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THE ACCIDENT I was happy with my life. At thirty three I was head of a research unit for a huge international pharmacy conglomerate, I had a nice four bed roomed detached house with no mortgage, only a few miles away in a 'good' neighbourhood. My wife, not quite two years younger than me was beautiful, smart and looked after our two girls, Tracey twelve and Alice, six. I liked to think that I was firm but fair with the girls, it's not easy for a man to discipline young girls, but they both knew that if absolutely necessary, I would put them over my knee. Because they knew I would do it, I hadn't needed to for three years and then only once with Tracy, she'd told Alice about it and from then on the threat was enough. At work I ran a similarly tight ship. Much of our work was extremely secret, we were working at human genomics technology. With the lessoning efficacy of antibiotics, working with adjusting the genetic make up of an illness or disease, or providing strengthened resistance that way, should provide the answer to future medical treatments. Everything we had done indicated that we were on the verge of several major breakthroughs. When that happened I would be world famous, the Nobel prize, among many others, would be mine and my team's. It is necessary to set this scene for you to be able to understand the background to what happened. I describe things here as they happened but some of it I didn't find out about until afterwards, but for continuity's sake I describe them as they happened not when I knew about them. I was doing my usual Monday morning walk through of the various staff positions, checking on what they were doing and their notes were all up to date, but primarily asking if they had any problems or needed anything. For security, most of the staff worked in separate rooms and a high level of safety had to be maintained, after all, many of the things they were working with could be dangerous if mishandled. It wasn't as if the staff weren't used to dealing with volatile substances, but many of ours were potentially more dangerous, but in subtle ways rather than explosive. I suppose this contributed to what happened. A research assistant, highly experienced and one on which I would have bet my shirt on his careful work, did the most basic thing wrong. As I was entering his lab, he had a battery of different samples of what we called 'Aggressive Chromosomes' lined up on his bench. We had engineered these to not only change the strings where they were introduced to in the body, they changed every other one they came across in a chain reaction, rather than fall foul of the body's immune system. One was the type that might be used to cure baldness in men, another to speed up the cell replacement in a body, to maximise the speed that cures would spread in a person, and a third to cure infertility in women. Those were just the only ones we were able to find out about, I know there were several others, I saw the unlabeled test tubes. No one can explain exactly what happened, we know it involved sodium/potassium alloy strips, probably just coming into contact with water. Whatever it was, the explosion was immense, killing the assistant instantly and putting me in the hospital Intensive Care Unit. We knew that the chromosomes on the bench, plus many other things entered my bloodstream through the multiple cuts from flying glass, what we didn't know was what effect, if any, it would have on me. We were a long way from medical trials on any of it, so we knew no more of the consequences that the ICU doctors. The answer was that once I got over the concussion, hardly no effects on me whatsoever. The only thing that didn't act as they expected was that my cuts were completely healed in only forty eight hours. Completely, no scars, nothing to show how badly cut up I'd been. With no other symptoms, in three days I was discharged and my staff was immediately set to work to find out how we could develop this aid to a speedy recovery. I was ordered to bed rest for fourteen days, ostensibly so that I was completely recovered, but I knew that they were worried about possible contamination by me of other things in the lab. By Sunday, I was feeling fitter than I had in ages. I'm not a running fanatic, but perhaps twice a week I run to a local park, round it and back home, it usually takes me about thirty or thirty five minutes. On that day, I got up early and did the routine run and because I was consciously monitoring myself I timed it. Twenty one minutes! I couldn't believe it and made a note in the day book, a short form of diary, I was keeping since the accident. I mentioned it to Helen as she was preparing Sunday roast and she suggested that perhaps I was becoming Superman. I made a mock attempt to fly, but it didn't work. As we sat down for lunch, Helen commented that I needed a haircut, I didn't think anything of it. The girls were full of themselves, their dance class was going to hold a concert on the following Friday evening and they were each going to perform. I began to think that life, after my miraculous escape, was only improving all the time. Even the belt on my trousers had to be taken in a notch, I was finally starting to get rid of my middle age paunch. It was Tuesday that I was a little concerned for the first time. I got up in the