My Journey - Book 4: HeartsChapter 11 free porn video

Wednesday finally started and we all got up to the sound of the alarm. Even Dawn was still asleep. I took her out while the first of us started to shower. I was glad of the solitude for a few minutes and I walked her around the neighborhood, letting her sniff around and patrol her domain, as it were. I was starting to get a little of that normal that Victoria had always wanted for me, finally. Once we got good news, my life would settle into something of a routine, or so it seemed. I was aware that things tended to get complicated around me. I just hoped that the normal lasted long enough for me to enjoy it this time.

When I got back to the house, it was my turn in the shower, but I skipped it to get breakfast early. I knew that after six people showered, there was no chance I was getting hot water out of our poor overworked water heater. I’d get one just before we left for school.

It was a measure of how on-edge we all were that breakfast was as quiet as it was. The tension was thick in the room and there was no cure for it except answers.

Patty was the first to break the silence. “I’ll call the school to let them know that you’ll need to leave as soon as you get the text, girls,” she said softly. They’d opted to have the results held at the clinic and pick them up, figuring that it would be quicker than having them mailed out.

Lana nodded and they talked it out. She and Beck were going right to the clinic and then coming back home so they wouldn’t be alone when they opened the results. The rest of us were going to have to wait to hear.

I was counting down the minutes and wishing that they’d get the results now, but I wasn’t alone in that. We finished breakfast and I went next door to shower and change for the day before we all got on the road. Today, Lana and I picked up Tricia and we both got kisses when she got in the car.

“Today’s the day,” she said, catching our mood. “Tonight, you’ll be cleared.” I put a hand on Lana’s shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze to show support while we drove.

When we got to school, I detoured into the office, surprising some of the girls. When I asked for Mr. Peterson, he came out and showed us into the conference room, assuming it was a group topic. I was fine with that. These were my girls.

“What’s on your mind today?” he asked us pleasantly.

“I’m having some problems,” I admitted to him. “I wanted to keep you informed.”

“Oh?” he said, gesturing me to continue.

“Roger Turnbull has been getting beaten up since the term started. He thinks I’m doing it and he’s been threatening me at lunch,” I told him.

He frowned at that. “I heard that the two of you have had some tense confrontations,” he admitted. “I intended to talk to the two of you and see if we could resolve it.”

“Roger was responsible for several of the most disgusting things that were done to me last term,” I supplied. “He thinks I’m getting back at him by attacking him from behind. So, every time it happens, he comes to lunch and threatens me. I’m here to let you know that it’s gone on long enough. If he threatens me again, I’m going to take him seriously.”

He blanched a little at that. He remembered the last time that I took a threat seriously. He probably had visions of me killing Roger in the lunch room.

“I’ll handle it,” he said quickly.

I nodded. “I’m not complaining about how you’ve handled it so far,” I assured him. “It’s taking some time to recover and de-stress from everything that happened last term. Having him run up to me and tell me that he’ll get me for it? That doesn’t help.”

“Matt’s suffering from PTSD,” Tricia tattled on me. “A lot of bad things happened to him here and Roger seems to have made a game of making things worse. If Matt feels really threatened and reacts to protect himself, I think he’s earned the right after what that guy did. Roger collected shit and poured it into Matt’s locker to make him clean it up. Who does that?”

“Don’t forget the animal blood,” Gina said darkly. “I want to know how he got that. I wouldn’t put it past him to have killed a cat just so he could ruin Matt’s day.”

“Or the vomit,” Jessie supplied helpfully. “It’s kind of sick that he’d puke just so he could do that.”

“I presume that I can add the urine that was poured into your locker to the list of Mr. Turnbull’s exploits?” he asked, with a heavy sigh.

I nodded. “I wasn’t going to get into specifics. I just want him to shut up and fuck off. I’ve tried to warn him off, but he’s stupid. He thinks that he’s just going to keep getting away with it.”

“I’ll have a talk with him,” he said. “If he approaches you again, let me know.”

“I think, if he approaches me again, I’ll let my lawyer know and maybe press criminal charges. He’s been making more direct threats.”

