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I looked at Barry lying there next to me on the bed and wished I could go to bed with him every night and wake up with him every morning instead of just once in a while. What was hardest on me was knowing that Barry wanted it to, but I just could not do it. I knew what would happen if I did and I just could not do that to him.

I met Bobby in junior high and I was his from the first time he said hi and introduced himself to me. He asked me to go to the movies with him and I said yes and from then on we were an instant couple. As far as the rest of the kids were concerned we were 'The Golden Couple." Bobby was the quarterback and captain of the football team and I was a cheerleader and class president. We were the Homecoming King and Queen and it seemed like all school social activities revolved around us.

My eighteenth birthday and the senior prom were on the same day and following the dance and after two after prom parties I surrendered my virginity to Bobby. From that point on we made love whenever and wherever we could.

Our football team, under Bobby's leadership, went undefeated for two years straight and Bobby was besieged with offers from a dozen universities and colleges and he chose State. I was a straight A student and I had half a dozen scholarships and though I really wanted to go to CU I went to State because that is where Bobby was going.

Bobby and I were so hot for each other that sometimes we did not use good sense and halfway into our freshman year at State I got pregnant. Bobby didn't care. When I told him he just smiled and said:

"What the hell baby, we were going to get married later on anyway. It will just happen sooner is all."

Neither of our families were happy about it, but they offered their support. The plan was for me to stay in school until I had the baby and then the grandparents would take turns babysitting while I went back to school and finished my degree program.

Bobby was on his way to a lucrative career in the NFL and our future looked bright and then it all came crashing down. Bobby went out with some friends one night and got drunk. He and his buddies were watching some guys who were doing some 'extreme' skateboarding and Bobby's friends were commenting on the skill necessary to be able to pull off some of the moves and Bobby, never a shrinking violet, said that anybody with a sense of balance could do what the boarders were doing. "Bullshit" one of his buddies said and Bobby said;

"Bet you ten bucks I can do it. I've never been on a skateboard in my life, but if you want to put up the money I'll show you just how easy it is."

His buddy pulled out a ten dollar bill, Bobby borrowed a skateboard from one of the boarders and promptly broke his leg in three places and his football career was history. He lost his full ride and since he had been a mediocre student at best — just keeping his grades high enough to allow him to stay on the team — he rapidly lost interest in school and dropped out.

Until that point married life had been fine for us, but things started to change. Bobby found work easily, but after finding a job he couldn't keep it. I blame Coach Nichols for that. Coach Nichols was Bobby's high school football coach. When Bobby took over as quarterback the team had never had a winning season and Coach Nichols knew that his time as a coach was running out,

Bobby had a natural ability, a feel for the game, and in the huddle he started changing the plays that Coach Nichols sent in. The team started winning and although Coach Nichols kept calling Bobby into his office, reading him the riot act and threatening to bench him if he didn't follow the coach's instructions Bobby just listened politely and then went out and did what he felt he had to do to win. In the huddle everyone looked to him and did what he said. He was in charge. He was the one in control. Bobby was a natural leader and Coach Nichols bowed to the inevitable and left Bobby alone and Bobby in return gave him his first ever winning season and then went undefeated for the next two years.

Bobby left school with the mindset that he knew better than anyone else. He was the leader, he was in charge and he told people what to do; they didn't tell him. It didn't work that way out in the real world. When the boss told you what to do you didn't argue with him if you wanted to keep your job, but Bobby never seemed to learn that lesson and it cost him job after job after job.

I was in my sixth month and was hurrying through the hall to make it to a class I was late for when someone tripped me and I fell to the floor. I woke up in the hospital and after making sure that I was okay they told me that I had lost my baby. Bobby went out and got drunk and came home calling me a clumsy bitch who had cost him his son. Our marriage went downhill from there.

