Bernie's Back Room 1 - Zelda free porn video

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My name is Bernie, and I own a used bookstore. No, no, no, I'm not that Bernie. I don't do burglaries on the side, I don't have a lesbian best friend - or nutty gay guy friend if you saw the movie with the fabulous black actress playing his part, and I don't solve murders in my spare time. I have an exterminator for any mice, not a cat that I have to worry about feeding all the time. And worst of all, I don't write anywhere near as well as the guy who writes about that Bernie. But still, he only hints when he writes about sex; I like to get kind of graphic.

I've also never been in jail like that other Bernie; I don't carry lock picks either. The only locks I have any interest in opening are those on chastity belts. Does anybody know what a chastity belt really looks like or how it works? Do they exist? Did they ever exist?

If you've ever been in a used bookstore, you know that there's a lot of down time in that business. There's plenty of time for me to do crossword puzzles, read oodles of books and, when the opportunity arises, lock the door and give one of my customers the fucking of her life. Believe me, the money is decent but those fringe benefits are incomparable.

Zelda waltzed into the store one day looking for that book by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Her face looked like a young thirty-something but I knew that she was much older when she told me her name. I mean, who the fuck nowadays names a girl Zelda? She had to have been at least fifty with a name like that, likely more.

Now, the way I do my seduction — which may not be the right word, because all the women who I wind up fucking — not the ones I strike out with - come into the store, if not outright looking for it, certainly aware that every man wants to fuck them and receptive to the right approach — is with my eyes. (Damn, that was some compound sentence. In school I would have been thrown out of class for writing like that. Sorry.) I don't mean looking them up and down; I can get a reasonable picture with an overall glance from the counter the second she walks through the door. And that overall glance is sufficient; as long as she's not obviously disgusting, she meets my criteria. What are my criteria? Simple. If I can get my rocks off every couple of hours without having to take the cunt out to dinner or a movie and without throwing up, she'll do.

When I say every couple of hours, I don't mean to suggest that my batting average is anywhere near that good. That's simply my fantasy goal. I don't even score every day or even close to every day, unless you want to count the palm and five fingers that I can always rely on in the apartment or in the back room at the store. And that's what I do every few hours, even if I do manage to get laid or blown on the job. That's why I put in the room with no windows except for the one-way mirror like they use on Law and Order, so I can be getting myself off and still see if any customers come into the store. But if I've got willing female company back there, I do lock the front door. Imagine what would happen if I pulled out of a woman just as she was about to get off in order to ring up a five dollar sale.

Not that I put any special effort into making the woman cum. I mean, I'll hold back for a little while to give her a chance, but my real fun is letting go with my white stuff whenever my balls say so, whether she's ready or not, if you know what I mean.

So what I'm saying about my eyes is that I use them to hold the cunt's attention. I look into hers without trying to stare her down. I'm not a Wild West gunslinger, I'm just trying to communicate with her without having to say 'let's fuck' out loud — that's for later. Sometimes she'll blink and turn away, and I'll know that I went too far or just struck out. Shit, most of the time they turn away. But that's life. Anyway, sometimes she'll hold my gaze, sort of like 'I get you but don't bother me, I'd rather go home to my vibrator' or some thought equally dismissive.

But every once in a while she'll smile back at me, like 'oh, there's someone who'd like to fuck as much as I would, let's see if I want to follow up, ' and then I know that I've got a fighting chance. So I'll stay behind the counter and ask her, in a voice that she'll have to lean forward to hear, if I can help her. Maybe she'll say that she's just browsing; then I'll stay where I am and follow her with my eyes through the various mirrors hung up to deter shoplifters. Or maybe she'll ask for a certain section, or even a specific book, and I'll answer her like any good merchant.

