A Well Lived Life Book 4 BethanyChapter 10 Who is Jennifer Block
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March 1985, Chicago, Illinois
The rest of Sunday, the last day of March, was calm and relaxing. I had wanted to watch the NASCAR race at Bristol on ESPN, but it had rained all afternoon in Tennessee and the race was postponed a week. It wasn’t usual for NASCAR to race on Easter weekend, but they would this year, though on Saturday instead of Sunday. Bill Elliott had won his second race of the year in Atlanta two weeks previously, and was looking strong.
Most of my housemates left for home for Spring Break before dinner. Sofia stayed because she wasn’t planning to fly home, so we had the house more or less to ourselves. I cooked us a nice dinner and we spent some time talking and watching MTV.
About 9:00pm, Jennifer called and confirmed her flight information with me. She was sounding better, though she and Josie hadn’t moved past a bit of cuddling. I reminded her that Josh and Mary would be at the house, as we’d discussed, and that Sofia was still in town. I told her I was really looking forward to seeing her. I didn’t tell her about Becky, because the last thing I wanted to do was upset her. I’d decide whether or not to raise that subject when we talked.
I had no sooner hung up the phone than it rang again and I answered.
“Hi, Steve! This is Aimee!”
“Hi, Aimee. What’s up?”
“I was just calling to confirm that we’re flying Bethany up to Chicago on the 13th, and we also have everything set for the 18th.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it! Do I need to call my dad with the details?”
“No. My dad talked to him. What are you doing next Saturday night?”
“The 6th? I don’t have any plans. Why?”
“I was thinking of flying our Piper Archer up to Meigs. Will you take me to dinner?”
“Sure. That’s a long way to come for dinner.”
“A couple of hours each way isn’t a big deal. Besides, I was hoping that you’d invite me to stay the night!”
“I suppose I could,” I chuckled. “Your dad is OK with this?”
“Absolutely! I’ve flown the Piper all over the Midwest, sometimes staying overnight. It’s cool.”
“What time do you plan to get into Meigs?”
“I was thinking around 2:00pm. Can you pick me up?”
“I certainly can! See you on the 6th.”
I hung up and went to hang out with Sofia for the rest of the evening. We went to bed around 10:00pm, and as she had the night before, she joined me in bed. We cuddled and fell asleep in each other’s arms.
April, 1985, Chicago, Illinois
On Monday morning, Sofia and I did the shopping then cleaned the house. At noon we left for O’Hare to meet Jennifer’s flight. We parked in the short-term lot and walked into the terminal. A quick check of the arrival board indicated that her flight was on time. We walked to the listed gate and sat down to wait.
Jennifer walked off the plane about ten minutes after they opened the door to the Jetway. She was dressed nicely, her hair was brushed and draped over her shoulders, and she had a smile on her face. All of that boded well. I stood up and walked to meet her. We hugged, and I walked her over to meet Sofia.
“Sofia Katsaros, meet Jennifer Block. Jennifer, meet Sofia.”
“I’ve heard so much about you!” they said at the same time, causing all of us to laugh.
We headed for the baggage claim and the girls chatted back and forth, getting to know each other. I picked up Jennifer’s bag when it arrived on the carousel, and we headed to the car. Jennifer said that she loved the new Daytona and Sofia got into the back so Jennifer could sit up front with me. I asked her about the flight, school, and her parents, purposefully avoiding discussions of her mental state or anything to do with Josie.
When we arrived at the house, I took Jennifer’s bags to one of the guest rooms in the basement. I went back upstairs and went to the kitchen to make some tea. When it was finished I invited Jennifer to the ‘Indian’ room to talk. Sofia left to meet Alejandra and Leila, and said that she’d be back late. I put the tea down and walked Sofia to the door and thanked her. She gave me a quick kiss and headed out, and then I went back to the ‘Indian’ room.
“How are you and Josie doing?” I asked after we sat down in two of the basket chairs.
“Better. Lots of cuddling. I kissed her goodbye when she left to go home. A real kiss.”
“So that means that you two are OK?”
“Yes. I treated both of you pretty badly in Indianapolis.”
“You did, but I certainly understand why you were out of sorts. But forget that. I don’t care about anything that you said to me. The only thing I care about is helping you. Whatever it takes.”
“Whatever?” Jennifer smirked.
“You know that I will do whatever’s necessary to help you. But I won’t do anything that I think will hurt you.”
“And you think that would hurt me?”
“I think it might. How are you going to react to sex with a guy?”
“A guy? I’m talking about sex with you! Don’t make it sound like some random pick-up at a bar in Stanford!”
I chuckled, “Sorry. I meant intercourse with me.”
Jennifer laughed, “You mean fucking? Can’t you say that anymore? You used to have a real problem with that word.”