morning, but when I did my morning business, I don't want to be indelicate, but I passed more solid waste than I could ever remember and I didn't need to shave. Worse was that when I put my trousers on, they were too long. I discarded the first pair, thinking that somehow they'd got stretched, but the second and third pair were all the same. I called Helen up to the bedroom. "Can you see anything different about me?" I asked. "In what way?" "I think I'm shrinking." I said it. Up to that point I thought that if I didn't say it, it wouldn't be true. She walked across to me, put her arms round me and kissed me on the lips. "My God, you're right, you're shorter." She got a book and pencil, I found a tape measure in my drawer and she marked my height on the doorframe, where we marked the girls' heights as they grew. She measured my height while I held my breath. "You're only barely six feet, you were six two when you got your company ID. How can this happen? Is it to do with the accident?" She looked worried but not half as worried as I felt. I phoned my immediate boss, the director of R and D, Frank Wilmot. He told me to go straight to a clinic that was run by the company for trials and was on the same site as the establishment where I worked. I met up with Jim Childs, the doctor in charge and he admitted me to a private room. Helen had come with me but was asked to wait outside while they ran various tests. She came in to join me waiting for results which only arrived after a considerable delay. "What's the news Jim?" I asked when he finally returned. "Not good I'm afraid John." He took a deep breath then explained it, mainly for Helen's benefit. "All your cells are replacing at an incredible rate. Most cells in your body are replaced, the skin for example roughly every thirty days, some faster some slower, a few not at all, you get the gist. Many of yours seem to be changing every thirty minutes to an hour. The nature of the new ones are changing as well. Your Y chromosomes are not reappearing." While Jim and I went onto shock at the news, Helen wanted to know what it meant. "Helen, I'm sorry." Jim looked her in the eyes. "If it carries on like this, John will loose his male characteristics, he will become female." He left us to console each other while he telephoned Frank Wilmot and the MD about what was happening. "Surely there's something you can do?" she asked, already knowing the answer. "I'm sure there is, if this was bought on by the things my body absorbed in the explosion, then I think, given time, we could reverse it. The crunch is that we just don't know everything that went into me and even if we did, we don't know the amounts or proportions." I had to use the lavatory and was dismayed to feel and see that I did the same as first thing in the morning. I realised that I was losing body mass. Helen also noticed that my hair was even longer. I stayed in the clinic until Friday morning, by which time I had changed dramatically both in my height, then five feet two inches and appearance, down to a hundred and twenty pounds. Every day Helen came to see me during school hours and tried to shield the children from our devastation. On Friday we decided that it would be best if the children saw me in hospital, then they would understand better that I was ill, not just some freak. She explained to the school that the children would be in late that day as they were coming with her to collect me. "Dad! You look just like me," was Tracey's immediate reaction and the twelve year old was right. What she didn't know was that she was even more correct in her impression. My genitals had slowly sunk into my body and I would soon be the proud owner of female ones. Not only that but my voice had risen in pitch and I now sounded like Tracey as well. The girls took it surprisingly well. I expected some sort of hysterics, but all I got was the expectation that I would now want to do the things that they did. The first thing that Tracey did was to find a brush and start brushing my long hair only showing mild amusement that she was now as tall as me. We discussed how I was going to go to the dance concert that night. It was Helen that decided that the easiest was to say I was my children's cousin for the night. She asked the girls what my name should be. "I think I like Susan as a name." It was Alice's suggestion and no one could come up with a reason why not. It was carried on a unanimous vote, mine wasn't counted. We dropped the girls off at school and headed home. Helen took the dressing gown that was wrapped round my body off me and gave me a pair of Tracey's panties to put on. "I can't wear these," I complained. "What else do you suggest?" Helen came back at me. "A pair of your underpants and your lumberjack shirt and jeans?" I tried on several things from my wardrobe, but I wasn't ready to admit defeat. "What about if we go out and get something smaller for me?" I suggested. "Darling-" Helen stooped down and hugged me. "We could cut your hair short and get boy's clothes for you, but you'd just look like a tomboy and attract even more attention." She was right of course. I reluctantly pulled the feminine garment up my legs, then a cotton vest, ankle socks and one of Tracey's dresses. Helen didn't help by saying it was one my elder daughter had almost grown out of and it was the same with the shoes, she had to ball up