Andrea Standing (part 2 of Andrea's Stand)
A note at the beginning. One of the problems with writing a serial
story is that the author feels a need to recap what happened in the
prior portions. Please go back and read part 1, "Andrew Running". It
will make this a better story. Briefly Andrew at 19, abused by his
father, runs away to a distant relative, Aunt Clara. Andrew goes along
with a joke played by Clara's lover Marnie, and ends up as Andrea
working in Marnie's luxury used car shop. At the end of the story
Andrew's father dies but Andrew decides to continue living as Andrea
for a while.
Chapter 1: Loose Ends
After my father died Aunt Clara and I moped around the house for a day.
I wish I had gone to work but my boss, and her lover, Marnie insisted I
take the day off. A couple of times we tried to start conversations but
neither of us could make a go of it.
I felt guilty because I couldn't mourn for Carl. He had beaten me and
abused my mother. When she died he treated it as an inconvenience and
then he died blindly running across a street to beat me up when a car
hit him.
Clara felt guilty for some reason I couldn't figure out. She hated Carl
and he hated her but now she was in the dumps. She suggested I leave
off being Andrea and live as Andrew again. After all I had only lived
as Andrea for about two weeks and she and Marnie could find me another
job.
I thought about it and decided that I wanted to try being Andrea for a
while longer. I liked being the opposite of the trailer trash kid who
worked in a junk yard. I was struggling with some of the problems of
being Andrea, such as how to finally have sex with a girl if I was
dressed as one, but going back to being a boy seemed too depressing.
It was a relief when Wednesday morning arrived. The alarm rang and I
looked over the clothes Clara and I had laid out. After going to the
bathroom and washing up I carefully applied the two little pancakes of
foam that hinted at breasts and began to dress. Because I was wearing a
rather full skirt I pulled on cotton panties followed by tan pantyhose.
It hid what little I had well enough. I put on a white camisole that
was almost a low cut t-shirt and then a square necked blouse. The
blouse was white with large black spots and while I cringed at how loud
it seemed I had to admit it looked good with the black skirt.
When I finished dressing, Aunt Clara had breakfast going and we looked
at the paper and arranged the day. Then she went to get dressed and I
cleaned up in the kitchen. Because her office opened at 8:30 and
Marnie's place at 10:00 I went to Clara's office first and sat reading
fashion magazines until she drove me to work.
Hildy and Susan, Aunt Clara's front office staff, jumped up to hug me
and tell me how sorry they were to hear about my father. Aunt Clara
rescued me by explaining that we had not been close. The same scene
occurred at MJ Classic Motors and Marnie told me that if I had to take
time off to handle family business she would understand.
That week passed in fits and starts. I had to speak to the county
attorney, who decided that my father had died in an accident and no
further investigation was required. Then I spoke to Clara's lawyer who
took care of the immediate details, such as what to do with Carl's
body. It was sitting in his office that he raised a detail I hadn't
thought about.
"Tell me Andrea, do you know if your father had any other relatives?"
I shrugged and said I had never heard of any.
"Well, if you approve, I will take a look to see if he had a lawyer,
left a will and what will become of the estate."
"Estate? He owned a junk yard and a leaky trailer."
"It's a legal term. You never know, there could be money, or maybe the
land the junkyard is on is worth something. May I act in your
interests?"
Almost a year later the estate was settled and after back taxes, debts,
clean up fees, fines, environmental penalties and everything else, I
received about twelve thousand dollars. Before the property was sold I
also gritted my teeth and went back to the trailer and retrieved a few
books, a picture of my mother and a cheap print she liked.
The week stumbled along and I found my rhythm again. There were high
points and low points. Every day I got to know the people at MJ Classic
Motors better and learned who the characters were. Phil, the head
mechanic, was the good old boy who flirted with everybody, always had a
joke but ran a very good service unit. Tuck, who did the detailing of
the cars, was slow, had a speech defect but still had a gentle wisdom
that the others listened to. JoAnne the part-time receptionist (I was
the full time receptionist) was caustic, bitter but knew her job.
Susan, the business manager ran a tight ship but was always ready to
help out. In time the others changed from faces and names to people
with families, characters and histories.
The first day back to work was a Wednesday, quite busy and I had to run
out to the lawyers in the middle of the day. When Aunt Clara picked me
up I was ready to go home. She had shopped on the way to MJs and the
back of the van had grocery bags. We talked a little and then Aunt
Clara told me of some plans.
"I am inviting some friends over for drinks Friday evening. It will be
snacks, light dinner and the like. I know you feel nervous about this
but you still need to make an appearance. My friends know that my niece
is staying with me and they want to meet you."
"Oh God."
I heard the short intake of breath and kicked myself. Aunt Clara was
very religious and frowned on cursing and using the name of God.
"Sorry."
"Yes Andrea. You won't be on display. Come in, have something to eat,
meet people and after a while you can just fade away. I think it will
be small. I'll invite some neighbors, the Drexlers they live two doors
down, Marnie will be there of course and probably Mike Small who is a
local developer and very amusing. If the Millers across the street can
make that will be nice but they are usually busy. If you want we can
shop for another outfit for you or you can wear whatever you wore to
work."
Then my aunt laughed. "You not off the hook yet. Marnie is having
people over for lunch and she'll want you to come to that as well. It's
after church and I don't think we can get out of it. It will be
crowded, noisy and we can leave after an hour or so."
I just nodded and stayed silent. Aunt Clara was right. I had to be seen
and get used to being seen. It seemed so long ago that I ran from home
and became Andrea but it was barely three weeks. Looking in the mirror
I wasn't fooled and a few people seemed to have guessed I was not a
girl. Generally though, I was persuasive. I looked the part of a tall,
very skinny, awkward young woman just reaching adulthood.
We made dinner and as we were beginning desert the phone rang. Aunt
Clara picked it up, looked at me with surprise and then said, "Who may
I say is calling?"
My first thought was that Jimmy, a boy from a local hardware store was
calling me and I groaned because he seemed to be anxious to get to know
me better. He came to help when Carl was attacking me so I couldn't
just brush him off. He was nice but I had no desire to spend my time
fending off a horny teenager.
"Andrea, it's Maria."
I had to think for a second and then went over to take the call. Maria
was a girl my age who, with her friend Tracie, was always jogging
around the neighborhood. We had waved at each other a few times and
then I bumped into them at a local coffee shop and the three of us sat
together. Maria began looking closely at me and I was worried that she
might be working out that an Andrew was hiding under the hair and
makeup. Fortunately a young man had come over and began flirting with
them and I was able to fade into invisibility.
I took the call and listened as Maria told me about her classes at the
community college, a boy she had met, what Tracie had said to another
boy and then finally catching her breath said that she and Tracie were
planning to hit the mall Saturday afternoon and did I want to join
them.
