Sins Of SINdora free porn video

Part I of the Sindora Series.

A few readers have asked to read MORE about my libidinous darling wife, SINdora. Here 'tis! Ladies, fingers IN and guys, hands ON... start your motors!

Her opening bio... "SWING SETS" listed under the category of "Loving wives" covers her 'SWINGING' days while married to her first two husbands. For accuracy, she helped edit her own 'tales of her TAIL' while it was a work in progress.

Several times while occupied with that chore SIN' opted for 'TAIL in PROGRESS' with orgasms at the keyboard! The naughty time spent gazing at her biographical personal porn on the monitor created some very HORNY MOMENTS for both of us. You can believe that it is impossible to type while a HOT pussy is squatting on your erection and having its tits massaged and earlobes nibbled. (Or her pussy being licked while SHE sat in this chair!) Don't believe me? Try it yourself some time!

She did that bit of chicanery while she was masturbating her clit and reading about her own sexual misdeeds. Obviously, she was enjoying some horny flashbacks! Guess who had to clean the 'come' off the computer chair? I LOVE all of the erotic adventures she has had on her own before my time... those don't make me jealous, just HORNY AS HELL for HER! (Untutored or unready virgins are such a PAIN... for both parties!)

Ladies, have you ever crawled UNDER your computer desk and given your guy a B.J. while he surfed a porn site or ten at YOUR request? (IN my case, while attempting to write SIN's biography!) SINdora did that among other erotic distractions she could 'come' UP with whenever she noted that what I was typing ABOUT HER had given me an ERECTION! Yes, when she is home I compose and type in the nude! (As the Scout motto recommends... BE PREPARED!) Guys, crawl under, finger and eat her while she's surfing male buns on line. Let her get a GOOD EYEFULL of cocks and ass and I'll bet she 'comes' in three minutes or less when you start 'working' on her!

If you have not read "Swing Sets" and haven't the time to do so at the moment let me quickly reprise. I met SINdora on a blind date. When she first walked into the club where we were to meet, (SIN' was dressed in TIGHT cut off jean shorts displaying her stunning legs and some of her tight, pretty ass cheeks peeking. Plus a skimpy braless tie front top showing off magnificent breasts just short of her nipples) she about blew the socks and knickers off the men and women she passed. Me included. The men drooled from both ends and the women GLARED! How DARE she look HOTTER than they did? She displayed the cutest belly button I think that I had ever seen! (If her waistband were another inch lower, she would have been showing off her 'pet' beaver's fur coat!)

It took a few weeks for us to become an "ITEM" though we hit it off at first sight.

SIN' still had a stray piece of ass that she was boinking unbeknownst to me. (Not that it was any of my business anyway!) He was giving her the Roto-Rooter jobs and more or less taking care of her hormonal needs. (Mostly less it turned out.) No need to rush INTO anything with me... she'd bide her time.

After our meeting, she had a burning desire to GET LAID... I like to think I had prompted that. SIN' says that I did. Flattery will get you everywhere with me Darlin'! She went straight to "Roto-Rooter's" house and relieved her horniness! Not to throw a 'pity party' here, I went home and masturbated alone! Damn, girl you turned me on from the 'git go'! I hadda "DO" SOMETHING for my own relief! I fucked 'Mary Fister and her five sisters' because of you!

She was twice divorced as was I. SINdora was technically not into swinging any longer. For her to be fucking two men on the sly took some serious rationalizing on her part these days! Where I was concerned she managed to diminish her scruples long enough to give me a test flight. (I'm thankful that she did!)

I finally managed to coax her into visiting my Coconut Grove apartment. (Just for a home cooked dinner and conversation of course. Yeh right!)

I had a cat, a large coal black cat living with me. Sin' disliked cats almost to a point of obsession. Before she left for home, the next morning, she LOVED that delightful PUSSY and I was SMITTEN with HERS! (I still am!)

That cat was a lovable rascal himself... he'd managed to charm the pants off her and every other garment as well that first night! Okay, I had a little to do with it, considering that, pussycats haven't the dexterity to unhook bras and pull down panties!! He and I were good enough buddies that he would have tried if I needed him to.

Without a stitch on her stunning little body, SINdora was unbelievably, awesomely SEXY! All she had on was a pretty smile and a pair of 'fuck me' heels. We never made it as far as the bedroom! We left several 'wet spots' on the living room carpet! BIG wet spots at that, partially hers co-mingled with mine!

