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DEPORTED Barry lived in an apartment by himself at the age of 34. He was an only child and lost his parents at the age of 20. Except for one or two friends he had from work, Barry kept to himself. He also managed to keep his secret fetish of cross dressing to himself. For years he spent hours and hours privately dressing for his own pleasure and his biggest thrills came when he would try something new for the first time. Barry never ventured outside while dressed and never had much interest in becoming a woman. Contentment came from simply changing his appearance and the thrill he would get while doing it. Becoming a different person became his passion and the money he spent doing so climbed into the thousands over the years. When the thrill subsided, he was happy to return to his original look and go about his business. He was a modestly built man who stood at about 5'11 and weighed around 180 lbs. Because looking realistic was important, he detested body hair and constantly shaved and moisturized his skin. It was always soft and milky white and no one outside ever took notice to its feminine appearance. At birth he was given dark brown eyes yet he had an arsenal of color contacts available to suit his mood. Every color wig imaginable lined the shelves of one of his closets. From blond to brunet and purple to pink, the rainbow of options never left him void of a new look. His possessions were a cross dresser's dream come true. Occasionally he found a look he really liked and he'd take note of the combination that made it possible. There was a total of 3 or 4 looks he simply adored. One was a high class business woman in her solid black skirt suit and heels. With a black wig of hair pulled up in a bun, he would gaze into the mirror overtop the black wireframe glasses as though to show his complete disapproval to the board of directors. Next he would pop in solid blue contacts and flip on his strawberry blond straight haired wig with soft puffy bangs. He'd step into a yellow zip front one piece short sleeved dress whose neckline and cuffs were trimmed in white. Taking his still nylon covered feet, he'd slip on white ankle socks and solid white sneakers. After lightening his face a bit through a quick makeup change, he'd tie the white apron with pockets around his waist. The expression on his face changes from stern and powerful to a polite innocent smile as he is now a waitress from a local diner complete with a name tag that says "Allison". Yes, Barry could go from one end of the corporate ladder as CEO to an entry level minimum wage position in a matter of 30 minutes...and he LOVED it! It was self evident that he really wasn't happy being himself. And yet he had no idea why he felt better as a female. Perhaps it was the drastic difference it made in his appearance. And if he was being honest with himself, he often made a damn fine woman! ___________________________________________________ Feeling lost one day, Barry stood in the mirror completely void of ideas. "What haven't I been?" he thought to himself. As his eyes scanned the shelves of his closets, he saw several different looks which covered dancer, cheerleader, waitress, medical, military, stewardess, princess, anime, preppy, dorky, nun, gothic, western, athletic, musical and even vintage 70s and 80s fashions! Heavy depression set in as nothing "wowed" him any longer. Suddenly an idea popped in his head he had never tried and that was a beach look. He knew he never had a figure for a swim suit and his pasty white skin just wouldn't be believable enough. Armed with the challenge he presented upon himself, he started a crash diet to slim his figure down a bit. This gave him a few weeks to find a swim suit he liked and then he thought about getting some fake tanning cream to give him a bit of color. He managed to shed about 8 lbs. and found a one piece swim suit that wasn't too revealing. He stood naked in front of the mirror and applied the self tanning lotion to his arm. Several rubs from his shoulder to his wrist, his arm had become noticeably darker than the rest of his body. This began to excite him to no end as he had never seen his skin go darker. Up until now, he only spent time making it lighter than its natural shade. He carefully applied the lotion to his face and watched it instantly match the shade of his arm. Within 15 minutes, his entire body was covered in the self tanning lotion. He did nothing further than admire the new color of his skin. Yet it was already late and he wanted to save this for another time so he quickly showered it off and returned to his natural color. The next day at work, he couldn't help but think about going home and completing the look. "With blond hair, blue eyes and sun kissed skin, I will look stunning!" he dreamed. Once home, he quickly disrobed and grabbed his tube of tanner and began to