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The Pond of Pristine Spirit by Tegeli CHAPTER 1 "My patience is wearing thin," the sorceress Mesimiya growled. "Say, what you are." The agony from my crushed insides was too much to bear. "A g-girl. I'm a girl." "Finally!" The sorceress sighed and let the painful spell fade. "Looking at you, it is a wonder how that could be so hard to utter." The large mirror revealed my visage perfectly well. Mesimiya had kept me prisoner for months. Destroying my body body with poor victuals hadn't been enough. Her sorcery had also worked to wreck my body. My muscles had faded into soft flesh, and my face had shifted enough to look girly even without the harlot-paints of the Peritians. All hair below my eyes had dropped off, leaving only sensitive skin behind. Any traces of authority had disappeared from my now weak and girly voice. The bones in my body had deformed, until my waist was decidedly narrow and my hips wide enough to survive giving birth. Not that the sorceress had stolen my manhood, even if it seemed small and vulnerable under her cruel administrations. At least she hadn't deigned to force breasts on me, even if the softness of my chest wasn't far from being teats. My hair and face-paint were done in the style of a Peritian whore, and I wore a luxurious gown reaching my feet. Only my adult height revealed that I wasn't a young girl. Unfortunately, what was a perfectly reasonable height among the Yretmi men, was short for Peritians. Even the sorceress towered over me. Mesimiya dragged me to an office, where the Peritian governor-strategist Tsadzir sat, wasting time with papers and ink. In vileness, he was only second to the archfiend, the despot of Peritians himself. "Look, honey," the sorceress cooed. "I brought you a present." "A girl?" He gave me an evaluating look. "No! Can't be. You turned that brat of the late ethnarch into a girl. I thought you tortured him to death months ago." "Oh, I've been torturing her." The sorceress smiled coyly. "But not in the ways you might think. Lift your skirt, girl." I kneeled and lifted the hem to show my bare groin. If embarrassment could be lethal, I'd have turned into dust. Tsadzir recoiled, gasped and laughed. "How amusing! It looks so --should I say-- adorable." My blush must been like the setting sun. Mesimiya patted my head. "And she is my gift to you, my husband. I know I haven't fulfilled my responsi--" Tsadzir lifted his hand in protest, but the sorceress continued: "No, no, I haven't. I've been travelling too much. And knowing how virile you are, dear, it pains me to leave you unsatisfied for months at a time. But I can't let you take anyone, who might get pregnant, to your bed." "I understand perfectly, my dear wife. So you propose I bugger this princeling?" "Yes. I know your tastes are... flexible. To ensure you caught no diseases--" "You always care about my health!" "Yes. I selected a verifiable virgin for you. I imagine that will add additional gratification. She will know cock before using hers. A fitting punishment for lifting their spears against you, don't you think?" I winced from Tsadzir's laugh. "A man couldn't hope for a better wife! Yes, this gift is delightful." "I didn't geld her, thinking to leave the choice to you." Tsadzir rubbed his shaved chin. "Considerate. I think I will let 'her' keep her stones. Let her know that the potency of Yretmi is impotent in front of Peritians." "Very good, my husband. Should we retire for a thorough farewell?" "We should, my love." They made me watch, as they copulated. Though my mind remained resolutely disgusted, my body betrayed me. It was understandable. The sorceress was lithe, but well-formed in breasts and hips. The governor- strategist had a tall vigorous build and ample equipment. They were as beautiful outwardly, as they were hideous inside their hearts. My treatment was proof of the excess of our Peritian overlords. I should have been a respected hostage. But the Peritians knew nothing of honour. They had executed my father, despite his valour, for the 'crime' of rebelling against tyranny. My uncle the new hetman had been humiliated and forced pay in blood and silver. The punitive taxes had impoverished our land, which had already been devastated by the failed rebellion. The sorceress had mocked me by saying how Yretmi girls would sell their maidenhood for the daily wage of a Peritian labourer. She claimed that we'd be just as prosperous, if we stopped resisting them. But Yretmis would never bend over to mere bribery and comfort. We had pride, which all other subjects of the despot lacked. "Your turn, girl," the sorceress said and stood up. "I'll have to leave now, my husband. I'll try to be back in a few weeks, but who knows how this unrest will turn out." "Goodbye, love." "Goodbye." The sorceress swung her hips as she disappeared out of the door. "Don't just stand there, girl," Tsadzir growled. "Come clean your master." I looked for water and a rag, but the man said: "With your mouth." Revulsion shuddered through me. I refused to move. "If I have to stand, regret will be only a small part of your misery," Tsadzir snarled. The memory of my earlier tortures resurfaced. I jerked forward, and it was too late to stop. I fought against shivers and crawled on top of his legs. His manhood had only lost little of its rigidity. I took its head into my mouth. Immediately I gagged from taste and the shame of it, but struggling against retching I sucked the head clean. The whole manhood was too large to fit into my mouth, so I had to lick his penis like a dog would a bloody bone. After I was finished and thoroughly miserable, the man pulled me to lie next to him. An arm --strong enough to draw the largest war bows-- wrapped around my body, which had been made so frail by foul sorcery. "Now listen, girl. I've been studying your people, in order to govern you better. I know your traditions. That if a man among you is caught receiving from another man, he is exiled, unless he submits to life as a rankless woman. Know that I will end up using your butt. Yet, I am willing to keep it secret, so when you return to your people, you can pretend it never happened. Of course, we both will know. That will be hilarious, yet fitting. The world is a whorehouse, and Peritland is the only