I asked if she could wait, put the phone on hold, consulted with Aunt
Clara and then agreed. The two girls would pick me up around 12:30 and
then head to Targets which was having a sale, and then "just wander to
see what else we want."
When I put the phone down I just stared at Aunt Clara.
"I've just agreed to go shopping for clothes and wander a mall."
"Good. That's what women do; or at least some of them. I try to avoid
it."
"Yes, but Maria was looking really closely at me when we had coffee
together last week."
Clara just gave me a rueful grin. "You said you wanted to stay on as
Andrea. You have to take risks with pleasures."
"Yeah."
"Try not to say "Yeah" my dear. It sounds coarse and masculine. You'll
need some money because you don't have a credit card. Remind me. "
I thanked her and helped clean up the dinner dishes. Aunt Clara settled
down with a magazine and music played in the background. I thought
about Maria and Tracie and what they were doing with their lives.
"Aunt Clara, I'll be using the computer, OK?"
I went to the computer and brought up the website of the community
college. It was the middle of the term and I noted the dates for
enrolling in a course for the spring term (which started in January and
therefore I thought should be called the winter term). Nosing around
the site I found a series of courses titled "Late Fall and Adult
Courses. There were a number of six week courses. I read and thought,
looked at the calendar and printed out some pages.
That night as I lay in bed I thought about school. My father had always
sneered at school and academic achievement wasn't rewarded. The two
biggest highlights of high school were hitting a home run for the JV
basketball team and actually getting to touch a girl's breast while
making out. It seemed strange to be considering taking a class now. I
wondered if I would have any problems registering as Andrea.
The next day was a red letter day and it still resonates now. I was
sitting at the front desk sorting through some papers when Susan came
up.
"Congratulations Andrea" she said dropping an envelope on my desk.
I looked up in confusion and Paul, the salesman, passing by, looked
over and joked about me buying him a drink after work. Still
bewildered I opened the envelope and looked at my first paycheck. I had
started mid-cycle so it wasn't a lot of money and the taxes taken
seemed to be an unfair amount, but it was money. $408.03 isn't much
but I could open a bank account now. I could buy things without begging
from Clara. I smiled at Susan.
Then I had a thought and got up and walked over to Marnie's office and
knocked on the door. She looked up and I smiled and held up the
envelope.
"Thanks Ms. Jarman. Thanks a lot."
Marnie signaled me and motioned me to shut the door.
"Have you got a moment? OK. I know that Clara suggested you might go
back to being Andrew. If you want to, then we will help you. I'd like
some warning to find a replacement here. Clara and I both like having
Andrea around but don't make us the reason for how you live."
I felt choked up and nodded. Then I caught my breath.
"No, I want to be Andrea for me. I'm glad you and Aunt Clara like it,
but this is something I am doing for me. I can't say this to Clara but
Carl really fucked my life up and I'm rebuilding and I am damned if I
am going to be something I don't want to be."
Marnie was signaling me to quiet down and I realized I had raised my
voice.
"Oh, sorry."
"It's OK. Will you be coming over with Clara on Sunday?"
"Yes."
"Good, now get back to work Andrea, oh... you are very welcome."
Chapter 2: Defining a Life
On Friday Marnie drove me home and we helped Clara set up for the
evening. I had expected something special but they just put out a
couple of different cheeses, fruit, wine, small sandwiches and neatened
the place up. Both of them looked me over and decided I was dressed
acceptably.
The evening was fine once I relaxed. The Drexlers were nice and said
hello. Then they spent the rest of the evening talking about the
renovations they were doing on their house. Mike Small talked cars with
Marnie and part way through I excused myself and went into the third
bedroom to use the computer and read.
When the evening started to break up I came out and said goodbye. Then
Marnie, Clara and I cleaned up and sat in the living room.
"Marnie, Aunt Clara, I've been looking at some courses at the community
college. They have these six week courses starting in a few weeks and I
thought I'd take one."
Both of them women enthusiastically jumped into the conversation,
assured me that I would not have to pay for myself, congratulated me on
making the decision and then sat stunned when I asked if they thought
I'd have problems enrolling as Andrea Dade.
"Gee, I haven't thought about that. I don't know. Clara, your lawyer is
handling Andrea's affairs, can he help?"
Clara just nodded her head. I could see that somehow I had really
shocked them. I listened for a moment as they tried to come to grips
with my question.
"Hey, Aunt Clara, Marnie, what's up? I just asked about how to enroll.
I mean my license says Andrew not Andrea, is it that big a deal?"
Marnie managed to speak first.
"I think it is Andrea. I think you just smacked us with some reality. I
don't know if this really is the right thing. Just think about all the
complications and...."
"Stop."
I must have almost shouted because they both looked at me in shock.
"Stop. I've been through this. We've been through this. I am Andrea and
I am not changing. Maybe at some point I will but not now. Not now.
Not..."
I got up and walked out of the room and went into the bathroom to catch
my breath. I leaned my head against the cool tile and counted slowly.
When the junk yard teenager subsided I walked out again and sat down.
"Aunt Clara, Marnie, please listen to me. Maybe I became Andrea for the
wrong reasons. Maybe my reasons for continuing are wrong but I am not
changing. Please don't push me on this."
Clara took a deep breath and then changed the subject to getting me set
up with a bank account on Saturday morning. I reminded her I was going
shopping in the afternoon and we worked out times. Then Marnie made a
suggestion and upset the three of us again.
"Well, if you are going to start classes in the evening you'll need a
car. I'll have Paul find something used and MJs will purchase it. You
can use it for your own and during the day it will be another company
vehicle."
Clara stepped in and took the position that I had to earn some things
myself (despite the fact that she had been buying my clothing and
wasn't going to ask me to repay her) and that I could use the busses
and her van.
I sat back and watched the interplay and as if someone popped a strobe
in front of me I had a realization which stunned me. Marnie's role in
the triangle was the masculine one. She was the NASCAR loving guy who
gave gifts to the daughter, found a job for her and didn't work too
hard on parenting. Clara was the mother. She took the daughter to
church, showed her how to cook and shop and bothered about the clothes
and issues of responsibility. Both said that I had to make decisions
and together they would swamp me if I didn't take a stand.
This time I let them hash it out and Marnie won on the issue of a car,
Clara won on something I could not define and as I lay in bed that
night I could hear them making love across the hall and tried to
remember if I ever saw my parents demonstrating any kind of affection.
On Saturday morning we went to the bank and sat with the manager who
handled the finances for Aunt Clara's business. There was a little bit
of explanation and I ended up with a checking account in the name of
Andrea Dade. They said that in a short while they would figure out how
to handle a credit card.
Back at the house Clara started to teach me how to use the account but
I told her that I handled a lot of the books for my father. I didn't
mention that I helped him fix the books to show more expenses and less
income to fool the IRS.