coat himself. As he sang along to the radio, he finished up and noticed that his one arm was darker than the rest of his body. Then it dawned on him that he ended up coating his one arm twice because he wasn't paying close attention. While his body had a mild tan, his arm was almost a light brown color and he fell in love with it. In no time, he started applying a second coat to his face and watched the light brown color appear. A second coat was then applied to the rest of his body. He walked away to watch TV while he allowed it to dry. Over the next 30 minutes, he continued to glance down at his arms and hands. Each time he glanced down, they appeared a bit darker than before, almost like he was "developing" like an old Polaroid picture. He read on the tanning lotion label that "your color will continue to darken over 2 hours." He lost himself in TV and an hour later he noticed that his skin had gone from light brown to a golden tan color. He quickly darted over to the full length mirror to check out his new glow. It looked like he was out in the sun all summer long. This was a tan that most women would kill for. Stepping closer to the mirror, he examined his face in great detail. He noticed that he was starting to no longer look like himself. With a darker complexion, his facial features just weren't as prominent as they once were. His nose seemed slimmed down and his jaw line wasn't as prominent. This was an epiphany that lead him to the next move. How dark could he possibly go? How different would he look if he was EVEN DARKER than he was right now!? Excitement within him stirred as this new venture was changing him into someone he had not seen before. He carefully spread a third coat on his entire body and went back to the TV to allow it to dry. The 3rd coating didn't do too much at first. Rather it started to make his skin a bit oily. He watched his hands and arms patiently for his already tanned body to darken even further. And over the next 30 minutes as it dried, that's exactly what it did. His skin continued to darken deeper and deeper turning from a deep tan to a dark rich brown. He could no longer classify himself as Caucasian as he was now borderline black. Yet his skin tone was browner than it was black. As eager as he was to see himself in the mirror, he decided to feminize first and headed over to the closet. The idea of being a blond beach beauty had past. Now that his skin was much darker than any white blond girl could possibly tan, he chose to enhance his new look by making himself look a bit more ethnic. From the closet came a black and white sleeveless dress. Making sure the lotion had dried, he carefully pulled it on. Then he grabbed one of his long black straight haired wigs which hung down to his shoulders. He brought a small mirror up to his deep brown eyes and applied black eye liner to his upper and lower lids. He kept noting his dark hands and how they no longer appeared to be his own. He painted his lips with a dark mocha colored lip gloss and slipped his feet into a pair of black flats. He eagerly approached the full length mirror with his eyes tightly closed. He slowly opened them. Barry was gone...more so than he has ever been before. Before him stood a woman with rich dark brown Aztec copper skin. The pasty white nerdy American guy was nowhere to be found, only a very attractive well built Hispanic looking female. Barry had done something he didn't know was possible, he not only changed the appearance of his gender, he performed a racial transformation too! This was the very first time in his life that he almost no longer recognized himself. The dark color of his skin made his face appear smaller and more rounded. The eyeliner shaped his eyes to perfection. For a brief moment he was frightened that he had changed too dramatically. Yet the rush was unlike anything he'd known before. A plan was being concocted in his head. Being so completely unrecognizable, this could be the first time he'd venture outside! This would require more work and so for the night, he showered off and returned to good ole Barry once again. ________________________________________________________ The next morning Barry made a radical decision to stop at the mall and get his ears pierced. Something he always thought about, but never actually followed through with. It hurt quite a bit but he headed home with his "starter" studs in place and his instructions on how to care for them. Next he showered and shaved and applied the 3 layers of lotion to his body, watching it darken with each consecutive layer brought back the feeling of excitement once again. The ceiling fan whirred above him as he held his arms out to dry between each coat. Barry was going out! He had to make this look as believable as he could. Using tape, he pulled together his breasts to create the illusion of cleavage. Then came a black bra with breast forms followed by