The Foster Mom's New Daughter - Part Six
By Katherine Day
(Copyright 2007 by Katherine Anne Day)
(Dedicated to and inspired by Angelo, of Rome, Italy)
Synopsis: Orphaned at age 14, Angelo is a delicate boy, and after a
miserable year living with his aunt and her family, he is placed in
foster care with a woman who has always wanted a daughter. Angelo
finds comfort in often living and dressing as Angela, a lovely 15 year
old girl; he befriends a girl with whom they share girly ventures, with
Angela's obvious prettiness attracting the attention of boys. Yet,
Child Welfare services is threatening to remove Angelo from his new
foster mother, and put him in a place where he'd be forced to be raised
as a boy, a prospect that horrifies him. He runs away into the big
city and is saved from being enslaved to become a prostitute and finds
temporary shelter in a home for abused girls. Soon, he is expected to
return to his foster home and his school.
Chapter 11 - Adventure in the Big City
It wasn't easy to get the County Child Welfare Department to change its
ruling that Mary Elizabeth Dayton was not the proper foster parent for
Angelo.
Angelo's first morning at the home for troubled teen girls, many of
them runaways, was a marvel to him. In the eyes of all of the girls
(and most of the staff), he was a troubled 15-year-old girl whose name
was Angela and who arrived the previous night after being picked up at
the bus station.
"Did that Wendy woman come on to you?" one slender, almost anorexic
African-American girl asked as they gathered, along with 14 other girls
for a breakfast of oatmeal, toast, orange juice and bananas.
"Yes," he answered, in a shy, almost reluctant voice. "I was afraid of
her."
"Good you were," the girl said. "By the way, I'm Charlene. They tried
to pick me up, too."
"I'm Angela," he said. "She sat next to me on the bus, too. I was
scared."
"Angela, I'm not sure your ready for the big city," Charlene said.
"Did you know why she was after you?"
"She said she had a place for me to stay, but I didn't know what she
meant. She was scary, and so was that guy with her."
By now all the others were listening in on the conversation, and
several had begun to laugh. Angelo knew they were laughing at him; did
they suspect he was really a boy, he wondered?
"No, honey," a large, chubby girl named Jo Marie interjected. "They
wanted you to whore for them."
"Oh?" Angelo said, suddenly realizing how na?ve he was about the ways
of the world.
"You should have gone with them," Charlene said. "You're just what
they want. So darn pretty and cute. And white, too."
"I bet she's a virgin, too," Jo Marie chided.
Angelo was embarrassed, and obviously showed it. He quickly realized
the girls here had much more experience with life on the streets than
he did. He looked down at his food, saying nothing. Suddenly, he felt
a fear that he was in a situation in which he was incapable of
protecting himself.
Maxine was a tall, Amazon-like girl; she had been sitting opposite
Angelo, saying nothing but looking at him steadily through breakfast.
Angelo looked at her several times, quickly averting her gaze each
time, not sure want to do about Maxine's intense interest in him.
"Oh yes," Maxine finally said, in a deep raspy voice. "Those white
boys would pay a fortune to enjoy your white virgin cunt. You're too
cute for words."
Angelo forced a smile, looking at Maxine, hoping she'd stop.
"Cat got your tongue cutie," Maxine continued. "Maybe later, I show
you how it's done."
Charlene suddenly interjected: "Shut your back fat black mouth. Leave
Angela alone. Can't you see she's frightened?"
Suddenly Angelo began to cry. He felt so alone in this foreign place.
These girls frightened him; he had never been to the Big City, and here
they were talking about sex and things about which he knew little. He
wished now to be in the warm arms of his mummy, his foster mother, Mary
Elizabeth.
Charlene placed a light hand on his arm, patting his arm
sympathetically, helping him to stanch his flowing tears.
At that moment, Karen, the community worker, entered, yelling: "All
right, girls. Finish your meal in the next five minutes and we'll have
a little meeting in the lounge. And be kind to Angela, please."
Later, as they walked out of the dining room, Maxine appeared alongside
of Angelo, her strong hands grabbing his slender bicep, and whispering:
"Sweetie, you need some education. I'll get to you later."
"What you want? Leave me alone?" Angelo said.
"Oh the little baby girl wants to be let alone," Maxine said
sarcastically, suddenly leaving Angelo and charging out onto the back
porch, probably to smoke. (Smoking was prohibited, but for the most
part the staff looked the other way, realizing the vice at that time of
the girls' lives was the least of the girls' problems.)
Karen called Angelo into a side office after the meeting, telling him
that things weren't going well. The Milwaukee County Child Welfare
agency had talked with Angelo's home county child welfare department,
and failed to change their thinking about Angelo's placement.
"They're convinced you're being corrupted by Mrs. Dayton," Karen said.
"But she's not corrupting me. She's made me so happy," Angelo said.
"I know, but to them you should be raised in a masculine setting. They
feel they have a responsibility to see that you're a young man ready to
enter the world on your own at age 18," Karen explained.
"Oh, they're awful. Can't they see I'm a girl? Oh not totally, but a
girl anyway."
"I know Angela," Karen said, still using his feminine name.
Karen told Angelo that the law required her to turn him back to his own
County foster care program. "I have no choice. If I don't, I will
lose my job," she said.
"Oh Karen, you've been so nice. I don't want you to lose your job."
"I know you don't, honey. But I can delay getting you back for a day
or so. In the meantime, maybe something can be worked out."
Karen then said that she had talked that morning with Mary Elizabeth.
She said his foster mother told her that Michael and Heather had been
working on his behalf, too, but had little success with the Gay Rights
Group. The Gay Rights group, she explained, rarely assisted
transgendered persons, claiming that gays and lesbians had enough
issues to deal with.
Michael, however, went to the ACLU, she said, and they were interested
in his case.
"What can they do?" Angelo asked.
"For one thing, the might seek a court injunction prohibiting child
welfare from removing you from Mrs. Dayton's home."
"Really. They can do that? Permanently?"
"No honey, just until the case is considered in court."
Angelo smiled, to learn that his foster mother and his best friend's
sister and her boy friend cared enough about him to try to help him
remain with Mary Elizabeth, and to continue to explore his femininity.
"It's a civil rights issue," Karen explained. "The foster care system
has no right to interfere with your need to live as a boy or a girl or
as some combination of that. A least, that's the point the ACLU is
trying to make."
Karen explained further that the case would be difficult to win, since
transgendered persons currently are not protected under any anti-
discrimination laws; the state, however, did have a law protecting
persons against discrimination for sexual orientation, that is, being
gay or lesbian.
"Oh? " Angelo pondered. "So nothing's certain, yet?"
"Not really, honey. But just stay as sweet as you are. You have lots
of people on your side."
Karen explained that Mary Elizabeth would drive to pick him up the next
day; in the meantime, Michael and Heather will be seeing if the ACLU
can get the injunction. Angelo smiled at the prospect of seeing his
"mummy" again.
"You should be able to stay with Mrs. Dayton," Karen said. "She's
treated you well, but you will likely have to continue to try to live
outwardly as a boy."