After the fact SIN' told me that she had NOT been multi-orgasmic in years! (Score one for my team!) We were on the track to becoming the best of friends and lovers. Today we sorely miss our black kitty. He lived and loved with us for seventeen more years. Regardless of superstitious 'old wives tales' he was the BEST OF LUCK where my new piece of 'tail' was concerned! He was also a first class 'watch cat'... whenever we were fucking he'd sit and 'WATCH'. Our voyeurism must have rubbed off on him. I wonder if he was ever jealous or angry with me for having had him neutered! The poor lil' fella was missing all the FUN!

If you have read any of my other autobiographical tomes, you will know that I have long been enamored of sexually aggressive women. Our first intimate night together was something that I had HOPED would happen. Conversely, SHE had PLANNED for it. GAWD she was an aggressively GOOD, "prepared" Girl Scout!

SINdora loved (and LOVES) her orgasms. Having been a 'swinger', she had screwed her way through dozens of men and some women before we linked up. I suppose what I am conveying here is that she was not hesitant or shy about her sexuality... and wanting to FUCK that night! She wasn't brash or crude about it SIN' was just being her normally horny inquisitive self! The dinner that I had cooked for her wasn't bad either. Spaghetti is like a bowl of Corn Flakes... how badly could I have screwed that up???

SIN's libido has been an unfolding (as in wet, slippery pussy lips unfolding) adventure since our first assignation. That night she was extraordinarily HORNY and was spending the evening with what she felt was a "nice guy". She had no real trouble with a one-night screw that time as long as it was a good FRIENDLY one! NO CONDOMS please, she was 'on the pill' and wanted THE REAL McCoy IN her!

She had elected me to "cure" her problem, if I could! At the conclusion of our first romps on the floor SIN' gave me a new 'pet name'... I was her "Dr. DVM". NO not "Doctor of Veterinary Medicine". I was her "DOCTOR of VAGINAL MANIPULATION"!!!

When in doubt about what will give a NEW lady in your life a decent orgasm... provide her with a FINGER FUCK until she 'comes' for starters! Once she has had "HERS" from you (pay attention boys and girls) she will undoubtedly be all too happy to assist and give you YOURS about anyway you want it! SINdora did and still does!!

She was more impressed than I deserved. Most men to whom she had loaned her 'swinging' gorgeous pussy had tried to 'get her off' in the traditional manner. They pushed their cocks into her hot, slippery beaver until somebody 'came'. One hundred percent of the time they DID and ninety percent... she DIDN'T! That's just the way that female plumbing is designed. My older mentor "TINA" had patiently taught the 'finger technique' to me. Bless you TINA... you helped make SINdora very happy that night and ever since!

In turn SIN' made me deliriously happy as well. There I was on the floor and providing a new and spectacular, naked horny young woman with a "helping hand" and she was RESPONDING beautifully. She in turn FUCKED me every way but loose! And still does! She had expected the usual... I'd hop on board and fuck her... end of story. SIN' rewarded me for taking the time to see to it that she "GOT HERS" first!

Last night after a similar well fingered orgasm she fucked me face to face, then from the back and ended it by stretching out for me to watch her spread and masturbate her gorgeous pussy on the couch until I squirted all over her. (No need to explain where the inspiration for this essay 'COMES' from is there?)

Uh oh, speaking of... she's been reading over my shoulder for the past few minutes adding suggestions here and there and now she's pulling her top off. Methinks she wants her lovely tits suckled and my finger IN you know where! 'scuse me while I oblige! Back here later... if I survive this!

Hoo boy, SIN' got her clit tickled just now standing next to this chair with her nipples stiffening in my mouth... that cute 'thing' inside her pussy was as hard as a bullet! I swear she gets a hard-on just like I do. She 'came' fast too! Horny reading is next best to a XXX movie for her! Bless her naughty heart... she bent over this desk and let me fuck her sensational twat from the back AFTER she had "COME"! If you don't believe that a good finger fuck works wonders... just ask SINdora. Better yet, try it. Too bad in some respects that she has given up the 'swinging' life style... she'd SHOW YOU how it's done and how she LIKES to get it!