A few minutes before 12:30, the doorbell rang and I introduced Maria to
Aunt Clara. They spoke for a bit as I grabbed my jacket and then I
kissed Aunt Clara on the cheek and climbed into Maria's car and we
headed to the mall. As Maria drove she told me that Tracie had called
to say she was stuck caring for a neighbor's kid. Then Maria looked
closely at me and then back at the road.
"You look better now. That was an ugly bruise. What happened?"
Relieved to hear that she had been looking at my bruise earlier, not
trying to figure out if I was really a girl, I let down my guard.
"My father hit me."
"What?"
From there it was easy to make up a bare bones story. Most of the facts
were true, though I left my father alive and out of state. It explained
why I was living in Williston, why I had almost no money and why I was
so awkward (controlling father, no social life, no money).
At the mall Maria took me in tow and we hit shoe stores, jewelry stores
and finally Target. Clara made sure I had more than a hundred dollars
in my wallet and as Maria moved around I followed her and picked up and
looked at clothes.
By saying that my father had controlled everything in the family and
denied me a social life I had hit on the perfect story. My awkwardness
or lack of knowledge was now my father's fault not a matter of me not
being female. I mentioned I had a Sunday afternoon party and Maria
decided I needed a dress.
As we pawed through the racks I regretted that Tracie hadn't come.
Maria was obviously the smarter of the two but Tracie had a firm
backside and nice breasts that I had been dreaming about. Somehow I had
to have sex before I died and what seemed like a difficult task as
Andrew was becoming an impossibility as Andrea.
Maria stood up holding a black lace dress.
"This would look great on you. It just shouts "gimme a tall thin body"
let's try it on."
I looked at the dress and tried to decide if she was right or nuts. The
shape was simple enough with a square neck and wide shoulder straps.
But it was composed of layer upon layer of lace. Each layer by itself
was transparent but together they were opaque. I nodded.
"What size are you?"
I remember Clara talking about it. "Oh I'm a six."
"You lucky bitch, I'd kill to get down to an eight. OK here, try it
on."
"I don't know Maria, it's pretty short and, well, uh can you see
through it?"
"No, it's great. It's gonna look great on you."
Stepping out of the dressing room I waited for alarm bells to ring but
all I heard was Maria telling me how hot I looked and asking if there
were going to be any guys at the party. I checked the price tag and
decided that on sale for $39.99 I would take it home and get Aunt
Clara's approval.
Maria bought a couple of tops and then insisted that I had to have
heels with the dress and pulled me into the Shoe Barn where we found a
pair of two inch heels that didn't hurt too much. After that I sat
while Maria looked at shoes she didn't intend to buy and then we
wandered the mall some more.
Part way through Maria took my arm and I felt awkward walking that
close to her. My head was saying "she is just being a girl out with a
friend" my loins were shouting "wow it's a girl, maybe a bit plump but
she's right next to you and you can see right down her blouse."
Somehow I got through it. We bumped into a crowd of Maria's friends and
had coffee. I smiled, talked a little, and was eyed by one guy who came
over and sat by me. Then we drove home and I listened while Maria told
me about Kevin who seemed to like me a lot.
Back at home Maria dropped me off and said she had to run. She leaned
out the car window, exposing a lot of breast, made me promise to call
her and tell her how the dress went over and zoomed off.
Inside I hung up my jacket and found a note from Clara saying she'd be
back around 5:00. I went into my bedroom, took off my clothes and
looked at the bags from the mall. I was wearing a tight pair of control
panties but they were white so I changed into a black pair and pulled
on some pantyhose. I was already wearing a black camisole so I pulled
the dress on and managed to button the two buttons in the back without
completely wrenching a shoulder. Then I stepped into the new shoes and
swung open the closet door.
I stood for a moment and then turned from side to side looking at
myself in the mirror. I felt awkward because the dress seemed very
short. I could also see the top of the camisole above the neckline I
tried to step back mentally and look at the girl in the mirror. Yes,
she looked good. In high school I wouldn't have laughed at her even if
big breasts were the real criteria of beauty in my male mind.
As I was looking I heard the front door open and Aunt Clara called out.
"Andrea can you help me with this bag?"
I went out as fast as I could in the new shoes and grabbed the large
bag from her helping her into the room. I tossed it on the couch and
turned to see her looking me up and down and smiling. She signaled me
to turn around and I did.
"Is this OK?"
"For what, for work no, for a party yes. Did you select it?"
"No Maria picked it out. Can I wear it tomorrow?"
"Well you will be a little overdressed but it would make Marnie very
happy. Turn around again. Hmm, you need different hose and the camisole
won't make it. You need to either go with nothing or a brassiere."
"Uhh, Aunt Clara, I don't have anything to put into a brassiere."
Clara smiled, "you and a lot of other women, particularly young ones.
Well it's back to the mall I'm afraid but I'll tell you what, we can go
shop now and have Indian food afterwards. OK? Go change into something
casual and we'll leave."
Fortunately the trip to the mall was quick. Aunt Clara bought me two
pair of virtually invisible black pantyhose and then took me into
Macy's to look at brassieres. She eyed me up and down until I was
really uncomfortable and then taking two bras she led me to the
changing room. It was bad enough then but worse when she walked in with
me and made me take off my top. I stood there blushing and almost in
tears as Clara in a matter of fact fashion ignored me and made me put
on first one bra and then the other.
"OK, it's this one. Oh honey what's wrong? Put on your top. I'm sorry I
forgot you're..., well, oh dear..., just give me the bras and get
dressed."
As we drove to the Indian restaurant I thought about the bag in the
back. Clara had insisted I get one black, one white and one light blue
bra. Now she was quiet as she drove the van.
"I am sorry Andrea. I got carried away. Women do help each other try
things on and I honestly forgot for a moment."
"It's alright."
"No it is not. I said once I would never intentionally embarrass you.
It was not intentional but I did overstep the bounds. I am sorry.
Oh..."
"What?"
"Nothing really. We still haven't purchased you pajamas."
At dinner I told her about shopping with Maria. I explained how telling
about Carl hitting me had provided a good story. I left out the details
of me getting sexually turned on and my issues about sex. I did raise
one important point.
"I've made a decision. Carl may have been a real ba.. really nasty and
hurt me and Mom, but I will not play the victim. I was hurt, I'll get
over it, I'm moving on."
Clara looked at me and gave me a big smile. "Great Andrea. The only
good woman is a strong one."
Chapter 3: A Common Experience
After church we came home and changed for Marnie's party. In Clara's
case it meant getting out of a nice dress and putting on casual slacks.
In my case it meant getting more dressed up and I started to regret my
choice in clothing.