“I’ll impress upon him that his next infraction will get him suspended,” Mr. Peterson told us ardently. “I’d rather not have a repeat of Thanksgiving, if you catch my meaning.”

We all nodded and he asked us if there was anything else that we needed. We all shook our heads and thanked him for seeing us.

Beck and I were just settling into class when Roger was called to the office. I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that discussion, but I was sure Roger would ignore the warning and come looking for trouble. The thought didn’t quite bring a smile to my face, but I was kind of looking forward to slapping Roger around. It was a petty glee, but I wasn’t such a paragon of virtue that I’d pass it up if he offered it to me again.

When class was over, I gave Beck a hug and we separated for our next class. “I’ll see you at lunch,” I told her.

She nodded and kissed me before she ran off to race the next bell and I settled in for the rest of the morning.

At lunch, Jessie and Gina came to sit with me and several of the other girls, but Lana and Beck were missing.

“Lana got the text about twenty minutes ago,” Gina explained. “They’re on their way to get the results.”

That sent us all into a wave of panic, knowing that they could be getting bad news right now and we had no way of knowing. I wanted to be with them, but we all agreed this morning that we wouldn’t all race home to be with them. They had Patty, Tabby, Collie, Emma and Louisa to lean on for the next few hours. I put my phone on the table in front of me while we ate and we all glanced at it, willing it to ring. I don’t honestly remember any of the conversation except when Jessie told me she was taking me to my afternoon appointment, since Lana was at home. That part sunk in, but I was mostly unresponsive, waiting for the phone to ring.

The call came close to the end of the early lunch period. We all held our collective breath as I answered the phone. “Hi,” I said, my voice braced for the worst.

“Relax,” Patty said. “They’re fine.” She sounded like she was just getting hold of herself too. I sagged with obvious relief and the girls all joined me in breathing a little easier.

“That’s such a fucking relief!” I told her, feeling the tension oozing out of me. “How are they doing?”

“They’re a little overwhelmed,” she said. “We’re taking the afternoon to calm them down and get them moved back next door. You guys stay there and then go to your appointment with Dr. Spencer. That’s important. We’ll be ready with dinner when you get home.”

“Thanks, Mamma,” I said. “I’m gonna go and let everyone know.”

She hung up and then I took a few minutes to let the girls know that their tests came back clear. We celebrated for the last few minutes of lunch and then they had to go to class. I sent a quick text to Mom to let her know and one to Lilly. I was still working on letting Lilly back in my life, but this was news that she needed to know.

When late lunch started, I saw Roger come into the room and sneer at me with hate in his eyes. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. He was worthless as a human being. He was arrogant and conceited, opinionated and a bigoted, sexist and none too bright. He had delusions that he should lead and no earthly clue what he was talking about unless it was about baseball. His pitching arm was his only saving grace. I thought he might be less of an asshole if something happened to his arm and he had to contemplate a future without baseball, but I wasn’t interested in doing the job. Chances are that he’d sue me and try to claim I’d single-handedly ruined his promising career in the majors.

He’d apparently taken Mr. Peterson’s warning seriously though, because he stayed away from me. Instead, he picked a quiet corner and stared daggers at me. Lilo and Stitch came to sit with me and Tricia joined us a few minutes later. “Well?” she asked expectantly, as soon as she was settled.

“They’re clean,” I told them. That got a chorus of cheers from them and from a few of the girls we knew who were hovering close enough to hear. I grinned. It was a good day. The weight off all our shoulders made late lunch particularly festive. I saw Roberta come in, but she didn’t try to join us. She took notice, but got a table by herself and ate quietly.

“So, does this mean that we shouldn’t look for you at school tomorrow?” Liz asked with a little smirk. As shy as she was, she was getting more comfortable being playful with me.

“Oh, we’ll be here,” I told her. “We may be short on sleep and suffering from severe muscle strain, but we’ll make it. We’ll also be at cheer so you can all laugh at our predicament.”