Because Bobby couldn't hold a job I had to quit school and go to work to help support us. I quickly learned not to leave money where Bobby could get his hands on it because as soon as he had some he went out drinking and when he drank he usually got drunk and when he got drunk he got abusive. The first time he came home drunk and hit me I was so shocked and upset that I ran out of the house crying and drove down to the park. I sat on a bench crying for over an hour and when I finally stopped I went home and found Bobby passed out on the living room floor. I left him there and went to bed.

In the morning Bobby couldn't apologize enough for what he had done, but six days later he came home drunk and did it again. But I'd had those six days to think about it and I vowed that he would never do it again and get away with it so when he did it I left the apartment and waited two hours before going back and found him passed out on the bed. When he woke up in the morning I had him tied hands and feet in an X to the bedposts. I waited until he was wide awake and yelling before I went into the bedroom with an aluminum pot and pounded on his body. I stayed away from knees, ankles, wrists and elbows — and his head of course — but every other inch of his body felt that pot. When I was done I told him the next time he came home drunk and used me for a punching bag I would use a cast iron skillet and I wouldn't take care to miss things like knees and elbows. Then I left him tied up and went and had my hair done. That didn't turn out to be one of my better decisions because Bobby wasn't able to get up to pee.

Bobby was a quick leaner. He stepped up his verbal abuse, but he never raised a hand against me again. But what he couldn't do to me he could and did do to others. Even though our own relationship was in the toilet he was still a very jealous man and if he saw me with another man, no matter how innocent it might have been, Bobby would accuse the other man of trying to get into my pants. Sometimes words would be exchanged and the fight would be on. It had happened a half dozen times over the course of a year and twice Bobby had sent guys to the emergency room at the hospital. His luck held though and he was able to get away with it because witnesses were never clear as to who threw the first punch and Bobby was always able to claim he was just defending himself. That and the fact that none of those he fought ever pressed charges against him.

As I looked down on Barry sleeping peacefully on the bed I knew I could never let Bobby find out about him. If Bobby could send guys to the hospital for just talking with me or having a cup of coffee with me I couldn't even begin to imagine what Bobby would do to a real lover.

Barry was an accident. Regardless of how things were going between me and Bobby I had never even thought about another man. It happened because of Bobby.

One night I got a call from Mack Ellis the owner of Mack's Bar and he asked me to please come down and get Bobby.

"He is way to drunk to drive. I took his keys and had a couple of guy's park so as to block his car in case he has another set of keys. I can't let him drive. The way things are now if he drives and kills somebody I'll be the one who gets sued because I sold him the booze.

"Let him walk. Maybe the exercise and fresh air will do him some good."

"Can't do that either. He steps off the curb in front of a car and I get sued. Do me a favor and come down here and get him I'll repay you by giving you your first two rounds free the next time you come in here with your friends after work."

"Just me or the whole group?"

"The group. Come on honey, come and get him."

I got to Mack's and saw cars bumper to bumper both in front of and in back of Bobby's F-150 and I could see him sitting in the truck. When I walked over and pulled open the door and the interior light came on a shocked Billy Jean Evans pulled her head up off of Bobby exposing his wet cock. Billy Jean had gone to school with us and she had always had the hots for Bobby. Twice she had made a move on him trying to split us up and God knows right then I wished she had been successful.

Billy Jean's face was wet with tears and she cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't tell Gary. Oh God, don't let Gary find out."

Gary was her husband.

"Maybe I won't tell Gary if you tell me how long this has been going on."

"Maybe eight or nine months. Please, I'm begging you not to tell Gary."

"Why would I want to tell Gary? He might do something to put a stop to it. You are welcome to this piece of shit. You keep him busy and he will leave me alone. Fact is he is going to need you because he is never going to touch me again."

I slammed the truck door and went home. I took everything of Bobby's out of the bedroom and tossed it on the living room floor and then I dropped a pillow and a blanket on the couch which is where he would sleep from now on. The only way he would get into the bedroom again was when I moved out. He staggered in around three in the morning to drunk to do much more than fall into the chair next to the couch. He was still there when I left for work in the morning.