“Yes, Jen, fucking,” I chuckled. “That’s what I meant. But I don’t think that you’re ready for that.”
“How the hell can you be so sure about that?”
“Do I have to spell it all out?”
“Go on,” she said, with a mirthful smile.
“The last time we had sex, you recoiled at the first penetration, though you were OK after that. Then, just before Christmas you told Josie you couldn’t be with me and have a baby. You refused to even talk to her and she left to go to Minneapolis. You had a complete breakdown in Indianapolis. Since then, you’ve managed to get things together enough to finish your degree. BUT, you’ve kissed Josie one time. You’re a lesbian and you can barely kiss your lover. How the heck can you even contemplate doing anything with me? Then, add in the promise you made to Josie about sex with me. What happens if it all goes wrong?”
“Now you sound like my psychologist!”
“That’s probably a good thing. What you’re asking for is dangerous.”
“What’s dangerous is you refusing to help me,” she sighed.
“I don’t see it that way.”
Jennifer was quiet for a moment, and then got a glint in her eye.
“Did you talk with Bethany about this?” she asked.
Oh, I sure had! And Bethany had told me that we’d fuck ourselves silly this week, and then never again until Jennifer was ready to have a baby. I STILL thought Bethany was wrong.
“Yes, of course. You know I talk to her about everything.”
“And what was her advice?”
“It wasn’t so much advice as a prediction. She told me to use my best judgment.”
“You’re stalling. What did she predict?”
I sighed, “That you would ask me to fuck you senseless. It would be cathartic and help you get over what happened. But, when we’re done, that’ll be it until you want to get pregnant. In the end, you really are a lesbian. Now, my take on this, after thinking about it for a long time, is that sex with me was an attempt to erase what happened with Mr. Dixon. It didn’t, and couldn’t, work until you came to terms with the original rape. Now it could. But that doesn’t mean I think that it’s the right thing to do. At least now.”
“Because of the reasons you gave before.”
“Yes. Exactly. You made a promise to Josie. Think about my most important rule. I gave up a wild night with Cindi because of that rule.”
“Cindi? That’s off?”
“Yes, because Chris proposed and she accepted.”
“Hang on; you knew in advance it was going to be after she was engaged. That was part of the original deal.”
“A deal I should never have made. And her marrying Chris, a guy I consider a friend, makes it even more of a problem. I asked Cindi what she would think if Chris made the same kind of deal and whether or not that was the basis for a good relationship. In the end, she conceded that violating his trust wasn’t the best way to start their relationship.”
“That makes sense. But you’ve broken your rule with Sofia.”
“That was under very special circumstances. You made the point about exceptions to rules a long time ago. That was a good exception. Although it’s not likely to turn out how Sofia wanted, we’ll be life-long friends and neither of us has any regrets about how we behaved. The thing is, I didn’t know the guy, Sofia wasn’t in love with him, and they were never, ever intimate.”
“And that’s the only time?”
“There was one other, but again, it was a super-special circumstance and hopefully will prevent a much larger problem down the road.”
“But I don’t qualify?”
“You and Josie are a couple, and you told me about the agreement you have. Both of you. Right here in this house. Are YOU going to break YOUR word to Josie?”
Jennifer sighed, “Bethany is probably right.”
“You mean about sex between us in the long run?”
“Yes. And about why. Would you be upset if you and Josie never did it again?”
“No. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about that because of an interesting development.”
“I’m all ears!”
“I don’t know if you saw her or not, but there was a medical student named Jessica in Indianapolis that I met when Bethany had her surgery. We’ve gone out a few times and last Friday she met Kara.”
“Wait a minute! A new girl? And your comment about Sofia before? I think I’ve missed quite a bit in the last several months.”
I nodded, “That’s certainly true. I’ve had long talks with all of the girls and honestly, the only real candidates at this point are Bethany and Jessica.”
“You have to explain how this happened. Sofia’s here with you, but she’s not an option?”
“To answer the second question first, she’s an option, but she’s an unlikely option. I’ll try to explain.”
I spent the next thirty minutes trying to explain how things had developed since November. Jennifer listened carefully and asked a few questions, especially about Karin. When I got to Jessica, she frowned, and her tone changed.
“So you would reject Bethany in favor of this new girl who just popped up in your life and seems to be a control freak?”
“First off, no matter what happens, Bethany and I are going to be best friends. Second, Jessica isn’t a control freak.”
“She’s just like Becky! Do you remember THAT disaster?”
I sighed, “With Becky, it’s worse than you know. She came to see me on Saturday and we had lunch. That evening, she tried to kill herself.”
“First off, I’m sorry for her. But WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING HAVING LUNCH WITH HER?” Jennifer demanded angrily.
I resolved to remain calm and to not allow her provoke me.
