CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I woke up when a bright light was shined in my eyes. I looked around.
Roger had been the one shining the light in my eyes, but Mom and Randy
were both in the room as well. I could see that it was still dark outside.
I felt a little bit weird. I couldn't be sure of it, but it felt like I
was laying on my other side, not the one I thought I'd fallen asleep on. I
was still curled in a ball, but I seemed to be facing the window instead
of away from it, as I thought I'd been when I fell asleep. And I saw a
narrow strip of thick, black cloth lying on the floor not too far away
from me. Was that a blindfold?
Without a word, Randy tipped my head back and opened my mouth, and pushed
a piece of unwashed, muddy carrot down my throat. Then he helped me into a
sitting position.
I looked around at them all. I wondered if they'd done something to me
while I slept. Had they played with my body, or used it in another way?
Had they moved me to another room? I knew that if they'd blindfolded me
while I was asleep with no carrot in my system, I would have remained
asleep no matter what they did to me, where they took me, or how rough
they treated me. They could have done anything!
I decided not to ask them just yet. I wanted to savour the mystery. I
wanted to be able to imagine unlikely scenarios - the first that came to
mind was that I had been stripped completely naked and fucked by them all,
many many times. I laughed. That was highly unlikely. Maybe it could have
happened before I received the antidote, but not now. Another possibility
was that they had stripped me naked and taken pictures of me so that they
could blackmail me later. I liked that idea too. But something told me
that that hadn't actually happened.
I also convinced myself that asking them would be rather pointless, since
if they didn't want to tell me I'd have no way of knowing. And if they
lied to me and told me a different story, I'd have no way of knowing that
it was a lie.
"Did you sleep well?" Mom asked.
"Yes," I said, still a little drowsily.
"Say 'Yes, MOMMY!'" Randy corrected me, pinching my cheek as a punishment.
"You know that you have to be careful about the way you talk!"
Mom scolded him. "Randy! Don't do that. She doesn't have to talk that way
if she doesn't want to."
Then Roger said, "Mom, you'll confuse her. You want her to talk that way
no less than Randy and I do. We've discussed this already."
Mom hesitated, and then said, "The 'yes Mommy' business seems rather silly
to me. It's cute when she does it, but I wouldn't force her to talk that
way. In general I do think she should try to talk like an eight-year-old
girl. I think it would be beneficial, both to her and to us. People won't
think strange things about her or us. It would make all our lives easier.
But nobody's going to force her to talk or behave any way she doesn't want
to. Got that, boys?
"Anyway, we woke you up early because we want to get on the road already,
so we can stop on the way and see interesting things. I'm going to go
finish making us our sandwiches for the road, and I'll give you the scraps
for your breakfast. So just wait here and stay put."
"Should I pack my clothes?" I asked.
Mom said, "There's no need, baby girl. Mommy packed everything for you
already. Oh, in the meantime, boys, you should make sure that she fits
inside that duffle bag."
"Oh yeah," Randy said, and left the room to get it. Mom also left the room
to finish preparing the sandwiches.
I looked at Roger, about to ask what this duffle bag thing was about, when
he said, "Sorry, I forgot to pack a few things. Randy will explain. Stay
in your room, please." Then he left.
While I waited for Randy to return I started thinking about all that had
happened recently. I liked that Mom and my brothers seemed a lot closer to
me. It felt like we were all having a lot more fun. I felt like I was
getting more comfortable in the body I was in, and beginning to enjoy it.
Yet at the same time I wondered whether I'd made the right decisions. If I
ever wanted to be treated like my true self - an adult male, again, would
I be able to? Would they listen?
My thoughts were cut short. Randy entered the room carrying a small,
folded up dark brown, very thick and heavy-duty fake-leather duffle bag.
He unfolded it and put it on the floor; unfolded it looked like a
slightly-oversized bowling ball bag. It was cube shaped. A name tag said
'Contents Property of Rita, Roger and Randy Blank' with our address, phone
number, and Mom's and Randy's emails, and 'if found, please contact us and
return for reward. Please don't open bag under any circumstance'. It had a
detachable shoulder strap and an attached ring with a lock hanging from it
- that would allow the zipper to be locked shut.
"What's that for?" I asked.
"You," he said. "You heard Mom, she wants to know if you'll fit inside
it."
"What for?" I asked again.
He shrugged. "She didn't really tell me. She just asked me to check that
you fit inside. Let's test it out, and then you can ask her what it's
about afterwards."
"Do I have a choice?" I asked.
He smiled, but said, "You're going inside. Sorry, but I don't want to
upset Mom. But don't worry, you won't have to spend a long time inside."
I said, "You know I will fall asleep as soon as I'm in there. I won't be
able to ask to be let out. The carrot doesn't help me if I'm trapped in a
very small place with no light."
"I know. But like I said, you won't be in there long. Mom wants you to
wear daytime clothes for the trip, not the nightgown you're wearing now.
So, are you ready to get in?"
I hesitated a bit, unsure of how much I wanted to cooperate with this,
even though I knew that the chance of getting out of it was slim to none.
I decided to take that chance. I made a run for the door.
I didn't run fast enough, though. Randy saw what I was trying to do,
blocked my path, and grabbed me by the wrist. Then he grabbed my collar
and lifted me by the collar into the air. He held me at arms length and
let go of my wrist. It was a weird feeling being held by the neck like
that. It didn't hurt, but it made me feel silly, controlled, and compelled
to obey.
He carried me back across the room to where the duffle-bag was waiting for
me. He placed me down inside the bag, and slid my feet to one end of the
bag. Still holding my collar, he said 'kneel' and pushed me down onto my
knees. He kept pushing me until my butt was sitting on my ankles. And then
he folded the top of my body down over my legs.
Holding the back of my head pressed into the bag, he repositioned my arms
at my sides the way he liked them, and rearranged the sides of the bag a
bit. "Don't worry," he said, rubbing my back soothingly. "I won't tell Mom
you tried to get away." Then he began to zip up the bag, from my head to
my butt. The bag got dark. I tried to move but couldn't. My consciousness
began to leave me even before the bag was completely zipped. Before
closing it completely, I felt his hand gently rub my butt for a seconds -
bent over the way I was, the nightie had been pulled up and my panties
were exposed once more, and that was what he touched. And then he zipped
the bag the rest of the way. I heard the clicking of locks. And then I was
out.
"Wake up," Mom was saying as she and Roger pulled me out of the duffle
bag. I was in the kitchen. "Eat your food so that we can go. Sorry, but I
already packed your special bowl."
I saw that the vegetable scraps that were to be my breakfast had been left
on the lid of the garbage pail, which had been placed on the floor
overturned, like a dish. I crawled across the floor to the food and ate it
quickly.
"Mommy, why do we need that duffle-bag?" I asked, noticing that it had
been taken away while I was eating.
"It's easier to carry around than that trunk we have for you. We are
bringing the trunk too, since it can be locked more securely, but for the
car ride we've packed it with clothes to save space. If we need to use it
at Tom's house we can, but for the road, I thought a bag that could fold
up when not in use would be best."