All I'm looking for is a chance to start a conversation. Forget the weather; it turns them off. One of my friends touted me onto 'where are you from?' Non threatening, shows mild interest, allows them free rein to talk about themselves. If her hand ever touches the counter, I'll put mine on top of hers while I say something soft to her. Whatever. My nose twitches, her nose twitches and my cock starts to fill with blood.

Zelda, as I said, was looking for Fitzgerald. One of the benefits of my business is that, with so much to read and so much time to do it, I can hold a decent conversation on a lot of different subjects. So we got into a discussion about Gatsby and the Roaring Twenties — that's before my time, her time and your time too.

Her name actually fit; it reminds me of a slightly plump woman, which she was. OK, let's be politically correct and just call her 'full-figured'. But still not Rubenesque. Whichever; I just needed something to fuck. Her jeans and blouse fit properly, neither tight nor baggy; she had obviously spent good money in a quality shop to take advantage of her size.

"Ah yes," she said, "those Roaring Twenties must have been like the sixties." She said it as though with fond memories.

"You're kidding," I responded. "You're not old enough to remember the sixties." Of course she was, and I damn well knew it. Remember, she had already told me that her name was Zelda. "You must have heard about them from your parents," I added for good measure.

"Do not fool yourself, little man," she riposted with a smile, laying her soft hand on mine.

Little man? I'm six-four, a solid two hundred ten, thirty two years old. I towered over her in height and weight and, forgive me if I don't blush, but I've been told that I'm, let's just say, 'hung'. I tell myself that I'm not ugly, which is true, but that I don't have a movie star face, which is also true. To round out the picture, I've been divorced for seven years, with neither alimony nor child support payments to worry about, so I can afford to live on what the store brings in.

I do take some no small measure of pride in that 'hung' business though. That's sort of why I'm divorced. My Peter The Great — I always capitalize him like that — forever needs attention. While my ex-wife was willing to try everything — and that's the absolutely correct word, everything, including stuff I won't even write about — she got tired of trying every variation every three or four hours. Especially all night long, when she had to get up in the morning to go to work. So she left me for an older guy whose testosterone was starting to dry up, or whatever the technical word is for a worn out cock.

"Little man?' I repeated, with a smile and a brief, very brief but still deliberate glance down toward my zipper. I could have said 'Little man? I'll show you something that ain't so little', but by that time the only thing left in doubt was whether or not Zelda would take it up the ass. And that really didn't matter, so long as I was going to get my balls emptied without straining my right arm and wasting a tissue.

So three minutes later, after a quick scan of all the mirrors to make sure that no one else was wandering the stacks, I locked the front door and hung the sign that said 'Back in One Hour'. Since no passersby would know when I had put up the sign, it was good for a fifteen minute quickie blow job or a two hour fuck-her-front-and-back marathon. Whatever; Peter The Great could handle it. I left the lights on, to induce people to come back sooner or later.

We adjourned to the room with the window that looks out but you can't look in, though I had no intention of looking out since the door was locked. I wasn't really afraid that the other Bernie, the one in the books, would pick the door lock, sneak in and steal my inventory of unsalable old books.

What that room also had was a small convertible chair that opened up into a single bed. It was good for the occasional nap. The chair was always open to the bed position. There didn't seem to be any good reason to jeopardize a romantic — no, make that lustful - moment with furniture issues. It meant that I had to be sure that I had left no pecker tracks on the sheet that wouldn't wash out and that the next guest would see. No problem! Since most of my fucking is one on top of the other, it also served purposes other than napping. If the cunt had any interest in real sleep — which never happens on the first date, if we can call it a date — then we have to use my apartment or hers. I always preferred hers, unless it was out of the way or unless she had a husband tucked away there.

Not that I'd ever have the nerve to try it, but every once in a while I have this sick fantasy that maybe I should skip the sheets and use one of those pull-down rolls of paper like the doctor uses on his examination table. Alas, I had no doubt that it would scare away almost every one of them that I got into that back room. Not all of them, though; one or two might be kinky enough to get a laugh out of it.

