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The afternoon at the Dairy King had been hot. Sean felt like he had sweated ten gallons of water by the time it was over. He trudged home looking forward to a cool shower and a lazy evening. He stopped at the fork in the path leading to Suzie’s house and muttered, “I don’t think I’m up for a visit tonight.”
He thought about the skimpy bathing suit and then said, “Who am I kidding? I’m always up for a visit with Suzie.”
He continued on his way home thinking about how nice it was that he didn’t have anything planned for the evening. All he wanted to do was take a cold shower and a nap. He reached his backyard and spotted the billboard standing at the far end of the yard. There was a large sheet thrown over it. He muttered, “I’d look to see what she wrote, but that is just too much effort.”
He entered the house. His mother was at the kitchen table looking over a list. She looked up and asked, “How was your miserable day?”
“Hot and miserable,” Sean said.
She smiled and said, “That’s nice. Now go take a shower. Suzie will be over here any minute now for your date.”
“What date?” Sean asked. He didn’t remember setting up a date with Suzie.
“It is Friday night,” his mother answered as if that explained everything.
“So?”
“Everyone knows that Friday night is date night,” she said.
“I didn’t ask her out,” Sean said.
His mother snorted and said, “Of course you didn’t, I did.”
“Oh. Where am I taking her on this date?” Sean asked.
“To dinner at the Surf and Turf,” his mother answered.
“That’s nice of me. I must have put a lot of thought into it,” Sean said.
“You did,” his mother said, “Now go take a shower before she gets here.”
“Okay,” Sean said looking forward to a shower. He headed towards the hallway.
“Lily is going with you,” his mother said.
Sean stopped and turned back to look at his mother. He said, “I’m not taking a shower with Lily.”
“She’s not going to the shower with you. She’s going on your date with you,” his mother said.
He figured that she was getting him and Lily out of the house so that she could put up the billboard in front of the movie theater. He asked, “What kind of date is it when you take your little sister along with you?”
“The kind of date that your mother arranges for you,” his mother answered.
“That makes sense,” Sean said. He and Suzie hadn’t had a chance to really be alone with each other since the day that their mothers had been arrested. He suspected that it was intentional on their part.
“Now go take your shower,” his mother said.
The shower did wonders for Sean. The cold water cooled him down and woke him up. Returning to his bedroom, he found that his mother had laid out some clothes for him. They were rather dressy for around town. Frowning, he asked, “What is she up to?”
Leaving his bedroom, Sean found that Suzie was waiting for him at the kitchen table. Her mother and father were there talking to his parents. Sean frowned at seeing her parents there.
His mother was up to something and the fact that Suzie’s parents were involved worried him.
Putting on his best smile, he said, “Hello, everyone.”
“How was your miserable day?” his father asked.
“Hot and miserable,” Sean answered.
“That’s nice,” his father said.
“I drove past the Dairy King this afternoon while I was running some errands for your mother. I was really impressed by the job you did in painting it. The place looks new,” Mr. Emery said.
“Suzie picked out the colors and painted the trim,” Sean said wondering what kind of errands his mother would give to Mr. Emery.
“It really looks sharp,” his father said.
“Thanks,” Sean said.
Lily entered the kitchen wearing a nice outfit. She said, “I’m ready to spoil your date.”
“That’s nice,” Sean said.
Suzie looked over at Lily in surprise and asked, “She’s going with us?”
“Of course, Dear,” her mother answered. Seeing the look of dismay on her daughter’s face, she added, “How else can we ruin your date?”
“There’s nothing like having a chaperone along on a date to cool the passions,” Mr. Emery said.
Hugging Lily, her mother said, “Remember what I told you. When they start kissing you are supposed to make all kinds of loud comments.”
“Yes, Mother,” Lily said with a giggle. She pointed a finger towards her mouth and said, “Gag me with a spoon. Get a room, you two.”
“Perfect,” his mother said with more than a little pride in her voice.
“I couldn’t have done that any better myself,” Mrs. Emery said with a twinkle in her eye.
“Thank you. I’ve been practicing,” Lily said.
Suzie’s initial expectations for the date had taken a beating since learning that Lily was going along with them. She shook her head and muttered, “I’m going to die a virgin.”
“That’s the plan,” Mr. Emery said pleased to hear that his daughter was still a virgin. He gave Sean a rather unfriendly look that suggested he wasn’t going to be happy when he learned otherwise.
“Nonsense. That’s not the plan at all,” her mother said. Seeing the surprised look on Suzie’s face, she added, “We’re just building up the suspense so that when it finally happens you’ll be disappointed.”
