The Brown Blogger Rides Again free porn video

“Ja, Frau Miller, I am now in the England to visit my most promising online students. My colleague Herr Overwurst is here to observe and attend.”

“Please do come in, Professor. I hope you have found my work satisfactory and that I am on track to pass your wonderful course.”

“You are my most promising student, your love for the scheisse and ze piss is most gratifying. Never have I seen such gluttony, such passion for the poop!”

“Thank you, Professor Bütternberg, I am truly honoured by your kind words, may I ask when I can expect to sit my final exam?”

“Why this very day my lovely, Frau Miller! You have the bowl ready as I instructed in my email? Then I will poop in the bowl and mark your smearing technique and sexual stimulation to the poop. My colleague Herr Overwurst will then poop on you with, how you say, the piss chaser, ja?”

“Oh, Professor that sounds wonderful!”

“Ja, ja, please if you would sit here in your Henderson Easy-Matic 5 level recliner for comfort and quality at affordable prices, and hold the bowl just there, nestling against your delicious dumplings. Gut, gut, now I will pull down my, how you say, bloomers? And put my arsche in your face like this, now please kiss the arsche!”

“Of course, Professor Bütternberg where are my manners.”

“That is gut, your pretty mouth on my arsche feels wonderbar!”

“Your arse tastes divine, I cannot wait to receive your brown bounty!”

“Meine bounty is on its way, liebchen, it will be the taste of paradise!”

“And cut!” Becky yelled, getting off her folding chair, a frown puckering her pretty face. A frown that was beginning to puck me right off.

I shifted my arse from Heidi’s face and pulled my knickers back up. I badly needed to poop which wasn’t helping my mood. Becky was deep in discussion with our two cameramen, Keith, and a young guy Tom who worked on films for a living and was letting us use some top of the range gear.

Mindful of my role as executive producer, screenwriter, and co-star, time for me to rally the troops. “Great scene Heidi, it’s going really well. Becky loved your solo scene and the scene with your ‘hubby’.”

Heidi looked pleased. We had flown her in from Germany to play our English housewife, while I played the German Professor Bütternberg. She was a gorgeous blonde woman in her early thirties and big in the scat world so well worth the investment. Heidi also spoke perfect, accentless English courtesy of her English mother.

Initially, Heidi hadn’t been impressed with my somewhat stereotypical portrayal of a German professor or my screenplay, but she was a pro, got stuck in, and winced every time I stomped around as Professor Bütternberg. To be honest, she had winced pretty much every time she saw me, but we gradually warmed to each other.

“Okay, that was great,” announced Becky, “we got wide and close shots. Just need another close up of Judy’s arse perched over the bowl, then we are ready for you to shit, Judes.”

“About time,” I grumbled, holding my tummy.

Heidi grinned and patted my bloated belly. “I hope you’re packing a lot of shit in there for me.”

“Count on it. You’ll be in the shit literally and figuratively,” I replied.

I left Heidi laughing as Becky put her arm around me and drew me to one side. I braced myself. I was in for one of Becky’s ‘concerned’ talks.

“The plug for Henderson’s Chairs kind of disrupts the flow,” she said in that patient, soothing voice that was like sandpaper on my ego.

”The guy loves his scat, donated the chair and bunged us £750 for a shout out. What’s not to like?”

“I’m just concerned about artistic integrity.”

I love Becky to bits, absolute best bestie and all that, but by god, she could be a pompous twat.

“And the screenplay is still a bit, well you know,” she continued.

I bridled at this. The deal was she directed, and I wrote the screenplay. I injected cold disdain into my voice. “I’m studying English Lit. The theme is Chaucerian, bawdy tales and base humour, Bütternberg Tales, Canterbury Tales. Heidi is Mrs Miller, so the ‘Miller’s Tale’.”

“Yes, I know, Judy and no offence but the way you keep pushing your ‘English Lit’ in our faces, well you come across as a bit of a pompous twat at times.”

I refrained from murdering Becky. My restraint was positively heroic.

”Yeah,” interjected Steve. “The 1970s called and wants its humour back.”

I glared at ‘Herr Overwurst’ who was grinning at me and twirling his fake moustache. “It’s more 1370s,” I replied with crushing scorn. If it wasn’t for the fact Steve was paying to appear in the movie, I would have fired him on the spot.

You remember Steve? Cocky git, largely responsible for getting me in this mess? Wait, you didn’t know he was back on the scene? Okay, rewind, or as we call it in showbiz, a flashback.

My ‘Scat Sandie’ persona was going great. I shot a lot of solo stuff, along with scenes with Becky and our monthly Sunday Show ‘Around the Cistern’ with poop, pee, and a lot of viewer content, mainly our ‘get your girl to poop’ segments, was astonishingly popular.

I was still doing my ‘Jugs Judy’ gig and getting my kit off for generous gentlemen. Danielle, who ran the studio, mentioned that Barry was desperate to see me after I had cut him off after the Steve episode. This time I didn’t say no right away and Danielle pounced.

“No point in punishing Barry, and your career in poop is going well, babe.”

“Steve will turn up.” He had stopped messaging apologies to me, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist using Barry to worm his way back in.

“Probably. But can you honestly say you are still mad over it? It did work out for you.”

No, I couldn’t honestly say I was still mad, or even that bothered, but there was no way I was admitting it. A girl should stick to her guns.

“Yes, I can honestly say I am still mad with the creep,” I told Danielle.

“Hmmm, I’ll book Barry for Friday afternoon.”

“I just said I’m still mad!” I protested.

“No you’re not, you’re just being a stubborn twat, and I have a business to run, so next Friday get your tits out and be nice to Barry. Got it?”

“Well, if you insist, but I’m doing it under protest.”

“Honey, you can organise a demo outside voicing your outrage for all I care. Friday. 2:00pm. Be there.”

I shrugged, secretly I was pleased, and my honour was satisfied.

The appointed day and time rolled around, Barry is delighted and snapping away as I posed in the nuddie giving it the full pout.

“That’s great, Judy!” Barry enthused. “Thanks for seeing me again, I was beside myself thinking I upset you.”

A stab of guilt pricked me, but my heart hardened as Steve quietly slipped into the room. I went for icy glare. Unfortunately, this didn’t mix well with a sexy pout.

“Are you okay, Judy, you look unwell,” said Barry with genuine concern.

“Fine, Barry, can we take a five minute break?”

“Sure, whatever you want, Judy. I’ll download the pics, and maybe we do a couple of 5-minute video clips with you in different outfits?”

I nodded and gave him a big friendly smile. All the girls liked Barry, respectful, considerate and generous. Grabbing my dressing gown, I decided to blame Steve for all of Barry’s misfortune.