"But why would you need anything like that at all?"
"Don't worry, sweetie, you won't be put inside unless you want to be. It's
for you, not for us. We thought you might want to be able to sleep
through, or hide through some of the things we do on the trip. Also, if
you agree to it, we might be able to save money at the motel if you're
inside the bag while we check in. We'd let you out as soon as we were in
the room, of course."
"What hotel? Tom lives only three hours away!"
"Sweetie, try to remember to call him 'Uncle Tom' from now on. 'Uncle Tom'
and 'Auntie Amanda'. And we've decided to take the trip slow. We're going
to stop in Clidewood on the way; there are a lot of interesting new
tourist attractions there that the boys would like to see. We thought we
might spend one night in a motel and drive to Tom's the next day. I have a
voucher from work for one night in a Motel 6. If they let us all stay in
the same room we'll be able to stay there for free."
Mom worked so hard, such long hours. I was glad for her that she got that
voucher from work. "OK, I'll go inside the bag while we enter the hotel if
you think it makes a difference. But can you zip me up in the bag
yourself, instead of Randy or Roger? It's embarrassing when they do it."
"It is?" Mom asked. "Then they're doing something they shouldn't. I think
I WILL let them put you in the bag when it's time, but I'll watch closely
and make sure you're treated well. OK?"
"OK Mommy," I said, not sure how else I could get out of this.
"Now, sweetie, we have to get you changed for the trip. Would you like to
pick out your outfit for today or can I? Most of your good stuff has been
packed already."
"Um, I can pick for myself. Well, what was it that you wanted me to wear?"
"Just a simple, cute, shorts and T-shirt combo. It's not too girly or too
juvenile looking, if that's what you're worried about. Definitely much
less than what you're wearing now."
"OK, well, I guess I can wear what you want me to wear, then, Mommy,"
Mom said, "That's great. Because little girls your age often have their
clothes picked out for them. You're going to like what I have in mind.
Your brothers will too."
Mom cursed when she found out that she had accidentally already packed the
outfit she wanted me to wear, and the suitcase was already in the car.
"I could just wear something else - I'm sure that you didn't pack
EVERYTHING I have," I said, trying to be comforting.
"No," she said. "This is what I planned. Look. Do me a favour. I don't
want to have to open the suitcase twice. Would you mind going into the
bathroom and taking off the clothes you have on now, and passing them to
me through the door? That way, I can put those in the suitcase when I take
out your outfit for today. You can just stay in the bathroom with the door
closed if you don't want anyone to see you naked. You can wrap yourself in
a towel if that will make you feel more comfortable. I'll be back with
today's outfit in a few minutes."
That idea made me nervous, but I agreed. Inside the bathroom, I noticed
that there was no towel hanging on the rack.
"Well, just stay behind the door with the door closed. It'll be OK. If you
want, I'll tell your brothers that you're in the bathroom naked so that
they won't come in by accident."
I opened the door a crack and handed her the night gown.
"Underwear too, please," she said. I handed them to her, wondering why she
was taking those. I supposed that a different pair of underwear went
better with the outfit she was about to bring me.
I waited nervously for Mom to return with my outfit. It seemed like ages
before there was finally a knock on the door. I opened it a crack and
peered outside. It was Randy.
"Here's your clothes," Randy said. "Mom said to put them on quickly so
that we can leave already."
I took them from him and slammed the door quickly. Then I quickly put on
the clothes.
I wasn't sure what I thought of them. They definitely what I thought when
I heard shorts and a T-shirt. And yet they weren't as bad as they could
have been, either. There was a bright shiny flourescent green pair of
spandex shorts, a matching tank-top undershirt, and a T-shirt to go on
top. I knew that I couldn't get away with asking for a different outfit. I
imagined that Mom would be extremely disappointed if I complained or
refused to put the outfit on, and might even punish me somehow. I was
disappointed that Mom hadn't sent me a pair of underwear to wear under the
shorts. But I decided to just put it on.
The shorts covered two thirds of my thighs. The undershirt was a crop-top,
leaving much of my belly uncovered. Fortunately, there was a T-shirt to go
with it, and the T-shirt was fairly decent. It was quite tight, but also a
little bit long. It ended just below my crotch, so my butt and crotch were
covered by it. The collar seemed to be cut off, creating a slightly wider,
slightly uneven neckline. It was a little difficult to arrange the neck so
that it covered both straps of the undershirt. I figured that was probably
the point.
The front of the T-shirt was quite cute, and I knew why Mom wanted me to
wear it. It showed a stick drawing of two tall stick-men, with a really
short stick-girl standing between them, stretching up her arms and holding
their hands. The three of them had huge smiles drawn onto their faces.
Above them, the caption, in little girl's printing letters said 'brothers
always know best!' I laughed and thought it was a good idea to wear that
outfit after all. My brothers would love it, and they'd probably be extra
nice to me while I wore it. I felt quite self-conscious about the spandex
shorts, but would have to live with it.
I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom just as Roger was
approaching. "Good, you're dressed," he said. Then, looking at me, he
said, "Wow, you look really cute! I love the shirt!" then he said, "Mom
and Randy are already in the car. She said I should come get you and put
you in the car and lock up. Are you ready?"
"Yeah, I guess so," I said.
"Great," he said, and held out his arms for me.
"I can walk," I said.
"I know. But will you let me carry you anyway?" he asked. "You look so
adorable and I have a long drive ahead - I'm doing the first part."
"OK, if you really want to," I said, and walked towards him. He lifted me
under the armpits, and then tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me
outside while he held onto my legs, with the top of my body handing down
behind his back. Once at the car, he opened the back car door and, without
placing me on the ground first, manoeuvered me into the car and placed me
in a car seat!
"A car seat?!" I said. "I don't sit in a car seat! I'm not a baby!"
"It's called a 'booster', Mom said, "And it's the law now that children
until age 12 or 135 cm tall must ride in one. Sorry, but we have to follow
the law. We just bought that - it's state of the art."
Roger and Randy both buckled me in. The 'booster's straps and buckles
seemed rather complicated. There was a strap that went between my legs and
attached to the lap belt, and another two straps that went over the
shoulders, attaching to the lap belt as well. Then, a strap attached to
one of the shoulder straps wound around the other shoulder strap and
fastened back to itself. Once those were all fastened, the boys pulled on
the straps somewhere behind the seats, making them all tighter.
"Mom, why the weird seat? I know what kids' booster seats look like - they
just fit the normal seatbelts."
"Some of them do, and some are like this. This one was on sale. It was
made to be good for kids with disabilities as well as normal kids. But the
laws have changed, and kids with disabilities now need even more things,
so this one is only still good for normal kids. So we got it on sale."
"Mom, should we put the neck brace up?" Roger asked.
"No, don't bother," Mom said.
"What about the wrist straps?" he asked again. I then noticed that there
were buckles attached to the arm rests, that could restrain my wrists.
"Ask her if she wants them," Mom said.
Before they asked me, I said, "No!"
