Monty indian porn

Never Trust Your Uncle

I usually spent my summer vacations up in the Catskills sitting around and bullshitting with my uncle Charley. He was a mysterious lab rat doing unmentionable things for unmentionable government departments, but he always took time to sit and talk with me. One night, deep in our beers, I wondered what it would take to have an early American cabin that would magically appear at whatever event I wanted it to appear. I remain to this day an early-American re-enactor, focusing my efforts on just...

None Of This Really Happened Not To Us

We took the train to London together, just the two of us going to this massive club night in the dark, all dressed up with rucksacks and the works, booked into a hotel and rested up a bit before we went out. After Angel station the whole night, right up until seven am when we finally get out, is a huge blur. Fantastic music, great dancing. So high on it all. We went up as two and we came back as four. Both of us thinking what the fuck, both of us with tricks in tow. And why hadn't we got rid...

Art Appreciation

I’ve written up one of my lectures, hoping it might count as a publication in my tenure package. LECTURE BEGINS “Today we’ll talk about Cupid and Venus, also known as Cupid and Psyche, or as or as they were known to ancient Greeks, Eros and Aphrodite, the god of erotic desire, and his mother, the goddess of love. Whatever the legend, Venus is Cupid’s mother. Sexual revolution before the 60s, we can call it.” It’s good to begin a lecture with a bit of humor, my experience. Wakes them up....

A Dog of a Morning

“Can’t you understand Doc, it’s not a mental thing ... well it’s physical, you know,” whined Gina Sillitoe, staring at her hands interwoven in her lap. Doctor Henrik Roscoe peered at her over his specs perched perilously close to falling off his red, bulbous, pock marked nose. The attractive blonde was one of his favourite patients, one of the few bright spots of his otherwise unexciting rounds of dreary and depressing women in trauma. Her family wealth, local standing and prestige businesses...

A Strange Physical

Changing my job led me to a special physical examination which will live with me for years to come. I had to select the doctor from an approved list; and having called two or three of them I was finally given the appointment time by the fifth doctor I contacted. A little about myself, forty years old; five eleven tall; slightly overweight with a seven inch penis; I have never considered myself as being gay or even bisexual but to be truthful, I would never be one to walk away from a sexual...

Days in the Life of a Psychopath

Northern America, Midwest, sometime last decade It was one of these afternoons. Scientists had just proven that it would be possible to grow donor hearts outside the human body and I had acquired another speck of dirt on my brand new shoes. It is strange: If you shine an old pair of shoes they look good for days on end, but a new shine on a new pair of shoes gets dirty in minutes. How does dirt know that your shoes are new? Anyway, I did not mean to get carried away: There I was, dirty shoe...

An Acquired Taste

My first girlfriend developed my inner cuckold in my freshman year of college. In high school I was a pimply geek, and never had any luck getting a date. If it hadn't been for a friend's sister who made out with me a few times, I'd have gone to college without ever being kissed. In the summer before college I grew out of the acne. Though my physical appearance was better I still had the self-esteem of a high school loser. In the first month of my first semester I couldn't believe my luck....

Oscar MeyersChapter 24

Turning at the end of the private road leading from the Druid College, Oscar jogged down the county road trying to burn off some excess energy. While robes were a unique fashion statement that set the Druids apart from everyone else, they were not designed to facilitate jogging while wearing them. He had his robes held up by a belt so that the hem was only to his knees. It looked ridiculous and he knew it, but he didn’t really care. A car pulled up beside him honking the horn. He looked over...

Goodbye Miss GrangerChapter 11 Sponge Toss

My rushed getaway from Josh meant I arrived the Sponge Toss booth ten minutes early, so I had an opportunity to get a feel for the game before I started getting hit with wet sponges. Mr Mitchell the P.E. teacher was on-deck, his wet and smiling face mounted above the brightly coloured body of a clown painted on the outside of the booth, while a line of senior boys tried and mostly failed to hit him with large, wet rectangular sponges. It didn't take long to work out that this game was a...

Recluse and GhostChapter 18

The weekend was very pleasant. Saturday's market wasn't as much fun since I didn't have my sidekick hanging around with me almost everywhere I went. It's funny how close Ben and I had become in the little over a year that I had known him. Mom and the girls were busy bartering for and with material, thread, staples, and canned fruits and vegetables. This was like having a garage sale, but with items that were needed by both buyers and sellers. I spent some time negotiating for several...

Wendolyn Too Number 4 in STOPWATCHChapter 13

Life goes on, I need to find someone to scratch and lotion my boobs. They itch. The Chief from the Guard Station in Ludington was right. I might be short but I'm curvy ... very curvy ... and getting curvier. Nice, polite people called it 'entering into your mothers estate'. Monty Python's The Holy Grail called it 'Huge ... tracts of land!' as the king cupped his hands in front of his chest. Along with tits and a butt, I grew into my face. The facial baby fat cheeks migrated to the...

Dance of a LifetimeChapter 58 Old Friends

Author's note. The game for chapter 58: spot the Monty Python reference. Caller number ten with the correct answer wins The Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition. And, no, that wasn't it. "Here." Crash was handing Warren a sandwich. "Got these at a deli in downtown Evanston. Keep 'em in the fridge. "Damn, Crash, you rule. I love Ruebens." "I know you do. And this place makes great sandwiches." Warren took a bite. "Shit, you ain't kidding." Crash handed...

Dance of a LifetimeChapter 68 Truth or Dare

The second floor had one of their parties the first Saturday in December. They did this about once of month. There was alcohol around, but their parties were casual. At the beginning of the party, most of the guys on the floor would leave their doors open, and everyone would roam around, chatting and mingling. There was food around, munchies and stuff. Later in the night, some groups of friends would gather in a particular room. This is what had happened, in Warren and Tim's room. Besides...

Surviving the IslandChapter 3

The sounds of crashing waves woke most of them all at the same time. The boat was also pitching a bit more than it had been since the night the Ocean Princess sank. James lifted himself high enough to look out over the stern and see they were being carried by the tide straight towards a small island. They were just close enough to hear the waves crashing, but far enough away to confirm it was definitely an island, and not a very big one. James scanned the horizon in all other directions with...

Carrying the FlagChapter 10 Experience Gained

When we pulled into Matt’s driveway Haddy heaved a sigh of relief. Lestat was there, trying to look casual, leaning on his gleaming Harley Davidson, reading a book. She began to quiver. I think she was more than a little bit conflicted. For that matter, he wasn’t doing a very good job of looking casual. The moment we’d pulled up his eyes flicked up off the book and went right to her. I’d seen that look on gymnasts and divers just before they went into action at a meet, at the end of the...

Porn Trends