“You’ve slinked back in I see,” I said with soul destroying disdain.

“Yes, and before you start may I please say something?”

“I think I’ve heard enough of your apologies.” I sniffed.

“It’s not an apology, it’s more the truth about what happened.”

Despite myself, I relent a little.

Steve took a deep breath. “Okay, the thing is when it happened I was turned on by it all, and that embarrassed me.”

“You were embarrassed? Silly me, there I was thinking I’m the one that should have been embarrassed!”

“I appreciate that, but my reaction did embarrass me, you see when you were in the shower I got off on your mess.”

“You wanked off in my mess? I’m sitting in the shower, and all you can think to do is jack off in my shit?” You can’t see this, but my lip was curling magnificently.

“Yes. Then I tried to joke about it to cover my embarrassment, which of course made it worse, and yes, I failed to take into account your feelings. I was too wrapped up in my shame, embarrassment and stupidity.“

“This isn’t helping you.”

“I’m not here to help me. I’m here to tell you the truth.”

“Fine. A bit late.”

Steve would have said more, but Barry walked back in, and we got back to work while I brooded on Steve’s confession. I grudgingly appreciated his honesty, and I also picked up on his admission he had been turned on by what had happened.

At the end of the photo shoot, I dragged Steve to one side while Barry downloaded the pics and clips.

“First,” I said, “I appreciate the honesty, you’re a first-class creep so that couldn’t have been easy.”

“As ever, your high opinion of me gives me a warm glow,” he chuckled.

“Shut up. Thing is, as you may or may not know, I have been doing some poop related stuff recently, and it’s kind of worked out for me.”

“Yes, I know. Danielle told me. Kind of hot.”

“Okay, now that we are clear, I’m happy to put the past behind me.”

“Great. That’s all I wanted. Come clean and hopefully a fresh start going forward.”

“Fine, we’ll leave it there then.” I half expected the smooth-talking bastard to make a move, yet he didn’t.

So I did. Yeah, I know, us girls are suckers.

We made a date for the following Friday, he suggested a meal out I suggested eating in. Chinese, watch a movie. He said fine.

Come Friday night, I’m sitting on the couch, and he’s a respectful distance across from me. The take-out was great, the movie not so great. We are making nice with each other, but with an underlying tension filling the room.

He collects the plates and takes them through to the kitchen. I follow, leaning against the countertop, half hoping he makes a grab for me. I’d had too much girl sex lately, too much me being the ‘dom’ half. I needed something different, harder, meaner.

“You’re a pussy,” I suddenly blurt out.

“What?” He looked puzzled.

“You heard, you’re a fucking pussy!” I fold my arms and give him a haughty look.

“You reckon, huh?” Standing before me, he’s twigged my game.

“Yeah, poncing around like a tart, ‘sorry, Judy, forgive me, Judy‘, whine, whine, fucking whine!” God, I am so turned on right now!

He moves and pins me against the counter. I struggle to push him away. “Get off me, you bastard!”

“Yeah, I am,” he snarls, grabbing me by the throat and kissing me, his tongue aggressive and demanding.

“Mmmlphff!” I spluttered, which roughly translated meant. ‘Yes! Take me like the uncaring brute you are!’

Steve marched me through to the bedroom and hurled me onto the bed. I noted the plastic under the sheets, presumptuous git. Before I can recover, he is on top of me, undoing his jeans, his mouth seeking mine. “Please, stop!” I gasp while kissing him passionately. It’s possible I was giving out mixed messages.

Grabbing me by the hair, he pushes his cock into my mouth. I almost faint with pleasure at his taste, the feel of his hardness inside me. I gurgle happily as he throats me, telling me that he was going to fuck me, piss in my face than shit in my mouth, that I was a dirty shit whore.

My top is torn off, his cock waving in my face, tall and erect like a Buck House guardsman. He mashes my breasts, while I wriggle out of my knickers, anxious for him to fill me, fuck me. A slap to the face, hard, but not too hard, rocks me a little, he pushes my legs open, my skirt bunched around my hips. I’m shaking as he prods against my pussy, in my head I’m screaming for him to fuck me and then with one swift plunge he penetrates me and my fucking god it was glorious!

I can feel my eyes fluttering, vision burring, everything is hard, his cock, his body, his limbs, his lips, everything is a contrast to my squidgy, girly softness and I couldn’t get enough of it as we humped like two rutting dogs in the street. Carnal wanton lust fusing us, the beast with two backs.

It was quick, frantic and we collapsed in a heap of sweaty sin, his semen pumping into me, the initial edge gone, but our mutual lust still simmering nicely.

“Did I say you could fuck me?” I hiss, biting his ear.

“Who fucking cares.” biting my neck.

“Bastard!”

“Whore!”

He grabs my throat again, Squeezing a little. “You had better be nice to me,” he growled.

“Or else what, you fucking pig!”

“I said be nice,” his grin was wolf like and my resistance crumbled, my submissive side, starved of late, flaring up to consume me.

“I’m sorry, sir!” I gasp, even saying the words excite me.

“That’s better, a whore should mind her manners,” he slapped me with just the right amount of force, allowing me to cringe, my begging spilling out from me without thinking.

“Yes, sir, I’ll do whatever you want!” I kissed him, “just tell me what you want and I’ll do it, no matter what it is.” I trill, I mean, signposting much?

“Come with me,” he orders, climbing off the bed.

I scramble to follow, crawling behind him.

“Good bitch. Lean back against the toilet.”

“Yes, sir!” I sit against the cold porcelain, my head back and mouth open.

Almost immediately his piss stung my eyes then cascaded into my mouth, blinking and coughing I swallow his warm, briny liquid, warm enough to feel it flowing down to my stomach.

“Toilet Judy! Judy the loo lady! Judy the bog bitch!” His taunts stimulating my submissiveness.

“Yes, sir, I’m a dirty bitch,” I splutter as his piss arcs down over my breasts and then onto my pussy, splashing over my fingers as I rubbed myself frantically.

“Not dirty enough,” his eyes were glittering and I all but swooned knowing his intent.

Looming over me, I got a faceful of arse. He had a nice arse, his balls swinging in my face. I ran my tongue up them to his arsehole and rimmed his puckered poop chute.

I could feel his hole start to flex as I tongued him, encouraging him to poo, my lips formed a seal, and I began to suck, his hole getting wider. Pulling away, I watched his pleasure portal peeling open, the hint of his brown torpedo making me gasp.

