.
No. No, I wasn't going to do that. I reminded myself to enjoy
this. I'd paid a lot of money for it. It was a holiday from
myself that I wanted. The more different it was from my life as
Topaz the better. I wasn't going to get scared and ruin all my
hard work now. And after all, I had wanted to be a cleaner.
That's what I was going to be doing.
I smiled.
Then I lumbered through to the kitchen and started to
familiarise myself with it. I didn't want to keep Robert
waiting. I was starting to get a nasty suspicion about the beer
cans in the bin and I didn't think he was a man that liked to be
kept waiting when he was hungry.
CLEANER - PART FOUR
"Your dinner's ready Robert," I said, standing next to his chair
in the lounge, hands together down in front of me.
The football game was still on the TV and he ignored me,
continuing to watch.
"Robert?"
"What?" His voice was abrupt and I flinched at the sound of it.
"Your dinner's ready."
"Well bring it though then you dozy tart." He pressed the volume
plus button on the remote. The clatter of the crowd rose,
filling the room.
My cheeks coloured and my eyes became pinpoints. "I've gone to
a lot of trouble clearing up in the kitchen and fixing you a
meal. I've been away for months. The least you can do is turn
this crap off and talk to me for twenty minutes."
I realised as soon as I said it that I'd made a big mistake.
Robert lifted his hand to the remote and hit the mute button.
The room became instantly silent. I started stammering
something, trying to retract my hostility. He touched the
standby button and the screen winked into blackness, taking all
the light in the room with it.
"I'm sorry Robert. You're right to want to watch television.
You're probably very tired from work. Being a doctor can be very
stressful."
The armchair creaked as he stood up but I couldn't see anything.
"You spend all day helping people, it can be hard to come home
and continue to be nice," I said.
He moved close enough that his belly brushed the backs of my
hands. His deep sweaty reek settled over me along with the heat
of his body. "Are you trying to be funny?" he said, voice low
and husky.
"Sorry?"
"You trying to take the mickey of my job?"
"No," I said, "why would I? There's nothing wrong with being a
doctor."
His face came close to mine. When he spoke I felt tiny flecks of
hot spittle on my cheek and nose. "I'm not a doctor. I'm a
labourer. What the hell are you talking about?" He pushed me in
my shoulder. I grunted, staggering back, coming up against the
wall, the light switch digging into my shoulders.
"I'm sorry Robert. I was-I was just fooling around. I'm sorry."
"You've ruined the game now," he said, voice still low.
"No I haven't. You can still enjoy it."
"No," he said with a surge of anger. "There's no point now.
You've ruined it. Did you finish tidying the kitchen?"
"Almost."
"Almost. Right. Well almost isn't done is it?" The spite built
in his voice with every word, chipping each word out like shards
of glass. "You swarm off on holiday for months, leaving me to
take care of myself then you come back and suddenly want me to
drop everything. Is that right?"
"No. No. I'm sorry."
He put his hands on either side of my face and leaned close.
"You will be sorry if you cross me again you fat bitch. Now get
out there and fetch my food or I might have to get nasty."
* * *
I was too terrified to cry when I took Robert his meal but as
soon as I got back to the kitchen, I sat on one of the wooden
kitchen chairs and sobbed.
I'd never been spoken to or treated that way, made to feel so
pathetic and insignificant. I hated it. I couldn't stand it,
regardless of any submissive fantasies I had. This had to end
tomorrow. There was no way I was coming back here again. I
looked at the wall clock in the gloom of the yellow kitchen
light. Eleven o'clock. It was too late tonight but first thing
in the morning I was going back there. "Topaz" was going to be
sad to leave my life behind, I was sure, but I didn't give a
damn. It was one thing pretending to be her while at home,
cleaning round. It was something else to become her away from
there, so excluded from my source of power.