a corset and hip panties to give him shape. He slipped a purple tank top over his head and stepped into his favorite jean skirt. With his 8 lb. weight loss, his shape was perfect and his dark breasts looked realistic. A squirt of his favorite perfume made him smile. A black wig was affixed tightly to his head and he pulled it back into a tight ponytail while leaving some bangs in the front. Carefully the eyeliner was applied and then a light dusting of silver eye shadow. Then thick dark mascara brought his lashes to illegal lengths! To create an even better facial look, Barry applied lip plumper to his lips for several minutes before applying the dark mocha lip gloss. Even though he was warned NOT to do it, he pulled out his starter stud earrings and replaced them with large silver hoops. Around his neck, he hung a silver cross necklace and placed a lovely silver bracelet on his wrist. He placed an anklet around his one ankle and wore a pair of plain white Keds without socks. He loved the way the solid white sneakers contrasted against the dark brown color of his ankles. His bangs rested lightly on top of his thinned out brows. He examined his final look in the mirror. His skin was as smooth as glass. His deep dark brown body glistened from the light in the room. He rubbed his upper arms with his hands and noticed how unbelievably soft his skin felt. He knew that all those years of taking care of his skin had paid off. Stepping within inches of the mirror, he closely examined his face. His eyes were bright and chipper and filled with excitement. His lips were full and perfectly blended in both color and texture. He shook his head quickly to see both the hoop earrings and his ponytail swing back and forth. His eyes slowly scanned the soles of his sneakers to the tips of his bangs. He had done it! Something he had never achieved before or even dreamed was possible...he became a completely different person to his own eyes. With a huge smile across his face, he looked deep into his own dark brown tightly squinted eyes and whispered, "hola Seniorita!" Seeing himself as a beautiful Latina suddenly dispelled all his fears about going out. There literally was no way he would be recognizable to anyone! He grabbed a purse and placed some essentials and touch-ups in it and stood at his apartment door. He had no idea where we was going or what he would do. At this point, it no longer mattered because the "he" had become a believable "she"! The first thing she decided was that she wanted to see what it would feel like to be a Hispanic woman in a neighborhood that was predominately white. She had taken years of Spanish classes and could understand it and speak it somewhat. So she decided that if anyone approached her, she would simply act as though she couldn't speak English. This would keep her from having to interact with people directly. There was no immediate Spanish population that she knew of so running into another person was very slim. Knowing that her ID and credit cards would now be worthless, she pulled some cash from her wallet, slipped it into her pocket and tossed the wallet on the counter. The apartment door opened, she stepped outside and closed it behind her. _____________________________________________________________ No one saw her exit from the hallway but as she slowly ventured out front to the sidewalk, her upstairs neighbor came strolling in. They made eye contact for a few seconds while passing each other and that was it. She thought to herself, "I did it! Jim had NO idea it was me!" As she approached her car, she realized that some people did know what Barry normally drove. The bus made trips to the downtown shopping district so she decided that was a much better alternative. She wanted to visit Wal- mart to get some jewelry and figured public transportation was the best way to get there. The one block walk to the bus stop seemed to take forever. She began to feel more panic the further she got from her apartment safety net. She was the only person standing at the stop. Cars whizzed by quickly as the breeze caused her ponytail to sway back and forth. No one really seemed to care about her presence which put her mind at ease. The bus pulled up and opened its door. She quickly went inside and sat down on a sideways seat. The bus was filled with mostly commuter business people heading to the parking garage. She kept her head down while tightly clutching her purse in one arm and resting her other hand on her knee. Focusing on her legs, she once again realized just how dark her skin was. Her eyes roamed around the bus while noticing she was indeed the darkest person on board. No one made eye contact nor did anyone sit near her. While they talked amongst themselves, she sat in silence. Yet she didn't want to confront anyone verbally so that was for the best. But for the first time in her life, she felt misplaced...almost like she