The Ol' Head-Swapping Trick free porn video

The Ol' Head-Swapping Trick By Kayooger PART ONE: MAKING PLANS "So what do you want to do tonight?" Nick asked his girlfriend, Lyla. "The same thing we do every night," she said in a deep masculine voice. "Try to take over the world!" "God, you're a dork," he said, grabbing her in a headlock and tickling her fiercely. "Guilty as charged! Guilty as charged!" she cried in between giggles, until Nick finally released her and she collapsed on the bed, trying to catch her breath. "No fair," she said in a mock pout. "I never get to tickle you like that. You're too big and strong." "You say that like it's a bad thing," said Nick, who stood an imposing 6'2" and a muscular 220 lbs., a physique he had maintained even after he quit the football team sophomore year. "Oh, don't get me wrong: I would never complain about my own personal Adonis," she said, before switching gears and grabbing a copy of the school paper. "Let's see: there's some kind of magic show at Abrams Hall at 7." "First you're quoting Pinky and the Brain and now you want to go see magic?" Nick complained. "What are you, 10?" "On a scale of 1 to, sure," she said with a grin. "Come on! It'll be goofy, and it'll be over in time that we can still hit the PKE party if you want. Please?" Nick looked at her. He didn't like to admit this, because it gave him grounds to make fun of her, but he liked Lyla's occasional childish impulses. He put on his best hangdog face and said, "All right, you win." "Yay!" she said, and gave him a peck on the cheek. **** "So what do you want to do tonight?" Tammi asked her boyfriend, Dan. "I don't know, whatever," Dan said from the living room couch, where he was glued to his 67th viewing of "Anchorman." "You decide. Just make sure you wear that skirt I like. You know, the one that shows off your ass." Tammi sighed. She liked Dan, but he could be so crude and tactless sometimes. She knew he was only interested in her body -- which, Tammi thought proudly, was one of the best on campus, tight and curvy in all the right places -- but wished he wouldn't be so obvious about it all the time. Then again, she had to admit, it wasn't like she was into him for his keen intellect. She leaned over her laptop and surfed through a few sites listing on- campus events. There was going to be a magic show at Abrams Hall. As a little girl, Tammi had always loved watching magic tricks, but she hadn't seen any since her 12th birthday. She looked over at Dan, who was reciting dialogue along with the movie. "You said whatever I want, right?" she asked. "Sure, babe," he said, without taking his eyes off the TV, as he quoted, "60 percent of the time, it works every time." PART TWO: TWO VOLUNTEERS Nick had to admit to himself that the magician, Terry Pronk, was pretty good. He had figured half the crowd would be drunk and ready to heckle, but everyone was having a good time. A lot of the tricks were things he had seen on TV when he was a kid, but they were done with energy. And despite his best efforts, Nick couldn't figure out how he was pulling any of them off. "How's he getting the toe wiggling effect after he cuts the girl's body in half?" he whispered to Lyla. "The compartment's too small for there to be an entire extra girl in there like I figured." "Shhh!" she whispered back. "You're ruining the fun!" Pronk put the girl in question back together, and she kept putting her hands to her midsection with an odd look on her face as the crowd applauded. "And now," said Pronk, a short, thin guy in his early 30s wearing a Metallica t-shirt, jeans and a neon blue tuxedo jacket, "for my final trick, I'll need two volunteers: one man, and one woman." Nick was about to tell Lyla that she should volunteer, but before he could, she had forced his hand up in the air and was yelling, "Him! Him!" "Ha ha," said Pronk, "it seems someone is eager to take a break from their boyfriend for the evening. Come on up, sir." "I thought you'd want to do this," Nick whispered to Lyla. "Nah," she said with a grin. "It'll be much more fun to see him do whatever he's going to do to you." Nick walked to the stage and Pronk did a double-take at his size. "Whoa," the magician said. "We've got a big one here, folks! Now I just need an equally striking female volunteer." Tammi was debating whether to raise her hand when Dan did it for her, saying, "Her! Her!" "Dan!" she whispered. "Hey, you said you loved magic," he said. "And he said he wanted a hot girl; nobody hotter in this room than you, baby." "I see we have no shortage of people willing to volunteer other people to face the unknown," said Pronk. "What do you think, young lady?" Tammi looked at Dan, annoyed at his presumption but also curious. He was right; she had always wanted to be part of a trick. One of her earliest daydreams was to be the gorgeous magician's assistant. "Why not?" she said, and walked towards the stage. "What's the worst that can happen?" PART THREE: THE TRICK Nick, aware that Lyla was only a few rows away in the audience, tried not to stare too hard at the brunette girl who had volunteered to join him. But it was hard, as she had one of the hottest bodies he had ever seen up close, and she was showing it off in a tight miniskirt that barely covered her crotch and a belly-baring t-shirt with a plunging neckline to show off her ample cleavage. Fortunately Pronk provided a distraction by wheeling out two large cabinets, one slightly taller than the other. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, you may have seen this trick before, but not this way," said Pronk. "I hope I have the measurements correct, or this could be very dangerous." In a loud stage whisper, he said to Nick and the brunette, "Just kidding... I hope." The doors on each cabinet were in two pieces, a very long one at the bottom and a shorter one near the top with a large oval hole in the center. He opened up both doors on the shorter cabinet and beckoned the brunette to go inside. The hole in the top door was positioned for her face to peek out, and there was a smaller hole in the bottom door for her to poke her hand through. Pronk handed her a handkerchief, as Nick had often seen magicians do, to wave back and forth as proof she was still in there for the duration of the trick. "And now you, my strapping male volunteer," Pronk said, opening the larger cabinet for Nick. Nick stepped inside, turned to face the crowd and saw Lyla blow him a kiss as Pronk shoved a handkerchief into his hand and instructed him to keep waving it no matter what happened. "Now, ladies and gentlemen," said Pronk, "prepare to be amazed as I separate this guy and this girl's heads from their bodies." "What the?" Nick said, and the crowd laughed. "Don't worry, don't worry," said Pronk. "As I said, you'll be perfectly safe... probably. I learned this trick from the best: Morgan Mandrake. Of course, he was drunk at the time, so..." The crowd laughed again as Nick saw Pronk pick up two large, square metal razor blades. "The gentleman first, I think," said Pronk, and before Nick could even brace himself, he felt... ... well, he wasn't sure what he felt. He could still feel his hand waving the handkerchief back and forth, but it seemed distant somehow, like the hand was numbed with Novocain or something. Then he heard a few girls in the crowd scream as he realized that his point of view was shifting rapidly. First he was even higher up than before, then swinging to one side, and then down at what seemed like the floor level of the stage -- and, though his peripheral vision wasn't great at the moment, he was pretty sure his eyes were only a few inches above the stage itself. "What happened?" he said, starting to feel very scared. "Oh, I'm sorry," said Pronk. "I should give you a better view." Suddenly Nick realized his head was turning, and he was looking at... himself. Or, rather, the