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Flashback – Ben – A new mission

The first layover was complete and we were back on the plane. We were also, for the most part, back in the good graces of most of our fellow Marines. I leaned over toward Jack and complained, "You sure came up with some crazy-assed stories about Russia. Hell, I had a terrible time keeping up with all your bullshit."

Jack gave me a satisfied smirk and self-righteously answered, "I didn't tell them anything they didn't want to hear."

Jack was correct, even though he stretched the truth to almost the breaking point, it was clearly what the other Marines wanted to hear. I figured I would lighten the mood on the plane so I loudly asked, "What do you call and Iraqi with a camel and a goat?"

Someone toward the front of the plane moaned and complained, "Not that old joke! You call them bisexual."

There was some laughter so I continued with the jokes, "Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in Iraq?"

One of the Marines yelled, "Because there are Targets on every corner."

More laughter that time so I was motivated to continue, "What's the difference between an Iraqi woman and a catfish."

This time there was no answer so I yelled, "One has whiskers and smells like a fish and the other is a fish."

There was a huge amount of laughter this time - so loud that it created problems...

Flashback – Captain M – A new mission

The Marines in the back of the plane started laughing like crazy which woke up the Boney bitch. Following her primal instinct she ordered, "Captain, get your ass back there and see what the hell the Marines are laughing about."

I slowly exited my seat but the Boney bitch screeched, "Captain, move your lazy ass!"

The boney bitch could order me around but she sure as hell couldn't tell me how damn fast to move. I ambled toward the back of the plane and a familiar voice quizzed, "What do you call an evil Iraqi?"

One of the other Marines answered, "Mu Ha, Ha, Ha, Med."

The Marines burst into uncontrolled laughter and I chided, "Just what the hell is so damn funny about that joke! A sure way to piss off the Iraqi's is to insult Mohammed. Sgt. Blaine, that's enough of the jokes!"

The Marines began to complain so I nipped it in the bud, "Well, if you think that joke is so damn funny, then all of you can drop in the aisle and give me a hundred."

There was groaning as they complied with my order...

Flashback – Jack and Ben – A new mission

I was in the aisle doing fucking pushups with the rest of the Marines and complained to Banzai, "Shit Banzai, don't do anything the rest of the flight and we just..."

I didn't finish because the fucking plane hit an air pocket, we dropped like a rock and the next thing I knew I was falling from the ceiling to the floor. I made sure I landed fine and was feeling okay until some big fuck Marine crashed down on top of me...

The fucking Captain M didn't like my jokes so he had all of us doing pushups in the aisle, which didn't really work because there were too many of us to all fit in the aisle at the same time. The fucking pilots hit an air pocket and the plane dropped like a rock. I was able to wriggle around and land on my feet while Jack was doing okay until some big fucking gorilla fell on top of him.

I jumped through our row, helped the gorilla Marine off Jack, checked him and found he was unconscious. I yelled, "Corpsman! We need a corpsman back here immediately."

My chant was taken up by others on the flight and soon all you could hear were moans from the injured and calls for a corpsman...

Flashback – Captain M – A new mission

Son of a bitch! What a terrible time for this to happen. I had the Marines doing pushups in the aisle when all hell broke loose. The next thing I know the Boney bitch is beside me screeching, "Captain, what the fuck did you do to the men!"

I glared at her and countered, "I was just following your orders, Sir!"

She glared right back and me and countered my counter with, "I sure as hell didn't order you to have our men get out of their seats."

She barked like the bitch she was, "Everyone that is able get back in your seats immediately and fasten your seatbelts. Those that can't move under their own volition wait until a Navy Corpsman evaluates you before you try to move back to your seat."

She spits at me, "Captain, if our mission in Iraq is compromised by this boneheaded act of yours, I will make sure that you hang for it. Now accompany me while we ascertain the extent of the damage you created."