“Oh, my!” I murmured as this brown, bald monster peered over the rim and began heaving itself toward me. I put my lips to it, kissing it in awed reverence. It began to gather pace, waving in my face, again I licked it, feeling the texture and tiny fissures, it had a strong taste, a male taste, unlike Becky’s or my own.

Then with a whoosh and a release of gasses, it shot into my face and lodged in my mouth, blinking I saw it stretching out, like a dark brown monolith, strong and straight.

Steve was staring down at me, wide-eyed. “Fuck.” he said in hushed wonder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The taste was like a gritty double expresso and gave off a surprising amount of heat that seemed to cloud my senses. I daren’t move, not wishing to disturb it. Squatting down beside me, Steve looked at it like it was an unexploded bomb. “Fuck,” he said again. Smiling, he took hold off it. “I think you need to suck me off.”

I gurgled a yes and he slowly worked his turd back and forth into my mouth like a brown dildo. “Put your lips around it, work it with your tongue,” he ordered.

Shuddering with pleasure I did so, dissolving his shit with my tongue and lips, filling my mouth with a bitter, brown sludge that I manfully swallowed, the act of taking his poop into me was taking my submissiveness to new levels.

I whimpered in protest as he removed his poop stick.

“Think you need another drink with your meal,” he stood aiming his cock at me and giving me a mouthful of pee. “Shit with a piss chaser!” He laughed.

Swallowing his piss, I obediently opened my mouth for more. This time he shoved his turd into my mouth and then jammed it in with the palm of his hand, smearing it over the lower half of my face.

Spluttering, I tried to breathe through it, snorting pieces of poo in the process, then he rammed his fingers in, forcing it down my throat, I gagged, then realised it wasn’t just his fingers, but his cock that was now buried in my shit filled mouth.

“Suck it your fucking shitty bitch!”

Retching a little, through a combination of his size and the mess at the back of my throat, I felt a wave of excited bliss sweep through me as I sucked him, his poop oozing out of my mouth, falling onto my breasts. His cock jamming into me sparked a coughing fit, reluctantly I released him to draw breath, my eyes watering heavily, a web of brown saliva bridging us.

Seeing the concern on his face, I flashed him a brown toothed smile and took his poop smeared cock back into my mouth, his excrement again blocking my throat, plugged by his jabbing hardness, but this time, swept along in the heat of the moment, I gulped the lump down. It felt a bit weird but good weird

“Fuck! Is it all gone?”

I nodded, opening my mouth to show him and then received a faceful of cum as he exploded with excitement.

“Oh damn, oh god, sorry I came so early but jeez, Judes that was awesome!” He squatted down, a huge grin on his face and hugged me.

“Hey!” I croaked, delighted by his reaction, his unashamed joy at what I had done. I felt oddly proud of myself. He pulled me to my feet and scooped me up, kissing me, his tongue exploring my brown smeared mouth.

I giggled as he carried me through to the bedroom. “Not getting clean, then?” I asked.

“Not yet, babe, I want to enjoy your foulness in comfort for a bit.”

“Sounds fine to me,” I replied stretching contentedly on the bed.

We lay there, recovering our breath. “You like me covered in your poop then?” I asked as I snuggled up to him.

“Yeah, you look disgusting and sexy. It’s a powerful combo.”

“Cool,” I reached down and smeared some shit onto his semi. He wriggled a bit, enjoying my attentions, his hand caressing my poopy boobs. Bending his head, he trapped a tasty teat between his teeth, nipping and licking me even further into a frenzy.

“Fuck me, babe, climb on and fuck me!” I urged, spreading my legs wide, inviting him to ravish me.

He needed no second invitation as he lept on me, rubbing his poopy bits against my poopy bits and then pushing it home. I clung to him, squashing his mess against both of us, allowing him to slip and slide as he made sweet, scat love to me. We were a brown streaked, sweaty ball of limbs and filth; debauched, debased degenerates fresh from the stinking maw of hell. Orgasms juddered through me, I hovered up lumps of poo that squirted up as we slapped against each other and screwed ourselves into oblivion. It was fecal heaven!

Honestly, I get all dreamy just reliving it. Doesn’t every girl dream of the perfect night of l’amour?

Right now, though, Steve was not making friends. Becky had taken against him, which may have been my fault, as I had probably gushed once too often at the great sex we were having, scat themed or otherwise. But he could poop for England and Heidi was impressed, although as Steve was now shitting on her face, you may not have been able to tell.

“This is excellent, Frau Miller. You swallow the poop, ja?” Lucky cow I thought.

Heidi was chomping through Steve’s shit like a pig through bone. “Yes, Professor Bütternberg, I am finding Herr Overwurst’s poop most delightful!”

“Rub your arsche on Frau Miller’s face, Herr Overwurst, squish your poop all over her prettiness!”

Enthusiastically Steve got to work, with Heidi gasping and spluttering as he slid all over her face. I saw Becky was looking at me intently and flashed a smile. I smiled back, appreciating the gesture as she had been cool towards me recently.

With a belch and a moan, Heidi swallowed the last bit, and Steve stood up, Tom, the camera guy, zoomed in for an overhead of Heidi’s ruined face, held it for a few moments, then switching to me.

”Excellent, Frau Miller, now for the final mouthful before the piss.” I said picking up the bowl I had crapped in earlier, the contents of which were largely smeared over Heidi’s breasts and pussy.

I knelt beside her, as she sat upright, lumps of poo falling from her face ”Just one mouthful, my liebchen and you pass with full honours.”

Heidi coughed up some of Steve’s stool along with brown mucus and shook her head. ”No.”

”It’s only a small lump of Professorial poo, a tiny little thin piece, wafer thin in fact.”

”I couldn’t Professor, ” she belched again, then moaned as fetid mucus dribbled out of her nose. ”I think I’m full.”

”Just one more piece of poop, Frau Miller, just the one.”

”I couldn’t eat another thing, I’m absolutely stuffed, Professor.”

”Oh, liebchen, one last tasty morsal?”

Heidi nodded, forgot her line and took the last of my poo from my hand and swallowed it.

”Excellent, Frau Miller, now if you will just lie down while we assume the last position the neun-en-sechstig! The sixty-nine, ja?”

I swung my leg over and straddled her pooey head, ”Guten Appetit!” I cried, burrowing my face in her smelly snatch and breathing in that pungent aroma. At that moment I felt Steve’s hot liquid splash over my arse as he pissed on Heidi’s face while she ate my pussy.

Becky called ‘cut’ after another minute or so, which I ignored. To my surprise, so did Heidi, who was performing a gyno examination with her tongue. I wriggled in delight, having no idea how she got so far inside me!

“Leave them, Becks,” hissed Keith. “We’re getting some great material here!”

