Barney Bangs Becky
- 3 years ago
- 18
- 0
November 13th, 1998
Dear Purple People Eaters,
Hi. I do not have a membership in your *fine* fan-club, but I have a question.
I suppose it is obvious that Barney is a T-Rex, but I’m having trouble figuring out what in Heck Baby Bop and B.J. are. Could you help me with this?
I think you should have more pictures on your website of some of the supporting characters, like Stella the Storyteller, Scooter McNutty, Miss Etta Kette, and Booker T. Bookworm (where do you *get* these names?! Pure friggin’ genius, I *must* say!), and maybe tell us a little about what makes them tick. Just a suggestion, but a dandy one, I think!
And speaking of suggestions….
In your ‘legal use’ of the website section (which seems paranoid, at best), you say…
‘We love to get your comments, but PLEASE DO NOT SEND any suggestions, outlines, scripts, drawings or ideas in any form for new shows, episodes, plots, products or characters. If you do, The Lyons Group will have the right to use anything you send for any purpose and will have no obligation to give you credit or to pay you in any way.’
You don’t seem to understand copyright law. Any creative work, as soon as it is in ‘fixed form’ is copyrighted automatically, by the author. Obviously, if someone were to try to make a buck, using your trademarked creation, you could sue his or her knickers off (and I imagine that you would! Kudos to you!), but to say that you are under ‘no obligation’ to remunerate an individual for stealing his or her idea is off the mark.
May I suggest (and you can have this one for free, the next one will cost you $500.35), that you tell your fans that any unsolicited creative works, will be returned unread (unviewed, untouched, unscented, unsoiled, or uninspired as the case may be), or that you require them to send a signed statement, giving you permission to add to your millions by taking advantage of children who, for some reason, want to be a part of the Barney Syndicate.
I think you’ll have fewer legal expenses that way.
Anyway, CHEERS! I hope you can answer my questions, and I hope that my suggestion keeps you out of trouble with the American Justice System (the best in the WORLD, I’m told!).
Take care (I mean it!),
Reverend Scott ‘Animal’ Hutchinson
P.S. I shan’t consume victuals, nor shall I imbibe liquid refreshment, until you are forthcoming with a SERIOUS response! And you don’t want *that* on your Big Purple conscience, now, *DO* you!?
———-
November 18th, 1998
To The Purple Gang,
Recently, I sent you fine folks an e-mail (that is, and electronic letter, over the Internet, isn’t technology amazing!?), after searching through the Official Barney and Friends website.
On the website, I believe, it was promised that all correspondence would be answered within two days. I sent my e-mail on Friday, November 13th, and it is now Wednesday, November 18th! Even if I allow that you meant two business days, your time was up as of Midnight last night!!!
Surely, one such as Barney, who is looked up to by millions, if not billions, of children all over the world (and who knows?, some extra-terrestrial tots may be tuning in!!!!!), understands the importance of keeping a promise, so I am assuming that, for some unknown reason, you did not receive my original e-mail. For this reason, I am sending the original ELECTRONIC mail (I’m still amazed, aren’t you?), as an attachment.
To recap: I need to know what B.J., and Baby Bop are. I understand that they are dinosaurs (EGAD, I’m no babbling idiot!), but I am unsure as to their particular species. It can be assumed that they are both the same species, after all they are siblings. But, oh! What if one was adopted!? I could be making the usual blunder associated with ASSUMING! This casts doubt on my assertion that Barney is, indeed, a T-Rex! So, this leads to additional questions!
I also asked that you give more information (on your website) about the supporting (non-dinosaur) cast of the Barney and Friends show. Perhaps some pictures (at least), and a life history of each character. Do they have lives outside the show? Are they good drivers? What are their favorite foods? These are just a few of the questions, about these characters, that I feel people would like answered (and with more promptness than you have shown to me).
Thirdly, I gave you some sound legal advice about copyright law. No, I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV (but boy would I like to! I understand that those folks on L.A. Law made quite the bundle of greenbacks!), but I think my advice was sound! I.E. that you tell your fans that any creative material will be sent back by you, without looking at it, or that, if they want to see their work on the boob (please excuse my language) tube, that they will have to give written consent, for you to use it without paying for it. What do you think?
I said in my letter that I would go hungry and thirsty until I got a serious reply from you, and by golly I meant it! I cannot believe you would ignore someone’s mail, knowing that to do so might put their health (or dare I say, LIFE?) at risk! So, please, please, write back soon! (Though, to be honest, I must admit that I had a delicious snack-cake, and a tall glass of wholesome homogenized milk for breakfast. But THAT’S IT! And I’m aching for a pepperoni pizza {with extra cheese!}).
Signing off with best wishes to you and yours,
Reverend Scott ‘Animal’ Hutchinson
P.S. Here’s some more advice for you… Ignore this letter, and make me starve to death! Okay, if you take this advice, you will owe me $500.35, as per our agreement in my last e-mail, so you’ll save money by not taking this advice, and answering my e-mail (still amazed!) in a timely fashion!