Oh yes, to get back to the story, I have no compunctions about fucking a married woman. If the husband can't take care of her, then it's Peter The Great to the rescue. Of course, the married ones are less likely to be demanding about things like dinners and flowers and diamonds. I don't have diamonds, can't afford them any more. If that's what the cunt wants, then let her fuck the Bernie who does the burgling.

Every woman who goes into that back room, knowing what's going to happen, loves it when I come up behind her and wrap my hands around her back, squeezing her tits. Maybe it's the rape fantasy, maybe she's happy that the guy is bothering with foreplay. Zelda's tits were a handful, which was all to the good. I've never studied bra sizes but I figured that she must have been a 36D. Well, like they say, anything more than a handful — or a mouthful — is wasted.

Sure enough, when I put my hands on her, Zelda leaned back against me, the universal signal that she liked it, keep going. I fleetingly thought back to the days when I really deserved to be called a little man, a skinny kid at age thirteen with pimples and a perpetual hard-on. If I had tried that to her and she had leaned back against me, she would have knocked me on my ass. But shit, it might have been worth it.

I began to nibble the back of Zelda's neck as I fiddled with her knobs. She could feel Peter The Great pushing through her skirt; I could tell because I felt it also. However, I thought that if I could get her clothing off, I could get at least two cums out of her. Actually, I guess that I meant to say into her. Seriously, with her clothes on, she could just suck my cock and then go home, but naked, that's a sign that she expects to have her pussy fucked. That's either in addition to or instead of the blow job.

And there's no way I can ever get in through some cunt's asshole unless I fuck her first. Not unless she's a pro, and I've never paid for it in my life. Wellllllll, there is one exception to that, but I don't want to talk about it now; I'm embarrassed. Plus I can't afford to pay for it now.

So I deliberately played with the buttons in front of her hooters. Open a button, kiss her neck, squeeze her tits. Open another button, kiss her neck, squeeze her tits. Sooner or later I would run out of buttons, and sure enough it happened. I try to prolong it, not to make her cum, about which I don't give a fuck, but to make her think that I do care so she'll be willing to stay longer. That's also why I don't ask them how much time they have. They'll tell me when they want to quit but there's no need to give them the idea.

Zelda's blouse was wide open. She herself pulled the bottom out of her skirt so that I could get my hands in back to open the bra. I expected a triple hooker but she was wearing only a double. What the hell, if her back can take it, who am I to give a damn. It's not like I'm going to have to pay for her medical care. Sure enough, when I got the second hook open, her tits literally exploded free. They hung down, a function of their weight and her age.

I put my hands on the bare tits and began to play anew, my thumbs flicking her nips. They had already popped out hard. From behind I couldn't see them yet but they felt like at least three quarters of an inch. Zelda's hands went up to her chest. She pushed my thumbs away and began to diddle her own nipples; at least she allowed me to play with the rest of the fleshy orbs surrounding those center pieces.

Her self stimulation quickly had her breath ragged. This cunt was definitely ready for anything; I knew that the sheet on the pullout would be soaked before she left the store. I thought it might be a good one to keep on the shelf for a while to have something to sniff at when I needed to flog my log.

I began to slide the blouse off of Zelda's shoulders. She had to take her hands off of her nipples for me to get the sleeves off, but they returned immediately to the task she had assigned them. Since she seemed to attach so much significance to those nipples, I thought that it would be a good idea to turn her toward me and to nurse on them.

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Melissa was a winner. Leaving the boardroom without a deal was not an option and two of her three adversaries were leading her down a path that would have ended in a stalemate.It was not her style.Brian, the younger of the two businessmen and Amy, the technical guru were the most awkward and kept stalling on every technical point that Melissa had a resolution for. The older gent, Mathew Davies, the one with the salt and pepper hair and moustache was more or less on her side all the way through,...