Oh, God, I felt as if Heidi’s tongue was in my cervix, how did she do that freaky tongue shit? I spluttered over her pussy as I came hard and then tried to repay the favour.

Laughing, Heidi slapped my arse. “Enough, Judy, trust me that was fun.”

Sheepishly, I rolled off her and grinned. “You have some serious oral skills, babe.”

“Thanks, you’re pretty good yourself. You get everything guys?” She asked wiping poo from her face and off her breasts. I think I cleaned up her pussy.

“Great,” enthused Ken, “It’s an honour working with you, it really is.”

“I can see,” replied Heidi looking pointedly at Ken’s groin.

“Sorry about that, but that scene was fucking hot!” He stammered.

Tom and Steve voiced their agreement. Heidi looked at me, speculatively. “Yes it was,” she smiled.

“Well, we can’t stand around all day congratulating ourselves,” said Becky briskly. “Let’s get tidying up. All being well it’s the final day of shooting tomorrow. Annie has agreed to help out, Heidi will also be on poop duty, and I understand Tom has agreed to ‘contribute’.”

A cheer went up as the young man blushed. I squelched over to Becky. “Hey, you want to hang this evening?”

“Can’t I’m afraid, work to do, now get into the shower, you and Heidi can share, Steve in the other.”

A little miffed at her rebuff, I said: “I’m okay sharing with Steve.”

“This is a work environment, not a party, let’s keep it professional.” Becky swept off before I could respond.

“I’ll grab the second bathroom, you and Heidi can have the other,” said Steve, who wasn’t inclined to make a fuss.

I shrugged, as did Heidi. “Guess we are together then,” she said.

“Should be fun.” Linking arms we trooped to the shower.

“Sorry Becky is in a bit of a mood, she’s uptight over the filming,” I apologised as I soaped Heidi’s back.

“I understand. I was a bit uptight at the start.”

“Always awkward working with new people, and I guess you were wondering what you had let yourself in for.”

“True.” She turned around and let me soap her breasts. Like me, she had big natural boobs, soft and squidgy. Taking the shower gel, Heidi returned the favour. “I was taken aback by you and I underestimated your talent and the ***********. You bring energy and fun. It’s refreshing. You should come to Germany, I can get you a lot of work.”

“A trip? Sure I’d like that. Becky as well? I know she’s done a couple of trips.”

Heidi was non-committal. “Becky is good, professional but she only really likes working with girls, which limits her.”

“Oh, I hadn’t really noticed.” Thinking about it clips with guys usually involved Becky pooping on them.

“Yes, well she is gay so not that surprising.”

“No, Becky is straight,” I loved this woman’s boobs. I could soap and play with them all day. Heidi was giving me the side-eye. “What?” I asked.

“Becky is a lesbian, who pretends to be bi,” said Heidi firmly.

I stopped, puzzled. “No, she’s straight. She told me.”

“Ja, she tells everyone that, and how many guys has she dated or seen since you’ve known her? None, I bet.”

“Well, no, mostly we’ve hung out, fooled around, until I hooked up with Steve again. Oh.” It suddenly dawned on me why Becky had cooled on me. “Ooh!”

Heidi put a huge soap sud on my nose and did a good impression of us both. “I’ll shower with Steve, Becky,’ ‘No, let’s keep it professional!’” She smiled. “Becky is perhaps a little bit jealous of you and Steve? You do talk about him a lot. Oh, and she throws women only parties, no? Ladies all natural with each other, no men allowed?”

“Yeah, but that isn’t…” I trailed off as Heidi began laughing.

“I’m sorry, Judy, but your face is a picture!”

“Why didn’t she tell me? She even talks about fantasies involving guys.”

“Not to make you uncomfortable I guess, also I think she is in denial about it. And it means she can have fun and if you are young and naive you may believe her tales about men.”

I let Heidi shampoo my hair while I figured this out.

“She has a women only bash planned for later this month, have you been invited?” Heidi continued.

“No!” I knew nothing about it. I was angry now. Angry and hurt.

“I wondered if you had. Listen, you two make a good team, you bring energy and ideas, Becky brings calm and order. For it to continue you need to be honest with each other.”

“I have been honest,” I said indignantly.

She draped her arms around my neck and kissed me. “Good. Now you have to make her be honest with you.” She poked out her tongue and waggled it. It was a long tongue. “Not attached properly. You like that up your pussy?”

”Loved it!”

“You want to get together this evening and have sex?”

God, yes. “I think I have to go and sort a friend out,” I declined wistfully.

Her face showed her approval. “Yes, you do.”

Becky’s work involved a drink or two with Ken. I bullied him into revealing the venue, rather enjoying the look on Becky’s face when I turned up. Ken did his best to look surprised but collapsed when Becky turned up the heat on him.

“I’ll get the next round and grab some menus,” he muttered and fled to the bar.

“So work, huh?” I said.

“Ken and I are discussing tomorrow’s work schedule. Lost Steve have you?”

“No, but I did turn down sex with Heidi.”

This threw her, but she recovered quickly. “I’m surprised, didn’t think you and her were keen on each other.”

“We weren’t to begin with, she thought I was a mouthy idiot.”

Becky gave a thin smile. “Well, you do take some getting used to.”

“So my bestie keeps telling me. But then she tells me lots of things that aren’t on the level.” I was quietly steaming which I tried to keep in check.

“I really have no idea what you are talking about.”

I switched tack. “I hear you are having one of your ladies only bashes soon.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Yes, I was going to ask you, but I assumed you would be with Steve.”

“Fuck Steve.”

“I understand you do. Often.”

“Strictly fuck buddies, largely because we share similar tastes. Tastes that I share with my bestie, who I much prefer sharing time with.”

“Except when you are fucking.”

“I like fucking men. Do you?”

“That’s none of your business. We work together, hang sometimes, my private life is my affair.”

I lost it with the snotty cow. “You mean you’re a lesbian, and lied to me about it,” I replied heatedly as Ken returned.

“Okay, I’ll leave the drinks and menus here, and I just remembered I promised the wife I would be home early.” Ken couldn’t leave the pub quickly enough.

“I didn’t lie,” Becky replied quietly when he had gone.

”You weren’t straight with me. No pun intended.”

She smiled. “You’re a funny girl.” She wiped her eyes. “Sorry.”

All the heat went out of me. “Hey, I’m sorry too, I’m just upset, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I know, I should have told you after we got to know each other and then Steve shows up. I was silly I guess.”

“Well, a little. I’m sorry I kept banging on about me and Steve, well, banging every five minutes, but it’s the sort of thing you share with your bestie.”

“Yes, it is, and I’m happy for you.”