———-
November 18th, 1998
Dear Mr. Hutchinson:
Your recent e-mail messages have been forwarded to me for response. You are correct in your judgment that the Barney character is a Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur, although a highly stylized one. The BJ character is a stylized Stegosaurus, and the Baby Bop character a stylized Triceratops. While we appreciate your interest in our other characters, I’m sure you will understand that our web site is intended primarily for the enjoyment of Barney’s young fans, whose greatest interest is in their large purple pal. As characters such as Etta Kette and Scooter McNutty become more familiar to our toddler audience, more information about them will be included.
Finally, although we appreciate your concern, please rest assured that there are a number of us here who do have law degrees and have become somewhat expert in matters concerning intellectual property, including copyright. This is why we specifically ask that no submissions of ideas be made via the Internet. However, because we cannot physically prevent someone from making a submission, we want them to be aware that doing so will constitute what is known in the law as ‘implied consent’ to our use of any materials submitted, without payment or credit. This is a similar concept to the shrink-wrap license that applies to many software products — i.e., by opening and using the product, you have indicated your consent to the terms of the license granted by the supplier.
I trust that this will satisfy your curiosity about these matters. Thank you again for your interest in our characters and programs.
Joyce D. Slocum
Sr. Vice President, Legal and Business Affairs
———-
November 18th, 1998
Dear Ms. Slocum,
Thank you for your prompt reply to my recent e-mail message! Finally, I can attend family suppers, and I can stop staring at everyone else, while they stuff their greedy faces!
Barney is a Tyrannosaurus Rex! I knew it! (Though, I have to admit that I was feeling doubt. A problem that I have had throughout my long life. But
that is neither here nor there!)
And BJ is a Stegosaurus, and Baby Bop is a Triceratops! That amazes me to no end (though not nearly as much as this age of instant, electronic communication. Don’t you agree?)! I mean, I had originally guessed that they’d be the same species, being brother and sister, but then, putting assumptions aside, I speculated that they might not be! And this bold move paid off! In spades! But this leads to other questions, which my young granddaughter asks me again and again, as I clasp my hands to my ears shouting, ‘I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW! LEAVE ME ALONE! OKAY, I’LL FIND OUT! JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT’S PEACE, CHILD!’ Those questions being,
1) Which of the two siblings was adopted? B.J. or Baby Bop? Or both?
2) Does s/he (a clever way of typing ‘he or she’, don’t you agree?) know that s/he is adopted?
3) Does s/he (see how well that works?) know that s/he is adopted, and is s/he given any education about his/her (I don’t know a word effectively combines his and her… sorry) true biological heritage?
4) Does s/he know that his/her adoptive parents love him/her as their own?
5) Will the birth parents try to take him/her back from the adoptive parents!? (Wouldn’t that make for some fine drama on the show!? And, by golly, if you wish to use this idea, feel free! I have no need for financial gain!)
These are all the questions that she asks before I run screaming from the room! But I might have a couple myself!
For instance,
1) Does B.J. tease Baby Bop about her adoption (if it is, indeed, her that was adopted! I’ll not assume it is, as we know what *that* leads to!)?
2) If the answer to #1 is ‘yes’, do their parents punish him in any way for it?
‘Enough about that!’ I’m sure you are saying!
As for Scooter McNutty, Miss Etta Kette, and the other supporting cast members… my young Granddaughter has questions about them, too! But nothing that I haven’t already brought up, so I shan’t list them here. She may not be your typical Barney fan, however. She is very advanced for her age (three!), as you can see from the curious questions, above!
Wow! Barney has his own team of lawyers! That is spectacular!
And I see your point about your legal disclaimer! It makes sense, now that you’ve explained it. If you didn’t give that warning, I suppose it would be a different story, altogether! O-Ho! You are a clever bunch, indeed!
Again, CHEERS! I thank you for your very prompt reply, and hope that you will take the time to answer these other questions, so that my Granddaughter will go back to her coloring books!!
Sincerely,
Reverend Scott ‘Animal’ Hutchinson
P.S. I know that I don’t have to resume my hunger strike, as you are obviously a faithful correspondent!
———-
November 21st, 1998
Dear Ms. Slocum,
Let me tell you a little something about me. When I think something good about someone, I hate to be proven wrong. When I think something bad about someone, on the other hand, I love to be proven wrong. In my last letter to you, on Wednesday, November 18th, 1998, I stated that you were ‘obviously a faithful correspondent!’, because you were very prompt with your response to my letter from earlier in the same day.
I do not wish to be proven wrong about you, Ms. Slocum, so I am going to ASSUME (despite the well-advertised dangers of doing so) that you did not get my last letter, in which I ask some questions that have been plaguing my young Granddaughter’s thoughts for days now (sometimes she does not sleep, her mother informs me).
I am sending that letter to you now, as an attachment to this e-mail, but I will review the contents of it with you.
In a nutshell (an odd expression, don’t you think? After all, what is in a nutshell, besides nuts?),
•I was happy to learn that Barney is, indeed, a Tyrannosaurus Rex (because I enjoy being right, as I told you).
•I asked several questions (mostly from my young Granddaughter, but a couple from me) about the details of B.J.’s and/or Baby Bop’s adoption.
•I thanked you for helping to end my hunger strike (I still feel badly for having cheated on it).