Robert was a brute. He was just shy of being a psychopath. I
didn't want to share a bed with him. I didn't want to see him
again. After I swapped back with "Topaz" I was going to do what
I could to help her break free of him. She'd put herself out a
lot for me and she deserved something in return. I did have some
resentment toward her though. I was convinced she had told me
Robert was a pleasant and sedate doctor - not a brutish thug
labourer. Had she lied about that or was I mistaken? It made me
angry right now thinking about it. I was going to give her a
piece of my mind when I saw her next.
I had thought I had cleaned up most of the kitchen but looking
around me now I saw a lot of clutter and dirt that it seemed
Robert might just get touchy about. There were trails of grease
down the walls, bundles of soiled newspapers and porno mags and
plates flaked with dried on food. I didn't want to risk his fury
so I got to my feet, cursing my extra bulk, and got to work.
One more night like this, I told myself, and then I can get back
to my old life of luxury.
* * *
I'd been planning to get a taxi back to my mansion but I didn't
have any cash on me.
Robert took what I had to go down to the betting shop. He was
still in bed when I left. It turned out to be worse than I'd
thought. He was an unemployed labourer, squandering what little
money Melissa brought home from cleaning. I hated to think of
him getting his hands on the bonus I had given her to make the
trade but from the sound of it he'd spent almost all of it
already.
I used Melissa's railcard to get back to the village then walked
the rest of the way. By the time I reached the gates of the
house my feet were aching in my heels. I was wearing the usual
blue short sleeved dress, stopping at my knees, my bulging arms
and legs poking clear.
The front door was locked. It burned me having to use the
servant's entrance, but I did. I made my way in through the
kitchen. The cook sneered at me as I passed. It had been a big
job, keeping the switch between us secret from the servants, but
it added an extra element of realism.
Back here, away from that ogre, in familiar surroundings, even
though I was still trapped playing the part of Melissa, I felt
a lot better. I was still angry at Topaz, but the dreamy,
playful quality to all this was returning. As I entered the
hallway I sighed. I was so determined to throw all this away
after Robert's nastiness but I felt a serious pang of regret at
that thought now. Pausing in front of the hall mirror I looked
at myself again.
This strange face looking back at me through pebble glasses.
This odd, bulky body. All my life I'd been mesmerised, as all
women are, to desire a slim gorgeous body and shun the
possibility of being so fat. Why, when I'd had that beauty in my
grasp was all I wanted to be like this? Maybe I wasn't the only
woman who felt this way. Maybe there was a secret vein in all
women to go so completely against social convention and not care
what they looked like - not keep struggling against it. Maybe
all women wanted to just quit exercising, enjoy their food and
wallow in fat.
Or maybe I was crazy.
Either way a shimmer of anger rose in my mind to think about
Topaz's lies. I turned away from my reflection and stormed
across the huge hallway toward the poolroom, determined to bring
her to task.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL MELISSA
I emerged from the water and saw her lumber in.
I dipped back under the surface and smiled to myself as I swam
to the side. It was so tempting to finish this now - to tell her
she wasn't going to have her old life back - but I wanted to
draw it out as long as I could, enjoying every aspect of it. It
made it more delicious that she wanted to be Melissa. I thought
it was really bloody hilarious.
Reaching the edge of the pool, I climbed the steps without
looking at her. I didn't make any kind of eye contact as she
approached but I smiled to myself.
"I want to talk to you," she said, stopping just behind me. I
didn't respond but I reached down for my towel and started to
sponge the water off my shoulders and chest. "Are you listening
to me? I want to talk to you." Her voice was mewling and
plaintive. Remarkably, even now, when she obviously wanted a
confrontation about our true identities, she continued to use my
voice. It was so ingrained in her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her start to reach forward to
grab my arm and turn me round. I cut it off by snapping, "Don't
touch me!"
"You lied to me," she said, "You said your husband was a doctor.
You said he was gentle and kind. That man I met last night was
the nastiest piece of work I had ever seen!"