“Well, you could have fooled me,” I smiled. “And talking of fooling, we can still fool around.”

“Really? Oh well, that’s great to hear. Thanks, Judes, I’m touched by your heartwarming generosity.”

“Yeah, okay, no need for the sarcasm, Becky.”

“No need you say? Tell me, Judy Bellingham, what exactly do you think this is all about? Do you know why I’m really upset? You want to have a guess?”

I was getting annoyed again. “Look, I’m the injured party here.”

“Injured? Because I didn’t tell a strange girl I had just met that I’m gay? And then didn’t tell her later because we were having fun and I know she isn’t gay so what’s the point? Or that I didn’t tell her when she was bragging about this hot guy, who, incidentally she couldn’t stand the week before? And what exactly should I have said? That I am in love with this girl? Hearts and flowers and romance and wedding bells in love? That I miss her when she isn’t around? That I miss her laugh and her crazy ideas and whacko personality? But apparently, it’s okay because I can ‘still fool around with her’ when she isn’t too busy. Well, thank you very much for your gracious consideration, your majesty.” She stood, hoisting her handbag onto her shoulder. “Now if you would excuse me, I have a home to go to and a day’s filming to plan.”

I looked at her, open mouthed, too stunned to say anything as Becky walked out, head high and proud as you like.

Sipping my drink, I tried to get my spinning head straight.

“You okay, dear?” I looked up. A woman at the next table was smiling kindly at me.

“Yeah, I think so,” I replied, picking up the menu. “Are the burgers any good here?”

Brown Girl in the Ring

We finished filming, cleaned up, broke open a bottle of cheap bubbly and had a ‘wrap party’ as Tom called it.

“I’ve had a great time helping out and shooting this film,” he said, trapping me in a corner. “And I’ve got my arse on camera, and I got to shit and piss on Heidi! Shame I can’t tell anyone,” he sighed.

I consoled him, said I had to mingle and wriggled free. Becky was chatting to Heidi and Anne, a friend of Becky’s who like Tom didn’t mind lending her arse on set and had pooped daintily over Becky.

I joined them. “There you are,” said Becky brightly. “I was just telling Anne how you let it rip on set, very unladylike!”

“But very effective,” smiled Heidi.

“I’m a girl of many talents,” I laughed. Anne was a lovely girl, a slender brunette, the same age as Becky and a good sport. I asked how they met.

“Becky and I met at college. Hung together and ran with the same crowd, although I’m the only one who knows what Becky does, well and me as well I guess.”

“It’s an exclusive club, to the scat girls!” I lifted my glass in a toast. Becky gave a little smile, excused herself and went to talk to Ken. Since our chat in the pub Becky and I had been largely avoiding each other. I was unsure how to handle the situation between us. It had really unsettled me, and I didn’t really know why.

A few days later, I was back in Danielle’s studio and decided to confide in her, yes she was wildly indiscreet, but when it mattered, Danielle was there for us girls.

“So Becky is hot for you? It happens.”

“Not just hot for me, I can handle hot, I get hot for girls too. No. She’s in love with me.”

“Love?”

“Yes, love, you know, flowers, gooey eyes, marry me, in love.”

“Becky?”

“Yes, Becky.”

“Well, she is a steaming lez, so that’s probably why.”

“Really? Well, thanks for that illuminating insight. I would never have guessed. And it’s lesbian, or gay not ‘steaming lez’. And am I the only one who didn’t know she was a steaming lez, I mean gay?”

”Probably honey, and I don’t care what you call it. I’m pretty much a steaming lez myself these days.”

I was sceptical. “You’re always dating men.”

“No, dear. I entertain gentlemen for money. You are so naive, Judy, I worry about you.”

“But you do like fucking men?”

“Yeah, it has its moments, but it’s not about the fucking. Becky has probably fucked men, although she is such a steaming lez, probably not.”

I looked blank. Danielle sighed and made a fresh pot of coffee.

“Look, it’s not just about sex. A man sticking his cock in you, well it’s all over in a few minutes. It’s about the long bits before and after. Living with a man, the sharing, the cuddles, the hugs, emotional intimacy, that’s the bit Becky can’t do, and neither can I, although I’m like that with women as well, but I can handle it better with women than men. If you say to me, Danielle, you have to share your life, your home with someone who would it be, a man or a woman, what would you choose? I choose a woman. Every now and then I may want to fuck a guy, but that’s just masturbating with a human dildo. Emotionally though? Living with a man? That would drive me crazy.”

I absorbed all this.

“Now, you have never thought about this, you’re an uncomplicated girl. See man, like man, fuck man. Same with girls. And on the whole, you prefer fucking guys to girls, right?”

I nod.

“But emotionally, you don’t connect, right? It’s sex, fun, a laugh, a good time.”

“Yeah, I guess, but I have been in love,” I pointed out.

Danielle pulled a face. “Maybe, maybe not. Sure you’ve had crushes, think you’ve been in love, but nothing has really touched you deep in here.” She prodded my left tit.

I was feeling defensive. “You make me out to be heartless!”

“No, not at all, you are a warm, generous girl, but a girl who has never really been in love. You are young, 22, it is not a crime. Tell me how often has a man declared his love for you?”

“I dunno, lots of times.”

“And your reaction is, back off, let them down gently?”

“Pretty much, I never seem to feel the same.”

“Do you worry about it, or seek out someone to talk it over with?”

“God, no, it’s not a big deal.”

“Except now it is.”

“What is?”

“With Becky, this time you need to talk about it. This time it bothers you upsets you. Why?”

“Well, because I like Becky a lot, I think she’s great.”

“She matters to you?”

“Yes, very much.”

“You turned down hot lesbian poopy sex with a girl with a magic tongue just to go and talk to Becky.”

“Yes, because, well she’s my bestie.”

“You care for her?”

“Yes.”

“You like her, you care for her, you put her interests above your own.”

“Yes,” it slowly dawned on me what Danielle was getting at. “Oh, I see. You think I should tell Becky all this?”

“Yes, you should. I’m not saying you are in love with her, only you know that, but you do care for her, very deeply care, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

I stood up and gave her a hug. “I know I complain and call you names, and you are a terrible agent, but every now and then I realise you are the wisest person I know.”

“True,” Danielle replied smugly.

****

Before Steve turned up and ruined everything with his apology and attractiveness, I was often at Becky’s, usually just turning up unannounced and driving her mad, although in an affectionate way. I heard from Ken that Becky was prepping for the party, to which I still hadn’t received an invite, so I popped round and found her hard at work laying down sticky plastic and getting irritable with it.

“Thought I could lend a hand!” I said cheerfully as she let me in.

