Your Mum Your Mum
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HereXXX free porn video
“Here XXX” is a simple enough statement, one of those two-word phrases that can get the point across even if you’re trying to speak through a language barrier. You might be otherwise completely confused throughout the whole conversation, but when you get to that line, you know something good is going to happen: you’re about to get some free porn.
Sometimes when I wake up in a Viagra fog and can barely remember where I am, I ask myself, “Where XXX?” Well, one place it can be found is HereXXX.com, an Asian free tube full of Chinese sluts, Korean whores and Japanese harlots. Everyone on the news has been complaining about the coronavirus over the past year, but if you want the truth, it’s my yellow fever that’s really been acting up. This joint sounds like they might have exactly the Far Eastern medical treatment I need for this blistering case of blue balls.
Where XXX? Here XXX!
When I first loaded up HereXXX, my initial thought was that it was another JAV tube, devoted to nothing but Japanese Adult Video. The first thing I noticed were a couple of blurred-out cooters, Asian babes in sepia-lit hotel rooms, and some chicks in sexy cosplay. You know, the typical stuff you expect from a JAV tube.
Then I looked a little closer. The thumbnails show screengrabs instead of the DVD covers you’ll usually find on the JAV-only sites, and most of the stills are uncensored. The video titles are written in a few languages, not just Japanese and English, but Korean as well, and I also noticed some Thai script. The pan-Asian pornographic nature of HereXXX.com is also obvious in their header, which has quick links to their Chinese, Korean and Japanese sections.
It’s mainly lovely Asian ladies getting banged out front, but I also see a smattering of Western porno with white girls. The American stuff looks like the same paysite samples you’ll find on other tubes, with big-name starlets getting banged in 10-minute montages designed to lure you home for a full-priced membership. There’s an interracial scene with Eliza Ibarra that was added recently, which added a good half hour and a fair amount of semen cleanup to my review this morning.
The stash looks hot as fuck, and holy shit, it runs deep. It turns out the front page is just the creamy film on the very surface. The entire Asian porn archive at HereXXX stretches on for thousands of pages, encompassing over 65,000 dirty movies. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m stuck at home, because I’ve clearly got a lot of work to do. (By that, I mean I’m going to be masturbating intensely for a long time.)
It doesn’t take a math whiz to figure out the implications of that massive collection. HereXXX.com wasn’t even registered until midway through 2019, so it’s not like they spent a decade building up that stash. I flipped through the upload dates of some of the newest content, and sure enough, dozens of new movies are added every day. Now you have something new to check compulsively for fresh content besides the usual social media bullshit, and it’s way easier to beat off to than Facebook.
What Are These Ladies Getting Into?
When I visit JAV sites, I always expect to find the kinkiest, freakiest depravity in the world all lined up and on display, minus all the genitalia which has been blurred out. Since Here XXX is more of an all-around Asian tube, my expectations were a bit different. While the front page ain’t covered in pissing schoolgirls, office lady extreme XXX movies and bus molesters like some of the Japanese sites, there’s a beautiful selection of Asian porno subgenres to peruse.
Without even leaving the landing page, the Members Watching Now section shows me Japanese girls boned in uncensored leaks, Thai babes getting creampied, and a couple of different Korean blowjobs. Scrolling down to today’s newest uploads, there are Korean strippers shaking their T&A for rooms full of perverts, hentai with full-on fucking, some foot fetish and BBC, not to mention some white lesbians having some BDSM fun.
Click through to the HereXXX.com Categories page and you’ll find a streamlined list of under 30 thumbnailed subgenres of smut. It’s definitely an unusual list compared to most porn sites or even Asian tubes. Many of the categories are ethnic, like their collection of 962 Singapore movies, 13 Vietnam films and 183 Thailand pornos. I imagine there’s some overlap between their 7184 Chinese films and the 5429 filed under China and the 284 listed with the Hong Kong label.
Common categories like Blowjob, Lesbian and Anal are conspicuously absent, as are JAV staples like Cosplay or Bukkake. There are some with deeper specificity, like Korean BJ Uncensored and Korean BJ Lesbian. In case you’re wondering, no, there isn’t a lot of dicks being sucked in that weirdly named latter category of Asian dykes.
The slim list of Categories wouldn’t be so bad if Here XXX also used Tags, as most other video sites do. The current setup means it’s going to be hard to find specific sex acts, fetishes, body types or scenarios unless they’re listed in the title of the video. It’d admittedly be an overwhelming undertaking to go through and index the 65k movies already in the collection, but adding tags to new movies would improve the organization.
What’s Korean Lesbian BJ?
I’ve been giving myself a little wank break here and there as I write up this writeup of HereXXX, but it was finally time to settle in for my official fap test. Since most of the Asian sites I’ve reviewed lately have been JAV extravaganzas, I figured I’d start with one of the newer Korean movies on the menu. Porn is technically illegal in both North and South Korea, so a lot of the smut you run into has similar censorship issues to its Japanese counterparts. HereXXX.com has a section called KBJ Korean BJ Uncensored, which I thought would be my shortcut to the good stuff.
I think Here XXX just uses the initials BJ as a generic acronym for sex. I can’t imagine what it stands for, but it can’t be BlowJob. I clicked through to the Korean BJ Uncensored aisle and there are many solo girls rubbing their twats, erotic nude stretching, and stripping for webcam peep shows that were live at some point.
All the solo stuff was a little softcore for my tastes this morning, so I found my way to a “Korean BJ Lesbian” movie that didn’t feature a BJ, but did feature lesbians. A skinny chick and a more full-bodied, big-titty babe began by sucking each other’s tits in bed. Another Korean chick is off-camera, talking to them as they touch their pussies and show the camera their wet fingers.
It’s a nice, long homemade Asian porno, running nearly an hour long. The resolution is a little low by modern standards, but I like the intimacy of the scene. The vibe feels raw and real, with exactly the kind of passion you expect from a good amateur movie. Although South Korean anti-porn laws are rarely enforced, the sense of risk heightens the eroticism; these chicks were so into each other, they had to get their liaison on video, consequences be damned!
Below the video player, I found another major selling point for Here XXX: there’s a built-in Download button for every movie on the site. The one downside is that you’ve got to sign up for a free account first, but that isn’t much of an investment. Giving out your email address always comes with a risk of spam somewhere down the line, but a lot of the paysites these days take your email address and your money and still don’t let you download.
With my adblocker engaged, I didn’t see a single bit of spam during my visit to HereXXX. Sometimes that’s just a matter of visiting a site on a good day when the adblocker companies are winning the war against the ad companies, but the site has an overall clean vibe. This isn’t a spam minefield like some of the lesser Asian tubes out there.
While the library could be organized a little better, it’s hard to find a real complaint about HereXXX.com and the content they’re serving up. Their enormous collection and inclusion of a variety of Asian countries makes them a welcome alternative for cultured perverts who want more than the usual set of Japanese fuck flicks. If you’ve got yellow fever but aren’t sure if you want Japanese, Korean, Chinese or Thai creampies for breakfast, check this out.
Tammi
- 07.03.2023
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