little wedges of cotton wool to place in the heels before they would fit. It was in that state that I was taken, yes that's the right way of putting it, taken along to see my daughters' dance. Two or three of the mothers wanted to know where their father was and Helen had to say that I had been unavoidably detained at work. I was introduced as their cousin Susan. You've no idea how many times I was asked if I was jealous of them dancing when it wasn't me. The weekend brought no relief. My bowels continued to make attempts to block the lavatory, I proportionately shrunk and Helen told me that she felt perverted sharing a bed with me. I couldn't decide whether she was trying not to laugh or cry when she told me. The following week saw my shrinkage start to level off, I could tell by the amount I was relieving myself. I made regular trips to the clinic for measurements, but not much else. They were as helpless as me when it came to finding a solution to my problems Two weeks later I seemed to have stabilised. All my life signs returned to normal and I was excreting a normal amount for what I was taking in, eating and drinking in other words. I would have breathed a sigh of relief if I hadn't been in the state I was. After all the examinations were completed, and by my own quite clear observation, I had the body of a five year old girl. I was told everything was normal except that I seemed to have a slightly larger head than normal, but not beyond parameters, and I still had all my faculties. Of course I would have been a freak to be exhibited, had I not insisted on anonymity and for that reason, Susan had to have a younger sister called Cindy. Not my choice you understand, it was Tracey's choice this time and it looked as if it was the name I was going to be stuck with. Because it was an accident and my employer's liability, it was agreed that I remain on the payroll with an enhanced payment for disability. I opted for that rather than a lump sum for many millions for two reasons, first it avoided publicity which none of us wanted, but primarily, it meant that it would mean that I had a guaranteed income for life. As it turned out, that was definitely to my advantage. At home things were not nearly so clear cut. First of all I had to wear Alice's hand-me-downs. This amused the girls no end. Then Helen enrolled me in the local nursery school, mainly because a number of other mothers kept asking where I was schooled and what I was doing staying with Helen. Then she insisted I called her 'Auntie'. You have no idea what it's like to have to do as your wife tells you in public, when it's things like 'hold your cousin's hand when you cross the road' 'eat without opening your mouth dear' 'hold your dolly tight dear, it's dangerous crossing the road.' I know that Helen occasionally forgot who I was after a few weeks. She then treated me as if I really was only five. The worst thing was when she told me one day that she was going out for the evening. "I have to have a bit of a break Cindy, you don't mind, do you?" I would have understood it better if I hadn't had the fifteen year old girl, Jenny, from down the road, in to baby sit. Alice and I were sent to bed at seven o'clock but I sneaked out to see her and Tracy helping themselves to a beer each. "What are you doing?" I shouted. "You're too young to drink." She got hold of me and put me over her knee and spanked me. It hurt my behind but even more I felt humiliated, especially when I actually started to cry. She told me that if I said anything, first of all no one would believe me, and then the next time she came round she would spank me all evening. She put me back to bed and then, a little while later, Alice came in to see me. "It's not nice, being spanked, is it?" "No it isn't, Alice," I said. "I'm sorry I spanked you, I know what it feels like now." Even worse was to come. I was still awake when Auntie, I mean Helen came home. She'd obviously had too much to drink and she kept making shushing noises to someone else with her. I opened my bedroom door a crack and heard her paying off the babysitter, then went into the living room to get another drink that someone had poured for her. After a few minutes they both crept up the stairs. She was with the tennis coach from our club. They went into our bedroom and all was quiet for a few minutes, so I left my room and followed them. They were both naked in bed and didn't know I was there until I spoke. "Is that your husband Auntie?" She let out a little scream. "What are you doing awake Cindy?" "I was waiting for you to come home safely Auntie." She led me back to my room but called back over her shoulder. "You'd better go Ian." When we got there she was all apologies. "I'm sorry, I really am." She had tears in her eyes. "It's just that it's been so long, I have needs and I had too much to drink, but you're right, I should never have. For better and for worse, in sickness and in health. You're right, can you ever forgive me?" For the first time in my life I was lost for words, then I decided to be positive. "Let's have a talk about this in the morning, my love. I'm not unsympathetic, I do understand." The next day she wrote a note to get me the morning off nursery school and we sat down to talk. She started to apologise again, but I interrupted her. "Helen really, I do understand. I have no sexual desires at all