“She showed up unannounced and uninvited at the house and asked to talk to me. Sofia told me, rightly, that it would be mean to not talk to her. There is nothing between Becky and me! She tried to kill herself! Do you think she’d have done that if I had said anything to her that gave her even a glimmer of hope?”
“That girl is sick, Steve!” Jennifer protested. “Sick!”
“Yes she is,” I said gently. “Healthy people don’t try to kill themselves. Or, give up on living and turn to alcohol and pot.”
Jennifer’s eyes went wide, her mouth forming an ‘O’. She stared at me for a moment, then pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and started crying. Given the circumstances, all I could do was wait for her to compose herself. About ten minutes later, she got up and got some tissues to blow her nose. She excused herself to use the bathroom and was back a few minutes later.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“I spent a LOT of time talking to Anala, Jackie, Elyse, and eventually, Bethany, about Becky. I now know what the problem was, and I’ve put it behind me. You need to do the same thing. She is no threat to you, Jen. She’s a lost young woman who has spent nearly eight years obsessing over me instead of accepting the situation and moving on. She needs help, and fortunately, what she took had a very low chance of killing her. Now, maybe she’ll get the help she sorely needs.”
“Did you go see her?”
“Of course I did. I tried to talk to her but she wasn’t really interested. I talked to her parents a bit, and her dad showed me the note that she wrote him. Basically, it came down to feeling rejected by me.”
“And you’re OK?”
“Yes. She has to be responsible for her own actions and I have to be responsible for mine. Please don’t get upset, but I really did give her a second chance after I came to Chicago. We did some things together, had lunch regularly, that kind of thing. But nothing at all came of it. And I told her in no uncertain terms that we weren’t getting back together. At one point, she said she’d talk to me around graduation, and I guess that this was her last-ditch attempt.”
“Do you know if she has ever dated anyone else?”
“No, I don’t think she did. She talked about it, but I don’t think she ever did. I’m pretty sure that she never slept with anyone but me.”
“That is a bit obsessive.”
“It is. And truth be told, I was obsessed with her. Anala thinks it’s because Becky was actually my first true love and the person I could have been with in a committed, monogamous relationship. But I pushed her away because of Birgit and then because of you, Bethany, and Kara. Anala had a good point. But I got over that.”
“How?”
I chuckled, “A fifteen-year-old who loves to fuck and who I obsess over a bit.”
“Penny? You obsess over her?”
“She smart, funny, sexy, loves sex, will enthusiastically do anything I ask, and wants to be with me for the rest of my life. And for the most part, I feel the same way and spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make it happen. I think that’s probably enough reason!”
“So why not pick her?”
“She’s too young, she isn’t willing to share, and frankly, as much fun as sex with her is, I’d rather have her work for me for the next forty or fifty years. Besides, no matter what, I have to either marry her or stop sleeping with her by the end of May.”
“Why?”
“I offered her a job in my new company. I can’t very well sleep with an employee,” I chuckled.
“No, you can’t!” Jennifer agreed. “But you know what? If you stop and think about it, you and I have been obsessed with each other since we first started playing chess together. If I was straight, we’d have been together, Becky would never have been a factor, and life would be very different.”
“I don’t play those ‘What if?’ games with the past. It’s over and done with. We can learn from the past, but we sure can’t change it.”
“True, but it’s also true that we’ve been obsessed with each other and no matter how badly either of us has screwed up, we’ve found a way to be together, even if it’s seriously unconventional. And that takes us back to Jessica. I suppose you need to tell me more.”
“Believe it or not, she’s fine with you and I having a kid together,” I said. “And with me having a kid or two with Elyse. She compared it to her mentor who had kids with his first two wives. And that’s part of her issue - she sees lots of divorces happening with doctors and is trying to find a creative solution to avoid that outcome. Even if it means buying into something very different from something most people would even think of trying.”
August 1978 When we had brought the computer home, I had started to take the boxes to my room to set up. My mom stopped me. “We bought that, and it’s not to go in your room. Everyone needs to be able to use it. Set it up in your dad’s office.” I knew what had happened without even being told. Jeff was trying to interfere and cause trouble. This was par for the course. I am sure he told her that it wasn’t ‘fair’ if I had the computer in my room. I knew arguing with Mom would do me no good....
November 1978 I wasn’t totally sure about Jennifer’s plan, but I’d decided to go with it. Something about having a third, or fourth, person involved turned loose a wild side in Jennifer that made her a very different person. We had discussed it somewhat, but we would need to talk about it further, especially if she went through with her plan. I woke up early, as was my habit, swam, showered, and ate breakfast. I only saw Stephanie briefly as we passed in the hallway before she left for...