man with a working cock." He reached to my groin and wrapped his fingers around my balls. "If you push me too much..." He squeezed hard enough that I had to scream. "I know from experience, what to do with uppity colts." "Please..." I sobbed. "Yes. That's the sort of tone I want to hear from you now on. You will please me." He left me to sob on the bed. I had obeyed so easily, even though Tsadzir wasn't even a sorcerer. But there had been nothing I could have done to resist even his physical prowess. Tsadzir soon had me called to attend him, while he worked with his scribes. Like a child, he was easily amused. He squeezed my butt, and laughed. He groped my chest, called me a sorrily endowed girl, and giggled. When he groped my groin, and found that my cock wasn't entirely limp, he guffawed. The Peritian forced me to sit on his lap, pressing my buttocks against the hardness in his trousers. The servants joined in mocking me. They clearly knew, who I was, and soon through gossip so would the Yretmis. I hoped they'd find their strength and courage again. The sorceress was gone, and we might have had a chance with the unrest near the Peritian capital. But my uncle wasn't half the man my father had been. And now I wasn't even a quarter of man my uncle was. Soon I wouldn't be even that. By lawful tradition, I'd be worse than a woman, one without status of her family or rights in her clan. I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. I had to escape. Even death in the attempt would be better than the loss of all honour. When Tsadzir commanded me to follow him to his chambers, I lifted my skirt and ran. The corridors turned and branched, where to I knew not. Yet I didn't slow down. I ignored the shouts. When a hallway was blocked by courtiers, servants or guards, I turned to another direction. A door was open to the courtyard, which gleamed in the sunlight. I dashed over the threshold, and slammed into a strong arm that appeared in front of me. My ears rang, and I barely noticed falling on my back. "I wondered when you'd find your way here." It was the governor- strategist; a huge shadow against the sun. "Running around like a headless chicken." He leaned down and wrapped a strong hand around my throat. "Will I have to squeeze to get you come easily?" A warrior would have defied the servant of the archfiend to his last breath. I merely whimpered. I didn't resist, as Tsadzir dragged me to his chambers. He had me remove my clothes, until I was in my underwear. The wrap around my chest embarrassed me by creating the perception that I had breasts underneath. His expression was smug, but there was a hint leniency in his smile. He might not punish me, if I pleased him. Should I serve him well, he might grow jealous enough to keep me safe and untouched my other men. One tormentor was more bearable than many. When he kissed me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and answered as eagerly as I could pretend. Large hands groped my butt, and the fingers bit into the soft flesh. I fought against whimpering, as he spread the cheeks and let a finger roam into my pucker. The sorceress' poisons had stopped my stomach from working properly. It had left the purpose for my perpetually clean rear hole more than obvious. His finger spread my pucker, which sent a shiver through me. I was painfully aware of how the fear and mistaken thoughts of intercourse had lifted my member into readiness. The man let go off me, and growled: "Stand on the stool." I continued to obey, even when he placed sturdy rope through a loop in the ceiling and tied it around my wrists. I merely sobbed, as he lifted the rope until my arms were above my head. He ordered me to bend my knees to lower myself as far as I could, and adjusted the length until my hips were a little lower than his. The intention was clear enough, but I fought against bawling. Tsadzir kicked the stool from under me. For a moment of panic and agony I thought my shoulders would dislodge. Yet my toes found respite on a lower stool that replaced the previous. By standing on my toes, most of my weight wasn't tortuously on my wrists. Despite the pain, my body refused to acknowledge the horror. My small penis was pointed rigidly upwards. Adding to my mortification, Tsadzir undressed to reveal that he was similarly armed, if with a noticeably larger weapon. Peritian sorcery could change bodies like it had done mine, yet that knowledge didn't save me from the sense of inadequacy. "I apologize." The man grinned. "I would have made this more comfortable for you, but you had to show disrespect to my hospitality. Say you are sorry." "I'm sorry, lord!" "Good. Feel free to enjoy the following then." He walked to behind me. I tried to turn, but the motion twisted my wrists. The stool disappeared from below my toes. Pain in my shoulders and wrists screamed with me. Strong hands clutched my legs and lifted me up. I should have fought back, but if I struggled, he'd leave me hanging forever. The man was strong, and I didn't weigh much. With ease, he lifted my legs above my hips and let my upper body lean on him. I yelped, as the slimy rod touched my pucker. "Now, ask for it, girl," Tsadzir growled. "Otherwise I will let you hang there until your shoulder pop off their places." "I can't!" I wailed. "Yes you can. Don't worry about what your countrymen think. They will never know. Fighting back is useless; you will give in eventually. Just like your people did." My father hadn't. He had fought until his capture and execution. But I wasn't him. A real man would have preferred death to dishonour. He'd welcome the pain to show his valour. A true man like that, he'd never have admitted he was a girl just to escape agony. "Please..." I whined. "Don't drop me, lord. I ask for it." "Good. Your whorish body was already screaming for my intrusion." He lowered me. The pressure against my hole turned into pain. I screamed with a pitiful girly voice. My pucker clutched tight, no matter how much I tried to relax, yet it wasn't strong enough to hold my weight. Slowly the penis slid into me. Even if the stretching didn't deform my hole permanently, my mind and soul wouldn't stay unchanged. For a brief moment, the pressure inside me had radiated into my groin. That had been odd, but the vile sensation was pleasurable