A New Old Watch 9th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 25
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"No, sir. I have no idea what's going on." Bill was on the phone.
Actually, to be truthful, Bill ... err ... Professor William Slagle, Ph.D. had been summoned to the phone by someone who identified himself as having to do with National Security ... or something similar.
"What I suggest, sir, is that you present yourself ... or one of your jackbooted minions at my lab ... presenting valid ID ... which I will call my resources and confirm."
"Oh, you can bet your paycheck I'll find out ... after all ... I wrote your security program."
"If you need to talk to her I WILL be present ... with our attorney ... that's another thing you can make book on.
"Bring a warrant ... if you invade our home without one ... there will be repercussions."
"You know ... I don't think I want to talk to you any longer."
And so it came to pass that the house phone rang and entry to the elevator was demanded.
"And you are?"
"You have a warrant?"
"Do you see the camera in the corner?"
"Any corner."
"Hold up your ID and warrant where I can get a picture."
"Thank you."
"Well, you'll have to wait ... I have to call the judge who signed it."
If it were possible for brains to boil and steam pressure to be released ... ears would be whistling. To make matters worse ... renters stepped in and out at will. There was a lot of, "Oh ... I'll call my dad ... Daddy? There's a man here who wants to arrest me for living here. Sure. Here." The phone was passed.
"Senator Idyllwilde? Yes Sir ... she's about five foot five inches, blonde, blue ... tattoo? Young lady do you have a tattoo? Erk! Yes Sir ... Sorry to bother you sir. Yes sir ... interesting place for a tattoo. Too much information sir." "Your phone Miss Idyllwilde ... you can go."
"You have made me late for class ... Is that your black Suburban? I notice it's running ... I'll just take that."
She did.
He was just about to run after her when the elevator door opened. The speaker in the back of the cage announced, "Mr. Secret Agent. You can come up. Everything is on tape and audio. Be polite. The recorder is in the local station for NBC. The instant you pick up a phone without my permission, everything gets on TV live. And I am that important." Bill wasn't kidding.
The elevator door opened and a rather short individual dressed in a black suit, white shirt, thin black tie, black socks and black spit shined shoes so glossy Bill could see his reflection.
He had his ID folder out and his leather badge case in his breast pocket. He looked around.
"Where is she?"
"Who?"
"Don't play games with me, Mr. Slagle."
"Doctor."
"Look, Slagle. Your wife ... I have questions for your wife."
"You are?"
"Henderson, Special Agent Henderson."
"Well, Henderson."
"Agent Henderson, Slagle"
"Doctor Slagle, Henderson."
"Agent Henderson."
"You only get one more chance, Henderson, and this is breaking news.
"Look Slagle."
Myron C. Jones, USMC, at times could swear the life Jerry Garcia wrote about was Myron's life... 'What a long strange trip it's been.' Marine Lance Corporal Jones, "Jonesy," was a crackerjack bulldozer driver before he joined the Marines ... after nineteen years in the Corps, he wasn't much better. (Crackerjack. A cheap prize from a box of popcorn.) Jonesy has been, variously, a private, a Sergeant, a Warrant, a Sergeant, a private, and nearly every possible rank in the Corps. Once...
One of the Seven ... a Separatist ... separated from the Seven and tossed Andrea a watch. "Here, have mine," He shouted and conjoined with the rest. Even though he was One of Seven, they could hear him laughing until he was out of hearing. I'd like to say Tim was speechless ... I know Andrea was. Very little could shut Tim's mouth. "Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!" he exclaimed. "You know ... No I guess you don't ... I'll tell you." He paused for breath, "The Powers that Be...
A New Old Watch: 83. You remember last time, David had recovered from his fall and was about to be married to Andrea onboard a British Submarine. They did. After that, they sailed into Pearl, fired off 21 guns to the country, dipped the flag to half a dozen Admirals, hoisted the US flag, the Hawaiian flag and called on the Port Authority. Andrea made an impressive Fleet Admiral of the Nevis and St. Kitts Navy. While Andrea was impressing, David, dressed in his whites but wearing his charred...