That night when it was time to get off work Agnes asked me if I would like to stop for a drink with the group. I had stopped with them on Monday and normally I limited myself to once every two weeks or so, but Bobby and Billy Jean were still on my mind and I really didn't want to go home just then. We had been at the bar about an hour when an extremely good looking man came in. Agnes said:

"Oh good, he came. I wasn't sure that he would."

She stood up and waved and the man saw her, smiled and headed for our table. Agnes introduced us all to her brother Barry and informed us that he had just moved to town to start a new job. For some reason Barry homed in on me. To me it didn't make much sense since out of the five women at the table I was the only married woman and two of the others at the table were better looking than me or at least I thought so.

He took turns dancing with all the girls, but I seemed to be his partner more often than any of the others. A couple of hours later and after several drinks I was just loose enough to comment on it. Specifically the part about me being the only married woman there.

"It is because you are married that I'm spending most of my time with you."

"I don't understand."

"I'm not dumb and I know why Agnes invited me to join the group here tonight. She is in her matchmaking mode. Her plan is to get me hooked up with one of her single girlfriends, but I am not interested in getting anything going with a lady right now. I have just too much on my plate with the moving and settling into my new job to take on a girlfriend. You are married and therefore safe. As an added benefit you are also the best looking woman in the place."

It must have been the drinks I'd had that caused me to say it, but I smiled at him and said:

"Don't be too sure about the safe part. I'm a little pissed at my hubby right now and I'm thinking of giving him some payback and you are kind of yummy looking."

"Yummy? Me? No one has ever called me yummy before."

"I probably shouldn't have either. I think my alcohol intake is having an effect on me."

"Not meaning to be too forward but I kind of like the effect. Tell me more about the yummy part."

"I think you should take me back to the table before I do something stupid."

When I got home I saw that all of Bobby's stuff had been picked up off of the living room floor, but I didn't see it piled up anywhere. I found that he had moved it all back into the bedroom and he was in bed asleep. I got a glass of water and poured it on his head. It woke him up in a hurry and he sat up and glared at me, but before he could say a word I said:

"You don't sleep in this room anymore. It's the couch or get out and go stay with Billy Jean. Get your crap out of this room and do it now."

"Bullshit! This is my home and my bed and I'm staying here."

"Okay asshole; your choice, but as soon as you fall asleep I'll get my ropes and my cast iron frying pan. Sweet dreams asshole."

I walked out of the room and a couple of minutes later Bobby came out carrying some of his clothes. It took him five minutes to get his stuff out of the bedroom and then I went in and went to bed.

In the morning Bobby was up and making coffee when I came into the kitchen. He looked at me and said:

"Can we talk about this?"

"What's to talk about? I caught you with your cock in Billy Jean's mouth."

"Ah come on baby, I was drunk and she took advantage of me. You know she's always had the hots for me. I was blitzed and she saw her chance and took it. I was too out of it to know what was going on."

"My turn to say bullshit Bobby. You have not been drunk and out of your mind for nine months and that's how long Billy Jean says you have been getting it on with her. I don't have the money for a divorce and this apartment is the best I can afford right now so if you aren't decent enough to move out I guess I'm stuck with having to live with you right now, but all we are is roommates Bobby. Just two people sharing a place to stay."

Two days later I was on my lunch break and sitting at a table in Patty Ann's when George Tarkis came in and saw me and came over and asked me if he could join me. George had gone to school with me and we hadn't seen each other in a couple of years. We were talking about things like "Any idea where it is now?" and "Whatever happened to " when Bobby came in and saw us. He came over and said:

"So this is why you are turning your back on me. Get up asshole. I'm going to teach you what happens when you mess with another man's wife."