I turned to look at her, lowering my eyes to her bulging feet
then slowly lifting them up to her face. I felt nothing but
contempt for her huge thighs, round layered stomach and huge
boobs. Her round face, skin straining to hold in the fat, evoked
only a vague sense of pity and loathing. "I don't have a
husband," I said quietly.
"Don't give me that! I'm not in the mood for that game now! I
want to know why you lied to me Melissa!"
"Be careful," I said, "I told you never to mention our trade. I
gave you very warning. Now that's your second life gone."
* * *
THE ORIGINAL TOPAZ
I gaped at her - at this jumped up cleaner who thought she was
better than me, just because we had swapped roles and I was
struck speechless.
How could she stand there, arms crossed, looking at me in such
a condescending way? Just because she was gorgeous now - because
she was wearing my slender limbs and perfect face - because she
looked like the queen of this house - she thought that put her
on a different level from me. She was going to find out how
wrong she was!
"Don't you dare talk to me like that ignorant little bitch," I
said. "The only reason you're swimming in my pool and wearing my
clothes is because I say so! I can take it all away like that!"
I clicked my fingers in her face. "I've enjoyed playing this
game - don't get me wrong - it's great! But there is a limit and
you would do well to remember that. You can tell me I'm running
out of lives till you're blue in the face but one word from me
and you're out on the street, not even cleaning for a living
anymore and you'll be running back to your husband quick enough.
How long do you think it'll be before you're putting on the
pounds again without me to encourage you? Before six months is
up you'll be as fat as-"
"You?" She glared at me, her arms still folded, a hint of smile
at the side of her mouth.
I saw red but I kept my calm. "Pretending to be me is good.
Ordering me about and telling me off - I can put up with those.
They do add to it. I like it in a kinky sort of way. But you
lied. To me. I want to know why."
She didn't reply immediately. Then she stepped into my personal
space and said, "Be very careful Melissa. I don't have unlimited
patience. I am warning you now that if you go on then you will
lose your last life. If you lose that then I will never swap
back with you. Do you understand that?"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I said do you understand that?" She jabbed me in the chest with
her finger. I stepped back. She jabbed me again. "No one would
believe that you are Topaz. We switched far too thoroughly for
that. We look too identical. We know too much of the other's
life." She jabbed me again. "Why don't you get with the program,
huh? This swap is on my terms now. I'm Topaz. I'm going to swap
back with you if you don't blow it but if you keep insisting on
trying to take control then I will keep this body and life, I
swear!"
I stumbled back to the edge of the pool and teetered there. I
couldn't believe she was saying these things to me but there was
nothing I could say to contradict it. She was right. She did
have all the power. On her say-so she could cut me off from my
past life.
I ran the scenarios through my mind. Would anyone believe me
that I was who I said I was? Short of fingerprints or dental
records they might not!
"You know I'm right, don't you Melissa?" she said, cocky and
nasty.
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes Topaz."
"You don't want to lose your last life, do you?"
"No Topaz.
She raised her finger in front of my face. "Then shut up and go
and do your cleaning then tonight go home and keep your husband
happy, any way you know how. Do you understand that?"
I nodded. "But when are we going to switch back? I'm starting to
not like this."
"When I say so, you fat bitch," she said, jabbing her finger
into my face, "and not before."
I staggered back one more step, swung my arms in arcs to try to
regain my balance, then plunged backwards into the pool.
CLEANER - PART FIVE
I wanted to run to my old bedroom and slam the door but I was so
terrified that she would catch me that I couldn't. I just ran to
the cleaning cupboard, a dark room beneath the stairs with a
chair and shelves on the walls. There was nowhere else that I
felt safe. I fell into the chair, pressed the heels of my hands
into my eye sockets, and burst into tears.
I was soaking wet. My dress was saturated. It clung to my legs.
Rivulets ran down my flesh. I'd barely kept hold of my glasses
during the plunge into the swimming pool and they had misted up.