At noon the next day, the crew was assembled with David on the foredeck. Coins were flipped and rock, paper, scissors was played until the six sextants all had students. Shooting the sun at noon is simple ... it's the math that gets you. Bowditches' Tables helped, but at least one student discovered that they were at the source of the Amazon ... everybody else was close to their actual position. As soon as the intrepid Amazonian explorer discovered that decimal point placement could have a...
"Why?" she asked. "It's like this ... I'm going to be your instructor. Instead of sailing out the channel and going round and round and coming back every night for the time it takes ... usually a month ... we just go ... I teach you in short hops, like from here to Ludington ... from Ludington to Manistee ... and like that. Otherwise a month and a half of lessons will make it mid October and two weeks to the Winds of November. If you're as smart as I think you are ... in a month and a...
Aboard the Pretty Penny, the crew watched in horror as the explosion jellied the four men in the water. Wikipedia says: The effects of an underwater explosion depend on several things, including distance from the explosion, the energy of the explosion, the depth of the explosion, and the depth of the water. Underwater explosions are categorized by the depth of the explosion. Shallow underwater explosions are those where a crater formed at the water's surface is large in comparison with...
One of the problems of the Pacific: It's a long fucking way from here to there ... no matter where here is, there is waaaay over there. That single problem gives way to the second problem: Where do you find enough fresh food to keep the crew healthy? In the case of the Galapagos, one goes to Saint Christopher. For the crew of the Pretty Penny, Saint Christopher presented a no brainer. They were, after all, the Nevis and St. Christopher Navy. To sail to Saint Christopher, the Intertropical...
(Authors note: I know I made it sound like Bill Slagle knows about the watch ... he doesn't.) The welcome home was enthusiastic ... satisfying and thorough. Changing the sheets for a dry spot and opening the windows on both ends of 'the attic' dissipated the 'freshly fucked' atmosphere. Our happy lovers showered and headed out to replenish depleted energy sources ... PIZZA! Anyone watching the pair would never expect they were married ... married couples don't cuddle on one bench in a...
While Bitsie was lettering King's Knight - Pentwater, Michigan across the boats butt ... oh heck ... I had something else ... but that can come later. KING'S KNIGHT was done in black with red outline far enough away from the black so the white base paint showed. It's a big boat and has a big ass so Bitsie painted big letters ... with a fancy double line and a swirl between the name and the homeport... PENTWATER, MICHIGAN, that was done in 7 and a half inch letters that were half the size...
While they were sailing in circles waiting for the C-130, the Twins asked David to marry them. No ... not David ... Chris and Sarah ... C'Twin and S'Twin asked David to perform a wedding ... Damn it all. The Twins asked Chris and Sarah to be their respective brides and then they asked David, in his office of Captain to marry the four of them ... No ... Not David taking the four of them as brides ... Damn it all. "David, Sarah and I want to get married, will you perform the office?"...
It is an axiom of life: Horny girls and horny boys make babies ... in 1963. However, a modern, right thinking, twenty-two year old girl from 1988 will be on the pill. By the way ... Horny ... hormonal ... how about that. "Professor Slagle? Taking my life in my hands, I beg your indulgence," said David. They were putting away the beer. Big boats have room for extras ... like a nice, big, propane powered fridge ... in this case, a walk in cooler. It was behind the bar in the salon. Boats...
"Oh my, that's a beautiful boat. How did it end up in receivership ... and here. This isn't the biggest Marina on Lake Michigan." "Chicago to Mackinac race." "So?" Andrea was curious, "Lots of boats run the race." She was standing back away from the biggest sailboat she'd ever seen up close and personal. Eighty-seven feet with a thirty foot beam and two decks, dual Detroit's, water maker, 250 gallon fresh water, Radar, (near and far) Side looking Sonar, one hundred foot mast,...