despite the pain. I would never be able to ignore that my body had enjoyed even a part of the intrusion. "The worst is over," the man said not ungently. "By the traditions of your people, you are girl." He chuckled and leaned over my shoulder. "Girls don't have to hate enjoying this." He lifted me and let me down. This time my body offered less resistance. And the strange flash was there against my crotch. He repeated lifting me up a dozen times, until my pucker barely fought back. It only stretched to accommodate him. My whimpers were not from the pain any more. The strong arms began to move be up and down in a steady rhythm. The pressure into my groin didn't have time to dissipate between the thrusts. A tension, disturbingly similar to approaching climax, built into me. A part of me hoped Tsadzir would reach his orgasm soon and save me from the embarrassment, yet that was only a fraction of my mind. If I was doomed to be a girl, I should get to enjoy being a girl. The world was ultimately balanced and fair, or so the wise said. Fortunately Tsadzir was enduring. He wouldn't stop. My whimpers turned into shameful moans, as I approached the distant orgasm. A hard stomach-churning thrust, and the nerves of my lower half slipped from their unnatural knot. The satisfaction was faint, yet there. My penis quivered and spouted its slime in pathetic a show of submission. The man grunted. He stopped to catch his breath and pulled out of me. Warm seed leaked out of my broken-in hole. I should have been mortified. However, my body had demonstrated its love to being used, and I'd never escape my body. Though a sob escaped my throat, it was elated. My toes found the stool again, and Tsadzir untied my wrists. Before I could move, his arm wrapped around my waist. The hand of the other took hold of my still hard member. "What--" I moaned. His grip was iron. A few hard jerked, and the pressure resurfaced. I climaxed again, but this time worse than ever from my own administrations. Strength left my legs. I fell, but Tsadzir lifted me up and carried me to bed. "Girls don't always come properly on their first time." The man smiled. "So I wanted to reward you for taking your punishment gracefully. Did you enjoy it?" My face was warm, but I couldn't lie. I nodded. "Good. Behave well, and I'll make sure you continue to like it." CHAPTER 2 Tsadzir had the virility of a stallion in rut, likely due to a curse by his witch of a wife. He had me often. At times, he was too eager to take me to his chamber and had me pleasure him with my mouth in the office. The taste of his manhood ceased to be detestable, after I understood that his pleasure equalled my comfort. He made sure to let me wash frequently, eat variety of delicious foods and dress in dignified --if womanly-- fashion. He stopped mocking me, and demanded that I was treated with respect by his servants. That was far above, what I would have deserved among my own people. When alone, I sometimes ended up lamenting my defiled state, yet his touch stoked the shameful arousal in me. I presented myself to him willingly enough. He could have taken my body by force, which would only have turned the inevitable act hateful. True to his word, in very non- Peritian fashion, he always endeavoured to leave me satisfied, as long as obeyed. I huddled against Tsadzir's muscular frame, with the consequences of his rough passion trickling out of my sore hole. I had been his entertainment for long while, though I had stopped being anxious about it weeks ago. Increasingly often, he showed me affection even after the intercourse. These moments were brief, so I savoured them, as they were the only moments when I wasn't a trapped piece of meat. "My wife is returning tomorrow." I started. I hadn't thought about what the witch's return would mean to me. "You've been great girl, so I'll make sure you are taken care of." "What do you mean, lord?" I pressed against him. Nobody on in the world would be as kind as he had been to me. Not after what he and his wife had done to me. "I can't keep another woman in my bed, when my wife's around, could I?" My body shivered, but I didn't dare to voice my fears. "But she has been a good girl," Tsadzir argued. The sorceress' smile was a cup of poison. "I'm well pleased that you liked her, but I want her out of your bed." She flicked her long finger into my face. The long nail scraped my cheek. "What I am supposed to do with her, then?" "We can use a girl like her to entertain and clean up after guests." The sorceress pouted. "You don't have any feelings for her?" "Of course not." Tsadzir shook his head. He looked at me and frowned. "I'll make the arrangements." To cry, because my captor wouldn't use me any more, was foolish. Yet that was what I did, when I was taken to my new station in a guest chambers. I started when the door slammed shut. I turned to face the sorceress. "You little vixen," she sneered. "You were supposed to service my husbands carnal needs, not twine him around your finger." "No--" The sorceress squeezed her fist. A cage wrapped around my heart. "Silence. My husband will lose any lingering affections for you soon enough, but I will make sure you'll become unappealing to any man of taste. Of course, I could mutilate you, yet where's the fun in that?" She tried to smile, but managed only a sneer. "Don't worry, you'll get all the prick you ever wished for, as you join our troops on their march to the capital. Sleep well, girl. You won't find much rest after this night." I wailed until my throat was sore. Becoming entertainment to a whole regiment was horrible enough, but the news were also dire for my people. Apparently we had been thoroughly subjugated. I had lost my value as a hostage, and Peritian troops could move away from Yretmi lands. Evening was turning into the night. I curled up in a corner and began to pray. I asked every ancestor, god and spirit, which I knew was benign, to bless our people. If they couldn't save us from Peritians, I pleaded them to at least guard us from the oppressors' wickedness. Despite the arrogance of it, I asked the powers to help me. With pitiful sobs surging through my body, I begged that if I couldn't be saved from my fate, then at least deliver me to a man, who'd treat me as well as Tsadzir had. The night passed in a dizzy