now, but you must still have yours. Please go ahead, but on only one condition, I don't want to know it's happening, is that alright?" She picked me up easily in her strong arms and hugged me. "You are amazing," she told me. "No wonder I fell in love with you. Some day they'll find a way to reverse this, and when they do, I will be waiting for you." By the time she dropped me at school I felt I was on a roll. I finally knew that all my family were sympathetic to me. Now was the time to stop this mind numbing business of playing with colouring books and learning the alphabet. That day the young teacher was showing us different shaped wooden blocks and asking what they were. I'd always kept quiet in lessons up to then, but when she held up a triangular piece of wood and asked what it was I put my hand up for the first time. Obviously pleased that she'd finally encouraged me to join in, she chose me to answer. "It's an isosceles triangle, Miss." She was obviously surprised. "And what is an isosceles triangle, Cindy?" "It's one where two of the three sides are equal Miss." She did a double take then frowned and held up another slightly different triangular shaped piece of wood. "What's this one then Cindy?" "That's a right angled triangle Miss. It's recognisable because of the Pythagorean theorem Miss." "What's that Cindy?" I wasn't sure if she even knew herself. "You know, the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides." I suddenly realised that the whole class was staring at me. I hoped I hadn't gone too far and I would become the freak show that I had tried so hard to avoid. The teacher stared at me open mouthed. "How do you know that Cindy?" "It was just something my daddy told me Miss." She didn't take any further action that I knew of, but I blessed myself that I'd had a lucky escape from something that could have been the result of my stupidity. The trouble was that I was missing work and the mental stimulation it provided and it was then it occurred to me. There was nothing wrong with my brain. I could contribute towards work without having to leave home. If the company would provide a secure link to a home computer, I could work on figures or analysis without anyone having to see me. As soon as Helen took me home, I got onto Frank Wilmot and put it to him. As they were paying me anyway, he jumped at the idea and the very next day the hardware was installed in the room I used as my den. The day after that it was all connected up and running. My first problem was explaining to Helen the reason why I was dropping out of school. I told her about the triangular brick shapes I had identified and I'd come to the conclusion that she could say that I was attending a school for gifted children. The next problem was making the office chair high enough for me to be able to reach the keys and mouse. We ended up buying a high kitchen stool with arms and a back, the only snag being that I had to be lifted on the seat, off as well preferably unless I was willing to brave a big drop. It didn't take me long to get back into the swing of work and I was pleased to note that about half the staff were working on my blood samples, trying to find a way to get me back to normal. Even that first day I was able to make a contribution to the chemical analysis, something that Helen found highly amusing. "Just imagine what some of them would say if they could see you making that technical evaluation," she commented. Helen pointed out a potential problem. If she went out and someone discovered that I was home alone, it would get us into possible hot water. If it was just a quick errand we decided to take a chance, but for the weekly shop or something equally as long, it was decided that I would go along. It was on the first of these trips that we realised that there was a floor in the system. My little legs just couldn't take that amount of walking, I came home exhausted, even though we had cut the trip out to the bare minimum. The remedy was obvious but yet another humiliation piled on me. Helen recovered the girls' old push chair from the attic for me to ride in. Now when we went out we had a succession of women bending over me, telling my wife what an adorable little girl I was. One checkout lady bent right over me, displaying her rather voluptuous chest and I was very tempted to make a comment back about what adorable breasts she had. I nearly cracked up laughing when I thought of it and so did Helen when I told her later. As each of us goes through life we are destined to often think of a brilliant response to what someone says, too late to actually say it. Now I could think of things but didn't dare say them. A couple of months passed by with us getting into a routine. Every Friday we would go off to do the weekly shop and on Mondays and Wednesdays Helen would take me to our tennis club, not to actually play, she was too considerate to overtly make social contact with the coach while I was there, but to use the attached gymnasium. On Friday and Saturday evenings she would go out. I knew what she was doing but trained my mind to think what I would have done under the circumstances if the situation was reversed. I found that I was sleeping for extended lengths of time during the afternoons. I mentioned this on one of my routine check ups with Dr Jim Childs and he pointed out that I was actually growing at the same