"Oh Hell ... Junior? Run next door and send your David over here." Wendy Too asked. "My David? You mean dad?" Junior was confused. "No ... Andrea's David." "Andrea has a David?" Now she was really confused. "Junior! Git!" "Yes mom," she got. She was intercepted at the door. "Members only, girl," said Geoff. "I need David ... My big mouth has caused an emergency ... Mom sent me." Junior explained, quite unsatisfactory. "Who are you?" Ah, the big question. "Junior...
They left from the porch. For a couple of days, Jean wondered who the man in her house had been. She certainly didn't know why she had a complete Intensive Care Unit and bed ... complete with monitors she'd never seen and pumps that didn't exist ... on her newly enclosed back porch ... in the addition she had no idea was there. There was plenty of evidence that the bed was recently used. "Christ! I get enough of that at work ... why would I do it at home?" But, everybody at the Shelby...
And that's what they did. If it was fun ... they found it. If it was educational ... they did it. Cedar Point, Sandusky's amusement park had a carousel, the Laff-in-the-Dark, Rocket Ships, and Loop-A-Plane, rides that were new in 1946 but a little old hat on 1963. They rode the Wild Mouse, a roller coaster and the monorail, dunked in bathhouse, and rode the new Cedar Point & Lake Erie Railroad so they didn't have to walk from the middle of the park to the back. They walked the sandy...
You remember last time. They had just made a purchase of six sextants ... really good sextants, with mahogany cases and the New American. It was Andrea, the Twins and David ... remember? David pulled away from the curb and decided the best way to find the dock area was to keep going to the river. The French were partial to wheel spoke streets. Detroit was laid out by the French so there were three main spokes in the wheel centered on the Fur Trading Post on the river. Coming in from the...
The second thing Andrea did after eliminating the threat to the 'Colored Burying Ground, ' was dropping back to 1937 and purchasing a set of fenders, front end chrome and rocker panels for the 1934 Ford two door sedan that would soon become Pink. For some unknown reason, the watch knew to the second when to drop off the parts. Then she checked the Spanish Lottery, discovered the winning numbers and left the note. Smuggling the paint into the body shop took a little ingenuity, but she got...
Of course, the King's Knight had already sailed. Julia stayed ... she left the cameras. After all, it was Andrea who was supposed to be taking the photos for National Geographic. The girls from the boat had been transferred by helicopter to a secret government hospital in Ann Arbor. It must be admitted that the Coast Guard thought they got them all. So, the Knight was long gone ... well, about four hours ... when the barge sunk. Middle Bass Island is where they were headed so David could...
The grieving process is different for everyone ... no matter what 'licensed professionals' try to tell you. In Andrea's case they tried to stuff her in a grieving box that had absolutely no connection with the facts. "Your husband is dead," the tenth licensed professional said. "You keep telling me something I already know." "You need to move on." "You won't let me." "What do you mean?" "My husband is dead ... and you keep telling me that. Give it a rest. The man who...
There is something about a half drowned terrified kitten ... Yup ... five out of six ends are sharp and the one that isn't sharp may not have good sphincter control. David said, "First thing we do is get a fifty five gallon drum of beach sand ... and probably the same again nest week. Can you believe the volume of that kitten? OUCH! Careful with the iodine!! Nyoman ... is your nickname Doctor Pain?" The crew was sitting at the portable sidescan sonar trying to decide if the helicopter...
The rigging crew left them at Portage Lake ... they overnighted and went to the races with Julie and the crew. A raucous night ... the track was sand but well watered and packed. It wasn't clay racing but it was fun. The track was close to round so no matter where you sat it was on a curve. In dirt track racing all the action happens on a curve. It was a full half mile so the modifieds were really moving. After two days on a sailboat the speed of the cars was mesmerizing. They sat together...