We made our way toward the back of the plane - through the many Marines still in the aisle who were waiting for a corpsman. We were almost to the rear of the plane when I saw Sgt. Blaine kneeling beside a prostrate Sgt. Reynolds. The boney bitch looked at them, then looked at me, moved closer and whispered, "Captain, the old man has some special plans for the two of them, so you had better pray to God that Sgt. Reynolds is okay."

Then she shrieked, "Corpsman! We need a corpsman here immediately."

A corpsman arrived, Sgt. Reynolds woke up and asked, "Where's the fucking bus that hit me."

The corpsman order, "Stay still and tell me where it hurts."

Sgt. Reynolds replied, "My lower back feels like hell."

The corpsman probed his back, Sgt. Reynolds jumped, the corpsman looked up at us and stated, "Sirs, I think it's probably a back strain, but it could also be disc injuries. We will know better when we get an MRI at the hospital."

Sgt. Blaine and the corpsman assisted Sgt. Reynolds, who was in obvious pain, into his seat. Sgt. Blaine fastened the belt after Sgt. Reynolds was seated. Then maneuvered through the row of seats, got in my face and threatened, "Captain M, if Jack is..."

He never got to finish (unfortunately or I would have had his ass) because the Boney bitch interrupted, "Sgt. Blaine ten hut!" He snapped to attention and she continued, "Sgt. don't say or do something stupid. I will make sure the Captain pays for his idiocy. Now get back in your seat as I ordered."

He glared at me, sat down and fastened his seat belt...

Flashback – Jack and Ben – A new mission

I didn't want to make a big fucking deal out of it right now because there was nothing that could be done about it, but my lower back was seriously fucked up! Banzai and the Navy corpsman helped me back into my seat and strapped me in, but the pain and spasms were so bad in my back I couldn't sit still. The corpsman gave me some pills but they weren't doing shit!

Colonel Maggie and fucking asshole Captain M left, Banzai reached into one of his pockets, produced a flask, handed it to me and said, "Drink this, it should help."

I smiled and Banzai and said, "I thought alcohol was verboten on this flight."

He softly chuckled, "It's only forbidden if you get caught, now drink up and enjoy."

I unscrewed the cap on the flask and took a big slug. I expected Banzai's normal Knob Creek, but this was a surprise: It was smooth as hell going down, much smoother than Knob Creek. Shit this might be the best bourbon I ever tasted. I asked, "What the hell is this?"

Banzai laughed softly and answered, "It's Pappy Van Winkles Family Reserve, there's hardly any better bourbon in the world."

I took another slug and stated, "Shit, it's a shame to drink such a fine bourbon in such a cavalier manner."

Banzai again chuckled and answered, "Don't worry, I have a few more bottles stashed in my rifle case for special occasions."

I held the flask toward Banzai and asked, "Do you want a snort?"

Banzai shook his head, "No, just take your time and enjoy. But be careful, it will kick your ass."

I took Banzai's recommendation and enjoyed it. By the time we landed in Baghdad I wasn't feeling any pain...

Flashback – Masha – At the market

After being treated rudely and insulted by the salesgirl and the жирная свинья (fat pig) customer behind me in line, I left all my groceries on the belt and started to leave the market. I was almost to the door, when a rather obese man came up to me and said, "Excuse me Ma'am, I am the manager of the store and just witnessed the unfortunate encounter you had with our salesgirl and customer. We value all our customers equally and I would like to find some way to rectify the situation if possible."

I was not certain I believed this man so I questioned, "Why should you care about my business since I am only one person. A large store such as this must have many customers."

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Revenge of a Goddess, Part II By Limbo's Mistress Chapter Three Once we were outside, I descended the steps to the sidewalk running along the front of the house, turned left, and began strolling down the street. Despite never having been here before, I knew every aspect of the neighborhood. Kat fell into step beside me, and I noticed she was glancing around with a slightly perplexed expression on her face. "Yeah," I said, a shudder running up my spine at the breathy,...

