Show What You Can t Say Mallory Part 4
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Show What You Can't Say -- Mallory. Part 3 free porn video
Mom had been gradually feminizing me in the privacy of our home. First
toe nail polish then girls' sleepwear, and next panties and padded bras.
After my futile attempt to go back to boy 24/7 I began to accept my
feminine side as being the real me. My name had ceased to be a source of
embarrassment and now was a symbol of my secret self. Every week Mom
seemed to find a way to lead me one more step along a path that I had
never imagined I would sashay down. She had taught me to walk like a
girl and I loved going around the house with a skirt swinging sideways
with each step.
Inside I felt more and more like a girl, but no one but Mom and I knew
about all this. I really wanted to share my experience, but how could I
show or tell anyone, and more importantly, who could I trust with my
secret?
Finally I decided to take a chance. Ann-Marie White was one of my
favorite classmates and I suspected she could keep a secret. We were in
several classes together including a dance-exercise class at the end of
the day. I had written down "dance" as my option when choosing phys ed
electives for the current quarter. This raised a few eyebrows with both
teachers and classmates. At first one queen bee in the class remarked I
was taking a girls-only class. The teacher overheard the remark, and the
principal had responded by posting a letter in the studio citing the
district's non-discrimination policy. That resolved the issues with the
teachers and the girls, but didn't help me in the boys' locker room.
Since the class was the end of the day I found it far easier to pull on
a set of sweats in the dance studio and head for home. Of course, since
I kept my toenails painted I had to wear opaque socks to school in the
morning and keep them on during dance class.
One day I timed my exit from the school so that Ann-Marie and I started
down the stairs together. Like most girls in my grade she was showing
considerable 'development' and today she had been wearing a tight
leotard that showed the outlines of what was underneath. It made me
jealous, but not in any way lustful. How many boys could say that?
I always have had a hard time opening a conversation so we just walked
side by side for a while. I supposed she knew something was up but
figured that the guy should make the first move. She was wearing running
shoes for the walk home, but I usually saw her feet as she changed shoes
at the end of dance class. This week she had been wearing a medium red
nail polish, and last night I put on the closest match I had in the
limited selection of colors Mom had gotten for me. I wanted to say I
noticed her nails, but was afraid of her reaction.
"Do you want to say something?"
Great I thought, now she has taken control of the conversation. I
figured I needed to respond, but must have stayed silent too long.
Ann-Marie looked right at me. "You know I noticed something in dance
class ... sometimes you almost move like a girl. Don't take that wrong. I
mean that you are graceful and find the emotion in the dance theme."
"Thank you," I whispered. I didn't say anything more and we just walked
silently until we reached the corner where we turned in different
directions to continue home.
The next day I was surprised to see Ann-Marie heading out the school
door just behind me. I had not tried leave the building with her so it
was either a coincidence or she had again taken the initiative.
"So, do you want to talk now?"
I kept walking silently for a long time. Here was my chance and I was
about to blow it again. Finally I forced the words out of my mouth. "Can
you keep a secret?"
"What's this all about?"
"Please?"
"OK, promise, secret forever. So what's up?"
I signaled that she should follow me and she did. I sat down on the edge
of a low concrete wall and started to untie my shoes. Without saying
anything I pulled of my stocking and flashed my bright red toenails.
"Cute. So what is going on? You must have been looking at my toes the
other day because it almost matches my color. Is this some idea of a
joke?"
I shook my head as I put my shoe back on.
"Does your Mom know about this?"
I nodded.
"Mallory, you have always been a bit of a sissy, always hanging out with
the girls. I'm OK with that, and I will still be your friend even if you
paint your toenails. You know, when you started walking home with me I
thought you were working up to asking me for a date. I guess you are a
different kind of boy."
Once again I had chosen to show something that I could not say. I kept
silent but really wanted to speak. Maybe this time I would dare to say
something more. After all, my goal had been to have someone my age I
could share feeling with.
"What other girly things do you do?"
I looked into her eyes but couldn't figure out what to say.
"Please, Mallory, it's OK for you to talk about it."
With real effort I finally continued. "You'll keep this a secret?" I
looked at her and saw a supportive smile. " I wear girls' clothes while
I help Mom fix dinner and afterward when I do my homework, and ... "
"Really?" The look in her eyes suggested she was becoming fascinated. "I
want to see this for myself."
"I am not sure I am ready for that yet. Anyway, it would have to be at
my place. Mom only lets me wear girls' clothes at home." I was finally
speaking up.
"I suppose your mom lets you wear a night gown too?"
"I have a couple real pretty ones."
Just at the conversation got going we reached the corner where out
routes separated. As I watched her stroll away I was amazed that I
finally succeeded at sharing my secret.
After the episode with Ann-Marie I continued the routine Mom had set up:
boys' clothes at school and when going someplace public, girls' clothes
on evenings and weekends. Mom was endlessly supportive about all this.
She had also started to buy me some pants and shirts that were somewhere
between unisex and slightly feminine. She encouraged me to wear these
outfits in public.