didn't belong. The bus arrived at the shopping district stop and she was the only one exiting. She paid her fare and started walking towards the store. Her feet were starting to hurt as her sneakers were rubbing loosely against the backs of her heels. This is longest she had ever worn these Keds and certainly the furthest she had ever walked in them! She stopped and kneeled down and tied them both tighter then carried on. Upon entering the store, the greeter smiled at her and exclaimed "Welcome!!" Barry grinned and softly returned an "Hola." As she headed down the aisle toward the jewelry counter, she felt her sneakers had once again loosened up. Fed up with the feeling, she made a quick detour to the shoe department. Approaching the boxes of Keds, she knew she was wearing a size 10.5 and grabbed a 10 from the shelf hoping it wouldn't be as loose. Placing her right foot in the right shoe, it still felt way too roomy. Next came size 9 from the shelf. Better but not really snug. Completely puzzled, she pulled size 8 out and slipped them on. FINALLY a snug fit! "Holy cow! These are 2 and a 1/2 sizes smaller than what I started with! This batch MUST run big!" Tying them up, she noticed that some tanning lotion had rubbed off on her old pair. She took the box to a register and paid for them, placed her old shoes in the box and pitched them in a waste can at the front of the store. She then headed back in with far more comfy feet. Approaching the jewelry counter, she headed to the costume jewelry that was affordable but would still look nice. The lady at the counter smiled and asked how she could assist her. Barry smiled and pointed at the rings in the case. The sales lady asked what size she wore. Even though Barry obviously understood her, she had fun role playing the fact that she didn't. The lady at the counter made a circle with her thumb and finger and placed it over her other finger while saying "S I Z E...." "W H A T S I Z E????" Barry smiled and held up 9 fingers. The lady pulled out the size 9 rings and placed them on the counter. Barry grabbed one she liked and placed it on her finger. It seemed way too big. The sales lady said "Oh honey, give me your hand and let's see what size you are." With that, she just grabbed Barry's hand and placed the ring sizer on her finger. "You are a S I Z E 7" she said holding up 7 fingers. Barry looked at her completely puzzled knowing damn well she was a size 9. The woman said "No dear....S E V E N...YOU ARE A S E V E N!" She placed the size 7 rings on the counter and Barry picked one that she liked. She had to admit it fit pretty good. She paid the lady and went on her way. Slowly, she headed towards the other end of the store while looking down at her hands. The silver ring gleamed brightly against her dark fingers under the store's hot white lighting. While she happened to be passing some dressing rooms, she decided to duck into one just to look at how the world was now seeing her. Again she scanned from head to toe witnessing perfect dark golden skin. None had worn off. It was literally flawless. As her soulful brown eyes stared deeply at the girl in the mirror, she became even more amazed at how her identity was now gone. The foreigner stared contently back for a few minutes, then she removed the eyeliner and lip gloss from her purse and applied a fresh coat of both. As she continued on through the store, she noticed a Mexican man with two small girls standing in the cereal aisle. Curiosity stopped her in her tracks. Taking short inconspicuous steps, she attempted to get closer to them. While the man was facing the shelves, she ended up directly next to him where she placed her arm next to his in an attempt to compare the color between them. Her color was just a tad darker than his, but otherwise very close. He turned to his two girls and started to walk away. Barry found herself following him while keeping a safe distance behind. The two little girls hung onto their daddy as they strolled down the next isle. Barry stayed no less than a foot or two behind them. When they stopped to look at something, she did the same. Other people in the isle weaved in and around the small family. She continued to follow them for the next 20 minutes and was a little shocked they hadn't caught on. At one point, a guy came up the aisle and pushed himself between the two little girls and kept on going. Barry made direct eye contact with the man and sent out a glare. The guy looked at her and said "Chill out! I didn't hurt your damn kids!" and he kept going. Barry thought to herself, "Oh my God! That guy thought I was their mom!" Her heart began to race the more she thought about it. She played the moment over and over in her mind. No one around her had a clue that she wasn't really a Hispanic woman. When her mind returned to reality, she found the Mexican man looking directly at her. As the two little girls held onto his