The best for her is my (your?) finger separating her labia, entering from the top, and sliding down over her clit, then INTO "the hole" between her pretty 'lips' all the way to the knuckle. Slide it back up and out without losing contact with her mini erection. Repeat that again and again until she 'comes'. You will feel her clit swelling during the process. If you can detect that, you will know that you are "doing her" properly.

On the off chance that you DO get the opportunity to slip 'the finger' to SINdora one day (You never know... it might happen) when you 'do it' remember to keep the clit contact as light and as gentle a BUTTERFLY WINGS. This applies to gents or ladies! DON'T press too hard... when she is horny, her hardening, swollen 'ignition switch' is ultra sensitive! Increase the pressure INSIDE of her pussy and then relax it on the outstroke!

Start slowly, pick up the tempo when she asks you to. She wont be peeing on your finger... she just gets VERY wet. Lie as close to her as you can in order for her to hang onto your cock (or to slip her finger into your pussy or to hold your tit in the case of the ladies). Clutching your cock while she's 'coming' is her form of erotic "Linus blanket"! She likes the 'SEXcurity' of knowing that you have something HARD with which to FUCK HER as soon as she's ready!

While your finger is fucking her marvelously pretty pussy, make firm contact with the rough bit of tissue deep INSIDE just behind her pubic bone. 'DO' that at the apex of each IN stroke. You will be hitting her "G" spot! Do it successfully and she will HIT high "C" when she 'comes'. If you and she are lucky... SIN' will have a combined vaginal and clitoral orgasm for your efforts! You WILL have to scrape her off the ceiling after that!

What doesn't work for her in the 'finger fuck' department is your middle digit going STRAIGHT into her vagina with no attention being paid to her clit! She's BEEN THERE, HAD THAT... thousands of times from other men and never even got the fucking tee-shirt that goes with it! (No orgasms either.)

Men often mistakenly assume that any style of pussy digital poking will work for the woman he's with. We are naturally curious and rambunctious about a girl's sex organs... it takes a 'Tina' or a SINdora to SHOW us how to use them for HER benefit. In addition, if you and I are not benefiting SINdora then what's the use in bothering her in the first place?

She's only going to lock herself in the bathroom afterwards and finger herself to fruition. SIN' shouldn't have to DO THAT any longer... at least not on my watch she wont! She's had more post fuck masturbation sessions in private from her both of her ex husband's inept pussy poking than she cares to remember!

Let me TRY to get back on the chronological track here... not easy to do after what beautifully naked and horny SIN' just did for us! (To bad that we don't have a web cam... that would have been one marvelous bit of porn for you to see.)

Just to observe her "C" cup perfect breasts swaying while fucking from your angle of view would have been an orgasmic treat for anyone! (SIN' has an online web cam guy that jerks off for her while she masturbates... pity that he can't enjoy a similar view of her. She reserves those sessions with him when I have to work nights. She tells me that he is HUNG! One of these days she's gonna be able to tell him that she's "getting fucked" while he gives her a free show... I gotta see this guy's 'equipment' for myself! At least with the computer's audio system HE can HEAR her 'coming' on this end. I'll bet he will squirt in a hurry visualizing a stiff dick reaming SIN's delectable twat!... NO, I don't mind that she does that for some lonely horny exhibitionist! As mentioned before... I DON'T OWN HER!!!)

It doesn't matter WHERE or HOW she gets her 'APPETITE' as long as she saves some 'DESSERT' for me!

SIN' had begun letting me date and MATE with her with regularly. I burned up the concrete ribbon known as I-95 several times a week. In fairness, she, to make it more equitable, 'came' to my apartment as often as she could. For either of us to reach the other the trip took an hour one way.

For most men that would have categorized SIN' as a "G.U. female". (Geographically UNDESIRABLE!) I had never fucked a girl on a waterbed before... that was true mattress bouncing on hers, and worth the trip! (Anyone know where the Dramamine is?) That naughty woman is on familiar terms with, "how to make waves!"

SIN' as a person was more than DESIRABLE! Besides, she was full of erotic surprises! I began thinking, maybe too soon, 'I'm IN like Flynt!' with her.

Then came the nervous almost tearful phone call... "Ron, I don't know how to tell you this... I think that I may have given you THE CLAP!" I was relieved that she didn't say, "Ron I don't know how to tell you this... but... I can't see you again!"