*********
I kept thinking about sharing my 'real self' with Ann-Marie again, but
was startled when Mom again seemed to know what I was thinking.
"Mallory, you really need some friends you age who can help your
socialization."
I looked at her with a blank stare.
"Your only knowledge of how to be a girl comes from reading magazines
and imitating me. Other girls your age have friends who they share
experiences with. Wouldn't that be nice?"
"What do you mean 'other girls my age'," I asked.
"Dear, you are becoming more of a girl every week. Isn't that
marvelous?"
Just then the doorbell rang.
"Can you get it, Mallory?"
I hesitated and decided there was no choice. I was wearing a shirt that
buttoned right over left, but otherwise was basically plain. I hoped
that the loose cut, opaque fabric, and dark print were enough to hide my
lightly padded bra. My jeans were likewise neutral, except for being a
bit tight and having some embroidery on the back pockets. If I was lucky
whoever was there would either be a stranger, or at least not notice
anything too unusual.
"Hello, Mallory." It was Ann-Marie's mother. This was a disaster.
"Good evening, Mrs. White," I responded feebly.
"My, you look charming, Mallory," she said. Mom walked into the entryway
as I stepped aside to let Mrs. White in. "Well, Marjorie, you child is
certainly getting into a new role. Mallory, turn sidewise. I want to see
your profile."
I wanted to die on the spot. Ann-Marie had obviously betrayed me. Not
only had her mother noticed what I was wearing, she seemed to be
expecting it. I turned in a slouch, trying my best to hide.
"Mallory, you need to be proud of who your are. Now fix your posture,
and give Mrs. White a big-girl smile."
I hesitated. Mom was clearly amused. "Your friend didn't give away your
secret, I did. I know you and Ann-Marie have been walking home together
every day, and it didn't take me long to guess that you were looking for
a best female friend you own age. I called Mary White and asked her if
she would be bothered by you showing your girl side to Ann-Marie. She
thought this was a delightful idea, so I invited her over for a
preview."
What could I do? I straightened my back and pulled my shoulder blades
together making my padded bra show some shape. Remembering how Mom had
taught me, I next turned toward Mrs. White, put one hand on my slightly
raised hip, and gave a cheesy smile.
"Marvelous. SHE is so obedient. It's going to be neat having HER as my
daughter's friend."
I wasn't sure I liked where this was heading at the moment.
"I wasn't sure what to expect, but Mallory really has potential as a
girl. She has nice facial features, but a little makeup would really
help. I think that it is wonderful when little boys get petticoated."
"Mallory is into girls' sportswear, not petticoats," Mom joked.
"Marjorie, you really must let me take Mallory and Ann-Marie shopping
sometime. Maybe we could even stop in a salon for makeovers."
"I don't think he is ready for a salon treatment or even going out in
public dressed as a girl. Remember, Mallory is still going to school in
boy mode. But, I'm sure a shopping trip would be an adventure. What do
you say, dear?"
I stood there too shocked to say anything for a moment. I had to admit
that the compliments from Mrs. White were a confidence booster. Once
again I kept silent and just nodded.
Ann-Marie was bubbling with anticipation as we left school the next day.
"Mom told me how cute you looked last night. I wish I could have been
there, but she insisted I stay home. How do you feel about girl-type
shopping with us this weekend? "
"Scared," I whispered.
Instead of turning at the corner she continued with me toward my house.
"My mother said I could spend some time with you this afternoon. I want
to see the real Mallory."
Mom was excited when she saw us, and she ignored the anxiety that I am
sure I was showing. Really wanted Ann-Marie to see my other self, but
also afraid that this would be going too far. Before I could chicken out
Mom took the lead.
"Ann-Marie, you can wait in the living room while Mallory changes out
of school clothes."
"Hurry back, Mallory."
I went to my room. My nervousness combined with Ann-Marie's urging to
hurry meant that there was no time to agonize over what combination to
wear. I just changed underwear, slipped on a bra, and grabbed some jeans
and a top. Looking back, it was not a well-matched outfit. Just
something a girl might wear around the house, but I did add a touch of
makeup. Facing the inevitable I used my best girl-walk to enter the
living room and was welcomed by two smiling faces.
Ann-Marie clearly approved and we spent the next hour chatting like a
couple of normal girls. I heard Mom on the phone and guessed she was
talking to Mrs. White.
"Hi, just called to let you know they are over here having a good time."
"Yes, Ann-Marie clearly likes what she sees."
"Everything is going just like I expected."
"A shopping trip? How about on Saturday the 15th?"
"Yes, I will be sure Ann-Marie gets home for dinner time."
Ann-Marie looked at me. "See, my mother and I both like your girl side.
I want to see you like this again."
Ann-Marie continued the routine of stopping at my house after school,
and I was getting used to acting completely like a girl around her. I
even started to plan my after school outfits the evening before and have
things laid out in my room so I wouldn't have to waste time when
changing. The experience of being accepted by someone my age was
reassuring, and I started to fantasize about what it would be like to go
out in public as a girl.