It's been a long and tiring day for the gods ... there's always so much to catch up on after a long Labor day weekend. Thor and the boys aren't all seeing, all hearing, or in complete control like one of the other gods ... or so he claims. Fate had her feet up and munching buttered popcorn. She'd been looking ... and planning this little disaster ever since Andrea managed to slip past her fate when she caught the watch batted by the sturgeon. "Damn it all! I missed it the first time...
This is to fix a problem with how Connie and her brother became crew on the Pretty Penny: The original intention was to have two parallel stories running at the same time ... So 'Begin Again' was started. I never finished it. It was the laser hair removal her brother gave her for her sixteenth birthday ... and they didn't grow back ... and didn't leave a scar ... well ... maybe just a little one, ... when the technician slipped ... but it wasn't completely disfiguring ... not totally...
Well, Tim was in watch invisibility mode and wondering the same thing. 'That bunch on the barge are absolutely guilty ... the Coast Guard knows it ... the girls know it. If I just flash the pen ... then nobody remembers ... no one can testify because no one knows. When they get that wreck off the bottom they're going to know there was no reason for that boat to sink.' The higher ups ... the ones who pay for all this ... felt it was getting too dangerous to let it go on. Snuff movies pay...
Tolkien said it best: "Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale, and take a deal of telling anyway." The trip to Sebewaing wasn't fraught with heavy seas and high adventure. There were no pirates, no secret rendezvous with a Nazi U-Boat, not even anything as terrifying as a strafing by black aircraft...
The cats turned up their combined noses at bag cat food. The Pennies tried them all. Al Sanchez found the only good use for dry cat chow ... not necessarily the brand ... to the cats it's generic ... like fridge ... kleenex ... coke ... things of that nature ... it's all cat chow ... and they won't eat it. Al put it in a cheesecloth bag and tied it to a fishing line in front of the hook, so ... if a fish bites he gets the hook too ... sea bass love cat chow ... the cats love fish guts,...
"If you were setting up the course, what would you recommend?" David was curious, now that he was over stunned. Junior gave the chats a quick glance, "Lake Erie is shallow and this end has a lot of wannabe islands ... rises and humps that make life interesting for sailors. I'd steer 123 degrees off north and pay close attention to Rattlesnake Island. We'll miss Sister to starboard but 123 would rack us up on this ... bump ... can't call it a reef ... a reef is coral." David looked at...
"Thank you officer." "You're welcome, Miss." "Mrs." "Excuse me. Mrs Slagle. You have a doctorate? Kinda young for that, aren't you?" "I got skipped a few grades in High School," she said, all the while thinking, 'Mostly.' That brought a slight smile to her face. The two policemen tipped hats to the room, thanked the owner for her time and left. Daisy showed them out. "I know this isn't the time or place for it ... it might even sound like levity, but, I'm going to check...
Oh, yes. It was exciting. It was so exciting that Andrea forgot her nautical. "David, turn right. And for God's sake, slow down. The screen that watches the bottom has bumps and some of them are pretty damn close..." David did slow down... "Right a little..." She held up her left hand, looked at and... "No ... my right ... er ... left ... yes, turn left." She hollered, "Junior! I need you!" "I'm busy, Andie." "I need someone to watch the other screen." She screeched,...
There's a pretty decent current flowing down the St. Clair River. Speed according to knot meter is different than the speed over the ground. Speed over the ground is the combination of knots on the water and mph over the ground. While it is possible to sail the St. Clair, it is much easier ... and more prudent ... to motor. (Hull speed is the designed speed that a displacement hull sailboat can go. It depends on several factors. The author looked it up. Kings Knight has a hull speed of just...
"Well," said Andrea. "We know where the watch is. The only problem is it's not broke." "Shall we give Amos the shadow of a doubt? I'd hate to accuse the boy of stealing it" "He's your employee ... you're calling the shots." "You have the most unusual way with words ... Calling the shots? Where is that from?" "In my time, it's a pool ... that's billiards with pockets ... term. Calling the shot is calling the pocket." "I am aware of the game ... sinful is what it...