“So disappointed that you join a nunnery and live the rest of your life practicing vows of silence,” Sean’s mother said.
“And I’ll have an excuse to kill him,” Mr. Emery said cracking his knuckles.
Looking sad, Mrs. Emery said, “It is a shame that he’ll have to die. We just couldn’t come up with any other way to avoid having to pay for a huge wedding.”
“I keep forgetting that part of the plan,” Mr. Emery said looking over at Sean with a smile. Sean swore that Mr. Emery had filed his teeth down into wicked looking fangs.
“The great part of this plan is that I won’t have to pay his way through college,” his father said.
“It is a rather economical solution to all of our problems,” his mother said.
“There is a method to our madness,” Mrs. Emery said patting Suzie on the arm.
“More like a madness to your method,” Sean said.
After glancing at the clock, his mother said, “There are still a lot of things to do. You kids run along on your date so that we can get to the serious business of getting things ready for tonight.”
Suzie rose from her chair and asked, “Where are we going?”
“We’re going to the Surf and Turf. I’m going to eat fried shrimp until I barf,” Lily said.
“Please don’t barf,” Suzie said thinking this was going to turn into the date from hell.
“Remember, you have to be back at eight,” his mother said.
This was the first that Sean had heard of that. Shocked, he said, “Eight?”
“Isn’t that a little early to end a date?” Suzie asked. Even with Lily along they should have been able to stay out until nine.
“We have our plans and they require you to be home at eight. Now run along and have a perfectly horrible date,” Mrs. Emery said giving a little shooing gesture towards the door.
Sean and Suzie left the house holding hands. Lily skipped along beside them and said, “Now the mushy stuff starts.”
Thinking about the effort the mothers had made in setting up the date, Sean said, “We’re going to have to bail all four of them out of jail tonight.”
“Why?” Suzie asked.
Sean said, “Mom had Dad built a billboard. They’re going to put it up tonight across the street from the movie theater.”
“Will the policeman give me candy if I haven’t been arrested?” Lily asked.
“I’m sure that they will,” Sean said.
“Good,” Lily said.
Puzzled, Suzie said, “I have a hard time believing that they talked my dad into doing something like that. He was pretty upset about mom getting arrested.”
“Why? I kind of enjoyed it,” Lily said.
Sean shook his head and said, “We’ll worry about it later.”
After a short drive, the three young people entered the Surf and Turf. The hostess looked up from the little seating chart that was marked up with a grease pencil. She had been busy drawing little hearts all over it. She asked, “Do you have a reservation?”
“I have many reservations. Which one do you want?” Sean asked. The hostess looked to be about three years older than him.
The young woman frowned and asked, “What’s the name?”
“Sean Connery Michaels.”
The young woman looked over the list and said, “We don’t have a reservation in that name.”
“Of course you don’t. You didn’t know I was coming here. If you did, you’d have a lot of reservations too,” Sean said. Suzie rolled her eyes. Lily grinned.
“Are you famous or something?” the hostess asked.
“That was a joke,” Suzie said.
“Apparently it wasn’t a good one,” Sean said.
Lily said, “You can say that again.”
“You’re going to have to wait,” the hostess said.
Sean looked around and saw that there were a lot of empty tables. He asked, “Why?”
“We need to keep a table clear in case someone with a reservation shows up,” the hostess said.
Her boss told her to send walk-ins to the bar for ten minutes. She said, “If you had a reservation, then I could seat you right away.”
“Can I make a reservation?” Sean asked.
The woman frowned and then said, “I guess so.”
“Good. I’d like a reservation,” Sean said.
“The name?”
Lily slapped a hand to her forehead and muttered, “She’s falling for it.”
“Sean Connery Michaels.”
“What time?” the woman asked.
“Six thirty,” Sean answered after glancing at his watch.
“Okay,” the woman said writing down the time. “How many are in your party?”
“Three,” Sean answered.
“Okay.”
“Excellent,” Sean said. He took a step back and then a step forward. He said, “I have a reservation for six thirty. The name is Sean Connery Michaels.”
The young woman looked over the list and said, “Oh, I see it right here.”
“Good,” Sean said with a smile.
“I’ll take you to your table,” the hostess said while gathering together three menus from the little rack.
Curious, Suzie asked, “Did you go to school here?”
“Yes. I graduated three years ago,” the woman answered heading over towards an area filled with empty tables. She didn’t bother to look back to see if they were following her.
Suzie said, “Somehow, I don’t find the idea of that very comforting at all.”
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