I had never ever felt this bad- this lost. All throughout my
youth I had had my parents looking after me - providing all the
comfort and reassurance I needed. As I got older I had friends
and staff to do the same. Now though, I had nobody. There was no
one I could turn to for a kind smile or help. Even of those who
knew me as Melissa - my "husband," the other staff - there
wasn't a single one I could trust to be nice to me now that I
needed it. Melissa had never been popular with the other workers
in the household and now I had inherited her life, I had
inherited that stigma.
I cried and cried and cried.
"Topaz" was right. I was trapped in her body and life until she
decided to let us switch back - stuck in this job and corpulence
- stuck with that bastard as a husband. No one would believe me
or help me. If I started rocking the boat then she might live up
to her threat of not letting us switch back.
Up until now I had been convinced that her talk of lives lost
was part of the act - an aid to help me stay in character. I had
wanted this switch. I had pushed for it to go beyond a simple
arrangement. Even if I had wanted to look and act like Melissa,
there was no reason for her to switch with me. I needn't have
given her this position of power and knowledge over me. I
needn't have pushed to swap home lives as well. Even though she
was crossing a line of rudeness, I had still believed that she
was trying to help me live out my fantasies in the way she
thought I wanted. There had been an element of cattiness and
revenge - I had considered that - but I hadn't considered that
she was seriously planning to do me down.
Now, as the tears started to dry on my round cheeks, I started
to wonder if she might even try to steal my life completely.
It jarred with what I knew of her personality. In the months we
had spent working on the switch we had become very close. Until
yesterday there had been no sign of anything resembling that
kind of aggression. Still, it was a possibility now.
I put it out of my head.
I had to think about what I knew for certain. I had to proceed
for now as though what she was saying was on the level.
I pushed the bolt into place on the door to make sure I wasn't
disturbed then I pulled my wet dress off over my head. It was a
strain as much as it ever was now my body was so bulbous but the
dampness made the fabric cling to every bulge. There was a
little radiator in there and I hung it over that. It was going
to smell of chlorine for the rest of the day but I had no other
clothes with me to change into and there was no one around fat
enough to lend me some.
I used tee towels to dry my hair off then sat back down in my
bra, panties and heels. I couldn't bring myself to strip
completely naked and I knew my body heat would dry them in time.
I tried to cross my legs but my thighs were so thick now it was
difficult. I remembered a time when my slinky legs would knit
together perfectly. I used to tuck one foot back round the ankle
of the other leg. Now that was impossible.
I thought about what she said. One life left.
I had to believe that she still meant to give me my persona back
without any trouble if I abided by her rules as long as I
remained in her role. But that meant I had to put up with the
downsides of her lifestyle without even mentioning my problems
to her. I had to fully immerse myself in her existence, becoming
her in every way until she was ready to change back. I was
terrified that she would never want to give up my life the more
time she had to get used to it. At the same time though, if I
pushed it, trying to negotiate with her for an early swap back,
then I would violate her rules.
If she was seriously planning to swap back unless I mentioned
our role reversal again then I could in no way afford to blow
it.
It might take weeks or months - it might take years - but I had
to go on being Melissa until she came to me to say different.
I lifted my hands off my chubby thighs and turned the palms to
face me, considering what that meant. I reached for my glasses,
pulling them off and instantly the room became blurred. I put
them back on and looked down at my bare cleavage, bra straps
cutting into the soft flesh, at my stomach folds and bare legs,
at the chubby feet and high heels.
I tried to conceive of what that might mean - to be stuck like
this. Up to now it had all been a game. I think at a
semi-conscious level I had always believed that a physical
change back could be effected instantaneously - however
ridiculous I knew that was. Fat. Bloated. Poor. Uneducated. It
was a sentence most any woman in the world would be terrified
of.
All my life I had been a survivor though - a winner. This was a
difficult situation but I refused to let it overcome me. If this
was the only way to proceed then I was going to look for the
bright side and rise above it, at least mentally.