majority of the box that had been holding his body, minus the top door part. He could see his hand still waving the handkerchief, and as a test he made the hand stop waving, then drop the hankie, then ball itself up into a fist. "Holy shit!" he screamed, as half the crowd screamed with him while the other half applauded wildly. "Trick's not remotely over yet, ladies and gents," said Pronk, and Nick saw him move over to the cabinet containing the brunette, who did not look happy at the moment. "Please tell me you know what you're doing," she said. "Oh, I assure you, I do," said Pronk, and before she could protest some more, he slammed the second razor blade right into a slot at neck level, undid a few latches and removed the box containing the brunette's head. He waved it around, then laid it down right next to Nick's, so they were almost facing each other. "Um, hi," Nick said, half in shock. "Hi," said the equally dazed brunette, as the crowd laughed again. "I'm Tammi." "I'm Nick," he said sheepishly. "Ah, I see you've come to introductions!" bellowed Pronk. "Very good, because now you're going to get the most spectacular introduction possible!" Nick was about to ask what he meant by that when he could feel himself being lifted up again, waved around so he could see the entire crowd -- including Lyla, who was cheering wildly -- and then placed on what seemed at first to be his old torso box. But something was off, and as the crowd began to laugh even louder than before, he realized his view of them was different than it had been at the start of the trick. He was further to the right... and lower. As Nick tried to make sense of where this was going, he heard the crowd ooh and ahhh and then laugh yet again as, presumably, Tammi the brunette's head was lifted back up. He heard Pronk walk back over and declare, "Now I'm going to remove the blade, young man, so be ready. In 3... 2... 1..." Nick didn't feel the blade come out, but he did feel sensation returning to his body -- and quickly began to realize that everything was wrong. For one thing, his hand was still holding a handkerchief, and he knew he had dropped it. Nick whispered, "Oh God, oh God, oh God," under his breath over and over as he heard Pronk unlatch the doors. He opened them up and the room *exploded* with applause and laughter, far more than ever before, as Pronk offered him a hand to help him step out. Nick did so... ... and his worst fears were confirmed as he heard the click of a high heel touch the wood floor of the stage. He looked down, and there was a large pair of breasts staring up at him. He held up his hands and found petite, soft digits that were well-manicured with long fingernails painted a creamy brown. As Nick stared at himself in shock, Pronk said, "Perhaps I spoke too soon about the 'young man' part." Nick's new, smaller hands began exploring this body. He was afraid to touch the breasts directly, but he reached behind and found a very round, very firm pair of buttocks, then reached around and felt a flat stomach, then stood with his hands held right in front of his crotch, terrified to confirm by touch what he knew would -- or wouldn't -- be there. To distract himself he looked over at the other cabinet, which Pronk had just opened, to let out the most bizarre thing Nick had ever seen: the brunette's gorgeous head on his tall, ripped body. She looked down at herself, then over at Nick, and as the applause built to a crescendo, she did something unexpected: She passed out. PART THREE: A COMPLICATION Tammi woke up alone, staring up at a ceiling fan. She tilted her head slightly and realized she was lying on a desk at the front of one of the Abrams Hall classrooms. She moved a hand to rub her eyes and immediately recoiled at the sight of a large, slightly hairy, very masculine paw where her own hand should have been. She sat bolt upright, looked down at herself and realized it wasn't just the hand that was masculine, but the entire body. "What the fuck?" she screamed. The door to the classroom opened and in came Dan, Pronk the magician, some cute blonde Tammi didn't know, and, teetering on a pair of very familiar high heels, that guy Nick's head on her body! "Um, hey babe," said Dan, clearly uncomfortable. "What did you do to me?" she barked at Pronk. "Please relax, miss," said Pronk. "I can explain everything. Don't worry." "Kind of hard not to," said Nick, who was idly fumbling with his -- Tammi's -- breasts. "How is this even possible?" asked the blonde. "Well, you see," said Pronk, looking a bit embarrassed, "I'm a magician." "We got that already, bro," snapped Dan. "No, I mean I'm a real magician -- as in, I can do real magic," he said. "Not a lot, but a few tricks like the levitating and sawing in half and, in this case, the ol' head swap trick." "I can't believe that," said Tammi, trying very hard not to think about what was now between her legs. "I think we have the evidence right in front of us," said Nick, who finally perched himself on the edge of the desk to get off his feet. "So you can switch us back?" asked Tammi. Pronk's face turned redder and he looked down at the floor. "Well, you see..." "Oh my God," said Tammi. "Please don't tell me I'm stuck like this!" "Bro, you are in for a major ass-kicking," snarled Dan. "Oh, no, no, no," said Pronk. "I can fix you. It's just that there's a window. I either have to do it immediately after the original swap -- which I couldn't do after she passed out -- or I have to wait at least 72 hours." "72 hours?" said Tammi. "I can't be stuck like this for three days!" "Yeah!" agreed Nick. "I'm sorry," said Pronk, "but it's much too dangerous to attempt it in between. Please, trust me. I'm doing a show down at the High Hat Club on Tuesday night. Come see me after it's over and I'll put you both back to normal, no problems at all." "How do we even know you're going to be there?" said Nick. "How do we know you're not just going to bail and leave us stuck like this?" "Because it's against the Magician's Code, and if I don't follow the Code, I lose whatever powers I have," he said. "That sounds like bullshit to me," said Dan. "Fine," Pronk sighed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope stuffed with cash. "This is my take of tonight's gate. You hold it as collateral and give it back to me after I've switched you back on Tuesday night." As Dan snatched up the envelope, Nick and Tammi looked at each other and realized there was nothing else they could do. "So, um, what do we do now?" asked Nick. "I would strongly suggest going to sleep," said Pronk. "A swap like this can put a real strain on the body, and whatever other issues you have can wait until morning." "Okay, so how do I find you?" Tammi asked Nick. "You have my phone in your pocket," he told her. "And I guess I have yours. I'll call you." Tammi smiled faintly as she felt her new flat behind to find a slim cell phone in one of the pockets. It was the first thing that had happened all night that seemed logical. She saw that Dan was holding her purse, grabbed it and gave it to Nick. "All my stuff's in here," she said. "Call me tomorrow morning and we'll talk." "Take good care of my body," he said. "Yeah, you too," she replied. "This is so weird," said the blonde. "This is so gross," said Dan. PART FOUR: A TEST DRIVE "How the hell do you girls walk in these things?" Nick complained as he stumbled into his apartment, leaning on Lyla as he had for most of the walk home. "Oh, poor baby," Lyla said in a lightly mocking tone. Nick collapsed in a heap on the couch and kicked off the high heels. He realized that his toes were painted the same creamy brown as his fingernails. "Hey," he said, wiggling them around. "I match." "You know," said Lyla, a smile expanding on her face, "we really ought to check out the rest of the merchandise before you go to sleep. On your