George started to say that he wasn't messing around with me, Bobby slapped him across the face and the fight was on. George wasn't a push-over and Bobby was getting the worst of it until he grabbed a sugar container off of the table and smacked George in the head with it. George went down and Bobby started kicking him and wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't picked up a chair and swung it into Bobby's back. He turned around in a rage and I stood there holding the chair and snarled at him:

"Come on Bobby; do it! Come after me Bobby, please come after me."

He knew right away he was fucked if he did because he knew I would press charges on him in a heartbeat. He was standing there staring at me and breathing hard when the cops came in. Herb, the owner of Patty Ann's had called them and he told them that Bobby has attacked George while he was sitting there at the table and the cops cuffed Bobby and took him away. George got stupid and wouldn't press charges.

"I knew he was a jealous asshole and I had a fair idea of how he would act if he saw me sitting with his wife. I should have known better. I guess you could say that I brought it on myself" is what he told the cops and Bobby walked again.

The only thing that happened to him is that Herb barred him from Patty Ann's.

The next day at work I was sitting at my desk when I heard "Good morning pretty lady." I looked up and saw Barry standing there. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I would drop in and see if Agnes would like to have lunch with me, but she has already made other plans. How about you? Would you like to have lunch with a poor boy new to town and not knowing many people?"

He smiled at me and I melted a little inside and said that I would love to have lunch with him. Lunch went well and he asked me to join him for a drink after work and I had to remind him that he was talking to a married woman.

"True" he said, "But you did say that you owed your husband some payback and I'm offering to help."

I was tempted. Lord knows that I was tempted. It had been almost a month since I'd had intercourse with Bobby and I was a bit on the horny side, but I wasn't quite ready to take that big of a step yet. It wasn't that I was feeling all that virtuous, but I hadn't yet decided what I was going to do about Bobby. Our marriage was over as far as I was concerned, but the fact was that we were still married. Not that I would let the fact that I was wearing the ring Bobby gave me keep me from getting payback, but I just wasn't ready. I had things to think about. I knew what Barry wanted. Why else would a man go after a married woman? True, being new in town he could be just looking to make friends, but how likely was that? On the other hand he was a good looking guy and I could do a lot worse if I decided to get even with Bobby. But the bottom line was that I just wasn't ready yet and so I said:

"Maybe some other time. Right now just isn't a good time."

He smiled and said, "That sounds like maybe some day there will be a right time. I guess I'll just have to keep asking you to have lunch with me."

When I got home that night Bobby was sitting on the couch waiting for me. Before I could even take my coat off he said:

"I'm sorry. I really am sorry baby doll. I've made a mess of things and I know it. I've been feeling so damned sorry for myself over the way things turned out that I haven't been thinking straight. To be honest about it I know I've had my head up my ass, but I'm going to change baby doll. I can't bear the thought of losing you. I know I haven't treated you right, but I can change. I'm going to change. I'm going to turn it around. I'm going to work for Marcus Gelling. He is going to help me get my CDL and I'm going to drive for him. All I'm asking is that you give me a chance. Don't give up on me."

I had never heard Bobby talk that way before and I did have a lot of my life invested in him, but Bobby had let me down too many times. Still. What would it hurt to give him a chance?

"Okay Bobby, I'll give you a chance, but you are still on the couch until you show me that you have really changed."

Bobby did get his CDL with both tanker and hazmat endorsements and he did go to work driving for Marcus. He made good money and it looked like he had finally found a job he could keep. The driving job was 'over the road' and sometimes Bobby would be gone for five or six days. He had stopped drinking and it looked like he was finally getting it together. He wasn't back in my bed yet, but our relationship was getting better and if it continued I thought we might just have a chance to put things back together.

I had lunch with Barry at least once a week. I enjoyed talking with him. I didn't do anything to lead him on, but he did keep letting me know that he was there for me.

Things were looking better for Bobby and me right up until the night I ran into Bev Allison. Bev had been a schoolmate and was one of the few who had tried to warn me away from Bobby way back when. Naturally I assumed she was another Billy Jean who wanted to get me away from Bobby so she could get her hooks in him so I ignored her.

