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Aunt Roe's Last Day: A Story Of Acceptance free porn video
Aunt Roe's Last Day: A story about acceptance
Katie Leone
In loving memory of the one person who loved me my entire life
Author's note: This is not how events unfolded in real life, but this is
how I play them out in my head if I were able to be by my aunt's side
during her final hour. There was no button for revisionist fiction but I
suppose this is what you would consider this story. I didn't go far into
details and certainly didn't touch on the decision to take my aunt off of
life support because it wouldn't serve the story well. But I had this in
my mind for days, and thought I better write it down so maybe I wouldn't
be haunted by it any longer. I know healing will come, but it seems so
far away.
In loving memory of my Aunt Rosalie. Here is a song if you want to click
it.
As a four year old child I could remember walking down the silent
corridors of Wyckoff Heights Hospital. I can't remember the pictures on
the wall, if there were any, but I do remember the shiny green tile floor
under my sneakers as I made my way to one specific elevator. Perhaps it
is some sort of poetic justice that now as a 36 year old I was once again
walking such a path. Back then, as on this day, it was to see my Aunt
Roe. Of course when I was four, my purpose was to see my Aunt at work.
She was a hematology technologist, and a damn good one I might add; they
had offered to make her supervisor several times but she had turned it
down because she liked the safety of having a union behind her. There are
only a few things I remember about when I was four, going to see my aunt
at her job was one, and her torturing me with a particular Beatles song
was another. This day however, was going to be the last time I walked
down a hospital hallway to visit my aunt, for this day I had come to say
goodbye.
I think I knew early on that my Aunt may not live to see this year
through. Back in November of last year she had a stroke. She bounced back
but I think it was the ringing of the final bell. I had wanted to move up
to South Carolina, but I was told not to. Though I don't know for
certain, I think my mother had a lot of influence on that decision.
Nonetheless, I was told to stay put in Florida and I feel I was robbed of
a few memories during what would be my Aunt's last year on Earth.
It didn't matter, I thought as I shook away any anger or self-pity. It is
what it is and here I was about to do the hardest thing I have ever done.
I was about to say goodbye to the one and only person who had always been
there for me in my life. It seemed sort of surreal as I made my way into
ICU and towards the room where my Aunt lay.
I almost expected to be stopped by staff, to be told something like "only
family members." I had a response planned for that, but didn't get the
opportunity to use it. "She raised me," I would've said proudly, but with
tears in my eyes, "I am her child." The last statement would've been more
a dagger at my mother than anything else. I was emotional, but I remained
calm.
I stood outside of the room. I don't remember what the number was, but
that really is important is it. I was glad that at least it was a private
room. I took a deep breath and ran my thumb and forefinger across my eyes
to remove the tears. The papers were already signed to remove my aunt
from life support, another decision by my mother that I will add to the
top of the list of reasons of why I can't stand her, and now it was only
a matter of time. The priest had read her last rites the night prior
which I found quite hypocritical; the church had excommunicated her
before I was born, but I guess in the end they were willing to forgive
her of her sins. I pushed down on the hook like handle and opened the
door.
I was quiet, and I didn't think that my Aunt would've heard me as I
walked in. It wasn't expected that I would be there. But slowly, as if we
great difficulty, she turned her head from gazing out the hospital window
and looked directly at me. Her face was very thin, but free of any pain.
The IV that was hooked up to her arm fed her some pain killer and that
was all. But as soon as she saw me, I knew she still had control of her
faculties and she smiled.
I almost broke down right then and there into a sobbing pile, but I held
my composure as best I could. I could feel the tear running down my the
side of my face, though I wish I were stronger.
"Hi Keith," my Aunt said barely above a whisper. It was evident that her
strength was waning.
I managed a meager smile as I looked toward the heart rate monitor that
was steadily beeping every few moments. "Hi Aunt Roe," I choked out of
the words. "How are you doing?"
It was a stupid question I know, but what else was I going to say.
"Not too good," my aunt admitted freely.
"I know," I said as I took a deep breath once again and steadied myself.
"That's why I'm here."
It looked like my aunt tried to nod, but it was barely noticeable as she
made the bed rise further into a seated position. "I'm glad you came,"
she said. "There's no one I want more by my side at this time than you."
"I thought it fitting," I said as I sat down in a chair that was next to
the bed. "You have always been there for me throughout my life, I should
be here for you..." I couldn't bring myself to finish the statement.