I had wanted this - to become Melissa - at first in body and
role about my house, then, as the alterations became addictive,
in everything. Although the power base had shifted, I had got
what I wanted. If anything, losing control of the situation
threw me even more firmly into that position and made my dream
come true. If I was to live in the role of my cleaner then I
couldn't very well still boss her about. I had to become
subordinate.
Yes, that was the way to look at it. I wanted to be fat for now.
I wanted to have a menial job and to worry about everyday
things. My boredom of the wealth and simplicity was what sent me
in this direction in the first place. I had got my wish. Did it
really matter if it had an indefinite period? "Topaz" would grow
weary of the life as I did. She'd want to change back soon
enough.
It was the perfect holiday. I made myself smile. Yes. That was
it. The perfect holiday.
Only the thought of my new husband laid a damp cloth over the
optimism. He was a beast who made me feel defenceless and weak
- who made me cook and clean on demand.
But even that fit the initial goal of this endeavour, come to
think of it. All I had to do was realise what the rules were and
abide by them. The real Melissa before me had obviously done
that and all I had to do was find a similar vein.
I washed my face and hands in the little basin. That made me
feel better.
I sat down, put my elbows on my bare knees, made my hands into
fists and propped my fat face on them.
I was going to beat this now.
I may be trapped in an obese body, I may have no means of
getting back to my old wealth and lifestyle beyond Topaz's whim,
but I was going to relax and enjoy it.
I was going to enjoy being Melissa!
If that meant scrubbing and cleaning without complaint then
going home to wait on my brutish husband then so be it!
CLEANER - PART SIX
Topaz was on a sun lounger out on the patio by the time I got
changed and found her.
Of course there had been spare clothes for me to change into.
Absurd really that it had slipped my mind, although after my
tumble into the pool, I wasn't thinking straight. We had bought
a lot of new clothes when we went abroad and although most of
them had been shipped over to "my" house, there were still some
here.
The outfit I had on was a pale blue sleeveless dress. My chubby
upper arms bulged down the sides. The fold of fat that hung from
my face rested on the semicircle of chest revealed at the top.
My legs were bare and I was still wearing the same low heels. A
little frilly apron dropped in a half moon from my waist. My
hair was dry and brushed straight. My glasses were polished
clean. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right.
Topaz wore elliptical sunglasses with horn-rimmed points in the
upper corners. Her slender body reclined, perfectly fitting the
contour of her expensive chair. One smooth leg was stretched
out, the other was kinked into a triangle. Her eyes were closed
but there was a gentle smile on her face.
Henry, the pool man and gardener, was smoothing suntan oil into
her skin. He worked carefully, smoothing it into her thighs,
adding shine to her pale skin. His shirt was off and for a
moment, as I stared at his tanned muscular back, I remembered
how those strong hands felt on my legs...
But for now, that wasn't to be. I reminded myself of that then
looked away, clearing my throat.
Topaz opened one eye, her face squinting into ugly lines with
irritation. "Ready to lose your last life?"
A ripple of fear passed under the surface of my skin. "No."
"Well then this had better be good. I'm starting to get bored
dealing with you all the time. I've wasted enough time already
and I may have to think about letting you go."
I got another judder of fear, this time at the base of my spine.
She held all the power. I was in a real danger zone. But I made
myself think about the decision I'd made. "I've come to
apologise," I said.
"Have you now?" Topaz closed her eyes again and smiled to
herself smugly. "Henry, leave us for a moment." He got up and
walked back into the house. "Well go on then and then get out of
my face."
"I have been rude and I'm sorry. I have acted crazy, expecting
you to entertain flights of fancy. It is ridiculous of me to
think that I could ever have been you."
"Why ridiculous?"
I lowered my head. "Because you are so very slim and beautiful.
And I am fat. And plain. And I don't talk well enough."
"Go on."
"I know I'm not you and I'm sorry that I went on about it. I'm
not going to again."