"That's OK. I was doing that, Miss Karen."
"Now, go out and mingle with the other girls, honey. We'll be having
some classes on feminine hygiene starting soon. It won't hurt you to
learn about that; maybe you'll have second thoughts about becoming a
woman."
Karen smiled when she said that, giving Angelo a hug as they parted.
*****
Angelo returned to his room after the morning training session; the
girls had been shown a video on proper cleansing of their female parts,
as well as renewed education on the dangers of having sex, especially
with multiple partners.
Maxine, the tall muscular girl, and Jo Marie, the chubby girl, spent
much of the session giggling and making fun of the instruction. It was
apparent the two girls had become close; they were sitting next to each
other, their thighs touching. Angelo noticed one of them would touch
the other, on a thigh or an arm.
Maxine and Jo Marie, along with several other girls, acted as if the
session was a bore. Angelo instead found it interesting, and
intriguing.
His room in the shelter had once been a huge walk-in closet at the
mansion, and a twin-sized bed was tucked in, under a high shelf. A
small, square window let in light, and was open to let in the breeze.
It contained only the bed and a dresser and one plastic, patio chair.
Despite its tiny, cramped space, Angelo liked the room, perhaps because
it was painted in light, airy colors, mainly pinks, light blues and
yellow. There was one large picture, showing little girls in bright
costumes dancing around the maypole, each one holding onto a brightly
colored ribbon.
He lay curled upon the bed, caressing one of his arms with his other
hand, enjoying its slender, soft smoothness. He loved how tender and
girlish his body was, further confirming his need to be female.
Despite the warmth of the place, Angelo had a gnawing fear; most of the
girls in the shelter scared him. Most of them appeared to be street-
smart, tough and hardened. He, on the other hand, despite his
difficult life thus far, had been somewhat sheltered. He knew nothing
about sex and love; he had been terribly shy throughout all of his
schooling. He knew his physical weakness would make him easy prey for
others looking for mischief. Indeed, he realized that probably most of
the girls in shelter could beat him up easily.
Maxine and Jo Marie scared him immensely. They were both big girls and
appeared to have a nasty streak. Sitting in the lounge with the other
girls he realized how terribly ill equipped he was to be in the city
this big, without friends or family. And, yet, he could hardly return
home and face being removed into another household or group home where
he'd faced bullying and teasing for his feminine ways.
He was day-dreaming about how prettily his foster mother had dressed
him for their outing to the play and dinner when the door to his room
opened suddenly, causing him to bolt upright in the bed to see Maxine
and Jo Marie burst into the room.
"There's the sweet little Angela," Maxine said sarcastically. "She's
too pretty and tender to sleep in the dorm."
"Yeh, she's probably fucking Melvin," said Jo Marie who grossly fat
body jiggled as she laughed. She was dressed in boy's clothes, and her
hair was cropped. Her pale white face was pimpled as she jumped on the
bed, pinning Angelo down before he could respond.
"Yeh," added Maxine, towering over the scene, her black skin rippling
with muscles, making her look masculine, except for the rather small
breasts that poked out of her black tank top. "She thinks she's a high
class ?ho.'"
Angelo was now pinned under the huge pillow of fat that constituted Jo
Marie. The girl was sweating profusely and a stale smell almost made
Angelo want to gag. Angelo tried to topple the big girl off of him,
but he was too weak to move her; suddenly, he felt Jo Marie large lips
upon his, and he tried to cry out, but she kissed him hard, blocking
any chance for him to scream for help.
Now, Maxine was on the bed, too, and the bed moved precariously as if
to collapse under the weight of the three of them.
"Let's see if you still got your cherry," Maxine said. "Get off her,
Jo Marie. You'll suffocate her, piggy girl."
Jo Marie climbed off the bed, but she continued to hold Angelo down,
placing one hand on his narrow chest and another on his mouth to
prevent him from screaming. Maxine, in the meantime, had removed his
Capri pants and was moving to take off his panties.
"The girl has no breasts at all," Jo Marie said. "Won't make much of a
?ho.'"
Angelo tried hard to keep his legs together to hide his penis, but
Maxine's strength made that impossible, as she grabbed his panties at
the top and began to pull them off. Angelo was powerless against the
both of them and he began crying, scared about what was to happen to
him.
The panties came down, and Maxine stopped after she had pulled them
down to his knees. Angelo knew she had seen his penis, which was in
its soft state, and must have looked tiny to her.
"Lookie here," Maxine said, slowly.
She grabbed the penis and pinched it hard, holding it between a thumb
and one finger.
"We've got ourselves a sissy here," Maxine announced. "Ever see
anything so tiny?"
Jo Marie lifted her hand from his chest, but kept a firm hand on his
mouth, which was still enough to prevent him from rising or crying out.
"Oh my god," Jo Marie said. "She's a boy."
"Well, not much of a boy, I'd say," Maxine said.
"What should we do with him?" Jo Marie asked.
"Let suck that thing, see if it'll work, but he's such a sissy, I doubt
it."
"I know," Jo Marie said, "Let's use that dildo we brought for her pussy
and use it on her ass."
"But not before we suck this girl," Maxine said.
"Me first," said Jo Marie, moving her fat hand off his mouth and
grabbing his penis, which had stayed limp and almost recessed into his
crotch. Soon, both girls were fighting, seeking to be the first to
suck Angelo's withered penis.
He screamed as loud as he could before Jo Marie returned her hand to
cover his mouth. Suddenly her hand was released and the two girls got
up to leave the room, only to be halted by a loud male voice:
"What are you doing in here?" It was Melvin, and he had stopped them
from leaving.
Angelo was now sobbing noticeably, tears streaming down his face. He
lay on his bed, his panties down about his knees, his penis all pink
and reddened from being handled roughly.
Melvin could see clearly what had happened, and soon several other
staffers joined them, but not before Melvin had Angelo pull up his
panties and put on the Capri pants. Maxine and Jo Marie were paraded
off, and Karen entered the room, closing the door and sitting on the
bed next to Angelo.
"I bet you had quite a scare, didn't you honey?" Karen ran her hand
gently on Angelo's shoulders as he began sobbing again.
She stayed there for several minutes, and then said, Angelo would be
safe, since they were going to keep an eye on the room to assure no one
bothered him again.
"I'm going to have to make some phone calls," she said. "I'll be back
soon."
"Karen, oh Karen. What's going to happen to me?"
"Darling, we don't know now. Everyone here will know you're a boy and
we can't keep you here any longer."
She left the room, and Angelo's sobbing continued, as his pillow grew
wet. His chest hurt from the pressure exerted by the fat Jo Marie, and
his penis was sore. Angelo began to curse his pathetic state of being,
whether it was his terrible physical weakness as a boy or his failure
to be a genetic girl.
"I am a girl. I am a girl." He said those words aloud, haltingly
through his tears.
*****
Mary Elizabeth arrived at the shelter that afternoon, having been
called by Karen and told that they could no longer keep him there, due
to his being outed as a boy. It was less than a two-hour drive from
the foster mother's city to Milwaukee, and she got there about 4 p.m.