"Yeah, leave them open," Mom said. "She might need to use her hands to
hold things, or, I got her a colouring book for the road, she'll need her
hands to colour."
Then I said, "You can put it on my left wrist, if you really want to. As
long as you leave my right hand free. And as long as you won't mind if I
use my free hand to unbuckle my left wrist, if I decide to do so." I held
up my left hand and waved to Randy with it.
Randy, who was sitting in the back seat to the left of my car seat, didn't
wait a second. He grabbed my left arm and positioned it against the arm
rest, and then buckled it down. He tightened that strap somewhere behind
the seat as well. Then he said, "I don't think you'll be able to open it
by yourself, though. I think you need to be able to reach back here to do
it. But I certainly invite you to try."
Meanwhile, Roger said, "And there's no reason not to buckle your ankles
in. The safer, the better." The seat had two leg rests attached to it
hanging down, and foot rests coming out at right angles at the bottom.
Roger adjusted these so that they fit my short legs perfectly, and then
buckled the ankle buckles tightly around my ankles. He adjusted the leg
holders a little more, spreading my legs to about a 90-degree angle. I was
glad that I was wearing shorts and not a skirt.
Pretty soon we were on our way. Mom was sitting in front with Roger who
was driving, and Randy was sitting in the back beside me.
The drive was nice. I hadn't been out much since the transformation,
hadn't been on a highway at all, and hadn't seen so much scenery. I really
enjoyed it.
Five minutes into the journey, Mom opened a container of dried figs. She
and Randy started to pass them back and forth between them. Mom also
occasionally would give Roger a fig or two in his hand.
"Can Jasmine have some?" Randy asked Mom while he was holding them. I
found the smell rather enticing and hoped I'd be allowed at least one or
two.
But Mom said, "No, she wouldn't want any. She told us not to waste people
food on her, right Jasmine?"
I was reluctant to respond, but said, "Um, yeah, I guess," slowly and
hesitantly. They didn't seem to pick up on my hesitance, though.
"We should give her the pits, though," Mom said.
So Randy began feeding me the pits. Every time he'd eat one, he'd put the
pit into my mouth and say "Swallow". And I would. I was happy that some of
the flavour of the dates remained on the pits. He fed me Mom's and Roger's
pits, too. I got excited when two dates fell on the floor and got knocked
under the seats. Randy and Mom had to use their feet to get the dates out
from under the seats, and by the time they did they were covered in sand,
mud and some grass. Mom told Randy that he could give those two to me, and
he did, without making any effort to clean them off. Despite that, I was
grateful for them. I really enjoyed them, and thanked Mom and Randy for
being so kind to me.
Mom laughed. "Do you really feel that we're being kind to you?" she asked.
"Yeah, well, sort of... I mean you didn't have to give me those."
"But we didn't want them to go to waste, so we kind of had to."
I didn't know how to respond.
Mom said, "You know, darling, that we're having a bit of fun with you
treating you this way. We really COULD give you a real date if you wanted
one."
"No we couldn't," Randy interjected. "They're gone."
"I mean, in theory. But you're the one who suggested that we take this
attitude with you. And I think it's cool that you're willing to do this.
And I think it teaches you patience, humility, self-restraint. And builds
character. So, just let me know if it ever gets to be too much. But as
long as you don't complain too much, for now I'm going to continue. You DO
still think it's important to preserve nature and not waste and so on,
right?"
"Yeah, it's OK. I mean, yeah it can be disappointing, but I can understand
why you're doing it, especially since it helps nature. So it's OK, at
least for now. I can survive without nice fit-for-humans fruit. It was
nice of you to give me what you gave me.
"You know that with my metabolism and the way my body is constructed, it
doesnt' disturb me. I can enjoy those things pretty much just as much,
taste-wise. The thing that I really feel is how I'm being treated
differently than 'normal' people. But I'm sure I can get used to that."
Mom said, "Good for you, I'm proud of you sweetie."
After a few more minutes of driving, Mom said, "Can I ask you something,
baby girl? I know you like to eat. But I also know that you're immortal
and can't really be harmed. So, what does food do for you? What would
happen to you if you were deprived of food for a long period of time?"
"As far as I understand, not much would happen to me. I mostly eat things
just because I enjoy it, not because I need it. So, in that way you're
probably definitely right not to give me people food. I definitely don't
need it the way real people do."
"So nothing happens to you if you don't get any food or water? For days?
For years?"
"I'd miss the enjoyment, but nothing would happen to me. The only thing
that I've noticed is that when I eat and drink, the special juices that my
skin produces seems to regenerate faster. So, you know, like, if you were
to lick off all my juice, and then you were to want more - it would come
back quicker if you gave me something to eat or drink. But even without
that, I can get some nutrients straight from the air, so the juice
regenerates even without me having any food. It just takes slightly a
little bit longer."
"I see," Mom said. "Cool. Good to know. So, from what you're saying it
seems that it really is a good idea to only feed you things that would
otherwise go to the garbage, or things that grow wild. There's no reason
to spend money on food for you."
"I think that's correct."
"Here's another date pit," Mom said, passing back a somewhat sandy date
pit. It obviously had been on the floor, too.
"Thanks, Mom," I said.
Then Roger said, "MomMY! Remember? You're supposed to call her Mommy like
little girls do! Not 'Mom'!"
"Don't be silly, Roger! She can call me whatever she wants. We've already
established that."
"She needs to sound her age, though. Especially in front of people who
don't know her secret. You don't want people to think that you're weird,
do you, Jasmine?" he asked me.
"Well, no," I said, hesitating slightly.
"And you know that Mom loves hearing you call her 'Mommy'. So why wouldn't
you?" he asked again.
"I don't mind calling you 'Mommy', I just forget sometimes, that's all. No
big deal. Roger's right that it's probably a good idea to do that in
public. There are so many other weird things about me as it is."
"So, if you forget, it's a good thing for us to remind you. Especially
when it's just us. That way we help you learn."
"Yeah, I don't mind being reminded, as long as you do it nicely and not in
a mean way. You know, constructive criticism, as they say."
"I prefer to use 'positive reinforcement' rather than criticism," Mom
said.
"OK, Mommy. You know best," I said.
Mom said, "Randy, reward little Jasmine with a nice tummy rub!" I wouldn't
have chosen that as my 'reward', but I giggled and cooed as he rubbed my
tummy.
Then Roger said, "Also, and maybe even more importantly, you need to get
used to using more simple words, not fancy words that only grown-ups use.
Once in a while it's OK, of course - little kids sometimes learn them by
reading. But you're not much of a reader. In general, try to use simple
words when you speak. Instead of saying 'beneficial', for example, you
could have just said 'good'. 'Constructive criticism' is a phrase that you
shouldn't use - instead just say 'teaching me a lesson' or something like
that."
"Good point," I said. "So let me rephrase that... no wait... let me say
that again in a different way. I don't mind being helped, being told when
I accidentally make a mistake. I need to get used to talking like a little
girl. I want all the help I can get."
