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Pushed Out Part 2: The Agreement free porn video
Pushed Out 2
On Saturday morning, I woke up to the realization that all of my
Facebook friends had seen a photo of me wearing lipstick and nail
polish. A lady in the lounge named Peeper, who then said she was a
neighbor, had taken the photo with her cell phone camera, with the
encouragement of my assistant Ivy and her friend Lisa. She'd posted it
and tagged it with my Facebook ID so it would show up in all my friends'
"feeds." I was ruined.
My wife Edith was evidently up already. I went down to the kitchen,
where I found a half-full pot of coffee. I poured myself a cup and took
a sip, noting my coral-tipped fingers around the cup. I looked out the
window and saw Edith on the deck. I walked out and managed a smile.
"Sleep OK?" I asked, trying to avoid the elephant in the room.
"Not as well as you did. So how are you feeling about things this
morning?"
"A little overwhelmed, if you really want me to be honest. That Peeper
girl really did me in."
Edith just smiled. "Well, I have a little confession to make. I put her
up to it. I set it up with Ivy yesterday morning. Don't worry ... she
just thinks this is all a big joke -- so far."
"That doesn't undo what she did," I said. "I'm fucked."
"Well, if you're lucky maybe we can arrange that later," she said with a
wink. "But you need to know that Ivy went into your Facebook account
yesterday and tweaked your privacy settings. Apparently, you can set
them so that when someone tags you in a photo, nobody can see it until
you approve it. Nobody's seen it but Peeper, Lisa, Ivy and me."
"But you were looking at it on your Facebook page."
"Private message from Peeper. She'd promised to send it to me. But it
hasn't actually been posted to anybody's feed. Would you like to go in
and approve it now?"
"No!!"
Edith laughed out loud. "Don't worry Princess. We're not outing you on
Facebook. In fact, I want to reassure you that while I've started
pushing you and forcing the issue, I won't do anything you can't handle.
And you can stop everything on a dime at any time. Just say Condition
Red, and we'll stop. Do you want it to stop?"
I remained silent for several moments before answering. "No, not
really."
"Come on. Let's get some breakfast," said Edith. We went inside and she
cut up a bowl of fresh fruit for each of us. "We don't have any muffins.
Would you like me to make you some toast?"
"No thanks. So can we talk about this? I think I need to at least
understand what the hell this is all about," I said.
"It's about me loving you very much -- so much that I'm willing to have
my entire life turned upside. And it's about your very devoted
assistant. You're really lucky to have her. She works her ass off, your
clients love her and you can trust her with anything."
"True. But she was pretty reckless yesterday."
"You're right. Not about her being reckless, but about you needing to
know what's going on. This is your life, and we can't make decisions
that affect it without your agreeing to it. That simply wouldn't be
right. I'll tell you what. Let's see if she can come over, and the three
of us can discuss this whole thing together."
Ivy agreed to come over at 11. The three-hour wait seemed endless.
Finally, shortly before 11, Edith put on her lipstick.
"You need to get ready now. I have a lip gloss that matches your nails,
and I put it out on the dresser. I know you know how to use it. Other
than that, you can just wear your own clothes for the moment." I waited
nervously, and finally the door rang.
"Hi Boss," she said. "You recovered from yesterday?"
"Not really. Edith told me about the big Facebook joke. But I'm OK. How
about you?"
"Oh, I had a blast," said Ivy. "Couldn't you tell?"
"Well," said Edith, "It's time to all get on the same page. I just made
a fresh pot of coffee. Want some?"
We both accepted and settled into chairs out on the deck. Despite my
self-consciousness about my nails, I held my large mug with both hands.
My lip gloss left a big mark on the mug.
Edith exhaled, paused and turned to me.
"Honey, we've been together for more than 20 years, and I've never loved
you more than I do today. And I know you've been more than devoted to me
the entire time. But over the years, I sensed that there was some
conflict within you. It took me a long time to even form an opinion as
to what it was about. I think I know part of the story, but I want to
make sure. Honestly, I'm not even sure you know fully yourself. Let me
ask you this. How long were you crossdressing before we started noticing
things?"
"I've really only dressed a few times. But I have used makeup now and
then just to see how it looked and felt for a couple of years," I said.
"More than that," said Ivy. "You've actually gone out to the mall and
walked around wearing it, haven't you? I saw you once."
I knew the time she was referring to. I thought I had spotted her early
enough to dodge her, but apparently she got close enough to see my
makeup. Probably the pink lips.
"Let me ask you this. When did you first start wanting to do this? And
keep in mind, I don't have a problem with it. Do you, Ivy?"