haze. I dosed, woke to continue my prayers and fell asleep again. I was startled awake by the door opening into a glow beyond. A man stepped into the room. In his hand was a witch lamp; a vial stuffed with stored candlelight. Based on his clothes and stature, he looked neither like a Peritian or a servant. Still, I huddled into a smaller bundle to avoid his notice. His steps were silent as he intruded into the room. He stopped and whispered: "Hey. I mean no harm. Come out." I stood up, but didn't walk closer. I asked in my language: "Who are you?" "I'm Yretmi, just like you. I'll share the treasure with you, if you tell me, where it is." "What treasure? This is a quest apartment." "Damned... Alright. I'll be leaving then. Please keep quiet." I took a step forward. "Wait! I'm being held prisoner here. Please, save me. Otherwise..." The man hesitated only moment. He took a step and grasped my arm. "Very well. I'll save a damsel to make this incursion a worthwhile one. Keep silent and follow me." He dragged me into the corridor, and we ran. My soft shoes made a din compared to his noiseless step. A shout in the distance turned into muffled clamour. "What's that?" I asked. "The distraction. A bit late, but it will help us escape." We stopped on a window, and the man threw a rope down. "Can you climb?" "Yes." I wasn't sure, but escape was worth the risk of broken ankles. I got down despite my withered strength, and the man followed. We crossed the abandoned perimeter, and with his help I got over the low wall. I let out a giggle. I was free. A horse was tethered nearby. Before I could mount up myself, the man grasped my hips and lifted me as if I was a bag of feathers. He got in the saddle behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist. Presumably he thought I would fall off, riding sideways as I was. The night was losing its power. When we came to the root of high rocky hills, the man jumped off his horse and pulled me down. He unbuckled the saddle, took off the bridle and slapped the horse. It neighed and trotted away. "Don't worry about him." The man placed the saddle on his shoulder. "I stole the horse from near-by. He'll find home, I reckon. Come, lass." There was nowhere else to go, so I followed the man. We climbed some way up, walked between massive stones and found a narrow crack in the mountain. He squeezed through in front me, and we emerged into a tiny valley in between of sheer cliffs. Morning light filtered down from high above and sparkled in a small pool. The man walked to the stone cottage. I hesitated, so he gestured me to follow. "I have some food here." My stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten since the previous afternoon. When I got closer, I froze. In the brightening light I recognized the man as Ksengian, a renowned Yretmi raider. Despite us barely having ever met, he might have recognized me. "What's wrong?" Ksengian asked. "Oh. You fear I might have unscrupulous intentions. Fear not. To me, the honour of all Yretmi maidens is as the honour of my sisters." He made a short but extravagant bow. 'Unscrupulous intentions' hadn't even grossed my mind, so now I was doubly reluctant. Yet I had no place to go, and I really was hungry. Additionally, he hadn't recognized me. I had little choice but to trust him, so I followed him inside. The floor was covered with rich carpets of foreign make. The bed was narrow but the sheets were silk. Gold and silver in jewels and statues filled the walls. The fireplace was framed by a dazzling collection of Peritian swords and bows. "What is this place?" Ksengian grinned. "Hideaway of some holy hermit. The pool outside is a sacred gate, and there's a shrine in top of the mountain. He's long gone though. Very few people know of this place, so I took it as my storage and place of respite. Being so close to the Peritian settlement is a definite advantage for a warrior participating still in the sacred fight." He bowed. "Welcome, lass. I'm Ksengian." I examined his features and tried to see, if he really was the Ksengian I knew. That man had ridden under my father's command. If worse came to pass, he might feel an obligation to me through that bond. The man had the signs of a raider; the heavy tan and marks of bravery in the form scars on his gaunt face. He wasn't as tall as a Peritian, but certainly larger than me. His lean but dangerous frame was ideal for horseback and the rough country. "Do you like, what you see?" he asked. I must have blushed, because my face warmed. Ksengian smirked. "I'll heat up some porridge." After we had eaten, the raider pulled the shutters on the only window and closed the drapes. The room fell into darkness, save for the thin stripes of light around the door. "I need to rest," he said. "The bed is small, but you are welcome to share the warmth." My mind was sluggish and my limbs weary. The carpets were pleasantly soft, but the air was chilly despite the still lingering embers. "I'll sleep on the floor," I said. The man jumped up back from the bed. "No, no! I can't allow that. Use the bed. I will sleep on the floor." That was much too improper. The guest, fed and protected as she was, couldn't demand the bed of the host. "I can't do that!" "An impasse. We must share the bed then. Don't worry. My ability control my urges is the matter of songs." Gingerly, I lay next to him. He pulled large blanket on us. I turned my back towards the man, as despite wearing the dress, I was vulnerable. He wasn't undressed either, so sleeping next to each other should have been perfectly decorous. I had slept among warriors before my capture without any unease. But after the touch of the governor-strategist, such proximity wasn't the same. Ksengian turned towards me. Because the bed really was narrow, I couldn't protest. I closed my eyes, and my mind sunk. CHAPTER 3 A strong arm held my waist. Protected me. The deep calm breathing was a promise of gentle touch. I wasn't in the bed of Tsadzir. The man behind me was Ksengian. He sounded asleep. A rod pressed against my bum through two sets of clothes, and I let out a wheeze. The man startled with a shake, but pulled me against him. "Oh!" His arm didn't rise off me. "I had the most delightful dream, involving you, lass." He fondled my flat belly. "Say, are you taken? If your virtue does not