"That sounds much better, baby girl!" Mom now said with a smile. I
actually felt a little disappointed that she was buying into this so
quickly. It felt safer saying that I wanted this when I thought she didn't
think it was necessary. Now that she was agreeing to it, I might have no
way out. "You'll get the hang of it if you try hard. We also need to
remember not to use big words when we talk to you. So if we use words that
you don't understand, or words that you THINK you shouldn't understand,
ask us 'what does that mean, please'."
"OK Mommy, I'll try," I said.
Then Roger surprised me and said, "There probably should be a consequence,
a punishment. Not such a harsh one, of course. But some incentive not to
use words she shouldn't. Otherwise, what deterrence does she have? I don't
think we should rely on positive reinforcement alone. She might not truly
make the effort for that. Don't you think so, Jasmine? Don't you think it
will help you remember if you know that you'll be slightly punished for a
mistake?" This surprised me, because it was the kind of thing I would have
expected from Randy, not from Roger. He asked again. "Jasmine? Don't you
think it will help you?"
"Maybe..." I said cautiously. "But what would the punishment be? And I'm
sure there will be lots of mistakes, especially at first. I don't think
one or two slips should be considered that bad."
"The punishment should fit the crime, right?" he said. "So the punishment
should be that you lose your ability to speak for some time. With garlic,
I mean. Maybe for six hours, or for the rest of the day - Mom can decide.
And, I think you're right, you should have a few warnings. Maybe you get
the punishment after the fifth mistake in one day?"
"These are all great ideas," Mom said. "And I think it's great, and very
brave of you, Jasmine, to agree that something like this would help you.
But five mistakes is too many. Especially if it's on the same day. Let's
say third mistake in one day, or the fifth mistake in three consecutive
days. And you will get silenced with garlic for a full twenty-four hour
period. What do you think?"
I thought about it. "That... seems a little much to me. Does this include
if I use a word like 'difficult' instead of 'hard'? It's going to be
really 'hard' for me to remember that. And who gets to judge?"
"I don't think it's too harsh, it sounds reasonable to me," Mom said. "But
let's make it even more detailed and address some of your concerns.
"Let's say that if you get to a stage when you're supposed to be punished
- three in one day, or five in three days, you will be given an option of
an extension, of postponing your punishment. If you choose the extension,
you won't be punished yet, until you violate five times in one day or
seven in two days. Really that means you get another two times. BUT if you
do that, then your punishment gets tripled in length. So instead of
twenty-four hours you'll get seventy-two hours plus whatever's left until
your bedtime. Actually, the twenty-four hour punishment should also be
until your bedtime - twenty-four plus whatever's left until your bedtime
that day. So, this way, where you have the possibility of an extension,
you have more control over your destiny. More say in the matter.
"And, regarding who gets to judge - the answer is that any one of us -
your brothers and me, can decide that you made a violation. And we don't
have to give you a list of words ahead of time; use your common sense, and
if in doubt, do without. You may ask us IN PRIVATE questions like 'am I
allowed to say such-and-such' without being punished. But not in front of
others.
"And you can appeal any of our decisions if you think they are unfair. In
that case, the case will have to be decided by a vote of your brothers and
me. But with a cost. If the vote affirms the original ruling, the
punishment will be for a whole week. A whole seven days."
"Such strict rules!" I said, somewhat excited, but nervous nonetheless.
"Maybe we can give it a test-run for a couple of weeks, to see if it's too
hard for me? Do I even have a say in the matter?"
Mom thought. "Well, if you think it is too hard, you can ask us to
reconsider, or to reconsider some of the details. But ultimately we will
decide, not you. This suggestion is making more and more sense to me as we
discuss it. Even though normally I would give you a choice in the matter,
letting you decide willingly if you agree to it or not, I think that in
this case it's different, because it doesn't just effect YOUR life, it
effects all of ours.
"It might be hard for you but try to understand, little one, that if you
speak in a strange way for your age, people will think bad things about
your brothers and me! If you say something like 'the fundamentals of the
preliminary hypothesis are tragically peculiar' people will make fun of US
for the way we are raising you. So I think that maybe you can have SOME
say in the matter, but ultimately it will have to be our decision and not
yours. In fact, why don't we say that anytime we have a vote on something
to do with this issue, we will give you one half of a vote. I will get a
vote and a half since I'm your mother, and your brothers each get one
whole vote. You'll be able to break ties in your favour, but if there's a
clear majority then your vote won't matter."
Roger said, "There could be a tie, then, even with her vote. What do we do
then? Like if Randy and me both vote X, and you and Jasmine both vote Y,
that would be considered 2 to 2. What would we do then?"
"Good point," Mom said. "OK, then Jasmine's vote is only a quarter of a
vote. In the scenario you described, the boys would win. Which is fair
because it really should be 2 to 1. So, Jasmine, your vote is necessary
really if your brothers each vote something different and I can't make up
my mind. You can still vote together with us, but you'll know that it
probably won't matter whatever you vote.
"Let's start with a vote on this whole thing, then. All in favour of
beginning this system, according to the rules we've just set?" Mom and the
boys all raised their hands.
"Fine," I said, and raised my hand too.
"Done," Mom said. "Consider that your first and only warning."
Randy said, "What if she doesn't use a big word, but she does speak in a
way that isn't really appropriate. Like if she doesn't say 'please' and
'thank-you'?"
"Well, that wasn't really what this was supposed to be about. But it is
true that little girls need to be very polite, all the time. What do you
say, Jasmine? Should this system also apply to 'please' and 'thank-you'?"
I thought, unsure. "How about we consider that only half a crime?"
"Good suggestion," Mom said. "I think that's fair. All in favour?"
Everyone put up their hand.
"I guess if I use bad language, like swear words... what do little kids
call that? Oh yeah, if I have a 'potty mouth', maybe that should also
count for half a crime, too. You don't want me swearing, right?"
"I see your point," Mom said. "But... hmmm... swearing is a little worse
than forgetting 'please' and 'thank-you'. Let's say that swearing, if it's
just in front of us three, will be considered three-quarters of a crime,
but if it's in front of other people it will be considered a full crime.
Or, at least, at our discretion."
"OK," I said. They put that to the vote, too, and it got finalized.
I said, "So you can add in if I call you 'Mom' instead of 'Mommy'. I know
you told me that I don't have to do that anymore. But since it makes you
happy and I really don't mind, we can count it too. I think it sounds kind
of cute when I hear my voice say 'Mommy'. So maybe count 'Mom' as, I
dunno, a third of a crime too?"
Mom laughed and said, "OK darling, I can't object to that. It DOES sound
very cute when you say 'yes Mommy'. If you're sure you're OK with it. But
I think that if your thoughts on the 'Mommy'/'Mom' issue ever change, you
can just ask for permission to switch back to 'Mom', OK?"
I nodded and smiled. "Yes, Mommy!" I said. Everyone laughed, and Randy
gave me another belly-rub reward.
"Any other suggestions?" Mom asked.
Nobody could think of any. So I said, "How about to start things off, as a
gift from me to you all, I could start off, today, as if I have one strike
against me already?"