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Monkeys PenisChapter 11 One Mother of a Bus Ride

Lisa Diaz looked out the window as the buildings rolled by. She was taking the bus across town to meet her sister, Tina, then the two were going to go shopping for an anniversary present for their parents. Lisa had followed her sister's example of not even trying to do the car-at-college thing. Even if you could afford the payments and insurance, you had to be a pit bull to get a parking space on campus. Lisa smiled: Tina apparently liked being carless so much that she still hadn't gotten...

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A Late Night Interruption

A knock on the office door. Andi is surprised to hear it. It's after eleven and this was Kate's long day teaching yoga; Andi assumed she would be sound asleep by now. She lets Kate know she can come in and then goes back to typing her exposé on collusion in the city mayoral race.After a moment of silence, Andi looks up from her laptop screen and sees a long leg provocatively extended into the doorway, a bare foot at the end twirling playfully. She rolls her eyes. Kate knows she has a deadline...

Lesbian
3 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 576

???????????????? ???????? Alphqwe is being a shit disturber again!!! ???? (Insure that your health insurance is up to date first) If you really want your wife to remember this years Xmas, don’t buy her jewelry, furs or even a car. Buy her a mop. ???????????????? ???????????????? ???????? Biiguy came through again ???????? When Jesus brought the 5 loaves, Gautama made his contribution. So everyone has Bread and Buddha If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? Imagine a world where monkeys have given up...

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Training with Max

Well, summer is around the corner and I decided it was time to get in shape for my summer clothes.  I bit the bullet and signed up at a fitness center not too far from my house and even sprang for the extra cost of a fitness trainer while I was at it.  I figured it might do me some good to have someone that would make sure that I was doing everything the way that I needed to.My first trip was a couple of weeks ago and was quite an ordeal.  I met Max, my trainer and got started.  The first thing...

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The girl who lied

It was freshman year and I had a freind name Romeo. We wear really good friends, but the only problem is he has a sister. She was both our ages, and she wasn't even hot. Ever time I would spend the night out at Romeos house I would try and go through her panties but never succeeded. I got close but I would always almost get caught but was lucky and never did. Romeo got very suspetious so I stopped trying after a while. It was one night that me and Romeo had too many beers like always. So...

4 years ago
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A Fine Substitute

I had just stepped out of the shower after work when I heard my phone announce a message. I grabbed a towel, dried off one arm, and tapped the screen. What I saw brought a wide smile to my face. “Bored and horny. Come over?” the message read. Natalie and I had been friends with benefits for a couple of years. The sex was great, and it was easier than trying to play the dating game or find someone to hook up with all the time. We both had hectic schedules between college and part-time jobs, so...

4 years ago
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The Passenger Seat Chapter 3 and 4 Blotter and

BLOTTER TARA HADN’T MISSED a workout in the week since the neighbors arrived. She couldn’t explain her new-found motivation, but she was thankful for it.Perhaps it was the presence of a beautiful new neighbor, and the possibility that Sean would be secretly admiring her. Maybe it was inspired by the prospect of being naked in the light of day. She could name a thousand things she hated about her body, and darkness had always been her friend.Truth be told, her daily route took her past Adam and...

3 years ago
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Pati Ne Apni Patni Mujse Chudwai

Hi Guys,i am vishal again from Delhi,yeh ek sacchi story hai,yeh jab ki hai jab main college main padta tha aur college main ladkiyo ke bich main bahut famous bhi tha.mujhe college main har koi janta tha. Ek din main college ki canteen main betha to mujhe mere mobile pe call aaya Vishal : Hello Unknown person : Hello Vishal Vishal : Aap kaun hai? Unknown Person : tumhara dost aur main tumse milna chahta hoon !!!! Vishal : Ok. Theek hai….Aap kal mere college aajao, main 1 baje canteen main...