need protection, I wouldn't mind, if we enjoyed ourselves." "No, please..." My own member was rigid from my dream. Foolishly it shivered, assuming it would be receiving attention. His arm rose. "I'm sorry then. I interpreted your desires wrong. But would you give a kiss, before I continue my dream?" Refusing would slight to his honour. Such reluctance would imply that he wasn't good enough for me, despite having saved me. I whimpered: "Alright." He turned me around and pulled me against him. When our lips touched, certain aspects of our groins brushed also. Ksengian jerked up and clambered off the bed. He slammed the window open and stared at me. I bit my jaws together in an attempt to stop my mouth from twisting into a grimace. The raider stood straight and brushed back his dishevelled hair. "I presume that wasn't just a chastity knife." I looked down. "No..." "Do you want to tell me, what is going on?" He frowned, but not with anger. "If not, we can pretend this didn't happen." I sniffed. The worst part of the truth was out already. "I'm Shanatash the late hetman's... son." The worry in his shocked expression gave me the courage to explain, what had happened to me. The words breached the dam inside me, and I even told about my defilement; how I wasn't a man among my clan any more. Wrath twisted Ksengian's face. "Cursed be Peritians. This is why we should continue the fight." His expression mellowed. "Shanatash... I can't take you to your uncle. He has outlawed me, for the 'crime' of daring to make war against our enemy. Pardon my insulting words, but he grovels in front of them so eagerly, he'd surely send you back to the fiends. I can't allow that." I shivered. "In truth, I don't really want to go back to my clan. What future would I have there, even if I was allowed to stay among my people?" Ksengian nodded. "I understand. You can stay here as long as you need." He paused. "If you wish, go bathe in the pool. The water is blessed with warmth through all seasons. Meanwhile, I'll search the trunks in the back for proper clothing for you." Despite the truth having been revealed, I hesitated undressing at the edge of the stone-edged pond. I tested the water with my toe. It was pleasantly warm, like a proper bath back in the Peritian palace. I got out of my gown and quickly dipped myself up to my neck. In the middle, the crystal clear pool sank into lightless depth, so I made sure to keep at the edge. I shut my eyes and relaxed. "Here's some clothes." I startled. Ksengian was standing next to my head. The ripples in the water weren't enough to conceal my body. "Thank you." He nodded and walked back into the house. Putting on the trousers and shirt didn't suddenly give back my masculine confidence. My form made sure that I looked like a girl even in oversized men's clothing. I tied my long hair into a loose ponytail and went inside. Ksengian smiled, but didn't look me in the eye. "I must apologize," he said. "I shouldn't have been so overtly shocked. It's just that I found you rather fetching as a girl." "I... forgive you." If I had been a proper girl, we could have enjoyed that kiss and avoided the whole embarrassing incident. He nodded. "Thank you. Now. We have plenty of food here, so we can stay put until the Peritians stop looking for you. Whatever you decide to do then, I will help you. If for no reason than in honour of your father's memory." "That is magnanimous. I thank you." His offer was more luck than I deserved. Unsure, what to do, I sat on the bed. "What were you searching for in the palace?" Ksengian put down the blade he had been oiling. "Mere rumours. A group of braves planned to storm the palace. I heard from my source inside that the governor-strategist had hidden treasure in the wing you were in. Thus I decided to use the attack as an distraction." He sighed. "I searched all the rooms, and couldn't find anything except you. All things considering, it was an auspicious error on my part." "Yes. Yes it was." I hadn't told him, what the sorceress had planned for me. Even the possibility made me lesser, as if my body was already made merchandise. Despite his cruelty, the governor-strategist had treated me with certain affection, tenderness even. Such implied value wouldn't exist as a pleasure slave for a regiment of Peritian brutes. We passed the time playing a game of board and pieces, which was favoured by the Peritians. I wasn't overly familiar with it. But even I knew that the most important skill was to know, when to sacrifice your pieces, even though they represented the parts of your army. It was telling about the mentality of Peritians that seldom anyone won, before at least half of both 'armies' were destroyed. No mercy. No clemency. No reason. I asked to stop playing after I won with just with my bodyguard intact. What sort of victory was that? My general would go home, and tell the wives of his soldiers that their men are gone, but it was fine, because the enemy's wives were just as miserable. "Where did you learn to play this well?" Ksengian asked. My father had enjoyed the game, and playing it with Tsadzir had spruced up my skills. "That was luck, not skill." The raider wasn't convinced, yet he let it pass. Ksengian went to the tiny kitchen to cook us lunch. He didn't just warm up the ingredients, but did complex procedures, which I didn't understand. I would have been useless as either a house servant or a woman. But I had also ceased to be useful as a man. "The food is read-- What's wrong?" I didn't react. Instead, I kept my hands on my face, and did my best not to humiliate myself by crying. The bed shifted, as the raider sat next to me. Ksengian handed me a bowl with a mouthwatering smell. "You will feel better after eating that," he said. I remained silent through the delicious meal. After we had eaten, Ksengian went to scout outside the valley. I lay down on the soft carpet, next to the struggling fire. The wool of my rough clothes itched my sensitive hairless skin. Like a pampered lady, I had become used to silks and fine linen. I would have to get used to not being a well-kept toy, even though there was little for me to live for. The irritation on my skin grew unbearable. I took of my clothes, walked outside to the pool and dropped into it. The warm water was relaxing and stopped my shivers. I