June 1978 On Wednesday morning, I noticed Mary’s name written in my ‘little black book’ for Thursday. She had written that in herself before she gave it to me as a gift. I wasn’t up for it, really. As much fun as Mary was, it wasn’t what I needed now. There likely would never be a repeat of the ‘love making’ from last time, and I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea, anyway. It ran the risk of stirring up dangerous feelings. She had Ben, so I hoped she wouldn’t be upset. Work went the way it...
March 1979 Monday was back to the normal routine of school. Debbie Courtney, who lived across the street and had turned fourteen the last week in February, started flirting more with me on the bus each day. Debbie Vaughn, who lived just down the street, would turn fourteen on March 16th and invited me to her birthday party. And Donna Woody, who lived just down the street in the other direction, would turn fourteen on March 20th. She had made it clear what she wanted for her birthday, and in...
June 1979 The second week of Summer school was much like the first — busy. I was doing homework and studying for tests every night. Three things of note happened that week. On Tuesday, Jennie Sanders called me. I told her what had happened with my mom and that my mom suspected us of having sex. I told her exactly what I had said to my mom and left it to her to decide what to say about her reasons. She was a bit upset, but said she could handle it. On Wednesday, Bethany stopped me in the...
March 1978 Andreas arrived about 7:40am on Saturday. We loaded the TRS-80 into his trunk and then we drove to the deli. We’d go to demonstrate the programs around 2:00pm. That was the quietest time, and Kim would be able to handle any customers that did show up. Jennifer couldn’t come for lunch today, but I’d see her that evening. She’d told me in no uncertain terms what she wanted for dessert! Kim teased me about Jennifer not being there. I pointed out that I was seeing her tonight and...
November 1978 On Monday, I asked Jennifer to eat with me privately. I had two things I really needed to discuss with her, and both of them involved her directly and indirectly. There wasn’t really a spot in the lunchroom, but I had a key to the computer lab, and it wasn’t used during lunch, so we went in there to eat. I figured if Mr. Herbers objected, I could explain it to him. “So, what’s up?” Jennifer asked. “Two things — Joyce and Stephanie.” “Oh, this should be good!” she...
November 1978 On Sunday morning I was surprised to find Stephanie awake when I went to swim. She joined me and swam laps with me, though she only completed about half as many as I did. We got out, and I was relieved that she didn’t try to follow me to the shower. I expected that someday, though probably at some point, before she was ready to make her request. She joined me for breakfast as well. “Going to see Melanie today?” “That’s the plan, Squirt. I’m just waiting for her mom to call...
November-December 1978 I woke up Monday as usual and got my trunks. Stephanie was waiting for me, which came as no surprise. We swam our laps, with me again outpacing her. I was sure in a few months she’d be able to keep up. We walked down the hall and she smirked and started to follow me into my room. I decided this was a chance to practice setting limits that Jennifer and I had discussed. “Stephanie, no!” I said firmly, but gently. “We’re not ready for this yet. You’re not. I’m not. We...
August 1978 I woke up on Sunday morning refreshed. I swam my usual laps, showered, dressed and made breakfast. Following Jennifer’s advice, I made waffles, sausage, and eggs. Stephanie came into the kitchen while I was preparing everything and asked if I’d make her breakfast as well. We ate together, then she went to get ready for church. I put on jeans and a polo, and grabbed my fedora. I was sitting on the couch wondering what Jennifer had in mind when I saw Melanie pull into the...
We woke in the morning and I turned my head to kiss each soft and warm butt cheek I was cuddled up to. Erin let out a soft moan and I looked up to see Lynn sucking on Erin’s left nipple and Erin rubbing Lynn’s nub. “I guess that the only toy for me is your penis.” I looked down to see Blossom’s smiling face as she opened her mouth wide and dropped her mouth onto my morning wood. And that was the start of a typical O’Dell family day. Lynn made money, Erin managed the two clubs, Blossom...
August 1978 Things did go back to normal on Monday. Jennifer and I talked, and she seemed to be more like her old self. I wondered just how often she’d need something like this. I suspected she’d want something different before I left for Sweden. I wondered if I would survive. We would need to talk about this, but it seemed we both needed some time to think about what had happened. August moved right along. Jennifer and I went on dates and made love gently every time. I saw Joyce as well —...
June 1978 On Sunday morning I awoke well-rested. I ate breakfast and told Mom I wanted to go to church with them. She said ‘OK’, so I went to shower and dress for church. I saw Larry but not Jennie. Larry and I grabbed some juice after service and talked briefly. He wondered if I wanted to play some chess during the week and I readily agreed. We agreed he would come to my house on Tuesday night. When we got home I tried to talk to Mom again. She actually responded to my apology and accepted...