They had six sextants to calibrate. David wanted to do them all at noon. That meant six days on the islands. "Does that mean we'll be here for the Last Bash?" asked Junior. "Looks that way," said David. "Great ... I'll call mom and see if I can go." Mom showed up seconds later. After an explaination of Last Bash and a couple of fades from Wendy Too, mom stabilized in front of Junior. She turned her head and spoke to Andrea, "Wow! Sometimes I forget what normal kids are like....
It was like slow sand. Quicksand sucks one under ... slow sand spits out the dead. She had been dead ... she was sure. She was positive dead was going to be more comfortable than alive. She was coming up from a long time down. She ached ... all over more than any one place. "You're awake. Here, suck on this." It was a melodious voice, one that had practice speaking to survivors. 'This' was cold and wet ... it felt good on an unused throat. "Do you remember what happened?" "No,"...
"Junior? You'll be ok?" asked Chris. Chris, and her Twin, and Sarah and her Twin were about to dive into the Lake at Put-in-Bay and join the party. The King's Knight was anchored just out past the three fathom line. David had told Andrea that 18 feet of water should be plenty. They had simply motored over to the bay. There definitely wasn't a problem finding it ... they were guided by the noise of ten thousand drunk or high college kids having a last weekend of decent weather partying....
Junior didn't get away that easy. Wendolyn Too convinced Andrea to stick around awhile. Lake Erie was coming up next and navigation lessons were just around the corner. "A good USEABLE sextant isn't cheap," said David. "We're heading off to prove it." They all piled into a rented Ford Econoline Van and headed out. Everybody but Junior and Greg. They went back to the boat in a poke. The huge doors were blocked by a chain link fence with barbed wire overhangs on both sides. It was...
(Excerpted from Wikipedia. With a few personal old wives tales added.) A Pacific hurricane is a tropical cyclone that develops within the eastern and central Pacific Ocean to the east of 180°W, north of the equator. For tropical cyclone warning purposes, the northern Pacific is divided into three regions: the eastern (North America to 140°W), central (140°E to 180°), and western (180° to 100°E), while the southern Pacific is divided into 2 sections, the Australian region (90E to 160°E), the...
"Ma'am ... you can't go over there," said the man in black. "He's dead." "I know that, I'm not blind." Andrea was pissed, "I need to get in that closet." "You're upset." "You have no idea," she said. "I still need to get to that closet." "I can't let you do that." "You have to let me do that, I need to finish this." "Ok ... what's in the closet?" "My armory. I have a rifle in that closet that I can use to get him." "That's impossible ... you don't even...
Due to the way the Canadian Coast Guard was operated, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Man (Mountie, remember Sergeant Preston of The Yukon? They really do dress like that.) (And not like Duddly Doright of the Bullwinkle Show.) took out his 'Occurrence Book' and began writing everything down. Almost immediately there arose a problem. "Registration, please." "I'll fetch it," replied David. He went below. Soon, there was the sounds of drawers opening and a modicum of muttered cursing....
What a thing to say on national TV. Pretty soon Bill's phone rang. The voice identified himself as Henderson's boss. As per request Bill handed the phone over ... All Bill could hear was Henderson's side and it didn't sound too good. When the agent admitted that his Suburban was somewhere on campus, that was the end of it. Mr. Ex- Special Agent Henderson was out the door and riding shanks mare ... footing it on the way to the bus station. There was a ticket waiting for him ......
" ... Winds to 55, gusts topping 80. Temperature at 6:30Pm: 55. Expected low: 38." David was dreaming a comfortable dream when Andrea buzzed him on the intercom. "Yes?" "Weather Report," Andie responded, "It's not looking great." "I'll come up." The dream David had been dreaming was of his mother rocking him in his cradle when he was two years old. The gentle sway back and forth was calming him ... and he had been agitated. Mom had informed him that tonight was his last night...