I was so reassured that I tried to make a joke out of her candid admission. 'Hey Doll, I've never HAD IT and don't want it AGAIN!'

I went on to tell her that I DID NOT have a drippy dick associated with gonorrhea. The only dripping 'coming' from my penis was when I was horny for her! I'd had the clap once before and knew the symptoms... I was just fine. She tried to laugh but couldn't. Not even when I described my tail being punctured and filled with two ten cc syringes of penicillin! Now THAT HURT!

In my mind I knew that I hadn't given her a 'dose'... Uh oh, who had? From the start of our relationship, we had been cautiously open with each other. I asked HOW she thought that she had gotten the STD. Was she even SURE that's what she had? I made it very clear and promised that no matter whatever she told me I would not be the least bit upset.

I didn't possess her (still don't, I don't work that way.) if she needed stray fucks here and there I would be okay with it. Any revelation on her part would be hunky dory!

It more than surprised her to learn that I would be agreeable with whatever and whomever she had 'done'. The thought of her spectacular snatch in action with any stiff dick fucking it turned me on! (Any woman that likes and NEEDS SEX that much is my kinda girl! Just be honest about it. She was and gave me one more reason to fall for her!)

She had let the 'pussy' out of the bag prematurely when all she really had was a bad yeast infection! Just the same, I had to admire her honesty. When the diagnosis was in I talked her into a little phone sex with her describing the FUCK she'd given to the fellow that she thought she had "caught something" from! I in turn gave a graphic rendition of what I was doing with my erection in hand... pretending that it was her pussy wrapped around my meat! It was her turn to be relieved that I still wanted her! She also found that it turned her on to describe her prior fucking and current finger "IN" masturbating while we talked and to hear all about what she had wrought, hard and eager in my hand!

Our following naked soiree's together led to new and novel forms of fore play! If she had the nerve to fill me in quite graphically on some of her prior sexual encounters, I would share some of mine.

She led off with her initiation to the swinging life style... she had been conned into that by her first husband. Some of her SEXcapades in that arena were fun some were not. The next time sans clothing, together I filled her in on my older mentor "Tina" including the phone booth sex. ("It was a dark and stormy night"!) Sorry, couldn't resist that old hackneyed cliché! However, we did screw in a phone booth during a terrific thunderstorm! HotSexStories.com has it available for you to read.

SINdora and I were sufficiently in love and lust by then that descriptions of what the other had "DONE" was sweet sex bonbons for the ears. Voyeurism for us exhibits itself in various forms. There was no jealousy only sheer horniness at hearing the DETAILS of our sexuality and how we had used and enjoyed it before!

SIN' found it fulFILLING to hear or share a naughty episode and then get her pussy FILLED as a result! (She still does in fact... hence my cock 'coming' IN her sexy tail less than an hour ago while composing this for her, about her!) It took countless months just to provide the graphic details of ALL the fucking we had done with others! Numerous orgasms resulted from our prior transgressions, one deliciously detailed 'event' at a time.

One evening at her place seemingly out of nowhere she asked, "Which end of the toothpaste tube do you squeeze?... End or middle?" 'The end, why do you ask?', I was not sure what she was leading up to. What does dentifrice have to do with good sex? (More than you might imagine.)

"If you LIKE me enough... I wouldn't mind having you here FULL TIME! Wanna move in? Your lease is about up anyway!" LIKE HER? I was crazy nuts for SIN' and had swollen nuts FOR HER nearly every waking moment. I have done some really STUPID things in my time... letting her help me move into her place was NOT one of them!

She provided a "welcome on board" present the first night of our existence under the same roof. I had no idea just how much she LOVED porn flicks. She had borrowed eight reels of eight-millimeter fuck movies from her boss! The projector was set up next to the waterbed and the films were shown on the master bathroom door. She had lofty ambitions... the idea being to see if we could fuck to orgasms after each of the movies! We gave it the old college try... she 'came' three times and loaned her delectable pussy for my fourth ejaculation.

We repeated the 'performance' for two more nights until we had screwed our way through the entire collection! That was just the tip of the ice-berg (or tip of the vibrator) where her erotic boundaries were and are concerned! Her sexual energy is close to limitless!

We lived, loved and lusted together for nearly four years... marriage was discussed a few times. A piece of paper wasn't that important to either of us... yet... we decided to do the deed. I wanted to prove my commitment publicly once and for all, so did she.