leg, he smiled and said "hola!" Barry panicked! She smirked and returned an "hola" as she stood there like a deer in the headlights. As he came within a foot of her, she looked up at him. She had not realized how tall he was. When she compared her arm to his earlier, she thought they were both around the same height but apparently she was mistaken. He spoke in Spanish to her saying "I couldn't help but notice how pretty you look Miss." Barry tried very hard to translate from the Spanish that she knew. She figured out that he had complimented her so she returned a "gracias". This was bad...he was striking up a conversation. Barry just stood there nervously grinning. He said his name was Alonzo and his two girls were Raquel and Reyna. The little girls grabbed tightly to their father's leg. He said they were ages 5 and 7. He asked Barry what her name was. She gulped heavily as for some reason, she had not prepared to answer that question. She thought of the first name that popped into her head from a movie she had previously watched. "Mi nombre is Sarita" she said softly hoping that she had phrased it correctly. Alonzo smiled and told her that Sarita was a lovely name. It was his wife's name who had passed when they lived in Mexico. Barry couldn't imagine the odds that out of all the Spanish names she could have come up with, she chose the man's deceased wife!! SO...Barry was now Sarita. She just received a name to go with her identity. She felt herself becoming deeper involved in her new alter-ego. In her mind, this was more excitement than she had ever felt before. Sarita and Alonzo continued their conversation. She was now improving on picking up Spanish grammar. He asked if she would like to join them for the remainder of their shopping trip. She agreed and kneeled down to look at the two little girls. Holding out her hand, they both reached out and grabbed a hold. "Pleasure to meet you ladies" she said in Spanish as the two girls giggled. Sarita was amazed at how much Spanish she was actually starting to speak and understand. She figured she just needed some long overdue practice. As they continued through the aisles of the store, her Spanish strengthened with each sentence. The little girls approached her on both sides and each reached up and grabbed a hand. She looked down and saw the two little beaming faces shining up at her. Pure elation overcame her as she held tightly onto them. To everyone in the store, Sarita appeared to be part of the family. Regardless of the truth, she looked like a mother out shopping with her husband and two kids. To the world, they were a family. Alonzo explained he had brought himself and his children to the US in search of the American dream. He had a steady job and was able to look after his children. Sarita contemplated what could happen if she continued this charade. Could she possibly live her life as this person she had now become? She could get to know Alonzo and his two girls better and one day...just maybe...be an actual part of their family. Suddenly her logical mind kicked in. "What am I doing!? I'm not a woman and I'm certainly not Mexican! Eventually Alonzo would notice a penis and white skin!!" Her mind went into a state of despair as she was never happier or more excited than she was at this exact second. "But what happens if this gets old?" she thought. "As wonderful as this seems, I don't truly want to be a foreigner in my own country! It's fun to pretend but I just can't stay this way!" The two girls started tugging her to move. Her conscious snapped back into the moment and she looked down towards the girls. Once again she saw her gorgeous dark hands holding much smaller hands of the same color. She didn't want this moment to end and so she continued on. Alonzo finished tossing the last item into his cart and they all headed for the checkout line. ____________________________________________________ Once outside the store, Alonzo invited Sarita over to his car. It was a small 4 cylinder Chevy that looked like it had been through a war. The paint was rusting and the upholstery was torn. He asked her to come along back to his apartment and meet everyone. Still being powered by her emotional high, she climbed in and off they went. They drove to the outskirts of the city where the level of poverty was pretty high. Sarita had driven through this part of town on several occasions but never had a reason to stop. They pulled in front of an old rundown apartment building. She looked up at it and felt a surge of fear pass through her mind. Alonzo got the girls out and they headed into the building. Sarita followed behind at a much slower pace taking in all her surroundings. Once inside, Alonzo introduced Sarita to his 5 roommates. They were all very friendly but the apartment was simply horrible. Old used furniture covered the floor and the girls had a spattering of old yard sale toys in the