That got the three of them laughing at me. We’d had an incredible run of good news and I didn’t want to think how lucky we were that it hadn’t gone the other way for us. If just one of those assholes had been sick, they could have spread it to all the girls without remorse.

In fact, Cheryl had been the only dark spot in the news since Vance had died. I took a moment to really appreciate how lucky we had all been. Tricia looked at me and took my hand, seeing the look on my face.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked gently.

“Just thinking about how lucky we’ve been,” I told her. “We’re all clean, safe, recovering and the only one that got pregnant was Cheryl. She’s the only one that’s lost her mind over this and everyone else has been getting the help that we need.” I included myself in the getting help category for my PTSD as much as for my shoulder and physical injuries.

She patted my cheek and smiled. “Today’s a good day,” she agreed. “Just to warn you though, Cheryl’s probably going to be back tomorrow or the next day.”

I nodded. “You telling me that I shouldn’t expect her to have had a change of heart after her fall?” I asked delicately.

She nodded. “She brought you up the other day. It wasn’t flattering.”

“Is it ever?” I asked with a laugh. I knew where I stood with Cheryl and it wasn’t going to change.

“Sometimes she has moments of clarity and asks about you,” she admitted.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “I didn’t think she would, except to try and make sure I was still hurting.”

“She’s not that bad,” she grimaced slightly. “I don’t tell her much. Just that you’re still in pain from the surgery and everything else. None of that is secret though.”

I nodded. “She can get as much from my YouTube page if she really wanted,” I reminded her. “I don’t mind if you tell her public knowledge, but if she starts asking more probing questions, I trust you to know where to draw the line.”

She grinned at me. “Don’t worry. I haven’t told her about your weekend adventure yet. She doesn’t deserve to know about that.”

“Are you suggesting that she doesn’t get to know because she’d enjoy the story or because it would torment her that she left us?” I asked curiously.

“It’s mostly out of kindness to her,” she told me while Janice and Liz listened attentively. “I think she’d hate to hear that you’re not miserable, but underneath, she’d regret that she’s not with you. But I don’t want her to know more about you than she has to. After what she did, she shouldn’t expect to hear about your life.”

I shrugged. “She’s bound to hear some of it. I seem to attract attention these days.”

She smiled and patted my cheek. “Good attention this time,” she said supportively. “At least, lately.”

We chatted back and forth after that, including the other girls and letting the tension of the last couple of months leech out of us as the reality set in that we were free.

When the bell rang, we all went to our afternoon classes and finished out the day. Jessie met me after school with a kiss and a hug. Today was the first time she was taking me to see Dr. Spencer. I think she was excited about it as a rite of passage among the girls, even though there wasn’t much to see.

She begged off on dinner tonight and told me that she didn’t expect that I’d be in school or at practise tomorrow. Silly girl. I’d never skip practise. I kissed her goodbye and told her I’d walk home since it was close. I sent a text to Lana to ask her to make sure someone walked Dawn since I wasn’t sure I’d be allowed out of bed long enough to do it.

I walked to my appointment and was just in time to see Stephanie leaving the office. I smiled at her and she smiled back. “Hi!” I said brightly.

“Hi,” she said shyly, but with a little more confidence than she had when I first met her. “How are you today?”

“I’m having a really good day,” I admitted. “How about you? Are you glad to be back to school?”

She nodded a little. “No one at my school believes I know you,” she admitted with a little frown.

“We can fix that easily enough,” I said. “Do you have a phone?”

She nodded and fished it out of her purse to show me. “Here it is,” she said.

“Let’s take a picture together,” I said. “You can put it on your Facebook and show it to your friends at school if you want proof.”

She grinned and the two of us stood together while she got the camera pointed at us just right. Then she snapped the picture and looked it over to make sure that it was good enough to satisfy her classmates.

When she was certain that it was what she wanted, she turned and gave me a hug before she ran off to show her mother the picture. We traded waves when she got to the corner, like we always seemed to, and then she was gone, leaving me alone with Dr. Spencer.

She showed me in and was still shaking her head. “Some days, you amaze me, Matt,” she told me, referring to Stephanie’s progress since meeting me.