As the 15th approached I kept thinking about the upcoming trip to the
mall. I wasn't sure exactly what would happen, but I hoped everything
would go OK. My worst fear was being seen by boys from my school. At
least my indecision about what to wear was resolved for me by a phone
call to Mom.
"Dear, Mrs. White phoned to tell me that she wants you dressed in your
best school clothes. Total boy mode when you leave for the mall
tomorrow."
"I thought we were going to be shopping in girls' stores."
"This will be your first time out in public. Boys get dragged along on
shopping trips all the time, so your being with them will not seem at
all unusual. She knows best, so do as you are asked." Mom looked at me
with a sly grin, "But, it will be OK if you want to wear pretty panties
underneath."
Mrs. White arrived as scheduled early on Saturday morning, and checked
me out with a careful inspection. Mom came up beside me.
"Please don't embarrass Mallory too much today."
"Marjorie, if Mallory is going to continue with all this SHE is going to
have to develop self confidence. I told you this will be a low-key
chance to see what girls do when shopping in the mall. Everything will
go just fine."
"You're sure?"
"Marjorie, I've already talked to a couple of store managers that I
know. The assured me they are totally OK with crossdressing boys."
I wasn't sure I liked what I had just heard, but I had agreed to the
shopping trip. I certainly did not want to disappoint everyone by
backing out at the last minute. I got into the car with Mrs. White and
Ann-Marie and we drove off.
As promised, they did not embarrass me. Anyone who saw us as we wandered
through the stores would have thought that a girl was dragging her
boyfriend along shopping - nothing more. It was great fun looking at
everything and having Ann-Marie whispering fashion tips it my ear. Ann-
Marie and I were looking at casual slacks when Mrs. White came up behind
me. "Those look cute. You should try them on."
I suddenly realized she was talking to me, not her daughter. "How can I?
This is a women's store!"
"Don't worry. The clerks are on commission and want to make a sale.
Follow me." She headed toward the changing room with Ann-Marie giving me
a shove from behind. Mrs. White handed the slacks back to me right in
from of the sales girl who smiled as we approached the booths. "Go
ahead."
I closed the door, took off my boy pants, and tried on the girls'
slacks. Not a bad fit I thought as I looked over my shoulder at the
mirror. Now what - model them for Ann-Marie? I decided to change back
and just say that they fit. Ann-Marie and her mom were looked
disappointed when I reappeared with the slacks over my arm and started
to put them back on the rack
"If they fit I will buy them for you, my treat."
What could I say? I handed them to her and hoped that would be the end
of it. Instead she led me over to a display of frilly tops. Ann-Marie
picked up one and held it in front of me.
"Looks cute. I have one almost like it."
Just then the store manager walked up. "Finding everything, girls?"
Mrs. White answered. "This is Mallory who I told you about on the phone.
He is new at shopping for pretty clothes, but my daughter is helping
him."
I wanted to sink into the floor. Instead Ann-Marie was ushering me
toward the change room with several tops dangling from their hangers.
Finally, they decided I had experienced enough for one day. They drove
me back home and dropped me off.
Ann-Marie gave me a hug as I got out of the car. "You did well today.
Next time maybe the next time you can be more of a girl when we go
shopping."
"I don't think I am ready to wear a dress in public," I protested.
"Well, you have plenty of cute slacks and tops now," Ann-Marie teased.
"See you soon"
Mom was watching as I walked in with several shopping bags. "Did you
have fun, dear?"
I did not say anything. Mom looked right at me.
"Mallory, my dearest, if you are going to continue all this you need to
open up and talk about it. OK?"
Our standoff continued for a while; Mom was gently hinting and pushing
me onward, and I kept finding my self confused and unable to talk about
it. I clearly was becoming more comfortable acting like her daughter
while at home and treasured out evenings together. I also enjoyed having
Ann-Marie in on the secret and was wondering when we could next go out
in public together.
One evening I was sitting in the living room looking for something to
read when I noticed a magazine opened to and article about a
transgendered teenage boy and the issues regarding his starting
treatments. I knew this was no coincidence. Mom had figured out that
leaving some reading material out where I could find it was a great
lead-in when wanted to get me to talk about something.
I nervously picked up the magazine and started to read. I had heard
some of the terms before, but most of the information was totally new to
me. It was fascinating to see what modern medicine could do, but how did
all this apply to me?
She walked in and I quickly I put the magazine back down. "Did you find
that interesting, dear?"
Once again I was at a loss for words.
"Mallory, you clearly have a feminine side and we both enjoy every
minute you spend as a girl. Right now you have some wonderful options,
but you are soon going to have to make a decision about your future. I
think it would be a tragedy if you waited to decide until after your
voice changed and you grew a beard. Puberty is going to come soon.
Should we talk to a doctor about this and see if you want to slow things
down to give you time to think?"
That brought tears to my eyes and I ran into my room.
"Mallory, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. We can talk again when
you are ready. Go to sleep, sweetie."
I watched her gently close my door. "Love you, Mom," was all I could
answer.
... To be continued.
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