feet, mister." Before Nick could do anything to stop her, Lyla grabbed his slender arms and pulled him up -- a stunt she never could have done if he was in his own body. "Now strip!" she commanded, still grinning. "What?" Nick asked, confused. "I want to see what kind of body I'm going to be sleeping next to for the duration. Hurry up." Nick could have argued, but he had to admit that he was curious, too. Tammi did have a hot body -- he just wasn't sure if he could deal with seeing it naked and attached to himself. "Okay," he said, and pulled the belly shirt over his head, then pushed the barely-there skirt down to the floor. He reached behind him but couldn't for the life of him figure out how to undo the bra clasp from this angle. "Why don't you take off the panties and I'll help with that?" offered Lyla. "Unhooking your own bra takes a little practice." He stepped out of the thong panties and exhaled as he felt the bra unclasp and his breasts left unencumbered. "Holy crap!" said Lyla. "What?" asked Nick, staring down at what looked like two very large, very shapely breasts with puffy nipples. "I hate you," said Lyla, pacing around him and studying him from all angles. "You have a much better body than me." "You have a great body," said Nick. "I'm okay, but you're like one of those Vargas girls I used to have pictures of on the wall of my freshman dorm. Come here and see for yourself." She led him over to the tall mirror on the door to the bathroom and Nick did a double-take at the sight. The breasts were as large and perfectly-shaped as they seemed from above, his legs were long and toned, he had real hips and, as he turned to look at himself from the side, an ass he could cook things on. And, both horrifying and fascinating to him, there was a well-groomed triangle of black hair on his crotch, leading down to... "Holy crap," he said under his breath. "That's what I said!" Lyla said, slapping him playfully on the arm. "Ow!" he complained, before returning to stare at his bizarre new reflection. "That hurts a lot more when you do it to this body!" "Interesting," said Lyla. "And how about this body?" Nick turned around and saw that Lyla was now naked, too, her clothes in a heap on the floor. "What, you want to do a compare and contrast?" he asked, puzzled. "No, because we know who'd win," said Lyla, who was tall, thin and pretty but not that blessed in the curves department. "I just wanted to inspect your body a little more closely." She pressed her naked body against his and placed her hand on the small of his back, then moved it slowly down around the curves of his behind, around his hip and then onto his thigh. Nick literally jumped away from her. "Whoa!" he said. "Something wrong?" she asked, smirking. "No, no, I mean, I mean, that felt great, but I didn't think you'd want to, you know, do things with me while I'm like this," he said, starting to feel a bit flush. "Nicky, you know I experimented with girls before we started dating," she said, advancing on him. "What's the point of going to college if you don't? And I like you enough that I want you to have the pleasure of experiencing a female orgasm for yourself." "Well that's, um, nice of you," Nick said, not sure how to react to this -- to any of it. "Oh, it's going to be a lot better than nice," Lyla said as she bent down and began sucking on Nick's nipples. He moaned with pleasure, and the moans only got louder as Lyla slowly worked her tongue down his torso, then around his thighs and finally to his clitoris. "Ohmygod! You are the best girlfriend ever!" he exclaimed. This was the last sentence he'd be able to coherently utter for quite some time. PART FIVE: GOING SOLO "This is so fucked up," Dan whined, for at least the 50th time since they had left Abrams Hall. "Could you stop saying that, please?" asked Tammi. "I'm freaking out enough as it is without you making it worse." They approached the door to her apartment, and as Tammi reached for her purse to take out the key, she remembered that she had given it to that guy Nick. Thankfully she had a spare hidden in the fire extinguisher case around the corner. "Good thing I keep this around," she said while unlocking the door. "Otherwise we'd be sleeping in your tiny bed tonight instead of my big one." "Yeah, about that," said Dan, refusing to look her in the eye. "What?" she asked. "I don't think it's such a good idea for me to sleep with you tonight," he said. She looked down at her transformed physique and felt as embarrassed as she had so far. "Okay, I guess," she said, her lip trembling slightly. "But come on in and hold me on the couch while we watch a movie or something. I don't want to be alone tonight. I can even sleep on the floor if you want." "Don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't want to touch you right now," he said. "Don't take it the wrong way?" she asked, her voice rising with indignation. "How am I supposed to take it?" "I don't touch dudes, okay?" he shrugged. "And right now, you're a dude. A big, strong dude." Before Tammi realized what she was doing, she had grabbed Dan by the shirt scruff, lifted him several inches off the floor and shoved him up against the wall. "That's right: I'm a big, strong dude!" she said, furious. "But I'm also your girlfriend, and I'm in the middle of the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and any guy who's serious about being my boyfriend might, you know, want to comfort me in my time of trouble!" Before, Dan had looked slightly queasy. Now he just looked scared. "Let me down!" he begged. "Please!" Tammi took a breath and realized what she was doing. She let Dan go and he slumped back down to the floor, breathing heavily. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the envelope Pronk had given him, and shoved it at her. "Here," he said. "Take this. I'm out." He stood up and quickly started walking down the hall. Tammi stared at the envelope in her hands, then at her (ex?) boyfriend walking away from her in her time of crisis, and as she tried to fight back the tears, she yelled, "You're a worthless piece of shit! And you have a tiny dick! I bet mine is bigger right now!" He didn't look back, and she went inside the apartment, alone. She tried to do some normal things -- drink a beer, watch TV, check her e- mail -- as if nothing had happened, but finally decided she had to face the reality of the situation. She went into the bedroom and stood in front of her mirrored closet doors. "Oh my God," she said. This was her first real look at her new physique, and it was bizarre. She was much taller -- taller even than Dan, or any other guy she'd ever dated -- and she could tell even under these clothes that she was pretty ripped. She pulled off the long- sleeve T and saw, indeed, that she now had a six-pack -- no, she realized, a 12-pack -- a broad, powerful (and, she noticed with some queasiness, hairy) chest and arms that were bursting with muscle. She flexed her arms for a few moments, then kicked off the sneakers and dropped her jeans to confirm that her legs were as strong as her upper body. "Only one thing left to check," she whispered, bracing herself for what was to come. She could see the bulge in her boxer briefs, and after a deep breath for courage, she pushed the underwear down around her ankles and stared at the mirror rather than face it directly. It was, she had to admit, not as big as she had feared (or maybe hoped?). Actually, it was on the small side for the guys she had dated -- almost cute, really, if she could refer to her brand-new penis as cute. She looked at her massive hands and feet, then back at her cock and laughed. It was the first good feeling she'd had in hours. "I guess what they say about guys with big hands isn't always true," she thought. She was crying again, but this time the tears were at least equally of laughter as they were of her fear