My young Granddaughter would still like her questions answered, and she has promised not to stop pestering me, until the answers are forthcoming (she is a lovable child, but quite precocious, as they say!)! And she has added new questions to her list… i.e. :
1) Why doesn’t Barney eat B.J. and Baby Bop, since he is a meat-eater, and they are plant-eaters? Is he on a diet?
2) Why does Barney have lawyers? Is he going to jail? (Let us hope not!)
3) Aren’t most dinosaurs brown or grey? Why is Barney Purple? Is he sick?
I hope that you can answer these questions, as well as the questions from my previous e-mail, as my young Granddaughter is quite adamant that they be answered, and can be quite persistent (you might as well replace that word with ‘annoying’).
I’m sure you are busy, so I will leave you now, to do your job.
SKOAL! (Scandinavian for CHEERS!) And here is wishing you and yours a Happy Holiday Season!
Signing off,
Reverend Scott ‘Animal’ Hutchinson
———-
November 25th, 1998
Dear Ms. Slocum,
What do you tell a small child, Ms. Slocum, when she asks ‘Why won’t Barney write to me? Doesn’t he love me?’ For the past week, all I have been able to say to my young Granddaughter, when she asks these questions, is ‘I don’t know.’ I’ve tried telling her that maybe you haven’t received the last two letters that I’ve written, but she is not so credulous. As I have indicated before, she is a very advanced three year old. Did I tell you that she is already reading from a grade 4 schoolbook? I’m very proud of her, but also worried. She has refused to eat anything, until we hear from Barney again (I don’t know where she learned such behavior!). So, again, Ms. Slocum, what would you tell her?
The last time you wrote to me, on Wednesday, November 18th, 1998, you were very helpful, and answered many puzzling queries. But that was a full week ago, and I have corresponded twice in that time. Now I am sure that your website indicated a two-day wait for answers to questions about Barney, and my young, sad, Granddaughter, and I have been more than patient. I hope you will take pity on a starving child, and answer the questions that we have put forth.
I am sending my last two letters, which, for some reason, you have chosen to ignore, as electronic attachments, but I will review the more pressing concerns with you now.
•Is Barney ailing, or in any sort of embarrassment with the law?
•How does Barney ignore his predatory instinct, and keep from devouring his tasty young friends?
•Which of Barney’s friends, B.J. or Baby Bop, is adopted, and how do the young dinosaurs cope?
•Will the birth parents of either B.J. or Baby Bop show up to reclaim their hatchlings? (This would be a story ripped from today’s headlines! Don’t you agree?)
I would also like to know if there are any plans for a feature-length movie about everyone’s favorite Purple Dinosaur (Barney). It would be interesting to learn how he, B.J., and Baby Bop, escaped whatever calamity annihilated all of the other ‘Terrible Lizards’ on the planet! Wouldn’t you say? I’d be happy to discuss, with you, some theories that might explain this!
Well, I guess that is all I have to say. I sincerely hope that you will take the time to answer these very important questions, as a young girls dreams rest on you!
Patiently yours,
Reverend Scott ‘Animal’ Hutchinson
———-
Nov. 25th, 1998
Dear Mr. Hutchinson:
I apologize for the delay in responding to your recent messages. The press of business and a spate of bad health have put me behind on a number of matters.
I am sure that your precocious young granddaughter will be pleased to learn that the answers she seeks about Barney and his friends are entirely within her control. Barney comes alive only through the imaginations of children, and is to each child what that child needs him to be at that time in that child’s life. The same is true of BJ and Baby Bop. I’m sure you will enjoy exploring these issues with your granddaughter. Does she think that BJ or Baby Bop is adopted? Perhaps they are step- or half-brother or sister in her imagination, if she is familiar with these relationships. What does she think their parents are like? Where does she imagine they live when they are not with Barney and their human friends? One of our missions is to encourage children to use their imaginations, and I’m sure your granddaughter will weave wonderful stories for you if you put these questions back to her.
I do have an answer to one of your more pragmatic questions. There is a Barney feature film, which was released to theaters in the spring, and is now available on video. It is called ‘Barney’s Great Adventure,’ and is a wonderful story about the power of children’s imaginations. It might make good Thanksgiving viewing for you and your inquisitive granddaughter.
Wishing you and yours a happy and safe holiday,
Joyce D. Slocum
Sr. Vice President, Legal and Business Affairs
———-
November 26th, 1998
Dear Ms. Slocum,
First off, I must apologize for not asking after your health in my last correspondence. I should have known something was amiss! I sincerely hope that you are feeling better, and that the electronic greeting that I sent to you through the World Wide Web was at least a small ‘pick-me-up’! Here’s hoping that you are feeling 100%! CHEERS!
The explanation, to all of the questions that I put forth to you, that you gave in your e-mail, which I received late last night, was very clever, indeed! I thought, when I explained it all to my young Granddaughter this morning, that this would be the end of the matter, but alas, things have only gotten worse!
Let me explain…
When I told her, this morning, that ‘anything (she) thinks happens to Barney, is what happens to Barney’, she immediately broke into tears! It took some time before she was able to speak coherently, but we managed to decipher, through her sobbing, what had her so upset. Her mother tells me (I couldn’t stick around. I went out to Dairy Queen, and had myself a RootBeer float. The best way to soothe my frazzled nerves, let me tell you!) that she has convinced herself that Barney is sick with some horrible disease, and that he is about to go to prison for some terrible crime, such as devouring B.J. and Baby Bop! And what is worse, she thinks it is all her fault!!!!!