corner. There wasn't much room but somehow they made it work. Sarita carried on a conversation in Spanish with all of them. She had to admit she was getting very good at it as it was starting to feel natural. Alonzo gave her a beer and they all told some jokes and laughed for the next hour or so. One of the guys handed Sarita another beer but when she opened it, it sprayed all over her. She instantly panicked as the caustic liquid could very well expose some her true skin color if it washed away the tanning lotion. She quickly ran into the bathroom and closed the door. Alonzo hollered through the door to ask if everything was ok. Sarita took off her dripping wet clothes and checked her body to see how it sustained the beer blow. She pulled a crinkled towel off the wall and dabbed her body carefully. It did not appear that any of the lotion was running or streaking but her clothes were certainly wet. They spoke through the door to each other and she asked him if she could borrow a dry tee-shirt or something. He told her to wait one moment and he would return. Alonzo went to his room and grabbed a box that contained his wife's favorite things. He held on to it for sentimental reasons but not having any other options for a lady in the apartment, he felt safe in giving it to Sarita. He knocked on the door and told her he had items she could use. He explained that the items within belonged to his wife but he wanted her to use them now. Sarita was touched. Here was a man who had very little to his name and knew very little about her. Yet he offered her one of his prize possessions. She sat the box down and gasped when she opened it. Inside was a beautiful handmade authentic Mexican sundress. It was white with a red, black and gold Aztec pattern sewn throughout. There was also a pair of white Mexican sandals and several pieces of jewelry. Sarita had hoped that everything would fit. She held the sandals up to her size 8 Keds and they were rather equal. She pulled the dress over her head and gently pulled it down over her body. It hung to just below the knees. The material felt unlike any of the mass produced clothing she had ever worn. It was even obvious the sandals were handmade. She placed her feet in them and pulled the straps tight. The jewelry was a matching set of red and black earrings, necklace and several bangle bracelets. She removed her silver jewelry and slipped on each piece one at a time. There was no full length mirror in the bathroom so she slowly opened the door and stepped outside. Alonzo was waiting in the other room and when he saw her, a tear began to stream down his face. "You are simply beautiful!" he said as he reached out to give her a hug. She hugged him back, which was a first as she had never hugged another man before. Being this close, she realized what a bulky man he really was. She felt small compared to him as she looked up into his tear filled eyes. He told her he was happy that she was the same size as his wife. She asked him if there was a full mirror available and he sent her into the back room where an old broken mirror was screwed into the wall. Sarita clicked on the single 75W light bulb that hung from the back room ceiling. She took a look at herself in the broken mirror and began to get choked up. Earlier today, she had no idea that it would be possible for her to feel any more removed from her actual identity. But the authentic Mexican attire moved her even further away from Barry and deeper into a world that was rapidly becoming her own. Her emotions were becoming more feminine and she began to feel a strange attraction to Alonzo and his children. Alonzo walked in with a red rose he picked from the bush out front and slid it into her hair. She reached up and hugged him and planted a little peck on his cheek. __________________________________________________________ Alonzo's children had fallen asleep and he asked Sarita if she'd like to go out to a local spot for a drink. She was thrilled at the prospect of spending time and getting to know him better. She wandered over to the couch where the 2 girls were sleeping and pulled back their hair and gently kissed them on the forehead. The youngest woke up and wrapped her arms around Sarita's neck and squeezed her tight before falling right back to sleep. Sarita had never been around kids before and honestly never cared for them. Suddenly she felt a connection to them. Alonzo put his arm around her and they started towards the door. He glanced down and said "you know, I had not noticed until now, but in that dress, you really resemble their mother!" Being a gentleman, he opened the car door for her and off they went. About two miles down the road, red and blue flashing lights came up behind their vehicle and bounced off the interior like strobe lights in the night sky. Alonzo had a look of panic on his face as he crept the car to a stop on the shoulder. An officer