SIN' being the organized gal that she is planned the wedding and the HONEYMOON! We said our "I do's" beneath a flowery bower at a local posh restaurant and held the small reception inside.

Because of work, we really had no time for more than a one night Honeymoon. SIN' surprised me with the location for THAT! She knew of a local adult motel where she had banged and been banged during her 'swinging era'. This time she'd arranged to fuck there with someone she loved!

The place had everything that two (or more) horny people could use as a playground. It offered mirrored walls and ceilings, with a large screen T.V. that had an amazing collection of porn movies to offer.

We played the movies while watching ourselves play with each other from unimaginable EROTIC angles! Even SINdora was amazed at her own capacity for multiple orgasms in THAT environment! We lost count of how many times she "CAME" that night. When I finally couldn't get IT UP, any longer she was relieved as her ovaries were hurting like HELL! Just to be devilish I fingered my new wife's overly sensitized pussy one last time. She started off with, "Ooh Christ, stop it"... then, "ooh Christ, oh please no more!" followed by, "OooH, OooH OH GOD PLEASE",... OH SHIT what are you DOING?"... She was looking at my finger IN her stunningly attractive pussy reflected in the overhead mirror... she knew what I was "doing"! What she could see and feel began 'getting to her' again!

I wouldn't stop and soon she was unable to let me stop! "Ooooh GOD that FEELS sooo GOOD... oh SHIT that hurts... you're MAKING ME 'COME' AGAIN! Ooooh Christ DON'T STOP NOW!... Almost,... ALMOST... HERE IT 'COMES" and SIN' began screaming her head off!

In retrospect, that WAS and yet WASN'T a NICE thing to have done to her. Still, hearing and watching her orgasmic responses is addictive. (Spell that A-DICK-TIVE maybe?) My very dead erection 'came' back to life just from being in the same room with her and THAT climax. Shit, she would have given me another hard-on if I had been standing across the street and eavesdropping.

When her innards finally calmed down, she looked at my revived Lazarus of a dick, spread her gorgeous legs and teasingly said, "Oh what the fuck... go ahead!" SIN' lifted her ass off the bed to let me IN her and she screwed my brains out better than what was showing on the T.V. and then some.

That was some honeymoon... and she is some kinda special woman!

Then there was a necessary drive we had to make to Jacksonville. To break up the tedium of the hours on the highway we began talking SEX talk and about how I was gonna fuck her senseless once we got to the motel. NO, she was gonna fuck me senseless, Uh uh, you're gonna "GET IT"! Back and forth we went.

All pure trash talk for the fun of it. I told her how, quite graphically, she was to sit on my face and get the female version of a blowjob first... all else to 'come' after that. (She does have a very tasty, edible honey hole!)

SINdora could see my boner straining to achieve freedom. She described how she had given her last husband a blowjob during the very same trip they had taken! Her description of that was so lewdly explicit that I was close to pulling off the road and fucking my irascible wife right there and then parked on the grass.

I told her what I wanted to 'do' with her IF she had the nerve to 'do it' with cars and trucks going by. The next thing I know is that SIN' is leaning over and unzipping my pants! She pulled my hard on out and began sucking it! Thankfully, the old car had bench seats... no center console to impede.

Have you ever gotten or given a blowjob at seventy miles per hour?

Now that was one scary orgasm... while trying to stay on the road. More than one truck passing us laid on the horn... thanks for the salute guys, too bad you didn't have HER for your cross country (or should that be cross CUNTry) entertainment?

When I started 'coming' Sin did her best to help steady the steering wheel from her position in my lap and my dick IN her mouth! I let loose with all I had between her lips. I couldn't prevent it or help it!

Before she put my dick back where it belonged SIN' sat up and kissed me full on the mouth. It was a deep tongue FRENCH kiss. She used that as an excuse to transfer my semen into MY mouth! "Here you deal with it! I'm fresh out of Kleenex!" she said with her naughtiest chuckle. 'Hey, move over... I can't see the road!' My own 'come' doesn't taste all that bad... I swallowed so that she'd move over just to keep us alive to misbehave again later if for no other reason. I would have spit it out of the window... but noticed a State Trooper easing in behind us! He had to be checking why there were two heads in the driver's seat.

