Emergency Sex free porn video

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This is the true story of george phillips of meridian, mississippi, who was going up to bed when his wife told him that he´d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked “is someone in your house?” and he said no, but explained the situation. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, “okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“hello i just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don´t have to worry about them now cause i´ve just shot them all.”

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an armed response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the phillips´ residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to george: “i thought you said that you´d shot them!”

George said, “i thought you said there was nobody available!”

Larger breasts trick

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

The husband comes up with a suggestion. “if you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “how long will this take?” She asks.

“they’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

The wife stops. “why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”

The husband shrugs. “why not, it worked for your ass, didn´t it?” :cumbuddy:

Grandma loves oranges

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old grandma. The young girl became frantic.

Sure enough, grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, “what are you lining up for dear?” not willing to let grandma in on her secret, the young girl said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

“mmmm, sounds lovely,” said grandma, “i think i´ll have some myself,” she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to grandma at the end of the line, he was bewildered. “but, you´re so old, how do you do it?”

Grandma replied,” oh, it´s quite easy sonny, i just remove my dentures and suck ´em dry.” :cumbuddy:

The postcard from italy

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to italy and have the baby there. “but how will i let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “just send me a postcard and write ´spaghetti´ on the back. I´ll take care of expenses.” not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor´s wife called him at the office and explained, “dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from europe, and i don´t understand what it means.” the doctor said, “just wait until i get home and i will explain it to you.” later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the er. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, “´spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti – two with sausage and meatballs, two without.´” :cumbuddy: mail me at

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Hi friends, main aap sab se apni story share karne jaa raha hun sabse pahle main apna intro de deta hun mera naam rahul hai aur main up k ek jile ka rahne wala hun mera fig.fit body hai mere land ka size 6.5 hai….. apko mujhe mail karna ho to is mail id pe main milunga apke mail ka main wait karunga… Ab jyada time naa lete hue main story pe aata hun meri ek door ki relative mein arpita naam ki sister thi uske ghar mera aana jaana bahut kam hota tha… Arpita k baare mein bata dun wo real mein...

3 years ago
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Sleep sexing

I am Mr. Sex Maniac (real name concealed). Let me not create boredom by giving detailed introductions about myself. I know the purpose why you have opened this story. Let me talk it out straight. This incident happened when I was around 25 years. I was working at an MNC where I met one extra-ordinary and extremely good-looking girl called Sridevi aged 27. We were working in the same department and hence got introduced to each other. She got transferred from our Mumbai branch to Chennai branch....

3 years ago
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a straight heterosexual

I am white male 45+ and have always been a straight heterosexual in my life. I have been divorced two times and it was after my last divorce I knew being with women was not working out and not in my future. I always knew my dick was small and not even average for a white male. When hard it only grows to 5 inches; my last wife Roen called it my Dicklit, she said your Penis is bigger then a Clit, but it’s to small to be a dick, and no way is it near being a Cock. (Then she left me for...

4 years ago
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My first Transexual

Back in the mid-1980s, I was newly divorced, beginning to explore my bisexual interests, and very, very horny. I had seen some TV film loops in adult bookstores (usually while getting my cock sucked through a gloryhole), had bought and enjoyed TV stroke books, and had done a little crossdressing in panties. I loved the silky feel, and enjoyed fucking my ass with a small dildo while watching TV porn videos in my living room. I was on a business trip to San Jose CA, just down the road from...

1 year ago
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Fooled Into Love by a Beautiful Transexual

A fictional, steamy love story about a Man’s first experience with a Shemale... a real take charge kinda girl!Maria Lopez was an absolutely stunning 23 yr old Puerto Rican Goddess. I remember the first time I laid eyes on her, bent over inside her hatchback Toyota, pulling out a hanging fern plant to carry inside the duplex. My duplex! This stunning little thang was going to be my new neighbor? Holy Crap!! Damn! Look at that ass! She wore tight jeans, knee high suede leather, high heeled boots,...

1 year ago
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How I became a Transexual

I was driving a different way home after work and noticed a kind of sleazy looking sex shop. Not really wanting to go home yet, I decided to stop, it had been awhile since I'd had sex and was horny. I went in and was browsing around the movies section when I noticed there were doors in the back. I went in and opened one up and saw that there was a screen on the back wall and small seat. I went up to the front counter and asked the older gentleman behind the counter how it worked. I paid him and...

She Males
1 year ago
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Jack Jill his first time with a transexual

Jack and Jill meet It was when I went to the patio to enjoy a cigar after dinner that we met. On the road for business, I found a decent bar and grill near my hotel where I was welcome to enjoy a fine smoke. I had dinner and then moved outside for a relaxing smoke in the cool weather. I lighted a Churchill-sized stick and after a few minutes of solitude, an exotic looking brunette spoke from just behind and to the side of me. “I love the smell of a fine cigar,” she said in a sultry voice that...

She Males
2 years ago
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A different kind of cybersex

A futurist IT scientist geek friend of mine, Obi-Wan, installed his latest test invention on my laptop at home. It worked with the on-board camera, lots of extra GHz’s and a chat room buddy on the other side. The details were still very sketchy and he warned me to be careful where and how I used it. It would put me in serious danger if I wasn’t careful. He showed me how to operate it and how to get back. I should always have the small gadget on my person for it to work. “Oh, yes,” he said....

3 years ago
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wild cybersex

You: how r u?Stranger: good and you??You: im fine thanksStranger: welcomeYou: asl?Stranger: 19 f new yorkYou: 22/m/montrealStranger: coolYou: what do you look like?Stranger: i am 5'5" thin black hair blue eyes siz D bra you??You: im 6f1 145 lbs blue/green/gray eyes brown hair slim athletic fit 6 pack a a thick 8 incher ;)Stranger: nice :)You: you sound hot too :)Stranger: thanksYou: what r u wearing babeStranger: i am wearing a cute zebra print halter top with a short black skirt and high heels...

3 years ago
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Cybersex

i would love to be sitting on ur knee right now...all im wearing is a black bra and knickers n im playing with my tits, rubbing my nipples and making them really hard... im moving my hand down over my stomach and down ....ive slipped my hand inside my knickers........... ,my pussy is nice and wet n im slowly rubbing my clit thinking about ur hard cock. i want u right here right now i want ur hard cock in my mouth n i want ur hands on my body feeling ur way and exploring EVERY part of me .........

1 year ago
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Alyssas sexperiment

Another hand gave him a needle filled with a liquid. He slid the needle deep into her breast through her nipple. She screamed as the liquid spread fire through her breast. Then he repeated the process on her other breast. She whimpered as he was handed a third syringe that entered her vagina through her clit. Then he inserted a fourth syringe into her anus. Her whole body burned as she screamed in agony but thankfully it did not last long. She watched as he pinched each nipple and it squirted...

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