rate a child of my apparent age would do. Not enough to get excited about, barely half an inch, but growing I was, and that's a tiring business. In a way I found this a bit depressing, it seemed that I was becoming destined to grow into a woman. It became Helen's habit to tilt the pushchair back so I could fall asleep comfortably while we were out which I nearly always did, especially if I was waiting for her at the gym, she normally took a couple of hours. I was just outside the area with the weights and exercise machines, parked by a reception desk where the girl behind it would keep an eye on me for her. Of course Helen knew I wouldn't do anything stupid like a child might, I just spend the time sleeping. It was while I was doing that, that the unimaginable happened. I was vaguely aware of us getting on the move and I wasn't alarmed when I felt myself being loaded into our car. I didn't bother to open my eyes, deciding on another few minutes rest while we drove home. The next thing I saw when I looked round was being pushed in the chair towards a strange house in the middle of nowhere. "Where are we going?" I asked. I might add that in a forward facing push chair I couldn't see the person wheeling me without quite a bit of effort, until a strange arm reached forward to unlock the door we were standing in front of. A woman I didn't recognise lifted the buggy with me in it over the threshold and into the house. "We're home Jacquelyn." She bent down to me. "You're back in your proper home and I'm your real mummy, I won't leave you alone like that nasty woman did. Now let me unbuckle you and we'll have a lovely tea party." I had been kidnapped by a woman suffering from some sort of mental illness. I couldn't think how to handle the situation but I wanted to find out all I could about her. "My name's not Jacquelyn, it's Cindy." "No dear, it's Jacquelyn, you've always really been Jacquelyn, it's only that woman who took you called you Cindy because she didn't know." "My name is Cindy." I was determined to win a small point, but I'd reckoned without her determination. She picked me out of the push chair, laid me over her lap, pulled down my panties and started to smack my behind. "You're (smack) name (smack) is (smack) Jacquelyn (smack) do (smack) you (smack) understand? (smack)" She had hit me with so much force I could feel my backside glowing and I'm ashamed to admit I was sobbing. She placed me down on the floor. "What's your name little girl?" she asked. "Jacquelyn Miss." "No, I told you, I'm your real mummy, now what do you say your name is?" "Jacquelyn, Mummy." "Oh I'm so pleased to have you back home Jacquelyn, now let's have some tea and cake." She led me through to a sitting room, sat me down and went off to get squash and fairy cakes decorated with sprinkles. I had no option for the time being, so played along with her. She kept talking to me as if I was a baby, even younger than I obviously appeared. Once finished with that, she took me upstairs which I noted had gates at both top and bottom she unlocked with a key hanging from a chain at her waist. The top of each gate was higher than I was tall so I realised that climbing over the top one would be risking my life, especially as I would have to lower myself down to the top step some eight inches lower than the level of the floor on the corridor above. She took me to a large bedroom, decorated as a nursery, again for a baby rather than the young child I presented as. There was a cot, a playpen and a high chair, all of them decorated with Disney and similar characters and the overall colour scheme was pink. There was even a small table and stool, both small child sizes. She picked me up and laid me on a high changing table with the obvious intention of fitting me with a nappy. "I don't need a nappy Mummy," I commented. "I know, my darling girl, I'm going to put you to bed now and I'm just being on the safe side." "But it's very early Mummy." I had seen her wrist watch and it showed me it was only five o'clock. "You don't need to go to sleep yet sugar, I'm going to read to you." She stripped me and put a large nappy on me, covered by plastic pants that made an annoying crinkling noise when I moved, then put me in a sleep sack that was several sizes too small. It covered me completely except for my face. It was, as the name suggests a sack for my body and legs, a hood that pulled over my head, was a tight fit in place and my arms were in sleeves that ended in fingerless mittens that made my hands useless. The whole thing was secured by a buttons up my back where I couldn't reach them. Then she spent the next two hours reading inane baby's story books, not even as advanced as Janet and John. As she was obviously going to leave me, she was pulling the thick curtains closed, I asked if I could use the toilet before going to sleep. "Don't be silly Jacquelyn, that's what your nappy's for." With that she was gone. I was left wondering how I could escape or at least get word back to Helen. I hadn't seen any evidence of a land line, the house was in its own very private grounds and I had only seen power cables entering the building. The woman presumably had a mobile phone only. That apart, I didn't think it would be safe to try anything dressed as I was in this all-encompassing garment. My only choice was to put up with things until I saw a clear opportunity