Auntie Elizabeth couldn't come to the ceremony but her sister was cruising the British West Indies and happened to be in the neighborhood. It is often the case that a spare Royal just happens along to take on the duties of the Commonwealth. Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowden, Viscountess Lindley, Companion of the Imperial Order of India, Grand Dame of the Victorian Order, Grand Dame of St. John of Malta, stepped up to the bow of the boat and smashed the bottle of...
The stop in the Bahamas was after Andrea decided she needed new clothes. Jake was rapidly becoming an asset. He had no problem finding things to do to keep busy ... and he was now excellent crew. They joined the Intracoastal Waterway at St. Augustine and sailed south heading for Miami. When they arrived in Miami, Andrea needed new clothes. She spent like a sailor. While this was going on, Jake and David were having the bottom scrapped and painted and the old zincs replaced with new. They...
In the best of all possible worlds, it would be easy to float anti-gravity DANGER NO TRESPASSING signs around the barges ... Or CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS tape between available trees or fences. This would have to involve majick or science fiction. Since this is a factual account, that would not be possible. No ... Murphy must have his day and this is how that turned out. The Kings Knight took the long way around. The dredged channel is the short but extremely crowded passage between Harsens...
"That man is still in the water because he shot at my captain," said Andrea. She was watching him still. "Why did he shoot at your captain?" The questioner was wearing the uniform of a petty officer, first class. Julia stepped out from the pilothouse, "Probably because he was trying to get rid of witnesses." She had her camera ... and a PRESS badge? She started taking photos right, left and center. "Before we get too far along in the whys and wherefores," David said, "Can I get...
In early April of 1989, Connie McDavid, high school sophomore, was at the beach near Brownsville, Texas, doing her favorite thing ... Bird Watching ... specifically ... Sea Gulls. She was a moderately pretty girl ... not tall ... not short ... she had regular features and flyaway curly red hair that surrounded her head like a foamy halo and deep sea green eyes. When in the captivity of her mother or father but less so accompanied by her brother, she displayed the pleasing manners and gentle...
At Greg's, David was trying to explain how he got back. The entire yard crew was playing the Peanut Gallery. Bleachers would have been nice ... theater seating would have been better. Greg had a huge map of Detroit and was pointing out David's errors. "Yes. It would have been easier to take 16th to VanDyke," said David. Greg was using his pencil like a conductors baton. "I'd like to know why 16th street has Mile instead of Street?" David was looking for information. "That's...
It really doesn't matter who you assign which statement to because the questions were asked multiple times by multiple people. Just know that Andie didn't say a word ... her teeth were chattering too hard. She was afraid she'd bite off her tongue if she tried to speak. The shivers and chatters were the combination of Lake Superior water flooding out of the Soo Locks and coming off the adrenalin after getting shot at. "Where have you been?" "We've been looking all over for...
Her Majesty's Nevis & St. Kitts Brig Pretty Penny motored out from Key West. Too tall for the short cut she sailed out to Fort Jefferson. As soon as the boat was out of sight of land, there came a troupe of tiny Balinese Cuban Americans in even tinier bikinis, carrying pitchers of iced tea and large towels. The towels were spread, the tea was poured, brown skin was exposed and the tanning began. Mrs. Sanchez stripped down along with her flock and laid in the sun. As soon as the suits...
Chief Sanchez was instructing the crew on the now permanent changes to the Pretty Penny. He started in the engine room. David mentioned the space. The engine room was huge. "I always did like Rolls Royce. So we replaced the 1500 horsepower MTU diesels with twin 7,000 SHP (shaft horsepower) MT7 gas turbines." He lovingly caressed one of two titanium boxes. "The boxes are five feet long, three feet high and 30 inches wide mounted to the engine mounts. They were nearly 5000 pounds each...