"That's a brave idea, Jasmine, but then, to keep things consistent - just
go ahead and say a big word. Just now. Knowing that it's going to get you
in trouble."
"OK," I said, thinking hard. It was already hard to think of those big
words, but I still had them in my brain. "Allow me to express my gratitude
to you all for allowing me to... enhance my... culpability... this here
day!"
Everyone laughed, but Roger said, "Hold on. That was at least three, if
not four or five big words! Gratitude, enhance, culpability? Maybe
allowing? Express? Gratitude?"
Mom laughed too and said, "You should be more careful, Jasmine. But let's
just call that one strike, since they were all in the same sentence.
Though, next time, we might not be so generous."
My eyes lit up. I didn't want to stop there. So, with a big smile on my
face I said, "That's fucking awesome!"
We all laughed. Mom said, "OK, that makes 1.75. I suggest you stop there,
because you're almost at three."
I giggled some more. "Yes, Mommy," I said.
After five minutes' drive in silence, I said, "Mommy, may I please ask one
more question, about the new rules?"
"Yes you may, baby. What is it?" Mom asked.
"Well, I was thinking. Let's say I get one or two points, and I'm a little
worried about the future. Is there any way that I can wipe my slate clean,
maybe take a little punishment by my own asking, so that I can go back
down to zero?"
"That's a really good question. Hmm, let's see. OK, I think that's fair.
It will work like this: You may ask any of us to wipe your slate clean, as
you put it, for you. And we get to decide whether or not we will grant
your request. If we agree to do it, then your punishment will be
proportional to the amount of points you have against you. For instance,
if you have one point, it will be a third of what you will get. So, eight
hours instead of twenty-four. Or, for two points, sixteen hours. It's a
little complicated since your punishment is supposed to be eight hours
plus whatever's left until bedtime. So, for this, we'll have to take the
'leftover' into consideration too. If your punishment begins at nine in
the morning, and your bedtime is at eight-thirty at night - that means
eleven and a half hours. So we would take 24 plus 11.5 and get... 35.5,
and divide that by three, getting just under 12 hours. And to keep things
simple we will say no partial hours, we'll always round up to the next
hour. So, 12 hours would wipe your slate clean. If we do it this way,
though, if your punishment is less than 24 hours, then the time that
you're asleep doesn't count towards the number of hours the punishment
lasts.
"Of course, like I said, we don't have to agree to wipe your slate clean.
But if you do ask for it, we have the right to do so at any time before
you reach the real punishable amount. So we could even say no, and then
come back to you in the evening and say we're wiping your slate as per
your request, and then we can do it. And then, for the number of hours, we
will calculate the amount for when you first asked for it and also
calculate it at the time we want to start the punishment, and take
whichever is bigger.
"Lastly, one more thing: If this happens, wiping the slate doesn't mean
that you go down to zero. After the wiping, you will be left with a third
of a point against you if we wiped one point, and two thirds of a point
against you if we wiped two points. And if you ask us to wipe one point
even though you've earned two points, then we can do that, and you'll be
left with one and a third. And so on."
"This sounds so complicated," I said.
"Don't worry about it. Just concentrate on not earning the points to begin
with, OK baby?"
"Yes Mommy."
"Aren't you glad we came up with this amazing system to help you learn how
to speak properly?"
"Yes, Mommy, I am really glad. Thank you so much," I said, trying my best
to sound like I meant it. But I didn't.
"We all take really good care of our little baby doll, right sweet one? We
take your welfare and your education very serious."
"Yes you do - thank you! I'll give you all kisses once I can come out of
this chair."
"You're in luck," Roger said. "We've arrived at our first rest stop."
* * *
He parked the car and everyone got out. I spent a few minutes trying to
unfasten the buckles of my car seat, with no success. It was very
frustrating! I could see that they were not locked with any keys, yet I
just couldn't get them open! I wasn't sure if this was the result of the
loss in dexterity that was the result of the antidote, or some kind of
mind game that my mind was doing to me, not allowing myself to release
myself from the restraints that others wanted me to be in.
"Do you give up?" Roger asked me. "These are designed for children not to
be able to get out of them, you know."
"Yes, I give up. May I please be let out of the car?"
Mom said, "The correct way to ask is 'may I please be let out of my car
seat' or 'may I please be let out of my child restraint.'"
"Yes, Mommy. May I please be let out of my child restraint?"
Roger laughed, and kissed me on the forehead. Then he let me out.
Remembering what I had promised them, I asked to be lifted up so that I
could give each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Each of them took a turn using the washroom, while at least one of them
stayed with me at a picnic table, holding my wrist in their hand. Mom and
Randy sat, holding me on their laps and cuddling me. But Roger just held
my wrist and told me some sports-related things that I found boring.
Soon we were ready to be on our way again. Mom came up to me while I was
sitting on Randy's lap and said, "Give me your arm, sweetie." Not knowing
why she was asking for this, I gave her my hand, the one that Randy wasn't
holding onto. She grasped my wrist and pulled my arm out straight, and
then pushed my sleeve up to my shoulder. Then, without explaining or
asking first, she began to lick me, starting with my fingers, and covering
the entire length of my arm until my shoulder. When she finished that she
asked Randy for my other arm, and did the same thing to that one.
"Excellent," she said. "Much better than coffee. I feel very alert!
Thanks, baby girl!" Then she held my face in her hands and kissed me on
both cheeks, the tip of my neck, and quickly on the lips. I expected her
to lick my face as well, but she didn't, she just kissed me.
"You're welcome, glad that I could help you, Mommy," I said, a little
confused.
She laughed and said, "Since you're such a polite little girl, I think
I'll strap you into your restraint by myself." She held out her arms for
me. I leaned towards her, and she picked me up, holding me against her
hip. She carried me away from my brother, to the car, opened my door, and
put me down inside my car seat. "Now let's get you fastened in all safe
and secure," she said as she held me tightly against my seat with her hand
pressed into my stomach. With her free hand, she quickly buckled the waist
belt and the strap that came up between my legs. Once those were fastened,
she took her hand off my stomach, and quickly and efficiently fastened the
shoulder straps. Then she buckled my ankles to the leg rests, and then
slid my legs apart, locking the seat. "110 degrees, that should be
comfortable for you and safe," she said. Apparently the seat had a way of
measuring the angle.
"There you go, sweet baby. Now we can be sure that you won't fall out of
your seat!"
"But Mommy, you know that I wouldn't fall out anyway, because I can stick
to things with my skin. And even if I did fall out, I wouldn't be hurt."
"I know, sweetie. But it's mainly just in case we get stopped by the
police. By law we're required to keep you in a child restraint. Remember?
Also, I think it's a good thing for you to practise your patience, and
your dependence on adults to give you your basic needs. Young children
your age behave that way naturally. And also, it gives me peace of mind,
knowing that you have to stay exactly where I put you and can't get away
even if you wanted to. Of course, I know how good and obdedient you are,
and that you'd never even want to get away. But I just feel more confident
and safer knowing that I have you controlled.