Her mother has tried to dissuade her of this notion, but to no avail! Surely, there is something that we can say to change her mind! Your writers must know what is really in store for Barney! Please help!
On to other matters!
You say that there is a Barney movie! Happy Day! But I get the impression, from the title, that it doesn’t explain how Barney, B.J., and Baby Bop escaped extinction all those millions of years ago! Are there plans for a ‘prequel’, in which we learn the answer to this conundrum? I was thinking that it would be a really good idea for you to team up with Steven Speilberg, and have Barney’s origin tied in with that of the ‘Jurassic Park’ monsters! Wouldn’t that be a cinematic dream!?
Anyway, CHEERS! again! And I hope you are in tip-top shape for the challenges that your job puts forth for you! I’m told that chicken soup is a time-honored remedy for what ails you!
Best Wishes to you and yours,
Reverend Scott ‘Animal’ Hutchinson
———-
January 8, 1999
Dear Ms. Slocum,
Greetings! It has been so long since I’ve written to you, you must have been wondering where I was! I trust that your Holidays were pleasant. We had a lovely Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. Wow! 1999! Amazing, isn’t it? When I was a lad of ten years of age, my teacher promised that there would be flying cars by 1999! But she may have been loopy anyway.
So, the Holidays are over, and I’m sure that you are back to work and busy as ever, or why else would you not have responded to my last e-mail? I’ve attached it, though, in case you didn’t get it.
Teamviewer Femdom File By jo199 The computer screen shone light upon my plain-white panties and bra, making them glow obscenely atop my peachy white skin. Since the divorce, I'd become brave in private and crossdressed on occasion. That sometimes ended up all day. The webcam was on, but I wasn't in any kind of chat situation, so it was only for personal titillation. I stroked off while surfing femdom porn, not much caring to cum quickly. This was...
What’s in the Pinup Files? It’s an innocent enough question, but how would you answer it if your mom asked? Pinups were invented a long fucking time ago, so they’ve been around your whole life unless you’re the most ancient motherfucker ever to visit ThePornDude. In all that time, it hasn’t changed all that much. We may be gawking at pinups online instead of in the pages of nudie rags hidden under your dad’s mattress, but the content is largely the same. It’s just in higher resolution.To be...
Premium Big Tits SitesI was waiting for the end of this boring meeting with our client. It was important for our company. My boss even lent me his shiny car, so I could make a good impression at their facilities. But I was not totally focused on that meeting. I was eager for the end of it.We, you and me, were going to grab a coffee today, after work, and I was getting late for it. Finally, it's 6.30pm. The meeting is over. It went Ok. We sold our solution to them. The client chose us.I get into the car and I take...
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?”Anthea looked up at her mum as she sat down at the dining table. “Nothing is wrong,” Anthea responded watching as her mum hurriedly dried her hands with a tea towel.“Is the baby okay? Are you okay? Is Jack okay?” she asked as her husband came into the room and pulled up a seat at the table.“We’re all fine Mum,” she responded exasperated with her mum’s anxiety. “I have something to tell you.”“Sit down Helen,” her dad snapped. “Give the lass a chance to speak.”Anthea...
Part 1 M'names Bawnie, thass spelt B-a-r-n sumthin. I live up in Alberta where it's cold wif Mom n Paw. We is sheep farmers, least Paw is, I'm just a kid of 16 an Mom, she aint a sheep farmer, she does cookin an shit like that. I got a new puter so I kin make words on the screen thing. Its great, it tells me ifn a words speld wrong. Wish I had this thing years ago woulda saved those three long years of schoolin which tort me jack-shit. This spellin thing is truly amazing like if I write "...
Uther By Ellie Dauber (c) 2006 Introduction According to the legends of King Arthur, Merlin changed Uther Pendragon into a double for Duke Gorlois, so he could spend the night with Ygraine, the Duke's wife. Ygraine and Gorlois had three daughters: Elaine, Morgause, and Morgan le Faye. During their time together, Ygraine became pregnant with the child who was to become King Arthur. Uther's men killed Gorlois that same night. This is my TG (of course) version of what...
The the wind howled around the quayside as I stepped onto terra firma for the first time in weeks, the wind threw sharp shards of ice to sting our faces as we looked up at the sails as they were finally furled and stowed as our captain grinned at our discomfiture, "Au revoir!" he joked as if he knew we should soon be recalled. Those such as were left, and we were few enough, I shuddered. My best uniform packed securely in my Valise, awaited me, and just a few more duties before I...
Do you know of the porn site Motherless.com? You should. I’ve reviewed it a few times on my site, The Porn Dude, although it was for different genres every time. This time around, I’m going back to this place and looking at a specific and niche little category many of you are just begging me to cover. We’re looking at vintage porn today. While it doesn’t have the same resolution and quality as the porn you can find today, it’s definitely a genre of porn that has a lot of personality to it and...
Vintage Porn SitesI should have known better. I should have remembered that old saying, "If it looks too good to be true, it is." I was in love. She was damned near all I thought about with the exception of my studies and it didn't make sense to me. I prided myself on my intellect and my ability to think logically, but there wasn't anything logical about the way I felt about Althea. She was beautiful, smart and very popular and I was not. I wasn't a bed looking guy, but I was nothing exceptional. I was...