"Technically, Mrs. Dayton still has custody of you," Karen explained to
Angelo. "Therefore, we will be safe in releasing you to her. What
your County Welfare Department does now is up to them."
"Oh, Miss Karen, you've been so wonderful to me," he said. "I'm sorry
I've caused you trouble."
"You haven't dear. Girls like Maxine and Marie Jo cause us trouble,
but they're being sent to juvenile detention for their attack on you.
We can't keep them here."
Angelo was silent for a moment. He really hated to see anyone put in
detention, but realized they had attacked him and exposed his secret.
"I guess that's OK," he said finally. "But I'm sorry they have to be
in detention."
"I know, Angela, but they did attack you, and we can't have that going
on here. This is a safe place for all girls."
When Mary Elizabeth arrived to pick up Angelo, he was still dressed in
girl outfits, the Capri pants and pink, girl's tee shirt. He raced to
her, receiving her hugs eagerly. It was a quiet ride home, and Mary
Elizabeth broke an uneasy silence in the car, by saying:
"I'm so mad at you. You scared all of us half to death. We had no
idea where you went."
"I know mummy, and I'm sorry, but I was so afraid they were going to
take me away and make me live as a boy," Angelo said.
"Oh honey, we love you and we're doing everything we can to assure that
you can stay with me."
Mary Elizabeth outlined the work that Heather and her boy friend were
doing with the ACLU, and said that for the time being, Miss Pentecost
had relented, saying that they will take another look at the situation.
"I think they're afraid of going to court on this," she told him.
"But, to the outside world, you'll have to remain as a boy and wear
only boy clothes."
"Ok Mummy." He smiled, knowing that he could stay with Mary Elizabeth,
and find some moments to be his girly self.
Chapter 12 - School Days
By Thursday, Angelo was back in school, having missed only two days of
the new semester. With a note from Anna Simms, his foster care worker,
that the system had to some "paper problems to sort out" as his excuse,
his teachers accepted him back without question, giving him some back
work to do.
Angelo was pleased that morning that he was hardly noticed by the other
kids in his classes. He was content to sit quietly in each class,
observing the others and saying nothing. As he walked the hallways, he
realized that, even though he was dressed totally in boy's outfits (as
a result of his foster mother's insistence to keep Child Welfare
happy), he still must have looked like a girl, with his long hair
flowing and his light airy girlish mannerisms. Fortunately, there were
other effeminate boys in this arts specialty school, and with the
exception of the few bullies in the hallways, Angelo felt relatively
safe and content. And, he told himself, I feel like I'm a girl, as he
literally pranced down the hallway toward the ballet class.
"Oh, here's Angelo," screamed Cecilie, as he entered the classroom.
"You're back. What happened?"
Before he could answer, Eric, his effeminate mannerisms on full
display, danced over to place his arms about Angelo, hugging him, and
saying quietly into his ear: "I'm sooooooooo glad to see you, girl."
"Oh, Eric, get your hands off him," demanded Cecilie.
Eric dropped his hands, put his hands to his mouth and gave a demur
pout, moving aside.
"Angelo, you're blushing," Cecile said. "You're so cute when you
blush."
Angelo realized the Eric must have figured him out, that he was just as
much a girl as Eric was; and that he really felt like a girl. Eric, he
realized, was wearing the same type sweat outfits for class as the
girls were; in his case, he wore gray sweat shorts, a pink girl's tee
shirt and white ballet shoes. With his dreadlocks and slender frame,
he truly matched the girls in the class.
Angelo merely told the group there had been some problems with the
foster care system and that it was all ironed out now.
Miss Satterstein welcomed Angelo and talked to him briefly before class
began, telling him to change into his ballet sweats outfit; she said
that he hadn't missed much in dance forms in the two days he was gone
since she had mainly given the class background in the history of
ballet, showed some videos and some basic steps.
"Just so you know, Angelo," she told him, "We'll be doing mainly dance
steps for girls, since you and Eric are the only boys in the class.
It's important you learn those steps, and then I'll give the two of you
some lessons meant for boys as time permits. Is that OK?"
Angelo merely answered, "I guess so," hiding his growing enthusiasm to
be doing female rehearsal steps and, deep in his dreams, to become a
ballerina.
The class that day was spent almost totally on basic positions and some
easy steps. Yet, Angelo found his legs growing pained as he tried to
hold positions, or make short dance steps. He realized his legs were
not strong; indeed, most of the girls seemed to be handling the pain
better than he was. At the end of the session, he was truly panting.
Eric and he changed in a boy's restroom, located off the classroom.
Again, Eric addressed him as "girl," as they sponged themselves off
before putting on their street clothes.
Angelo didn't protest his use of the word "girl," merely smiling coyly,
prompting Eric to say, "You should call me Erin. Now, what's your
girl's name? I bet you're Angela."
Eric giggled as Angelo blushed fully now. "See, I knew it. I can see
you're just like me."
Angelo nodded as if to agree, but then said: "No, I'm a boy. I have
to be a boy," he protested.
"You can't fool me," Eric persisted. "I think we'll both enjoy being
one of the girls in this class. And, you, Angela, my dear, are as
pretty as any of the girls in this class."
Angelo was about to protest, but then the bell rang, signaling that
they had to leave for their next class.
It was lunch time then and Cecilie steered Angelo to the same lunch
table at which they had eaten on Angelo's first day in school. Cecilie
was busy gushing over the fact that Angelo had returned to the school
that he hadn't paid any attention to who was at the table as they
approached with their trays.
"Oh Angelo, you're back," yelled Maxine. "Come sit with us."
"Oh hi," Angelo muttered, before he realized there was another boy at
the table. And, in a glance, he was in shock. He had seen this boy
before.
"You know everyone here," Marie, a tall, striking blonde girl said,
"Except for my friend, Jason."
"Nice to meet you," Angelo said, putting his tray down, quickly
averting the other boy's glance. He finally realized who the boy was:
it was Jason the boy who had mooned over him at the mall during the
summer when he was masquerading as Angela.
It was apparent, though, that Jason was too interested in his friend,
Marie, to notice Angelo, as conversation at the table picked up. Soon
Angelo was giggling with the girls as he did the first day of school,
while Jason and Marie carried on their own tight conversation, speaking
so low that the others couldn't hear.
As the lunch hour was about to end, the group got up to return their
trays to the wash line. Angelo found Jason at his side.
"I think I know you from somewhere," he said to Angelo.
"Oh? I'm new here." Angelo responded.
"I know I've seen you before."
"I doubt it," Angelo said, placing his tray on the conveyor belt and
hurrying away.
Jason followed close behind. "You look so familiar. Oh well, nice
meeting you Angelo."
Angelo breathed a sigh of relief as the two headed down different
hallways to their next class sessions. Jason must have recognized him,
but so far, he knew him only as a girl; dressed in boy clothes, Jason
couldn't figure out where he'd seen Angelo before.
Angelo knew he'd have to steer clear of Jason; but how could he, with
Jason being so friendly to Marie, and with whom he'd likely be eating
lunch in weeks to come. Yet, Angelo later in the day found himself
day-dreaming in class, realizing he was just a bit jealous that Marie
had attracted Jason's eye.