I pulled on the black pantyhose and then tried to get into the
brassiere. Somehow I could not master the clips and shoulder straps and
admitting defeat had to ask Aunt Clara for help. I turned my back and
stood there humiliated as she guided my hands to the back. Then after I
was clipped in she explained how I could put it on backwards, clip it,
slide it around and shrug on the straps. Maybe her matter of fact
attitude helped but I calmed down as we talked.
When she left I looked at myself in the bedroom mirror. The black bra
had satin cups with a little padding and unless you looked closely you
couldn't detect the edges of the foam pads they held. I was a pretty
girl with all too visible ribs dressed in a black bra and pantyhose. As
a younger kid I would have done anything to have glimpsed me through a
window in the trailer park. I shrugged and got back to the task at
hand.
I pulled the dress over my head and shook it out. This time it was
easier to find and secure the buttons. Then I brushed my hair and
applied a little bit of eye shadow, some blusher and lipstick. Finally
I put on my shoes and walked around a little. Walking into the living
room I sat on the couch paying special attention to keeping my dress
gathered properly and not flashing the stereo cabinet.
I waited for Clara to come out and she had me stand up and turn. She
looked at me critically and taking me into the bathroom showed me how
to put on a little more eye shadow, commenting that the dress needed
it, not me.
"You need a nicer coat, a better pocket book than that nylon bag and
some jewelry. Go into my bedroom and take the necklace off the rack,
the one I loaned you last week. Then we have to get going."
I struggled into the van trying not to show off my underwear to the
world and began to appreciate why Marnie almost never wore a dress or a
skirt. Clara had handed me the keys and I fought with the pedals in my
two inch heels. Somehow we got to Marnie's place without crashing.
I assumed that Marnie would live in a house like Clara did but instead
she had a nice apartment in a new building downtown. We were among the
first there and Marnie gave me a big hug and a kiss and told me how
good I looked. Then I got to look around for a few minutes. I was just
starting to look at the pictures of cars on the walls when I was
drafted into carrying trays of food from the kitchen.
When I was done Marnie started to offer me a beer, Clara gave her an
icy look and I accepted a ginger ale. The guests started coming in and
I saw the different worlds Marnie and Clara lived in. At Clara's in the
evening people drank wine, ate cheese and talked. At Marnie's the
stereo was turned up, people drank beer and shouted across the room.
Clara was deep in conversation with two men dressed in identical
leather outfits and Marnie was looking at pictures on the computer with
some people and laughing. I could tell that Clara's "we can leave after
an hour or so" was a lost cause. I snacked on food listened into
conversations and ended up sitting on a stool watching the crowd.
While I was sitting there a man came and leaned against the wall next
to me. We looked at each other for a moment and I smiled and turned my
attention back to the crowd.
"Hi, my name's Pat. So how are you connected with this crew?"
I was surprised to be talked to as I was the youngest in the room by at
least ten years.
"Oh I work at Marnie's shop."
"Yeah, MJ's, a great place. What's your name?
"Andrea."
"I was wondering. Anyway compared to the rest of this bunch you look
like you are dressed for the ball. Nice dress too."
"Thanks."
I was starting to get uncomfortable as he moved closer to me and I
could feel the heat radiating from him.
"So where do you live?"
I mumbled something about living with my aunt.
"We could get the dancing going, how about it."
With that he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the floor. I pulled back
and he kept a grip on my wrist.
"Hey relax kid I just want to dance."
He came close and draped an arm over my shoulder. I stepped in to him
and with my left hand jabbed him hard below the ribs and he dropped his
hand and stepped back mouth open. The room was suddenly silent and
everyone was staring at us. I looked at him rubbing his side.
"No thanks." I said and sat back down. He said something under his
breath and as he walked away I could see from the stumble that he must
have more than a few beers.
Clara quickly came over followed by Marnie.
"Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I mean yes, I'm fine. He'll be sore tomorrow. I think he drank a
bit too much. Oh..."
I looked up because Pat was coming back, this time with a very grim
looking woman by his side. He stood there for a second and she nudged
him hard.
"Look I am sorry. I think I, I mean, well I shouldn't have grabbed you,
it's the..."
"Sorry Marnie, and sorry, uh right, Andrea. I'm taking Pat home."
When the couple left Marnie looked at me with raised eyes. "No matter
how sore you made him feel, Becky will make him feel a whole lot
worse."
"Who is she?"
"Hah, Becky? She is his wife and he is going to regret it tonight. Do
you want to go now?"
I thought about it for a minute.
"No, I'm fine."
I was starting to enjoy myself mingling with the people and began to
talk cars with a couple of the people when Clara came over. She stood
and listened for a few minutes and then indicated it was time to leave.
I looked at the clock on the wall and was shocked to see that we had
been there almost three hours. I said my goodbyes and grabbed my jacket
and followed Clara to the van.
When we were outside Clara leaned against the wall and started
laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"You are and we are. You sat on the stool looking so innocent and then
you bashed Pat. Oh and he did deserved it. Then we come running over
all worried and you look at us calmly as though all you had done was
turn down a drink."
I nodded and pointed at the van. By the time I was seated I was
laughing as well. Clara drove home and we talked about the people at
the party as we pulled into the driveway I said that I had never
grabbed someone like that when I was Andrew.
"Well it's a common enough experience. You handled it well though,
especially in that crowd. Maybe you should take a martial arts class.
It was a good party. I enjoyed myself. Let's get changed, relax and
have a late supper."
I learned that Sunday evening was the one evening when Clara always
watched TV and she sat engrossed in a historical drama while I read a
magazine. After a while I put it down and browsed the books on her
shelves.
"Try the Just So Stories. It's a slim red book. They were written for
children but only adults can really appreciate them".
I found the book and spent the rest of the evening learning how the
elephant got his trunk and the camel his hump. After I showered and got
into bed I propped myself up with a pillow and went on reading. Until
then my only reading had been for school and I had been bored. Kipling
played with words and rhythms and I found myself repeating "the great
grey-green greasy Limpopo River all spotted 'round with fever trees"
and rolling the words on my tongue like candies. Finally my eyes grew
too tired and promising myself I would read about the crab that played
with the sea and about the rhinoceros and his skin on another day. I
turned off the lights and fell asleep not to stir until morning.
At work the next day Marnie asked me again about the party and I told
her, honestly, that really enjoyed it. Then I settled down to work
trying to find enough to keep me busy on a slow Monday. Paul came by
and joked with me asking if I wanted a Corvette or a Ferrari. Tuck
said hello and Phil came by and flirted in his friendly and non-
threatening way.
I was glad to go home because a book waited for me and after dinner I
finished the tales and asked if Clara had anymore books by Kipling in
the house. She didn't and we made plans to get me a library card which
raised again the issue of my identification. Then with a book of short
stories by James Thurber I settled down to read and laugh and wonder at
the magic words could have in the hands of skilled author.