of this transformation -- and of being left alone by that douchebag Dan. She decided to go to sleep. "I don't want to be a boy," she sighed as she climbed into a bed that now seemed much smaller than it had the night before, even without Dan in it. **** Something felt different when Tammi woke up the next morning -- and not just because she was now a guy. She lifted her head from the pillow and saw a large tent forming in the sheets around her midsection. She had her very first morning wood, she realized. She pulled back the sheet and gasped at the difference in her cock now that it was hard. It was purple instead of pink and at least twice the size. "No, more than that," she gasped. She couldn't resist touching it, and immediately moaned at how good her hand felt on the shaft. She stroked it up and down and slammed her head against the pillows to temper the overwhelming sensations of pleasure she was feeling. "Fuck me," she said, as she continued to do just that. PART SIX: TRADING NOTES Nick kept his arms folded tightly against his large, bouncy chest as he walked nervously towards the student union. Walking around like this was one thing when it was at night and he had Lyla with him, but alone and in the light of day, he was afraid -- either of being noticed as a girl or of being noticed as a guy with tits. He couldn't decide which would be worse. He and Lyla had debated how best to dress for his breakfast meeting with Tammi. Nick wanted to find some way to look like a guy, but Tammi insisted his curves in front and behind would be too hard to disguise. She suggested he go all out as a girl, even wear makeup to feminize his chiseled facial features. Finally they compromised: he wouldn't try to hide his new assets, but he wouldn't flaunt them, either. Instead he was wearing a pair of Lyla's sneakers, some of her sweat pants (which were tighter than he wanted, since Tammi and Lyla had different proportions) and one of his own, very large school sweatshirts. He had on a clean white baseball cap and sunglasses; anyone who looked closely would recognize his face, but he was hoping no one would. He scanned the tables at the student union for Tammi, his gaze finally settling on what looked like a guy wearing an almost identical outfit to his own: white baseball cap, sunglasses, school sweatshirt. As he walked over and looked more closely, he could just barely recognize a girl's nose and lips hidden underneath. "Tammi?" he asked, to be sure. She looked up at him and laughed. "Hey, you're not supposed to wear the same thing as me!" "I didn't think to coordinate," he shrugged. "I don't want us to look like one of those couples that dresses alike." She stood up and he had to stop himself from flinching at being so much smaller than her. She reached out a large hand, he placed his dainty one in it, and they did a very delicate, clumsy handshake. "So, um, how was your first night as a woman?" she asked as they sat down, and was surprised to see him blush. "It was... interesting," he said after a moment. "What?" she asked, intrigued and a little nervous. "What did you do?" "Nothing, nothing," he said, his cheeks getting redder. "Come on, it's my body. You have to tell me what you did with it." "Okay," he said, looking over one shoulder, then the other. He leaned in and said, "Lyla taught me the true meaning of the multiple orgasm." Tammi laughed. She hadn't been sure how to bring up her own adventures as the opposite sex, but he had beaten her to the punch. "What?" he asked. "I got to jerk off for the first time ever this morning," she said, almost giggling. Now Nick was really blushing. "You, you played with it?" "You betcha," she said. "Didn't seem that impressive at first, but it rose to the occasion. Who knew?" "Yeah," he laughed. "It always gets much bigger when it's happy." Having broken the ice with the most embarrassing information first, the two began to swap stories, first about their respective boyfriend/girlfriend --"What a dick!" Nick exclaimed on hearing about how Dan had left Tammi in her hour of need -- then into more biographical information, like Dan's stint as a football player, Tammi's wealthy family, first pets, everything. Before either one realized it, a nearby church was ringing its bells, signaling the noon hour. "Man, time flies when you're having fun with the girl who has your body," Nick said. "I promised Lyla I'd report back in time for lunch." "Okay, but we need to get together again so we can borrow some clothes," said Tammi. "The only stuff I have that fits is this sweatshirt and what you were wearing last night. And we need to set up some ground rules until then." "Like what?" "Like sex," she said. "You had my body for all of a couple of hours and already you're getting frisky with your girlfriend. What are you going to be doing by tonight?" "That's it, I swear!" he said, blushing once again. It was really cute, she thought, to see what was obviously a very macho guy get this flustered. "I have a girlfriend. And, besides, being with another dude... that'd be weird, wouldn't it?" "I don't know," she said. "I mean, you're technically a woman for the moment. Aren't you the least bit curious to get the full experience while you can?" "So, what, are you going to go out and get laid with one of your girlfriends?" he asked defiantly -- maybe too much so, Tammi thought. Was he afraid to admit that he was already thinking about sex? "Oh, I hadn't really thought that far," said Tammi -- though, she had to admit, she had checked out a couple of girls on her walk from her apartment. "But would you have a problem with that, if I used protection?" "Um, I guess not," he said. "I didn't think you'd be interested in that. So you're, um, saying that, like, if..." He couldn't bring himself to finish the thought, so she grinned and did it for him. "Yes, if you somehow find yourself in a situation where sex with a guy presents itself, feel free, just as long as he's wearing a rubber. Deal?" They stood up and shook hands. "Deal," Nick said. "I, uh, I have to go see Lyla. I'll come by around 2 with some clothes, okay?" Nick turned around and stumbled away, and Tammi giggled again as she watched him go, struggling to keep his now ample hips from swaying this way and that. "Huh," she thought. "Dan was right. I do have a great ass." She began to walk, though she had no destination in mind. As she was debating which one of her friends would freak out the least at seeing her with this new physique, a football came skidding towards her feet. She picked it up and saw a bunch of guys on a vacant lot across the street looking expectantly at her. "Little help, bro?" the nearest one asked. Tammi had five brothers (she was the only girl), so she'd played enough football in her day to know how to toss a tight spiral. But to her amazement, the ball sailed way over the first guy's head, all the way to guy who was standing furthest away, maybe 40 or 50 yards, easy. "Whoa!" said the first guy. "You want to play with us? We're a man short." Tammi thought about it for a second. "Why not?" she said in an artificially deep voice, figuring she might as well test the limits of her new strength the way she'd tested out her penis that morning. She made like she was scratching the back of her head as she checked to make sure her hair was firmly secured under her hat, then trotted across the street. She studied her new teammates, as well as the opposition, and realized she was easily the biggest "guy" there. This was going to be fun, she thought. PART SEVEN: TRADING CLOTHES... AND PARTNERS Nick sat outside Tammi's apartment, clutching a duffel bag filled with t-shirts, underwear, jeans, and various other outfits Lyla had insisted he put in to give Tammi some options, even though she'd only need the clothes for a few days. "Girls like to have choices about what they're going to wear," she had