It was only to be expected, Angelo realized, since Marie was among the
most beautiful girls in the school. Still, Angelo thought: I think I
could be prettier. And he wondered: Wasn't he thinking like a girl
now?
*****
Eric had a novel idea, and he told Angelo about it the next day as they
changed into their ballet class outfits in preparation for class. The
two boys had both chosen sweat pants and tee shirts that matched what
the girls were wearing; also, having relatively small feet, they were
able to wear ballet shoes that were usually worn by the girls.
As Eric tied the band about Angelo's forehead, tying his long hair as a
girl would, the boy in dreadlocks said: "Look into the mirror. Don't
we look like two girls, Angelo?"
Eric was right, of course. The mirror reflected a pretty brown-haired
girl whose hair was behing tied by a lovely, dreadlocked African-
American girl. Angelo didn't reply right away, and he began to blush.
"Yes, we do," he said finally.
"Do you like the idea of being a girl?" Eric asked.
"I guess." Angelo was uncertain how to reply. Of course, he wanted to
be a girl, but since he feared being taken from his foster home if he
showed outward girlish tendencies, he remained noncommittal.
"I wish I was a girl," Eric admitted. "I hate trying to be a boy."
"You do?"
"Oh yes. I've been bullied all my life, beat up because I'm not
strong."
"Me too."
"And they don't have any other boys in the class, right?"
"I know, and they may want us to do boy parts, and I'm not strong
either."
Eric smiled, and his hands caressed Angelo's slender, smooth arms.
"Let's be girls in this class, OK?"
"What do you mean?"
"Let's tell Miss Satterstein that we'll dance as girls. We'll just be
part of the corps."
"You mean, wearing tutus and girl outfits?"
"Yes," Eric said. "What do you say? Let's be girls here."
The idea excited Angelo, but he only responded: "I don't know. My
mummy might not like it."
"No, just for class here we'll be girls. You can be Angela and I'll be
Erin."
Angelo considered the idea, finally saying only: "Let's."
And the two hugged each other and giggled. In the tiny space, they
then held hands and did a dainty dance, giggling again and acting very
girlish.
Miss Satterstein was not too keen on the idea when Eric told her before
the class started, but agreed to it for the time-being, since she was
not ready to involve any dance curriculum for boys anyway.
She decided not to tell the others in the class, and just let the two
boys dance the female parts, allowing the others to get used to them
dancing as one of them. Apparently it worked, for within a week, the
other girls accepted them, and Miss Satterstein now began addressing
the class as "girls," never saying, "boys and girls."
Eric had gone so far as to bring makeup in for the class sessions, and
he and Angelo often put on lipstick and eyebrow pencil and rouge.
"Angelo, I'm jealous," Carole said to him one day. "You're the
prettiest girl in this class, you know."
"Oh no," he protested. "You are the prettiest." And in Angelo's mind,
Carole was very pretty, in spite of having a round, freckled face. She
looked naturally feminine, just as he wished he looked.
"I'm too fat," she responded, even though she was "fat" only in the
view of what that ballet dancers consider "fat."
Angelo had begun to realize that his face was particularly pretty, in a
feminine sense. He had full lips, a narrow chin and high cheekbones;
at the advice of Eric, he had trimmed his eyebrows, and brushed his
hair into bangs that framed his face. He had a naturally slender,
almost swan-like, neck, exposing his white skin; his whole demeanor
exuded a warm softness.
"Oh yes, Angelo," came the voice of Tamara, another of the girls in the
class. "You are so pretty, as pretty as any girl around."
Eric added, pointing at Angelo: "I think she has the loveliest body,
too. Let's call her ?Angela' from now on. And, you can call me
?Erin.'"
"What?" protested Carole as the other girls in the class gathered
around. "You wanna be called girl names?"
"Yes," Eric responded, exaggerating his voice into a high register.
"But only in this class."
"Since we're dancing as girls, we should have girl names," Angelo
added.
All of the girls, except one, cheered. The one, Crystal, a tall,
never-smiling girl with an awkward posture, turned away: "That's
gross."
Yet, from that moment on, they were called "Angela" and "Erin" by all
of the girls, except Crystal, who tried to ignore the two of them.
Miss Satterstein, however, always used their boy names. Even though
the girls were careful not to use their girls' names outside of the
classroom, Angelo and Eric were pleased their classmates thought of
them as girls.
Eric became Angelo's best friend as the weeks went on, as they shared
their own life experiences and how being female was "freeing" them from
unhappy childhoods. They also loved looking at women's fashions, and
even went shopping once together, dressed as boys (though definitely
effeminate boys) in the mall.
*****
At the lunch table each noon, Angelo couldn't take his eyes off Jason,
who was almost always there, with the four girls, including Marie.
Angelo watched as Jason looked at Marie with obvious admiration,
holding the tall blonde girl's hands under the lunch table. Angelo
assumed their thighs were touching, and he was burning with jealousy.
He loved to imagine that he was Jason's girl friend, accepting his
gentle, shy touches.
Jason seemed to be so enamored with Marie that he only once again said
that Angelo reminded him of someone. It was at the end of the second
week of school when Angelo and Jason got to the table before the others
did.
"You're here early," Jason said. "Did your class get out early?"
"Yes, just a bit. Miss Satterstein had a meeting she had to go to, so
she let us out."
"Oh, must have been the same meeting for Mr. White. He let us out
early," Jason said as they both set their trays down.
Jason then looked directly as Angelo: "I remember now why I thought
you looked familiar."
"Why?"
"You reminded me of a girl a met a couple of times at the mall this
summer. She was so cute, and you looked just like her," he said.
"Oh," Angelo said, brushing his hair back with a flick of his wrist.
"But I'm not a girl."
He blushed as he said that, and hoped Jason didn't notice his flushed
face.
"I know. And you don't have a twin sister?"
"No. No sisters. No cousins, even."
"You have the same ocean blue eyes that girl had, and almost the same
hair. Isn't that strange?"
"Yes. It is. I can't explain it."
"Oh here's Marie," Jason said, rising to meet his girl friend, and
Angelo sighed in relief, knowing that Jason would no longer think about
him. But, he wondered, how soon would Jason discover that Angelo was
the lovely girl who attracted his attention in the mall the previous
summer.
Angelo cried in bed that night, wanting so badly to be the girl in the
arms of such a sweet boy as Jason, and knowing how impossible that
would be. As was his custom at night, he wore a silky baby doll
nightie, even though Mary Elizabeth had forbade him to wear girl's
clothes. Typically, he put on his Green Bay Packer pajamas as he went
to bed, changing into the nightie later on after he was sure Mary
Elizabeth was sound asleep. Then, his dreams became the dreams of a
pretty teenaged girl.
*****
His foster mother, Mary Elizabeth, tried diligently to treat Angelo as
she did her own sons years before, but Angelo's behavior in the house
seemed to make that impossible. More and more he walked like a girl,
sat like a girl and even talked like a girl, using feminine expressions
and inflections.