On Tuesday I decided that there was a particular twist to fate. If I
was wearing a skirt, particularly my shorter one, that was the day I
had to take the truck on an errand. Even at five foot nine, climbing
into a Ford 250 requires showing a lot of leg and I am sure that the
guys at the service building enjoyed the view.
Marnie asked me to take the truck to a tire warehouse and pick up some
tires that had just come in and she didn't want to wait for a delivery.
I climbed into the cab, ignored the whistles from to mechanics and
drove the ten or so miles to the store. I enjoyed being alone and it
was fun seeing the looks I got. Here I was, a girl in a skirt climbing
in and out of a F250 SuperDuty. I did my best to keep my skirt under
control but there are limits.
At the tire store I put up with the standard joking, turned down a
serious invitation to go drinking after work, signed for the tires and
drove back to MJs Classic Motors. Getting there I had to park to the
side because a delivery van was there. I watched the driver load
cartons onto his hand truck and bring them in where Phil signed for
them. Then I handed Phil the keys to the truck and got back to work.
My cell phone rang and Clara asked if I needed anything from the
supermarket because she was leaving the office early. I chased a couple
of kids off the Rolls Royce while their parents ignored them and looked
at a Jaguar. I answered phones, made copies, greeted people and the day
went by.
At home that night I completed the enrollment form for the community
college reserving a place in a basic English Literature course on
essays. Clara used her credit card to make the payment and told me I
had to sit down with Mr. Appleton, her lawyer, to discuss issues about
identity. The rest of the evening was finishing the book by Thurber
and hunting through the bookcases for other short story and essay
collections. I also called Maria and told her about signing up for a
class and agreed to meet her and Tracie at the Caf? on Friday.
Waking up the next day the first thing I saw was a stack of books by my
bed and I jumped out of bed feeling good about the world. Feeling
daring I pulled out a sweater that Clara had bought me but I had not
yet worn. It was made of a thin cable knit fabric. It was black, clingy
and had a zipper in the front with large exposed metal teeth and a big
silver ring.
After I washed up and put on the foam pancakes I pulled on the tightest
briefs, a pair of closely tailored slacks and then the sweater. What
little shape I had was displayed and I looked in the mirror in shock.
"Wow. Jesus, if that walked down the hall at me I would have dropped my
books." Andrew took over and for a good two minutes I just stared.
Hearing Clara moving around I shook myself back into reality and went
out for breakfast.
Aunt Clara gave me a long look over her coffee and I felt myself
becoming defensive. She swallowed, gave me another look and then spoke.
"What you are wearing is acceptable. However you do realize that you
are also sending a signal?"
"I think so. Maybe."
"There is no maybe about it Andrea. That outfit, which looks good on
you, says "look at me" and people will. If that is what you want then
fine. Women dress to be looked at. I do, Marnie does, and now you are
dressing that way as well. I just wanted to make sure you understood.
Also you need a brassiere with that or it doesn't look realistic."
I explained that I thought about it looking in the mirror and would
change after breakfast. Then we moved on the other topics. Aunt Clara
said that she thought Marnie was going to follow though with the car,
possibly today, and I asked when we could go and get me a library card,
which led back to me seeing Mr. Appleton.
At work, it being the beginning of the month, the prior month's
delivery sheets were on my desk waiting to be checked and I sat down
matching them to order forms and making sure that there were no
discrepancies. Just as I was getting into them Paul and Marnie came
over.
"Hey Andrea, come out back."
I went, knowing that this meant they had found me a car. I wondered
what it would be, dreaming of a sports car or classic sedan. What
greeted me was a mid-sized Chevy pickup with a crew cab. On the side
was painted "MJs Classic Motors."
I stood speechless. My mind went back to Marnie saying that during the
day it would be a company vehicle. I turned to thank her but she was
already speaking.
"It's perfect Andrea. You can use it to run errands and it is smaller
than the Ford. It has four wheel drive so you'll be safe in the winter
and with a crew cab you can pick up friends."
As I thanked her, Paul went on about the mileage, the options and
finally handed me the keys.
I looked at the two sets of keys. One had an MJs Motors key ring and
the other just a paper tag. I gave Marnie a hug and then because he
seemed to want one I gave Paul a hug as well. Phil came over and told
me that the shop had worked on the truck and it seemed in good shape
and then I went back to my desk to call Clara, tell her about the truck
and then return to the order forms.
I went through the forms in chronological order and reaching the end of
the month bundled them and was about to pass them on to Susan. Then I
stopped and thought. Something was wrong. I went through the forms a
second time and could find no errors. I tried to tease the thought into
the open but it was like trying to get something from between your
teeth. You know it's there and it irritates you but your tongue just
can't find it.
It was while I was eating lunch that I realized what I was worrying
about. Working in the junk yard I had developed the ability to look at
a pile of things and immediately know how many was in the pile. I could
glance at two stacks of tires for example and know, without thinking
about it that I was looking at twelve tires, or nine, or eighteen and
how many were in each pile.
The last invoice of the month was for the delivery I had seen when I
brought the tires back. The order slip said five cases of oil and I
could swear there were only four. It also said four cases of flannel
shop rags and I was sure I saw only three. I did the math in my head. A
case of rags was 12 containers and bought in quantity would run about
$84 a case. The oil came in two gallon containers and was roughly $118
a case of eight. Put it together, if I was right, the order was short
about $200.
I went back to the desk and pulled out the delivery book and traced
down the list counting the number of deliveries from the parts company.
While we got various small orders, twice a month they delivered the
standard loads, such as oil, coolant, rags, and other constants of the
automotive trade.
The more I thought about it the more I could poke holes in my theory. I
might not have a seen the whole delivery. I might just be wrong about
what I did see. None-the-less I made a small note in the calendar and
settled back to being the receptionist for the rest of the day.
Clara was right. My outfit did attract looks. Paul gave me an extra
smile, Marnie a set of raised eyebrows and a customer glanced at me a
few times when he thought I wasn't looking. I tried to figure why I
liked being looked at. I wasn't trying to get men to ask me out. I
decided it was just nice to be noticed for being well dressed and clean
rather than because I was dressed in the oily rags I used to wear.
That evening I drove the truck home and Clara came out and just shook
her head.
"I don't know Andrea. Marnie says she'll find an appropriate vehicle
for a young woman and you end up with this. Yes it's practical, though
it will eat gas, and yes it's safe but, oh well, that's just Marnie.
Come in and help me set the table."
Chapter 4: A Doctor, School and Losses
My papers came back from the college telling me that I was now enrolled
in Lit. 103 The Essay and would have classes Mondays and Thursdays from
8:00 to 9:30 with Prof. Missisca. I worked hard, went out with Tracie
and Maria, fended off Kevin and read everything I could get my hands
on.
