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Bj?rk Gudmundsd?ttir Fan Gift Day : Faked IQ free porn video
Björk Gudmundsdóttir fan gift day: faked IQ
After shared reflexion, Björk came to the conclusionthat her new "fan gift day" could be about something else than sex. Sex remindthe best thing, the one thing that drive her nuts and make her think, but there'smore to life than this. "Who knows, maybe some people care about my thoughts...",suggest to herself a deliriously naive Björk.
Inquiries from fans for the first edition of the "fan giftday" are rapidly flying in the Office of Elektra records. Most are too ridiculousto even be considerate : "I would like Björk to marry me!", "I want Björkto collaborate with Micheal Jackson", "What about a porno movie soundtrackfor a movie in which she plays a bimbo singer?", "Björk in playboy underthe title 'A pixie that just want to be a pussy!' ", "Björk should doan album all by herself", etc.
Thinking of giving up, Björk team is starting to receivemore interesting, realistic suggestions and wishes : " I would be happy ifBjörk accepted to act like a 2 years old for a whole year. Seeing my favouriteicelandic singer limited to her child side would make me love her even more!It's what she does best, no?, "My fav singer exposing her personal diary ormost private thoughts for several hours, in a series of features would be nice.,Doing an album in collaboration with me. I just bought these music softwares.Anybody can use them.", "Limit yourself to singing children music written forby real musicians", "Let your instinct control your mind. My inquiry is abstract,but i'm sure you know what i mean. You're almost there anyway..", "Realiseyour fans music ideas", "Show your fans what you've got in the head. You'rea strong, independant woman who have a lot of new ideas? Then, your IQ is probablyreally big! Several fans signed this paper to see Björk take several tests.The results should be sent to all the postal adresses bellow. We expect thebest results, nothing less. Björk is a genius!"
The last letter was the choice. Close second was the oneyear contract limiting the small woman to the intellect of 2 years old. Björkherself, really loved the idea of being infantilised. Isn't that ironic?
Soon, the most respected specialists were hired to analysethe way Björk's intellect worked. Several new innovative technologieswere used. Taking care of impossible tasks like evaluating the level of creativity,concentration in the best possible situations, these techniques could reallynailed down the quality of Björk most talked about, but little known cells.
The regular IQ tests, were then used as a back up tool,just in case something went wrong with the hi-tech ressources. Taking all thetests, answering all types of questions about all human discoveries, Björkreally did it all to please her fans.
Björk brain
After several delays dominated by heavy doubts, all of thescientists came to the conclusion that the final results were ready and impossibleto deny. Björk was invited to look at them. Unconfortable, confused, thecast of the labo looked at a smiling Björk with scared, deeply seriouseyes. "Sooo....Björk? Ugh! Ugh! Weeee have created a com...pl...ee...tpro...ugh! ugh! analyse of your brain. Here-it-is" ; then the malaise of theintelligentsia caused by the extreme truths was liberated with a video...
"Björk's brain is a mistake of nature! Everything aboutit is wrong!! The blood circulation throught the cells is painfully slow. Thepaths taken by any kind of information in this brain are overly complicated,long and completly irregulars ; nothing even make sens about them. The spacebetween the cells is so thin that it often block the blood and create deepand expansive (getting worst with the age) thought interruptions. These interruptionsare also encouraged by a natural lack of electrical flow in the brain. Allhuman brains got a minimal set of features like a steady electrical flow, cellsof a certain size, regular activation of all parts in the brain, a pro-activefrontal lobe, and a superior overall weight. Björk's brain doesn't haveany of these features!! Instead, it work by accident. Occasional electricalshocks provocate some kind of thought that the subject can't really be awareof. Uneven cells (some are too broken to work, others are half-functional,but most are just plain absent) can allow a few parts of the brain to work.It's why several Björk's brain sections have never been activated andnever will be. On a certain level, all of these problems could be covered bya superior frontal lobe capacity. Unfortunatly, the frontal lobe examinated(in all kinds of activities), is rarely activated and when it is, it's accidental,totally random. The worst caracteristics are related to the brain weight whichis much lighter than normal human brains. Near the status of a gorilla intellect,Björk is obviously "the dumbest human being on earth." The fact that thiswoman is able to talk and read is some wonder! Somehow, Björk was ableto push her "habilities" to the maximum."
Completly pissed off, angry and out of control, Björkscreamed the loudest way possible, like a wild gorilla, to show her frustrations."Yougot to have the worst jokes ever in your field!!" Call me when you have somethingto tell me...", she replicated to people so convinced of their studies thatthey just couldn't even think seriously of calling back Björk ; talkingto this "person" was not serious anymore, for any rational human being.
To calm her down, friends directed her to toward the IQtests, the old fashion tools.
For the first test, based on 10 mathematics questions, 10sciences questions, 7 langages questions and 3 general knowledge questions,Björk got 0/30. For the second test, based on 5 mathematics questions,10 sciences questions, 10 langages questions and 5 general knowledge questions,Björk got 0/30. For the third, test, based on opened, creative questions,Björk was penalised for writting too much incoherent giberish, and endedup at -30/30. It was a new low for this exercise given to young childrens forbasic knowledge evaluation. The average for this test was 20/30. For a fourthtest, based on general logic, Björk was described as having "no logicat all", a status that the test creators only added to complete the "perfectlylogic" grade! And it goes on...
Björk brain?
Thinking of an organised manipulation, Björk calledup for new examinations of her intellect, by other people, with the previously,voluntarary avoided values for "concentration", "creativity" and the new option "socialstatus according to your brain quality". All IQ tests were avoided this time.Björk wouldn't want to go through all this work again. So sure that thenext results would be the "good ones", Björk accepted to send the soon-to-comestatistics about her mind to her fans.