to escape. I learned later what Helen had done. She realised immediately that if she raised the hue and cry, she would be questioned as to what relationship she had with me. She used her phone to get hold of Dr Childs at my work and tell him what had happened. They held a video call meeting, including the M.D. of the company and it was he who got in touch with the police. He was a friend of the Chief Constable of the county force and explained the honest situation to him, emphasising the confidential nature of my true identity. It was only then that the search for me started although it didn't take long to get a CCTV picture of the woman who took me. Unfortunately that took them very little forward, she had no police record and there was no video of the car she undoubtedly took me away in. I spent an uncomfortable night. Not only did I want to go to the loo, the sleeping sack being too small kept my legs bunched up, I couldn't stretch out and every time I tried in my sleep, it woke me. When she came into the room in the morning I complained to her about both problems. She left and came back fairly quickly carrying a long handled brush used for back scrubbing and a bar of soap that she'd apparently got from her bathroom. She lifted me out of the cot and I joined those things on the changing table where she stripped me naked. "Jacquelyn, you're going to have to learn not to argue Mummy, if I say that you need to use a nappy, then that's what you'll do." She flipped me onto my stomach, pushed the soap into my mouth and started to spank my behind with the long handled brush. This was seriously painful, I took a dim view of anyone who used an implement to hit a child and now I knew why. When I'd smacked my daughter that time it had only ever been with my hand high on the back of her legs and even then I'd been aware not to use my strength. By comparison this woman was a sadist. After going from yesterday afternoon and all night without peeing, I couldn't hold it any longer, I peed on the table with the pain. That meant she had to clean it up, and wash it out of the carpet underneath before it took the dye out, and it served her right. The trouble was that she used that as excuse to tell me that she was going to keep me in nappies through the day, even though I explained that I hadn't worn nappies for years, the understatement of the century. I was still upset when she gave me breakfast, consisting of some mush more appropriate to just weaned babies. She obviously had it fixed in her mind that I was much younger than I looked. This decided my course of action, I opted to play with her mind. "What would you like to do today Jacquelyn?" she asked. "Would you like to play with your dolls' house?" "Thank you Mummy, but I would really like to continue with my homework, perhaps you can help me?" "Of course I can dear, what were you studying, numbers or letters?" She was obviously amused by my seriousness. "Well at the moment, primarily it's developing methods of speeding up the cell reproduction through G1, S, G2, to mitosis prior to cytokinesis." She looked at me blankly. "You do have a broadband connection, don't you?" I asked. "What are you talking about Jacquelyn?" "Well you probably know that one of the problems is, funnily enough, growing the spindle fibres strong enough in time for the anaphase. What do you think Mummy?" "I don't know dear, what sort of game is it?" "If you have an internet connection, look up mitosis and that should explain my problem." She left the room and came back with her mobile, Googled mitosis then looked at me open mouthed. "You see I've developed aggressive chromosomes so it's now just a case of sorting out the metabolic rate of cytokinesis. Here, let me show you." I took the phone from her and connected to my lab and Jim Childs's extension. I typed in: 'The lady here doesn't understand cell division from G1 to cytokinesis, can you take this number and explain it to her?' I signed it Cindy and handed the phone back to her, hoping that it wasn't a burner and they could trace her address. He would certainly have got the message. There was no reply and I hoped that was a sign of him getting onto the police without tipping her off. "How old are you Jacquelyn?" she asked. "How old do you think I am?" At this stage I thought it best to play for time. "Three or four." "I present between five and six years old." "When is your birthday?" "Next month, the twelfth. Could I have a cup of tea?" Well aware that I had achieved exactly what I set out to do, I sat back while she made a brew in her kitchen, eventually returning with two teas, mine in a non-spill sippy cup and only lukewarm. "Here you are Jacquelyn, mind it isn't too hot." We sat in silence with our drinks, her mind obviously having difficulty computing what I had been telling her. She had just returned the cups to the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. She scooped me up in her arms and ran up the stairs as fast as she could, slowed somewhat by the gates. She pushed me into the nursery and closed the door before going down to the front door and to the now repeated knocking. I could only just reach the door knob but not enough to get purchase to turn it so I carried the small stool over and stood on that. I was soon standing on the landing at the top of the stairs and could hear the conversation clearly. It was