Motherless. A one-word website title that says everything it needs to say. This is a site where the rules are, more or less, completely thrown out the window, morality means absolutely nothing, and there is nobody to save you from it. Hedonism is God here.The site likely is also called this due to the fact that the girls who end up on motherless.com likely have no positive female influence in their lives to keep them from it. Motherless is the place parents spend their whole lives fearing that...
Porn Pictures SitesI always considered Motherless the “4chan” of porn. Not only because Motherless was somewhat popularized there, but because Motherless also encourages users to share their own content in a very open way. This means minimal bullshit like moderation and censorship, and a strong “anything goes” attitude that leads to free and extreme content. It encourages people to create and upload their own homegrown content, like videos of their girlfriend pissing or spycam videos of their cousin....
Amateur Porn SitesWhat is it about Motherless that makes me fucking cum every time? Maybe it is how raw and amateur the porn on the site comes across as, or the content is just that fucking hot. Perhaps it is the fact that there is an astronomical amount of pornography just waiting for a dumb fuck like you to beat off to! I really don’t know, and frankly, I’m not going to pretend that I do.But what I do know is that if you love BBWs, the Motherless.com homepage will not be of much use! Preferably, head on over...
BBW Porn SitesHave you ever heard about a website called Motherless? Home to all kinds of kinky porn niches, with a side of the mainstream crap? If you are into some questionable fap content, you might want to check this website out. Plus, Motherless is a free porn website, so you can browse as much as you fucking want. Now, I am not really here to talk about the website in general… I am here to tell you about their amazing category, called voyeur porn.The world of voyeur fucking is a rather interesting one....
Voyeur Porn SitesThe Five Kingdoms of Arstoria had been embroiled in the Great Ancient War for centuries. The war came to an end when Kalace, the Wizard King conquered the five lands and brought them under his rule. Kalace, the Wizard King of Arstoria, conquered all of his opponents who were unable to deal with his overpowering magic. When Kalace had united the five kingdoms, he brought peace to the warring kingdoms and was revered and celebrated by his later generation. Kalace, however, had a dark weakness in...
FantasyWoah, did Motherless.com get a facelift? I know I suggested it in my review, so I guess they listened to me! Well, I’m not going to brag too much about it, and instead, I’m going to focus on what I’ve set out to bring you today. We’re looking at an amateur website, and I just know that many of you are begging for amateur creampie content, so that’s what we’re looking at. I know how much you think Motherless can look sickening and pretty gruesome at times, but the creampie content can be quite...
Creampie Porn SitesNo matter what type of porn you may be in the market for, Motherless has an ample supply of it, and cucking is no different. Actually, this might help to explain how you ended up being such a pussy little cuck.The journey that brought you to my website reading cuck porn reviews started in your childhood. A fair portion of my readership is actually motherless. Why, you ask? Your guys' moms chose a life of cucking and riding cock instead of raising you fucks properly.Don't worry, gents. I'm in...
Cuckold Porn SitesI browsed the horror stash at Motherless all morning, and now I don’t know if I should jack off or go hide in the closet until the danger has passed. Then again, hiding out might give me the perfect opportunity to rub one out in the peace and safety of the dark. Who knows who—or what—might be peeping in the windows with nefarious intent if I sit at my desk and shake my dick at the screen. Just like when I masturbate at the local Starbucks, I’ve got to be sure to balance the potential pleasure...
Extreme Porn WebsitesIncest porn has been a staple of pornography since the very first incel caveman realized that he couldn’t find fresh pussy out and about. He resorted to sniffing a whiff of his mother’s loincloth when she wasn’t looking, and beating his old cave meat into a leather sock.Now personally I’m not into the whole mommy-son dynamic – I’m a classy guy. But it’s no secret people like to get freaky when the lights go out, and if you’ve got a stiffy in your hand and you’re on Motherless, you gotta go...
Incest Porn SitesThanks to my usual cast and crew of Editors and Advance Readers, most of whom prefer to pretend that they don’t know me and wisely wish to take no responsibility for any part of my addled writings... Il n’est rien de réel que le rêve et l’amour - Nothing is real but dreams and love (from Le Coeur innombrable, IV, Chanson du temps opportun by Anna de Noailles) She was my one true mistress and ever faithful lover, my Green Lady and guardian of my dreams and now that I was back home...
When the car with Jake in it became a dot on the horizon, Thea turned to go back in the house. Suddenly Floyd appeared. “Mrs. Thea, how you be?” Smiling, she knew immediately what he wanted. He had that look and a glance at his crotch confirmed it. The imprint of his cock was prominent as it pushed against the material. “Looks like everyone is gone.” Floyd said. His eyes looking out over the farm. “Yes, I am by myself for at least the next few days.” She replied in an...
“Well, hell,” Thea said as she wiped the beads of perspiration from her face. “I guess ‘spring’ is here, huh?” “Yeah. It’s supposed to be cooler at higher elevation,” I replied. We took a few minutes in the shade by the rocks before rejoining our boyfriends. The four of us had driven up into the pass to hike. According to the weather report, the last coolness of a fading winter was supposed to continue through mid-week, but they were wrong. Actually, from our view from Eagle Point, where we’d...