"I hope you don't mind me telling you all this. I'm being completely
honest with you. You know, I love you so much - we all do! And I feel so
lucky that I have you. Quite naturally I feel very possessive of you. I
would never want anyone else to ever get ahold of you without my
permission. So I feel better when you let me do things like this to you.
As long as you don't mind, of course. It makes ME feel really special and
fortunate, like I own the best, most exotic, mose expensive pet in the
world: YOU! And I don't just THINK that, you know; I really believe it!
"You know that if you need to get out for whatever reason, even if you
just want to, we'll let you out. You are not trapped here. And if being
this way really bothers you, just say so and I'll undo your ankles and you
can be here just with the regular buckles."
Her gentleness combined with her complete honesty was a little confusing
to me. I wondered if I wouldn't have been better not quite knowing why she
was doing these things to me. And at the same time, she was being SO nice
to me, stroking my legs, arms and cheek, and smiling. After checking once
more that everything was tight and secure, she stroked my cheek, leaned
over and said, "I love you so much, Jasmine. Do you want me to unbuckle
your legs? Because I will, if you want me to. It's OK if you do."
"Well, I guess it doesn't really matter while we're driving anyway, right?
It's not like I could be anywhere else. So you can leave me like this for
now, if it really does make you that happy."
"It does, and thanks," she said. "But you DO have an alternative. You
COULD be inside a bag in the trunk if you want."
"No thanks," I said with a laugh.
"Good, I'm glad," Mom said. "I'm glad you prefer to be here with us. I'd
miss you if you weren't."
"I'd miss you too," I said.
Mom laughed. "No you wouldn't, silly. If I put you in the drunk you'd be
fast asleep until I took you out. So you wouldn't feel lonely! You
wouldn't feel anything!"
"Do you think you're going to do that to me sometime?" I asked, wondering.
"Sometime? Probably, I suppose it will happen. Eventually. But I don't
know when. I don't have any plans to do so. I guess if you ever got tired
or bored and specifically asked for it. Or if you started talking too much
and we needed some quiet."
"But then you could just give me some garlic and that would shut me up,
couldn't you?"
"Well, you tell me, silly girl. What would you dislike more - to have your
ability to speak taken away, or to be put away in the trunk just like an
overused, unwanted toy, completely removed from all the action?"
"To be put in the trunk, of course!"
"Then that would be a better punishment for you than just silencing you,
right? Am I right? You'd learn to behave better in the future, right?"
"Yes, Mommy, I guess you're right."
Mom was touching my left wrist, tracing her way around it with her finger.
I knew what she was thinking. "You want to lock my wrist too, right
Mommy?"
I didn't think I had given permission for her to do this, yet. I somehow
new that in the end I was at least going to let her have my left wrist
like before, and that there was a good chance that within a few minutes my
right wrist would be locked down as well. And, of course, I admit that the
thought of that did excite me. But I still thought I was in control a bit
and that I would decide. I would have to give the final 'OK'. And I
thought I would strike some kind of deal with her first, allowing her to
have my left wrist in exchange for something, and perhaps my right wrist
as well in exchange for something else. I wasn't yet sure what I would ask
for in return, but I was beginning to formulate some ideas in my mind when
Mom quickly grabbed my right wrist and pinned it down to the arm rest of
the child restraint. "Thanks for offering," Mom said with a smile and a
wink. "You're right, I DO want to do that too! Of course I do!"
I gasped in shock. I hadn't offered, and was very surprised that Mom had
interpreted my question as consent! And I think before I finished gasping,
my right wrist was locked down to the chair!
Mom said, "What's the matter, honey? You seemed surprised about
something?" while tightening the strap a little more, making sure that it
was absolutely secure.
For some reason I didn't bother mentioning that she had misinterpreted
what I'd said. For some reason it felt like it was too late to bring that
up. What I did say, though, was "Last time I only consented to my have my
LEFT wrist locked down, leaving my stronger hand free. You took my RIGHT
hand!"
Mom laughed, rubbed my head and kissed me on the cheek. She was still
laughing so I said, "What's so funny, Mommy? Why are you laughing at me?"
She tried to stop laughing and said, "Sweetheart, with your new
superpowers, haven't you become ambidextrous? You know, able to use both
left and right equally as well? Are you still right handed?"
I thought for a second. "I don't know, Mommy. I guess, now that you
mention it, I probably can use my left hand too. I don't think I've tried,
though. I'm so used to always using my right."
"We'll test you later, when we get to the hotel. But I think, for now,
that it really makes no difference if your left or right wrist is locked
down. OK?"
There was more, though. Even if it wouldn't take away more of my
abilities, in my mind it looked like a bigger sacrifice on my part, a
bigger submission, letting my 'stronger' hand be taken from me. But I
didn't think I'd be able to adequately explain that and didn't try.
Instead, noticing where she was looking, I said, "I'm not saying that you
should do this. But you really want to lock down my other wrist as well,
don't you Mommy?!"
She laughed and said, "Is mind reading another of your new superpowers?"
"No, but I can see you keep looking at it."
She laughed and said, "Well, don't you think I should?"
"Why would I think that you should, Mommy?"
"Because you let your brother have one wrist, and I'm your Mommy, not your
brother. Shouldn't your Mommy get a better present than your brother?
Doesn't that make sense to you?"
"I guess so," I said. And I started to formulate the continuation of my
thought in my mind, to say to her, beginning with 'but...'. But I never
actually said that word 'but'.
Immediately she said, "I agree, thanks, baby, for being so good to me."
And she grabbed my other wrist, and within seconds it was locked down,
too. Suddenly I got a really weird feeling throughout my body. I was
completely restrained yet again. I couldn't move my arms or legs, and
those were all locked down in a very open, vulnerable position.
But she didn't stop there. Without warning me first, she moved the sides
of the headrest of the seat, bending them forward so that they were
pressed against the sides of my head - preventing me from turning my head
to the sides, and blocking a lot of my side-vision. I could still move my
head forward a little, and tip my head down towards my chest, but I
couldn't move it far enough forward to get it out from between the turned
in headrest pieces. I struggled a bit against my seat, emphasizing to
myself how I was even more helpless than a few seconds before when my
second wrist had been locked down!
Mom said, "You get to see what horses are sometimes forced to do," she
said. "You've seen horses wearing blinders, so they can only see forward?"
"Yeah, but why?" I asked.
"So they're not distracted," she said, and stroked my face with her hand.
What I meant to ask was why she was doing that to ME, not why people did
that to horses. But my mind got distracted by another question I wanted to
ask her, a worry I suddenly had. "What are you going to tell Roger and
Randy?" I asked her. "Please don't tell them I suggested that you do this
to me." For some reason at that moment, having my brothers know that I
willingly gave up my freedom seemed a lot more humiliating to me than
having them think this was forced on me.
"Don't worry," Mom said. "I'll tell them that this was my idea. Maybe a
punishment for something."
"Mommy, could you maybe move my legs together a bit?"
"Why, is it uncomfortable like that?"
"Well, no, but I'm worried it looks bad. I mean, you know... too sexy. I
feel funny about my brothers seeing me like this."