said. "Even ones who aren't really girls at the moment." Nick had thought about mentioning his conversation with Tammi about sex and ground rules, but he wasn't sure how Lyla would respond to it. On the one hand, she had been awesome about this whole bizarre situation so far, and it wasn't like he was thinking about being with another woman. On the other, they had been dating long enough that proposing sex with another person -- even under these circumstances -- might lead to a long and stupid argument. He heard footsteps coming up the walkway and assumed it would be Tammi, but it was... Dan, Tammi's boyfriend, looking very chastened -- and then, after he recognized Nick, surprised. "Um, hey man," Dan said. "What are you doing here?" Nick held up the duffel bag. "Tammi needs some clothes that fit for the duration. What are you doing here?" "I, uh, I had kind of a bad reaction to the whole thing last night," Dan said sheepishly. "So I heard." "And I came to apologize. I really, really screwed up." Nick shivered from the cold. "That you did." Dan eyed him differently. "Hey, you cold?" "Yeah," said Nick. "Well, the heat's working overtime in Tammi's apartment, but better to be too warm than too cold, right? Let's go inside." Nick hesitated. He didn't want to enter Tammi's place without permission, and Dan seemed like kind of a tool, besides. "Come on, I know where she keeps the spare key, and I just want to apologize." Another shiver ran through Nick's smaller body, and he finally gave in. Dan fetched the key and they entered Tammi's apartment -- which, as promised, felt almost tropical in its heat. "Damn, she needs to call the super again," said Dan, who pulled off his sweatshirt. The tight t-shirt underneath exposed a very impressive physique, not as big and powerful as Nick's own body, but ripped and proportional in a way that Nick couldn't help but find very pleasing to the eye. Nick tried to take his mind off that by studying the d?cor of the apartment, but after a few minutes, the heat became too much for him as well. While Dan was off in the kitchen getting them some water, Nick pulled off his own sweatshirt, immediately feeling some relief from the heat, but realizing that the t-shirt underneath was already damp with sweat. "Wow, maybe I should have stayed outside," Nick said to himself. "Worst I would have dealt with was erect nipples." "God damn," Dan said behind him. Nick turned around, saw Dan gawking at him, and self-consciously folded his arms in front of his breasts. "What?" Nick asked. "I just can't get over seeing you with that body," Dan said, sounding both confused and spellbound. "I love that effing body, but..." "But I'm a guy, I know," said Nick, nervous. Dan took a step closer. "This is so weird, but I'm really turned on right now." Nick was afraid to admit that he was, too. Dan might be a tool, but he was a good-looking tool, and at the moment, Nick's new female hormones were, to his amazement, running the show. "Could you take your top off?" Dan asked, like he said that to guys all the time. Nick tried to focus on the knowledge that Tammi could come home any minute, but he was too overwhelmed by a desire to see where this was going. Fooling around with Lyla the night before had been amazing, but Tammi's body seemed to be craving the touch of a man. Nick blushed and took off the shirt. He started fumbling with the bra clasp, but before he could make any headway, Dan had slipped behind him. "Here, let me do that," Dan said, and with one swift motion, the bra was unhooked and Dan's hands were grasping Nick's breasts and massaging his nipples. Nick moaned with pleasure and said, "I can't believe we're doing this." "You and me both, pal," said Dan. PART EIGHT: OUT WITH THE GIRLS Tammi felt exhilarated. She had absolutely dominated the football game, combining Nick's strength and innate skill with her own knowledge from years of playing against her brothers. She had blown by defenders on offense, knocked people down on defense and, when it became clear to everyone else that the new "guy" (Tom, she had called herself) was by far the best player on the field, had even gotten to throw the deep ball at quarterback. She had long outgrown her tomboy phase -- it had been years since she'd broken a sweat outside the bedroom or her spin class -- but couldn't deny the high of kicking ass like that. "Maybe later I should go lift weights," she thought. "See how strong I really am like this." As she walked up to her apartment she realized that, even though she was running late for her scheduled meeting with Nick, he was nowhere to be seen. She shrugged and figured she'd take a quick shower before he arrived. But when she opened the door, she was greeted with a stunning tableau: Nick was completely naked and bent over her kitchen table, moaning and panting, while Dan -- her Dan! -- was behind him, thrusting rhythmically, his tongue stuck out the way it always was when he had sex with her. "What the fuck?" Tammi screamed. Both guys stopped and looked at her, shocked and clearly embarrassed. They both tried to explain, but neither got much further than saying her name before Tammi yelled, "Fuck you both!" and stormed out. By the time she had reached the street, she was in tears. She barely knew Nick at all, but he had seemed like too cool a guy at breakfast to do this to her. And Dan? Dan who had been repulsed by her only the night before out of some kind of homophobic panic? "That fucker's dead to me," Tammi thought, then realized that she needed somewhere to go. She sure as hell wasn't going back to her apartment for a while -- a very long while. Finally she set course for the apartment shared by her best friends Lindsay and Kim. She hadn't told either of them yet what had happened - - it was too soon, and too weird -- but she needed a refuge now. She knocked on their door and Lindsay, a petite redhead answered. "Um, can I help you?" Lindsay said in a flirtatious voice, clearly not recognizing Tammi with her new body and the baseball cap and shades still in place. "Linds, it's me," Tammi said, pulling off the cap and shaking out her hair. "Tammi." Lindsay froze in disbelief. "Are you shitting me? What happened to you?" "I'll explain inside, please," Tammi insisted. Lindsay was too stunned to prevent her from entering. "Linds, who was at the door?" asked Kim, who emerged from the bathroom, clad only in a towel, her hair wet from a just completed shower. She saw Tammi and did a quadruple take -- two for the sight of what appeared to be a strange man in her living room, two more for the recognition of Tammi's head atop this big male body. Under the circumstances, she did the only sensible thing: she screamed. After a few minutes of general hysteria, Tammi was able to calm her friends down enough to explain about Pronk's magic trick. "Damn," said Lindsay. "This calls for the heavy alcohol." "They very heavy alcohol," agreed Kim, who headed for the freezer. Forty minutes later the vodka bottle was half-empty as Tammi finished telling the full story of Pronk, and Nick, and Dan, and Dan and Nick. She noticed that her friends were clearly feeling the booze, but despite having consumed just as much -- if not more -- she was only pleasantly buzzed. One of the benefits to bigger body mass, she thought. "I just can't believe it," said Kim. "This shouldn't be possible and yet... look at your big masculine self." "Tell me about it," sighed Tammi. "Hey, can you flex for us?" asked Lindsay. "Um, sure," said a puzzled Tammi, who flexed her right bicep. Lindsay reached over and touched it. The feeling of her hand was definitely pleasurable, Tammi had to admit. "Wow, our best friend is an Adonis," Lindsay said. "Can I try something?" Tammi asked her. "I want to see how hard it is to pick you up." "Sure," said Lindsay. A second later she was airborne, easily held over Tammi's