"Not at all. In fact, I think it's healthy to try things when you're
feeling urges," she said.
"So I want to make sure you understand that we don't want to condemn
you, hurt you or judge you. We don't want to force you to do anything
you don't want to. Nor do we want you to feel that you have to hide
anything from us. We both love you. Well, I do, and Ivy certainly has
proven her devotion for the past six years," said Edith.
"That's true," I said.
"So you can answer honestly ... when did you first feel the urges to
wear makeup and do girly things?"
"Honestly, before puberty. Being around it with my older sisters would
... excite me when I was no more than 10 or 11 years old," I said.
"And when we first talked about it, and I gave you permission to follow
these urges, why did you choose to do it in secret rather than openly,
where I could support you?"
I hung my head.
"Are you ashamed, Kerry?" Edith asked.
"Maybe. Maybe more afraid than ashamed. But definitely it just seemed
like something that should be kept secret."
We sat silently for several minutes. Edith strolled over and looked out
the window.
"You know you gave me permission to take control of your ... identity,
right? How did you feel about what happened yesterday?" asked Edith.
"It was uncomfortable, but I can't say it was bad."
Ivy turned to me. "How did you feel about my exposing you to Lisa?"
"She seemed pretty cool with it," I said.
"I didn't ask how she seemed," said Ivy. " I asked how you felt about
it."
Honestly, I told her, it was a turn-on.
Edith continued to look out the window. "How about our neighbors? Liz?
Peeper?"
"I didn't even know who Peeper was."
"Well, I knew when Liz has her nail appointment, so I had Ivy send you
when she'd be there. I was a little worried about that, because she is
pretty pushy. And you can bet she's told everybody she knows by now,"
said Edith.
I hung my head again.
"It's OK. We're still at a stage where we can back away from this.
That's why I wanted to have this conversation this morning. It was just
one day. We can explain it all away as a practical joke or a bet, and
you're off the hook. But if we continue today and tomorrow, that option
dies away and you're committed. You'll be a sissy and probably lose some
friends. People will laugh behind your back. Are you OK with that?"
Edith asked.
"Are you?" I asked.
"You said that you really started wanting to be feminine when you were
10 or 11. Have you felt that way ever since?" asked Ivy.
"Pretty much."
"All those years of hiding that part of yourself must have been pretty
tough on you. I can see hiding it from me. We work together. But it must
have been painful to hid these feelings from Edith."
Edith, who had been staring out a window, turned around. I could see a
tear on her cheek.
"Yesterday was an experiment," said Edith. "All your life, you've feared
what would happen if people knew your secret, right? You were afraid of
what people would say if they saw you wearing makeup or dresses or nail
polish."
"Of course."
"Yet, yesterday, you got outed, as it were, to Lisa, to Liz and a whole
salon full of cackling women, and to Peeper. And we made you think you
were exposed on Facebook as well. Yet, your world didn't end, did it?"
I chuckled slightly. "Not so far as I know."
"Let's say Liz tells the neighborhood. Can you live with that, knowing
that it can free you to finally be who you are - openly and proudly?"
Edith asked.
"I think I can."
"Do you wish to try?"
I paused a full minute. "Yes."
"Will you let Ivy and me train you in how to be a woman? Take you
shopping? You realize you'll never pass as a woman, so you'll always be
a male choosing to be feminine. You can't hide behind a wig. You'll be
Kerry in heels and makeup."
I sighed. "Yes."
"How about C*A*R*R*I*E?" asked Ivy.
"It's fine."
"Suppose we refer to you from here on as she? Can you live with that?"
asked Edith. "Remember, once that starts, you're committed."
"I'm ready to be free to be myself. I'll do what it takes," I said.
Edith turned to Ivy. "One thing I discussed with Carrie is that since
she'll never pass as a woman, I suspect maybe she actually enjoys some
humiliation. It is a common fetish. How did she seem today when you
embarrassed her in front of Lisa?"
"Honestly, I'd say she was enjoying it at some level, but she was also
afraid."
"So here's the plan," Edith said, turning her attention to me. "We're
going to put together a program that will expose you in increasingly
wide circles, in increasingly intense ways. You're going to be
humiliated in what most would consider some very cruel ways, but you'll
survive. And as you realize your world didn't end, you'll become more
secure, stronger, bolder and more willing to express your girly self. At
this point, I think the only unkind thing would be to allow you to
continue to build these walls you've been erecting all your life. You
are ready to be free. Do you trust me?"
"I trust you."
"And me?" Ivy asked.
"You too," I said.
"In that case, let's go do some shopping. Carrie has a long way to go
before going to work on Monday," said Edith.
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