I had a long uncomfortable session with Mr. Appleton the lawyer where I
discovered that changing a name was not that hard, just inconvenient
and after visits to the town hall, the motor vehicle bureau, the
library (hooray) and the county courthouse I was outfitted with a new
drivers license (I needed one anyway now that I had moved to a new
state), a library card and a feeling that I was becoming Andrea more
and more.
I suppose that it was Mr. Appleton's business as my lawyer but he
delved into every aspect of my life. Marnie and Clara were practical
women but when it came to me they were also dreamers. Mr. Appleton was
as practical and cold as a t-wrench in January. Part way through asking
me about bank accounts, credit cards (I now had a MasterCard with a
miniscule credit line) and my benefits at work he mentioned health
care.
"I don't know. I don't have a doctor."
"That's OK you can always find one. Anyway you are healthy. When did
you last have a checkup?"
I thought about it. I never got sick, or if I did I was told by my
father to stop whining and get to work. So I had to think long and
hard.
"I think it was in my freshman year. I needed a physical to play
sports."
"Am I correct Andrea in saying then that you have not seen a doctor in
approximately five years?"
I left with a lecture on health, responsibility and instructions to
find a doctor and have a physical.
While trying to sort that out I battled with Aunt Clara over money,
because I wanted to share in some of the household expenses now that I
was being paid. Finally I backed down and just bought the occasional
load of groceries and once in a while cooked her a dinner.
I knew somehow that talking to Aunt Clara about a doctor was not a good
idea. I don't know why but it felt like a forbidden topic so one
morning I arrived early at work and sat with Marnie in her office.
"Five years? Holy shit kid, what were you thinking? OK, sorry. It
wasn't you it was that fuckup Carl. Oh Christ, five years. Yes you have
to see a doctor. Your benefits cover this so it's not a money issue.
Let me think."
I interrupted Marnie to remind her about the issue of me showing up as
Andrea and then getting an examination.
"You are right and I am thinking about that. I think you need to see my
primary care doc. Not that she is necessarily the best for you but we
are friends and I can call her before hand and...
"Wait, a woman doctor?"
"Why not, most women see male doctors."
I thought about it and saw her point. Marnie said she'd call first and
then I would call and make an appointment. I sat in the small staff
room and drank some coffee waiting for the day to start. Through the
window I saw the delivery van from the parts store park and watched the
driver move loads to where Phil was waiting.
I counted carefully. Four cases of oil in two gallon containers; two
cases of flannel rags, a case of windshield washer fluid, two cases of
radiator coolant and two boxes of what looked like assorted parts. I
pulled out a small pad I carried with me and wrote down the date and
what I saw. In two weeks time I'd see the paperwork. Feeling a little
sick because I really liked Phil I finished my coffee and got ready for
work.
It was getting colder and the business was slowing down. Marnie said
that was perfect because I could bring in schoolwork. I also had time
to make an appointment with Dr. Alice Franck. So it was that one day I
left work early, bundled up in a sweater and jacket and drove the truck
into town to see a physician for the first time since I was 14.
I walked into the office and signed "Andrea Dade" on the check in
sheet. The receptionist smiled, apologized for the amount of paperwork
I'd have to fill out and the fact that Dr. Franck was running about
twenty minutes late and then handed me a clipboard.
I sat and filled out form after form. Most were easy, such as the form
that asked me what insurance plan I had, but one was a health
questionnaire and some of the questions were impossible to answer
logically. I mean how was I to answer a question about the frequency
and length of my periods or when I started having them. I felt
embarrassed writing down that I was not sexually active. I left a
number of items blank.
When I was done I went back to the window where I was told to hang on
to the questionnaire and they took the rest of the forms. I sat back
down and leafed through a travel magazine.
"Andrea?"
I looked up. A nurse smiled and beckoned me to follow her.
"Now I just need to get your height, weight, blood pressure and then if
you can give me a urine sample, you do know how to do a clean catch?"
When all that was done I was left in an examination room where the
nurse looked at a note and gave me a quizzical look.
"Doctor Franck writes that you shouldn't change into a gown, so I guess
just sit here. She should be in shortly."
I sat and looked around the small room and was starting to get upset
with the wait when there was a knock on the door and Dr. Franck
entered. I looked at her for a moment and took in a short, thin woman
in her fifties. She smiled a big smile and pointed to a chair.
"Hello. Do you like to be called Andrea or Ms. Dade? Andrea? OK. Well I
am Dr. Franck and I had a long talk with Ms. Jarman; a very long talk.
Normally I would not speak to someone else about a patient without
their permission but you are something special. It's says here that you
last saw a doctor about five years ago. Well let's get started. We
start with questions and answers and then I'll do an examination."
I liked, and still like, Dr. Franck. She asked embarrassing questions
in a gentle manner. I told her about my history. She learned about
Carl's abuse of my mother and me. She learned a bit about who Andrea
was. When that was done she left as I changed into a gown. Marnie had
suggested I not glue on the forms so it was easy to take off the
blouse, bra and forms and sit wearing nothing but panties and gown and
wait on the chilly table.
Dr. Franck probed, prodded, looked in my eyes and ears, listened to my
heart and lungs and seemed to spend a lot of time looking and feeling
first my genitals, then my wrists and ankles and finally my genitals
again.
When she was done the nurse came back and to my horror drew what seemed
to be an unending amount of blood. Finally I got dressed and Dr. Franck
came in again.
"Now Andrea, I am going to wait for the results of your urinalysis and
blood tests to come back. That will be about a week. Someone from my
office will call you and either we will say everything is fine and see
us in a year, or we'll ask you to come in. You seem to be in good
health. Say hi to Marnie. Bye."
A few days later I drove to the college and sat with about thirty other
students in a dull classroom and began to learn about the essay. I was
one of the younger of the students and learned that the six week
classes were usually taken by adults coming back to school after a long
break or people just taking a course out of interest.
Professor Missisca went around the room and we introduced ourselves. We
each said our name, level of education, where we worked and a favorite
author.
"Hi, I'm Andrea Dade and I've graduated from high school. I work at MJs
Classic Motors. I am not sure I have a favorite author but I really
like James Thurber, also Kipling."
Prof. Missisca gave me a long look when I said who I liked to read and
then we moved on. I didn't recognize a lot of the authors and began to
feel over my head. After we had gone around the room the professor
started to lecture and I took notes and the feeling of being back in
school came over me.
It was stuffy in the classroom and I struggled to keep awake. I was
glad when after forty minutes we got a break. I stood and stretched and
then joined the other women going to the bathroom. After the break
Professor Missisca covered a few more points. She told us what to read
for the next class and then discussed how she would be grading.
As I walked out to the parking lot a man caught up with me.
"Hey, did you say you work at MJs?"
