Lifes Lessons
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A Life's Lesson
Daniel became aware of the darkness first, a void with no light, no
sound, no feeling. Slowly his senses began to return to him. He became
aware of pain, terrible pain all over his body and a cold hard table
beneath him. Sound began to assault his ears; a cacophony of voices
yelling over each other to a point he could understand nothing being
said. Finally his sight began to return and he saw the ceiling and
realized there were doctors and nurses crowded all around him.
He tried to lift his head to see what was going on but he couldn't move
it.
"Patient is awake!" came a voice from somewhere.
"Sir," a face appeared over him, "you have been in an accident. You have
a serious injury to your chest and we are trying to help you. Please try
and remain calm and still."
Daniel felt no panic. He barely understood what was going on, he felt
sleepy. He let his eyes slowly close as the darkness closed back in
around him.
"Pressure is dropping! We are losing him!" The voice sounded urgent but
seemed so far away to him. He didn't worry, they said they were helping.
Besides, the pain was going away, perhaps he would just go back to sleep.
* - * - *
Once again Daniel became aware of light. It brightened slowly surrounding
him. He felt warm. He was aware of many people around him but all he
could see was light.
"Hello," a voice filled his mind. "Welcome back. It is wonderful to have
you among us once again."
"Again?" Daniel thought.
"Yes, again."
"I didn't say that out loud," Daniel protested.
"You'll remember soon as you become aware of yourself," the voice
informed him. "Integration will come with understanding. It's a process
to go through when you return from the physical world and get used to
being here again."
Confusion reigned in Daniel's mind. He was confused because all he saw
was light. There was neither up nor down. He heard voices but saw no
people. How bad was the accident?
He tried to calm himself. He wanted to close his eyes but the light was
still there. He tried to take a deep breath but could not feel the air
move into his lungs. He tried to focus on a single thing and felt quiet
surround him. He reached out with his mind and became aware of many
others around him. He suddenly saw memories of those people, things they
were sharing both good and bad. He glimpsed a thousand different things
in no time at all.
"Very good," came the voice again. "You are back with us again."
"Are you God?" Daniel asked.
"No," the voice chuckled, "we haven't reached that point yet where we can
be with Him. We still have much to learn. That is what we must do now, we
must learn. You went to the world where time exists and makes the
physical world possible so that you could learn a lesson and come back to
teach us. To us here you never left since there is no time here. We felt
your sudden confusion and knew you had gone and come back. Please, share
with us what you have learned."
"I don't know what I learned," Daniel was still confused but starting to
recall what it was to be in this place.
"Share your memories with us," the voice prodded.
Daniel started at his earliest memory; he was sitting in his father's lap
while being read to. He could feel the reaction of those around him all
enjoying the familial setting.
He flashed through his life sharing his first day of school, meeting
friends, graduations, moving from place to place. Life changes, getting a
job, meeting new girlfriends, getting married, having children, and going
on vacations.
"That was all very nice," the voice came again, "but it was not
everything. To learn we must see it all."
Daniel felt ashamed but recalled more memories. He showed them how he
tormented his siblings on occasion, he stole money from his mother's
purse, he shoplifted candy from a store, he cheated on a test, and he
cheated on his wife once. Many other things that he didn't like that he
wished he hadn't done were shared with the souls that surrounded him. He
could feel they felt the same shame he felt but compassion as well. Many
shared memories back showing they had done the same.
"Yes, those were bad things and we have seen us all fall to temptation.
Many of us have learned to deny the worst of the temptations in our
journey to become pure spirits, but that wasn't the lesson you learned.
Please share the rest."
Daniel became embarrassed. He knew they could feel it coming from him but
he also knew the voice was correct. He would have to share.
They saw a vision of a young Daniel at school watching the little girls
play. He watched intently as they played hopscotch, the ones in dresses
he watched the closest. The others could feel the curiosity emanating
from the memory.
A slightly older Daniel spied on a friend's sister as she changed clothes
in a bedroom he could see into from a tree not far away. He watched as
she walked around in her bra and panty trying to decide what to wear
holding up blouses and skirts, dresses, slacks evaluating her options in
the mirror she peered into.
Next, they saw as a 10 year old Daniel snuck into his mother's room and
looked through the drawers. His heart raced as he ran his fingers through
the silky panties, slips and bras. He breathed in the sweet smell that
rose from the sachet. He carefully replaced everything and searched other
drawers inspecting the sweaters, blouses, and nightgowns. He turned to
the closet and ran his hands over the dresses lined up on their hangers.
He lifted the hem of one and stepped underneath. When he heard a door
close he hurriedly slipped out from under the dress, closed the door and
scrambled out of the room.
A bit older now, he stood naked in the bathroom in front of a mirror, his
penis stiff with excitement. He took a pair of his mother's panties and
pulled them up his legs. They felt so smooth and sexy against his skin.
The lace band at the waist and around his legs made him even more
excited. He struggled getting the pantyhose on but eventually got them to
slide into place. He figured out how to put on the bra and pulled a full
slip over his head. Finally he got the dress on and faced the mirror. He
studied himself looking at his face that hadn't yet begun to sprout any
facial hair and wondered what it would be like to wear lipstick, eye-
shadow and other things, because even without those things now he felt he
looked very much like a girl.