"Björk's brain got the most inferior quality for ahuman being. It can barely handle education, any sort of intellectual work,thinking with an obvious direction. Switched on and off like a bad electricalinstallation, Björk's brain is always unsure, painfully slow and prettyuseless. Like the primitives, monkeys and gorillas, Björk is a curious,intriguing creature, but "it" share only a few things with real evolved humans.The thing that make it talk and read is the nature of the active cells. Thething that make it lack any sens of rythm and physical hability, confort (Björkis known for touching herself almost continuously like she's been giving herbody for the first time and is unsure whether or not it fits : http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=1947),out of goofy walk and dance, is the damaged cells. These same cells are healtyin most animals heads. Somehow, Björk is smarter than most animals. Somehow,she is dumber. Her concentration is the one of a senil goldfish ("Shecan't sit still. She has the attention span of a senil goldfish." alreadyrecognised a hotpress journalist). Her creativity can only be imitation. Withthis brain quality, the subject should be retrograded to a domestic pet. Westrongly recommend, that the subject is keep caged in the labo for furtherscience developpements : Björk might be the first known case of humandevolution."
Destroyed, just like her friends of the past and fans ofthe past by the news, Björk nearly got a nervous breakdown. Then, sheheard that the first examinations and all the IQ tests results have been publishedby Icelandic governement in newspapers. "We've been convinced by argumentsof several specialists : the world most retarded human lifeform (it just can'tbe called a person anymore) is icelandic and is a celebrity! It can look likenegative press for our country, but it's not. Björk can make a great freakof nature. This thing will attract several tourists and make Icelandic famous!",written out the president of Iceland.
Too dumb to notice that you fake it
Hiding herself to keep people from capturing the nut case,Björk rapidly lose all her fans, friends. It became a fact of life thatBjörk was a laughable curiosity. So much that Björk herself slowlystarted to think that it might be true : "The fact that i don't realise it,only prove it."
Years later, now sure of the exceptional, abnormal low IQthat guide her, Björk figure out something for the first time in her entirelife : she've been totally dominated by her smart friends. Her IQ has beenfaked, built from A to Z. It took the medical approach to break the illusion.
Björk now remember real interventions of her intellectin the past. It's the opposite of the famous Björk : "My lovers arefriends before all. Friends I can sleep with from time to time. I have neverasked myself too many questions." (lesinrockuptibles ) , "If a doctorwould measure me, he would think I would have to have sex three times a day." (detailsof 1995), "Luckily I'm so stupid that I don't realise why. The only wayI can explain it is that I was in the right place at the right time." (smashhits), "Don'tblame me, I'm just an idiot foreigner." ( dotmusic ), "I'd be lyingif I wouldn't admit that I realized in a lot of things I'm a bit, sort of,stupid and slow. And it takes me about, kind of like, 10 years later than myfellow girlfriends in, kind of like...finding out about certain things, and...Iwould basicly say that, you know, I'm a bit, sort of stupid and a bit sortof slow, you know, and... I think it's lot to do with my...inability to..takein and learn about things with my brain. I kind of have to do it with my senses,is kind of all I got, really. And when you do things like that it takes ages,you know. And I, for example #like#, no way I can drive a car. I had a carfor one year and I think I crashed it, sort of…twice a month. And it'sjust to clever for me, you know, it's got no logic for me ." (swedishtv)
Björk suddenly remember the recent deterioration of her brain, after amemory blockage during a few years (the thought interruptions problem is gettingworst with the age) :
"And your reading just goes down the toilet. You startoff reading highly spiritual, good-for-the-brain things and by the end I'mjust reading about fucking and sex orgies." (Q, 1994), "You can havelike a sex orgy with dogs." ( sodamag), "It's not meant to be a strife,it's not meant to be a struggle uphill you're trying too hard, surrender, giveyourself in, you're trying too hard, you're trying too hard [...], it's warmernow lean into it, unfold in a generous way, surrender, surrender, undo" (Björk "Undo",from "Vespertine" - 2001), "i am strong in his hands, i am beyondme, on my own i'm human, and i do faults [...], i turn myself in, i give myselfup, volunteer, you own me : i'm yours, you have to trust it, i'm eternallyyours, all that i gave them, i gave to you, so needy of comfort, but too rawto be embraced, undo this privacy, and put me in my place." (Björk "GenerousPalmstroke", from Vespertine - 2001) .
True Björk = brainless bimbo
All of her fans of the past don't even remember the nameBjörk when the animal decide to reinvent itself as the "brainless bimbosinger". Happy with the commercial sucess, it can't see that all the peoplethat hated the previously-thought human for so long are laughing at the freak.Doing everything in their power to provocate Björk exposure, they transforma sex object into a professionnal humiliating jokes subject for talk-shows.Being seen by law as public domain with no human or even animal rights, Björkis kept naked and humiliated all day long. She's asked questions like these: "So, what do you want to do with your life, brainless?", "Do you know howto think?", "Do you like to be dumb?", "We've heard that you almost acceptedto live like a 2 years old for a whole year. Science tells us now, that itwould be a step forward for you?", "So, you are useless isn't it so?". She'sanswering, smiling and proud of her status : "I dunno anything. I would loveto fuck you now.", "mmm... I dunno anything :)", "Do you think it's good tobe dumb? It would really help me to have your advice. Because, i dunno...", "It'stoo hard to act like a 2 years old. I'm not that evolved :)", Björk thengiggles like the biggest slut, "Yeps!! I'm completly useless :) This is alli know...I can't understand the 101 uses for a Björk videos.This is stupid. Not like me, but...I'm sorry, my brain is dead now."
This document is 100% approved by a senil goldfish attentionspan Björk Gudmundsdóttir :
Copyright © 2003
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