July 1978 I awoke Sunday morning having slept well. That was a good thing, considering what I thought Jennifer had planned. But I did have my own ideas of how we should handle our first lovemaking since we broke up. I swam, showered, and ate breakfast, then did my chores and wrote in my journal. I was still missing Birgit, even though the feelings were not as stark as they had been. It seemed each passing day I was having more positive thoughts about her and less emotional pain. As much as...
July 1978 I woke early as normal on Wednesday, swam my laps, showered, and ate breakfast. Stephanie and Vickie were up just before I left. Vickie gave me a big smile and Stephanie just shook her head. I got my bike from the garage and pedaled to the deli. As soon as I walked in, Andreas called me to his office. This only happened when something was changing. “Steve, we’re going to start opening an hour earlier. And I will have more things for you to do. Do you have a friend who would like a...
November 1978 I woke up Monday morning feeling uneasy about everything. The last week had brought to the surface some kind of problem with Jennifer. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong. I knew she was unhappy with Melanie. Her visceral reaction to Melanie was similar to her original reaction to Becky. It made me wonder if the same would come for Joyce at some time. What would I do in that case? I could understand better if Jennifer hadn’t refused my offer of a promise ring. I had...
March 1979 Melanie got the cast off her arm the first week in March. She had several fairly ugly scars on her forearm where the surgery had been done. Her arm was pretty weak, and she’d need quite a bit of physical therapy. She still tired easily, but otherwise seemed to be doing well. Kathy Will continued to be nice to me, but I wasn’t doing anything more than being nice back. She made it very clear what she wanted, but I wasn’t interested. I asked Jennifer about her thoughts on a date...
October 1978 School was moving along well. I was working on straight A’s now that I had escaped the clutches of Mrs. Thompson. All the teachers I had asked for a recommendation for the exchange program had written them and sent them in. I met with my guidance counselor, Mrs. Barngrover, early in October, and discovered a possible glitch in my plan for going to Sweden — I might not graduate with my class. I could not receive any credits from the school I would attend in Sweden because the...
July 1978 Monday was the start of Summer school. I had arranged with Andreas to start work at 1:00pm and work until 5:00pm, and on Tuesday and Thursday I’d go straight from work to Doctor Mercer’s, because she had made special arrangements for me. I had been looking forward to this class for months. There were twelve of us in the class. Larry, of course; Ralph and Ken from the chess team; Napoleon McCallum, who was a jock, but also a great student; Beth Pater, one of the smartest girls in...
November 1978 During my usual morning routine of swimming, shower, and breakfast, I mulled over my thoughts from the previous day. I saw three very distinct futures with three very distinct lives. If I had to characterize them simply, Joyce represented stability, Jennifer adventure, and Becky passion. Each girl had a mix of those traits, but each one was dominant in one of them. I had no doubt that each of them would make a wonderful wife and mother, but each represented a far different...
November 1978 I woke up on Saturday before sunrise. I read for a while, and once I heard my dad up, I went for my swim. I showered, got dressed, and went to get breakfast. I was sitting at the table and Stephanie came in to get her breakfast. She sat down and smiled at me and winked. A wink that conveyed a novel full of words. I just rolled my eyes. She crossed her arms and stared at me. I stuck my tongue out at her, knowing she was waiting for that. I’d let her have her thrill. “Do I get...
October – Year 1 It is amazing the stuff you notice when they are gone. And I don’t mean big things like a missing lover or when a wheel flies off the car at 45 mph. Don’t ask! I mean little things. Erin is pregnant. That means no periods and that means going into the bathroom and not seeing discarded pads or tampons in the waste basket and it means none of that particularly coppery odor that accompanies women’s periods. So after a few weeks of those things being gone, I was suddenly taken...
November 1978 The next week went along quickly. I was making A’s in Spanish along with all my other classes, so missing my tutoring with Melanie wasn’t really causing any trouble. We’d reached a point where it usually just involved her checking my homework and helping me study for tests. I talked to Beth and told her I wasn’t able to keep our programming date for Sunday, and she accepted an invitation from me for a make-up day a week from Saturday. The Student Council had agreed to our...
June – August – Year 2 “Doctor Daumerville’s office.” “Hello. I need to make an appointment to talk to the doctor.” “I’m sure we can make that happen. What seems to be the problem?” “There is no problem, physically, I need to speak to the doctor about a problem with a missing person who may have lost his memory.” “One moment please.” “Excuse me Ryan, I have a woman on the phone that wants to make an appointment to talk to you about a missing person who may have lost their...
July 1978 Friday was a completely normal day at the deli, and Jennifer and Melanie joined me for lunch. When they found out I didn’t have plans for that evening, they suggested dinner. I agreed, and after work we went to a diner and had a great time, renewing our mutual friendship. It was clear that the girls had spoken about what they wanted, and I was reasonably sure what they had decided. I planned to talk to Jennifer about it after dinner on Sunday. On Saturday, I left home a few...