didn't know how to swim, so I could have let myself sink into the endless depths. Admitting, that dishonour was too much to live with, would wash away most of it. But for me that would have been a lie. I hadn't completely hated my time as a captive. I didn't deserve any exoneration. Even now I missed the parts I had enjoyed. That was the vilest deed of the governor-strategist. Though I was free, I yearned for his touch and being cared for by someone stronger than myself. In gowns and face-paint, I had been pretty. Tsadzir had wanted me. So had Ksengian. I got out of the water and fetched my gown. I washed its muddy hem and put it on. The silk was soft on my tender skin. The hem swirled, as I spun around. I let my hair out of its ugly ponytail. Outside the tiny valley, I'd have to be weak, girly and defiled man weighed down by defeat. Perhaps, in the hermit's hideaway, I could be someone of value. Even if Ksengian didn't want me due to my lower half, he might accept me as a house servant. I'd learn to cook, and sew and perhaps even spin wool. I certainly knew how to take care of weapons and armour for a warrior. At the very least, I could definitely clean. I went inside, and started doing just that. One by one, I took out the carpets for shake the dust off. I used a broom and a moist rag to clean the floor. I took everything from the kitchen for thorough cleaning at the stream, which left the pool. After I was done, the house was noticeably more pleasant. I had been useful. Like a silly girl I smiled wide to myself. "Shanatash?" I froze. I still had the dress on, and now it was all dirty. Ksengian kicked off his boots, walked past me to look me in the eye. "Are you alright?" I opened my mouth like a fish dragged out of its wet home. No lie would be convincing. I lowered my eyes. "You have cleaned the place. Thorough work. I thank you." My sobs broke out. What had I been thinking? I wouldn't seduce anyone through maid-work, or by wearing a dress. Why would I even want it? Of course, I knew the answer. "Look, Shanatash... I have no idea what you are experiencing." He pushed a bundle of flowers into my vision. "A sunny slope had the first blooms of the spring, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Not as you were, when I left, but how you were when you came. And how you are now. Does it insult you, if I consider you as beautiful as these blossoms?" Such a claim swirled in my stomach. It forced my heart beat faster, made my face warm. I lifted my gaze into his smiling face and took the flowers. "Thank you." The flowers had faint but delightful scent. Ksengian leaned forward. I moved my arms from between us, and kissed me. I was crying again. He tried to pull away, but I held his neck. He took the hint, and wrapped his arms around me. After I began to gasp for breath, I let go of him. A shelf had an empty vase, so I put the flowers in it. I didn't turn back to him, but asked: "Do you actually like me?" "Yes." "Even though, you know, what I am?" He hugged me from behind. "I'm not crazy from loneliness, if you meant that. I saved a pretty girl from captivity, and now she has cleaned my house. Why shouldn't I like her?" Ksengian was handsome and renowned. He wouldn't have needed to use force to have many a pretty girl live with him, even as an outlaw. Yet he liked me. I closed my eyes and smiled. That would be a life worth living, for a while. If he ever stopped enjoying my presence, the pool and its merciful depths were only a stone-throw away. "How about you, lass. Do you fancy me?" He lowered his arms to hold my waist. "Yes." I pushed my butt against him, and found his rod ready. He kissed my neck. "I can't help but feel bad at enjoying your body. It's trim appearance. The softness. Even the scent is delightful. Yet, forcing it on you was a crime. Do you enjoy being as you are now?" I remained quiet for several of his deep breaths. I whispered: "If it helps you love me, then yes." Ksengian let go off me and clasped my hand. He guided me to sit on the bed. His other hand remained clasped to mine, and the other guided my head into a long kiss. I started, when he let go off me and stood up. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked. "No, not all. Nevertheless, passion shouldn't be indulged without letting it simmer. Are you hungry?" I was. This time I observed, as Ksengian made food, and asked as many questions as I dared. "Where did you learn to cook?" "It's a long story, involving embarrassing coincidences and a lot of spare time. I will tell you all about it, later." When I returned from cleaning the pans, bowls and utensils, Ksengian presented me with a box. "What is it?" "Peritian paints. For the faces of ladies. It's old, but some of it might still be useable." I must have looked as if touched in the head, with my wide grin. "Thank you." If he gave me such a gift, then he wanted me to use it. I went outside into the sunlight and opened the box. There was a tiny mirror --of perfect Peritian make--, brushes and vials for colour. Unfortunately what little was left of the paints was crusted dry flakes. But the antimony could still be revived with a drop of oil. I applied the black stuff heavily around my eyes and smiled at my reflection. Ksengian was waiting for me the door. "I didn't expect it to make you so happy. I like the eye paint, though. The rest was ruined?" "Unfortunately." "I'll get you some more. And some clothes. You will have to tell me, which sort of you'd like." That would be nice, even if he had to rob some Peritians or turncoats for them. Obviously a girl would love presents. My mood sunk. I wasn't really a girl being treated by her lover. My gaze fell. "You must think I'm a freak for not detesting this." He brushed my cheek. "No. You enjoy this, and I'm elated of your enjoyment. Thus I do not see what should be detestable about this. And if we ever want to, we can set aside and forget everything that happened in this veiled corrie." I would have preferred to set aside everything that happened outside the valley, but I nodded. CHAPTER 4 Ksengian decided to wash himself. I sat on the table, yet despite my resolution not to, I soon peeked from the window. The raider was just undressing, revealing a body of stringy muscle with little softness. He had been on poor victuals, which