“I’ve got it, thanks. Gwen is helping me.” Gwen was Ken’s wife.

Gwen kissed me on the cheek she was a plump, cuddly woman in her fifties, curly light fair hair and absolutely adorable. There was a slight smell of stale sweat about her this time, which I affected not to notice.

“It’s a bit inconvenient, Judes,” grumbled Becky. “You keep doing this, breezing in when it takes your fancy. How about the courtesy of letting me know in advance?”

“You would have told me not to come over because it’s inconvenient,” I replied sweetly.

Exasperated, Becky muttered under her breath while Gwen dashed for the kitchen, wittering something about putting the kettle on.

“Looks like a serial killer’s den,” I continued.

“Yes, well, sometimes it can get a bit messy.”

“I wouldn’t know, not having been to one of your bashes.”

“Well, obviously you are invited.”

“I am? I didn’t realise.” I was enjoying teasing her, which was bad of me.

“Well, you are.”

“In that case, thanks and I would be happy to lend a hand.”

Becky looked dubious. “By hand, do you mean pitching in for ten minutes then slacking off with cups of tea for the rest of the afternoon while everyone else does the actual work?”

“Probably. Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me.”

I could see she was struggling not to smile. She covered it with a haughty sniff. I poked her in the tummy. “Besties?”

“I’ll think about it,” Becky replied. “No Steve?”

”No, I’ve parked him in storage.”

She visibly perked up. “That will upset him.”

“I doubt it, to him I’m a kinky fuck buddy, nothing more.”

“I see, is that why you’ve parked him?”

“No, I parked him because of you.”

She was silent, but I could see the delight in her face. “For me?” She eventually asked.

“Yes. You see having thought about it I realised that I like you, really like you, care for you very much in fact. So if there is anyone I want to be with, it’s you. I miss your fussing, how you obsess over things, I miss you telling me I’m too loud, too full of myself, and I don’t want to miss…”

Becky’s lips crushed mine as she locked me in a fierce embrace.

“I hadn’t finished,” I said, breaking free.

“Shut up,” she said, kissing me again.

Gwen came through, beaming and carrying a tea tray. “I’ve messaged Ken, and he is delighted you two have made up, he is very fond of you both. It’s been a real worry for him.”

“Were you eavesdropping?” I asked with mock disapproval.

“Of course I was, dear,” replied Gwen, pouring out the cups of tea.

****

The morning of the party dawned bright and early. Becky and I made love it was tender and dreamy. Afterwards, we lay in each other’s arms, sweaty, smelly and content.

“This promises to be one of the most memorable weekends of my life,” Becky murmured happily.

“Really? What do you think has made all the difference?”

“Do I have to stroke your colossal ego all the time?”

“Absolutely, it’s all part of the package.” I rolled over and got out of bed.

“You up already? Normally it’s an effort to get you to stir.”

“Hey, there is a party to prepare for, nibbles to be baked.” I leaned over and kissed her. “You sleep in for a bit, I’ll keep an eye on things.”

“I’m definitely getting up then,” said Becky in genuine alarm.

“Cow, have some faith,” I grumbled, swatting her in the face with a pair of dirty knickers.

The party was an all weekend affair, with six guests plus me and Becky. My first taste of what to expect was Gwen arriving with an overnight bag and in a little black number that was hardly age appropriate.

“Gwen embraces her inner slut, it’s a safe environment and she relishes it,” said Becky as Gwen disappeared to claim a bedroom, it was two to a room and two on futons in the dining room and two in the garage.

“You said this wasn’t about sex?” I already had Gwen feel me up as she kissed me hello. She seemed to be a different person.

“Well, I may have undersold that,” admitted Becky.

I refrained from commenting from the many, oh so many things she had undersold or misrepresented. “So, am I allowed to feel her up in return?”

“This weekend you can do what you like, only thing I would ask is that I be allowed to introduce you as my girlfriend,” Becky blushed prettily, the colour matching her short pinkish party dress. I had gone for a similar dress but in pale yellow. Two days in and we were dressing like a couple. Kill me now.

“Your girlfriend? Big step,” I said with a frown.

“I know, it’s just…”

“It makes you feel good, gives you a nice squidgy feeling in your tummy?”

She nodded helplessly.

I gave her hand a squeeze, “Well, okay, but your guests may think you’ve hooked up with a total slut by Sunday.”

“Honey, we do porn, scat porn. I think worrying about what people think sailed a long time ago.”

“Well, I’ve claimed a bed, no way am I sleeping on futons!” Gwen announced, slipping her arms around Becky. “Usual rules?” She asked looking at me.

“Usual rules,” smiled Becky. “And you smell lovely.”

“Thanks, no washing since last Sunday and been working up a real sweat since, so I should pong nicely. Beth and Karen will be delighted.”

More guests arrived. Anne from the shoot, which I was pleased about, then Karen, a real hippie chick, thin, hairy and blonde, and her wife Beth who was big, square faced with cropped har and tres butch, both trailing a rich, ‘earthy’ odour. Becky moistened on the spot as she embraced them.

“So you’re Judy, Becky’s girlfriend.” said Beth, she seemed pleased.

“Yes, that’s me,” I hated being called someone’s anything but Becky was happy and I had to learn not to be so uptight.

“I’m pleased for you both,” and I was wrapped in a cloud of pong as Beth and Karen embraced me. I held my breath and smiled through it. Then Anne also popped up and hugged me once I had freed myself.

“I understand you and Becky are a thing, and yes she did tell me not to say that to you,” Anne was a mischievous cow. I liked that.

Becky made more introductions. Camilla was Swiss-French, and in her early twenties, she was a fresh faced blonde student, escort and part time scat model and Lucy, a stunning black woman in her thirties. Becky had met Lucy at a party and they had hit it off. Lucy was more into piss play at the time but was now exploring scat. Both were absolutely lovely and neither mentioned ‘Becky’ or ‘girlfriend’

There was a clap of the hands from Becky as she called for order in the lounge.

“Ladies, as always a pleasure to see you for one of our special weekends. We have a newcomer, Judy, but please feel free to be yourselves around her as she is just as depraved as the rest of us.” There was a general titter at this. “Please note the two main chamber pots in here, one for pee the other for poo, no mixing,” there was a general shuffling of feet and looking away as Becky glared around the room. Becky liked things ‘just so’. “There is plastic stuck down everywhere so please avoid any non plastic areas, finally have fun and feel free to do as you please, but do respect other people’s boundaries. Thanks for coming and I declare this weekend started!”

Everyone laughed, applauded and got back to gossiping and catching up. Beth had shyly gravitated to me and I was adjusting to her aroma. Hooking my arm through Beth’s I gave her a smile and quizzed Anne on Becky.