Motherless.com! What an original name for a porn site, don't you think? The title doesn't fuck around: your mother would never allow you to watch the kind of filth they’ve got on tap. They pride themselves on being a moral-free zone for sick fucks, where you can find damn near anything. I’m talking about desperate chicks fucking anything that resembles a dick and crazy bitches literally eating shit. When you’re done fapping to the weird vids, you can even find "normal" porno to pass the time....
Free Porn Tube SitesAh, motherless, here we are again. A site known for offering such a variety, that no matter how fucked up your needs are, there is a high chance that you will fulfill them here. However, I am not here to blab about the site in general; I am here to talk about one particular category, interracial. As for those who want to know more about the site, there is a whole different review on my website instead.As for those who came here to learn more about that interracial lovemaking, I got your back....
Interracial Porn SitesPermission is given to do whatever you want with this story, I'm not picky. Fair warning before reading, when I write stories I'm a writer, and a bad one at that. I am not a businessman, lawyer, doctor, theologian or hair care expert. Though I do have a working knowledge of many of these fields, I am an amateur not a professional. So, there is probably a whole bunch of factual errors in this piece. I did what research I could, but the primary goal was to tell a story, not write a...
Theo had been changing into the squirrel too much, he knew that now... as a pulse of heat raced through his body from his groin. He realized that he shouldn't have come to the office.He had been spending most of his days at the squirrel in his home deep in the countryside. Teleworking most of the time, as the squirrel he felt no need for clothes, his heavy furred balls resting between his thighs as his paws raced over the keyboard. The sharp claws on his paws clattering loudly as he typed,...
Fantasy & Sci-FiIt’s time to go to the land of chocolate fountains and golden showers. That’s right. Scat, piss, shit, and every fluid in between. Ever fuck a chick in her ass and freak out when you see that little bit of shit on your dick? Then I’m sorry to say that scat isn’t for you buddy. Were you the only one of your friends that saw two girls one cup and didn’t get grossed out? If so, it’s time to celebrate it! Don’t get pissed off, get pissed on! Scat porn has the craziest, kinkiest chicks and dudes...
Scat Porn SitesI’m not saying anything controversial when I say men love seeing women naked. It’s a fact of life as fundamental as gravity. It’s a force of nature that cannot be stopped by beast, man, or God. It’s an eternal truth and a divine mandate. As sure as the sun will rise, men will attempt to view as many women naked as they possibly can. Any man not doing so is either a sad or a gay one.This means that any woman a man sees regularly is mentally stripped down during every interaction. If any women...
The Fappening‘To me it’s not really a green. When I think green, I think of grass. That’s more like lemonade color.’ Erica’s nose was far too close to the glasses for my taste. Pouring the nearly clear absinthe over the rough-cut, cane-sugar cubes I favor, I tapped my spoon for a second to get her to back up. I wished I had my full setup here like I have at home, my Absinthe fountains water drippers are missed when I began to try and slowly pour water over the sugar cube. ‘Don’t you light it on fire?’ she...
Although thoughts of Erica made it difficult for George to concentrate for the remainder of the afternoon, he finally finished the tax return forms that he was working on for Allison Callow. He'd called her to say they were finished and she'd offered to come around and pick them up. George, wanting to spend his time thinking about the work for Erica, put her off. "No," he said, "don't worry. I'll post them." Allison had seemed disappointed for some reason but George didn't really...
Have you ever heard about a wonderful site called “Motherless”? I have a feeling that was a dumb question, of course, you fucking have. Well, I am here to talk about Motherless, but I shall also pay special attention to their Arab category. If you think Arabian sluts are hot, well you are in for a tasty treat, believe me.First, I should probably warn you that the name of this place comes from the fact that their content might be a bit too hardcore or questionable for some of you. Back in the...
Arab Porn SitesFuck yeah, life’s a bitch! So here I am, awake at 3:45 AM, after dreaming I was fucking this freaking hot MILF neighbor with heavy boobs, a flat tummy, a nice bubble butt, and sexy long legs. It was all hot and steamy, up until when she was sucking me off and just as I was about to obliterate her cute face with hot cum canon, my dream cut right off and I woke up with a tent on my pajamas.That dream ain’t coming back, but damn it! I sure gotta cum, so I boot up my laptop and type “cum facial” in...
Facial Cumshot Porn SitesUnd draußen schallte wieder Punkmusik aus dem Ghettoblaster – von der Eisenbahnunterführung bis zu seinem Haus! Punks und Skater hingen da ab. Das war diese Art von Jugendlichen, die ihren Eltern das Leben schwer macht , die von Arbeit nichts hielten, sich an keine Regeln hielten, ständig auf Party machten. Die soffen viel zu viel und kotzten dann in irgendeine Ecke. Denen bedeutete doch nichts und niemand etwas. Wahrscheinlich nahmen sie auch Drogen und trieben weiß-Gott-was mit...
BDSMMotherless is the mother of all porn sites. Motherless has no conscience or moral guide. Motherless will show you the stuff that all other porn sites are afraid to put up. Motherless will do this for free. This is seriously one of the nastiest and raunchiest sites out there and Motherless/Fetish is perhaps one of the dirtiest places on the web that are well within reach. Sure you can scan the dark web and find something even more naughty or puzzlingly gross, but why do that when you’ve got...