"Just one question before I sign." Andrea had an inventory of everything that had been on the boat. It took two days of poking and prodding to find everything. It was all there ... even the shell cases from the expended rounds. The rear bulkhead was gone, they had to remove it to get the bomb out ... it was as close to together as they could make it. Everything worked ... All the chests, all the boxes, Alles ist in Ordnung!. A place for everything and everything in its place. "What?"...
“How far are you going, Jake?” Andrea asked. “South,” he replied. “That’s the way we’re going ... but how far are you going?” David asked. “South I am going. Loss of secret government job. Refused, I did, to certain requirements. Passport, have I none. Naturalized citizen am I. Ph.D have I.” Although he wouldn’t tell them what he’d done or where the lab was, “Secret I swore,” he still got it across in that Indian British English so often portrayed on TV and in the movies. “How long you...
"Yes, Andrea," said David. "You're a fucking Admiral. Take a look at Jake ... seaman apprentice." Andie took her eyes off her new uniform jacket and turned to look at Jake. He was just slipping it on. "That's not a seaman apprentice uniform ... that's a lieutenant commander. Two and a half sleeve stripes." She accosted David, "You Sir, are a terrible Liar!!" "Got to be an officer to work the torpedoes. We'll have to teach him how they work. It should be fun ... trust...
Now the work began. You can snap a hull in half tightening the rigging. But you can hog a hull leaving it too loose. Standing rigging keeps the mast from falling forward or back or sideways ... or any other angle you can think of. Aluminum has a 'period of stress' that limits it's time of use. Aluminum has just so many flexes in it and you don't know then you've used it up. One bend too many and it breaks. There are aluminum hulled boats that were still good after forty years that sunk...
Jake Gholjub went, each day, to the city piers, and stuck out his thumb. Each night he returned to his cardboard box in the alley behind a row of restaurants. He had an 'arrangement' with the chefs. Every night one of the several restaurants fed him leftovers. At one meal a day, Jake was painfully thin, but he was strong. In exchange for his one meal, Gholjub kept the alley spotless and free from bums. In 1960, J. Gholjub, Ph.D., naturalized citizen of the United States, native of New...
"No! No! No! No! ... You stupid bird ... come back with that! Damn it all to hell, David, that wasn't supposed to happen!" Andrea shook her fist at the gull. He did circle back ... and shit on the deck ... missed her by inches. So ... let's do a little time travel of our own. The Pretty Penny had out run the storm ... not exactly ... the Penny had outlasted the storm. It had become necessary for them to sail to Houston Texas to pick up new cameras. National Geographic had won their suit...
"You what?" she screeched. "This is what we found in the master stateroom." Chuck and Chester held out a handful of assorted pinhole cameras, microphones, transmitters and motion detectors. "Oh god ... pitch 'em over the side." "We can't ... they are all plainly engraved, 'PROPERTY OF UNITED STATES.'" "Give 'em to me, I'll do it. You guys are citizens ... we're not ... sort of ... dual citizenship and diplomatic immunity, anyway." Reluctantly, they handed the handful...
The kids came back from their day on the beach ... some of them were not alone. It was getting a little noisy when David said, "Hey! Quiet down. Andrea in sleeping." Beth and Barb, twinning it, said, "She's done it again?" "Yeah, Admiral Lightweight proved it again." "Poor baby ... she shouldn't drink," Nyoman agreed, "She's like me ... too small to imbibe." The volunteer crew took the party to the bow. "What's in the boxes," one of the new guys asked. He was French ......
They've gotten to the point. They have no choice ... wind, they sail, no wind, they are going to motor in. The holding tank is full. That's bad. Guys don't seem to have any problem peeing over the side ... and they do. Girls don't want guys to know they fart ... let alone pee ... and they really don't want their brothers to know it. Boys are ... well ... they poke fun ... and embarrass ... not that girls don't do it too. True story: In Israel, the kibbutzniks, residents of a...