I had worked some overtime and didn't feel like going home and fixing myself dinner. Bobby was on a five day run to somewhere and not due back for another day so I stopped at Patty Ann's. The place was full and I didn't see an empty table or booth and I was about to turn and leave when I caught sight of Bev waving at me. She was in a booth by herself and I walked over and she invited me to join her. We made some small talk for a while and then she said:

"I see you finally wised up to Bobby."

A couple of people had seen the altercation between Bobby, Billy Jean and me in Mack's parking lot and the word had spread and most of the people who knew Bobby and me had heard about it. I shrugged and said:

"I wised up and we had a sit down and I think we've straightened things out. He had one foot out the door and the other on a banana peel and my hand in the middle of his back ready to push when he decided to change his ways."

Bev looked at me for a couple of seconds before saying, "Bobby change his ways? Except where Bobby is concerned I always thought of you as one of the swifter girls I knew. If Bobby changed his ways why did I see him going into room 141 at the Bide-A-Wee motel with that tramp Helen Catron?"

"When was this?"

"About two hours ago."

"It couldn't have been Bobby. He's on a trip and not due back until tomorrow."

"You are in denial honey. I've known Bobby since the third grade and my eyesight is 20/20. I know Bobby when I see him."

I suddenly lost my appetite, told Bev goodbye and I got up and left Patty Ann's. I was not in denial, but I couldn't go on hearsay. I drove out to the edge of town and there in the Bide-A-Wee parking lot was Bobby's Ford pick up truck. No mistaking it either; not with the vanity plate "QBACK" on the back bumper.

I drove back into town and decided to stop at the Starlight Lounge for a drink. I saw Agnes and Barry sitting at a table and Agnes saw me and waved me over. I joined them and then for the next half hour we talked and I sipped a margarita. Then Agnes said she had to be going and Barry said he was going to stick around and keep me company.

After Agnes was gone Barry asked me to dance and while we were dancing he asked me why I was out drinking alone and I told him. He pulled me in tighter and said:

"Sounds like the perfect night to get that payback you talked about."

I looked up at him and said, "I think you are right" and so began my love affair with Barry. We left the Starlight and I followed him to his apartment. It was only going to be a one night stand that I was going to throw in Bobby's face when he came home. An "If you can do it so can I" thing, but that is not the way it turned out.

My only sexual experiences were with Bobby and with Bobby it was always a couple of minutes of foreplay and then get on and go. He would suck on my breasts, finger my pussy while I fondled his cock and then it was ten minutes of hard driving sex in the missionary or doggie position. I had no complaints because Bobby always brought me off. I had always wanted to give Bobby head and he wanted it, but he refused to lick my pussy so my position was "I don't get it, you don't get it.

Barry was totally different and an eye opening experience. He spent twenty minutes just kissing me and another ten slowly undressing me. Once I was nude and on the bed he started kissing me and then kissed and licked his way all the way from my mouth to my pussy. Once he reached my pussy he started eating me and I lost it. I screamed, I cried, I moaned and I came like crazy.

I fell asleep in Barry's arms absolutely sexually satisfied and exhausted. In the morning all thoughts of a one night stand were gone and so was the idea of throwing my infidelity in Bobby's face. Doing that would never mean seeing Barry again and I was not about to let that happen. Not after the night I had just had.

For the next three months when Bobby was on trips I was with Barry. We didn't fuck, we made love. We made love three and four times a week and when Bobby was home I couldn't wait for him to be gone again To keep Bobby from getting suspicious I started having sex with him again and I let him think that we might make a go of it after all, but it wasn't going to happen. Not after my experiencing Barry.

I wanted to leave Bobby and marry Barry and Barry wanted it also. He even offered to pay for the divorce, but as much as I wanted to do it I couldn't. I had seen too many times what Bobby did to guys who just talked to me or sat with me for a cup of coffee. I could only imagine what he might do to someone who had not only touched me, but who had made love to me. I wanted Barry, but not at the expense of Barry being put in the hospital — or worse.