I paid off the I.O.U. to help SINdora "SIN" again quite nicely once we checked into the motel! On the homeward trip, I let her drive,... I had horny revenge in mind. Somewhere south of Daytona, I eased her skirt up and began giving her a hand job through her panties. She tried to clamp her knees together to stop me but couldn't and still safely drive at the limit.

I wiggled my finger around until I could slip it under the leg band of her panties and onto her clit. For you, female readers... ever have a 'hand made' orgasm while driving?

When darling SIN's arrived,... her legs went stiff as they usually do... she was 'coming' and increasing the speed to twenty miles over the limit and the acceleration was not by choice. That's just the way her body responds! She was standing on the pedal because she could not control her orgasmic leg thrusts.

'HA, gottcha!'

Getting to really know my wife has been an ongoing delight... with beaucoup surprises at every turn!

We had promised each other, "To have and to hold... to LOVE, honor, and CHERISH... in sickness and in health"... all in front of witnesses as part of our wedding vows.

When I was told, "You may now KISS the bride" SIN' whispered in my ear with a faint giggle, "And may our scewing NEVER get stale!" To that I replied aloud, 'AMEN DARLIN' ' Then we KISSED as is customary... that turned into a deep soul searing tongues in mouths FRENCH kiss! The wedding guests had no doubt whatsoever what we were gonna "DO" as soon as we could get out of there!

We have kept all of our vows... I'd marry the girl again this minute if I could!

SINdora's covert wedding vow has been the most fun to keep!

We both work at continuing the loving and lusting for it to be as new and SEXciting as we can make it! For SEXample:

One night during pillow talk with us engaged in one of the 'Mutual Masturbation Society's' frequent meetings I asked SIN' if she could describe something for me.

I wondered WHAT she felt INSIDE her pussy and within her psyche when her pussy was connected and having sex! I could only assume what she experienced with my cock (or any cock) IN her... or a finger or a toy for that matter. There is no way without a pussy of my own that I could truly know what she felt! Yet, being so in love with her I needed to know! I NEEDED to be a PART OF HER!!

She attempted to explain it but the words eluded. SIN' asked if I could wait for an answer until next time. Perhaps she could give me a demo that would be "close enough for government work!"

The sheer anticipation of her unspoken blue print for a cross gender experiment had me quickly buried as far INTO SIN's pussy as I could get myself! That was one amazing pair of simultaneous orgasms! She diddled herself while I fucked my beautiful consort!

When my darling girl develops an erotic notion to SEXplore something... she PULLS OUT all the stops!

We had visited an amazingly homoerotic photo exhibit by the late Robert Maplethorpe. (His work even gave ME a hard-on and I am as straight as an arrow.) SINdora has a strong fetish for gay male sexuality... seeing and fantasizing about men 'doing stuff' with men or with themselves turns her on faster than a light switch. I can sympathize and be empathetic with men, even obviously gay men, jerking off... seeing that in pictures turns me on too... why not, I know what it is that they are enjoying... I've masturbated once or twice myself! Haven't you? No? You oughta try it some time... relieves stress better than Valium or booze! (Safer too!)

The Maplethorpe showing and one photo in particular definitely dampened her knickers! What she would TRY with me would be an attempt to duplicate the photographic image that most teased her libido. (Thanks Robert for the inspiration... sadly, you left us far too soon!)

SIN' would not tell me what she had in mind until she was actually 'doing it' with me!

On the appointed night of her demonstration, she played with me until I was as hard and as 'serviceable ' as she needed. SIN' had me look at, "The cute little HOLE" at the end of my erection... she spread it open and asked, "Looks like a miniature version of my PUSSY SLIT doesn't it? Do you remember the photo of the large black erection in Maplethorpe's collection... the erection with the black man's FINGER INSERTED all the way down INTO his own dick?" I did and so should you if you have ever seen that photo! (Amazing, artful porn.)

She figured that it must feel good, "To do that... otherwise the model would not have finger fucked his huge penis for the photo in the first place! It probably felt for him what I feel when you're fucking me!! Wanna try it?" SIN' asked me.

For her, I will and have tried just about anything that turns her on! I could see by her eyes and dilating pupils that the thought of this for her was more than arousing! 'Sure... why not' was all she needed to hear! She lubricated my index finger and I attempted to emulate the erection in the photo. NO GO! Finger too large, pussy hole too small! (How in Hell did the erect man in the photo do that?)