2 years ago
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Orbital AcademyChapter 4

I wonder if this is an abuse of power, Jane idly mused, dragging her carbon scraper across the nose of her cruiser. She had been pondering the question for the past few hours, as the rookies complained and joked and chatted around her. The problem is that on the one hand, I can't resist a man who knows his way around a cruiser and can keep it clean ... but on the other, any pilot worth anything will have that knowhow... Jane finally decided that these mechanic exercises were for the...

3 years ago
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wild memorial day

Hello every one, hope everyone doing great I try my best to go in detail much as I could in this story its not that old just happen to me week ago I wish I could have write sooner but I was not much of my self to sit and write And also sorry because this story its longer then my other stories I have post my story is not make in my mind or fantasy its all real experiences I had I stay in black neighborhood and all most of my experiences with black male then white guys and its true bigger its...

2 years ago
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Hard Time Book 4Chapter 14

A year has passed. We are in contact with Atlanta by the radio that they furnished. Their operator has become part of our community and we have exchanged persons on an irregular but frequent basis. We haven't heard from the Sin Loos during this period. I didn't know to be worried or not. We continued to patrol with the Lu's who were our close allies with people traveling back and forth all the time, particularly from Dorset. Old Charlie was showing a little bit of age but wasn't willing...

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Mother in law canrsquot handle her alcohol

Chapter 1So last weekend I was home alone as my wife and her mother had gone out for the evening.It got to around 11.30pm before I received the first message from my wife. As per usual her Mum had taken it too the extreme and was completely wasted. By 12.30 they were in a taxi on the way home to ours. Just what I needed, a drunken MIL getting in the way.So basically for as long as we have been together our sex life has been great, no complaints. But as soon as my wife gets out for the evening,...

1 year ago
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Melissa Gets More Surprises

“So, sweetheart, what are we going to do while the house is a man-free zone?” Robert had to visit his parents for the weekend at short notice; too short for the three of them to go together. Melissa had some commitments at college on the Saturday morning, and Sarah was reluctant to leave her by herself. It was not that she was not capable, but a lot had happened this last few weeks, and they all thought that some serious ‘girlie’ time was overdue. “Mummy, can we talk about sex please? Can we be...

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Blazing Success

CHAPTER 1 Redman Gallagher and wife Drew kept putting off the decision but finally the twins pressed them for the verdict: Who would go on to college. The parents argued, shouted, slammed doors and swore at each other. ‘You’ll be going to college Danny,’ said his sister. ‘Dad will wear mom down.’ ‘But Blaze that’s not fair. You are my academic superior and dad and mom have to admit that.’ ‘To misquote, nothing is fair in love and war. We agreed not to negotiate with them and to accept...

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I Filmed Mom As Pornstar Slut

Hi friends, I have so much interested to write sex stories especially incest sex stories, taboo. More adults would like to think their homes are sluts and playing with them same as like. Here I could narrate a thing which I believe u feel and like it and make sure to send your reviews and comments on it Let’s go to story, in my family me, mom and my father are only there. I was born very early when my father got married. I’m the only son to my family. My mom and father had love married couples...

Incest
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Wow vacation

I liked to go swimming early in the morning and this place had a beautiful secluded pool that was only for our villa. I had been swimming laps for about 10 minutes when I looked up to see Carla watching me. Carla liked to swim as much as I do and she was great on the diving board. I hadn’t seen Carla since the summer before and I didn’t remember her looking like this. She was wearing a white bikini that had a tube top that barely covered her boobs and a string bottom. I stopped swimming...

2 years ago
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Going GoingChapter 10

"May I help you?" Amy asked of the girl who walked in the door of the principal's office. Jean looked up and saw Megan. "Amy, do you know my daughter, Megan?" Jean asked. "No," blushed Amy, "I'm afraid I don't. I'm pleased to meet you, Megan." "I'm pleased to meet you too, Amy," answered Megan brightly. "Mom has told me a bit about you. She says you've been elected her right-hand-man, as it were. Not that you leave the least doubt but what you're a beautiful young...

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