was understandable after the winter, yet he hadn't yet lost his strength. My gaze wandered to his cock. It wasn't overtly sizeable, though large enough to make me acutely aware of the limited size of my member. I imagined that his would fit easily --and pleasantly-- into me. I had to shift my own, so it wouldn't twist painfully inside my underwear, as it hardened. The raider turned his head towards the house. I hid, but not before a grin had spread on his face. With my face warm, I waited him to re-enter the house. His broad chest and strong arms were bare. The trousers weren't baggy enough to hide his readiness. If I asked his love, it would be giving in truly. Tsadzir had coerced me, at least at first. Yet I needed Ksengian to show that he really cared about me. And the tension inside me needed release. I gestures, as slightly as I could, that he should sit next to me on the bed. He obeyed my wishes, and after a few kisses, I was again lying in front of him. A hand wandered across my gown, until he reached down to my ankle and pulled the hem up. I shivered, as his hand touched my bare leg. He squeezed my thigh and reached higher to pull down my underwear. Instead of unlacing his own trousers, a hand touched my cock. I yelped but didn't move, so Ksengian wrapped his hand around my eager member. I was completely mastered, more than any beast in a harness. With a moment of his hand, Ksengian could make me squeal from either pain or delight. The thumb sink into the tip of the moistened hood and touched the vulnerable head of my prick. The overt sensation made my toes curl and my spine rigid. He kissed my neck. "Have..." I panted. "Have you done this before?" "To a lover? No." Ksengian made me moan with a tiny pull. "I haven't had anyone like you." I gasped as he squeezed me. He whispered: "I love, how you are so hard, yet melt like fresh snow under my touch." I thought up a good answer, because he squeezed me again, I only moaned. "If you want..." My mind froze. A part of me pretended that I could still go back to when things were simple and straightforward, only if I didn't explicitly state my desire. Yet, it wasn't merely my body, which craved his touch. I whimpered: "If you want, you can love me in any way you wish." He fumbled with the laces of his trousers. "Would you enjoy it?" A sticky and warm shaft touched my butt cheek. "Yes," I whispered. The rising need washed away my calmness from the verbal acceptance. Still, deeds were stronger than words. "Stay still." I pushed him on his back and lifted myself on his thighs, with my back towards him. The man placed hands on my hips. I reached for a cup of oil, which I had prepared for the purpose, and handed it to Ksengian. "Spread that on your manhood." After he had obeyed, I lifted myself. Ksengian helped position his prick to between my butt cheeks. I bit my lip, as he groped my hips again. Loosening myself would have made the insertion easier, but I had to truly experience my first willing time. As I lowered my weight, I feared he'd try to pull me down. But he was considerate, and merely used his hands to show how much he appreciated my curves. My pucker barely fought against the trespass. When I was seated on his hips, I let out out a tiny squeal. His cock certainly wasn't modest, pressed against my insides. I shifted my rear up and down until my hole didn't resist. Ksengian's heavy breathing indicated that he was enjoying me. I too had learned, how to move, so that each thrust pushed into the delicate spot. I had wondered, if the sorcerer had given it to me, or if girls like me had it all along. Regardless, only the pleasure mattered. I reached my climax and shuddered, while my pucker squeezed the penis inside me. My movement was accompanied by a squelch: Ksengian had already come. I tightened myself around him, until he let out a satisfyingly uneasy grunt. Strong hands lifted me up, but before I could clamber off the bed, Ksengian pulled me into a hug. An instinctive coo left my lips. The main deed was great, but such closeness afterwards made it all the better. I closed my eyes, and let my mind sink into the haze of soreness, surrender and satisfaction. A hand raked my hair. I huddled against the man behind me. "I must confess something." Ksengian's voice was low. My body stiffened, but his touch remained gentle. "I should have told this earlier. I'm not at this sacred place merely to hide away from the enemy. I came for seclusion and advice of the spirits. You see... I experience improper desires. Youthful men rouse in me the same feelings as maids. A year back at the clans' meet, I found you particularly alluring. Of course, admitting such indecency would have been a disgrace for me and insult to you." "Yes..." I gulped. "I wouldn't have tried to understand." "I wanted to excise those thoughts in this hermitage." He chuckled and touched my cheek. "On that front, bringing you here turned out to be mistake." "But it really wasn't?" "No." His hand fumbled until it could clasp mine. The breath I had been holding came out as a sob. "Could we... Can we stay together?" Ksengian moved our hands so he would hold me more tightly. "Of--" Heavy footsteps thumped on the stone outside. Ksengian tensed and jumped out of the bed. He pulled on his trousers, while I got into my gown. "Blessings of the Day!" bellowed the voice of Tsadzir. A choir of echoes answered him. "Is that the governor-strategist?" Ksengian asked. "Yes." Ksengian kept his hand on the hilt of his word, as we went outside. Tsadzir was standing a distance away from us, alone and wearing a simple rider's robe. A sliver of my mind tried to force my body to rush to him. Tsadzir the Lover had been my comfort and my protection and often my pleasure. I had reason enough to know, how rotten he was. Yet he was here in the valley, because of me. "Brave of you to come here to have your guts spilled," Ksengian snarled. "You son of misbegotten bastards." Tsadzir smiled and spread his arms. "I am unarmed and in a holy place. You wouldn't curse yourself by spilling my blood." "How did you get here?" Ksengian demanded. "This place is guarded from dogs and veiled from intruders." "It wasn't easy. Render my success to Peritian mastery, if you will." "Why are you here, Tsadzir?" I asked. "To see that you are safe. And to reward my