“So, were you and Becky ever a thing?”

“No, not really, we experimented at college but it was always more her thing than mine. I was much more interested in men. Not that she didn’t date, but looking back I think it was more about keeping up appearances, which is super weird given how she earns a living.”

“Confirming to the artificial norms of our patriarchal society,” said Beth.

“Right on, sister!” chipped in Karen.

Anne rolled her eyes and smiled at me.

“I need to piss!” Beth announced. She seemed anxious as if seeing how I would react. I realised despite her size and appearance she was shy and sweet. Karen, it turned out, wore the trousers.

Other guests were looking too and I guessed I needed to break the ice and take the lead before the others could truly relax with me around. “Me too,” I said to Beth.

The two chamber pots were alongside each other, one with a yellow sticker the other a brown, Becky had serious control issues. I went to the yellow stickered one, pulled up my dress and yanked down my knickers, rather enjoying have all eyes on me.

Looking around I gave a thumbs up and started pissing, immediately the mood relaxed and then Beth came up, pulling down her jeans to reveal hairy legs and an even hairier pussy, honestly you could get lost in her undergrowth.

“I thought you would like some company,” she smiled, splashing urine into the other pot.

“Piss pals,” I grinned, which she liked. Giggling, she tried to hug me, and I ended up peeing over my knickers. Laughing, I took them off and threw them at Beth, who pissed on them some more and threw them back at me, missing and hitting Camilla on the leg.

“Beth!” Becky returned bringing more refreshments. “I said no mixing and it’s only been five minutes!” She gave me an exasperated look. “I knew you would be involved.”

Wiping my pussy with my hand, I defended myself. “It was all Beth’s fault, Miss!”

The sodden panties reappeared to hit Becky in the face, courtesy of Camilla. Becky stood there, panties draped across her face and a half-smile to accompany them.

“Fuck it,” Becky put down the wine bottles and made a lunge for Camilla who shrieked and tried to hide behind Lucy, Gwen got hold of the young girl and all three manhandled Camilla to the ground.

“First punishment of the weekend goes to Camilla!” Becky announced as she kicked off her panties and sat on the protesting girl’s head.

A cry of ‘Poo!’, ‘Poo!’ went up, but Becky shook her head, “Too soon, but I can do this,” she raised herself a little and peed in Camilla’s face who went from crying ‘No!’ to lapping it up.

Engrossed as I was, Beth putting her arm around me and looking smitten had not gone unnoticed. “Are you trying to get in my knickers, because its a bit late if you are,” I said.

“Probably,” she replied. “Gwen and the others have an eye on you as well, we all want a pooey romp with the new girl. Karen too.”

“Ooh, Gwen is having a pee now!” Anne cried out.

The rest of us clapped Gwen along as she pissed into Camilla’s mouth with Becky making sure rivers of pee didn’t run off the plastic. I gave her a hand while the rest enjoyed the show.

“Thanks, babe,” she flashed a smile at me.

“No worries, being the hostess is a full time job.”

“Yes, but the girls are having fun and that’s what counts at the end of the day.”

I kissed her. Becky may be an annoying anal obsessive, in more ways than one, but she had a good heart. “Thanks!” She grumbled when I told her, but she was secretly pleased.

“Oh, I have an idea for a game later on if you think everyone might be interested.” I told her.

“Should I be worried?”

“Probably.” Grinning, I filled her in.

I figured eight in the evening was as good a time as any to introduce my party idea. We had all eaten, drank a bit too much wine, watched some porn, including some scenes from the feature we had just shot, Gwen was down to her undies having been jumped by Karen and Anne and soaked in pee, and the chat had been pure filth in the way only a group of excitable, half-cut women can manage.

Becky interrupted the chatter. “Ladies, if you wouldn’t mind, Judy has had an idea for a fun party game. As ever it will be put to the vote and if the majority decide then we will play. Judy?”

“Okay, to break the ice and humiliate one of you fine ladies I thought we would play a simple game called ‘Poop Peril’.” I waited for the buzz to settle. “Eight identical paper cups, a shot of strong rum in each, but one will also contain a powerful laxative. Becky will pour the cups in the kitchen, I will then go in, rearrange and distribute them. With me so far?”

There were eager smiles and nods.

“Who gets the dose no one knows until later, and here is the best bit, names are drawn and we pair up-“

“Oh, you bitch!” Karen exclaimed.

“Karen is there already,” I smiled.

“Whoever gets the partner with the lax is on the receiving end,” Karen finished for me.

“Exactly. The safest position to be is the one with the lax, except for the embarrassment of voiding yourself in front of everyone. Although I don’t think that’s a huge problem for you ladies.”

A clamour broke out, equal measure of nerves and excitement.

“So are we playing Judy’s party game?” Becky asked.

Five hands shot up, Karen was the last and a bit reluctant. She felt singling out one person deliberately was unkind.

“Great, let’s begin.”

Gwen and Lucy set up a pool in the lounge, and Becky shut herself in the kitchen to pour the shots. The other ladies waited around nervously.

“If I end up with shits, pity the poor cow on the receiving end,” grinned Beth.

“I won’t last twenty minutes, I already need a huge poo!” Lucy giggled.

“Okay all done, over to you, babe,” announced Becky.

I headed to the kitchen, shuffled the paper cups around on the tray and returned with ‘The Cup of Doom’ as Anne had christened it.

Silently, save for a few nervous giggles, each of them took a cup, and on the count of three, we all downed our shots. Four of us, me, Becky, Anne and Camilla, pulling a face at the pungent liquid burning our throats.

”Now, ladies, time to draw partners. Becky will do the honours.” I announced.

“The first name is Beth, who will pair with Judy.” Becky smiled at us both.

Laughing, Beth looked at me, licking her lips and rubbed her stomach. Karen dug her in the ribs. “Don’t be mean, dear. This is why I was reluctant to play this game.”

The underwear girls, Gwen and Camilla drew each other. Anne with Lucy, leaving Becky with Karen. “Well, I’m delighted,” Karen smiled pecking Becky on the cheek.

“So, what now?” Camilla asked in between burying her face in Gwen’s hairy armpits.

I shrugged. “We wait.”

Slowly, the women began to relax and chat amongst themselves, Karen was extolling the virtues of not shaving to Gwen and Camilla, Gwen being a recent convert, was enjoying showing her bushy pits and flashing one very hairy bush. I couldn’t help looking with frank curiosity.

“You like Gwen’s hairy pussy? I noticed you staring at mine earlier,” said Beth.

“Yeah, my generation is largely shaven down there, or at least trimmed.”