"Yes." My heart started pounding and I could feel my fists clenching.
"Great. Say hi to Susan for me. I'm Bob, Bob Andrews. See you on
Thursday."
My pulse slowed down and I got into the truck and drove home. Why was
it that someone calling to me made me jump; A memory of my father
shouting at me; Fear that someone would figure out Andrew/Andrea, or
just being nervous.
I got home, told Clara about the class and when I was done looked at
her closely. She had a big grin on.
"Ok, what is it?"
"Go into your room Andrea, you'll see I finally remembered."
I gave her quizzical look and walked in. On my bed were laid out two
pairs of pajamas and a nightgown. One of the PJs was white flannel with
a print of pink bows. The other was navy blue cotton with short
sleeves. The night gown would go below my knees and was white with thin
blue stripes, a little lace and a bow at the neck. I turned to look at
Clara who was standing in the door.
"Thank you Aunt Clara. Thanks."
I gave her a hug.
"Which one should I wear while reading tonight?"
"Would you wear that one?"
So after I washed up, I pulled on some panties with a little lycra
control and tucked myself away. Then I slid into the nightgown and
taking the collection of essays for school I went into the living room
and Clara and I sat and read. I could see she would occasionally look
at me and smile. Somehow having a girl in a demure nightie, reading in
the room with her gave her deep satisfaction. When I kissed her
goodnight I could feel the peace radiating from her.
On Thursday I turned in an essay and sat through class desperately
trying to not yawn. The material was interesting but I was conditioned
by years of boring high school classes. I worked on Saturday and had
Monday off. I spent Monday running errands, reading and working on my
next essay for class and then after cooking dinner for Clara, ate
supper and headed out to class.
In class we got our first essays back and I was disappointed to see a
C+ on it. I had worked hard on the piece. There was also a note at the
bottom "Andrea please see me after class, DM".
After class I went up to Professor Missisca and we talked a bit. She
complimented my writing but said I had a lot of work to do. Then she
suggested I come in about an hour early on Thursday and we could go
over the piece I just handed in. Another student joined us and we
continued talking for a little while and I left feeling better about
the C+.
On Tuesday I dressed in a new outfit I picked up on Monday. It wasn't
that special, tailored corduroys and an embroidered blouse. More and
more I was wearing the brassieres and Aunt Clara pointed out that the
blouse was thin enough so that a trace of the brassiere could be seen.
I went back looked in the mirror and decided to wear it anyway.
At work reality struck when the prior month's order slips and invoices
were dropped on my desk. I took out the slip of paper from my wallet
and found the paperwork for that date. We had paid for five cases of
oil and three cases of coolant. I had watched carefully and saw the
delivery. Phil had signed the slip. I remembered the cheap little games
my father had played and knew what was going on. Feeling sick I worked
my way through the papers, passed them on the Sue and then tried to
concentrate on work.
I looked up when a rattling noise filled the room and I watched as some
of the mechanics rushed to get the outdoor cars covered as sleet came
down. While they pulled tarps over the cars, I saw Phil rush out
carrying their coats, getting them to stop and put them on. It seemed
unfair. If I was to spot fraud why wasn't it being done by someone I
didn't like?
Phil came in and stopped at the desk. He smiled, joked a bit, suggested
that maybe we could double date sometime, then hit his head with the
palm of his hand and "remembered" he was married. Later he joked with
Susan about running away together to the Caribbean. I just sat and
hated him.
I wished I had someone I could talk to. Clara would see it in black and
white terms. Marnie was out because if there was something to report it
would be to her. Maria and Tracie were nice but this was not something
I wanted to discuss with them. I felt as alone as I ever had. I bent
down and made some notes on an essay by Melville and tried to lose
myself in the world of words.
My mind kept spiraling and I couldn't just sit there. Finally I grabbed
my purse and knocked on Marnie's door.
"Can I see you for a moment Ms. Jarman?"
"Yes of course Andrea, close the door. What's wrong?"
After about fifteen minutes I went and retrieved the past two months of
slips from Susan and with her following went back to Marnie's office.
Feeling ready to vomit I told my story again and pointed out the slips
in question and showed the paper on which I had written down my
observations. Susan questioned me closely and then we all sat in
silence.
"Andrea?"
"Yes Ma.. Ms. Jarman?"
"Go back to work. I hope you are wrong. Phil has been with us for
almost eight years however you are correct that there is a flaw in our
system of checking on purchases. You were right to come to me and you
will not, uh, will not, well even if there is no problem I'm glad you
said something. Now go back to work and don't say anything about this."
"Yes Ms. Jarman."
As I left that night I passed by Marnie's office and she and Susan were
sitting going over papers. They looked up grim faced, nodded and went
back to work. I went home feeling miserable, was snappy with Clara and
crawled into bed early refusing to tell her what the problem was.
Wednesday was no better and when Phil came around on his usual tour of
jokes and double entendres I smiled a bit and went back to work. I
finished my next essay and put it aside to edit it the next day and sat
glumly at the desk. Finally I had to say something and at dinner I told
Clara what was going on.
"You were right to do what you did dear. You also were right in waiting
until you could check on what you believed. If Phil is embezzling then
Marnie and Susan will find out. If he isn't then they will let you know
and no one will be harmed."
"But I like Phil."
"I know Andrea. Maybe it's because he is so likable that he could do
this without getting caught. If you had seen him loading the oil into
his car and driving away with it would you have a problem telling
Marnie?"
"No."
"Well theft is theft. Come into the living room and sit with me. I'll
clear the dishes later."
We sat late into the night. I snuggled up to Clara and we talked. This
was the kind of talk I should have had with my mother. When I went to
bed I lay awake for a long while. I knew Clara prayed every night and
morning and I tried to pray but all I could feel was the vast emptiness
above me. The chill of the night and the dark came upon me and huddled
under the blankets I escaped into sleep.
Phil was still there on Thursday and Marnie and Susan acted as if
nothing at all was awry. I left a few minutes early and drove directly
to school eating a nutrition bar as I drove in lieu of dinner. Phil had
joked about the tight fit of my slacks and how the dark red pattern on
my blouse was like a stop light. He also joked with Susan about her
hair style and accused Paul of going Metro Sexual. It was all so
innocent and funny.
I went to Professor Missisca's office and for a few minutes we talked
about my second essay. This time I had achieved a B- and she said it
was much better. Then she sat down on the couch and pointed next to
her.
"Tell me about yourself Andrea. You seem different from the rest of the
students. I am sure there are some major gaps in your education."
I sat down and said a few things about how education was not valued in
my family and stopped cold when Missisca put her hand on my thigh. I
turned and saw her smiling at me.
"No I want to know about other types of education. Such as where you
learned to dress like you do."
"Uhh..."