Office Sex
4 years ago
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Cheerleaders and Linebackers Part 2

Cheerleaders & Linebackers By Sabrina G. Langton Part 2 It was toward the end of December and we were having coffee on the couch. "Since you are off work the rest of the year Ava has a surprise for you. I'm a little skeptical, well I'm alot skeptical, but she says it will be good for you," Lydia warned me on Sunday morning. "She wants you dressed and ready to go by three PM. I will meet you at Ross’s apartment later." I really didn't like being with Ava, and I had never been...

2 years ago
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The Rush How the Linebacker Met the Cheerleader

I am an adrenaline junkie, but not in the way you would imagine one to be. My high comes when I go to places I shouldn't and do nasty things with a guy or a girl: bathroom stalls, public places, you name it and I get wet instantly. It’s the thrill of getting caught that heightens my excitement. The very first instance of my adrenaline rush came when I first began college at State. I had attended a basketball game my freshman year when a guy sat next to me and ran his hand up my leg. Lucky for...

College Sex
3 years ago
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Navy LarksChapter 3 Tony Stands in for the Bridegroom

Next morning Tony awoke to a sort of orderly confusion. Debbie had left his bed sometime earlier, he showered and dressed and went down to the kitchen for Breakfast, but Debbie looking quite bleary eyed after her late night with him sent him back to his room to change into civvies. She followed him, to help him select suitable clothes, which was a bad move because it took quite a long time to complete the task. She was amazed at his stamina and he at her enthusiasm, and it was with great...

3 years ago
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Roomie readys me for my date

Unplanned I swear…My sorority sisses used to sometimes do road trips to the mall and almost always alcohol was involved! Lots of pranks and dares and jokes and harmless fun. Inhibitions went out the window, which was why we did our philandering at another city from where our college was located, for fear of being recognized. My roomie was quite bold and risqué most of the time. This particular day was a lot of fun since I was not the designated driver to get us back to campus.I had a date that...

Lesbian
2 years ago
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The Grooms SonChapter 2

Venerable Hall Elizabeth remembered having been perfectly satisfied with the groom's work until that Constable had arrived. He had tried to be subtle and just ask vague questions about Professor Willets. Her groom was a professor, suddenly? It had been all too intriguing to leave alone. She had mentioned the heat and how good an ale would taste, then she had invited him to the kitchen. Two ales later she knew a lot more about the professor than she wanted to know or felt comfortable...

4 years ago
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Deja Vu AscendancyChapter 38 I Give Carol Much More Than a Backrub

Sunday, April 10, 2005 (Continued) Everything was good with the world, until Carol suddenly sat up with an anguished cry of, "Oh, NO!" She burst into tears, sobbing repeated, "Oh nos." I'd only ever seen one other girl orgasm before, but I was pretty sure this wasn't normal. Fortunately I was currently soft, so I was able to twist around. The leg she had pinned was well lubricated, so easily rotated. I sat up and put my arms around her, and wished my underwear had a pocket with a...

3 years ago
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After the darkroom

The days that followed the party, Sara seemed to be almost flirtatious with me. I was sure she knew it was me in the darkroom. I would catch her walking around in her night shirt or bikini. She would have a little extra sway in her hips as she passed by, as if to say “Look at my ass.” I swear she would find things to suck on in front of me jus to tease me with that big smile across her face. Still she didn’t mention anything about it directly. As the days passed her flirtation...

3 years ago
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Sunroom Construction Job

The events of this story took place when I was twenty years old, 6'-0", 185lbs, fit, with light brown hair and blue eyes.Brenda had gotten my name from the instructor at the trade school I had taken my pre-apprentice carpentry course. She lived in a townhouse that backed onto a large overgrown green space and wanted a sunroom built to enclose her small concrete patio. Brenda was forty-eight, divorced and lived alone. Her body was nice enough that she looked pretty good in the bikini she always...