"Thank God for that. Are you finished?"
"Yes."
"Because I'm still waiting for an apology about your sloppy
work."
I fiddled with my thumbs down by my waist. "My work has been
sloppy. I'm sorry. I should work a lot harder than I have been.
And I will work harder. A lot harder."
Topaz was grinning. "And I'll expect an extra hour out of you
tonight to make up for the time you wasted splashing about in
the pool and drying yourself off."
"Yes miss." I started to back away.
"And Melissa?"
"Yes miss?"
"I don't want you to approach me again. I don't think it's
appropriate. I'll thank you to remember that I am on the ladder
of society, I am near the top. You on the other hand, are close
to the bottom. If you wish to communicate with me then go
through the proper channels. Is that understood?" She meant
through her butler, Roger.
"Yes miss."
"Well waddle off and get back to work then you fat trout."
* * *
I got down on my knees in front of the servant's toilet,
squirted in some cleaner and started scrubbing, rubber gloves on
to protect my hands.
The reek of it was nauseating. Never before in my life had I
been face to face with something this loathsome and degrading.
But I did it anyway, gritting my teeth.
That conversation with Topaz had set a new theme to our
relationship. In the space of a few minutes I had given up any
last grasping hold I had tried to keep on the reins. She was the
boss. I was the servant. She had complete power over me and I
had given it her willingly.
Before, when I was being forced into this situation, I felt a
strangling constriction. Now, because I had handed everything
with as glad a heart as I could, I felt better. At least in
giving up control I had exerted what little control I could.
Now, officially, I was not going to pressurise her to swap back.
I was going to immerse myself in her life completely.
Scrubbing under the rim of the toilet, I started to train my
thoughts. I put out of my mind all thought of agreements with
Topaz or relationships to her. She was the boss. That was all.
There was no special relationship beyond that. I was cleaning a
toilet, just like all the others I'd cleaned down the years. I'd
been a cleaner all my life and this was just more of the same.
Yes. That was it. Wiping the crusted faeces stuck above the
water line of the bowl was something I had done every day of my
working life and would do every day for the rest of it.
* * *
I spent the rest of the day working harder than I had ever done.
It became easier and easier to put the switch out of my mind as
the hours passed by, until by the end of my shift I think I had
gone for two hours without thinking about it at all.
I was exhausted and I needed a shower desperately, but I was
satisfied that I had done the best job I could. I wanted to go
to her and describe all the filthy jobs I had done but she was
right. It wasn't right that she should have to deal directly
with the likes of me. What I got up to cleaning out drains and
vacuuming was of no interest to a refined lady like that.
When I did reflect on a comparison with who I was now and what
I'd done to who I used to be, it was from the point of view that
I had done a really good job assuming that role. I was
determined to become Melissa even to the extent that I didn't
think a single Topaz thought, so I put each one out of my mind
as soon as it emerged.
I packed away my cleaning things, washed my face and hands in my
basin under the stairs and put on my coat. Then I walked down to
the station to catch the train home to spend the evening with my
husband, determined that this time, I would do everything right
and make the best of it.
CLEANER - PART SEVEN
"My husband" Robert was watching the end music of something or
other when I found him. Sitting in front of the TV seemed like
the only place I ever saw him. Without a job to go to he was
directionless.
He was wearing the same grubby vest I'd seen him in the day
before, the same jeans. He'd slept in them, snoring so loudly
that it had kept me awake. The vest stretched over his huge
belly, riding up enough to reveal a fold of flesh hanging over
his time-worn belt. I looked at his mammoth hairy arms and
shoulders - at the greasy hair receding half way back from his
face and felt my nose and stomach turn. I couldn't believe I was
stuck with this ape. How could my life have reached a point like
this?
But I was determined to make the best of it. The real Melissa
had loved this man. Now I was her, I had to find it in my heart
to do the same.