Mom rubbed the inside of my thigh with her hand - it felt nice. Then she
said, "Don't be silly, baby, there's nothing sexy about you. you're just a
little girl. Don't forget, you've been given that antidote. It just looks
cute, nothing more. Your brothers SHOULD see you this way." And without
explaining, but I guess as a punishment, she moved my legs open two more
notches.
There wasn't any more time to talk about it, as my brothers began to get
into the car. Mom got into the drivers' seat, Randy into the front
passenger seat, and Roger in back with me.
Mom, Roger and Randy started talking about stuff they'd read in the
newspaper. I had a bit of a hard time following the conversation, as I
didn't really know what they were talking about. But I didn't want them to
think I was dumb, so I did my best to add some comments here and there.
The first couple of times they laughed at me. And then Mom said, "Sweetie,
please be quiet now and let the grownups talk. We love you very much. But
you don't know anything about this, and you're just being disruptive.
We'll talk with you about something you know soon, OK? If it's too hard
for you we can give you a little garlic to help you out."
I pouted and didn't respond.
"Do you understand, sweetie?" Mom asked me.
"Yes Mommy," I said.
"Would you like a little sliver of garlic to help you?"
"No, Mommy, that's OK. I'll be good."
"Good," she said. And they returned to their conversation.
They talked more and more. I desperately tried to figure out what they
were talking about, but couldn't. And finally I just gave up.
* * *
I was daydreaming, since they were talking about 'adult' things. Politics,
but more than that I couldn't tell you. Finally, Mom called my name.
"Jasmine, can you listen and tell us what's going on outside? Why are we
stuck in traffic like this? Can you hear anything?"
"Someone's in trouble," I said. "Someone fell. They're calling a name,
Caleb. A woman is really worried. Can you let me out of my seat? I'd like
to go see. Maybe I could help."
Mom said, "Roger, let her out. I'll go with her. You can come into the
driver's seat in case the traffic starts moving. If it does, look for
somewhere close to part so that I can find the car." It took Roger four
minutes to get me completely unbuckled. I wanted to run ahead, but Mom
made me stay by her side. She held onto the back of my collar.
When we got closer, though, there was a big crowd gathered and we couldn't
get right to the front. "Please, Mommy, let me go. I can get closer by
going down the side of the mountain. I know what happened, I heard people
talking about it. A little boy in a car seat rolled down the mountain and
is stuck down there. It's too hard for anyone to get down there and
they're waiting for rescue services, but the boy's parents are worried
that they're taking too long and that he might be really hurt. If you let
me go save him I promise I'll come right back to you right away."
Mom nodded, but said, "OK but take your shirt off. If you're climbing down
the mountain, I don't want it getting dirty or torn - it's a special shirt
that your brothers got you. I'll let you put it back on before we go back
to the car so your brothers don't see you like that."
There wasn't time to argue. The little boy's life was in danger - I could
hear his heartbeat and breathing. So I gave her the shirt and went down
the side of the mountain wearing just the shorts and sports-bra.
I got to the boy. He was badly injured. I saved his life, cured his
injuries, and then brought him back up the side of the cliff to his
parents. I ran away from them as soon as they had him so that they
wouldn't ask questions. Mom had gotten closer, and I ran up to her. She
quickly grabbed my collar once more.
"Good girl! I'm so proud of you!" she said. "And I'm glad I made you take
off your shirt - look how dirty your shorts and top are. At least they
don't have any holes in them," she said, making me turn around so that she
could see them up close.
I told Mom that I would clean them, but Mom said "Not now." We were behind
schedule, and the cars were moving again. She found a secluded area at the
side of the road and, with my back turned towards her, she made me take
the bra off, and then made me put the shirt on, without a bra underneath.
I told her that I was worried, since the shirt's neck was so open, but she
told me it would only be for a minute until we got back to the car and
that I could be careful until then. Once I was wearing the shirt, she made
me take the shorts off too. VERY, very carefully I walked with her back to
the car, as she held on to me by the back of my collar. I felt so sill
wearing only that flimsy T-shirt, with nothing else, not even underwear!
And the car wasn't where we had left it, so we had to walk a bit to find
it. I was sure that for a second I'd 'mooned' a passing car as a sudden
gust of wind came, while we walked on the side of the highway.
Back at the car, Mom asked Randy to hold my collar while she found me
something else to wear. Roger was still sitting in the car, but he came
out when he saw me. "Are you wearing anything under that?" he asked me,
seeing how I was holding my legs together super-self-consciously.
I wanted to lie, but thought I might get punished for that. So I just
didn't respond. Mom, who had her head in the trunk, emerged for a moment
and said, "Jasmine, dear, it's polite to answer questions when they're
asked. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did a great thing saving
that kid. And none of your private parts are showing. Answer your
brother."
"No, I'm not," I said rather quietly.
"Not even underwear?" Randy asked.
"No," I said, looking down, ashamed.
"Boys, go back into the car," Mom said. "Here, put these shorts on." She
gave me a pair of silver, shiny, lycra shorts. Before I put them on I
could tell they would be much shorter on me than the green ones I was
wearing before.
Mom told the boys to stay in the car, looking forward. She had me stand
behind the car, between her and the car. She turned around and looked
away, but stayed holding onto my collar, reaching behind her body. I
quickly put the shorts on. They were MUCH shorter. Only a centimetre or
two stuck out beneath my shirt. Mom gave me a matching bra. Although it
was made of the same material as the shorts, this bra wasn't sports-bra
style like the bright green one. This one had very thin spaghetti straps
which crossed at the top of my back, between my shoulder blades, before
attaching to the very thin strap that went across my back. The front was
made of two triangles, joined together in the centre, unlike the bras I
usually wore which were one rectangle that went across both breasts. I
probably just imagined it, but I thought that this one made my breasts
look more noticeable than usual. In order to put the bra on, I knelt down
on the road with my chest facing the back of the car. I quickly slipped
the shirt off, held it between my legs, and pulled the bra on and into
place. Then I quickly put the shirt on, stood up, and turned around to
face Mom.
She was watching me and said, "I hope you don't mind me saying this,
sweetie, but I saw your body a moment ago when you weren't wearing
anything except your shorts. Fom the back, of course. And I just want you
to know that it's going to be really amazing when you start feeling
comfortable with wearing bikinis in public. Everyone's going to go nuts
when they see you! Nobody will be able to take their eyes off you. You
really have the most perfect little body!"
I didn't say anything - I had no idea how to respond to that. But I gave
her a very horrific look.
So she said, "Oh, don't worry honey, I don't mean that in a sexual way at
all - you're just a little child, after all. I just meant in a pure,
beauty way. You're like a little angel, a cherub. I just can't wait till I
can show off your body to other people like that, that's all. But don't
worry, I'll wait until you're ready for that. No pressure."
Mom was about to put me back into the car when my brothers came out. Randy
came and held my hand, while Roger asked Mom to step away with him so that
they could talk in private for a few moments. Randy told me not to listen
in, and, instantly, I couldn't hear a word of what they were saying.