January-February 1979 At lunch on Monday, people started getting their sheets and there was chaos as many people discovered that their boyfriend or girlfriend wasn’t on their list, and some rival of theirs was on their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s list. I found it amusing. I saw Melanie laughing hard when she got her list. I walked over to her. “Steve, I love you. Thanks!” “You’re welcome.” “Did you run a real sheet for me?” I pulled it out of my pocket and said, “Your first match is a...
June-July 1978 On Tuesday I had my appointment with Doctor Mercer. I gave her new pages from my journal, but not the one from the previous night. I’d give that to her next week, after she spoke with Bethany. I didn’t want the fact that I had sex with Anna to color Dr Mercer’s opinion of me. We spent most of the session discussing my emotions, after I’d explained I’d moed from sadness to anger. After that discussion, it seemed to me that she was OK with a shift to anger. She asked about...
December 1978 On Friday, Stephanie and I did our usual morning routine and then I worked on the programs for Doctor Grossi. I had figured out how to make the connections between the pets and the owners and was working on a way to create invoices. I was confident that we’d have it working well enough for him to test it by the end of January. Joyce arrived to pick me up at 5:00pm for our date. We deviated from our usual pattern in that we didn’t make love before she cooked and we ate....
November 1978 Thanksgiving week had only three days of school, but a lot happened. On Monday, Brent asked Beth out on a date and she accepted. When she told me about it, I was happy for her. She was a bit disappointed that it meant the end of our physical relationship, but she knew my rule. On Tuesday, Petra Johansson asked me if I was interested in coming to a St. Lucia party on December 13th. She would be making «pepparkakor» (‘ginger cookies’) and «Lussekatter» (‘saffron buns’) and...
August-September 1978 The next week flew by. On Sunday, we used my tickets and went to another baseball game. The Reds were hosting the Cubs. Tom Seaver pitched a lousy game and the Reds lost 7-1. Bethany joined us this time, because Mary wasn’t able to go. As luck would have it, the same guys were sitting behind us. “Hey, what happened to the sexy blonde?” “She couldn’t make it today, but this is another one that he’s had sex with,” Melanie said. “Melanie!” I growled. “Oh stop, Steve!”...
July 1980, Milford, Ohio I was happy when Stephanie joined me to swim laps and eat breakfast on Friday morning. When she hadn’t done those things with me, it had made me feel incomplete. I didn’t understand how the connection between us worked, but I knew that I didn’t want to be without her. “Steve,” Stephanie said while we were at breakfast, “don’t do anything stupid today.” “I have no plans to do anything stupid.” “You’re a boy. Boys always do dumb things without thinking or...
September 29, 1991, Milford, Ohio “Thanks for everything, Steve,” Bethany said after I’d buckled Jesse into his car seat. “You’re welcome. And thank you, as well. I very much enjoyed last night.” “Me, too!” she giggled. We hugged tightly, I kissed her, and then got into the car. I started the engine, put the car in reverse, and backed out of the driveway. With a wave, Jesse and I began our drive back to Chicago. “I thought you and Aunt Befany weren’t kissing!” he protested. I suppressed...
December 1978 On Monday, Kathy Will found me and giddily agreed to my terms and asked when I’d do it with her. I told her that I still thought it was a bad idea. She was desperate. “Steve, I’ll do anything you want if I can have just one more night where we do it three or four times. Anything. Please?” “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said firmly. “No.” “Nobody ever says ‘no’! Now you’ve said ‘no’ twice!” “That’s right.” “Fuck you, Steve Adams!” she growled angrily and stormed...
June 1979 On Friday, my grandparents came to visit for dinner, so I couldn’t spend any time with my friends. I would see all of them on Sunday, and Jennifer promised to be at my house at 6:00am on Monday to say goodbye. My grandparents didn’t stay late, and I set about making phone calls to people I wouldn’t see. I spoke with Anna, Elyse, and Jennie Sanders. Elyse was thrilled that I had called again and promised to write and said she was really looking forward to seeing me when I came...
June 1978 I woke up early on Sunday morning, feeling good for the second day in a row. I decided I was going to go to church as well. There was something positive about sitting in church that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. After church, I did my chores and then pedaled over to Bethany’s house for lunch. Her dad made hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and I ate two of each. Bethany laughed when I had the second hot dog after I’d already had two burgers and a hot dog. “I’m a growing...
June 1978 Saturday morning was tough because of the previous night’s dream. I took a long shower and ate breakfast. I tried to talk to Mom at breakfast but she was still not speaking to me. Something had to give. I’d go to church again the following day as a ‘peace offering’. Maybe that would help. Dad drove me to the deli because Joyce would be picking me up there for our date. Work was better because we were catering a Knights of Columbus lunch. That meant that I spent time doing things...