"Hi Robert! I'm back!" I kissed him on the cheek through his
bristles. This close a surge of body odour closed around my face
but I suspended the breath in my throat and smiled.
I kept my face close to his. He turned his head to look at me.
I looked at his dopey eyes and heavy brow, his crooked nose and
the moustache curling over his lip and I tried very hard to see
what it was that drew the original Melissa to him in the first
place. Then I kissed him on the lips.
"What was that for?"
"I just wanted you to know that I still love you," I said.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes Robert. I am."
He looked uncomfortable. "Why?"
I put on my best smile. "I've been thinking on the way home that
we should both put a bit of effort in to raise the romance - see
if we can liven things up a bit. I was thinking we could go out
to dinner and maybe go to the pictures afterwards. What do you
think?"
"Do you think I'm made of money?"
"Sorry?"
"Why the hell would I want to throw away good money at a
restaurant when I've got you to cook for me here?"
My mind went blank. "Er..."
"And what do you think we've got a TV for? I'm not working
Melissa. You've got some pissy crap job that barely brings home
anything. We can't waste money going to the cinema."
"I just thought it would be nice to spend some quality time
together."
He got to his feet. "Quality time? Is that what you want?"
"Yes. Some romantic time. I just want to make you happy."
He unzipped his fly. "Romance eh? You wanna make me happy, then
I'll be glad to let you. Come 'ere."
I looked down at his crotch. He inserted his hand through the
diamond-shaped gap and twisted it, grasping what was in there.
The hairs on the back of my neck rose, sending a shiver through
the upper layer of skin. "Er, Robert, I think you're
misunderstanding what I wanted to say."
"My life is stressful enough without you coming in here and
demanding I spend even more money I haven't got. Now you're
going to have to pay. Get down on your knees."
"No, look Robert. I was just trying to cheer you up."
"This will cheer me up. On your knees."
"No. I won't do it."
He whipped his hand out of his trousers and charged up to me,
grabbing the hair at the base of my neck. "You'll do whatever I
say you fat bitch! I've had enough of putting up with your shit.
Now get down on your fucking knees!" I tried to stay upright but
he forced me down. "Now you're going to shut your face and do
what I want you to do. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Good girl." He stepped away and pushed through the hole his zip
had made.
I looked at the back of his hairy hand, realising the full
impact what it was concealing was going to have. I had never
done this. Ever. And now, to have to do it for this filthy ogre
was more than my mind could bear. My neck locked up. I couldn't
blink at all. No thought broke through beyond empty senseless
terror.
Robert pulled out his hand and his cock flopped into view,
bulging outwards and stiffening, the circle of foreskin at it's
end retracting from my view as the lip of the purple end pushed
outwards. It stunk of decaying urine. There were flecks of white
on the wrinkled end that shifted as the wrinkles became smooth
and shiny.
He stepped closer. "Come on Melissa. Daddy wants you to suck him
off."
I gaped. I couldn't move away or closer.
I couldn't think.
My sanity was splintering, faultiness spreading across its
surface.
Robert's hands closed around the back of my head. "Come on you
whore. Suck on me."
He shuffled closer again.
He cock was huge, nestled into the nest of dirty hair.
It was only a couple of inches from my lips.
For a moment, revulsion was replaced by a quiver of lust. It
surprised me. I couldn't imagine finding any part of this
experience arousing. Then it vanished.
But I looked up at him, at this huge man towering over me, this
common ugly brute and I got another shiver of it.
He was so masculine - so archetypal - like a primal thing. His
domination of me, his bare pheromone reek, his manly stature,
his careless animal lust - all these things cut into me in a new
way I couldn't ever have conceived was possible.
I looked at his cock again and the lust in my own crotch melted
into being.
I couldn't believe it but I wanted it. I wanted to do this
repellent thing for him. I wanted him to make me do it. It was
a devastating surrender of everything I had ever felt about
myself but Lord help me, I wanted it now more than anything. I
neede