tapped on the window and Alonzo slowly rolled it down. "License and registration sir" the officer demanded. Alonzo looked over at Sarita and then back at the cop and shook his head. The cop shined his flashlight in and said "You DO have a license...correct sir!?" Alonzo turned white and shook his head no. Sarita felt her heart start beating inside her chest. "Oh my God! I am going to get outted!" she thought. The officer asked Alonzo to step outside the car. He asked him if he had proof of US citizenship and Alonzo sadly shook his head no. "Sir, you are going to need to come with me." The officer placed Alonzo in the back of the squad car. Sarita sat there paralyzed in her seat. The officer came up to her side of the vehicle and shined the light in. "Please step out of the car ma'am." Sarita got out. The officer asked her if she had any proof of US citizenship. She was starting to shake violently as she looked up at the cop and said in Spanish "Sir, I am a US citizen but I do not have my ID". The cop replied "Look ma'am, I don't speak Spanish. Do you or do you not have a valid ID!?" Sarita realized that perhaps she should be speaking English to this guy so she said "I AM OF COUNTRY!" The cop said "Ma'am, I'm afraid you are going to have to come with me." Sarita started to cry as he walked her back to the squad car. "NO!!! I AM COUNTRY!!!" He placed her next to Alonzo and shut the door. "What was happening!? Why can't I get the right words out in English! This is serious!! I can't get an English thought together!!" Alonzo and Sarita bantered back and forth in Spanish. He admitted that he came to the US illegally. He paid a man to sneak he and his daughters across the border. Sarita told him that she really was a US citizen but left her ID at home. Within minutes, the two arrived at the police station where they were each taken to separate rooms. Sarita was then led to a room where a photograph was to be taken. She stood up against the measuring chart on the wall facing forward when the camera flashed. Then they turned her to the right and the camera flashed again. Her eyes wandered over to the chart where she saw 5 feet 1 inches. The camera man said out loud "eyes brown, height 5 feet 2 inches." Sarita felt her heart all but stop! "That is impossible!!!!" she thought to herself. She knew her height was almost 6 feet tall. There was NO way 5'2 was correct! She was returned to her room to sit and wait. Sarita sat by herself waiting and wondering what was going to happen. A Spanish speaking officer entered the room and sat down. He offered her a drink or something to eat. She declined both. Sarita looked at the man and felt that the jig was up. She knew she was in serious trouble and all she wanted to do now was go home. She explained how her real name was Barry and that she really was a guy. She had just met Alonzo and was living a fantasy being someone different. The officer gave her the strangest look imaginable. He said in Spanish, "I hear a lot of interesting stories in this job but yours is by far my favorite!" Sarita fired back in Spanish "No wait! Let me go to the bathroom and wash off this color! You will see that I am an average white nerdy guy!" The officer laughed and took her by the arm to the ladies room. "I will be right here when you come out a man!" he snickered as he left her enter. She ran up to the sink and turned on the hot water full blast. She wetted her hands and filled them up with soap and scrubbed like there was no tomorrow. Nothing brown ran off of her body. As she rinsed her hands, they remained a deep dark golden brown. "Holy shit!! I can't get it off!" she yelled in Spanish. She looked up at the mirror and pulled the long black wig off of her head. Her original hair appeared all balled up under the wig so she shook it with her fingers and it cascaded down her face, past her shoulders and ended up around the middle of her back. Her eyes were HUGE! She pulled on the hair in disbelief and found it quite firmly attached to her scalp. Shaking uncontrollably, she pulled the dress over her head and ripped off her corset and hip pads and bra. The breast forms fell to the floor and a pair of brown skinned C cup breasts hung attached to her chest. Her penis was gone! There was absolutely NO indication that she ever was a man. She collapsed to the floor on her knees and sobbed. After several minutes, she composed herself and stood back up. She put on her bra and slipped the dress back over her head. She pulled the stretchy hair band off the wig and pulled her own hair back into a tight ponytail. The breast forms, hip pads, corset and wig were dropped into the trash can. She admitted defeat and stepped back outside the bathroom not speaking a word. The officer laughed and said "well you're still a dark colored woman!" He placed her in a room with Alonzo and now the two girls were there as well. Alonzo apologized over and over