head. "Awesome!" said Lindsay as Tammi put her back down, looking very pleased with herself. "Screw the muscles," said Kim. "I want to get a look at her package." "What?" said Tammi, her face flushed. "No!" "Oh, come on!" insisted Kim playfully. "When are we ever going to have this opportunity again? Whip it out!" "Tammi's got a penis! Tammi's got a penis!" Lindsay sang, and they all began to giggle. Grateful for anything to keep her in this good mood after the fiasco at her apartment, Tammi sighed and said, "All right, but I should warn you: it's not that impressive at first." "Like we haven't both seen a million dicks already," said Kim. "Speak for yourself, slut," laughed Lindsay. "So come on, Tammi. Let's see it!" Tammi undid her jeans and pushed them down along with her boxer briefs. The other girls stared at her crotch like art connoisseurs studying a particularly challenging painting. "Huh," said Kim. "I'm glad you didn't oversell it." "Yeah, I was thinking it would be bigger until you said something," said Lindsay. Now Tammi began to feel embarrassed on behalf of her borrowed organ. "Now wait a minute, wait a minute," she insisted. "It gets bigger -- much bigger, in fact." "Ahhh," said Lindsay, intrigued. "So you're a grower, not a shower? Where have I heard that before?" "I call bullshit, Tammi, sorry," said Kim, smirking. "It's true!" insisted Tammi. "I had an enormous erection this morning!" "Okay, first, you have no idea how bizarre it is to hear that sentence come out of your mouth," said Kim. "Second, what did you do about it?" "What do you think I did?" said Tammi, blushing again. "I took care of it." "No way!" marveled Lindsay. "Hey, if this Nick asshole is having sex with her body, jerking off seems the least she can do with his," said Kim, whose eyes began to narrow -- an expression Tammi knew from experience meant Kim had some kind of wicked idea forming. "What?" she asked. "Well, it occurs to me that we should give you an opportunity to demonstrate your full length and girth, while finding a way to explore the outer boundaries of our friendship." "Are you talking about what I think you're talking about, Kim?" asked Lindsay. "Three-way," said Kim, who beamed as she dropped her towel to the floor. "Guys, I don't know about this," Tammi began to protest, but before she could say anything more, Kim began stroking her cock, and she was paralyzed with the pleasure of it. Touching herself that morning had been nice, but it was nothing compared to this -- and that was, in turn, nothing compared to the violent waves of pleasure that went through Tammi as Kim knelt down and put her mouth around it. After a few high-pitched moans, Kim paused for a moment, looked up at Tammi and said, "You weren't lying, boss. We've got a grower on our hands." Kim returned to the job, and as Lindsay began to undress, Tammi wondered how in the world she'd ever be able to talk to these two after things returned to normal. A moment later she became incapable of any coherent thought at all. PART NINE: WOMEN'S FASHION Nick sat on Tammi's couch, completely naked and paralyzed by guilt and fear. He couldn't believe that he had let some random guy have sex with him -- worse, Tammi's asshole ex-boyfriend. He had liked Tammi, and this had clearly hurt her. Worse, as soon as Tammi stormed out of the apartment, Dan tried to act like nothing had happened. "Come on, I gotta finish!" he had whined to Nick, who wasn't having it. "I'm not in the mood anymore," Nick had said. Dan had glared at him, and for a half second Nick was terrified that Dan was going to get his way by force if he had to. Thankfully Dan had just zipped up and bailed, leaving a trail of obscenities behind as he went. It was the first time anyone had ever called Nick a cock-tease, he thought. So now he was all alone and feeling overwhelmed by the experience. How had he lost control like that? And how was he going to get through the next two days if the borrowed hormones were that powerful? Finally he stood up and headed for Tammi's bedroom. After all he had come over to borrow some clothes, and given Tammi's angry exit, this might be his only chance. He went through her underwear drawer and debated whether to only take some plain white stuff or experiment with the fancier lingerie. Finally he decided on some of each, and just for the hell of it picked out a lacy black matching set of bra and French-cut panties. He had figured out by now that he could get a bra on himself by putting it on backwards and then turning it around, and as he studied himself in the mirror, he had to admit he liked how the panties accentuated his hips and curvy ass. After tossing some pants and t-shirts into a bag, he decided to check the closet. If nothing else, he needed an outfit to wear home, as the clothes he'd been wearing needed to be washed of his own sweat and Dan's stench. He had resisted trying to dress like a woman that morning and had gotten fucked anyway; suddenly he felt an irresistible need to show off the curves he had been trying to hide. It couldn't be worse, right? He held up a series of dresses -- some slutty, some not -- before settling on a little black dress with a plunging neckline and a relatively high hem. It fit him like a second skin, yet wasn't uncomfortably tight. "Now all I need are some shoes," he thought, and began scanning the contents of the shoe caddy on the back of the closet door. "Wonder if I can walk in heels." He found a pair of black pumps that seemed to his untrained eye to match the dress, sat down and squeezed his feet into them. Now these, he had to admit, were uncomfortable. And when he stood up, he immediately felt like his ankles were going to break. "What is it Lyla always says about walking in heels?" he thought. Then he flashed on her saying, "Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe." And he began gingerly pacing back and forth across the room, one foot placed immediately in front of the other. He probably couldn't walk a runway, but whatever muscle memory he had inherited from Tammi would be enough to get him home, he hoped. He studied his reflection in the mirror. It was definitely genderfuck, but if you didn't focus on his face, he looked pretty damn sensational in that dress and heels. After laboring over a letter of apology to Tammi -- he wasn't sure exactly what the right words were for a situation like this -- Nick grabbed the bag of clothes and headed out. Dusk was only just beginning when he stopped out of the building, and as Nick walked across campus, his pumps click-clacking rhythmically on the sidewalk, he was amused by all the confused stares he elicited. Only one person, a clearly stoned guy, actually had the nerve to come up to him and say, "Dude, are you like a guy or a girl?" Nick laughed, said, "What do you think?" and kept on strutting his stuff. PART TEN: AGRESSION THERAPY "When do I get to punch something?" Tammi asked Kim. "Soon, soon," Kim insisted. "Calm down, stud. You'll get to put those big muscles to use in no time." It was the morning after the unexpected threesome, Tammi's second full day as a man. After waking up on the middle of Kim and Lindsay's floor, still blown away by all the things they had done to each other, Tammi had gotten dressed and returned to her apartment. Thankfully Nick and Dan were long gone, but Nick had left a note: "Dear Tammi, "You have no idea how sorry I am about what you saw. I don't know what came over me, but there's no excuse. Even though we talked about sex and ground rules, screwing your boyfriend (ex?) was completely unacceptable. If it makes you feel any better, he turned out to be just as big an asshole with me as he was with you. "I understand if you don't want to see me again until it's time to switch back on Tuesday night. I left a bag of clothes on your bed, and I borrowed some in return. I'll try to take better