When they came back, Mom gave me a big hug and said, "Bad news, little
girl. I've given your brother permission to put you in the trunk for a
while."
"What? Why?" I asked, feeling hurt and betrayed.
Instead of answering my question, though, Mom just said, "Just accept it.
It's not up for discussion. You look really, really adorable in those
shorts, though, so don't worry, I'm sure they'll let you out pretty soon,
when they want to play with you again."
"But Mom, why?" I asked again, fighting back a tear.
Mom hugged me once more, kissed me on the cheek and said, "I expect you to
behave and do exactly as your told. And give a nice hug and kiss to both
your brothers, if they want that." And then she got into the car and
closed the door, leaving me standing outside with my brothers. Randy was
holding my wrist tightly while Roger was taking the small duffle-bag out
of the trunk and getting it ready for me. I considered trying to escape,
but knew it would be physically impossible for me to do that unless they
let go of me. And then I was reminded how even if I did do that, they'd be
able to find me and recapture me because of the chips in my body. There
was no way out of it!
"Why are you doing this to me, Roger?"
"It's for your sake just as much as ours," he said, taking me from my
other brother and holding me in the air above the open duffle-bag. "We're
almost at the city, and we're going to need to check into the hotel. Mom
already told you that you have to be in the bag when we check in and out
of the hotel, so they don't see you. And there are a couple of sports
museums that we want to go see, and you'd find them totally boring. So
we're doing you a favour by letting you escape them."
"No you're not!" I complained. "So I'd be bored. I'd still rather be
awake, and with you!"
Roger just shook his head and said, "Trust me. You're better off this way.
Anyway, the decision's already been made, it's not up for debate. Please
give us each a nice hug and kiss, like Mom said, and then you're going to
sleep."
I REALLY didn't feel like rewarding them with hugs and kisses! But Randy
asked me, "Who gets the first hug - me or Roger?" And since he was being
less controlling than Roger, I said, "You." Randy took me out of Roger's
hands and held me in the air. For some reason, being held so close, I did
feel like hugging him, despite what was going on to me. I hugged Randy
tightly, wrapping my legs around his middle. He hugged me back, holding me
up with a hand on my butt. "Is this OK?" he whispered in my ear,
apparently referring to his hand on my butt. It was already there, so I
just nodded. He kissed me on the cheek and I kissed him back. Then he
said, "I'll miss you, little sister. Don't worry, you won't be in there
very long. At least, I don't think you will." After giving me another kiss
on the cheek and squeezing me a little tighter, he passed me back to
Roger. Roger held me with a hand on my butt too, and, somewhat reluctantly
I wrapped my legs around his middle as well. He hugged and kissed me, and
feeling like there wasn't any point in refusing, I hugged and kissed him
in return. Then, very quickly, he said "Sweet dreams" and put me into the
duffle-bag. From the time my feet first touched the bottom of the bag
until I had been pushed inside, folded up, and zipped up could only have
been maybe five seconds maximum. One of their hands held my back down
firmly as the zipper was closed. I heard the clicks of locks being placed
on the bag, and then I was out.
* * *
As usual, it took me a while to get my bearings back when I was let out of
the bag. I was disappointed to find out that much longer had passed than
anyone had planned - it was nearly 11 o'clock at night! They explained
that while they were at the sports museum they met a family - a single dad
with two daughters, somewhere between Roger's and Randy's ages. They were
from out of town, too, and the two families decided to go out for dinner,
drinks and more, and had just returned to the hotel. Instead of just going
to sleep while leaving me in the duffle-bag, Mom 'very kindly' insisted on
letting me out so that I could spend some time with them.
At first I felt really upset, dismayed and betrayed by what they had done
to me, leaving me in the bag like that. Why couldn't I have gone to dinner
with them, too? Why did they think I got in the way? But then I noticed
something else. Based on their smells, I guessed that all three of them
had gotten laid that evening.
I'm not sure how I felt, knowing that about my brothers. I think part of
me was relieved that they were taking out their sexual tension on someone
else other than me, while another part of me actually felt jealous and
betrayed and hurt, thinking something like 'am I not good enough for them'
and, a tiny, tiny bit, missing the days before I'd received the antidote.
Regarding my mother, though, it was another story.
I think my initial thoughts were worry and protectiveness. I remembered
how she'd felt around Clark. And I remembered how, when my brothers were
clearly feeling sexually attracted to me, they had treated me worse than
an object; like something to conquer, use, violate, defile... I remembered
how humiliated I'd felt, and felt bad for my mother being in that
situation. But then I noticed that she didn't seem to be feeling bad at
all. Her body language, her facial expressions and general mood were
showing me that she was a lot happier than she had been in quite a while,
that she was a lot more calm and relaxed. She was almost shining. I saw
that she was genuinely happy that she'd had sex, and I decided that it had
been a good thing for her. I stopped worrying about her. But I worried a
bit about myself, about what it would be like for me if I ever actually
wanted to have sex and submitted to it willingly. In any case, since I was
glad that Mom had been able to do that, I stopped being upset that I'd
been left in the bag so long.
When the boys went out to fill up the ice container and look for a pop
machine, Mom and I started talking. I was sitting on her lap, and she was
stroking my hair and my legs.
"I hope you're not upset that I kept you asleep in the duffle-bag,
sweetie. You know, I fully intended to let you out as soon as we checked
into the hotel. It was just, well, this whole thing with our dates. I
didn't know how we'd explain to them that you suddenly just appeared in
our lives and had to come with us all to dinner."
"Mom, you had sex tonight, didn't you?"
"How do you know?" she asked.
"I can smell it," I explained.
She was a little surprised and said, "What exactly can you smell?"
"Your body just smells like it recently had sex. Your natural scent is
just slightly different. And I guess I can see that your skin is slightly
more moist, slightly more shiny. And I'm guessing you didn't use a condom,
because I can smell the guys semen inside you."
Mom was a little creeped out by this. "Don't worry," I explained. "I've
gotten used to smelling EVERYTHING on a person. You can tell a lot about a
person by their smell. It doesn't bother me. As long as I know that you're
happy about it. Are you glad that you had sex? Did you enjoy it?"
"I don't think a Mommy is supposed to talk to her little girl about this
sort of thing," she said. "But yes, I am happy. It was very good. Keith
was really kind and fun."
There were a few moments of awkward silence. Neither of us knew what to
say. Then Mom finally said, in a whisper, "I'm guessing that your brothers
both, um, had sex tonight too."
"I know, I could tell that, too. I could smell the girls on them." Just
then the boys walked back into the room. So I said, "Randy, Roger, can I
tell Mom what I think I know about what you did tonight?"
"Know how?" Roger asked.
"Just based on the smells in the air. Will you be too embarrassed?"
"Go ahead," they both said, obviously more curious to see if I'd know,
than worried about Mom hearing.
"They were twins, right? I can smell two girls but their scents are so
similar that I'm guessing that they're identical twins. And it seems to me
that the four of you all had sex together. What do you call that? An
orgy... I c