Green Berets for the Sexual RevolutionChapter 13
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Carol's thoughts
Warm. Nice. Hazy. Am I dreaming? Am I thinking? Purr. Cat next to head, at edge of bed. Sleepy...
Warm. Fidgeting. Not quite awake, but not dreaming. High school. Not easy. Eyes closed, smiling softly at a memory of cheerleader glory. Chuckle. I look so much better now. Smile back to sleep.
Eyes snap open. Stomach dropping flash of fear in high school. Inner voice telling me I was a coward.
A little more awake. Was it cowardice, or a lack of imagination on how to get out of the safe space of jocks and cheerleaders?
Shiver. Wait ... something is reassuring. Body heat. Sound of calm breathing. Such a rare sound for me. Sure, I was sexually active in high school, but never slept with anyone for more than a few minutes. Not much better when more active in college, still not right to sleep with people. I had fuck toys, and sometimes damn good fuck toys, but no lovers.
Could I have had a lover? My body just said yes, when I felt my muscles jolt. Maybe it could have been Marie. No, it should have been Curt. How many times, in college, did I shove the feeling of loss to the back of my mind? How many times did I call myself a coward for not staying in touch with him, only a few hundred miles away?
More awake now. Out of my mouth comes "Dammit girl!"
"Umm?" Noise next to me. Noise from warm. Omigod. Omigod.
Scream! "Curt! Curt!"
Great leap at my side. "What? Carol! What is it?"
Carol was shaking and softly sobbing. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew Carol needed me. Automatically, my arms went around her, as I'd comfort almost anyone in deep pain. As I grew more awake, I realized it was Carol, an on-and-off focus in my thoughts for many years. I didn't know what was going on, but I felt protective.
She muttered, "truth is hard. Truth is really hard. I was a coward. I don't want to be a coward. I don't want to cover up my fears."
Her eyes open. In the dim light, I sensed, more than saw, tears. Bending, I kissed her eyes and tasted the tears. "I know you're hurting, Carol. Right now, you're safe. Let it out when you're ready." While I didn't know what was bothering her, even though I'm not the most intuitive person in the world, every sense told me she was being utterly vulnerable.
"Curt, sometime when I was in college, I finally started being honest with myself about several things. First, I'm a really sexual person. I need lots of sex, and probably from more than one person. Second, I don't equate sex with love. I might have lots of playmates, but very few people that get emotionally close and probably only one true love. Third, maybe it's a different part of the sex, but I really get off on looking good and being noticed.
"When I started really realizing that, I felt a couple of things. I began to realize that you were the only person to whom I ever connected at the passionate loving level. Marie is a special case--that's something for later. In high school, until Marie started mentoring, I hadn't begun to realize that special something growing between us.
"After you left, and I was still in New Jersey, I still wasn't far from you. Instead, I took advantage of wealthy parents, a car, an apartment, and had an active school and sex life. The school wasn't half as intense as with you and I, but I actually did get a pretty accelerated degree. Just fucking around there was fun, but it was empty. I realized I was at worst a coward, and at best not very creative, in not making an effort to link up with you.
"When I came to DC, I knew you were here, but didn't try to find you. That was being a coward. Now, I'm even more bitter because some of the things that I thought would drive you away became things you actually find attractive.
"Carl, dear, you are giving me a second chance. I hope I can give just as much to you. These tears are happy and sad. Right now, if you don't mind, I'd like to cuddle, although my body is always available to you sexually. In the near future, I want to discover every pleasant kink we share, with nothing forbidden. But I know my emotional batteries need to recharge."
I never claimed to understand women. I spooned next to her, remembered it was 5 AM, and went back to sleep, with a smile on my face.
Carol's thoughtsGiggle. Thinking of club dancers that are also friends and playmates. Oooh. Share with Curt.
Mara and Diane. Office scenes. Curt must have felt horny about women at work. Starting to finger myself thinking about Diane. Am I awake? No. Awake, I'd have Curt finger me unless he wanted to watch her do it to herself.
Carl's thoughts
Mmm. So many images of Carol, but also images of other hot women. Giggle that I know that Carol would like me getting hot to other women, and even bringing them to me. Pleasant growl. I'd like to see her with male and female playmates, going wild but I know she always will come back to me.
"In high school, some people thought I was Italian, but my family is originally Spanish, but with several generations in Northern Italy, probably with some German mixing. To be honest, I don't understand the genealogy. Somehow, though, there are some friendships with Sicilians, and, borrowing from my Jewish friends, the whole megilla wound up in the US.
"My family definitely isn't Mafia, and I don't know if I'd even call us 'connected'. Yeah, maybe I would, but we're more the sort of people that the wise guys call friends of my friends, or maybe friends of friends of my friends. If we're triple friends, there are some double friends in the DC area. They're careful, never touching drugs or gambling, but do high-end clubs like Le Marquis, and very selectively run some escorting.
"So the friend of the friend of my uncle, or something like that, is a backer of the club. I don't know all the details, and I explicitly don't want to know the details, but it came to be that somebody called in a marker and wanted the club to be extra special nice to the son of some American billionaire. It was less about money than trading favors, and again I'm healthier if I don't know the favor.
"Anyway, David, or so I knew him, while up-and-coming in conservative politics, was on its libertarian side. I never got into the details of his politics, but I had the opinion he was quite live-and-let live about personal sexual conduct, unless he really needed to make a deal with social or religious conservatives. He Eventually, I saw an interview with him where he said it was nuts to put people in jail for pot, and he knew and liked a lot of homosexuals -- he was a huge contributor of a major dance theater. When you got beyond the politics, he was charming.