care of the clothes than I did of our new friendship. "Sincerely, Nick." It was actually a sweet note, Tammi had to admit -- just as she had to admit, based on the previous night's activities, that they were both inclined to do strange things sexually for the duration of the swap. But while her logic center could make her want to forgive Nick, her emotions couldn't. She intended to keep her distance from him other than the few minutes it took to change back. She had checked her bedroom to see what clothes Nick had left, and what he had borrowed. "Perv took my favorite little black dress," she had sneered after taking inventory. "Probably always wished he could wear one before." Now she was at the student fitness center with Kim, her large body coursing with adrenaline. Kim, who picked up extra cash as a personal trainer, had walked Tammi through a heavy-duty weight-lifting circuit. Despite her awesome new size, Tammi was still shocked to realize how much she could lift. As Kim had placed one heavy plate after another onto the barbell, Tammi's eyes had widened in fear, but she had bench- pressed the entire thing with relative ease. Having exercised every muscle group -- and this body had a lot of them -- it was time to for a boxing lesson. Tammi had laced up the gloves and was looking forward to knocking the hell out of some guy she could pretend was an unholy mixture of Dan and Nick. "So who am I fighting first?" she asked Kim. "Easy, slugger!" said Kim. "You may be a strapping young lad, but you don't know how to throw a good punch, let alone box an opponent. We're going to start you on the heavy bag and work up from there." "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Tammi asked, disappointed, as she lined up in front of the heavy punching bag. "Absolutely," insisted Kim. "A lot of my clients -- male and female -- think it's more fun than a regular workout. And if I can teach girls with little old girl-sized arms to throw a good punch, I ought to be able to make a prize fighter out of you." They spent a long time working on the proper stance and motion, even taking a break to practice in front of a mirror. Tammi had spent a lot of time in her life admiring the body God gave her in the mirror. This was not that body, but she began to feel tremendous pleasure and pride as she began capturing the proper punching form. Soon she was walloping holy hell out of the heavy bag, each time picturing one or both of her enemies' faces on it. "Damn, maybe we should cast you in the next Rocky movie!" raved Kim after Tammi had punched herself into exhaustion. "If you still have this body tomorrow, we'll have to try it with a sparring partner." "I'll still have it tomorrow," Tammi said. It was the first time since the swap that she felt the least bit sad that she would soon be switching back. PART ELEVEN: CONFESSION As Nick walked to the student union, he realized how glad he was to have enrolled only in lecture classes this semester. Even in his "drag king look," as Lyla had dubbed his attempts to pass as a guy by wearing baggy clothes, he drew funny looks. And even if he could pass as a guy, he was still more than half a foot shorter and far skinnier; any small seminar class where the professor and all the students knew would have devolved into nothing but a discussion of his altered physique and gender. As it was, he had made a point to sit in a different part of the lecture hall for his Econ class, just to avoid encountering any of his friends. Even after the fiasco with Dan from the day before, he was still interested in -- at times obsessed with -- the idea of having sex with another guy, but he didn't think he could deal with the fallout if it was a guy he knew. First, though, there was the matter of Lyla, who was waiting for him at a table, a big smile across her face. He had mostly avoided her after the Dan/Tammi incident -- thankfully, she was way behind on her senior thesis and needed to spend a lot of time at the library -- but the moment of truth was now at hand. She stood up to greet him and kissed him on the cheek, then held out a chair for him. "Can I say how much I love being the one who leans down to kiss you, instead of the other way around?" she said. "Lyla..." he said slowly. She looked at him and her expression immediately changed to one of suspicion. "Okay, who'd you do?" she asked, matter-of-factly. "How did you..." Nick asked, stunned. "Sweetie, you're walking around with two loaded guns in the front and two more in the back," she said. "Frankly, I'd be more surprised if you hadn't." "I'm so, so sorry," Nick insisted. Lyla gave him a dismissive wave. "Look, this is the weirdest situation any couple is ever going to have to face. I think we have to give each other a mulligan on anything that happens until you're back to normal." Nick was amazed. Once again, he had the world's greatest girlfriend. But wait, he thought... "'We'?" he asked. Lyla grinned. "Thought that would make you nuts. But no, I haven't done anything -- at the moment. Of course, I'm more used to being a girl and have control over my own hormones. So spill, already! Who'd you do?" Nick paused, afraid to say it. "Are you blushing?" she asked, enjoying herself far more than Nick would have expected, given that he was about to confess an infidelity. "It was... Dan," he said, bowing his head. "Nooo!!!!" Lyla said, so loudly that heads from around the student union swiveled to see what the commotion was about. Nick got her to quiet down and slowly, with much attendant humiliation, told her the story of what had happened with Dan, and then with Tammi. "Boy, she must hate you right now," said Lyla. "First you steal her tits, then her man." "I know, I know," sighed Nick. "And I can't believe how bad I wanted him -- how bad I want any guy right now, it feels like. It's like, I *need* cock. It's embarrassing." "No, it's not, sweetie," said Lyla, touching his delicate hand. "It's called being a really hot girl." PART TWELVE: MORE COMPLICATIONS After what seemed at times a blur and at others an eternity to Tammi, Tuesday night finally arrived. As promised Kim had set her up with a sparring partner, and Tammi had beaten the guy so badly that, even in headgear, he gave in after a few rounds. (She had felt a little bad about it.) She had felt compelled to skip most of her classes, not wanting to deal with stares and pointed questions from her teachers and classmates, so she had spent most of the last two days at the gym. She had thought about asking Lindsay or Kim if they wanted to fool around some more, but could tell that both of them -- Lindsay in particular -- wanted to treat it like a one-time-only night of drunken weirdness. So here she stood, waiting for Nick so they could share an awkward cab ride down to the High Hat Club and get switched back. But it wasn't Nick alone who showed up at the designated meeting time, but Nick and his girlfriend, Lyla. While Tammi herself was just wearing jeans and an Under Armor shirt, Nick and Lyla were both dolled up, Nick in the purloined little black dress and heels -- and what looked, to Tammi's eyes, like lipstick. "Are you wearing makeup?" she asked, incredulous. "Uh, hey, Tammi," Nick said, sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess so." "We wanted your body to be dressed nicely when you got it back," explained Lyla, who was hailing a cab, "and since we were going out like this, I figured I'd experiment and see what I could do to make the face match the bod." Tammi was still pissed at Nick, but as they climbed into the cab, she realized she was oddly intrigued. She studied Nick's painted face. "I see what you were trying to do here, but I don't think it quite worked," she said. "Those cheekbones are too sharp even for a fashion model, and you didn't use enough powder to soften the jawline." "I know, I know," said Lyla, as Nick shifted