He tried to walk around in the cramped bathroom but it wasn't large
enough to get the effect he wanted. He wanted to walk about the house but
his siblings might wake up and catch him.
He decided next time to find a way to add breasts. He ran his hands over
the top of the dress feeling the material of the bra against his nipples,
the silkiness of the slip against his stomach, and the sleekness off the
pantyhose against his legs. He felt of himself all over and eventually
lifted his dress to masturbate into the sink.
He carefully removed the clothes and put them back where they belonged.
More images flashed by as Daniel grew older and more adept at getting
dressed in women's clothes. He was in all sorts of bras and panties,
pantyhose of different styles and colors. Dresses of varying lengths
adorned his lean body. Sometimes they were the clothes of his mother.
Other times he raided the drawers and closets of other women who hired
him for babysitting jobs.
He felt guilty for betraying the trust, but he never stole anything.
Others around him reflected the feelings back to him.
Daniel was now older and living on his own. They watched as memories of
him buying his first dress and felt his fear of being seen by someone
that knew him. They also felt how the initial times dressing were very
sexual in nature but as time went on the feeling changed to just the joy
of being who he was and the sensation of the clothes.
They watched as he bought panties and hosiery. A nightgown joined the
dress hidden away in a box in a closet in case someone should come by for
a visit. It wasn't long before his paranoia of getting caught caused him
to toss those things into a dumpster and be gone forever.
But the longing didn't end. He would see a woman in a beautiful dress
walking down the street and long to be able to feel the same feelings of
the dress sliding around his legs as the breeze gently tugged at it.
The process would start again as he collected a small wardrobe and after
a short time would end up throwing it out again.
Now he was married. He occasionally would dip into his wife's lingerie
and don an outfit while she was away doing shopping. Many of her things
did not fit him at all. He longed for having things of his own but knew
that wouldn't go over with his wife.
A new memory of his wife berating him for wearing her things came up. She
had discovered some of her clothes had been stretched out of shape and
was certain she knew why. Daniel pleaded with her to understand that he
felt a need to do these things and that nobody was being hurt. He
explained that maybe if she would allow him to have some things of his
own then he would be able to privately take care of his needs and nobody
else would ever know.
She argued that someone might see him through a window. Or their kids
would be getting old enough that they might find his things and tell
others. Besides, he needed to just stop this silliness and be the man she
married.
He didn't argue any more. He understood her fears as he had been dealing
with those same worries all his life. He nodded to her and she stormed
out of the room.
He didn't stop though, he couldn't stop. He did buy some things of his
own and hid them away but he was always afraid that his wife or kids
would discover them.
Sometimes he would get something only to throw it away a few days later
because it was too frilly, or too girly. He found it odd thinking that if
something were discovered it would be better if someone found his black
skirt, but not the pair of leopard print panties with the lace trim but
it made some sense to him.
He went through all the memories of his dresses and lingerie. He recalled
the times he was on business trips and would buy things to wear in his
hotel room. His purchases and purges throughout his lifetime.
He finally concluded and felt embarrassed that it had been laid out bare
in front of all these others in around him.
He felt gladness and joy radiating back at him and was confused by it.
"You do not understand because you are blinded by what things you were
taught in that life. But we all have different experiences and we all
have learned by what you have shared."
"What could I learn from that?" Daniel protested. "I wasn't strong enough
to resist the urge to wear women's clothes? That it caused discomfort in
my wife when she discovered what I was doing?"
"You are still consumed by your own judgments. You are still thinking in
the absolutes that are required in the physical world. Here there are no
clothes, no male or female. You still think of yourself as Daniel because
it was who you became in your last life in the physical world. Reach out
with your essence. Discover yourself again."
At first Daniel was confused. Then he allowed his mind to expand taking
in all the things around him. To become aware of all of what he was. He
became aware of memories of other lives he lived in other times in the
physical world. He realized that what he thought was souls that
surrounded him were actually his own self that he had separated from to
take on the life he had just lived. The voice that spoke to him was
actually his own self.
Now that he was integrated back into the rest of himself, he became aware
of others that were there. Friends, relative, even pets that were happy
to see him and have his new experience as a part of them as well.
"So what did you learn from that life?" The question came from somewhere
he did not know, it might even have come from himself.
"It would seem there are things that we desire that have such an intense
hold on us that it is near impossible to deny those desires. For some,
they are terrible. For others, like myself, they are harmless and bring
the person some joy. I should not judge others not knowing what things
drive them. What goes on between two or more consenting adults is up to
them."
"What is next?"
"I think I am ready for a new lesson but I only just got back."
"Yes, you have been back for a second and for a millennium. There is no
time here. Go if you are ready to go. We are here always."
A part of the essence separated and made the transition into the physical
world eager to see what was to be learned next.
* - * - *
Bright light hit the eyes of the newborn baby as it emerged into the
world.
"Congratulations, you have a healthy baby girl!" the doctor told the new
parents.
"Her name is Danielle," the father answered back as he squeezed his
wife's hand.
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