My Aunt placed her hand on top of mine. "It'll be okay. Grandpa and Aunt
Catherine and Paul are all waiting for me."
"Let them wait just a little while longer," I managed to say. "I won't
keep you long."
My aunt patted my hand softly. "It seems that for the longest time life
has conspired to keep us apart," she said in a raspy halted manner. "But
you're here now, that's all I need to know."
"We were separated by distance, but you have always been close to me."
My aunt smiled. "And you have always been close to me as well. There's
not a day that goes by that I don't think of you."
I knew she was telling me the truth. Her statement brought me both joy,
because I knew that no matter where I was or how bad things got, she was
with me, and it brought me utter sorrow, because I knew that in a little
while that comfort would end. "And I will continue to think of you all
the days I have left."
"I know. I did my best to love you as best as I could."
"You did a wonderful job," I said as brought her hand to my face and let
her wipe away a tear.
"I loved you as if I had given birth to you, you know that don't you?"
"I know. But how many times did I ask to call you mom and you told me
no," I said as I remembered countless Christmases and birthdays where I
had bought her a "#1 mom" or "mother" charm, but never was allowed to
address her as such.
"I did that out of a courtesy for my sister," my aunt freely admitted.
"But we both know I am your mother by deed, if not by title."
"I suppose there is no greater title in my book than Aunt Roe. It
supersedes mother any day of the week."
"There's one thing I was never able to figure out," my aunt said calmly.
"Here's your chance," I tried to make it sound like a joke, but most
likely failed.
"It's about that thing you told me, about you being a girl a few years
ago."
"Oh that," I said, hoping that my last moments with my aunt weren't going
to be an argument.
"Why did you wait so long to tell me?"
The question took me off guard. I was expecting a different track, one
that perhaps I have heard before. I was expecting the bits about me being
a wrestler or the question if maybe I were gay. "It's not something that
readily comes up in conversation."
My aunt smiled once again. "Part of me suspected it when you were
little."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"It's not something that readily comes up in conversation," my aunt shot
my own words back at me.
"But how did you know?"
"A mother knows," my aunt said wryly. "Sometimes it was the way you
walked or the way you stood. At times I could've sworn that I was looking
at a short haired little girl. But I thought maybe that you had those
mannerisms because it was just us and that maybe you were picking up on
my habits because you had no one else to model after."
"So I stood like a girl," I did my best to mock offense.
"It was more than that, it was also the way you would cry at movies or
pout or a dozen other things. I just didn't know that on the inside you
were having such a conflict. I'm sorry. If I would've known about how you
felt about yourself on the inside, maybe I wouldn't have tried to correct
you so sternly. I just wanted you to grow up being the best you that you
could be."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. We did the best we could."
"I know you told me the name you picked out. What was it again, Kathy?"
"Katie," I said softly
"That's right, so close to your other Aunt's name. You could've picked
something closer to Rosalie, you know?"
"I picked Katie because it started with a K and so does Keith."
"It doesn't matter, Katie, it's your name, and who am I to judge."
The tears streamed down my face. "You're Aunt Roe, you have every right."
"I never did see you in a dress. I never found you hiding clothes
anywhere."
I could tell my aunt was probing. "I only have dressed up a few times.
When I was little it was in your things. Kind of sad that when I was 13
we were the same size."
"I just wanted you to know, Keith, Katie, the I love you for who you are,
not what gender you are."
"Do you have to go?" I said, knowing what my aunt was implying.
"It's time, my child."
"I'm looking through you," my aunt started singing in halted breath the
same song she sang when I was little. "Where did you go?"
"I'm right here, Aunt Roe," I replied the same way I did when I was four.
"Right in front of you."
"I thought I knew you, what did I know?"
"You know me, Aunt Roe, it's Keith."
"You mean Katie," my aunt smiled as the tears streamed down my face.
"It's Katie."
That seemed to make my aunt happy. "You sure are different, you have
changed."
"No I haven't, I've been in the same clothes all day."
"I thought I knew you, what was your name?"
I wanted to stop the tears from flowing but I couldn't. "Don't go," I
pleaded.
"It's not my choice, but I will always be with you."
"I love you," I said through my tears.
"I love you too," my aunt said and then closed her eyes. The hospital
monitor let out a steady tone.
"I love you," I said loudly as I wept and though I was heartbroken it
comforted me that those were the last words we exchanged.
With tear filled eyes and a hurting heart. The End.
There are a lot more memories of my Aunt that I could share, but it will
take time to heal before I can share them.
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