uncomfortably between them as they each studied him like a zoo specimen. "Plus, I would need to wax his eyebrows, and he didn't want to go for that." "I don't blame him," said Tammi. "It'd hurt like hell, and we're going to get switched back in a few minutes, anyway. But this is an interesting start. If we were going to stay switched longer, I might be able to do some interesting things with this face." "Don't say things like that," said Nick. "You'll jinx us!" "Oh, like you believe in jinxes," said Tammi. "I do after this!" said Nick, gesturing to their switched bodies. "Then what kind of jinx do you suppose sleeping with my boyfriend got you?" Tammi sneered. "Girls, girls, girls!" Lyla said. "I think we have bigger problems on our hands." She pointed out the cab window, and they saw two fire engines parked in front of the charred remains of the building that had housed the High Hat Club. "No, no, no!" said Tammi, panicked. "This isn't happening!" The spectacle had caused the cab driver to stop, and Tammi got out of the cab and ran up to the police barricade, where a cop was trying to shoo away rubberneckers. "Officer, what happened?" she asked, frantic. "Some asshole magician was doing a ring of fire trick and some asshole drunk knocked it over and... kerflooie," said the cop. "Do you know what happened to the magician?" "I think they're putting him into that ambulance over there," the cop said, pointing behind him. "Why?" Before he could stop her, Tammi burst through a gap in the barricade and rushed to where the paramedics were wheeling a burned and seemingly unconscious Terry Pronk into their ambulance. Tammi grabbed the jacket of one of the paramedics, terrified. "Is he going to be okay?" she implored. "Get your hands off me, buddy!" the paramedic complained. When Tammi released him, he said, "we don't know yet. Everything burned to a crisp in there. Frankly, he's lucky to be alive. You family or something?" "No," Tammi sobbed. "Just a victim." PART THIRTEEN: TRAVEL PLANS "What the fuck do we do now?" Tammi loudly demanded. "How the hell should I know?" screamed Nick. "Would the both of you please quit your whining? I'm trying to think!" insisted Lyla. "That's easy for you to say," said Tammi. "You're not an involuntary transsexual." They were on the sidewalk outside St. Mary's hospital, having been asked to leave the burn unit after Tammi started knocking over gurneys in a Hulk-like rampage. "I know that, but I also don't want my boyfriend to have a vagina for the rest of his life!" snapped Lyla. "Oh my god, I'm going to have a vagina for the rest of my life!" moaned Nick. "Look, there's gotta be someone else who can do this trick, right?" said Lyla, finally getting the other two's attention. "You're right!" said Tammi. "Didn't he say in the middle of the trick that he learned it from someone else?" "Yeah," said Nick. "It was some kind of double-M name. Morgan something or other." "Morgan Mandrake!" said Lyla. "I remember now!" They hightailed it in a cab back to Nick and Lyla's apartment, Nick and Tammi each nervously eyeing their old bodies, wondering if this was as close as they'd get to them in the future, and booted up Lyla's computer. She Google'd the name Morgan Mandrake and got more than 300,000 hits. "Look, he has his own website!" pointed Nick. MorganMandrake.com showed a picture of a trim, handsome man in his mid- 40s with a devilish-looking goatee and an expression to match. "Click on Touring Schedule," said Tammi. Lyla did, and they saw that Mandrake was early into a six-month stretch of shows at a Las Vegas casino. "Looks like we're flying to Vegas," said Nick. "No, you're not," said Lyla. "Why not?" "Look at the two of you," she said with a laugh, the first one any of them had had since discovering the fire. "Do you think airport security is going to let either one of you through? You still have your old faces, so it's not like you can swap ID's or anything, and Homeland Security is going to have a lot of questions for someone whose driver's license says they're a guy but who has tits like that." Nick and Tammi looked at each other and realized Lyla was right. After brainstorming for a while, they decided that Tammi and Nick would take Tammi's car on the two-day drive to Vegas, while Lyla would stay close to home in the event Pronk woke up and had anything useful to say. "So we get to be in the car together for two days," Tammi said. "Just great." PART FOURTEEN: ROAD TRIP "Would you get your shoes off the dashboard, please?" Tammi complained. "I don't want you to scratch the upholstery." "Fine," said Nick, who kicked off his shoes and put one bare foot out the window, the other back up on the dash. "This is kinda nice. I'm usually too big to stretch out in the car like this." They were only a few hours into the trip and already Nick was getting on her nerves. He had shown up wearing a belly shirt and a pair of cut- offs that Tammi recognized as having once been a pair of her jeans. "What the hell are you wearing?" she had asked. "It's going to be hot in the desert," he had said. "Besides, now that we're getting away from people I know, what's the harm in flaunting my assets?" "They're my assets," Tammi had grumbled. As Nick had climbed into the car, she noticed that he had left his suitcase on the curb, clearly expecting her to do the heavy lifting into the trunk. After losing a staring contest with him, she had done exactly that. "You're really getting off on this girly-girly thing, aren't you?" she asked now. "Oh, you're one to talk," Nick said, as he enjoyed the way the breeze felt on the bare foot dangling out the window. "I see the way you admire your biceps when you think I'm not looking, and I heard you beat the crap out of some guy at the gym." "It was a boxing match," she said, defensively, then, after a beat, "But you're right. It is kind of fun to be this big and strong for a little while. I just don't want to stay this way." "And it's kind of fun to be this hot," he said. "And ditto." As Nick stared out the window, Tammi began to stare at him. Strange as it was to think this about her own body -- especially attached to some guy's head -- but it really was hot. She roamed from his dainty foot keeping time to the car radio, up his supple calves, along his firm thighs to the point where they disappeared into the denim, around the curve of his ass to his bare, taut midriff. "What are you doing?" She had been so caught up in gawking at him -- in a way that, no doubt, many men had gawked at her over the years -- that she hadn't noticed he was looking at her. "Were you checking me out?" Nick asked, amused. "Just making sure you were taking good care of the merchandise," Tammi tried to cover. "You were checking me out!" Nick laughed. "I love it!" Embarrassed and trying to change the subject, Tammi pushed the one button she probably shouldn't have. "Did Dan check you out like this?" she asked. "Was he just drooling all over you before he fucked you against my kitchen table?" "Oh my god!" complained Nick. "I said I was sorry! I wrote you a note!" "Yeah, and I can take that note to my therapist when this is all said and done." "Look, I feel bad and all, but you need to man up already and quit whining if you want us to get through this trip without killing each other!" "Man up," Tammi sighed. "That's what I get to do now, is man up." PART FIFTEEN: A DANGEROUS STOP "Really?" Tammi asked. "You want to go in here? This place looks like a dive." "Yeah, but it looks like an authentic American dive," Nick said. "Plus, the sign says they have the best chili fries in the state." "No way are you getting chili fries. They'll go straight to my ass." "Whatever, lord and master. You're the boss of the car and now you're the boss of the menu. Whatever." The rest of that day's driving had been very quiet, mainly because neither wanted to say much to the