Exhibitionism
2 years ago
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roomate secret

He came to drop his stuff in his room after my last roommate drop from the program i had received txt and emails telling me i would get a new roomate from the University administrationhe was a bit on the chubby side , taller than me and dark skin as night I watch him get his stuff in and offered some helphe was cool. he went to get some beer after we finished and went staight to his room , one of the box i moved had made me curious the sissy word with a sharpen on the box side made me too...

2 years ago
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The Outback Affair

6 months... 6 horrible months have almost dragged their sorry asses by since I moved to this hole of a location that's called western Australia. The capital of the worst stereotypes of Aussies you could possible imagine. Of course, however, they're not all bad. After all, I do have a few friends here, thankfully. I moved here from Melbourne because my Mum's work transferred her temporarily, I would've been able to stay but my Dad is in the army and was off on some mission of some...

4 years ago
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Phone Sex The Courtroom

Judge John Evans was leaving his Chambers and making his way to the courtroom for the trial of Jonathan Williams, a self-confessed burglar who had been up before the bench more times than the judge had had hot dinners. But this case was different. Soon after raiding a house, he was caught having sex in the back of his car with the loot still in the trunk. It was a fair cop and the police were in two minds whether to charge him for burglary or charge both of them for indecent exposure. With the...

Masturbation
2 years ago
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TVS Showroom Se Bedroom Tak

Hello friends, aapko shiv ka namaskar, dosto ye meri life ki pehli kamukta story hai joki publish kar raha hu,ye ghatna puri tarah se sach ahi aur bas name and place changed hai, I hope u enjoy this story. Toh ye start hota hai jab main engi. 2nd yr mein tha pune mein aur mujhe nayi bike leni thi toh maine mere uncle ko bataya jo wahi rehte the and unhonne tvs apache book karadi,I was very happy about it. Sorry friend main khid bare mein batana bhul gaya main ek normal sa bachelor hu with lean...

2 years ago
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BACKSTAGE PASS AT A ROCK CONCERT

One weekend late in my junior year, my favorite hard rock band was coming to play at an arena in nearby Columbus, OH. As it turned out, my boyfriend was tied up that weekend and couldn’t go to the concert with me. I decided to go anyway, and then had a crazy idea pop into my head…..I wanted to try to get backstage and party with the band. I had never done this before, but I kind of knew how it worked….you dress like a slut, try to catch the eye of the security guys or manager-types who are...

3 years ago
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The Dragons BackboneChapter 5 The King is coming

We laid Clonk to rest under a great cairn of stones just outside the camp. The captain and squad chanted an old soldier's dirge to mark his passing, the first of our squad. I knelt before the cairn and thought about Clonk's life and death. He had crept out in the middle of the night to raid the wine store, so the devils in his life had lead to his death. But his manner of death had saved our lives; he had surprised the assassin at work preparing to kill us all. If he hadn't, at least most...

1 year ago
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Deadly Domme Judges Courtroom

Each of the five big lucious female judges is sitting on the face of and smothering a male even while presiding over these cases. "Lets see our first case then" announced one, who's ass was pressing down heavily on a man underneath her - he was being crushed, suffocated and humilated to death all at the same time. A young woman aged 21 entered the courtroom, and a man in his 40s with a pair of worn girl's panties, probably hers and fresh, stuffed in his mouth. "The young woman is named Jenifer....

Adult Humor
3 years ago
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The Backstage Pass

Brittany was on her side with her history text book in front of her when she suddenly bolted upright on her bed. She pushed aside her homework which knocked a couple of sheets of paper onto the carpet. Did the radio DJ just say what she thought he said? Could it be true? The DJ continued, " ... so when you hear two songs in a row by Flutterdung be the 11th caller to win two upfront tickets plus backstage passes for after the show." He did say it! Flutterdung! That was her favorite band!...