“You’re welcome to explore mine.” Beth had lost her shyness after a few drinks.

Curiosity won. Also, I found this big, raw woman attractive. “Okay,” I took her hand and we went into the hallway. “Show me.”

With a little shiver of delight, she unbuckled her trousers and dropped them. Reaching down I slipped my finger into her densely matted hair and then her moist pussy. It did feel kind of weird, but a nice weird. I wonder if Becky would go for a big bush?

”That feels nice,” she said huskily. She pulled up her t-shirt to reveal her tits, black hair surrounding her large nipples, pulling me into them.

“I see you are bonding with my wife,” Karen’s amused voice interrupting us.

Biting hard on Beth’s big tits, I gave her the two finger treatment. I turned to Karen. “Would you like to lick your wife‘s juice off my fingers?”

Smiling, Karen took my hand, sucking on my fingers, then nibbling them.

There was an excited shout from the lounge, I followed Karen while Beth hopped around taking her trousers off.

“What’s up?” I asked Becky.

Silly question. Lucy was holding her tummy and trying not to wince. To say her partner, Anne, was looking alarmed would have been an understatement. Sheer panic wouldn’t have done it justice.

“I’m not sure Anne is ready for this,” said Becky biting her lip.

Smiling broadly at the thought of Anne getting it, I reassured her. “Anne will be fine.”

“Hmmm,” Becky glanced at a pantless Beth. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just being a good hostess. Karen approved.”

“You’re a terror, Judy Bellingham. It’s one of the reasons I love you.” Her attention switched back to Anne who was looking helpless as Lucy doubled over, an ominous rumble came from deep in her bowels. Everyone took an involuntary step back with Gwen pushing Anne towards Lucy. “Off you go, hun.” Gwen’s eyes were sparkling with anticipation.

Concerned, Becky stepped forward to see to Lucy, who waved her away.

“I’m fine thanks, but I’m going to blow pretty soon and it’s going to be bad. Real bad.”

Gwen and Camilla were squeaking with excitement. Anne looked like she was going to faint and Beth, god bless her, was fingering herself at the prospect of ‘poor Anne’ getting it. To be honest, I wasn’t far behind her.

“Perhaps, I should stand in for Anne,” said Becky.

“No!” Gwen shouted. “I mean, we all knew the rules right and Anne voted for it,” she added, slightly embarrassed by her indignant outburst.

“I agree with Becky, sisters look out for one another,” said Karen.

Spare me from well intentioned people, they will suck the joy out of everything. I stepped in. “Gwen is right, we all ran the same risk and did so willingly. I love that you two are willing to sacrifice yourselves.” I didn’t love it. “But rules are rules and it has to be fair.”

“Hear, hear,” said Beth.

Anne took a deep breath. “Judy is right, I’ll do it. I’m more of a novice compared to most of you, but it’s not my first time, and it can’t be that bad, right?”

“Oh, honey, it’s going to be bad, real bad,” gasped Lucy in her deep, smooth voice.

“Well, I’m sure I’ll be okay. I will be okay, right Becky?”

“Of course, just shut your eyes, and close your mouth,” Becky reassured her. “I suggest you strip.”

Nervously, Anne slipped out of her top and skirt. She hesitated on the knickers and bra, then took them off to ribald calls and Gwen fondling her bum.

The reaction seemed to cheer her up, or at least distract her for a moment until Lucy staggered to her feet, her tummy turning over like an idling Harley Davidson. “I need to shit!” Lucy groaned.

Anne gulped and quickly climbed into the pool. “Shall I kneel, or lay down.“ she fell silent as Lucy clambered into the pool, pulling at her skirt and then yanking down her knickers, her arse in Anne’s face as the trembling girl sank to her knees.

“Here, let me help,” offered Anne pulling Lucy’s knickers down further. Sweet girl.

“It’s coming, honey, oh boy it is coming!” Lucy yelled and pulled her arse cheeks apart.

“What…?“ Anne looked up. It was a rookie error.

There came the dull explosion of gasses, like the thunder of artillery, then it was if someone hit the ‘on’ switch, as a torrent of poop on the cusp of a liquid semi-solid state hit Anne full in the face. The crowd around the pool, did a collective “Ewwww!”, retreating from the splashback.

It didn’t stop. Lucy had mentioned earlier she had a huge amount of poop inside her, and it was now making a grand entrance as she hosed Anne down, obliterating her face and chest with brown slurry.

“Oh, God, that feels better,” gasped Lucy, as silence descended. Then: “Hang on, babe!” Another volley of gasses, then the second wave, more solid than the first swept over Anne. She flinched back, her hands limply hanging in the air.

“Fuck!” Becky exclaimed in awed respect.

Lucy, standing almost ankle deep in shit, looked around. “Oh, dear.”

Then it came, a barely audible agonised wail from the strange fetid swamp creature that used to be Anne. The banshee wailing got slowly louder until it was a keening cry that finally prompted Karen to move forward and clasp Anne to her in a gesture of ‘sisterly solidarity’. I didn’t buy it for a second.

“Great party game, Judy,” said Beth admiringly.

Smugly, I modesty agreed. My attention switched to the sight of Karen rubbing herself against the giant lump of poo that used to be a person, Gwen was on her knees doing the same. I glanced at Becky, who was looking like she wanted to join in, but ever the good hostess, she turned to Lucy and helped her out of the poo pool.

“May I?” Becky asked Lucy, her voice husky.

“Sure, honey.”

I nodded my okay at Becky, who buried her face in Lucy’s arse, making little happy sounds as she cleaned this gorgeous pooing goddess of a woman.

“You reckon we should join in?” I said to Beth. “We seem to be having a pool poo party.” Camilla had dipped her toes into the sludge and wiped them on Gwen’s breasts. Karen had stripped and was unashamedly rubbing herself off on Anne, who save for some copious vomiting down Karen’s back had quietened down. Fingers crossed, she hadn’t been too traumatised.

Smiling, Beth stepped into the pool and I went to kneel alongside Becky, her face still buried in Lucy’s arse.

“Having fun, babe?” I asked.

Becky was snuffling away like a pig hunting truffles. She broke off to smile at me, a squashed piece of poo on her nose. I kissed her brown streaked face, the squashed poo ending up on my cheek.

“Best opening night for party weekend ever!” She breathed, her eyes shining with happy tears. “I love you, Judy Bellingham.”

“And I love you, Becky Sansome,” I whispered back, and under the idyllic moon of Lucy’s expansive arse, we joyfully hugged and kissed as a fine fecal rain began to fall gently upon us, a brown veil blessing our union.

It was the most romantic moment of my life.

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