unwitting accomplice." He smiled at Ksengian. "You are that famous bandit Ksengian? I congratulate you for your daring intrusion into my palace, though of course it was aided from the inside." Ksengian snarled. "What do you mean?" The Peritian guffawed. "Who do you think pays your informant's wages?" He took out a pouch from his pocket and threw it at our feet. A heavy thump accompanied its landing. "There's the treasure you were denied. Silver and gems of sorcerous potency. Enough to make a clever man rich in all Peritland or anywhere else. My only condition is that you take her out of Yretmi lands and make sure she is provided for." Tsadzir took a scroll from his robe and dropped it at his feet. "A full pardon. Just sign it with your blood, Ksengian, and all authorities will know you are the enemy of Peritians no longer. Should you return to this squalid land, I will personally give you the courtesy of breaking your spine." Ksengian sneered. "I will not abandon my land and people." "Perhaps you won't. But they have abandoned you. They won't fight; it's apparent in their eyes." The Peritian lifted his hand. "Yes, yes, they might talk behind closed doors, how they are merely gathering their strength. But by the time Yretmi are strong again, it will be too late. The youngster will talk fluent Peritian. Do business with Peritians. Marry Peritians. Maybe even worship our gods, no matter how unwise that would be." I clasped Ksengian's hand, and asked the Peritian: "Why are you doing this?" Tsadzir's smug smile warmed. "I like you, girl. Possible enough for love. But I'm smart enough to know that I can't have you. Even without my wonderful wife, the relationship between you and me is rotten at the root. It warms me that you have found an adequate replacement." "I..." Ksengian took a deep breath. "I can't let you get away with what you have done to her." His hands moved to pull out his sword. My hand shot out to stop him. "No, don't. Killing him would do little good. And if... If I was avenged for--" I choked. Killing the Peritian couldn't be just for his crimes, but also for everything he had done to me. Ksengian let go off his sword and hugged me. Tsadzir laughed. "A wise decision. My replacement would assert his authority by culling your people. Not to mention, what my kind wife would do. Anyhow, I'll leave now. And I except you to leave in a week the latest. I wish you both a happy life far from here." The footsteps of the Peritian had faded into the distance, before Ksengian let go of me. "The fool left two of his treasures behind," Ksengian muttered. I giggled. After forcing the smile off my face, I asked: "Will you accept the pardon?" "Might as well, once I make sure it doesn't bind me to anything. But I will have to think about actually following through with the fiend's demands." "Yes, you should. Still, I don't want to stay, even if this is my homeland. We are in a sacred place. Could we plead the spirits for a permission? They might understand." Ksengian remained silent for a while. "That might be a good idea." We cleaned ourselves and enjoyed the rest of the evening together. At dawn, we were prepared for the hike up the mountain. Despite wearing men's clothing, I wasn't any less girly. On top of the wool we put on heavy furs, and we ventured up the mountain side. The climb was steep, but even though I had lost most of my muscle, most of my endurance remained. It helped that we didn't have much baggage, and Ksengian carried most of it. The sun was close to setting, when we reached the flat pinnacle. The air screamed with frozen spirits. Though the shrine was small, it had been made from heavy blocks of stone, of a different kind than the surrounding rock. Building it had been a feat of considerable brawn or sorcery. Even though we were surround by ice, we took off our shoes before entering. The inside was warm in contrast to the breeze of the mountain top. Ksengian placed our offerings to the small altar and lit a tiny candle. After we sat on the floor, he took my hand and squeezed hard. "Coming here was pointless," Ksengian whispered. "I'll defy them, if needed, to stay with you." "Don't say that." Despite the protest, my face warmed. "I mean it." He wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me against him. "If we leave this land, it won't matter if its spirits approve or not." I drew back. Perhaps Ksengian was right. Perhaps spirits, who didn't approve us, didn't want nor deserve our worship. But I couldn't live on as an embarrassment. "What you say makes sense." I let go of Ksengian's hand. "I'd still want to send a message to my parents. Could you wait outside?" "Alright. Take your time." I pressed my head against the floor and recited the names of my most auspicious ancestors. I asked for their forgiveness. I told them that I accepted my loss of rank, though instead of returning home, I chose voluntary exile. In the end I pleaded for their blessing, should they deem me worthy of it. No sign proved that I had been heard, but the weight on my heart was lighter, when I left the shrine. Ksengian smiled at me, his cheeks red from the cold. The sun was setting, yet another day would come for us. THE END AUTHOR'S NOTES (and a rant about the political dimensions of this vapid piece of smut): Thank you for giving your attention. Once again, I failed writing a properly short story. I guess I could have squeezed this by cutting off everything before or after the escape from the palace and by merely alluding to the rest. Oh well. This story sat on my unfinished pile for quite a while. I couldn't come up with a proper ending, and even now it's not that good. But all my other ideas were worse. At least this one doesn't have the magic granting squid thingy. On another note, the oppressive empire having (relatively) more progressive values than those they have conquered (due to the plot device) gives off an unpleasant pro-imperialism vibe, if I think about it too much. Admittedly, Peritians are unambiguously 'good guys' in my previous stories (despite being ruled by a dude, who doesn't even deny being a tyrant), though Asai does whine a little about it (in 'Self to Kill For' and 'The Ceremony of Submission'), even if she too is a metaphysically privileged literal aristocrat. All rights are waived on this text, CC0.