The boy seemed to take great attention to Mary Elizabeth's own dress
habits, often suggesting that she wear a certain dress or skirt, or
brush her hair in a particular way. In virtually every case, his
suggestions were good ones, and she was noticing her own dressing style
was becoming sharper and truly elegant.
He pored over the fashion magazines and catalogs that Mary Elizabeth
got in the mail, pointing out dresses for her. Mary Elizabeth believed
that his real reason for looking at the dresses and skirts was to
imagine which ones he'd most like to wear.
He begged to paint her fingernails and even toenails and she loved to
watch him do it. He had an intense expression as he daintily, but
firmly, held her hands and feet as he applied the polish. He had the
prettiest hands, slender and smooth with long fingers, and he was
always careful to suggest using only subtle colors on her nails.
"Mummy," he would say. "Elegant and lovely women like you need not use
garish colors."
Angelo was not into overstating his femininity, she realized. He
seemed to adopt feminine characteristics naturally, without any of the
"campiness" or flamboyancy that featured many transsexuals and
crossdressers. Michael (Heather's friend) had directed Mary Elizabeth
to various web sites on transgendered issues, and she now understood
that many apparent males were actually "feminine" in their brains and
physical being. "It has little to do with a child's environment,"
Michael told her. "Many boys are born with feminine tendencies,
largely due to certain strengths in the brain."
Mary Elizabeth considered all of this carefully, soon coming to the
conclusion that Angelo may indeed be a "girl" born into a boy's
anatomy.
"Oh my darling Angela," she said one night after supper while he was
assisting her in cleaning up the dishes. It was the first time she had
used his female name since he returned from the shelter in Milwaukee.
"Yes, mummy?" He smiled as she called him "Angela," brushing his hair
lightly.
"You really are such a lovely little girl. I can't see how we'll ever
make a boy out of you."
"Mummy, I love you," he said moving close and putting his arms about
her.
"Darling, I need to tell you something," she said, motioning him to sit
down with her at the kitchen table.
She took both his hands in hers, looking at his tiny wrists and smooth
white forearms. He was so tender and dainty, she felt, that there was
no chance to have him enter the adult world as a male. Not only was
his physical stature so weak, but his mind responded, she felt, as a
girl's mind would. He had such gentle tendencies.
"What is it, mummy?"
"I hope the Child Welfare people finally come to their senses. It
seems someone over there should realize that there often are boys like
you who might feel they are girls."
Angelo smiled.
Mary Elizabeth explained that she was going to ask for a psychiatrist
to examine Angelo to determine how real his feminine tendencies are.
She said that the psychiatrist might be able to show to Child Welfare
that Angelo truly needs eventually to be female.
"If we can show you have true problems with your gender," she
continued, "Then they may let you explore those feelings. And, best of
all, you could probably stay with me."
"Really, mummy. Would I have to tell this psychiatrist everything?"
"Yes, honey. That's the point of it. Don't you want to do that? You
don't have to, you know."
"Oh I'd be scared. What would I say?"
"Just tell the psychiatrist your feelings," she said. "Oh darling, I
hope you will agree to this. It's our best hope. And this was all
because Heather and Michael went to bat for you with the ACLU."
"Mummy, I will. I will."
Angelo kissed Mary Elizabeth and then said: "Can I wear my nightie
tonite?"
"Angela, my dear," the foster mother said, again using his female name.
"Of course you can. I know you've been sneaking into your nighties
after I go to sleep. You little scamp, you."
Mary Elizabeth felt her love, a nurturing love, continue to grow toward
Angela; yes, that was how she viewed the tender fairy-like child before
her: as a very feminine young lady.
*****
During October, Angelo continued to attend school as a boy, but his
mannerisms were becoming noticeably more feminine. He was called in to
the school psychologist for a special meeting at the request of a
science teacher who had wondered whether Angelo was facing what he
termed was "special feelings." Angelo had been teased openly in his
class for his effeminate behavior.
"Eeeeeuuuuuuuuu, I can't be a lab partner with this creature. It's not
a girl. It's not a boy. What is it?" The words came from a Sonja, a
tall athletic blonde, who was assigned to share a lab desk with Angelo.
"I don't wanna either," echoed another girl.
Except for Eric and the girls in the ballet class, Angelo still hadn't
made friends with others in the school. To be sure, he felt he was
viewed with disdain by most of the students due to his questionable
gender.
This day, hearing the harsh words from the two girls, Angelo cried
openly before the entire class. This brought some guffaws and derisive
laughter, before it was silenced by the strong words of Mr. Kennedy,
the science teacher, a muscular young man who doubled as an assistant
football coach.
He told Sonja that she had to share the desk with Angelo, or else face
disciplinary action. "We treat all students here alike," he told the
class.
Sonja moved over next to Angelo, assuming her assigned seat, whispering
so only he could hear: "You're weird. Such a sissy."
Angelo merely nodded, his face still wet with tears. Mr. Kennedy
handed him a tissue to dry his tears and went about the day's lessons.
After class, he asked Angelo if he'd like to see the school
psychologist, and Angelo had nodded "yes."
The meeting with the school psychologist was brief when he realized
Angelo was in the foster care system. He asked Angelo what was
bothering him, and Angelo said other students were harassing him
because he was different. "I don't feel like I'm sick in the head or
anything," he told the psychologist.
The psychologist returned Angelo to his next class and said he would
call the Child Welfare agency to alert them to the situation in school.
That action bothered Angelo because he felt his continued feminine
behavior may cause him to be removed from Mary Elizabeth.
That afternoon, after getting off the school bus, he saw Anna Simm's
car in front of his foster mother's house, causing him to again
consider running away. He felt Anna Simms had been sent by the Child
Welfare agency to remove him from Mary Elizabeth's care and try to have
him raised as a boy.
Angelo realized running away again would put him in grave danger, and
he was ill-prepared to defend himself. He went home to find Miss Simms
in the kitchen talking with his foster mother as well as the hated Miss
Pentecost.
"Angelo, come here," Mary Elizabeth said.
Angelo put down his book bag, and slowly entered the room, afraid of
what was in his future. Were they going to send him to a place where
he'd have to be a boy, and play sports and become strong and muscular?
He'd never survive, he thought, since he was so terribly weak.
Angelo was directed to the only vacant chair in the room. The three
were having tea, and Mary Elizabeth asked if he wanted some as well.
He nodded that he would, keeping his eyes looking downward and his
shoulders narrowed, feeling like his body was shriveling up into
insignificance before the three women.
"Angelo, look at me," Miss Pentecost said firmly, though more gently
than he had heard her speak before. "I'm not here to hurt you."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, looking up at the tall social work supervisor.
Her eyes had seemed to take on a more kindly tone.
"We've reviewed your situation," she began. "I can see you're a very
special young person, and we're ready to look at that."
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you."
"We know you have feelings of being female, and our research tells us
that happens to some boys, but not many. We will be asking you to see
some specialists in the next month to discuss your feelings with them.
Would you be willing to do that?"
"I guess so," Angelo said.
"You would have to promise to be open with the specialists, and tell
them everything you feel and all of your thoughts. Would you do that?"