I shrugged casually. “I’m sure that I disappoint you on nearly as many days,” I said lightly.

“Not me,” she said. “It’s interesting that you think you do though. Why is that?”

“Just a casual comment,” I said. “I try not to think of myself as anything but normal and normal people disappoint those around them from time to time.”

“So you project that disappointment on them to keep your ego in check?” she asked. “That’s not an attitude I’d want you to harbor.”

“Well, I did end up killing Vance,” I pointed out. “That had to disappoint you.”

“It scared the Hell out of me, actually,” she confessed. That got my attention. It was so rare that she expressed her own feelings that it was an event all on its own.

“It scared you when I killed him?” I asked, shifting in my seat to focus on her more completely. “Why?”

“Are you forgetting how injured you were?” she asked me, deflecting the issue.

“Not at all, but we were talking about Vance’s death, not my injuries. Why did that scare you?”

“Mostly because of the cost to a person when they take a life,” she told me. “Soldiers and police officers are given training and expert support to cope with the harsh realizations and internal judgments that come from killing someone. I was aware of how deeply you felt it when Miranda died and thought that we might be on the verge of losing you, even if you survived the wounds. If you’ll recall, I was reluctant to show you the footage and was taken by surprise when you shrugged off the event as easily as you did.”

I thought about that and nodded. “I stand by my words though. He was a cockroach and I’m glad I stepped on him before he hurt someone else.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” she said seriously. “I’ll return to this topic several times over the next few months though. I want to make sure that you don’t have lingering feelings of guilt, like you did last summer.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” I agreed. “It’s really not on my mind though. I don’t dream about it, haven’t been watching the clip in my spare time and the only time I even think about him is when the topic of that party comes up, but that’s taken another step toward being a thing of the past today.”

“Oh?” she asked, interested.

“Lana and Beck got their final screening results today. They passed.”

“That’s excellent news,” she said, smiling. “Does that mean that we should cut our session short so that the Bedtime Mafia can get their hooks into you sooner?”

“Nah. They’ll wait until after dinner,” I promised. “They might not WANT to, but they’ll wait.”

We laughed about that for a moment and then returned to our regular talk. “How has school been, now that you’re aware that you’re surrounded by triggers?”

“It’s been okay,” I said, thinking about it. “The girls have been acting like an honor guard, keeping me insulated from anyone that might want to hurt me or some who spent last term inflicting harm on me.”

“That’s been cutting down on the chances for trauma to sneak up on you. You feel safe with them.”

“Seems only fair. They feel safe with me.”

“Not all of them,” she pointed out, bringing us to our next topic.

I grimaced. A lot had happened on that front. “I have news about that,” I told her. “Last week some of the girls were approached to go to a party. The setup was nearly identical to what they were told to expect before Marlene held that party in September.”

“How did it turn out?” she asked.

“We got the word out that the party sounded like it could be the same as that one and tried to warn people not to let their guard down. Cheryl went out of spite. She knew the warning came from me, so she went as a ‘fuck you’ to me for everything that had happened between us. We heard afterwards that the party was completely fine, that nothing was being done like the September party.”

“From the look on your face, there’s more to tell though,” she prompted expectantly.

“Yeah, there is,” I said. “She got drunk and fell down some stairs. She lost her baby.”

“How did that affect you, when you found out?” she asked.

“I was sad, but the news came in stages, so it wasn’t as much of a blow.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we heard that someone had fallen at the party and they had to call an ambulance and then cops had gotten involved and the whole party had turned into a zoo. Separate from that, we heard that Cheryl had fallen on the weekend and had lost the baby. It was Jessie that put the two events together and figured that she was the one that had fallen at the party.”

She nodded. “And you don’t feel at all responsible?” she wanted to know.

“No. I did everything possible to warn her away. If she hates me enough to march into a party, knowing it could end up with her being drugged or worse, then that’s kind of the definition of informed consent. I feel sad that her baby didn’t get a chance to live, but I’m also deeply relieved that she isn’t going to be raising a child, what with her head as messed up as it is, you know?”