May 28, 1979 — Memorial Day I woke up feeling refreshed, having slept deeply. Stephanie joined me in the pool after several weeks of enforced absence and we ate breakfast together. We hung out for the rest of the morning playing pool and just sitting and talking. It was clear she was going to miss me. I had no doubt I would miss her terribly. Melanie arrived to pick me up around 11:00am for the Memorial Day Cookout at her house. The way she was looking at me made me think that I was the...
January 1979 Tuesday started wonderfully because Stephanie joined me in the pool. As we walked down the hallway to shower, she dropped one of her shoulder straps, looked over her shoulder and smirked. I just shook my head and went into my room. She was going to push the limits every chance she got. But I’d keep her within them. At school, things quickly got back into routine. Melanie was still in her wheelchair, hoping to get her walking splint in a week or so. Her arm was really bothering...
June – Year 2 Lynn crawled onto their bed and put herself between her wife’s legs and began to taste her juices as she inserted her fingers into her wife’s wetness. She began with a combination of long licks from Erin’s anus to her clit and synchronized the sucking of the clit with insertion of her fingers and the massage of Erin’s G-spot. Erin raised her hips to show that Lynn had hit the spot and that she needed her wife to keep doing what she was doing. Lynn went back to long licks and...
July 2, 1978 Mr. van Hoek was alone, which I had suspected might be the case. “Can I hear your side of what’s going on?” he asked as he pulled out of the driveway. Becky and I hadn’t coordinated stories, which meant the conversation could be really, really dangerous. That said, I felt the worst thing that could happen was that he turned around and took me home. I wouldn’t have to face Becky in that case; he would. “Well, Mr. van Hoek, Becky and I are in different places right now, I...
July 1980, Milford, Ohio We arrived at Jennifer’s house to find it empty. “Dad’s at work and Mom’s out shopping. She’ll be home for dinner.” “So, what did you have in mind? We have a lot to catch up on.” “Sex and talking! I prefer sex first! It’s been a year since I was with you last!” “I did promise to fuck you silly, if I recall correctly! In every possible way; and no hole left untouched.” “You did. But you know what? Right now, I just want you to make love to me. Like the very first...
September – May – Year 2 “Hi Lover. You are awfully late. Is everything ok?’ “Not really Erin. Some guy on the plane was groping me in my sleep and I had to hurt him. The police held me for questioning. I am still in the terminal and I am going to get the rental car and head for the hotel.” “Are you ok?” “Yeah. I nailed him in the throat with my cell phone and the cops have him. The airline is going to have to deal with this one.” “Ok. Lover, it is so late they won’t let you see Paul...
May 1979 On Monday afternoon, Kent and Jennie picked me up to get my tux fitted for the wedding. I was very happy to see that they had selected traditional tuxedos rather than some of the gaudy colored ones. All the groomsmen would wear black with light purple cummerbunds and ties and Kent would wear black with light blue. Jennie wanted me to wear black and yellow. I thought the offsets were interesting. Jennie explained that she was wearing light blue and her maids of honor were wearing...
August – October – Year 3 The new house was impressive. As you drove up from the large security gate the drive took a single turn before heading off to the left towards the garage. The garage had bays for four cars with an enclosed connection to the house. There was a door out the back to the yard and a door that opened to the stairs up to the mother-in-law apartment above. The mother-in-law apartment was a two-bedroom apartment of about 1000 square feet. It had windows all around except on...
June 19, 1978 I slept reasonably well despite the dream and despite the knowledge that the letters would likely arrive while I was at work. I did my usual morning routine with shower and breakfast, checked the pool, and unloaded the dishwasher, something that was usually Jeff’s job. Dad was going to drop me at work instead of me riding my bike, because the girls would be bringing me home. Unfortunately, things weren’t busy at the deli and I had a lot of time to think. Too much time, really....
St. Stephen’s Day, 1984, Indianapolis, Indiana I went to see if Ed had returned and found him and my sister sitting with Kara. Ed looked even happier than he had earlier, so I assumed my sister had properly thanked him. “She’s awake, but groggy,” I said. “She has no idea what happened, though. Ed, why don’t you go see her?” “Thanks!” he replied, giving Stephanie a quick kiss. “I see you properly thanked him!” I teased, after he left. She laughed, “I did. Twice!” “You weren’t gone THAT...
July 3–4, 1978 On Monday I woke early, as usual, and ate breakfast. I did my chores and swam, and just before lunch, I called Pete to see if I could put a plan in place to see Anna. Pete was glad to hear from me. “Pete, you remember my friend Anna?” “I do.” “She has a sister. Would you be interested in a double date with them?” “What’s her sister like?” “Your age, not seeing anyone right now. She seems OK to me, but I don’t know her too well.” “Ah, you need a way to see Anna and can’t...