Fetish Porn SitesAbsinthe 2: The Absinthe of Malice By Morpheus The flight from Seattle to Boston had been extremely long and uncomfortable, even with the two hour delay in Chicago where I got to stretch my legs and change flights. My book had given me something to do during the countless hours in the air, though admittedly, Collin had been my largest savior from boredom. The two of us had ended up talking for over half the flight, and by the time we finally landed, I was even starting to consider...
After tea on the Friday evening Thelma stopped me as I was going into upstairs to my room. Her eyes looked wild and her breathing was heavy. “I’m going to a party,” She said in a low voice, “do you want to watch me getting undressed?” I nodded like a puppet. “Wait in my room…I’ll be up in five minutes.” I skipped up the stairs two at a time! I nervously let myself into my sister’s bedroom. I’d been in many times before – borrowing her dirty knickers and stuff to use...
Harry and Rob sat in the local pub in their usual spot in the corner by themselves. They were having a discussion about what to do with Ethel. Rob has been adamant that he wants to hang Ethel by her ankles and butcher her. Harry strongly disagrees with him. Harry is convinced that if he talks to Ethel he can persuade her not to go to the authorities and they will be able to use her the same way the other men. Rob agrees to try Harry's way first but he says" if she wants to argue I'm going to...
kEthel sat with her tits nailed to the work table. Her tits were swollen to twice their normal size from the beating they had received from Harry and Rob and the axe handle. Ethel sobbed both from the pain and the feeling of despair and hopelessness. She knew she would not be able to sweet talk the men into letting her go without anymore abuse. Harry and Rob arrived and again Ethel begged and pleaded with them to let her go. The men laughed and told her they still had a few more things they...
Note : This story is completely fictional!In nineteen forty six Thelma Lou Anderson was married with three kids. Linda was the oldest. She was sixteen. Guy and George was ten and Guy seven. Thelma owned a beauty shop in Kansas City. She suspected her husband Lawerance was cheating on her again. She followed him one day when he thought she was at work and saw him go into a house. A woman opened the door and he went in. That was all the proof she needed. She went home and packed her suitcase and...
IncestThelma was 22 and like all of the young women at that time was still living at home with me and our parents in rural Kent; even though she had a good job in local Department Store. I was 15 and had just left school. The summer of 1965 was particularly fine so it wasn’t uncommon for me to sit around our secluded garden reading a Detective novel when my parents were at work. The difference today was that Thelma was on the first day of her annual holidays and had joined me wearing a very...
Ethel hung by her wrists while Harry and Rob left to get some rest. She nodded off from time to time but the fog of her mind cleared she realized that other than when they punched her she actually enjoyed the way they that fucked her so hard and so brutally. She enjoyed the helpless feeling as they ravaged her body. She believed that she could talk to the two men and they would release her without too much more abuse. She was wrong.As Harry and Rob drove back out to the warehouse they talked...
Ethel hated her name. She was born during the tenure of I Love Lucy. The beloved Ethel Mertz from the television show was the bane of the real life Ethel's existence. There were the jokes about her having to marry Fred. There was only one Fred in her high school class. He wasn't her type; not even if he was the last man on earth. Ethel was every bit the epitome of her name. At five feet even her looks, dress and vocabulary mimicked the character she despised. Although she fought to break the...
Ethel's Pa was telling a story. "A man comes into the garage wanting a new horn for his Dodge. The old bulb was torn. Well, we have horns; but they don't fit his brackets..." "What did he want with a horn?" Ma asked. "Dodge cars don't need them. They have 'Dodge, Brothers' written clearly on the front." "Oh, Nellie," Pa said, but -- at least -- he dropped the story. Ethel couldn't decide which was worse, Ma's jokes or Pa's stories. Pa was fascinated by anything mechanical,...
Damn Katherine and her classy fashion sense... Once again my Mother-in-law had a new skirt suit which would work for brunch, mother-of-the-bride or some other fancy occasion, it was simply lovely. Tonight was one of those other occasions. The suit was perfect for the work awards dinner that my wife Veronica has dragged me too. Katherine, on the other hand, who was looking just so, was all too happy to attend. Katherine's suit is simply irresistible to me. The color, the style,...
Let me say right up front that Gunther was definitely not a young man.I knew he had been around the Santa operation at the North Pole long before I arrived with my bright ideas for cost reduction. I was called in to promote increased toy production by the easily distracted Elves. Those little imps preferred being silly rather than busy little workers focused on their quotas like dedicated employees. As a small-sized human male, I was able to relate easily to the female Elves because they liked...
Fantasy & Sci-FiStories from the oops files SCHOOL DAZE -I was swapping spit with Jane Hafner, in the back of the library, when the librarian Miss Fluke grabbed me by my ear. She spouted out, "Mr. Holland, I will not put up with necking in my library! "Miss Hafner you have earned a day of detention, Mr. Holland you can stay on detention the rest of the week." -I responded, "I can't, I have basketball practice. After all, the big game is Saturday night, and if we win that, it's the state...
from my supernatural~romantic novel set in Regency England from the diary of Betsy Corning, Darlington, England, September 1815 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am undone! I have given into temptation and trod the left-hand path. I did not tarry there long, I yet have a semblance of a conscience. But little good will it do me – I will be punished for it sooner or later. But oh, should any ladies read this, perhaps you, at least, will understand what provocation I had endured and grant me some...