"Yes, for example" and she poked a finger into the breast form " why
you chose to go with small forms and what your name really is. Is it
Andy, or Alex or Tom or Dick?"
"I have to go now."
I started to get up but she swiveled, put an arm across me and leaned
in. As I tried to speak she kissed me and putting a hand behind my
head pulled me in tight. For a moment I fought and then I yielded.
We kissed and she guided my hands to her blouse and I unbuttoned it
exposing her large breasts in a white lace bra and entered heaven as
she undid it and guided my lips first to one nipple and then another.
A couple of times it came to me what we were doing but she shushed me
and stroked my growing erection or bit me on the shoulder or neck.
Finally we were almost naked and she lowered herself on my penis. I was
mortified that I hadn't achieved a full erection but it didn't seem to
bother her and grabbing my shoulders she rode up and down as she told
me how sexy it was to "ball a young woman who has everything I desire."
I was desperate to reach orgasm but seemed unable to. To Missisca it
must have seemed as though I was holding back and she kept telling me
to "hold on Andrea, that's right hold on" and finally I made a mental
effort and exploded and she bucked up and down on top of me.
We lay on the couch and I felt her weight pressing down on me making it
hard to breath. I was about to ask her to move when she started
talking.
"Now Andrea, this is a one time event. We enjoyed ourselves and I think
I expanded your knowledge. It won't help your grades but then I don't
think you will need help by the end of the course. I'll get up now.
We'll clean up and then it's time for class."
I was stunned. I always assumed that with sex came some kind of
attachment. She handed me some tissues and started to dress. I watched
as she put a pad in her panties and asked me to fasten her bra. Then
she helped me get dressed. As I put myself together I noticed a picture
of her, a man and two children. She saw me looking.
"That's right. That's my husband, the great architect. He screws his
clients and I spread for the occasional student. When the kids are
older I'll divorce his ass and take his prize winning house. Right now
I just have my fun. You need to touch up your lipstick. This was fun,
but now it's over and we have five minutes to get to class."
"How did you know I wasn't a girl?"
"Oh that. During the first class you yawned and stretched. You weren't
wearing a bra and I could see that you had no nipples. Then I started
watching very carefully. I wasn't actually entirely sure. Anyway I
didn't care. I'll have fun with an Andrea as easily as an Andrew. I
could tell from class discussions and how you wrote that you wouldn't
run away."
I sat in class hoping to get some signal that we had done something
special together but it was as if nothing had happened. During the
break Professor Missisca came by, talked with us and, giving me a
smile, mentioned how timing was so important and how a good writer
waited until the right moment to bring out the big guns. Then she moved
on and I didn't know if it was some form of acknowledgment or just
ordinary conversation.
Most of all I wanted to want to crow about what I had done. I just had
sex with a woman. I wasn't a virgin. A woman had stroked me while I
kissed her nipples and plunged my face between her breasts. I felt as
though I should be boasting but all I wanted to do was go home and take
a shower. I felt like a mountain climber who reaching the peak
discovers the view is worthless.
The next morning Phil did not come into work and the news spread that
he had been caught embezzling and been arrested.
Chapter 5: Tests and Tests
Sitting at the desk on Friday I was shaken. The story was that Susan
had noticed a discrepancy in the paper work and she and Marnie had
chased it down. Rumors spread of course. Some had Phil embezzling a
thousand dollars, another had him embezzling twenty grand. Just when I
felt as if I could take no more my cell phone rang.
"Hello."
"Hello could I speak to Andrea Dade."
"Oh, that's me."
"Hi Andrea. This is Priscilla from Dr. Franck's office. The results of
your tests are back. She wants to see you again but said it is not an
emergency so just make an appointment for sometime in the next week or
two."
"What's wrong."
"Oh I can't tell you that over the phone. But if it were serious Dr.
Franck would have called you herself and asked you to come in
immediately. When is a good time for you to come in?"
I made an appointment and sat just looking out into the grey morning
light. Nothing seemed to be going right. I had stumbled on Phil's game
and now he was in jail. I finally had sex and it just didn't seem worth
the effort and now Dr. Franck wanted to see me again.
I answered the phones and fortunately it was a busy day so I my mind
was occupied. When Clara got home I told her about Phil and then about
the call from Dr. Franck's office.
"I am sure it is nothing Andrea. Doctors just like to be over careful."
I was looking for reassurance but Aunt Clara just blew it off and went
on to plan the weekend. I was working on Saturday and we discussed
Saturday evening and Sunday, and as I put away the dishes I felt as
though I was in the way. She and Marnie were going to spend Saturday
together and she would stay at Marnie's that night. I'd be on my own. I
settled in bed and lost myself in reading.
I would work Monday as well and get some overtime but I also would be
going to class and have to face Professor Missisca and pretend nothing
had happened. Then on Wednesday I'd come in late because I was seeing
Franck. I turned off the light, pressed my face in the pillow and
slowly cursed.
After work on Saturday I drove to the caf? and looked around to see if
Maria or Tracie was there. They weren't but there was music and some
empty seats so I bought a sandwich and a cup of cocoa and sat down to
listen and eat. Just as I was about to take my first bite I heard my
name called and Kevin dropped into the seat next to me. I started to
smile at him when I heard his name called and Alex came over and sat on
the other side of me.
I met Alex weeks earlier when I first came to the caf? and he had
ignored me and flirted with Tracie and Maria. I can't blame him, they
both are more attractive than me. Now I was between Kevin who had taken
a liking to me and Alex who, with no one prettier around, was ready to
play the macho game.
I needed something to take my mind off things and enjoyed myself
fending off questions, joking around, saying that I wasn't dating at
the moment and accepting a cocoa from Kevin. As fun as it was, it was
a relief when Tracie came in and the guys' attention was divided
between us.
When I got up to leave it was late and Tracie begged a ride home.
"Kevin's nice, you should go out with him."
I made a noncommittal noise.
"No really and he's got a nice set of buns and dresses nice if a little
Goth. I'm glad Maria wasn't there, she has the hots for Alex and I
think has screwed him a couple of times."
"What?"
"Sure, he's hot and drives a great car. I like this truck by the way. I
wouldn't mind getting in the sack with him. I haven't had sex in weeks
and my hand is shaking, I've used the vibe so much."
I nearly gagged but Tracie once she started talking was a nonstop flow
and I listened to details about her and sex until I dropped her off at
her house.
"Thanks for the ride Andrea. You should grab Kevin. I bet he can kiss
real good."
I drove home laughing the whole way. Pulling into the driveway I tried
to figure out where Aunt Clara was and then remembered she was over at
Marnie's. As I went through the mail my brain was swirling with images
of Clara and Marnie, Maria having sex with Alex and Tracie lying in bed
with a vibrator.
I showered and got dressed in my innocent looking pajamas and then
realized that tomorrow I would wake up in an empty house an