She nodded. “It’s maybe not the most charitable sentiment, but I understand and don’t disagree. Parents who are mentally ill tend to let those issues have an influence on how they raise their children.”

“Yeah. As disturbed as Cheryl is, I don’t think she should be in charge of children. Maybe that’s pompous of me, but I kind of cringe inside at the thought of her raising kids.”

“You worried that her feelings towards you would affect the way she raised the baby?” she asked.

“I think that there’s a lot of ways it could go especially wrong,” I said carefully. “If the child looked like one of her attackers, then she may have withdrawn from her emotionally. It’s possible that she could come to view the baby as a constant reminder of what happened. Those are just a few of the possibilities. As she grew up, Cheryl could have come to resent her for not feeling the same way about sex. The list goes on and on. God help us all if the child took a liking to me or started asking about her father.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “Those are all possibilities and we’ll never know which of them might have come up. I think it’s good for you to give those feelings a moment of insight, but only a moment. For better or for worse, Cheryl won’t be raising that baby. If she gets pregnant in the future, she’ll likely be in a better frame of mind to raise a child. That’s all we can really hope for.”

“I’d feel more optimistic about it if she was getting help, but she’s not. Tricia says she’s getting moments of clarity when she asks about me without hostility, but I don’t think they happen very often.”

“With time, we can hope that they come more and more frequently until they become her normal, rather than an event. Speaking of normal, how are things turning out for you?”

“Definitely NOT normal,” I laughed, glad to put the topic of Cheryl to bed for now. “I introduced Jill to my father over the weekend.”

“How did that turn out?” she asked, letting me discuss the topic to my satisfaction.

“We added a new girl to the Sorority on Friday night,” I told her, starting my weekend at the beginning. “Some of the girls had warned me about Jessie in the past, that they didn’t think she was interested in me, so much as she liked what dating me could do for her.”

She nodded and quietly encouraged me to continue without words.

“Well, her feelings have changed, deepened. She had been thinking of me as someone fun to date, but not with a commitment in mind. After Thanksgiving, she started to feel more drawn to me. She was around for me when Cheryl lost it and she’s given me some good advice about my scars.”

“Oh? What advice did she have to give?” she asked, curious.

“She said they were good. That they’d protect me from people who couldn’t see past them. She told me about her great grandfather. She said he had similar scars from World War 2 and that she’d always thought of him as a hero.”

She nodded. “Your scarring came from an act of bravery that few people will ever be called upon to show. You have a lot to be proud of. So those conversations paved the way for her to be your latest girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Emma booked us a room at the Ritz for the weekend. It wasn’t supposed to be us welcoming her home, just sex between close friends. She was at Marlene’s party and wanted someone to teach her a better view of sex than she got there. She confessed that it meant a lot more to her and then we decided that there was room for her with us after we talked it out.”

“None of that describes what happened between Jill and your father,” she pointed out, prompting me to continue.

“I’m getting there,” I promised. “So, Friday night, it was just Jessie and me. We ordered room service and they sent it up with a girl who was shocked to be delivering to two naked people. Jessie wanted her, so we offered her the chance to come back in the morning when she was through work. She took us up on the offer and we took her together. She initially thought that we were older than we are, so she wasn’t comfortable once she found out how young we are. That evening, we all went to have dinner with Dad and Jill. She brought a woman with her and introduced her as her current submissive.”

“Did that bother you?” she asked calmly.

“No, she’d told us that she was bringing a woman with her,” I assured her. “My situation with the girls interested both of them though, so they asked if we’d consider entertaining her sub for the evening while she and Dad took some time to get to know each other better.”

“And did you?”

I nodded. “Emma had booked the suite for the weekend, so we had the room. She wanted extreme treatment and we were fine with that. She was very clear about what she wanted and where her lines were. The problem is that I think she and Jill are angling toward me taking her as my own at some point.”

“Oh? That’s surprising.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Dad suggested that I take Collie and Tabby last summer. He said that he thought that I was providing a good environment for them to thrive in. Maybe I’ve found a rare balance for these kinds of relationships.”