When we entered the dining salon, all conversation stopped. I had changed from my travel clothes earlier, but was still in black. Esther was in a peach colored evening gown. As I said before, she was ravishing. Martha and Hatty walked behind us in their evening gowns. It was plain that everyone wondered who this girl was with the Royal Executioner and the Guild Master for companions. Certainly most of the apprentices and the other Guild members had not met, or been introduced to Esther. None...
“Are the statements, that the Lord Executioner made, true?” the Village Chief demanded sternly. “Yes, Un ... Uncle,” the young man finally answered very quietly. “A week in the stocks,” the Village Chief pronounced, “and the same for those two friends of yours.” The Village Chief then turned to me to apologize. “I am sorry I doubted you, Lord Executioner. It would appear that I need to pay closer attention to what is going on with the workers in the fields.” “An excellent idea,” I replied,...
"Language Theresa!" "But Mrs. Bradshaw, I only said..." "Hush Theresa, I will not have such rude vernacular spoken in my boarding house! Also, kindly remove your elbows from the tabletop. More over, the fork was placed on the left side of your plate for a specific reason." Theresa blushed as she looked around at the other five girls, some of them putting on airs. "I never ate before with my left hand Mrs. Bradshaw." "You are a student now in the most prestigious Ladies College in...
Esther III ? by: TamarainRubber Even though we knew we were going to be late for Lisa's party, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. For the next hour or so we grabbed each other like wild cats in heat. Her breasts heaving and her lungs gasping for oxygen, Esther still found the energy to warn me not to cum. At some point she did pull my cock out from behind my rubber bloomers and shoved every inch into her mouth. The clothes she had dressed me in only made me harder and,...
The next day I was in full Katherine mode from the moment I unlocked her door. I greeted Sunshine just like Katherine did, using the same tone of voice and gestures. Of course Sunshine reacted just she would with her female owner. As soon as I took her for a short walk and fed her, I went straight to my bedroom, well after the prior day I felt so much more comfortable there, I wanted it to be my bedroom. I took a shower and shaved everything again. I didn't know how I was going to...
Hope you like Esther's latest installment! ESTHER FOUR By TamarainRubber I obediently followed Esther down the long narrow hallway that led into an enormous room filled with the sounds of clinking glasses, soft whispers and a bevy of leather-clad women and men dolled up as maids, rubber babies, and crossdressing sluts like me. Strangely enough (and very much to my pleasure), there was little if any evidence of the S&M parties I had only read about, but never...
The front door opened and again Frank came in, a little less dramatically than the day before but no less intimidating to me as I felt timid and weak dressed in my mother-in-laws things. Frank was half expecting me to be dressed as my normal slouchy male self, ready to put a stop to all this, but he was happy when he saw I didn't have the fortitude to do that. He actually smiled at me, "There's my little wife. That dress looks nice on you." I smiled back not knowing what to do, it...
Caroline dumped her books so loudly on the table that it caused Mike to look up momentarily from his laptop.“Hi, Caroline, I take it the tutorial didn’t go so well?”Caroline slumped onto the chair opposite him.“The pompous bitch basically told me to start again.”“Look I know nothing about art, I don’t even know what I like, but I do know that you know your stuff. Why don’t I get you a drink and we can talk about something else.”As Mike placed the two pints of beer down on the table, Caroline...
Fantasy & Sci-FiEsther sat on the side of the road, freezing, she feared that if she didn't find a place to stay soon, she probably freeze to death.Lately life had been pretty fucked up for Esther, both her parents had die before she could barley talk, and this year she had run away, because her foster parents were abusive.She had no one now, and was stranded on the side of the road. Esther picked herself off of the ground and started walking again, until a huge house came in sight. "Warmth." She said, she was...
When Esther had woken up the next morning laying next to Romeo, she almost freaked out, but the all of the memories from the night before flooded into her brain."Oh god." She sat up and looked at Romeo's sleeping figure next to her, his teal hair was tossed about the pillow, and he chest heaved up and down, Damn he is so hot, she thought, I acted kind of crazy last night, her face burned, ugh, what the fuck was wrong with her these days? She felt Romeo's body shift a little and her heart sped...
Esther II By TamarainRubber I had found the woman I had been dreaming about, hoping she would be my lover for years to come. Esther was the first real lady I had encountered who actually seemed to be honest about wanting to share my passions. I prayed that I would not be disappointed. From how she reacted, I didn't think I would be, but I was the planet's biggest skeptic. For the past four hours, Esther made me try on an incredibly sexy collection of female fetish wear that...
Chapter 1 – The Birth of a Goddess Zeke cracked his knuckles and spread out his fingers. They touched the black glass in front of him and the desk lit up. A white keyboard appeared and he started to type on the touchscreen desktop. His fingers bounced around the screen, typing across the keyboard of light. You see, Zeke was a genius beyond his years. He was currently eighteen and in his second year of college. His masterful mind crossed with a youth of video games made him into one of the...