It was a night when Bobby was home and he had already gone to bed. I was sitting on the couch reading a novel about a man who had framed his wife's lover and had gotten him sent to prison and it gave me an idea and the more I thought about that idea the more I thought that it was the answer to my problem. I would have to be careful about it and do it so Barry never found out, but if I could pull it off Barry and I could live happily ever after.

The idea was simple. Take a lover and make sure that Bobby found out about it. Bobby would lose it, go after the guy and hurt him bad enough that Bobby would go to jail. Once he was locked away I could divorce him, wait an acceptable period and then marry Barry. The hard part would be to decide who to take as a lover. I couldn't do it to someone I liked, but by the same token could I have sex with someone I didn't like? And I would have to have sex with him to make sure Bobby would be enraged enough to do the kind of thing that would get him tossed into jail and put away for a while. I would have to do it. I would have to make myself do it! But I'd have to do it in a way that would keep Barry from finding out about it. He would never in a million years understand.

Two days after I came up with the idea I was in Dawson's Mercantile looking for some kitchen curtains when a voice behind me said:

"How you doing sweet cheeks?"

I turned around and saw Charlie Martin. Charlie was the guy who all through school hit on all the girls and who thought he was God's gift to women and at that exact moment I thought he was God's gift to me. Charlie had a reputation and it was both good and bad. The girls who did get with Charlie raved about the size of his cock and what it did to them, but the down side was that if Charlie scored with you he let the world know. There always seemed to be a girl willing to pay that price if she could experience what Charlie was reputed to have.

I stood there looking at Charlie and I knew that if Charlie took a shot at me and I took him up on it he would talk about it and the word would get back to Bobby. It might be even better than that. Charlie had been the quarterback until Bobby beat him out of the position and Charlie had hated Bobby ever since. If I gave in to Charlie it was possible that Charlie himself would tell Bobby just to rub his nose in it. Charlie would make the perfect stalking horse. All I had to do was get Charlie to take that shot and I knew just how to make it happen. I smiled at him, looked him up and down slowing my gaze in the area of his genitals and said:

"Hi yourself handsome."

Charlie took that and ran with it. After a minute or two of "How have you been" and "what are you doing with yourself these days" Charlie said:

"Are you doing anything right now? Maybe we could hit The Rock Pile for a drink and catch up on old times."

"I'd like that Charlie, but Bobby is expecting me back in a little bit. Maybe we can get together the next time he goes on one of his five or six day trips."

"That would be great. Here, let me give you my cell number. Give me a call the next time you are free."

Knowing full well that if I called him he would see me as a sure thing I took the number and told him that I would be in touch.

It was a week before Bobby got a six day out of town trip and it just happened that Barry had to go out of town on personal business at the same time. A death in the family that would keep him in Boston for at least two weeks and maybe three if the estate couldn't be settled quickly. I waited until the day after Bobby left and then I gave Charlie a call.

"Bobby is on a trip and I don't feel like sitting at home alone. You still want to buy me a drink?"

"You bet. Just name a time and place."

"The Rock Pile at eight?"

"I'll be there."

And he was. He must have gotten there real early to make sure he got a booth in the back corner where it was dark. I hoped it wasn't too dark for him to appreciate the extent I had gone to to grab his attention. A low cut blouse with no bra, the shortest skirt that I owned and the high heels that Bobby called my "fuck me" shoes. Also, I hoped it wasn't too dark to keep others from seeing us. That was the point after all — getting the word back to Bobby.

I slid onto the seat across from him and he smiled and said, "It is a good thing that I'm not a betting man."

"And why is that?"

"I would have bet that you wouldn't show."

"That would have been a stupid bet anyway. Maybe if you had called me and I'd agreed to have a drink with you you might have considered that I might have second thoughts what with me being a married woman and all, but I was the one who called you."