3 years ago
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BACKWOODS GIRL

Backwoods Girl By Blueheatt &hellip,When they put a big highway thru a very rural backwoods part of this area, the people there were not to happy. Young boys shot BB guns at the cars, and threw rocks at them, to no avail. &hellip,I drove down the new highway looking for old vintage cars to buy cheap. I got off the main highway and I got lost in the maze of unmarked dirt roads. &hellip,..I had stopped to ask directions. It was a rundown old farm house at the end of a road you couldnt drive...

4 years ago
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FIRST TIME WITH MY ROOMIErsquoS MARRIED brother

My first lesbian experience, at least outside of my family, was with Brenda, my college freshman roomy. As things turned out, she had an older brother. He was married but like a lot of husbands, was ready for something new – or should I say “someone”. The best part was that it wasn’t just me he was interested in!When I was a freshman in college my roommate turned out not only to be extremely cute but bisexual as well. Brenda was the first girl I was with outside of my family and needless to...

2 years ago
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Sex With Girlfriend8217s Roomie

Hi all lusty readers. Myself Raaz from Ranchi (Jharkhand) and any horny female from Ranchi looking for hot sex or chat pls mail me on “”. Coming to the story, She was one of an average horny girl always looking for a cock to fuck her glory hole and ass. How Hot and steamy sex with girlfriends lusty Roomie in theater. KAISE MAINE USKI CHUT KA KACAHMOOR NIKALA AUR USKI GAAND KA gURGAON BANAYA. yE STORY EK THEATRE ME HUI FAST SEX AUR LUST KI KAHANI HAI. Kaise hum dono ne theatre me khule aam sex...

2 years ago
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Payback That Backfired

My wife and some of my friends tell me I’m a total asshole. I know I can be a little inflexible at times but an asshole? Never. I was always taught as I grew up to do the right thing, be honest and ethical. Sometimes I think I am maybe a little too inflexible when it comes to ethics and doing the right thing. I suppose, looking back at what I did I wasn’t honest and ethical but I plead momentary (well maybe not so momentary) insanity. Hell, that plea gets hardened criminals off or a lesser...

4 years ago
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Payback That Backfired

My wife and some of my friends tell me I'm a total asshole. I know I can be a little inflexible at times but an asshole? Never. I was always taught as I grew up to do the right thing, be honest and ethical. Sometimes I think I am maybe a little too inflexible when it comes to ethics and doing the right thing. I suppose, looking back at what I did I wasn't honest and ethical but I plead momentary (well maybe not so momentary) insanity. Hell, that plea gets hardened criminals off or a lesser...

4 years ago
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I fuck the Groomsmen at my Cousinrsquos Wedding

So, a cousin of mine was getting married at a winery. This is after Covid Restrictions lifted in Australia so it was a normal wedding for the most part. In order to attend her wedding, I wore a strapless cocktail dress.Anyways I get dressed for the wedding (with plenty of masturbation along the way), then drive over to my parent’s house as we were all leaving for the wedding together. Once at the wedding we sort of split up and everyone attends to their own thing. I sort of hang out with my...

1 year ago
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My Wet Spot in the Boardroom

A buzz came from the secretary's desk, and Kara motioned for Kathy to go into the room, giving her a thumb's up as she passed the desk. Kathy winked back at her, giving her an all-knowing look. Kathy gave her suit one last check for lint or wrinkles, checked her reflection in the glass by the door, and went into the boardroom. Kathy took a look around the room. A huge mahogany table dominated the room. Five men sat around one end of the table designed for 12. In the corner was a fully...

1 year ago
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Lucyna Polish Boardroom Bang

A few years ago, I got into an extra curricular relationship with a Polish girl at work. We were both seeing other people at the time, so everything that was wrong about it was very wrong, but we couldn’t leave each other alone and the lack of opportunities was making us both hornier by the day. We would steal kisses in the lift, or spend 10 minutes in a bathroom, but in a fairly small building, it wasn’t easy to be alone or find time when either of us wouldn’t be missed. We’d nip out for...

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