Angelo looked at Mary Elizabeth before answering. His foster mother
smiled and nodded "yes."
"I would," he said.
Anna Simms smiled at Angelo, adding: "We've looked into transgender
situations since your case came up, and we realize that you may be
special. It appears that Mrs. Dayton here has not done anything to
create your natural tendency to like feminine things and to act
feminine. It seems this is a part of your own person."
"I guess so," he responded. "She tried to keep me being a boy, but I
kept finding the dolls and dresses and stuff. I feel so much like a
girl."
"Well," Miss Pentecost said, "We'll have to see how deep your feelings
are. That's why you must see our specialists. In the interim, we'll
let your remain with Mrs. Dayton, but you'll have to still go to school
as a boy and wear boy clothes."
Angelo smiled and grabbed Mary Elizabeth's hand, noticing how
cheerfully his foster mother was dressed. She had on a dark blue
pencil skirt and a light blue satin blouse with gold earrings and a
necklace.
Miss Pentecost said: "And we won't know how you dress at home." She
followed that with a knowing wink.
When the foster care workers left, Angelo said: "She's not so bad.
Miss Pentecost."
Mary Elizabeth laughed: "Even she can see the girl in you."
In the next three weeks, Angelo had two meetings each with a
psychologist assigned to the child welfare system and with a private
psychiatrist who seemed to specialize in serving teenagers. He was
able to be honest with both of them, telling how he felt so inadequate
as a boy, while feeling so natural when he dressed as a girl.
The answer came the week before Halloween: Angelo could continue to
live with Mary Elizabeth. Publicly, he must continue to present
himself as a boy, but he can dress as a girl at home and with friends.
The specialists concluded in their report to the Child Welfare agency:
"In all respects, we feel Angelo Davies has true feelings that he is
female. He understands his anatomy is that of a male, but he has shown
no interest in pursuing normally male activities. His physique is
small-boned, which is compatible with a feminine body, and if he wishes
to consider transitioning to becoming female in the fullest sense, we
feel he would find success in such a transition.
"However, because he is only 15, we cannot recommend any overt action
being taken at this time that would make his journey to womanhood
irreversible. We recommend that he be permitted to practice cosmetic
actions to achieve femininity, as far as his desires go. But, he
should remain in all other respects a male child until he reaches 18,
at which time he may consider taking actions that would make him a
woman."
The Agency accepted the recommendations, and Miss Pentecost told Mary
Elizabeth that Angelo might dress as often as he wanted to at home, and
with friends like Tanya and Eric.
Chapter 13 - The Halloween Party
"Then you can come to our Halloween costume party," Tanya said when
Angelo told her the results of his psychological evaluation in a phone
call.
Tanya said she and girls from her school were holding a party at their
school and that she could invite a friend.
"I'd like you to come, Angela," she said, using his female name. "And
come dressed like a girl."
"That wouldn't be a costume for me," he replied, almost giggling at the
prospect. "I feel natural as a girl."
"I know, silly, but come as a woman character, like, oh . . . say . . .
Marie Antoinette."
"Oh yes. Marie Antoinette. I?d like that, but where would I get a
dress like that now?"
Tanya said: "I know. We have a suitable gown and wig in our theater
department for Marie Antoinette. I'm the costume girl for the next
play, and I could bring it home. I bet it would fit."
"Oh yes, can you?"
"Angela. I will. You'd be a beautiful Marie Antoinette."
They agreed Angelo would come to Tanya's house after school on Thursday
to try it on, and fit it for the Halloween Party on Saturday.
The dress Tanya brought home was a chemise gown that had been favored
by Marie Antoinette and her court ladies in the years 1780-1790. It
could be closed in front for an open gown, or it could be worn as a
closed gown with closure in the back. Belted and sashed, the flow of
the gown accentuated the hips, as it widened to the hoop at the bottom.
The cr?me-colored material flowed to the floor, and it had an open
bodice and ruffled sleeves that ended at the elbow.
"I love it," Angelo said. "It's so elegant."
"And you'll look lovely in it. I hope it fits."
Tanya also showed a corset and camisole that Angelo would wear
underneath the gown, helping to form a more feminine figure. The
corset had metal stays and could be tightened by ties in the back,
which, in the days of Marie Antoinette would have been tied by a maid.
Angelo giggled a bit. "I need that corset," he said. Even though he
had a slight frame, he had grown a slight punchy tummy and he knew the
corset would make him so much more feminine.
The two spent the next hour dressing Angelo, including old fashioned
bloomers that were lace trimmed, and went to just above the knees.
Then, the corset was put on, with Angelo holding his arms high over his
head while Tanya put it on him, and setting it in place.
"It's tight already," Angelo said.
"You're getting to be a chubby girl," Tanya giggled. "We'll slim you
down now."
She began to lace up the back of the corset, making it tighter and
tighter. "Know hold on to the bed post, Angela, while I see if I can
get it tighter."
Angelo began cursing all the cakes he'd been eating recently, as Tanya
tightened down on the corset laces. He was holding on for dear life to
the bed post, as Tanya braced her knee against his butt to make the
laces tight.
"I can hardly breathe," he said.
"But now you have a nice girly form," she said.
This made Angelo smile, knowing that as his tummy was compressed, his
hips would become more obviously broad and his breasts would become
more noticeable.
Now came a garter belt that fit tightly about his hips; Tanya was
discreet and let Angelo put them on himself, before she provided the
white stockings he'd wear. He held out his legs for her one at a time
as she place the stockings on his feet, running her hands to smooth out
the material.
Angelo loved how feminine and pretty his legs and feet looked as the
stockings were pulled up to be hooked to the garters. He had made a
practice of applying lotion to his feet and legs on a daily basis to
keep them soft and lovely.
"Honey, you have truly the prettiest legs I've seen," Tanya said. "I'm
wild with envy."
Angelo blushed, realizing that his darling friend, Tanya, would be
unable to match the sheer feminine beauty of his legs; hers were pretty
enough, but a bit more chunky and muscular.
"You have nothing to be envious of, Tanya. You're so beautiful in so
many ways."
Tanya assisted Angelo in putting on a pair of bloomers with lace trim
at the top and the legs; the bloomers reached to his knees. When she
added the camisole, Angelo felt all trussed up and completely feminine.
Though he could hardly breathe, Angelo pranced about the room, doing a
few pirouettes and leg kicks.
"Angela," exuded Tanya, "you could be a Rockette."
The gown was put on by having Angelo step into it, which he did
daintily. "You do that just like a girl," Tanya giggled.
"Well?" He giggled, too.
It was buttoned up the back, and had a scooped bodice that showed the
pale softness of his skin; his slender arms showed beneath the elbow-
length sleeve. The gown flowed to the floor.
"You don't even need a wig," Tanya said. "You have plenty of hair for
it to piled up and fixed."
"Who'll do that?"
"Don't worry, Angela. My sister made an appointment for you at the
hairdressers on Saturday afternoon."
"The hairdressers. I can't go there. I'm a boy, and all the ladies
there will laugh."