“That’s possible,” she said dismissively. “What’s your feelings on the subject of taking on another?”

“I’m not in favor of it, at least for now. I have a lot of girls that are going out of their way to share me and I want to spend more time with them.”

“Still striving for normal?”

“I’m trying, but I’ve also been asked to visit other schools with the local police and talk about sexual assault. That’s something else that’s new.”

“You’ve got a lot of insight into the topic, given how involved you’ve been in helping those girls recover,” she pointed out. “Are you planning on doing it?”

“I haven’t decided yet, but probably. Some of the girls are encouraging me to do it.” I shifted in my seat a little. “I really don’t want to put more on my plate. I’ve got enough to do to get through every day without worrying about doing more. Does that seem selfish?”

“No,” she told me certainly. “You do far more than anyone has a right to expect from you. You’re active in activities outside of school, you participate in the study with Carl, Julie and myself, you’ve put yourself out there to help the girls. Your YouTube channel is an enviable career, you’re training for a charity event and that doesn’t even consider the number of college courses you take. You’re stretched thin as it is. I would say that if you’re determined to help the police out with this, that you should limit yourself to a VERY light schedule and see how much impact it has on your life.”

“I was thinking about going to one or two and then making a more informed decision,” I admitted.

“That’s not a bad idea,” she told me. “That will give you an idea of how often they visit the schools and how much it would disrupt your schedule.”

I nodded and we talked a little longer about more mundane things before she directed the conversation toward the other subject we’d been working on. “Carl said the two of you had a frank discussion about what he was leaving you,” she said, bringing up the topic.

“Yeah. He told me about the Casa de Carl,” I told her, naming the property. “I didn’t freak out, like was expected. I was surprised at how big he said the place was. I was thinking that it would be a largish home in a good area, but a mansion? That was a little bit of a shock. You’ve seen the place, right?”

“I have,” she said. “If you’d like, I can be there on Saturday when he gives you the tour.”

“That would be wonderful,” I said gratefully. “Not that I think I’ll lose my mind, but it’s going to be a strange day. From what he told me, the property is ideal for what we were planning to look for this summer. On the other hand, I’d rather live in a cardboard box than lose Carl.”

She nodded. “That’s not a choice we get to make,” she reminded me sympathetically. I suspected that she’d have made a similar sacrifice if it meant that Carl would be spared, but she was right. It wasn’t for us to decide. We could only deal with it as it happened.

“I know. It’s just not how I would have wanted to get a house fit for all of us, you know?”

“I do. I know that Carl has considered it a relief that the property will go to you. He knows you’ll do it proud and fill it with far too many kids, given the number of sexual partners you’ve paraded in front of him.”

I chuckled at that. “He still hasn’t met everyone I’ve slept with,” I pointed out. “He knows all the permanent fixtures in my life, but a few of the casual encounters like this weekend have slipped by unnoticed.” I paused, thinking about something she’d said to me in the past. “I think you’re right though. This probably HAS made me less likely to be monogamous later in life. Luckily, I seem to have attracted like-minded women so far.”

“That will likely change as you get older,” she warned. “Right now, you’re all young and having fun. Eventually, some of your girls will want to settle down. They’ll want a husband and children and a life that doesn’t have quite so many partners. Maybe not all of them, but I think that it’ll come up from time to time. Are you prepared for that?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said. “I think the breakups I’ve had have gone a long way toward getting me ready for the day that some of the girls might want to move on.”

“Even Emma?” she prodded.

“Even Emma,” I said. “I hope that she stays most of all and I think she’s more used to this lifestyle than I am. She said it’s relatively common in Hollywood, but they keep it off the public radar.”

She thought about that. “I suppose that hosting parties does well as a cover for people that want to mask overnight guests,” she admitted. “You have a lot of attention focused on you. That may be a situation that you have to address sooner rather than later. I’d advise you to talk to some of the people you know in the industry for guidance in how to handle the press. You’ve done a remarkable job of keeping them at bay so far, but that can’t last, given how popular you are.”