for what had happened. He was crying and the girls were crying. Sarita went over and placed her arms around all of them. They all cried. A Spanish speaking case worker entered and sat down with some forms. "Mr. and Mrs. Alonzo Cortez?" he asked. Sarita nodded yes. Alonzo looked over at her in confusion. "No! My wife is deceased!" he told the case worker. The case worker said that none of the documents in his possession showed that his wife was deceased. Alonzo began to get enraged and Sarita grabbed his arm and gently placed her hand over his mouth. She looked compassionately into his eyes and started to calm him down and regain his composure. The sad return look he gave her said "do you really want this?!" Sarita looked at the case worker and said "yes, I am Mrs. Cortez." Alonzo hated to see her take the punishment for something she had nothing to do with. The case worker said "then I will leave it as such." He then continued "I am terribly sorry, but all of you are being deported back to Mexico per US law. A deportation officer will be here in 10 minutes and will place you in a van that will drive you to the border." They finished up the paperwork and were handed some documents. ____________________________________________________________ They all sat in silence while awaiting their fate. Sarita opened her folder and flipped through the documents. Paperclipped to the top was her new photo ID card. It contained the photo that she had taken when she first arrived at the police station. She looked intensely at the picture of herself and noticed how much she really looked like a Hispanic woman. Digging further into the papers she came across documents of Alonzo's wife which had her history and biography. There were 3 profile photos her as well. Sarita did a double take when she saw them. Her heart raced wildly as she placed her new ID card next to the photos of Alonzo's wife. Sarita noticed the full length mirror on the wall and went over just to make sure this wasn't a dream. She had done it! Not really sure how it was even possible, she had done it! She really didn't know much about the woman looking back at her. What she did know is that she was now an illegal immigrant in a country that just 10 hours ago, was legally hers. She was curious what it would be like to be an outsider in her home town. She yearned to feel what it would be like to walk in someone else's shoes. And here she stood...physically standing in someone else's shoes that fit her feet perfectly. In a beautiful handmade authentic white Mexican sundress that had a red, black and gold Aztec pattern sewn throughout. Her rich dark brown skin was flawless and radiant. The ponytail of thick solid black hair hung down her back. Drawing attention to her hands, she noticed how significantly shorter her fingers had become. Her feet were no different for they too were now size 8. Overall her entire frame had lost almost a full foot in height. Her arms and legs had thickened in diameter and her hips had widened. She then closely examined her face and noticed how overall it became much rounder and fuller. Her eyes appeared to have somewhat sunken in while their shape appeared longer and more narrow. The bridge of her nose was twice the width it once was and her nose itself was shorter and wider. Unable to barely utter any words in English nor being able to understand it when it was spoken, she was now truly a Mexican. There was no longer any question about it. In her hands, she held documents and a photo ID that finally gave her closure. Mrs. Sarita Reyna Cortez resident and citizen of Mexico Age: 42 DOB: April 23,2969 Eyes: Brown Height: 5'2 A single tear ran down her cheek as she realized there was no way out. Staring deep into her own eyes, she was no longer excited about the color of her skin. She began to feel regret and depression for what she had done. So many times she had wanted to cross the line between being herself and someone else. Yet the ability to always go back is what made it a fun adventure. She would never again be the CEO of a powerful company. As of now, she couldn't even have the opportunity to apply to be a waitress at the local diner. She was a middle aged Mexican woman being returned to Mexico with her family. With no current home and very little money, the emotion of excitement was replaced by one of fear. Her collection of clothing and costumes was gone. Her apartment and car were gone. Her good paying job was gone. Her United States citizenship was gone. Her male identity was gone. She was a member of a family she knew little about. She was now a wife and a mother. As they all boarded the van, she sat quietly in the back with her arms around each of the girls hugging them tightly. Slowly the street signs on her old life faded from sight into the dark sky. Her new life was a mere 4 hours away. Sarita got what she wanted....but she lost what she had! THE END