Tanya laughed, knowing that while Angelo was protesting, he probably
was welcoming the idea to go to the beauty salon.
"That's no problem, Angela," Tanya said. "You'll go as Angela. No one
will see you as a boy."
*****
Angelo had little to fear, since the ladies at Christine's Beautiful
Girl Salon - hairdressers and customers alike - shared his excitement
at dressing like Marie Antionette for the costume party. Dressed as he
was in beige Capri pants, pink sandals with sequins and a light blue
tee-shirt (his bra filled out with breast forms), the ladies accepted
him as "Angela," a pretty 15-year-old girl.
Tanya had brought along a picture she copied from an old history book,
showing the French aristocrat's hairstyle, and Christine, the salon
proprietor, found in her stylebook almost a perfect match.
"You have a lovely head of hair," Christine said, as Angelo sat in the
chair. "We'll be able pile the hair upon your head and fashion it
beautifully."
"Honey," said an elderly woman to Angelo, her silvered hair curled in
an up-style. "It's so nice to see such a sweet girl these days. So
many girls look like sluts, but you're so pretty."
Angelo blushed, as Tanya said, "And she's a good student, too."
Angelo's hair was trimmed, then washed, and dried. As he sat in the
dryer among two other women, they began to quiz him about his school.
One even asked: "Do you have any boy friends, yet?"
"No," he mumbled.
Tanya who was sitting nearby merely said: "Her mother is very strict.
She won't let Angela date yet."
"You're a heartbreaker, darling," said another woman. "You'll find
lots of boys crying over you."
Angelo merely nodded, slowly beginning to realize that he had a
naturally feminine quality that would bring him problems similar those
many pretty women faced with men. He had no idea how he would handle
himself when a boy would take him on a date.
"There you are, Angela dear," said Christine as she completed fixing
his hair, and turning the chair so he could look in the mirror.
"What a dignified young lady you are," Tanya said. "What do you think,
Angela?"
"I'm blown away," he said.
He strode out of the Beauty Salon in a somewhat exaggerated imperious
walk, seeking to emulate the style of Marie Antoinette.
"I love being in the beauty salon," he told Tanya as they drove home.
"I felt so at home with Christine and her workers and the other girls."
"And they loved you, too dear. I think you'll be a hit tonight."
*****
The costume party was a "mixer," in which boys and girls usually came
with friends usually of the same sex. Rarely did any of the teens come
with dates. Tanya told Angelo that there's be a disc jockey by the
name of Malcolm McKinley, a senior student who had a nice collection of
music ranging from rock to sweet jazz to hip hop.
"Some boys may want you to dance, Angela," she said, continuing to use
his female name. "You can refuse, you know."
"No I want to try to be friends. I think I am girl enough, don't you?"
"Oh my yes. Even your voice is so feminine now."
There were plenty of adult chaperones at the dance, and a strict
admission policy was followed, with no chance for students to leave and
return, perhaps with some illicit drugs or a pint of vodka. Tanya had
registered Angelo as "Angela Davies," a student at the Arts High
School.
For the first half hour, as the kids began to fill the school
gymnasium, only a handful of kids danced, in spite of urging from DJ
Malcolm, a chubby African-American boy with a sunny personality. Tanya
introduced Anglo to many of her girl friends, all of who expressed
astonishment at the marvelous costume he wore. Tanya dressed up as a
pirate captain, thus, in a sense, preserving a boy-girl relationship
with the two.
"Oh my god," Tanya explained. "Look who's here!"
She pointed to a group of kids gathered around the food counter.
There, Angelo saw both Jason, the boy from his school, and his friend
from the mall, Gary.
"The boys from the mall," Angelo said. "You know Jason goes to my
school."
"Yes, I know that. And, Gary goes here. He's been pestering me, but I
kept telling him I had a boy friend. Gary must have invited Jason."
"Let's go. I can't be seen here by Jason. He's the boy friend of a
friend of mine. And he sees me everyday, and tells me I remind him of
a pretty girl he met in the mall. I'm afraid he'll figure out that
girl is me, as a boy."
"No, Angela. We're not going. We've spent too much time making you
Marie Antoinette. Besides I think you've got the best costume here,
and you might win."
Angelo nodded in agreement. It wouldn't be right to leave Tanya's
party, since she had worked so hard costuming Angelo.
Angelo accepted several dance invitations from boys, and they went off
without incident, usually with the boys being awkward and unable to
think of anything more to say than they liked his costume and to ask
where he went to school. Angelo replied shyly, not encouraging any
further conversation. One of the dances was a slow ballad, encouraging
his partner, a slender bespectacled boy to try to hold him tightly.
The boy's hand, he realized had wandered down to the small of his back.
Angelo was saved by his wide dress that made it difficult for the boy
to get too close.
"You're pretty and you dance good," the boy said as the dance ended.
"Can I call you sometime?"
"My mummy won't let me go out with boys yet," he said, shyly. He kept
his voice soft, giving it always a bit of a "little girl" character.
One of the boys had said he looked so "cute" when he looked shy; Angelo
knew it would exude feelings of vulnerability and defenselessness.
The boy, whose name was Kevin, took Angelo's hand in his, and said:
"Let's go get some punch. Would you like that, Angela?"
Angelo nodded, accepting the boy's lead and following him through the
masses of costumed teens to the punch bowl. It was fortunate he did,
because it was at that moment that Jason noticed Angelo in his Marie
Antoinette costume.
Instinctively, Angelo nestled closer to Kevin, the boy who held his
hand, putting on the appearance that this slender boy was his "boy
friend."
"Fancy meeting you here," Jason said, coming face-to-face with Angelo,
stopping the couple in their trek to the punch bowl. "Remember me.
Jason. We met last summer at the mall. Hi Angela."
Angelo tried to lower his eyes, projecting more shyness.
"Hi Jason," he said meekly, keeping his voice soft.
"Why didn't you call me? I thought you would."
"You know. Mummy doesn't like me dating boys yet."
Kevin stood there silently, looking at the quiet game going on between
Jason and the person he knew only as "Angela."
"And, Jason, this is my new friend, Kevin. He goes to school here."
The two boys nodded to each other, but Jason continued to address
Angelo: "I thought you were going to the Arts School; weren't you
accepted?"
Angelo, however, moved toward Kevin, and said: "Let's get some punch.
Bye Jason."
Kevin took the hint and quickly moved the pair away from Jason, who was
left standing open-mouthed in the middle of the dance floor.
"I guess you don't like him," Kevin asked Angelo, as they waiting in
line for punch.
"I hardly know him. He met me at the food court at the mall last
summer, and seems to be after me, but mummy doesn't think I'm ready to
date."
Kevin smiled. "That's too bad. You're so pretty. Maybe you'll let
me call you, and I can meet your mummy sometime. She might think I'm
OK for you. Or, at least I hope I am."
"Oh I think you are, Kevin," Angelo said, giving him a coy look.
Angelo and Kevin found a place to sit and finished their punch, just as
Malcolm the DJ announced: "All contestants for the costume contest
gather at the front now."