"It turned out that at his Ultimate Nerd college, he was a basketball star. It came out, though, that he had an intense fantasy about a cheerleader, and maybe more than one, and the fantasy couldn't happen if at least one of the girls didn't have real cheerleading skills--the acrobatic sort. The friends of friends knew me, and knew I liked recreational fucking. By the time the deal was cut, I was promised a piece of the club and relocation to DC. They really encouraged me to bring along some friends, and start developing the acts and fantasies in the club--not necessarily escorts. My apartment was provided; I might speculate that its renovation was part of money laundering, but I'm happy that I don't know.
"For the scene, I brought along Shelly. The prince didn't know fine distinctions between cheerleaders and twirlers. I also brought Melly, who was a gymnast before her figure got too developed." She giggled. "Melly is also Nick Nicosia's kid sister. Nick was the football player that gave you such a hard time as an underclassman, until you came back as a senior and flattened him in the locker room with some sort of martial arts technique.
"The final touch was Marie. This part is hard. Marie has a chronic blood disease, and by being down here, she can participate in research programs at NIH Clinical Center. Those programs are keeping her alive. She's still on the weak side. Nevertheless, she is the part-time researcher and writer and producer for the more elaborate fantasies. We're honest -- she might have a long life, or just have months.
"It's about 8 AM. If I don't feed the cats soon, we're going to hear about it. Want to have breakfast and plan our next move?"
"Sure."
"Naked cooking tends not to be a good idea. What else would you like to see me wearing? We can also do a temporary hold on lust."
I laughed. "Batter burns aren't erotic." She slipped into a silky green caftan. I hadn't quite expected full coverage, but it really made sense in the kitchen. After presenting their feline highnesses with their bowls -- let's keep the priorities straight -- Carol brought a couple of plates of very nice pancakes and bacon to the table. No, bacon isn't a substitute for sex, but sex can be deferred while there still is uneaten bacon.
As we ate, though, she took a peach from a bowl, cut it into sections, and reached under the table with a slice of peach. She shuddered a little, then passed me the slice. It had a fascinating aroma, of more than peach alone. I enjoyed it very much.
"Did you notice the Jacuzzi while you were in the bathroom? Want to soak and tease and scheme while we digest? Now, let me warn you that I have some very strange cats who like water--maybe they think they are small tigers. It's not unprecedented to have one or both jump into the Jacuzzi, spin around for a while, and get out. Don't ever be surprised to hear meows from the corner of the shower stall."
That did sound like fun. As much as Carol was exciting me with her body and actions, I wanted to get more and more into her big head, and vice versa.
"Let me go start the water. It takes 10 or 15 minutes to fill and get to the right temperature. In the meantime, there's some cut-up fruit in the refrigerator, and more fruit in a bowl. Cheese in the refrigerator too. Want to cut some up for nibblies in the tub? Oh, we will also nibble on one another, but you never know when you want energy.
"As I showed you with the peach, there can also be some very nice games played with food. I know someone who claims he's a food porn star."
"The tub is almost ready. Any musical requests? I usually put on some tapes that I've mixed, or had the club sound engineer make.
"Damn. I'm having a flashback of regret to high school. We didn't spend enough time together for me to know what you like in music. Let's start. I'm eclectic. Jazz and cool rock, not hard rock. Classical and folk."
"Pretty much the same here, although maybe less on the former and more on the latter. How about starting with Handel's Water Music, if you've got it?"
"Of course, followed by the Music for the Royal Fireworks. I figure we can be responsible for our own fireworks, but let's start by lighting candles." Carol looked sternly at Bajra. "Need I give you another reminder that a candle flame is not an appropriate place for your tail?"
"Bajra may have jumped into the Jacuzzi for the first time when she set her tail on fire, damaging nothing but her dignity. After that, though, she decided it was fun and invited her sister. They started playing with faucets as kittens and never were scared of water."
"Speaking of water, what did you think of my little watersports show?"
"Fascinating. A few years back, I would have said that I had never thought about it. This might be Too Much Information, but when I was a medical lab tech in high school, I did more urinalysis than anything else, so I didn't consider it gross.
"I have a sort of girlfriend named Jill. Well, these days, it's most accurate for me to say she is a girl that is a friend. She tends to identify as lesbian, but, when we did play, she would invite me into the bathroom. Jill made some comments that suggested that she was interested in water sports but wasn't sure how to proceed. She's weird -- to the point of mental illness -- but nice. I think you two might like each other. Anyway, water sports have gotten more into my fantasy life. A couple of times, when I asked a working girl if she had any specialties, she offered a golden shower, and I tried it. I think I could get to like it a lot.
"It's one of those things that's so out of the accepted that it's part of relaxing me that I really, really, have full permission to be sexual and sensual. So yes, I want to explore it more. Things like wet panties, though, do nothing for me."
"Good answer, Curt. It's not a regular thing for me, but it seemed right as one more way to be open to you. I never was on the receiving side of a golden shower, but I just might enjoy that from you, as naughty, not humiliating. Not right now, though. It is a good idea to pee before getting into the tub, so we don't have urges that make us get out. Why don't you fondle me while I'm doing it? I'd like to hold your cock while you piss--would you believe I've never done that?"
Her face showed that she remembered something. "Follow me to the closet!" She led me to her shoe collection shelves.
"Damn, Carol. I'm not going to look too close there, so I don't set off fetishes. I still want to talk to you about what I've learned with shoe fetishes, but not now."
"I wanted to change shoes, from these pumps that I wear around the apartment. Water would ruin them..." She reached for a pair. "But these are plastic and actually designed to be safe in water, and even be stable on wet floors. I can even wear them into the Jacuzzi!" I didn't know exactly how that would work, but the idea was incredibly exciting in the way it was so outrageous.
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