obviously a police officer who was asking after me. Well a child anyway. She of course, was denying that there was one in the house until I shouted as loud as my little voice would allow me. "I'm up here officer!" It took what seemed like an age to get things organised so while we were waiting I suggested to the officer that she may have lost a child called Jacquelyn as that was what she insisted on calling me. She was eventually transported in custody to the police station and I was separately taken by ambulance to the hospital to be checked over. I still had the red marks on my behind from the spanking I had earlier and they were duly noted. Of course all the staff there were only aware of me being a young child, so I had a nurse explaining what they were doing in words of one syllable until Helen arrived with Dr Jim. I was surprised to see that my wife was red eyed from crying and she was obviously thankful to see me. Jim gave the police details of how they could get hold of me should they need and then he dropped Helen and me off at out home. "You have no idea how relieved I am to see you darling." She told me and hugged me so tightly I had to ask her to let me breath. She gave me a long and detailed explanation of what had happened at the club after she had seen I was missing. Detailed but lacking one aspect. I was now pretty sure that her visits to the gym rather than playing tennis, was so that her and the tennis coach, Ian, could spend some private time. As I say, pretty sure, but I really didn't want to know, especially as she was obviously feeling so guilty about it. I couldn't find it in me to blame her. We had always had a regular sex life, at least four or five times a week when childbirth hadn't interfered with it, so I knew that she was missing me badly in that respect. "You do know that it wasn't your fault?" I wanted her to stop her taking responsibility, just because she was satisfying a natural urge. "I've sort of guessed why you were so upset and you can't go on like this, it will stop the little enjoyment you can get. It looks as if I'm going to just grow up as a girl, in that case I can't make a claim on you, so I was wrong. I want you to invite Ian to the house rather than snatch private moments as if you are guilty of something. I love you more than life itself and I can't bear you being unhappy, especially as I'm the cause, my fault or not. I've got no real sexual urge myself, just memories, so it's not fair to stop you, we've just got to come up with an explanation for Tracey and Alice, I don't want them to think you're doing something immoral. We'll tell the girls that I need to do special exercises because of my physical state and Ian is coming to the house to give me sessions, I'll go to bed as soon as I'm tired and he can spend time with you and you don't need to worry about anything." "My Darling," Helen turned pink and I thought she was going to cry, "I can't do that, I'd feel terrible." "You can and you will. I now have no expectation of getting my old body back, so you must now start to think of me as your sister so we can still love each other, just not in a sexual way." "I love you so much, why did this have to happen?" "I don't know, but it did." I took her hand. "We've just got to play the cards we're dealt, you can't put your life on hold for ever." So that is why the woman who loved me as much as I loved her ended up having a sex life outside our marriage. A year later we had both got used to the arrangement, although she wasn't seeing Ian any longer, he wanted a long term commitment that Helen wasn't prepared to give and she couldn't tell him why. I got used to her dating other men, or I should just say men. As far as the world was concerned I became her daughter by adoption and we were no nearer finding an antidote to my accident than we were at the time. I continued to work on the project we had started and at the same time physically grew consistent with a girl of my apparent age. Of course a problem was raised for my family when my birthday came round. In the past Helen had bought me a really good bottle, scotch, Cognac or perhaps a special wine. The girls would give me perhaps a tool, clothing or aftershave. None of that could be applicable now. My scientific mind actually had me just tasting various alcoholic drinks. To my horror, although not a great deal of surprise, I found that they we unpalatable to me. My girls gave me a scientific calculator but my wife insisted on buying me a dozen bottles of vintage port, telling me that at some stage in the future I would be able to appreciate them if they were laid down now. The next, even bigger problem was when Tracey's hormones started to kick in and she became your average rebellious teenager. It was outside my physical capabilities to discipline her myself, but after trying, and failing, I then made the effort to talk to her more as an equal friend. "You know as well as I do, Tracey, that what you are going through is caused by your hormones flooding your body." I went into the reasons that she had to be extra careful and at the same time try to accept that her mother loved her and just didn't want her to come to harm. "Can you imagine what she's going to have to put up with when Alice and I both go through puberty and start chasing after boys?" Of course she found that hilarious and from then on she was