Angelo continued to sit there; he knew Tanya had entered him in the
category of "Girls in Vintage Dresses." Now, with Jason present,
Angelo wasn't pleased with the idea of parading in front of everyone as
Marie Antoinette.
"There you are, Angela," Tanya appeared suddenly. "Get yourself up
there."
"Do I have to? Jason's here."
Tanya persisted, finally grabbing Angelo by the hand and leading him by
the hand to the contestant area. He squeezed Kevin's hand, and said:
"I guess I must go. Thank you. You're were so nice."
Kevin held his hand firmly for a moment, saying: I hope you'll dance
with me later."
By the time he lined up for his walk on stage, Angelo had regained the
regal manner he had adopted in being Marie Antoinette. He walked head
held high, taking tiny steps and holding the lower part of his gown as
he mounted the stairs to the stage.
There were ten girls, including himself, in the competition, wearing
costumes that ranged from being a prairie peasant woman to a "Gay 90's"
dancer to being Martha Washington. Malcolm asked each contestant to
introduce herself, say something about her costume and say her grade in
school. Angelo said merely: "Angela Davies. Ninth Grade. I'm Marie
Antoinette."
After all were introduced, they were given huge numbers to hold in
front of them. The audience was told to fill out ballots giving their
first, second and third choices. Angelo was "Number 7," and he worried
that the number would bring him luck and have him win. He didn't want
to win, since it would mean he'd have to appear before the group again,
and Jason would see him again, and maybe figure out who he really was.
There were four categories in all, and the audience was asked also to
vote on the "Best of the Night."
Twenty minutes later, the results were in. Angelo stood with Tanya and
her sometimes boyfriend, Joshua. Kevin soon joined them. Angelo was
silent, tense with concern that he'd win one of the awards, since many
persons had praised his costume. One girl said: "You should win,
since you carry yourself with such elegance and daintiness." Angelo
let Kevin hold his hands as they awaited the announcements.
It took a while, since the "Girls in Vintage Costumes" class winners
were announced last; beginning with third place. He was relieved when
the third and second place awards went to the "Gay 90's" dancer and
Martha Washington. Certainly, he hoped, he wouldn't win.
"And the winner is . . . Marie Antoinette, portrayed by Angela Davies
of the Arts High School. Come up Angela."
Angelo was mortified. Here he was, a boy, dressed as a girl and
winning in a girl's contest. Tanya had to push him to get him moving
to the stage, and he was greeted with large applause; even the girl
dressed as Martha Washington who finished second whispered to him as he
passed her to climb the stage steps: "You were lovely, Angela. You
should have won." He thanked her and remembering to be elegant and
dainty, climbed the stairs.
To his horror, Angelo was also named "Best of the Night." He faced
flashing lights from cameras and repeated praises for his beauty and
elegance.
"How come I never see you at the Arts School?" Jason had pressed
forward as others were praising Angelo.
"Oh, I don't know," Angelo responded. For the moment, he was tongue-
tied, not knowing how to answer Jason. He was saved from answering as
Tanya saw his situation and came to rescue him away.
After the award was given, Angelo found himself the center of
attention, particularly from other girls who wanted to know about his
dress and hairdo. Kevin hung around, and was successful in getting
only one more dance with Angelo.
Kevin was an awkward boy, and he danced clumsily, but Angelo felt
comfortable with the boy. Angelo also was happy to be with a shy,
somewhat na?ve boy like Kevin. He was afraid a boy who was more
experienced with girls would find out he was really a boy.
"I've never asked a girl out for a date," Kevin said haltingly after
their dance. "Can I call you sometime?"
"I suppose you could. You're so nice." Angelo so enjoyed being a girl
now, and being pursued by a boy. He felt sorry for boys; they always
had to be the pursuers, while girls merely had to wait to be asked.
"Angela," he said. "I'd love that. You're so pretty and so kind. I
bet you'd be pretty in anything you wore."
Angelo gave his phone number to Kevin, but asked him not to call for a
several days, since he wanted to warn Mary Elizabeth that he might be
hearing from a boy.
"Aren't you glad you went, Angela," Tanya asked as they were driven
home by Tanya's mother.
"Oh I was worried, but I loved it. Your school is so nice."
"You should have seen her, Mom," Tanya said to her mother, Sharon.
"Angela had to be the prettiest girl there. Everybody said so."
"I'm not sure your foster mum will be pleased," the mother said.
"Remember, you're still a boy."
"Oh Mom. She's really a girl. You know that."
*****
By the Monday after the Halloween Party, school had been in session for
a full eight weeks, and Angelo had become comfortable with his classes
and his schoolmates. That he was becoming an increasing feminine-
acting boy seemed to pass without notice; after all, there were several
others like Angelo in the school, and he and Eric seemed to be getting
along fine as being among that group of boys being thought of as
"sissies" or "faggots" or "fairies." The Arts School was known for
being able to keep such boys safe from bullies that populated the
mainstream schools.
He enjoyed ballet class the most, even though it was physically
exhausting. He had never been a strong or active boy, but as the
school year continued he found he was able to keep up with the girls.
The group was now beginning rehearsals to perform several dances at the
school's Christmas program, including several scenes from the
"Nutcracker Suite." Angelo and Eric were to dance as girls and the
other girls in the class accepted their presence in the corps without
comment. The two boys were called by the girl's names they adopted,
"Angela" and "Erin." The one exception continued to be Crystal who
would occasionally scowl at Angelo or Eric as they performed; she
several times quoted phrases from the Bible that would seem to shout
scorn upon the two boys because they were dressing and dancing as
girls.
After class that Monday, Cecilie, who was perhaps Angelo's closest
friend in the ballet, said: "I feel like you should use the name,
Angelica. That sounds just like you."
Angelo smiled, "It's a lovely name."
"You're so feminine, and the name is so pretty. You'll be Angelica
now."
"Cecilie, that's nice of you to think of me as another girl."
"You seem to enjoy being a girl, don't you?"
"Cecilie, to be truthful, I do. I'm kind of weird, eh?"
"Not really, Angelica," she said, using his new feminine name. "It
seems to be so natural with you."
"Thank you, Cecilie. You're kind to understand."
As the two walked to the cafeteria for their lunch, Angelo spotted
Jason standing in the hallway, as if he were waiting for someone.
"I want to talk with you," Jason said firmly, pointing at Angelo.
A pang of fear coursed through Angelo's soul as he feared that Jason
might have finally realized that Angelo and the girl in the mall and at
the Halloween Party were one and the same.
"I'll go on ahead," Cecilie said. "I'll meet you two at the lunch
table."
Jason put his hands on Angelo's arm and led him to an alcove that led
to a janitor's closet. "Now, what are you? A boy? Or, a girl?"
Angelo's lips quivered. "Ah . . . what do you mean? I . . . er . .
. er . . . am a boy, of course."
"You're also the girl in the mall and the girl who dressed as Marie
Antoinette. Aren't you?"
Angelo turned his head away, and attempted to walk away from this boy,
but Jason's firm grasp on his arm made that impossible. He didn't
answer.
"Aren't you that girl? Aren't you?" Jason persisted