April-May 1979 Saturday morning after the Prom, I was up at my usual time despite coming in so late. I swam, then ate breakfast with Stephanie. “What’s bothering you, Big Bro?” “Joyce. We said ‘goodbye’ last night.” “Goodbye like in you’re going away goodbye, or goodbye like you’re done with each other?” “The first one, for sure. The second one probably, if I’m honest.” “And you’re sad about that?” “Yeah, Squirt, about both.” “You have to make your own decision in the end. You said so...
February 1978 The rest of the week went by quickly. I played chess with Jennifer and Larry. I played chess with Mary. Mary and I couldn’t find a time to get together, much to our mutual disappointment. Even Thursday night didn’t work out since she had to go out with her parents. On Saturday, I called Birgit. I was doing that way too often, but letters with two-week turnarounds just weren’t cutting it. I broached the subject of growing up and gaining experiences and she said that was more or...
September – Year 2 Lynn went to the airport on Saturday. She was a little upset because Paul had not called that morning before he got on the plane and that had set Erin off. Lynn loved her wife and seeing her so distraught broke her heart. “Lover, I will bring him straight home, no sex in the parking garage. I promise.” “Something is wrong. I felt it this morning when I was feeding Taylor. Her eyes. Something was there.” “I’ll be home as soon as I can. I will have Paul call you when I...
October-November 1978 On Saturday, Jennifer joined me for lunch at work. Melanie had called her on Friday night. “So, she asked. She told me she agreed to the ground rules you set. She told me she had written Pete as well, and that he wrote back.” “Then it’s up to you, Jen.” “Do you want to do this?” “I agreed to it. It’s really a question of you and what you need. Is inviting Melanie to share us something you can deal with? Will it hurt our relationship as you see it? Do you think she...
December 1978 The last week of school before Christmas break flew by. The only thing of note was someone joined our lunch table. A girl named Sarah Leonard, who had transferred to Milford this year when her family moved from New York because her dad worked for GE and was transferred. I had seen her around the school, but she appeared to be shy, quiet, and reserved. She was about an inch shorter than me, had long, straight brown hair, and a cute face. She dressed in very loose-fitting...
June 1978 First thing Monday morning I called Doctor Mercer’s office to set up an appointment. She said she wanted to see me right away, and Bethany had told her about my work schedule, so she set up a 7:00am appointment for Tuesday. I asked dad about it and he said he could drop me off on his way to work. He’d have enough time to come in and sign the paperwork. From the doctor’s office, I would then walk to the deli. Jennifer’s mom would pick me up from work, and Jennifer and I would have...
Catherine looked at me, trying hard not to laugh. Anna was grinning. While Penny, Karla, and Kip were used to our mental dialogues, they didn't catch the implication of what had just happened. I'm not sure about the three sisters; I still had a hard time with their thoughts since they were still thinking predominately in Haitian. The rest of the girls all looked from one to another, as they began to giggle. They had figured out what it meant. "Think something else, Michael. See if it was...
June 1978 Wednesday at work was tough. I hadn’t gotten much sleep and the random terrible thoughts kept entering my mind as I went about my tasks. Jennifer wasn’t able to make it for lunch, so I ate alone. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, either at work or at home. I made sure to write my thoughts, especially the dark ones, into my journal. My dream that evening was about Jennifer, and resulted in soiled sheets. I took that as progress. Thursday morning was my second visit to Doctor...
April 1979 Spring break started on April 8th. It was a busy week. On Monday, I went to Melanie’s to see Michelle, who was visiting. She was dating someone, and they’d been going out for a few months. She seemed quite happy, and I was happy that she was happy. The other good news was that Melanie had been cleared to drive. Michelle and I shared a nice hug and a gentle kiss before I left. On Tuesday, Joyce and I had our dinner date. We went to the apartment, and she cooked. We talked about...
Angela spent nearly two weeks wrapping things up. Most days, Frank and Angela talked long on the phone, and Frank helped her through the estate and funeral legalities, remembering his own experience when his parents died. Frank flew out for two days to attend Terrence's funeral and help with packing. The funeral was one of the most depressing events Frank had ever attended. The weather was cold and damp. Angela was red-eyed. Jennifer was completely silent and stone-faced as she huddled in...
June 1978 I was dragging when I rode my bike to the deli. The dream about Birgit had been disturbing and I couldn’t put it out of my mind. It was weighing heavily on me. What had she thought about at the end? Had her last thoughts been of me? That brought tears to my eyes again. Work started as usual. Andreas knew the situation, so he didn’t bother me. He did check to see if I was going to be at the High School next year. I told him ‘yes’ and he said that he would talk to me towards the end...