able to think of me as her friend and confident so life in the home was able to, usually, settle down again. Although I had been sort of joking with Tracey, five years after the accident I had my first period. My mind went haywire. I found I had severe mood swings, even having a go at Helen. After it happened of course I recognised the cause and had a long talk with my wife, who as always still knew that I loved her. The immediate cause of my ire was that for some time she had been dating my Doctor at the company clinic, Jim Childs. I suppose I could see that this was different from any of her other relationships, he was all together such a nice man and we had been friends as well as colleagues for years. "Things are more serious between you and Jim, aren't they?" I questioned her. "Darling I would never hurt you, you know that." "I know, but I think it's time for you to get a divorce from John Simms, he doesn't exist any more and I now accept that there's no chance of him ever coming back." She started to baulk. "No, I know you still love him, but in all honesty he's dead. If you are thinking of settling down with someone else, I think Jim would make an excellent choice." She didn't agree straight away but six months later she went ahead and we were no longer man and wife. It wasn't long after that I was a bridesmaid, along with Tracey and Alice, at my wife's wedding. You've no idea how weird that felt. We had lovely powder blue dresses which contrasted nicely with the white worn by my wife, she looked gorgeous. Back in our time we'd not had a church wedding, then we were saving for our house deposit and I'd not long been earning, but I always knew she regretted not having a 'big day' with the gown and all. I'd often thought in the past, that I would arrange to have a confirmation of our vows in church one day, I just never imagined me attending my wife's marriage to someone else. They organised a reception in a local hotel and it was there, in the ladies rest room that she found me crying my eyes out, I think Tracey heard me and fetched her. "Let me in Darling." I was suddenly startled, I didn't mean for her to know. "I'm sorry," I told her, "I think it's my blasted hormones again, it's nothing, honestly." "If you don't want me to live with Jim, I won't. We married for better or for worse, in sickness etc., and that divorce was just a piece of paper." "No, of course not." I was adamant. "I just think it was the emotions of the ceremony that got to me. Anyway, I'm looking forward to going out for a pint or two with my old mate Jim." The sad mood was broken, we both creased up with laughter. What I didn't tell her was that I knew I would never be attracted to a man, I'd never had any leanings in that direction. Up to that day. However, Jim had a son by his previous marriage and while my mind screamed no, my body told me that Luke was very fanciable. The fact that I had these feelings was adding to my mind's confusion over the event. What was more, when it came time to take my bridesmaid's dress off, I was really quite upset. I loved the feel of it and how it made me look. In spite of trying to smother it, the thought uppermost in my mind that day was looking forward to the time it was me wearing the wedding dress. Knowing all about me, and being used to talking to a child that was really an adult, made Jim a very easy person to live with. While he advised my 'sisters', rather than disciplined them, he always spoke to me as an equal, aware from the start how difficult it was for me to no longer be married to Helen. To a certain extent it was also difficult for him, under the circumstances. It was for that reason I suggested that Tracey, Alice and I all changed our names to Childs, to fit in with Helen and Jim's surname. I was surprised how reluctant the girls were, saying they really didn't want to break that last connection with who their father used to be. I managed to talk them round, telling them that we were all now a new family. I then pointed out that it would be the third time I would be a child (alright, with a bit of poetic licence over the last 's' in our new name). Everyone saw the joke. My accident was sixteen years ago now. My biggest sadness at this time was that I have watched my wife go into middle age, with her first grey hair, just as I was entering the prime of my life. This wasn't how I envisaged things would be in our later life together. On the positive side though, today is my wedding day. I am the one wearing the white gown with my 'sisters' as my bridesmaids (Tracey's been married three years now). Jim is in his morning suit and is giving me away to his son, Luke. We didn't date after my wife's wedding to Jim, we were too young so it was some years later, but we are hopelessly in love. We had an awkward time explaining what had happened and how I got such a high powered job where I work so young, but we got over that hurdle and now we're looking forward to starting a family of out own. When Helen came to see me this morning we both had a good cry, but got over it. She's still happy with Jim and looking forward to becoming a grandmother, Tracey's pregnant. I've been assured that there's no reason why I shouldn't be once Luke and I have got ourselves together. I pointed out that Tracey and Alice will become aunts and half sisters to my offspring at the same time. It's a funny world.